A bridge troll wishes to elucidate on the legality of paying a toll to him. >The King's roads aren't free good sir's, they must be maintained and patrolled. I am merely fulfilling a gap best suited to my abilities, namely the coercion of coin from travellers through my intimidating presence. >Do not judge me harshly good sir, I am a cog in the machine of local government, now it is one gold coin per head please pay up if you wish to pass.What does he say to convince you?
>>57962491If we gotta pay to use the bridge where are our taxes going?
Give him our due and go on the way. No reason to get into a fight over a few measly gold pieces.If he's especially trustworthy or kind seeming; give him a bag of extra gold and tell him to take one out for each serf, beggar, or other person too poor to cross the bridge, using that bag to pay for their tolls since they can't afford to cross.
>>57962491I'm actually an agent of the crown, sent to collect the revenues from the various bridgemonsters of the land. Now hurry up and fork over that gold you've been collecting so I can cross this bridge and make it to the next one at a reasonable hour.
>>57962491Sure, if he's being legit.If we find out he was eating babies or something, we come back and smite his shit.
>>57962501The paying of wages for the RoadWardens.The roads and construction office in Fenwick.The repaving of the South Pass after the unfortunate avalanche.>>57962524Oh good day to you sir, is Herbert sick today? I will simply need to see your Roads and Construction official badge to collect this weeks TROLL TOLL.
>>57962491>what does he say to convince youProceeds from this fee are used to improve and maintain local roads and infrastructure. Not a cent goes towards welfare gibs.
>>57962491Can I solve a riddle instead? I like riddles, don't you?
>>57962491Pay the toll if you want the boy's hole.
hey, if he is a duly appointed representative of the crown, I have no issue with paying the toll. and good for him finding a government job.>>57962512this seems fair as well, if I can afford it, I'd do the same.
>>57962491Since I don't negotiate with terrorists. >I prepare hold monster whilst the rest of the party readies fire to burn this creature
>>57962491He says "look, I swear I didn't steal this joke from SMBC, honest".
>>57962491It's around noon, so could I just invite him up to share a meal instead? If he maintains the bridge then surly a good meal and good company would hold the same value as coin?
>>57962491"I normally charge less, but you never paid child support for your son, dad."
>>57962491If the King's roads and King's bridges aren't free then I've already paid. Unless he can show a writ of authority it's my duty as a King's Man to dispatch him and return all he's stolen.
>>57962593It sounds like you're saying "boy's hole".
>>57962491Pay him is due, & then cast magic reinforcing or improving the bridge in some way.Inform the nearest authority of the crown I come across of his presence & double check his creditials. Encourage them to legitimize him if he isn't legitimate already
>>57962491If you maintain the roads where is your mason tools and other tools to work on the road?
It's an evil campaign so we're probably just gonna kill/rob him no matter what he says
>>57962653Don't you also risk burning up the bridge by doing that?
>>57962491Taxation is theft. I prepare to smite evil.
>>57967362If he owns the bridge crossing without paying the toll would be a violation of the NAP.
>>57962524>tfw you're not exempt from taxes and still have to pay the toll
>>57962512Wouldn't the especially poor already avoid these bridges since they know they'd have to pay a toll?
>>57962512>No reason to get into a fight over a few measly gold pieces.It's not about the gold, it's about justice.
>>57962491Have him literally hold up the bridge.Don't pay, fall and get eaten.Kill him, no more bridge.
>>57967476Are road tolls unjust, then?
>>57962491One gold per head? My word, that can't be the rate, can it? That's a day's pay for most folk! Over a week's for the laborers! If these are the taxes we're paying for the bridge, it's a wonder people aren't avoiding this road altogether!
>>57967386But he is in the employ of the crown, which created the bridge by seizing the land from its rightful owners with usurped authority. The presence of this land as being under his de facto control is a violation of the NAP in and of itself.
>>57962653>The local magistrate sends bounty hunters to drag you in front of a court for failure to pay troll
>>57967464I wonder if this is a plot from a local noble to limit his peasant's mobility. If they can't afford to leave to other regions and find more generous lords, he is free to misuse them. I shall have to take this matter to the magistrates. If the roads are a common good, then clearly this toll is too high, depriving the common of full use of that good. Unless there is a pricing schema in place, and the rate is simply for adventuring parties, in which case I'd like to see the schema in question. Maybe if we re-classify ourselves as guards to a merchant, our fee can be reduced.
>>57962653>tfw you try to smite a terrorist but become one yourself as you sow terror by killing a civil servantShame
>>57967692The full charge would be>The murder of a crown agent.>Destruction of government property.>Illegal possession of weapons (can't have peasants running around with swords and flails after all.)>And finally failure to pay the bridge toll.
>>57967748>And finally failure to pay the bridge toll.Actually, failure to pay the bridge TROLL is a separate criminal offense on the books.
One gold piece? That's outrageous! That's well over three months wages for a journeyman, let alone one of the low folk! The magistrate will hear about this!
>>57967842>"Fine, but ye gots ta cross teh bridge. So that'll be one gold..."
>>57967780Would that mean you would have to pay two gold then? One for the troll, one for the bridge? Also>Murder of a tax collector.I'm pretty sure at this point whoever murdered the government troll is getting a death sentence.
>>57967852Bah. Ten pennies, sure. Fifteen even. But a whole gold? Absurd. I'd sooner ford the river
>>57967880Trolls are an endangered species, so it warrants an additional fine.>>57967894>"Well have at it then. Don't say I didn't warn you."
>>57967914Actually, I've got a better idea.
>>57967626Ah, the toll is only for merchants, migrants, and travelers such as yourselves. Local laborers pay a reduced rate. If you are on a religious pilgrimage, you may cross for free after I see your pilgrim visa or equivalent clerical permission.
"Trolls" are actually a magical life form, not unlike Gargoyles, created by the King's Wizards to provide self-move-able bridges that don't rely on Stonemason's Guild. The humble donation required for crossing is to pay for spell ingredients and help keep these lowborn masons' down.If you don't pay, the troll will just stand up and there won't be a bridge for you to cross.
Eat shitt. druid's circle
>>57967941>the troll smiles at you>"Heh, about time."
>>57967988>hope you had an engineer and a contractor look that over>some serious fines you're looking at
>>57967999Church exemption, since it also counts as a form of religious expression.
>>57967954"Migrants"? "Travelers"? What do you mean by that? I'd have accepted the accusation of "adventurer", but cloaking it in 'traveler' carries the whiff of deceit. You should speak to your lord about clarifying the language. "Any man bearing about him arms and armor of chain or better" covers your basic knights and mercenaries, "Any man or woman bearing the implements of the arcane arts, e.g. a wand, stave, staff, robes, glowing sigils of power, etc." covers your magi, sorceresses, and clerics. Though, if I were your lord, I'd look at building in discounts for those bearing instruments, to promote the conduct of bards, who are likely to remember the region well for its generosity, and to liven the days of his peasantry, and perhaps for anyone bearing arms and armor who is pursuing any form of prophesied quest or mission. Those buggers can be very hotheaded if questioned or delayed.
>>57968023Do churches get to ignore OSHA?
>>57962491OH SHIT IT'S A MONSTER KILL IT
>>57962491I find it funny an equal amount of people are antagonistic to this troll, not because he is a monster, but because he is a tax collector.
>>57962575Good enough. Here you go.
Frankly, I would inform him that the Guild of Mages have been contracted to use Wall of Stone spells(taking the extra time to render them permanent) to construct cheap, durable bridges, and that he is now being laid off, effective immediately.
Can I pay Incase style?
>"Why wherever we go there's always some bloody king making us pay some bloody taxes">Looks at the troll and turns to party member>"Hey Wulfrion, we finally found someone more handsome than you">"Anyway, take your goddamned coin and leave us be, beast, we have no time to waste on you"
>>57962491>What does ge say to convince you?YOU GOTTA PAY THE TROLL TOLL
>>57962491I'd question how he got a badge of office, from who, and where.
>>57967335I think you have not grasped the essence of murder hoboism as a life style.
>>57967630> Implying that King isn't the rightful owner of all his landsWhat are you, a commie?
>>57968625Only if you are a female goblin or halfling
Isn't this a thing in the Witcher? I'm fairly sure there's a quest in the second game where the troll that maintained a bridge and collected tolls for the town became depressed because his mate died or went missing so the bridge fell into disrepair but he kept charging tolls.
>>57962491I didn’t vote for no king or trolls under bridges to tax me.
>>57962491>playing L5R>a troll guards a bridge>implying we wouldn't kill the tainted abomination from afarpic related
>>57962593Pretty sure that's an InCase comic
>>57962491>Of course, my good troll. If I'm to cross the bridge, I shall pay you. But do remind me of the laws, do I also have to pay a toll if I'm to cross the airspace over the bridge? For, you see, I recently learned how to fly.
>>57962512>Reginald the Peasant goes to the Troll Bridge >The troll lets him through since a kind adventurer payed money for those too poor to cross>Reginald returns later in the day, with no money>The adventurer's money has been used up>He cannot cross to get home>Reginald gets eaten by the troll
>>57972468"I believe your royal pilot's license covers the airspace. As you are not using the bridge, it is not my jurisdiction."
>>57973491>Reginald really was an idiot, and it's good to get him out of the gene pool.
>>57962491A whole gold coin to cross a bridge is ridiculous
>>57968386would you not be?In all seriousness I'd love to run this encounter past my players but we stopped playing dnd and went to starwars saga edition.
>>57973705This is true, but its also incredibly insignificant to any and all adventurers past their first haul.That's 10 days of labour for a peasant, or 5 days for skilled labour depending on which edition we use. I mean, they're all terrible for actual economies of scale, but its not really the point of dnd to get that shit right. Dungeons and Tax-Law doesn't have the same ring to it y'know?
I piss in his mouth
>>57973826That intelligently speaks to them about taxation supporting the infrastructure of the kingdom and being a duly appointed servant of the crown?At least in <5e dnd I could say he had an int boosting item. A rancor is more a beast, and intelligence beyond that is a mighty stretch.
>>57962491Is he a tax collector because he's a troll, or a troll because he's a tax collector?
>>57962491Not much. After pointing out that the toll is only 3 coppers per head and the river is inconveniently deep and wide, I grumble hand hand over 2 silvers and change. ...What? If we fought we'd probably set the bridge on fire.
>>57967362That's rather chaotic of you.
>>57968077I'm gonna go with yes
>>57962491Is he actually a servant of the crown? If so, we pay him and pass.
>>57967941>The Knights remove their vows and wholesale slaughter the entire peasant revolt.
>>57974680How would you know?
Pay the troll his rightful toll.
>>57976950Have fun starving to death idiot
>>57967362Are you retarded? It’s taxation without representation is tyranny. He’s given you the reason why you’re being tolled, now pay him or fuck off
>>57970117for the most part, yeah trolls in the witcher ain't evil and actually give maintenance to bridgeskings and lords mostly don't give a fuck because the trolls tend not to be abusive and take care of that issue without costing them anything
>>57969659Ya’know, this is really starting to sound like racial profiling
>>57979583He would have papers or a badge of office
>>57970053nah man, the commies want to put him in the gulag
>>57973865Hey, some of the Dathomiri rancor could read, and even write. That's without even being mutated by Sith sorcery!
>>57968023If my religion tells me I can bomb the castle, then does that make it okay?
>>57962491>or else I'll eat youViolence is in it's own way a golden standard
>Bridge troll who appreciates the maintenance of infrastructureOh god my heart.
>>57979695>Implying we won't just use the smart peasants>The ones who didn't revolt
>>57962491Nothing, we are too honorable to be coerced by a troll.
>>57962491Honestly as typical adventurers he had me at "one gold piece".
I get a goat kill him, then later that night feast on scapegoat
>>57962491Nothing! Tax collectors are evil and must be slain!
>>57962491>I could kill everyone of you while regenerate any wound you can possibly inflict me. Taking up your gear would be higly profitable>I cannot live a honest life for a troll do not fit in human society and I have no valuable skill nor the ability to aquire one>Yet I decide to live a life that is a contribution to society, keeping the bridge and scaring off wildlife and bandits.>Therefore I ask you for a small toll to cross the bridge. It's a fair price for the work I do. Don't pay, don't cross. Try to cross without paying and Ill eat you. Seems fair.
>>57962491If you do not have the required paperwork filled out in triplicate then your claims are suspended until such a time as it is completed, including the Lack of Paperwork Forms 3-17 in accordance with subsections 7.3.5, 7.3.8, and your Application for Paperwork forms 62-108 from your local office.
>>57967476https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OsRePNS4pkThe river doesn't look that big.
>>57973491When he approached the bridge he had at least 2 gold pieces if he intended to go by and then return that way. So he just pays one and passes normally.
>>57962501That is one of many taxes that you pay.
>>57967630Did you just assume the ownership? The troll just leases the bridge for common use to the crown.
>>57962491Take the coin and fuck off
>>57973491Maybe the toll is only to leave (or enter, if that's the case) the domain on Reginald's side of the river. There are bridges like that in the modern era.
>>57962491I’m convinced, but will verify with the local Lord when possible.
>>57968625the elven males work pretty well too. as do any of the futas. and normal women.
>>57993644Incase doesn't do futa, he only draws shemales