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What kind of shenanigans get on in a wizard school, especially between the various colleges. I'm going for a general 'no sense of right or wrong' wizardry, where the plural of wizard pretty recently was War, and that each class involves a non zero chance of death. Advancement generally means people will die, and that the higher ups would literally kill for tenure. I'm thinking things like collecting bat gauno from dire bats for third years, and parties getting crashed by the community bard college down the road..
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There's always the need to repair the blown lightning rod on the Philosophy of Religion building.
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Every time someone new learns how to make minor illusions, they leave piles of shit in chairs and make it look like whoopee cushions to see who would take the bait.
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There's also leaving out and cleverly disgusing copies of the instructions for the spell Harm Self.
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>>56806392
>Prestidigitation the cafeteria food to literally taste like rotten shit
>illusion stairs to look like flat ground with a coin on it
>skipping class to hide in the closet and Counterspell people trying to learn
>the always funny "go to page X, see page Y, check the corner of page Z" except there's an Explosive Rune at the end
>Antipathy or other warding spell on the bathroom door
>letting 3 displacer beasts loose with the numbers 1, 2, and 4 painted on them
>summoning a water elemental to drench the tests from today because you didn't study
>convince the freshmen that dragons can't see colors that don't exist on the dragon spectrum, e.g. they can see gold, red, blue, copper, etc but not purple
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>>56806392
>Getting to lectures for Apocryphal Geography is difficult, especially when you encounter lost tribes and explorers in the halls
>The timetables for Holistic History are uncertain and you might end up attending two classes simultaneously, but resist the urge to share notes with yourself
>Phantasmal Psychology has three professors sharing one body, which is good for office hours and bad when he decides to share this advantage with others
>Quixotic Botany has left an entire wing of the dorms uninhabitable and the local fertility cult are sneaking in to worship there
>A few study groups save time by meeting up in shared dreams, but collective nightmares can start bleeding into the real world
>And whatever the rats are eating has led them to petition for grant money
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>summoning a water elemental and have it hide in the toilets for the next person to come in
>antimagic field in the broom tower, watch people jump off expecting their brooms to catch them
>Wizardesses wear extremely short robes... to reveal they have Symbols of Pain engraved on their underclothes
>Forehead-height thin wall of force when people try to enter doors
>wall of force covering toilet seats
>unseen servant constantly looming behind cursed target, misplacing his belongings whenever possible
>Sneaking into the Transmutation lab and swapping their hybrid circles, so that for midterms the entire class channels their powers together to end up creating the fearsome bear-owl, which is an adorable owl-sized bear with a penchant for rats and has tail feathers.
>Buying the bear-owl from the transmution students, use it to get chicks.
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>>56806392
>the collective noun for wizards is war.

Shit, I'm so stealing this.
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>>56806658
>mfw when the freshmen leave to hunt a wyrmling dressed all in purple
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>>56806392

I'm glad you brought this up, OP. I have been thinking of a side quest where the PCs investigate a hazing at a Wizard' school gonr terribly, terribly wrong. I haven't given it a lot of thought yet, but I will be monitoring this thread for ideas.
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What is Magical Date Rape like?

What sort of PSA's would there be to prevent it?
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>>56807394
Long term domination spells, probably targeted against younger students who are less likely to have any kind of defenses.

"PSAs" about it mostly consist of paladins and clerics breaking your arms and not healing them for at least a few days when they come around for their bi-monthly evil sweep.
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>>56807544
>bi-monthly
It would be weekly at the very least, maybe an evil sweep at the beginning of every class.

Paladins and Clerics would be actually effective campus security.
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>>56807277
> not recognising a Terry Pratchett quote...
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>>56807692
>Terry Pratchett
Literally who?
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>>56806392
Some desperate guy/girl using necromancy to get a prom date
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>>56806658
>>56807116
>>56807260
moar
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>>56807706
b8
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>>56806392
Accidentally killing the creator's pet Marty Stus.
Finding good "Rocks falls everyone dies" insurance.
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>>56806658
>the always funny "go to page X, see page Y, check the corner of page Z" except there's an Explosive Rune at the end
>Antipathy or other warding spell on the bathroom door

Hilarious, I'm totally stealing these.
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>>56806392
>the cosmological engineering department manipulates the universal gravitational constant in the hallway as a way of announcing room changes
>one of the party-heavy fraternities named itself in explosive runes so nobody has been able to write them up for anything without the forms combusting
>the dean of students is advertising a bounty for a plaque of adamantium so he can work around that problem
>unfortunately he's a bigger nitwit than the dean in Animal House, and three dozen adventurers have died so far
>the xenobotany department got tired of the token "it's just a plant bro" dudeweed activist and locked her in a room with a thicket of Japanese rape vine
>they're very happy together and are expecting a leafy bundle of joy
>a missing rune on a philosopher's stone transformed lead into old, thus rapidly aging anything it comes in contact with
>nobody is sure when the department of time magic vanished or when it will reappear
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>>56808204
>one of the party-heavy fraternities named itself in explosive runes so nobody has been able to write them up for anything without the forms combusting
Now that's just clever
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>>56808204
>nobody is sure when the department of time magic vanished or when it will reappear

I love it
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>>56808204
>The school cafeteria is said always stocked to the brim with freshly prepared food of all kinds, ranging from ancient civilisations most famous dishes to obscure local specialities.
>The canteen lady has worked there longer than anyone can remember and the Dean is too proud to admit he can't read the contract she signed as it's in elder being runes that give him a headache to look at.

>some of the older school buildings have ancient and immensely powerful self repair spells built into the walls, cast by some of the greatest wizards and witches ever to live these spells were intended to cut costs on repairs
>An extension project started several years ago caused mages ordering around the worker constructs to realize there was no way to break the wall down and have it remain broken long enough to add the new corridor.
>The constructs are an older model, so they can't stop or take new orders until they're finished their task.
>the building is now known as "smash house dorm" and is used as lodging for the more destructive students

>there is a bottomless hole in the ground near a small sign that simply says "extraplanar shifting for beginners"

>the squirrels on campus have learned over the centuries and various experiments subjected to them to carve anti magic runes into anything that matters to them.

>it is now against school policy to take a succubus to graduation ceremonies.

>Magical creature activists have been protesting the use of magical creatures in potions, rituals and talent shows. These protests have caught the attention of a small but dedicated group of elves who are trying to make the whole things about natures rights
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>>56807260
>Wizardesses wear extremely short robes... to reveal they have Symbols of Pain engraved on their underclothes.
That (and this whole thread) just reminded me of the "Mage hand but with tactile feedback" spell from the third party ERP 3.5 supplement. That spell always stuck with me because it seemed like the EXACT thing that horny teenage wizards would create. Symbols of Pain underwear seems like a fitting retaliation from the opposite sex.
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>>56806392
GURPS IOU Iluminati (you're not cleared to know what the O stands for) University is literally this campaign.
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>>56807595
The paladin's/clerics have to learn somewhere, and you also can't have Wizards thinking ALL paladins are fun-hating-partypoopers. Probably best to train them in tandem, at in the theories of the multiverse before splitting them up due to differences in power source.
That way the wizards don't see the clergy as "those guys who don't let me have fun" but rather "Aston, the guy who accidentally used arcane lubricant to oil his sword that one time." And the paladin's don't see the wizards as "those fucks who can't stop messing with the fabric of reality."
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>Taking classes on things Man Was Not Meant To Know requires basic abjuration, mid level conjuration, and a smatterign of illusion
>it also requires insurance forms
Taking Classes on Men things Were Not Meant To Know requires triple vetted permissions from the Dean, The Instructor, and two different extrapolate beings
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>>56809349
Please don't humanize the wizards, makes it worse when they inevitably polymorph you into the uni's mascot and send you into a fighting ring against a rival school's PolymorphedPal.
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>>56808037
>Not glitterdust

It would probably look like a shoujo manga when the guy turns around and sparkles.

But with a mangy old wizard.
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>>56806392
I don't know but you damn well better play with Ars Magic as the system.
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this makes me think of a campaign in which i'm a player, where The University has, among others, a door to next week thursday and if you want coffee you grab a cup out of the walls
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Everything goes to 11

Psycho ex girlfriend?
>Literally demon from hell.
Cramming for midterms?
>Time stop spell for extra hours go wrong.
Panty Raid?
>Literal dungeon crawl with panties hidden in a treasute chest.
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>>56806392
>I'm thinking things like collecting bat gauno from dire bats for third years
That is an inefficient system for gathering sulphur but did give rise to the term "Bat shit insane!"
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Don’t forget about the wizards who have to leave early for their Work Release Programs...
Which 6 times out of ten involves babysitting the senior Warriors from Sweat Tech while they dungeon crawl.

They actually spend about 3/4 of their time trying to teach their Warrior how to write their own name so they can sign off on their forms.
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>tfw senior wizard made your locker a pocket dimension modeled after a dick themed dungeon. Again
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>tfw you give a golem runes to the janitor telling him is a cleansing rune
>tfw campus is full of shit golems
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>>56806392
>>56807389
I always thought it'd be cool if the discovery of the "Stop Time" rune was made by a careless student in the middle of class. It created an orb around him down to the waist and around his desk space that has never changed, though his hips and legs have long since been gone. It's fairly easy to deduce what the rune was, and it highly taught to prevent further accidents. They've not figured out how to resume time, so he's still sitting there, his legless body stooped intently over his papers with quill in hand, a grim warning against studying carelessly.
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>>56808418
Not really. Welcome to a world of codenames, one where your fraternity's codename is, "Exploding Dickasses".
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>>56822160
How long has it been since you were a teenager? That would probably just increase recruitment.
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>There's an ongoing campus tradition of telling freshman majoring in Drudaism that you can't unlock your full potential without letting an animal fuck you
>Teachers don't really discourage the rumor mostly because the origin of the rumor is a little more complex
> Professor Roosterbone has been running all of the basic Druid-related classes for a few centuries now. Pretty average looking druid, messy brown beard and friendly to all the kids
>He's been courting Mother Nature, the spiritual power source of most Druid magic for a very very long time
> Every twenty years or so one of his students come into his office to ask about something, and he senses that Mother Nature has placed more of herself than usual in this young adult
>He unwillingly turns into an animal and dry humps the kid, who rightfully freaks the fuck out
>Once he's done, he turns back to normal and explains to the kid that he has a colleague that can help properly train their advanced magic capabilities. He obviously can't because of his condition.
>The other teachers are well aware of this, but Roosterbone's dick acts as a Mother Nature lightning rod, and he's one of the few in the world who can determine who the best druids in the world will be, so they keep this on the DL and send the kids to an oversea eunich to train their powers in a safer, more serene environment.
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>>56823257
This is garbage fetish bullshit.
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>>56806467
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>>56823307
There's going to be a ton of sexy shenanigans at any wizard college.
>full of 18-21 year old men
>full of women that can reshape their bodies with magic
>no restrictions on fraternizing
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>>56823257
I hope you hate yourself half as much as I hate you. That would mean you would be fellating a shotgun right now.
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>>56822326
All I'm saying is it's only a generation away from relatively senior members not knowing how to answer the question "Why are we called Exploding Dickasses?"
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>>56806392
Blowing up the moon for the umpteenth time.
Fending off your own evil clones that have chainsaws.
Convincing new students that going into the storeroom alone is a good idea.
Summoning a greater demon with the protective circle around yourself.
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>>56825226
>implying that wouldn't be handed down to every new initiate
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>>56806392
Enchantment specialists are either widely loathed or the most popular students. No middle ground.
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>>56832626
>Enchantment majors are all Stacies
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>>56807707
>the weird nerdy girl builds a buff, handsome Frankensteinian flesh golem to be her date to the prom
>complete with jumbo dong because she's a pervert
This is doing things for me. Thanks anon.
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>>56807707
>Classes banned from prom
>Necromancers - We've had one too many eyeball left in the punch after your date lost it.
>Enchanters - Turning the dance floor into your personal "clique-war" for who can slip more charm spells into dance movies is frowned upon by janitorial having to repair the building
>Chronomancers - "This night will last forever" is not giving you permission to trap everyone in a time loop.
>Chronomancers v2 - "Dance like it's 19XX" is ALSO not giving you permission to time travel the gymnasium.
>Conjurers - Fae, Lust Demons, and some elementals, while attractive, do not make good dates to a party full of horny teenagers.
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>>56807389
Is it possible to have a hazing at a mage school that goes right?
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>>56840049

There are any number of embarrassing and demeaning magical pranks you can do to haze someone that don't result in lasting harm. Illusion and mind affecting spells to that end abound, and those almost never end up hurting people (directly, anyway).

So smart people haze with illusion or enchantment. (Guess what you spent the last week doing after you failed that will save!)

Smart trolls find a way to haze with abjuration.

Perverts haze with transmutation.

Idiots haze with evocation.

DANGEROUS idiots haze with conjuration or necromancy.
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>drow exchange students




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