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File: 1515626823131.jpg (1.55 MB, 4000x3000)
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How the FUCK do you go from making kino to Tommy Wiseau tier shit like this?

>Also, Snowposting
>>
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Are you saying this is bad OP?
>>
>>93119294
Perhaps
>>
reminder people acting like this was wisseu tier are marketers
>>
>implying this isn't the highest tier Nordic kino
I bet your brainlet mind can't even grasp this scene.
>>
>>93119550
In Nordland, the phones charge instantly
>>
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>>93119550
PROTEC DOGGO
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>>93119377
No one marketing this shit anon. Wisseu has no talent, which is charming.

There is tons of talent and its still a fucking mess, which is why we love it.
>>
>>93119885
gib nordic kino
>>
Daily reminder that the killer was basically /tv/
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>>93120078
>>
>>
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>>93119220
>the serial killer is literally a giv mommy gf poster
Kino
>>
Is it wrong that this is one of my favorite movies from last year?

Albeit not as the filmmakers intended
>>
Two top editors could not fix this movie.
>>
>>93120698

>women
>>
>>93120658
Weirdly enough, it grown on me a lot. It makes me appreciate good films more, and there is some weird charm that is wanting to come out.
>>
>tfw saw that webm of Fassbender and his son at the concert
>thought it was supposed to be some kind of Norwegian black metal
>It's literally a guy jumping around yelping like Vitas to techno
>Fassbender and his son literally exchange 3 words before cutting away from the concert, which is never mentioned again
>>
>>93119220
it's just ahead of its time
>>
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>>93120763
Yep
>>
>>
>>93121055
looks fucking delicious
also witnessed
>>
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>>93120994
jesus christ this is so awkward
why is it in a low rent opera stadium
sit down listen to some screaming, relax and enjoy yourself
awkwardly move along and try dancing in the tiny stairway
what the fuck
>>
>>
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>>93119550
This webm never fails to crack me up
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>>93121165
They are norwegian, being akward is part of the deal.
>>
>>93120994
>Norwegian death metal
>0 (zero) churches burnt down
>>
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>>93120698
How could Thelma, who is probably one of the greatest currently working film editors fuck this up so badly?
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>>93120170
Harry is still /our guy/
>>
every once and a while a movie has to come around that is so bad in its genre that everything else glows a little more in its contrast
>>
>>93121498
they literally didn't have enough money to shoot the entire movie, nothing could have salvaged this shit.

Which is a good thing since the movie looks like it's fucking hilarious.
>>
>>93121502
fucking The Great Beauty had better-looking CGI animals
>>
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>>93121498
They ran out of money, and she had to make 100% of a film with 70% of it shot.

To her credit she made it about 90% a film.

Also, should I keep this as is, or just the dog
>>
>>93121502
oh god, that fucking snowman
>>
Is this one of those legendary european kinos that pseuds love talking about?
>>
>>93121787
Only Legendary in the sense of the greatest amount of talent wasted in a film.
>>
>>93119220
I think I got underhyped.
It made some absolutely fucking retarded decisions and was vague thanks to the director forgetting to shoot 10-20% of the movie, but I ultimately hated it less than TLJ. It was very pretty when it wanted to be.
>>
>>93119746
That phone didn't just almost frame that girl's dad. It outright incriminated his ass. Hell, I was still convinced he did it because there was no other way, narrative be damned.
>>
>>93121691
I loved how this dog existed strictly to be a continuity error and was never seen again.
>>
>>93119885
>no one is marketing
>op is clearly marketing, trying to make a plain bad movie into the next big cult so-bad-its-good meme movie

hundreds of worse movies come out every year
>>
>>93120733
>one got an academy award for Constant Gardener
>other worked for Scorsese for 40 years
They're good at what they do.
>>
>>93122241
>It was very pretty when it wanted to be.
I think that the charm of it and why we keep coming back. There is real talent involved.

>>93122335
Think I saw the dog once more, will make a screencap or something.

>Making greyscale and speia webms to see if it looks better.
>>
>>93122335
one other time
>>
>>93122433
Name one worse movie than The Snowman that got released in cinemas in 2017.
>>
>>93122677
Damn, I was too busy laughing at the fact that Hairy Hole didn't put 2 and 2 together right away and the killer sauntered past the exterminator.
>>
>>93122677
Wait, isn't that Harry's dog?
>>
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>"We need a guy to play a crooked politician strictly to give the main character's sidekick a reason to go off on her own and die."
>"Already called him, but he'll only do it if an actress shows tits in a scene; he didn't care who."
>>
>>93122612
Now I have a silly idea.

>Find Norwegian audio
>covert to greyscale
>add US subtitles
make it into a odder bad kino
>>
>>93122792
Apparently it was the exterminator's dog. Either that or there was a scene the director forgot to film where he steals Harry's dog.
>>
>>93122895
Why would an exterminator bring a dog to an apartment he works on? One that is supposedly toxic? What the fuck is wrong with Norway?
>>
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>>93121502
>every fucking scene with Val Kilmer
Did his VA even get credit?
>>
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>>93122966
>>
Thread theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK3ZP6frAMc
>>
>>93122433
congratulations you figured out our scheme, gives us your address and we will mail you an actress of your choosing and 50 millium dollos
>>
>>93122887
Okay, sadly it was never dubbed to a scandi lanaguage
>>
>>93121393
Even in context this is just hilarious. I get that she was killing herself, but he actually kept in a shot where she was starting to crack up.
>>
>>93123338
Yep, the filming must of had huge issues for this to be the best take.
>>
>>93120994
he got that slav head nod down fucking pat
>>
same director of let the right one in and tinker tailor soldier spy. how the fuck did this happen?
>>
first for best girl
>>
>>93123627
2spooky spoiler plz
>>
>>93123580
That the joy of these threads, to figure out how the hell it happened
>>
I was hoping this was about a dangerous snowman
It is not.
>>
>>93123627
Does anyone know whats up with the windows in bedrooms that are inside the house?
>>
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>>93123782
>>
By any chance someone has a webm or short clip of the concert scene with sound? Want to show it to a norwegian friend and ask what the fuck norway
>>
>need a ride?
how do you respond
>>
>>93123878
nah i have tv shows to catch up on
>>
>>93119294
oh my fucking god
>>
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>>93119550
I need to watch this fucking movie. Downloading it right now, holy shit
>>
I've literally watched The Snowman and The Room today and The Room is much more entertaining.

The story of hairy hole is just not engaging.
>>
>>93121498
>>93121498
They only shot three quarters of the script.

Which seems weird to me. Surely Alfredsson and Fassbender are pretty big heavyweights, and they could get the money together to finish the film? Or do they just want to forget all about it and move on
>>
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>>93119550
>>93122677
So whose dog's is it?
>>
*POPCORN STARTS PLAYING*
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>>93121165
THis is how Norweigans have fun
>>
>>93123782
>>93123831
Windows felt like a huge theme with The Snowman, like the director or screenwriter was trying to push them into any scene.
I guess it was a nod to the killer's stalking nature, and a callback to when he saw that cop roll off his mom.
>>
>>93124375
Best killer dancing scene since American Psycho?
>>
>>93123548
I'd call forgetting to film 10 to 20% of the movie a pretty huge issue.
>>
>>93123861
I can make it easily enough, give me a second.
>>
>>93123861
In Norway they've only heard about Death Grips, just the general premise of their music not the music itself but they like it very much.
>>
>>93123861
>>>/wsg/2058888
>>
>>93124984
at 0:18 the singer literally disappears
>>
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>>93125157
holy shit
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>>93125157
Jesus Christ
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>>93125157
Holy shit
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>>93124984
>That vaporwave tier music and the autistic screaming
>>
>>93125157
>you got a message!
says the kid without moving or even opening his mouth
>let me see what it says
says fassy while making the "i need to use the phone" hand sign
>kid takes phone out of pocket
if he felt the vibration for message, how did he know it was for harry? or why did he have harry's phone in his pocket
>i gotta make a call
says harry without even turning on the phone so he hasn't seen the message or who is it from
then harry motions in a "brb" way, but the kid is like "fuck no, i'm leaving too, this music is too norwegian for me"

10 seconds of pure comedy gold
>>
>>93120994
>0:06
>me on the left
>>
Shall I continue making the Norwegian subbed B&W version of the snowman (Teleportasjonsfilmen - The Teleportation movie)
>>
>>93125157
What the ever loving fuck
>>
>>93125325
Don't forget
>Harry says 'er ... let's find out' in a weird high pitched voice
>cut away before he's finished the line
>says 'someone at work got me the tickets' in a normal voice
>cut away before he's finished that line too
>>
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>>93125370
Some people are already leaving

>>93125325
There's a "urgent message for harry" quick cut before the conversation, but it's clearly not happening at the concert. And the phone says it's 19:03. The concert ticket says "doors open at 6:30" and I've never been to any concert where doors open a mere 30 mins before the show begins. Concert should be at 8 pm at the earliest.

I can almost hear a voice behind me saying "forget it, anon: it's norway"
>>
>>93125553
Still keking
>>
>>93125634
>has his pistol next to The Sex Pistols
>>
>>93125634
>sex pistols
>grabs a pistol
>>
>>93125634
"Nevermind The Bollocks" was probably the movie's working title
>>
>>93125805
kek
>>
Alright I'm doing it. I'm pirating a 720p rip and watching this tonight.
>>
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>>93125881
sweet
>>
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>>93125805
>>
>>93125942
What the fuck?
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>>93125805
suddenly get the comment

kek
>>
>>93126263
Even better, that guy's obviously the snowman.
>>
>>93119220
>mfw watching a copy with desynced audio
>>
>director of Let the right one in
what the FUCK happened?
>>
>>93126371
kek

>I am going to complete making the B&W with norge titles for humor sake.

>>93126263
Better yet, everyone but harry knows that the snowman
>>
I'm so glad I wasn't the only person who watched this and got confused. I stopped watching halfway through, but I'm going to finish it now.
>>
>>93126784
Yeah, it's an unmitigated disaster. You have to watch it with that mindset.
>>
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I'M GOING IN
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>>93126784
I watched it without much problem, but I really only saw the major structural problems and the most obvious editing goofs and I thought "well, this is messy, but it isn't THAT bad." But over the past week or so the movie has been dissected on threads like this and I'm seeing all the little things I missed that do kinda elevate it into unintentional comedy territory
>>
>>93125325
This is borderline experimental.
>>
>>93119550
what the fuck is happening in this webm
>>
>>93126884
I personally find the snowmen and the random teleports and Val kilmer stuff to be the most entertaining stuff.
>>
>>93127094
knife teleport
>>
>>93127075
Exterminator shows up to inspect Harry's black mold and apparently brings his puppy with him for the sake of pointing out continuity errors I guess.
Harry Hole comes home from sleeping off a drunk in some shed.
He comes home and hears noise, pulling his gun.
He fires off a couple of shots toward the exterminator when he gets startled.
Exterminator barely hears him, takes off his mask and starts telling him about his black mold problem.
Puppy teleports in the middle of the gunfire.
That's about it.
>>
>>93119550
>that editing
>fassbender's face
>doggo reaction
ohnononono
>>
>>93124519
LOL
>>
>>93127201
k im going to watch this fucking movie now
>>
Did she die?
I assume yes, but with the horrid editing...
>>
>>93121502
>that CGI
>>
>>93127472
Yeah, she's dead. Her finger stump didn't scab over and there's no more blood loss.
The real question is how the fuck did The Snowman break into a politician's suite,
kill her, and then drag her out in the middle of a huge get-together?
>>
still havent seen this movie because i wanted to read the book first, turns out its like book fucking 8 in the series, so far the books have been decent. red breast is a decent crime novel.
>>
>>93124984
Fucking kek
>>
>>93124298
I actually believe you, even though I haven't watched The Snowman yet
>>
>>93125393
Yes. It's kino
>>
>>93127707
Why didn't she get mutilated then? Why didn't they have Fass check her pulse to at least clear something up in this horrid movie?
>>
>>93119294
Good thing it blew off perfectly symmetrical for his snow skull.
>>
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>>93119294
whats this
>>
>>93128026
As for your first question, all the Snowman needed was her fingerprint so he could access her tablet and delete her findings, and probably didn't want to be in the hotel for long.
Your second question is likely because the director forgot to film that moment.
>>
>>93126870
report back when you're finished
>>
>>93128217
Doom II
>>
>>93119336
Is that a loli jumpscare?
>>
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;_;
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>>93127997
70% done processing
>>
>>93128724
Yes lol
>>
>>93120502
Who cut the hole in the ice? Also, that ice looks fake as shit.
>>
>>93129026
Its another case of teleportation.

That my story and I am stickign to it.
>>
>>93128372
>director forgot to film that moment.
I still don't get how you can complete filming and forget to film scenes.
>>
>>93129128
No idea.
My guess is that he was strapped for time. He didn't even have time to prep preproduction when he got his budget money and was told to get started.
He may also have just said "fuck it, that's a wrap" because he wasn't liking his product.
>>
>>93123548
Rebecca Ferguson is very cute you guys
>>
What triggers me the most about this movie as a Norwegian is that the geography doesn't make any sense. For example, they're shown driving the "Atlantic Road" several times, even though it's nowhere near where the movie is supposed to take place.
>>
>>93128774
I love how every one of this guy's snowmen would make good brainlet pics.
>>
>>93129128
Cocaine?
>>
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>>93129298
very
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>>93129318
Yeah, I also think some of the railroads are wrong.

I think in a interview he said he didn't care as the US wouldn't know.
>>
>>93129517
>thighhighs
YES
>immediately takes them off
NO
>>
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I'm less perplexed about the hole in the ice at the end (happens sometimes when parts of the ice get weak)

I'm more perplexed by how Harry Hole didn't see the killer who was obviously standing a mere 20 feet away from him on the ice too. He literally walks right into frame and shoots Harry in the back when he turns around. Even though Harry was facing that direction not even half a second ago
>>
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>>93129577
They teleport back on later.
>>
>>93129613
There is absolutely, positively nowhere to hide out on a frozen lake. You can see everything around you for miles. Unless the killer was crouching behind an icy whisp of fog
>>
Why the fuck did he even run onto the lake?
>>
>>93129517
She also has sneaky big tits
>>
>>93130005
She does, saw them in ..white q ueen I think.

Any webm reqests? be it the normal one or the B&W with Norwegian subbed version?
>>
>>93125157
Magical vaninshing light show and singer.
>>
>>93119294
This has to be a workprint.
>>
File deleted.
>>93130209
Final product
>>
What was the purpose of this scene?
What was the purpose of JK Simmon's character?
>>
>>93127094
Okay, I know some faggots in here are defending the editors of this mess, but what in the fuck is the point in the jump cut with the knife at 0:03?
>>
>>93130385
to rip off the shining?
>>
>>93130385
This had to be a major part that was cut. Perhaps making people think it was the evil industralist who degrades women was the killer like it was a Stieg Larsson novel?
>>
>>93130385
Also, to show boobs

>>93130409
I have no fucking clue

There is two jump cuts in that simple scene, no reason for it unless they didn't have a good take.
>>
>>93119294
no way
>>
>>93130535
Let's not forget the film starts off with horrendous editing right out of the gate. Inside the house at the beginning there are several quick shots in succession that feel like they last 1 second each. It was very jarring and pretty much right from then I struggled to comprehend what was actually going on
>>
>>93130613
True, I get the sense due to the editors involved that they did the best that the garbage shots they had to make something work.

>Its actually comfy in greyscale.
>>
>>93127094
Val Kilmer climbing out the window was the point where I started enjoying the movie for how much of a trainwreck it was.
>>
>>93130862
>medium to medium
oh god what
>>
>>93130864
I think when they had a nice build up of Val kilmer going up to the top of the mountain, and then totally fucking it up, was the point where I was enjoying the wreck.
>>
>>93131020
>medium to medium
???
>>
>>93123548
Cute
>>
>>93131159
It goes from a near identical shot to a near identical shot. It looks like garbage.
>>
>>93130862
Just had to keep reminding myself "the plot is simple, the plot is simple, it's not that complicated"

But what made it so hard was that even though you got the basic plot elements, how they were connected to one another was a complete mystery lost in the shooting/editing of the film. Thinking back, Fassbender did little to no actual police or detective work to advance the plot. He would go to the library, or stare at something for a long time and then BOOM he just showed up to the next scene like he already knew where to go all along, leaving the audience constantly one scene behind. When important scenes were over i just had to guess what happened and put the pieces back together

It was so bizarre.
>>
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>>93131176
It actually my desktop
>>
>>93131247
yeah, and they go from the farmhouse where the twin died to Oslo in a huge jump, without saying why.
>>93131214
Gotcha
>>
>>93131516
What the fuck was she hoping to accomplish in this scene
>>
fassbender has no talent for picking roles
>>
I just assumed this is what Norway is all about.
>>
>>93131129
You forgot to translate 'solid alibi'

Also is the way he cut up that sausage supposed to mirror the way the killer cut up the corpse? What the fuck?
>>
Another thing all you non-Norwegian miss out on is the absolute cringe every time they say a Norwegian name in English. I'm sure it still sounds kinda silly, but you have no idea how silly it sounds for us.
>>
>>93124298
LIESSSSSSSS
>>
>>93131665
Took me a while (and a few viewings) to get a decent guess.

>Her dad was Val Kilmer
>He died researching a missing woman case
>the industrialist was the main suspect (he had knocked the woman and she had a abortion IIRC)
>she decided to entrap the industrialist
>gets killed, but not chopped up.

At least that my theory.
>>
>>93131816
I just grabbed some subtitles online. wasn't going to figure it out in Norwegian, as the (Bad) norwegian I know might not even been the offical Norwegian, as there two major writing styles and bunch of local variations.

I do not know what the word is in norwegian, and google says it solid alibi

>>93131835
I do cringe at Hole being called "Hole" instead of Hol-le or even "Holy" which is what it would sound like to english speakers.

Not sure about the other names being mangled.
>>
>>93127932
The Snowman is really just depressing when you consider all the talented people who made it, the solid source material and comfy location. It should have been a suspenseful detective thriller, but it fails to have any thrills at all, and there's never any sense of mystery about who the killer might be. It's just a poorly edited and convoluted mess.
>>
Webmanon here.

Night all
>>
>>93131988
I really can't get over how cute Rebecca is. She looks great with that hair
>>
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>>93125157
>i dont get it, he's in frame and then out of frame. It's movie magic!

what is camera pan for 1000 alex
>>
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>>93127094

literally giv mommy gf
>>
>>93132363
Its a cut, not a camera pan. look at the frames.
>>
>>93132363
Its obviously a cut you retard. His whole body is in the frame when he disappears, the camera hadn't even zoomed completely away from him yet

And yeah, it's a zoom, not a pan. Idiot
>>
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>>93132363
>>93132574
that not a pan or zoom.
>>
>>93130864
>>
>>93131988
>>93132301
BTW, I webmed the movie a lot by now, but I saved the thread and I will make any requests made this weekend. Just let me know what you want and if you want in B&W or colour
>>
>>93132319
The bangs make her cuter instead of stunning hot, which makes her more appealing as she more approachable.
>>
>>93132872
She isn't stunning hot to begin with. She's just incredibly cute. But her hair in Snowman makes her wife tier
>>
This movie really makes me appreciate good/coherent editing even in awful movies like Tom Cruise Mummy or something
>>
>>93131696
Because he doesn't pick them
>>
>>93129555
is that a random shot of the bridge in lillehammer, then a completly different location?
>>
>>93119294
if David Lynch did this you all would praise it
>>
>>93133867
At least it fits Lynch's absurd style
>>
>>93120078
underrated
>>
>>93120078
Kek




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