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What if Seinfeld was made today????
>>
>Jerry is dating an antifa member
>Kramer and Newman create Uber for people without phones
>Elaines iCloud gets hacked by a Korean kid in her building
>George's co-workers think he's an incel
>>
Newman delivers for Amazon obviously
>>
Only one episode. Jerry gets accused of raping a woman in 1993. At the end he kills her and himself while the ghosts of Louis CK and bill Cosby egg him on
>>
>>98636237
>George's co-workers think he's an incel
kek
>>
>>98635989
Kramer is a diagnosed aspie.
>>
jery get ipad
>>
>>98636237
Pretty good anon
>>
>>98636315
Amazon just uses usps you tool
>>
>>98636237
>Kramer and Newman create Uber for people without phones
I want to see this.
>>
Kramer gets fired from his uber job and starts his own taxi company and persuades George to drive for him
Jerry and Elaine are out getting a meal
something something something
they all end up in the same cab by the end of the episode and kramer cuts the breaks to make the car go faster so they have to bail and the car crashes
>>
>>98637054
it's called a taxicab office
>>
>>98635989
>>
>>98637095
the joke

your head
>>
>Kramer starts bitcoin mining
>>
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>>98637095
>>
George gets publicly shamed for misgendering someone
>>
It would still be shit
>>
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>Kramer talks about some new show he's watching
>Jerry gets a letter from his ISP telling him to stop torrenting and seeding
>letter names that show
>Jerry tries to figure out how to confront him
>turns out it was Newman all along
>>
Jerry and Kramer get some new neighbours on their floor, and Kramer suspects that they're federal agents spying on him. (Guest Starring: David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson)
>>
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>>98636892
>>
Jerry's favourite sci fi show gets cancelled and the story is left unfinished without closure, so Kramer, Elaine, Newman and George band together to make their own finale to the show to cheer up Jerry.
>>
Jerry has to give Kramer another chance at an apology after he bungles his way through a Laugh Factory set. The craziest thing about it is he isn't even racist.
>>
I'm so glad that Jerry decided to end the show. It would have eventually got really bad and tarnished it's legacy.
>>
Jerry get iPad
>>
>Jerry gets addicted to facebook but can't seem to get more likes than Kenny Bania
>George dates a woman who goes through his safari history
>Elaine becomes a hardcore feminist to try and impress a millennial guy she wants to bang only to find out she hates the movement
>Kramer goes around yelling nigger in the streets
>>
>election day episode
>George is dating really hot Trump supporter
>She'll break up with him if he votes for Hillary
>Jerry: how would she know?
>George: Ivan! her creepy Russian friend would tell her!
>Jerry: how would Ivan know?
>George: OH HE HAS WAYS JERRY
>>
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>name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy
Dennis?
>>
>>98637686
bagina :DD
>>
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>>98637649
fucking kek'd
>>
>>98637044
Still makes sense.
>>
>>98637044
they hire individual drivers too in urban areas.
>>
>>98637686
>my mom asked me what body part rhymed with Dolores after seeing this episode
>>
>>98637899
I still don't understand what it's supposed to rhyme with. Someone once said clitoris but that's obviously not it since they don't rhyme.
>>
>>98637899
Sex education in America is a nightmare. Grown women don't know what a clitoris is baka. I was in a college biology lecture and a girl asked what a clit was.
>>
>>98638058
Should’ve said you’d show her after class.
>>
>>98638028
the clit, bruh
>>
>>98637504
Sounds more like a Community episode
>>
>>98638611
>>98637504
They do it in 30 rock with Night Court to cheer up Kenneth
>>
>>98638492
how the heck does clitoris rhyme with dolores

do new yorkers pronounce clitoris as cli-TO-ress?
>>
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>newman and kramer get brainwashed into becoming isis terrorists
>jerry gets addicted to candycrush
>elaine gets cancer
>george tries internet dating
>>
>Kramer starts a twitch streaming channel
>>
>>98638028
>>98638777
>the absolute state of amerilard brainlets
>>
>>98639020
it actually doesn't rhyme though
>>
>>98636973
gerge get iphone
>>
>George accidentally sends a dick pic to his boss
>His boss sends one back
>>
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>>98640849
>gerge
>>
>>98641337
>Hers is bigger
>>
>>98641337
>His boss is a female
>>
>>98635989
There is a twitter about that, pretty hilarious at times. Been inactive for a while I think.
>>
>>98636237
I dig this.
>>
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>>98638058
>clitoris

OH. I-I knew that.
>>
>show imploded years ago because Kramer said a bad word
>>
>>98639011
>Jerry and George walking down the street
>hear some kids on their phones repeat "giddyup!"
>>
>>98642879
You'd be forgiven because those words don't rhyme.
>>
>Jerry is late for the feminist march that Elaine is attending and calls an Uber
>Kramer shows up as the Uber driver with Jerry's car
>>
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>>98643044
Legitimate lol
>>
>Jerry finds out Kramer rents his apartment on Airbnb when he come back early from a tour and finds a complete stranger in his apartment, Jerry then begins dating her
>Jerry books an Uber and is picked up by Kramer driving his car
>Kramer gets an emotional support emu
>>
>>98637686
mulva?
>>
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>>98637649
>>
This and Vince Vaughn true detective meme are the best products of /tv/. Some of these are legitimately great episode ideas.
>>
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Obligatory Kramer gets into crypto episode.
>>
>george buys the old car of donald trump, he's showing off to girls, but it turns out it's actually the car of donald trump jr.
>>
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PLOTHOLE? I am rewatching the series for the hundreth time and I still don't get the plot points of the episode The Tape. Elaine leaves the sexy message and the guys all fall for her. Jerry goes out on a date with a woman he thinks left the message. Did Elaine set it up and surely Jerry would have mentioned the tape?
>>
>>98643044
>Hey are you Jerry?
>Kramer? YOU'RE my Uber driver?
>Yeah buddy hop in
>Wait a minute. That's my CAR!
>>
>>98635989
Jery get ipad
>>
Kramer getting harassed by anonymous. Episodes ends in an alley with him getting beat up by 12 year olds
>>
George pretends to be disabled for perks like free wheelchair access at the airport, but then somebody makes him a very successful gofundme page and he has to maintain the illusion.
>>
There's enough material for a new season in this thread. Still the funniest sitcom ever.
>>
Elaine starts dating Elon Musk
>>
>>98643857
It is already an episode
>>
>>98636465
Didn't he date a 17-year-old?
>>
>>98643953
Kramer takes advantage of the situation to borrow Musk’s Tesla and uses autopilot to read and spongebathe while driving, blaming Musk when he crashes.
>>
George: "I don't get it. This girl has been faving all of my tweets so I think she's interested, I DM her to hang out, and she doesn't respond!"

Elaine: "ah she's a liker"

Jerry: "a liker?"

Elaine: "a girl who likes every post no matter what"

George: "don't these women know what a like means?"

Jerry: "that they liked it?"

George: "no! That they like me!"

*Kramer enters with Bluetooth headsets in both ears
>>
>liberal jews
>makes money for Steve bannon
/pol/ eh I mean /tv/ would constantly argue about it
>>
>>98637504
thats not even close to the type of plot that would occur on seinfeld you fucking nigger
>>
>>98644164
maybe it wasn't in the 90s or w/e but it's 2018 now
>>
Elaine gets banned from Tinder.
George lies to a woman about being a 9/11 survivor but she repeats his story to everybody.
Kramer starts using a hoverboard to go everywhere instead of walking. “It’s the way of the future jerry!” Eventually an elevator isn’t working and he gets wrecked trying to ride it down the stairs.
>>
>>98637686
Clair
Hair
>>
George puts on a play to impress a waitress at the coffee shop. Jerry explains his method of picking up women, the J.E.R.R.Y System. Elaine dates a rapper who might be retarded
>>
Kramer catfishes himself
>>
>>98637044

Amazon Prime Now uses drivers.
>>
>>98644188
Kill yourself
>>
Jerry watches Man of Steel and kills himself
>>
>>98635989
Oh man, can you imagine? Hahahaha, crazy. If it was made...today? Where you come up with these crazy ideas?
>>
Kramer starts catfishing guys but feels sympathetic to one of the guys he's talking to and convinces Elaine to go out with him. Elaine doesn't like him but Kramer keeps agreeing to go on another date with him, forcing Elaine to go back out with him.
>>
jery get ipad
>>
>>98644350
They find out her boyfriend is just a soundcloud rapper
>>
>>98644378
Fuck me this is gold.
>>
>>98644460
this is actually gold
>>
>>98644350
You stole that from it’s always sunny you nigger
>>
>>98644462
jorge play fortnite
>>
>>98637637
>Kenny Bania reposts Jerry's jokes and gets more likes
>>
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Elaine starts a twitch stream for easy money but becomes a twitch slut in a desperate bid for tips
>>
Kremer get Oculus rift
>>
>>98644846
Eventually she gets banned when they see that Kramer is actually the one playing the games off-camera
>>
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>>98638777
pls put how you pronounce it on vocaroo
>>
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>Kramer eats Airpods
>Discovers new way of enjoying music internally
>>
>>98637504
>The characters of Seinfeld working in harmony to bring someone else joy
Have you watched a single episode?
>>
>>98645227
I didn't say that they were successful at it
it was implicit that they'd fuck it up and make jerry hate the show that he'd once loved
>>
Kramer becomes a popular youtuber until he gets banned for streaming in the shower.
After George jokes about guns, he finds out his coworkers are being so nice to him because they think he’s a potential mass shooter.
>>
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>>98643513
Shit still cracks me up
>>
>>98636973
>>98637634
>>98643813
>>98644462
BASED
>>
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George becomes obsessed with getting Reddit Gold.
>>
>>98644235
Someone actually wrote an episode on the idea of how they would react the week after 9/11. It was actually pretty funny and it played out like an episode would.
>>
>>98635989
Every 3rd episode would be about memes. One episode would be them talking in nothing but memes and nothing else. They'd all be millennials..
>>
>>98646581
Link? It sounds interesting
>>
>>98646581
>It was actually pretty reddit
>>
>>98646631
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B50l484pDaMobXI2Wk5CX0NMbkU/view
>>
Jerry gets kicked out of a college for his stand up being too politically incorrect.
>>
Kramer and Newman make up a fake restaurant to resell food on Uber Eats.
George secretly outsources his work to a guy online in India temporarily, who ends up doing much better work that he can’t replicate.
Jerry gets into an argument with his new girlfriend for viewing all her snaps but not replying to them.
>>
>>98643785
Mention the tape to who, the girl he's dating? Also. Doesn't she turn out to be a phone sex girl that Kramer recognizes?
>>
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>>98645842
>implying based George would ever go on reddit and he wouldn't spend all day shitposting on 4chan with the bros
>>
>>98635989
It was, it's called the Big Bang Theory
>>
>>98643808
>I don'the own a car Jerry. Do you expect me to Uber people in a horse and carriage or rickshaw?
>>
>>98644444
Fucking waste of quints and a waste of life.
>>
Jerry get iPad.
>>
>>98647052
George would get IP banned for posting futa in /po/
>>
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>>98647329
It's a FEMININE penis, Jerry. FEMININE. They're women! The future is now Jerry!
>>
>>98647522
A renewal would be entirely validated just to hear Jason Alexander and Jerry debate whether or not traps are gay.
>They're GAY George! Not that there's anything wrong with that.
>>
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>>98647522
>>98647614
>>
>>98643857
that was the christmas episode
>>
>>98647522
that sounds more like something Kramer would say
>>
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>>98644444
>>
>>98638976
>elaine gets cancer
anon no...
>>
>>98647997
Maybe you're right. But even though he was a nut I always assumed The Chad Kramer was always slaying mad pussy left and right, and I just assume The Virgin George would be the uptight closet case beating his meat to qt traps
>>
>>98637504
More like

>Jerry, George, and Kramer are huge fans of a new series
>They make sure to watch it every week,
>Elaine has never seen it and has no idea what is going on
>All of her coworkers are super fans of it too and talk about it, ostracizing her in the office
>While out with Jerry and George one night they run into one of the stars of the show, they are filming a new episode in NY
>Elaine goes on two dates with him
>She fucks him up some way
>Actor gets into an accident and is hospitalized, the show is cancelled
>Tabloids claim a mystery woman did it, everyone in Elaine's office learns it was someone that works there.
>>
>>98635989

Main characters would be blackwashed.
>>
>>98648966
OBSESSED
>>
>>98649021

Why do you hate the truth?
>>
>>98648887
Nice
>>
>>98636237
>>George's co-workers think he's an incel
That's my nightmare
It's getting to be where being a weirdo is illegal
But I guess that's how muslims feel after terrorist bombings
>>
>>98637114
How is it this show so easy to write for?
>>
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>>98636237
>elaine nudes on her icloud
>>
>jerry dates a passable trap
>kramer says "traps are gay"
>jerry has existential crisis
>consults george in diner
>george says "how feminine is the penis?"
>>
>>98649316
>"Feminine?"
>"Yeah... you know..."
>"... ... no."
>"You see what George is trying to say is that he packs fudge."
>"I do n... NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! NO!"
>"He likes them exotic Jerry, EXOTIC!"
>"Hey yeah, exotic, I'm an exotic guy with refined tastes! That's who George is, yeah!"
>"Do you guys think this Instagram filter makes me look bloated?"
>All: "yes"
>>
>>98644460
Would watch
>>
>>98644460
Turns out Elaine really ends up liking him, but in the end he thinks she's too clingy and the internet thing is too weird.

And then "catfisted" is mentioned somewhere.
>>
>elaine finds out puddy posts on /pol/
>confronts him
>"david... do you... like... donald trump?"
>he says "yeah. i do. problem?"
>she goes on diatribe about "grab her by the pussy" thing and cheeto skin
>he says "so i guess you worship moloch then?"
>she says "what are you talking about?"
>"covfefe"
>"covfefe"?
>"elaine, chemicals in the water are turning frogs gay"
>"david... ugh, that is just a stupid 4chan meme!
>"you have to go back."
>
>>
>>98649792
ebbin
>>
>>98649792
They argue over it and then have angry sex and decide to stay together, only for some petty shit to break them up.
>You put ketchup on your eggs? Are you INSANE?
>>
>george supports bernie sanders, hoping for free basic income
>"feel the bern, jerry, feel the bern!"
>kramer comes into jerry's apartment juggling on a unicycle and says gary johnson will beat everyone easily, he has ideas
>everyone realizes jerry hasn't said who he's voting for
>all eyes on jerry
>he's evasive
>they pressure him
>[internal tension]
>"ALLLLRIIIIIGHT. you wanna know who i'm voting for? i'll tell ya who i'm voting for - donald j trump!"
>elaine is aghast
>"but jerrrrrrrryyyyyyyy whyy"
>"china is ripping us off in trade."
>>
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>>98645842
George becomes obsessed with 4chan gold.
>>
I feel like it's important to point out how little of Seinfeld was political. Sure it had a few jokes but for the most part, characters never discussed politics. The only time I can remember it happening was when Elaine broke up with a guy for opposing roe v Wade.
>>
>>98650156
i can see this
>>
>>98650209
Yeah, even religion was discussed more and even that was sparingly too.
>>
>elaine has a tinder
>jerry makes shitty Instagram video because “muh comedy”
>kramer and newman constantly go “live” and get into serious shit
>george is a sugar daddy
>>
>kramer smokes dmt
>starts browsing /x/
>thinks he's being gangstalked
>tries to convince jerry
>"did you click the link?"
>"kramer, i'm not clicking any links to 4ch-"
>"how abou-"
>"or abovetopsecret"
>"oh come on jerry, don't you get it? they know"
>"they know what?"
>"that i've almost beat the demiurge"
they change the subject
>"so it's the anniversary of 9/11 soon, i still can't believe that happened here..."
>kramer says "what happened?"
>"9/11, you know, planes into buildings...?"
>kramer says "you actually believe that? jerry, come on. they were holograms! no one even died, yeah i saw a documentary on it on youtube."
>>
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>>98650566
>muh comedy
I honestly always forget that is supposed to be his job
>>
>>98649188
the muslims deserve it, though
and so do you
>>
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>>98646760
That was impressive
>>
>>98650776
It's really not
>>
>>98650657
Bit edgy for Seinfeld but if anyone is gonna fall down the conspiracy hole its Kramer. I think it would be funnier and more in line with the show if it was even more nonsensical and mundane.
>Jerry I'm telling you! Stop signs in New York are a quarter tone darker than the ones in new jersey! You know what this means?
>That you have too much time on your hands?
>The city council is run by lizard people who are afraid of the regular color! It all makes perfect sense!
>>
>>98647034
>Doesn't she turn out to be a phone sex girl that Kramer recognizes
That's from the episode The Stall.
>>
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>>98649792
this is perfect
>>
>>98637151
>>98637163
>I wuz merely pretending!
LMAO
>>
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>>98650999
>>
>>98649792
I just want to have a soundbite of Warburton saying "You have to go back."
>>
>>98649190
because it's real
>>
>>98636237
>>98637161
>>98637250
>>98637637
>>98637649

All great plots
>>98637899
Protip: When mothers ask these questions, they're fucking with you

>tfw your mom asks you what a MILF is
>>
>>98646760
Really read like a Seinfeld episode, good on that anon
>>
>>98644708
you ruined it
>>
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>>98644037
>Kramer enters with Bluetooth headsets in both ears
Fucking legit kek haha
>>
George plays video games online and gets bullied by a bunch of kids with mics so he gets training in handling heckling from Jerry only to find out it was Kramer and Newman the whole time.
>>
>Kramer and Newman make a self-help podcast in Jerry's apartment, Jerry points out Newman is a postal worker and Kramer has no job and the only self help he knows is helping himself to Jerry's food
>George hires a life coach to help him out in life but the life coach develops a crush on Elaine and ignores George to date her
>>
>George starts getting advice from /r9k/ and no longer needs to talk to Jerry about his problems.
>Jerry attempts to infiltrate 4chan culture and ends up scarred from /b/ rekt threads
>Elaine tries to help him but gets spammed with "tits or gtfo"
>Kramer becomes a janitor
>>
>>98646760
>You know he was always talking about how evil America was? Eventually I told him, "Why don't you do something about it?" I thought he'd write to his Congressman!
kek
>>
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>Kramer becomes obsessed with Skinwalkers that he thinks live in Central Park
>George gets lessons for a concealed carry gun permit, goes full tacticool
>Jerry becomes obsessed with making memes, non of which are funny or get popular
>Elaine makes one meme that goes viral
>>
>>98653342
>CC permit in NYC
Better chance of getting hit by a meteor in that shithole.
>>
>J Peterman is a molesty boss a la Harvey Weinstein
>Elaine is pissed he has never tried to molest her
>>
>George, nervous after seeing Hollywood eat itself because of #metoo sets out to contact every old girlfriend to record them saying it was consensual so he doesn't get in trouble

>Kramer opens his apartment to refugees in the attempt to open his own bazaar
>>
>>98644188
fuk off
>>
>>98638777
It really is kind of a stupid gag because it's predicated on a pronunciation that, at least in my experience, you don't hear much. With like a hard t and o like a hard "ore".

Clit-tor-us instead of "cliter-us". Former is more common in British accented language afaik.
>>
>tfw the 9/11 script will never be made into an episode
>>
>>98645504
Hit too close to home
>>
>>98653342
I wouldn't worry about it.
>>
A DOWNVOTE JERRY
>>
Kramer becomes a Scientologist. George's dad gets a Facebook and his old army buddies don't accept his friend request. Jerry's new girlfriend has the Crazy Frog song for her ringtone and it gets stuck in Elaine's head
>>
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>>98654903
>Who do these men think they are? I saved their asses in Korea a dozen times and this is the thanks I get?
>Dad, maybe they didn't see it.
>They snubbed me George! SNUBBED ME!
>>
>>98654903
>It turns out that they didn't accept his friend request because they had been dead for a couple years
>>
>>98639020
I never got that joke either. Probably because I pronounce it Clit (as in sit) or (as in her) is (as in kiss)
>>
>>98644188
Die
>>
>>98641337
Never seen a bigger same fag thread in my life. PLEASE 4CHAN ADD IDs to /TV to stop the madness. Your friend, creator of /biz.
>>
>>98645063
Just youtube it. There are pronunciation guides there. Then feel stupid.
>>
>>98637637
>Kramer goes around yelling nigger in the streets

didn't this one already happen?
>>
>VICE films documentary on kramer

>elaine's dancing goes viral on youtube

>george realizes he's a neet

>george accidentally texts his mother a picture of himself wearing her underwear
>>
>>98635989
You mean Curb Your Enthusiasm season 7?
>>
>>98644378
>>98644460
christ there's a goldmine of kramer ideas
>>
>>98644015

He and his friends fucked the ever living shit out of a 16 to 17 year old fat-tittied highschool jewess. Yes. Was that what you were asking?
>>
>>98651016
fucking kek
>>
>>98651299
Dry your eyes, lad.
>>
>new black character becomes part of the main cast because diversity




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