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Look at the nearest book in your collection. You are now in that world armed with nearest item to your person that could be described as a weapon, and nothing but the clothes on your back. How do you fare?
>>
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>I am in the world of Snow Crash
>I have a big-ass knife
>I am wearing only socks
I feel like a dark souls meme build. And it could go one of two ways; either I'm going to immediately attract the attention of security and be locked up, or I'm going to basically be invisible on the grand scale because no one wants to bother recording footage of someone that they're going to have to bother censoring before they can put it on the market.
>>
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>>56409696
>DnD 5E
>handgun
We blaster sorc now
>>
>>56409696
Well the nearest 3 books to me are english versions of the Overlord novels. I'm armed with a well used kitchen knife and wearing slacks and a t-shirt and nothing else.
Well I'm probably killed by some sort of demihuman. If not proceed to E-Rantel and pledge myself to the service of Ainz Ooal Gown. If that's not feasible then I'm probably in for a hard time of it.
>>
>Uprooted.
>Long gun strapped to go bag.
>Barefoot.
I'm probably fucked and still would be even if I had my boots on.
>>
Closest book is Tigers in the Mud by Otto Carius, so I suppose I'm gonna be somewhere on the eastern front. Closest "weapon" is either a pen or a small tank of ligther fluid, I guess I'd go with the latter for general utility. Hard times.
>>
>>56409696
>Rise of the runelords
>A beer bottle
>shirt, pant and hiking boots on.

Feels good /tg/, until Nualia's suck my dick for theses boots.
>>
>>56409696
I am in historical Napoleonic Europe, armed with a fucking rolling pin.

... BITCH SWERVE, BADASS COMING THROUGH.
>>
>>56409874
Sucks to be you man!
>>
Im in Forgotten Realms (Legend of Drizzt) wearing a t shirt and jeans armed with a crowbar.

Yeh
>>
>House of Leaves
>No clothes
>Metal crossbar from a keyboard stand

Well, looks like I'm fucked by the Minotaur.
>>
I'm in 1970's England in the Dark is Rising series. So... That means I should go and find an old one and hope they can send me home.
>>
Dracula and scissors
>>
>>56410075
wearing high-waisted shorts and a crop top with no shoes, im probably not gonna last terribly long.
>>
The Pepsi-Cola bottling plant in Hokkaido, carrying a lighter and wearing jeans, a hoodie, and slippers.

Let's see if I can talk my way out of deportation, if I don't just land in a public area.
>>
>John Steakley's Armor
>A cheap letter opener
>Bathrobe + flip flops

Depends on when and where in that world I end up. Odds are good I'll be just fine or at least get a cell and meals.
>>
>>56410084
Well if you can explain to Van Hellsing that maybe the fine young woman might have some good ideas about why all of her friend's blood keeps disappearing, you're probably fine.
>>
>agatha christie novels
>20s london
>crossman pellet co2 gun
>shorts,tshirt , flip flops


pretty nippy in bongland no?
>>
LotR with an AR-15 and a white t shirt and sweatpants

I'm fucked after the 31 shots are gone
>>
>>56409696
>american gods
>metal baseball bat
>bear onsie
does anything change?
>>
>Tractato Logico Philosophicus
>Fountain Pen

What exactly does a world concerned with describing the nature of the world look like /tg/?
>>
>Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
>An orange romper...barefoot
>A dildo
>>
>>56409696
>an encyclopedia about guns
>armed with a big kitchen knife
>dressing random shirt+comfy pants

I don't really know where I am, though
>>
html basics ( oolddd as fuck )
ball shorts/shirt/asic toprunners
9mm

I guess ill manage
>>
>math textbook
>pencil
>wearing just enough for freezing temperatures

I guess I go stab some example Bobs and Johns, and kill myself out of boredom.
>>
>>56410266
You find yourself in an infinite white space like in the Matrix, surrounded by never ending rows of firearms.
>>
>>56410451
You'd be better off switching weapons with >>56410242
>>
>>56410242
>An orange romper
>A dildo
Which is the weapon and which the attire?
>>
>>56409696
>I am buck naked on Arrakis with a short sword
I'm dead.
>>
>>56410762
Within the hour. Unless, you arrived during Leto the Second's reign. Then you get to enjoy being worked over by hot women for hours on end as they try to figure out where a primal Terran came from. Enjoy being introduced into Leto's breeding program because he didn't see your arrival.
>>
>>56409696
I'm transported to modern-day Russia, holding a fork and wearing nothing but my underwear.
Not looking good for me, desu.
>>
>>56410193
Dungeons and Discourse, Dresden Codak.
>>
>>56410803
Don't turn down any drinks offered to you and look for the American consultant. Flag down a Russian police officer and tell him you escaped from some human traffickers.
>>
>>56409696
>sherlock holmes
>leatherman surge

meh, I'll be all right
>>
>1e D&D
>1.5 foot bat covered in electric tape
Well it's somethin' at least. I always figured I was small and graceful enough to be a half-decent thief.
>>
>>56410148
>bear onsie
Please let me see that, anon!
>>
>small snap off craft knife

>closest book
> the autopoesis of architecture
im in some crazy cyberpunk smart city. probably end up homeless because i have no money

>closest novel
>brothers Karamazov
e i can't speak russian. Maybe Alyosha would take pity on me and take me to the monastery. wouldn't mind living the rest of my life as a comfy monk.
>>
>>56409696
>on phone, first pdf in files is the Complete Fallout Bible
>armed with phone? Or unopened, 5 gallon jug for a water cooler.
>work uniform and steel toe boots

Depends on how dangerous my starting area is and how fast I can get real weapons, armor, meds and food.
>>
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Reading to my daughter this morning. Closest responsible item is probably a chef's knife downstairs.

I'm pretty good, I'll just walk down to the Hooper's store and ask if they need help. I can chop veggies and do food prep while living in an idyllic world of early childhood education.

Good end man.
>>
>>56409696

>The thread in which we fail to realize the OP's intent is that a book in your collection means an RPG book, not just whatever book is closest.
>>
>>56409696
>Halo collector’s edition novelty book
>9mm SR9e

Well fuck...
>>
>>56409696
>Dune
>Swiss army knife
>Woolen jumper
Fuck.
I mean, as long as I spawn on the north pole, or on another planet I'll be fine, but if I appear anywhere in the main deserts of arrakis I'm screwed.
>>
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TFW you end up in 40K with an x-acto knife wearing only your boxes,
>>
>Once Upon a Time in Russia
>a swiss army knife

As long as I don't step between the oligarchs and Putin's rise to power, I guess my chances of survival are about the same as any guy in the modern world with just a knife.
>>
>>56411671

Hopefully you are on Ultramar or some other rare gem of stability. Given that you are unambiguously human, you have something going for you at least.
>>
>>56409696

>Hero of the Imperium collection
>Shirt, jeans and waterproof shoes
>A lamp

I'm oh so lucky.
Better try to join the Guard ASAP
>>
>basic writings of Nietzsche
>billy club
>business casual

Guess it's the real world. Looks like I die the same way I live

An edgelord
>>
>>56409696
I am now stuck back in time, in central Spain, while a crazy man goes around pretending to be a knight.
>>
>>56409696
>Lord of the Rings
>AR-15
>in the nude

Well... it will be interesting.
>>
>>56411555
I don't have my collection with me, all I have are PDFs at the moment, so sue me. I'll be hanging out with my man of La Mancha, and turning him into a proper Haruhi Suzumiya rip-off.
>>
>The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (reading to child this morning before pre-k)
>Walking stick
>Dress pants, blue ocbd, Schreier Tassel Dress Loafers

I would live the comfiest of lives, hangin' out and playing pooh sticks,
>>
>Harry Dresden novel
>Steak Knife
>Jeans, ankle socks, dark souls t-shirt

Umm....not really sure how i feel about this. Guess i go figure out if i can do magic?
>>
>>56409696
GURPS basic set
Scissors
>>
>>56409696
I've a bottle of beer and Ulysses here

Not sure how I'd fare

If, by wayward dare

Toward tides, salt and fear
>>
>>56409696
>The Bible
>table knife
Thank G-D I'm Jewish.
>>
>>56411775
If we're including non-fiction then it's The Ego and His Own for me (plus table-knife). I will join you in edgy heaven (hell), my brother.
>>
>>56410266
You should not have brought a knife to a gun fight.
>>
>>56409696
I'm in Camorr with a pair of scissors wearing a suit.

I'm utterly fucked.
>>
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>pic related
>scalpel
So basically the real world except I'm considerably poorer and without a home. Time to brave the homeless shelter with my shitty shiv, first order of business is to get some shoes and then I'll just wing it from there. I'll be fine.
>>
>>56409696
>International Releations-Concepts and theories
>Combat Knife

What is even going on here.
>>
>>56411555
No, the OP's intent is to show what absolute trash passes for literature on /tg/. Almost every single reply is some genre trash instead of philosophy, history, or science books. If most of your bookshelf is fiction then it just means that you're a failure in making a well-rounded, learned individual.
>>
>>56409696

>Legacy of Caliban
>Ballpoint pen.

Yeah, no.
>>
>>56413597

It just said closest book. That doesn't immediately mean that every book in the collection is fiction.
>>
DnD 5e PHB, so I would assume I'm in Forgotten Realms. I'm armed with a 22oz beer bottle and I'm in my boxers.

I'm gonna go and probably fight the nearest kobold or goblin and take their stuff.
>>
>>56413597
>I don't like litterature
Yeah, we got it.
>>
>>56409696
>The Wealth of Nations is sitting on my desk right now
>I have a Leatherman on my belt, and clothes that would seem well made but highly out of place in 1776
I'm pretty much fucked, but maybe if I can make myself useful long enough to earn some dollars, I can write a "prophetic" "science fiction" "novel" warning of the many and varied woes that come with using theme-park versions of ideas as propaganda.
>>
>>56409696
>Blood Meridian
>Knife
>Jeans and T-shirt
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
>>
Well, the nearest pbysical book from my personal collection would be... an entire shelf. Shit.

The nearest PDF, though, is going to be Stars Without Number. I'm wearing office clothes and have the torn off blade from a paper cutter.

I can probably make this work.
>>
>>56413910
You find yourself on a small foot trail surrounded on each side by shrubbery. There is a small wooden sign in serious disrepair but you can't recognise the language at all. You do notice that there has been an attempt to scratch the words out.

You hear a sudden sound from the bushes and a diminutive, scaly, green creature charges towards you. It has small, white jagged teeth and is wielding a rusty sword flecked with blood.

>Roll intiative

What do you do?
>>
>>56409696
>Diskworld
>pocket knife
>sweatpants, t-shirt and light hoody
Eh depending on where I land I should be ok-ish.
>>
>>56409696
>wearing my pajamas
>I have a Swiss Army knife
>I'm in The Flavor Bible

...Okay.
>>
Rolled 16 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>56414275

I'll try to use an action to dodge, considering I would have, like, 9 AC.
>>
>>56414532

It doesn't take into account negative modifiers?
>>
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>Malazan: Book of the Fallen
>Set of modelling knives
>>
>>56409696
>Dinner with a cannibal
>Knife
>not too bad
>>
>>56409696
I'm in Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses with a bottle of good whiskey. Wearing a full set of clothes but no shoes.
Things could be worse, though I guess it depends on whether I'm in the present or in one of the flashbacks, and where exactly.
>>
>>56409696
>Arabian Nights
>I have a pocket knife
>I'm wearing pajamas
I die in the desert. Terribly. An arab finds my body and it becomes a curiosity/warning to other travelers from distant lands.
>>
Rolled 8, 20 = 28 (2d20)

>>56414532
The goblin reacts first with worrying haste and swipes at you with his rusty blade as you attempt to dodge out of the way.

I'll be generous and assume you have an AC of 10. Your base stats as a 5E human are all 11. If you feel you deserve a higher score in any of those let me know.
>>
>>56413597
So as the book nearest to me is civil code an nearest thing passable for weapon is stick with national flag...
I am thrilled for exiting and not boring adventures to come in weird land of legal writings.
>>
>>56415032

It missed (assuming you were rolling disadvantage). I retort with a quick, jerky swing, gripping the bottle neck and pretending I'm using a really short and slippery mace.

Nah, I'd say I'm pretty average.
>>
>>56409696
>The Scarpetta Factor
>Medieval axe
>Work clothes (no shoes)
There's no reason to suspect I don't exist in the Scarpettaverse, so I might have to kill and dispose of my doppleganger but otherwise life as normal.
>>
>>56409696
> Semi-hard sci-fi set on a generation ship
> Armed with an assortment of glass bottles
> Jeans, T-shirt, and barefoot
So long as I don't land in one of the wildlife preserves and get eaten/freeze to death, I'll be fine.
>>
>>56409696
>a brief histoy of time
at this point whatever I'm wearing or have for a weapon doesn't matter whatsoever, since none of it is a space-suit.

I knew I should've put that fucker back in the bookshelf.
>>
>>56415158
Its wild flailing does indeed miss the mark, evidently your strange, pungent aroma has put even this creature off.

You strike it back with a full swing of your bottle...
>>
>>56409696
>Horus Heresy
>compound bow
this is going to interesting
>>
> Discworld
> walking stick
> fancy waiter clothing

Hmm, either I masquerade myself as a fancy wizard and bullshit my way out of everything...

Or I do my goddamned best to not be noticed by the patrician... Don't wanna talk about angels
>>
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>>56409696
>Guns clearly stated to be extremely unreliable in the Old Kingdom
I'm kinda fucked if I can't get past the wall to civilization
>>
Well I am in my 4 year old son's room (phone fagging). I am now armed with a wooden one and a half foot long sword and I am actually very surprised to be in the 40k world as my copy of Dark Heresy is in the children's book shelf while I'm renovating the study. I was sure this would be an easy assignment in some candy land or something but I'm pretty much screwed.
>>
>Sister Alice
>A wooden katana
>Pajamas
Seeing as I am not a transhuman I either die quickly or get swallowed into the underworld of the ecumenopolis. If I arrive early in the novel I might be able to warn the families not to try their big bang project. They won't listen, but I might be made into a starship when they realise I'm right.

>>56412019
>Walking stick
Are you disabled?

>>56413597
lit plz
>>
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>>56413597
>You can't enjoy multiple kinds of books
>>
>>56409696
>WOT
>My shoe, bane of all arachnids
>just took a shower and just chilling in briefs
Punished for public indecency. After my punishment I find a pair of pants. I'll start a vermin extermination company. In the WOT, vermin are spies for the dark one so I might be able to get government subsidiary depending on which country I'm in.

Start a small comfy extermination company and find myself a QT waifu. Ill probably just introduce a few modern concepts as I see fit, especially those involving none source fueled medicine.
>>
>>56409696
>an illustrative WW2 history book for children
>a bottle-opener/corkscrew hybrid
>cargo pants and a t-shirt
Pretty fucked. The first page of the book (the closest part to me) describes the Norwegian theater; best case scenario I can try to get some English soldiers to believe that I'm an ordinary American bystander and flee with them.
>>
>>56409696
>Caught in the Revolution
>A pot
>Shoes, jeans, a t-shirt and a dressing gown

Arthur Dent meets the Bolsheviks (and introduces Petrograd to Teflon-coated cookware)
>>
>>56409696
>An Asterix comic
>A wooden bed frame board
Well, i'm no roman, but living in occupied territory, so i'm doing okay, i guess.
>>
>>56409696
>Pre-WWI Finland
>A pair of blunt scissors

They're not even good enough to kill myself with.
>>
>Looks to left.
>HP Lovecraft Collection.
>Looks to right.
>Backpack.

Well shit.
>>
> The Brothers Karamazov
> Set-Square
> Jeans and T-shirt

Probably die of hunger or frozen during winter on the streets of some russian city.
>>
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>>56415812
>Move to small village and open up a barber store
>Live comfy snow elf life
What's the issue? You dodged a bullet, or in this case billions of 7.62 diameter bullets specifically.
>>
>>56415863
M8, you're talking about a country and a time when the poetry in vogue was about mixing bark into your bread so you could live to suffer a little longer.

And when I say pre-WWI, I mean that WWI is just about to start.
>>
>>56409696

>Phone book

FUCK! I WENT NOWHERE!
>>
>>56409696
I’m on Roshar in business casual with a cup of hot coffee.
>>
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>>56415930
Admittedly most my knowledge about Finland revolves around the winter war. I hear birch bark has a nice minty flavour though so take heart anon
>>
>Hyperion
>Swiss army knife
>in my pajamas

I might be OK
>>
>closest book Dragonlance
>closest thing to use as a weapon: power cord
welp, thankfully I have nothing of value on me, so I won't have to worry about any kenders stealing my shit.
>>
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>>56409696
>in a book where all blades have magical power
>machete
I'm pretty well off if I can figure out how magic works.
I'm wearing casual, but I think I can work with it.
>>
>>56409696
Leaning on a German textbook right now, so I guess I'm in Germany. I'll do all right as long as I avoid no-go zones and find people who speak English to direct me to the embassy.
>>
>>56409696

>Night Watch
>souped up hunting rifle

Sam Vimes is gonna go spare when he sees me.
>>
>>56409696
In my collection? Then it's either Terry Pratchett or the Oz books(the bookshelves are equidistant from me), and the closest weapon is one of those half-sized souvenir bats. If Pratchett, use knowledge of series and civil engineering/modern technology to get a job and survive. If Oz, find someone kind to take me in and have fun adventures.

>>currently in Teeshirt and boxers. Would have to find pants.
>>
>>56409696
>Collection of H.P. Lovecraft's short stories.
>Barbell
If I cannot protect my brain from cosmic horror, I will protect my muscles.
>>
>>56409696
1984 with an knife
shit
>>
>>56413597
What are you doing on /tg/?
>>
>>56409696
Well, fuck. Palestine during al-Nakba.

That's not fun at all.
>>
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>>56409696
>world of Japanese origami
>box cutter
>black hoodie
Bring it!
>>
>The Prince by Machiavelli
>1/2" pipe with an end cap and "ram rod"
>Im only in boots

I come from /k/
I might be on a watchlist
I wore boots to take my dog for a piss in the back yard
>>
>>56409696

Ben-Hur

Pocket knife

I don't know Latin so i'm going to end up a slave..
>>
>>56409696
>World is Stephen Kings Black Tower -series
>armed with switch knife
>t-shirt, shorts and socks
I probably die pretty swiftly.
>>
>>56409696
> LotR
> Kitchen knife
Not as good as I'd imagine.
>>
>"What Happened" by Hillary Clinton
>Armed with a kitchen knife
>Wearing jeans and a sweater

I guess I just keep living my current life.
>>
>The Pueblo Indians of North America
>a really sharp pair of fabric scissors
I think I'll be OK. The book was written in the 60's, so I'd assume that I'd be on a Pueblo reservation in the same period. I'd probably just do a few odd jobs, hitchhike to Albuquerque or something, and buy a Greyhound ticket back to Rhode Island.
>>
>>56416940
Oh yeah, I'm wearing a flannel and jeans. If it's hot, I can take off the flannel because I'm wearing an undershirt under that.
>>
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>>56409696
I'm wearing slippers, fleece pants and a longsleeve shirt. I'm gonna be fine.
>>
>>56409696
>The Great Roman-Judea War of 70AD
>A Hockey Stick

I'm probably fucked.
>>
>Ankh-Morpork
>A knife
I'm probably going to die.
>>
>>56409696
Is this RPG books only? Because if it isn't, I'm carrying a NERF gun and standing next to Spider-Man.
>>
>>56413597
Mankind needs lies to be happy and truth to stay sane.

A shelf consisting only of nonfiction is the shelf of a man with no imagination and no soul. A shelf consisting ONLY of fiction is the shelf of child.

A man needs both.
>>
>>56409696
>The world of RAVE
>Nail clippers
>Completely nude
Well...
>>
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>>56418687
>>
>>56413597
>genre trash
Opinion discarded.
>>
>>56410147
The Mallorean with a camping knife. Depending on where I land Ill either be fine or quickly bludgeoned to death and eaten
>>
>>56409696
>Dune
>Crysknife
lets fucking go
>>
>the last wish
>underwear and a fur coat
>longsword

I'm also drunk, so atleast i'll fit in before i die.
>>
>>56409696
>The State in the Third Millennium by Prince Hans-Adam II, reigning prince of Liechtenstein
I suppose I get to live in the ideal states of Hans-Adam II. Which is good. But not interesting.
Too bad Dune Messiah and Don Quixote were both a few inches further away.
>>
>>56419848
Oh, and, if I need a weapon, I've got a pocket knife under my bed. I doubt I'd need it, though.
>>
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>>56409696
>Troubleshooting and Maintaining Cisco IP Networks
>Basic Bitch AR in 300BLK with no sights
Someone help me, I really don't know what is going on.
>>
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>>56409696
>Lovecraft's Necronomicon with every published short story
>fuck.png
>>
Edith Hamilton's Mythology.
Tighty Whities.
VEPR FM-AK74-11

Zeus, meet Kalashnikov.
>>
>Ciaphas Cain
>An AR-15
>Currently wearing my work uniform
I'm going to fucking die
>>
>>56416271
Yeah, until you inevitably run into the fucking Shrike.
>>
I have a sturdy fork, and I'm in a Greek monastery in the early middle ages. I guess I'll enroll as a novice.
>>
Do comics count?
>Ghost in the Shell
>Scalpel
Guess I just become a homeless guy without any shoes or something.
>>
>>56420506
At least you're relatively well equipped.
>>
>standing next to Malcom X holding a transparent Nerf Gun in my pajamas

If I don't die there will be so much explaining to do.
>>
>A fucking flyswatter
...shit
>>
>>56409696

>Blame
>A fork
Welp I'm dead.
>>
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>>56410524
Fuck it's like that Twilight zone episode with the library.

>Guns, guns, everywhere,
>And all the men did shriek;
>Guns, guns, everywhere,
>Nor any cartridge to plink.
>>
Borderlands 's Pandora, hoodie and jeans, armed with grandfather's old switchblade.

I might be fucked unless I can get to Sanctuary in time.
>>
>>56411504
But Anon...Hooper's not there anymore. And he's not coming back.
>>
>>56420746
I'm curious as to how an AR would fare in the 41st millenium
>>
>>56409696
>The collected works of HP Lovecraft
>A CZ P09 handgun
>It won't matter for long

At least I have the means to make me end quick and painless.
>>
>Ranma 1/2
>Shibari rope
>Welding outfit
Makes sense
>>
>A war biography about the Vietnam War
>Walther PPS with 2 mags and 15 cartridges

If I'm plopped down in the jungle I'm probably dead. If I'm put in a US-controlled camp or town I'll probably be okay. I'm Half Asian so I'm not sure if anyone will believe I'm American, though.
>>
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>House of Leaves
>candle stick

I'll probably be fine right
>>
>>56409696
>5th edition Imperial Guard codex
>Semi-automatic .338 lapua rifle
So I guess I can be a sniper in a planetary defence force that still uses archaic weapons.
>>
>A Selection of Classical Chinese Essays From Guwenguanzhi
>Draft mechanical pencil

Imperial China? I can speak modern vernacular Chinese, not Middle Chinese. My socks have yellow on them, so I can't be seen wearing them or else it's the death penalty for me.

The pencil will be pretty useless unless if I can adapt it as a brush. If I keep the book, I'm in a much better state. Hopefully I'm not plopped down in one of the chaotic periods though.
>>
>Armed with a fork, in my boxers
>World of Endymion
Haven't read the Hyperion series yet, how fucked am I?
>>
>Asimov's Robot's universe
>Portable typewriter
>Bathrobe
pretty terrible I guess? It would be awful to live on Earth. Funny thing is that he predicted 8 billion as the time when people would be living in underground/caged places and now we are at 7 billion and nothing close to that is happening
>>
>>56409696
>Mage: the Awakening 2nd Edition
>a long metal flashlight like cops have
I guess I do alright. Could have some Mortals adventures with my trusty flashlight or something. Would need to get my hands on some shoes though.
>>
>>56409696
>Battle Royale
>A medium-sized screwdriver
>Light clothes and slippers

I'm fucked.
>>
>>56421395
Provided you don't encounter the Shrike, you should be fine as long as you don't piss anyone off.
>>
>>56409696
>Veteran's Foreign Wars Edition of Pictorial History of the Second World War, Volume 3
>Tape dispenser
>Dressed like a fucking chicken

Why is my life a joke, /tg/?
>>
>I'm in Rifts
>I have a wooden bunk bed ladder
>jeans and a tshirt

Just bend me over and fuck me while I die, please.
>>
>>56409696
>One of my wife's book called "the Land of Stories"
>A sponge mop thing
>Jeans, t-shirt, socks, boxers, and my glasses

Not sure, haven't read the book, it's written by the guy who played Kurt in Glee so it can't be to dangerous. Right?
>>
>Closest book near me is a photo book of gay male erotica by a Japanese photographer

>How do you fare?

I do pretty damn good for myself that's what.
>>
>Hitman, the Bret Hart autobiography
>An xacto knife
>Sweatpants and a Dark Souls shirt

I'm going to try and avert the Montreal Screwjob by stabbing Shawn and threatening Earl Hebner until he counts the three

4/10
>>
>>56421943
>>Sweatpants and a Dark Souls shirt

Are you me right now in an alternate universe?
>>
>A history of the Civil War.
>A Mauser K98.
>Jeans, a flannel shirt and steel toe boots.

Pretty good I guess? I "invent" the Mauser bolt action and smokeless powder early and make a fortune.
>>
>>56420901
No, there's endless clips as well.
>>
>>56409696
>TFW moving and have almost all of my books in my car
>I am in my Dream Journal, therefore I am stuck in my own mind
>Shotgun in my closet
>Wearing nothing but my boxers and a US Navy T-Shirt
Considering it's my own dreams and my own mind, Ill hope to find some characters I've previously made, and hope they can help a bro out and give me some pants, then perhaps get a few beers or something
>>
>>56421400
Fun fact. There's over 100 billion domestic pigs and over 100 billion cattle on earth. Both of these animals eat far more than humans. Writers often have no idea what the fuck they're talking about!
>>
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>>56409696
I'll be in a Japanese garden with a pocket knife? I think I'll be ok and fairly relaxed.
>>
>>56409696
>All Flesh Must Be Eaten
>a bowl of spaghetti
>boxers, trousers, t-shirt, light jacket, and glasses.

I don't have any physical books so i just went with the last pdf I read. Our last game of AFMBE took place in cold war era new mexico where our party was investigating a conspiracy involving skinwalkers. I pray I don't run into my PC.
>>
>>56422307
Never mind. This incorrect, maybe.
>>
>>56409696

I'm in an NRA catalog. Nearest item to my person that could be described as a weapon is a Sig P938.

I go find the hiking girl on Page 15 and take a trip to Fucksylvania, defending myself from small bears.
>>
>> IG Codex.
Fug.
>> Beer bottle.
Yup, I'm fucked.
>> Gym shorts and tee shirt.
Destination Fucked.
>>
>>56409696
>Farseer Trilogy at the start of the Red Ship Wars
>Scar 17 & ~3k rounds
>Carhartt work pants, boots, & a sweater

Eh, definitely could be worse.
>>
>>56422446
So your a close combat recon specialist guardsman, whats the problem? Your in no more trouble than anyone else in the Guard.
>>
>>56422446
Welcome to the guard Son. War's been declared!
>>
>>56409696
Thank God I wear my gun at home. I'm in enders game. Time to kill some buggers.
>>
>snowpiercer
>2 soviet era amputation scalpels
>fully clothed including steel capped boots

I am more than fucking fine.
>>
>>56409696
>The Witcher
>A katana
>T-shirt and boxer shorts
Well, I'll get horribly mauled.
>>
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>>56409696
>Earthsea
>M1903 Springfield
>Mario pajama pants, extra-fluffy socks, bear claw slippers, t-shirt, zip-up sweater, commando

Look, I don't want to hurt anyone with this rifle, Earthsea might be the comfiest fantasy setting known to man. I just want to go fishing and herd goats, and if I have the knack for it, maybe learn some Words.

It's going to be a bitch and a half when my eyeglasses finally get smashed or lost, though. I can't imagine even the best healers of Roke know what astigmatism is.
>>
>>56409696
>mistborn: wax era
>box cutter
>shirt and raggedy track pants
I'd say I'd be dead, but maybe Harmony will save me.
>>
>A Sonic comic, Flyn Era.
Well I might not be completely fucked. Unless I keep my aesthetic (In other words, I look like a live action bloke who photoshopped himself in) then the zone cops are going to be on my ass sooner or later and I'll look like something Penders would have made to boot.
>I have both a tomahawk and a broadsword on the wall.
Not sure how sharp they are but pretty good. Handle on the sword is a bit akward though.
>Casual wear.
And I have nowhere to actually put my sword.
Guess I'll see if Eggman needs someone to make him blueprints, because god knows I'm not about to fight a robot rape machine even if I had a good gun. Again, unless I keep my aesthetic then in which case I'm just fucked.
>>
>>56409696
>Sabriel with a hunting knife and wearing gym shorts and a flannel shirt.

Well, I'm fucked but good thing I don't have a gun.
>>
>>56409696
I am in the world of C.J. Chivers's "The Gun". Given that this is a nonfictional book, nothing has changed. If it means anything, I have a kazoo.
>>
>Homage to Catalonia
>moist nugget with 5 rounds and a bayonet

Guess it's time to do my part and try to save the Republic. Hope I can figure out a way to keep the Commies from fucking things up again, though.
>>
> The Monster Girl Encyclopedia
> Gladius and Scutum
> Pair of pajama pants
Off to find myself a Hellhound waifu gents.
>>
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>>56422962
Anon, no. Believe not their lies. Accept not their corruption.
>>
>>56423049
Ah piss off. Let an Anon get his waifu. What reason do i have not to?
>>
>The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen
>Pen knife
>Heavy shirt, pants, trainer shoes

Sounds like an actual adventure of the Baron
>>
At first I thought all the "in mah undies" replies were just because of the OPs post timing, but it's been a full day and they are there at all hours.

FFS /tg/, put on some pants.
>>
>>56409696
The closest book to me is Moby Dick, all i'm wearing is a dressing gown and the only thing even remotely resembling a weapon is a pair of old, dull scissors. This is not going to end well
>>
>>56422959
Anarchists would never win, the best you could hope for is curbing Franco away from war crimes
>>
>>56423081
Would you sell your soul, your humanity, your knowledge of REALITY, for a dream - a dream which you can never control? A dream in which your values are painted over with theirs? You will not be yourself if you give in to them. You will not be who your parents raised, who your friends cherish, who your enemies grudgingly respect.

You might as well be an empty doll, for all any of them might recognize you.
>>
>Audobon Society Field Guide to North American Mushrooms
>Pencil
>Oversized sweater, sweatpants

Im gonna record the shit out of these fungal motherfuckers.
>>
>>56409696
>Pathfinder
>Lighter or Fork
>Nude.

If I can get a class, naked barbarian, survive forever.

Otherwise, I'm fucked.
>>
Excession (A cluture novel by Ian M Banks
A Swiss Amy knife
Dressing gown and slippers

Looks like its comfy hedonism for me
>>
>>56409696

>Forgotten realms
>Pocket Knife
>Button-up shirt and khaki's

Well fuck. I got nothing. might as well be a merchant or some shit.
>>
>>56423196
Watch out for anything remotely related to Cordyceps.
>>
>Closest book: Tao Te Ching
>Closest narrative book: Penguin Classics Call of Cthulhu (and Other Weird Stories)

>Clothes: Jeans, thermal underwear and a t-shirt

>Weapon: Does a steel chair count, or can I use a big-ass kitchen knife?

I am probably fucked.
>>
>>56423249
Oh shit.
>>
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>Warhammer 40k core book
>empty beer bottle
>Work uniform

I guess if I break the bottle I'm about as well armed as an average Guardsman.
>>
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>>56423305
IG gear is leagues beyond anything on modern Earth, it only looks weak because everything else in 40K is filename related.
>>
>>56415364
What book am this?
>>
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>>56409696
>Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
>A clam handpuppet/shitty sword I found at goodwill depending on how anal you want to be about "nearest item to your person that could be described as a weapon"
>In my pajamas
I am either now homeless in a foreign country, or promptly arrested for running around with a cutlass in my jammies.
>>
>>56423378
Which Part? If it's Part 4, try to find the Arrow.
>>
>>56409696
>A generic collection of various mythologies, aptly titled Myths and Legends
>A knife with a broken tip that I've been sharpening on and off for a week
>Pants, sweater, no shoes.

Will I fit into the genre? Because if it's Irish mythology I'm set for irish heroics. Most others I'll just straight up die in the background. Good show either way.
>>
>>56423390
3, unfortunately.
>>
>>56409978
Excellent taste, but why are you naked?
>>
>>56409696
> Miss Peregrin's Home For Peculuar Children
> A folding knife
...I guess I'm fine? It's just our earth but with pockets of weird shit; unless I went looking for it I could easily just resume my own life; unless there's already a me in this world, then it gets weird.
On the other hand it's 2014(15?) so I've got 2 years meta-knowledge.
>>
>>56423400
Try to get Joseph to teach you Hamon, seeing as he's the last living practicioner. He may be slacking off on it, but he still knows how it's done.
>>
>>56423408
>Why are you naked?
>>
>>56423444
I can't argue with this.
>>
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>Boku No Hero Academia
>A half-used linen scented candle
>Normal clothes
I don't even fucking get killed. I'm just homeless in a country whose language I don't even speak.

At least I smell nice.
>>
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>Glock 26
> In the world of Death of a Salesman

Ok
>>
>>56409978
The Minotaur isn't real you mongoloid. You're living in the real world, it just happens to be inhabited by the crazy lady who the writer intends as the true author of the book.
>>
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>The tournament by Matthew Reilly
>kitchen knife
I'd be fine except I suck at chess and can't speak a language other than english

guess I'll die
>>
>>56423494
It's been a while for me. Truants' mother was the writer?
>>
I'm in the 40K universe and I've got a brick. I'm so fucked.
>>
>>56423525
Zampano's "mother" was the writer. Neither Zampano nor Truant are real.
>>
>>56409696
>Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, 1st edition
>an old rapier

There are no stats listed for this weapon. Hopefully it's not too terrible though, and I prove sufficiently ultra-paranoid about traps and ambushes to survive a bit.
>>
>>56423474
>glock 26
>gun bro
>it's kinda like finding out you and someone else slept with the same girl
>then get drunk
>have a great time
>and egg her house
>with bullets? Maybe.
>gun bros
>>
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>>56409696
>World of Azeroth via Warcraft Manga
>Louisville Slugger right beside me
Batter Up, Alliance Pigs!
Hopefully I could convince the Darkspear Mages to teach me magic so I could be of some use to my glorious Warcheif.
>>
>>56423891
But you're human - as far as anyone is concerned, you're Alliance.
>>
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>>56409696
Luckily for just such an occasion, I keep a gladius on my bookshelf!

>Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders
...... fuck
>>
>>56423989
>>56423441
>>
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>>56409696
>"The Conspiracy Against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror" by Thomas Ligotti
>A series of reflections and analyses on philosophical pessimism and commentary on both philosophical works relating to it specifically and literary works (specifically horror) that relate to it in essence
>The central argument of this particular book being that life (and being alive) is not necessarily "all right" and in fact is quite horrifying and unasked-for
>The book is non-fiction and the world is the real one

Well, according to the author I'm faring pretty fucking badly for having been born, regardless of what weapon I have at hand.
>>
>>56421174

You gotta have a good explanation for that commie gun anon.

>>56421214

Pssh, you're good man, just don't come back to the house. You haven't been thinking about going back to the house, right?

>>56422529

Yeah, but, could be a hell.of a lot better man. Your optimism is laudible and all...
>>
>>56424086
Aw, come on, what could be so bad about existing as opposed to not existing? Can't do anything fun if you don't exist.
>>
>>56409696
A book about dogs, with a guard dog. I think I'm okay
>>
>>56424295

Well it just so turns out out there's a considerable amount of reading you can do on the subject.
>>
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>Tokugawa-era medieval Japan
>two dildos
>a full complect of clothing for freezing temperatures
Oh
>>
>A Song of Ice and Fire books
>Factory fake wakizashi
>button up shirt and cargo shorts.

Horribly bad unless I get the chance to scavenge a battlefield; still probably bad even with some gear.
>>
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>>56409696

The Knight and Knave of Swords by Fritz Leiber

Maglight

I don't know.
I'm pretty sure I'll be murdered for my magic torch.
>>
>>56409696
>stormlight archive
>with a knife
>but otherwise decent clothing on
well, i have blue eyes, so that certainly counts for something. i could fake amnesia and get in somewhere solid if its alethekar or jah keved. if im lucky, i might be able to break into the radiants or some shit. otherwise i can army up and become an archer or some shit.
>>
>>56423798
>i would use a short sword stats for 1e.
>>
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>>56409696
D&D 53
and Mosin-Nagant

if I can't learn magic then I'm fucked long term, but I might be able to survive long enough to learn some magic if I can.
>>
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The King In Yellow
Toy lightsaber
Hoodie only
>>
>>56424990
>gif

Did he live?
>>
>>56409696
The closest book to me this works for would be the Divine Comedy, and as for weapon since OP was kind enough to be vague guess I'll go for my rosary beads blessed by Pope John Paul the II.
>>
>>56425009
They never found the body. Some say you can still hear the screams.
>>
>>56425060
If i will ever become an Evil Overlord, this thing right here will replace all the boring spike-pit traps in my Castle Of Evilness
>>
>Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
>wearing pajama bottoms, t-shirt and socks
>wielding a hairbrush

I guess I'd go try to find Dirk and see if he could solve the case of me being pulled into his book. Sounds like the sort of thing he'd be into.
>>
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>>56409696
>Divine Comedy (whole thing, not just Inferno)
>a pair of footlong knitting needles
>barefoot
so I guess that's a 2/3 shot of landing somewhere relatively comfortable, at least. Or if we start in chapter 1, I guess I'm going through Hell because there's no way I'm going to be able to take on a she-lion with a half-knit scarf
>>
>>56409696
>The book is Forge of Darkness
>I have a revolver
>I am otherwise completely naked

Fucking god this is not going to be a good day. Though if I can get a lay of the land and get to a certain noble house, I can pretty much fix the entire setting in the future timeline and prevent a lot of people from going through a lot of fucked up shit. Doesn't even matter if I die doing it, will and intent has a power all of it's own in this shit.

Gonna put a bullet in Hunn Raal before he makes every bad decision it's possible for a man to make. Heaven or Hell motherfucker.
>>
>>56425394
Wasn't the she-lion an allegory for some kind of sin? The violent ones, right? Can you fight an allegory with any weapon?
>>
>>56419671
post pics of the crysknife
>>
>>56424086
Fantastic book. Inspired me to hang myself. Wouldn't recommend it to anyone who's emotionally unstable.
>>
>>56425394
i love gustave dore's work
>>
>>56425447
Supposedly, all three of the animals were. There was, in no particular order, a she-lion, a she-wolf, and a leopard. I've read a tiny bit of literature on them, but as far as I can tell consensus on any a meaning for any one of them is elusive.
>>
>>56409696
>AD&D 2e
>I am completely naked
>Splitting axe
I'd say I'm fairly well fucked until I can get some goddamn clothes at least. I'd settle for boots.
>>
>>56425540
Okay so they're all allegories. Can you stab allegories with sewing needles, or do you need to turn your sewing needles into eldritch magic wands first?
>>
>>56425559
I mean, even if they ARE allegories, so are the ironic punishments of Hell to an extent, so I don't see why they can't be allegories AND real, you know? Frankly, I'm not willing to bet.
I figure I'll work my way up to Hell, maybe do some praying on the way, and see if I can't find myself a divinely permitted guide in Limbo. And if I wind up in Purgatorio or Paradiso, I'm sure I'll be able to find somebody to help. I'd just rather not wind up with a one-way ticket to, I don't know, the River of Wrath or anything like that.
>>
I'm sent to the magical world of The Gulag Archipelago with a pair of nail clippers.

That sounds about right.
>>
>>56409696
I am making america great again (Crippled America: How to Make America Great Again), and I have a kids putter (golf club). I mean... I suppose I'm ok, it's basically just my real life...
>>
>>56410524
>surrounded by never ending rows of firearms.
...like in the Matrix
>>
>>56423887
High Five, bro
>>
Faerun 3.5,cigarette and vodka. Ll and a lighter
>>
>>56409696
>Just bought a copy of The Night Land after reading a /tg/ thread.
>.22 semi-auto
> Still royally boned :(
>>
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>>56409696
>word bearers: the omnibus
>pocketknife
I'm fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked
>>
>>56409696
>I am in Java Software Solutions, 4th edition
>I am wielding a computer
I'll be good, pham
>>
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Well shit, I'm not going to survive long in early WW1 with my wife's hair straightener as a club. Wish me luck Anon
>>
>>56409696
I live with a battleaxe in the world of Windwalkers.
Well, guess I just embark on a wheeled ship and prepare to never use my axe
>>
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>>56413265
>>
>>56409696
>just moved
>didn't bring any books
Do web serials count?
Nearest weapon would be the chair I'm sitting on. Might be able to pawn that for enough to cover an inn for a night or three; I may need shoes depending on where I end up, but I'm dressed and my cargo pants' pockets are pretty well stocked, so I'm no more fucked than most civilians on the continent of Calernia.
>>
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Well, let's see.
There is a book on the Icelandic language I use to learn, and the Niebelungenlied about equally close to me.
I guess I'll go with the Nibelungenlied, but Iceland wouldn't be too bad either. Glad as fuck that the Gulag Archipelago Is just a bit furhter away.
As for what could count as weapons, I guess my little hatchet is a bit too far. So I got a smol pocket knife.
As for clothing, just a t-shirt and a jeans.
>>
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>>56409696
>look up from thread to tab window
>Worm
>armed with a pen knife
>not wearing a shirt

I'm so fucked.
>>
>>56427980
>Gird your loins you sorry excuses for minions, we're going on a magical fucking adventure!

You'll end up shivved by a goblin before sundown, anon.
>>
>>56423264
You shouldn't be fighting, anyway!
>>
>>56419951

You in the matrix, now. Build your ACLs into a fortress, become the overmind.
>>
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>>56409696
>the bush war in rhodesia by dennis kroucamp
>a loaded L1A1 rifle
>buck naked

Call /k/, tell them I'm going home.
>>
>in the world of the Belgariad
>closest weapon is a sword which isn't very sharp though
>i'm wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants
>>
>>56425009
He died of dehydration and exhaustion most likely. Bodies still going, probably.

Don't let your kids play over a portal to a mirror dimension.




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