>Who's gonna pay for Leo and Brad then?
dude behind him is laughing so hard. face it man he got defeated
>>99816382>"Sorry, but as far as I know Brad and Leo aren't into africans"easy and effective
>>99816382>shut the fuck up bitch. you holes have pushed around us males long enough. MEN RISE UP
>>99816382>Roastie frog XD>Jonah you're le fat :-DREEE WE NEED MORE TIME >.<
>>99816530you forgot your emoji pic
>>99816382>"You fucking cunt. Do you know who I am? Fucking whore.">Jonah gets up and starts slamming her head into the table until her face is a bloody pulp>everyone in attendance is horrified>Jonah cuffed and sent to French jail to await a trial
>>99816382*pulls out Glock*You will, with your life, Subway boy lover.
>>99816618>Jonah on trial >judge calls in witnesses >surprise testimony >Ornella takes the stand>face still bruised and has multiple stitches >prosecutor asks her about when Jonah pounded her face>she leans into the mic>“well it’s not his fault. Not like he has any experience with women and pounding”>courtroom erupts in laughter >judge crying laughing so hard>sentances Jonah to 25 years for being fat and unfuckable
>>99816407After all these years I only now noticed. Jonah is truly finished.
>not a single good responseI-is it finally over?
>>99816382Isn't that calling them manwhores? Reminder that >heh heh... that's pretty good, Ornella>You know, it's funny, Brad and Leo were just telling me THEIR ultimate fantasy is a threesome with a beautiful french tv personality. >*Takes a drag of the cigarette that has inexplicably appeared in his hand* *exhales*>Do you know any?has yet to be given a good comeback
>I don't baguette it.
>>99817416No, you usually just sandwich it and stuff it down your piehole
>>99816382>two old men and a hotel room, is that how you got this job?
>>99816407>Implying he's not laughing at Jonah's legendary comeback
I solved this ages ago.>"I thought the French were supposed to be romantic."
>>99817659to them, insults are a form of courtship
>>99817365Not strictly a comeback, but:>Frog interrupts him when he's taking a drag of his cigarette>"I know you want to lose weight but this is the wrong way."
>>99817365Not bad. Not bad at all.
>>99817365I think we may have finally won with this one. Janny deleted the thread, as he's clearly an Ornellafag.
>>99817702Are you saying that she was actually trying to woo Jonah? Do you think she went home heartbroken:>"Stupid, stupid Ornella! You'll never get a man! Merde!"
Can someone post the Miles Teller/Tell her thing
>>99817416great joke, how does that pun work in French, you retard? they translate what he says.
>>99816743>Is promptly arrested for possesing a weapon of mass destruction
>I thought I was here to talk about War Dogs not Whore FrogsStill the best comeback.
>>99817909worst one, they translate what he says into French, retarded puns don't work at all.
>>99817909This. Ornellafags were steaming that day
>you will die childless and alone because you have no redeeming qualities as a person. Your looks will eventually fade and men will no longer desire for you to be their biological fleshlight.
>>99817909Doesn't translate, doesn't work. Also kinda insults all the French so he'd lose the crowd which were on his side at that point.
>>99817365We did it lads! Only took two years
>>99817950>Translators are incapable of explaining rhymesCase in point the steaming Ornellafag who screams"DAT NO MAKE SENSEEE" in a completely hypothetical thread lol
>looks at tranny co-host and ornella>"I have more power and money than both of you combined. Sit down, be humble."
>>99818007The long game never works with women
>>99816382"you're stomachs gonna pay for all those cheeseburgers you've been having Jonah; remember, a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips"+1 thumbs up if you liked my comment please
>>99817909>"Maybe you should lose some weight so you're not such a Wart Hog!"
>Wow, that's really mean. What did I ever do to you? I'm just here to help market my movie, I didn't deserve this treatment.
>>99816757JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME!I'LL COME UP WITH A GOOD COMEBACK! I PROMISE!NO!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>>99818029the translator would obviously just translate it literally, not bother to explain the rhyme. so he's basically just calling her a whore frog.
>>99817806Do you need to drag the cigarette before eat it Jonah? Or you only do that with cocks?
>>99818142WE NEED MORE TIME
>>99818142Come on dude.
not gonna watch it cause I'm too embarrassed for people in such situations but did he actually ask for more time or did tv come up with it on their own?
>Huh, that's a pretty good idea, Ornella, I always wanted to give pimping a try. Although I doubt Brad and Leo would want to pay for you
>>99818066It does if it hits right. A funny quip won’t make them seethe for a long period of time.
>I uh... maybe if... fuck you you fucking roastie cuntAnd that's how you do it
>>99818142weak. I think we've won
>>99818142>>99818175Nah, weak stuff. No connection to his actual words and just comes off as overly aggressive rather than witty.
>>99818007Are you an incel? This is so cringe
>Fuck you nigger.
>>99818142huh? that makes no sense. if she had continued on the line she used before, maybe. now she just went>lol you're gay
>Heh. Your short minded thoughts are Napoleon, Ornella. You think you got jokes? That's the funniest one thing I've heard all nightNow that's how you do it.
>>99818287shit. she needs more time
>>99818142*SNAP*Yep, this is going in my "retarded comebacks" compilation. Also 5
>>99818142>nonsensical AND homophobicPffhahaha
>>99818142>homophobic insultYou lost Ornella
>>99817365Jonah doesn't need more time
>>99818272>maybe if I laugh at her weak jokes she'll fuck me>I come to the show everyday and she still hasn't noticed me... YetOrnellafags
>Oh heavens above! What did you just say, my pretty?>What's that you say? Go away? >Why of course my dear. But it is Bradley and Leonardo who shall depart, not I, my love. For I shall be coming to you. >To think that this French television programme would involve a throng of radiant young ladies, all with bounteous bosoms?>And my dear, I do indeed chuckle heartily, for it is clear to me that your own bazoomas place first in the gallery of magnificent milkpuffles>For, m'lady, were a young man to lay eyes upon you and not immediately remark on the potency of your heavenly orbs, one might safely assume that this man is indeed, a boob!>Yes m'lady, a pun. Occasionally I simply must indulge. Chortle!>Come closer to your valiant protector. Oh my goodness gracious, you truly are in fine fettle.>I simply must encounter these blessed globes once more.>Oooh the feeling through me, like electricity as I glance upon these pink tips, awaiting touch of a chivalrous hand.>I must return to these givers of life, m'lady. Every man must know his roots, if he is to be any kind of man at all.>*Gently nibbles on nipples*>M'lady, why do you shudder at my touch?>Why, each lick of these rosy jumperbuttocks is like a tender caress with Athene herself.>*Slurps spittle over breasts*>The taste, my God, the taste. M'lady, I fear you may find me a terrible beast, but I simply must beg. Wouldst thou proffer a drop of crème, mademoiselle?>*Sucks drop of milk from breast*>As sweet as a Summer Dahlia housing a bumblebee. I truly am alive.>*Snorsh sluuuurp nyom sllllrp*>M'lady. M'lady, I live for this.>*Begins to ejaculate in pants*>Oh, my own fleshrod. It's pulsating prowess silences all! The force of this is enough to make a kind sir void his bowels! >M'lady, m'lady. Prepare! Prepare I say. For the harvest has failed and God yet might make his response be known! Ooh GRRP UUMP>*BRAAAAAAAP PFNAAAAAR AAARPOWPOWPOW SQUUOOORP BRRRRP PFNARSCHBRRAAAAPBOOOOOORPP*It's that simple.
>>99817365hoooo we did it
>>99818280Found the woman. Hit a nerve, sweetheart?
>>99817365>"because they couldn't ask you to introduce them to any attractive women, now could they"
>>99818377Found the incel. Hit a nerve, retard?
I enjoy this meme because it's so deep.While /tv/ is almost as antisemitic as /pol/, they still try to protect Jonah, a fellow neckbeard fattie, from the onslaught of a french roastie/whore/thot/stacy. They always get BTFOed in the end but does it really matter?
>>99818426Guess I did haha
>>99818416Go home, Ornella, you're making no sense
>>99816382>You know, that's funny, I have the same fantasy, but in mine you're the one who leaves.
>>99816757impressivealso WE NEED MORE TIME
>>99818508>no uWay to sound like a butthurt
>>99818508best comback, everyone has a good laugh after.
>>99817633This is the best response and it's always ignored because people want the meme to cobtinue.
>>99818530Lame. It’s over.
>>99818597you don't fucking say, brainlet
>>99818530It's... It's over.. We finally did it bros. I can die peacefully now
>>99817365already established this doesnt work because the woman is good looking and the panel and audience would confirm. Can't be bothered writing green text
>>99818579>calling her a whore on live TV in that #meetoo crap eraBest if he wants to lose his career...holy fuck you kids cant bantz for shit...
>>99818636it's been over for a long time, but people will still spam the thread.
>*braaaaps*>Hehe, better out than in. You were saying?
>>99817365>Uh, did the fat get to your head? You're looking at one.
>>99818667nah, you're wrong, it works. there's consensus. >and the panel and audience would confirmof course not, they were on his side at that point. there's also this >>99817633
>>99817365almost 4 years later and we did it /tv/
>>99818667>already established this doesnt work because the woman is good lookingAnd if she calls herself good looking she'll look narcissistic. That doesn't establish anything but a deeper hole brainlet
>>99818692>b-b-but I am prettyno, sweetie
Reminder that Jonah's been free since february.
>>99817365its a repeat of her answer with i make believe history(Brad and Leo telling hin about his fantasies)still bad
>>99818353underrated mentally ill poster
>>99818792It's all make believe, anon.
>>99818766Holy fuck did you people even knows how this works?he sound pissy the reaction would be the same as when he canceled the rest of the tour
>>99818886You weren't there, my man. It was a 4 hour battle between Jonah and Ornella. It was transcending reality at some points.
*snaps fingers*I hope they remember you.
>>99819008>You should've used that on half of yourself, Jonah
>>99818886>how this works?This is way more than just what would happen irl now
SUBWAYS: FRESHJONAHS RISE TF UP
i don't know, i think jonah's doing well. van sant, korine, even some animation bux. emma stone, joaquin phoneix, mcconaughey.what's ornella up to these days anyway.
>>99819034DAMMIT MORE TIME PLEASE FOR THE LAST TIME PLEA-
>and then Brad and Leo start sucking each others' big juicy cocks, right? I think I heard that joke before
>>99817365> Why are you their pimp? I'm not judging you here, at least they are feeding you well.
>>99818766cringe, comes off too bitter
>>99817739fucking terrible you should be embarrassed
>Well, as long as you make my money by the end of the nightLiterally all it takes, takes away from her sex appeal and lowers her to a literal prostitute.
>>99816757I liked it, 9/10
>>99817365>Very funny Jonah but we all know you haven't talked to Brad or Leo since you begged Scorsese to give you a role on the Wolf of Wall Street.
>>99817633We solved the riddle of the sphinx. Kobayashi Maru completed.
>>99819975Are you for real, m8? Have you seen the original exchange? Jonah being friends with them with the premise
>>99818671This was before that.
>>99816757keked heartilywas Jonah more JUSTed than Brendan in this interview? I mean, at least Brendan seems to be unJUSTing himself. Jonah, on the other hand... will have to drag his shame to the grave
>>99817365>bait and switch>calls her unattractiveso basically repeat the same joke she just made about him?
>>99820058The joke is Jonah struggles to obtain serious film roles. It' s also kind of a meme that Jonah's famous friends have abandoned him
>>99820245I got that, but it operates on a premise that runs counter to what is already established.
>>99817633>You forget Jonah, we're not in Hollywood, here in Europe people actually have to have qualifications for their job.
>"nah, I think I'm more your speed."This is it.
>>99821625>"nah, I think I'm more your Sneed"
>>99818108upwardly votes you upward with an up vote for you
>>99818142me in the back to the right literally
>>99818353based mentally ill poster
>>99819008normally that glove is gigantic even on thanos jonah, you need to slim dow- *poof*
Why can’t white Americans into bantz? I’m a white burger but I grew up with all black kids and when i moved out of what would be the hood in about 6 years, all the white kids would go essentially mid 90s pumped up kicks when I would talk shit. Like, when I was young with the nigs it didn’t matter, basketball, football, vidya shit just watching tv we would just talk mad shit all day by the other white kids would just seethe when I did it later in life
>>99820043>Kobayashi Maruheh new star trek timeline with jonah as kirk when
>>99822990what did she say? before she poofed away... what did she say?
>>99816382>if you went on a diet you could probably afford to
>>99818142You can do bett the
>>99817365That's not funny at all and is pretty much just a no u. It's possibly the worst thing jonah could say.
>>99818007>and you'll die in under 10 years because you're morbidly obese
>>99817365Many, Jonah, though I'm not surprised you don't talk to any beautiful women.
>Jonah throws his arms up and shrugs "Well, I tried being patient, but you left me with no choice. Lord forgive me for what I'm about to do.">Jonah whips out is his glock 17. The audience lets out one loud gasp>"Now everyone please remain in your seats and stay cal- I SAID SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP" Jonah fires several shots into the cieling>Jonah waddles on over to Ornella indiscriminately pointing the gun into the audience>"Does my second cock scare you, you stupid bitch? Get on your knees you chain smoking baguette fucker.">Ornella is in tears but does whatever the mentally broken fat man says hoping he'll spare her life>"Now. Suck my gun you pathetic frog.">Ornella is hesitant because Jonah's finger is on the trigger but she begins to give her best fellatio and deep throating skills. Anything to appease Jonah>"HAHA! Hey camera guy! Get this crazy frog on national TV sucking my gun!"
>>99824293>jonah ejaculates in her mouth>ornella swallows>"Geeze Jonah, I think that's my cholesterol intake for the year"
>>99817633This isn't Hollywood, Mr. Feldstein.
>>99816382how many times you guys gonna rewind time?the most weve come up with is to just shoot her
>>99816467>MEN RISE UPmy sides
>>99818692>She's in the audience?
>>99823765WE WERE SO CLOSE
>>99823765M O R ET I M E
>>99817633>well two old man and a pizza oven is all it took for you
>>99818109It's over bros. We'll never be able to beat her.
>>99825064Jabbing at his weight and his heritage? Jonah never stood a chance, did he?
>>99821625>"Well I was never a good runner so that's fair if your weight slows you down."
>>99817365>*Takes cigarette from Jonah*>Well if Brad and Leo are willing to be seen in public with you, then their standards can't be that high>*Proceeds to blow smoke in Jonah's face*
>>99824762SHE NEEDS MORE TIME.
>>99823765>>99823765FUCK I THOUGHT WE HAD IT
>>99825382IT KEEPS HAPPENINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>99823765This one doesnt quite remove the blade from the body
>>99823765>I only talk to people that matter. Emma Stone, Watson, both lovely women who I am still in contact with.
>>99825824>Leaving people voicemails hardly constitutes as "keeping in contact" Jonah
>>99823765NO IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIRWE WERE SO CLOSE
>>99817633this doesn't work because he already used that at the start of the conflict by talking about anal and asking if thats how she got her job
>>99825890>hmm, and Sending headshots to random studios hardly counts as trying to break it into the industry. I know when someone's got it and, you don't got it. Your left to leeching off A-listers like me for hits and pay. Kiss my fat ass Ornella, more specifically kiss my asshole.
>>99823041Brought up in loving over protective families that never argued
>>99816530Step 1: go the fuck back to r*ddit and stay there
>>99817365No, but there could be four hiding behind your fatass right now.
>>99823041>”look how hip and fresh I am my fellow niggers!”fuck off eminemfag
>>99817365It's finally over. Jonah needs no more time
>>99829756Not so fa(s)t >>99823765
>>99823765Ouch. Strong recovery.
>>99819034>>99819008Nope, these never happened. Remember that Jonah used the WE NEED MORE Time Gem to look into all the possible futures where these two comebacks never happened. With the reality stones he made the only one reality where he won happened. All comebacks never happened because Jonah didn't allow it.To be fair, it took Jonah going this far to win which shows how pathetic he really is. He had to become a god just to be a TV wench.
>>99817365I THINK WE DID IT.
>>99823765NOOO MORE TIME
>>99825382>*Proceeds to blow smoke in Jonah's face*
>>99823765This one's fucking weak, no time shills at it again in full force.
>>99816757Its alright lads we have 25 years to think of something
>>99816382That's a great one We've solved it lads!!
>>99823765SHE FINDS A WAY
>>99825824>With how much space all that fat takes up is there anyone on this planet you're not "in contact" with?
>>99817365>*Takes a drag of the cigarette that has inexplicably appeared in his hand*IMPOSSIBLE HE DIDN'T HAVE A CIGARETTE, THIS IS CHEATING. /TV/ STILL LOSES!
>>99817365The crucial part is this ONLY works with the impossible cigarette. You need something to fill that vital beat in a way that seems natural.Also it should be 'beautiful french celebrity', so that you're calling her ugly and a nobody.
>>99819415>Why would I want to invite them only to see their beautiful naked asses? I'm not gay! I don't want to see their beautiful cocks!
>>99817365FINALLLLYYYYYYYYY!!! IT'S PERFECT!!!
>>99828704Too confrontational/mean, the audience would boo herJonah finally won ;_;
>>99817365legitimately the best comeback, and the end of the jonah nightmare. jonah was freed by this post
>>99816382>Oh Jonah, not everybody has to pay for sex!
>>99817365I am so proud
>>99823765to which Jonah replies, dryly, while putting out his cigarette and standing up>not right now at least
>>99839963FUCK THIS SHIT! JONAH DESERVES A WIN, JUST ONCE
>>99816382>Fuck you, bitch!
>>99816407Shut up summerfag
>Damn right I'd leave, the only things I like to see get double stuffed are food.
>>99840119Let it be over, please
>>99840119ornella. OMG im not pretty enough to JONNAH HILL!audience laughs for 2 mins
>>99816382>>Who's gonna pay for Leo and Brad then?oh sweetie this may shock you but people get laid without paying
>>99841535Same as saying she's pretty directly, doesn't work without her sounding like a narcissistic cunt>>99841597WELL I GET PAID WITHOUT LAYINGwait...
>>99841618women get away with it all the time, just put a quirky face and say it as a joke, or even an ironic sad tone "awww im not attractive enough to jonnah" the audience is hearing that SOMEONE isnt attractive enough to that fatfuck, they will support fleury, they laughed at the other ornella´s mean joke
Give it up already, /tv/.Jonah just can't win. It's objectively impossible. He is genetically inferior. There is no possible comeback that could come from a genetically inferior beta male.
honestly just walking away is the alpha thing to do
>>99842132>Ornella leaves the studio, still giddy from her outstanding performance after totally humiliating Jonah.>I really showed that arrogant slob she thinks, grinning.>This is going to make me a star. Soon I will be bigger than Wonder Woman!>She looks at her phone, expecting her agent to call her at any second.>No calls yet but they will come.>She daydreams as she walks, imagining herself on stage accepting her many awards.>She checks Twitter and sees that her last Tweet got 12 retweets. Soon I shall have 1 million!>She heads down the corridor towards her second-hand car. Soon I will drive a Ferrari she thinks and smiles to herself.>She looks around as she walks, sensing somebody watching her. Nobody there.>She lets out the brap that she has been holding in since demolishing Jonah. It stinks.>She is almost at her car and stops to spray some perfume and adjust her panties. She got a little wet on camera and it had been chafing. Maybe she would get in the bath and slip in a finger or two when she got home.>She checks her phone again. Still no calls.>She checks Twitter again. Somebody has changed their mind and now she has 11 retweets.>She thinks about her Leo and Brad joke and lets out a huge roar of laughter. Classic!>She hears heavy footsteps behind her and freezes.>She looks around. Nobody there.>She picks up the pace towards the exit.>Her phone buzzes and she hurriedly checks to see if it is her agent. It’s a weather warning. Heavy storms are forecast. >More footsteps. Thud. Thud. Thud.>She turns and looks again but nobody is there. She grips her keys tightly and continues at a brisk pace.>Nearly there... >Thunder cracks in the sky.>She hears a girlish chuckle from behind her.>She smells marinara sauce.>She is taken down.
>>99841785>women get away with it all the time, just put a quirky face and say it as a joke, or even an ironic sad toneImagining this while someone saying some spiteful stuff would just make me thinks she's crazy lol.
>>99842145>>99818353can /lit/ even compete?
>>99818692Make audible *yeesssh* sound and look at the audience/camera side eyes.There you go, now she looks like a vain loser. Game: blouses
>>99816382literally all he has to do is respond with a Gang Weed® meme like pic related. French bitch utterly BTFO
The fact that this is still up after more than 12 hours has convinced me that the Mods deleted my thread after less than half an hour because I'd finally beat her and they couldn't handle it.>well I know fucking two guys 20 years older than you got you this job, so I can see why you'd think it might help you break into Hollywood
>>99817365>A cigarette? I guess you can’t even finish expressing your point with out putting something in your mouth. Do you need a Subway sandwich for in between your ramblings about your unfunny movie?
>>99842817Are the munchies why you eat all the time?
>>99842145He finally got her.
>>99842145We did it!
>>998183534chan has the smartest most educated and most charismatic autistic retards in the world
>>99843272gang weed aren't actually weed smokers you stupid bitch. any gamer can be gang weed but not all gamers are gang weed
>>99843971>call yourself gang weeders>nothing to do with weedDERANGED
>well it's funny you should say that, cos they're here>just kidding, and they will never be here, or in your body, just like your heart
>>99842764lit here, we can't
reminder that jonahposting is the best organic /tv/ meme in years
>>99818671he already did right before that. he said she gets sodomised all the time.
>>99818007>audience laughs because she has two kids and a husband>Ornella looks at Jonah and back at the audience while laughing