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05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
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4chan Virtual YouTuber Contest Final Round - 4chan Pass users can now vote on one of the top 20 entries!


The ability shapeshift into a beautiful little girl
but only while you're holding your breath
the ability to talk to fish
>the ability to talk to fish
But all fish will hate you.

The ability to see through solid objects.
What you see looks like liquid and cannot be discerned from being liquid
kinda lame and you didnt even say another power
But people can see through your clothes in the same manner

The ability to make anybody fall in love with you
Everyone falls in love with you regardless of your feelings towards them.
Being able to slide into alternate universes with unique and richly distinct histories from our own.
but each one is slightly worse than the last, and you can't go back except to your original universe
the more broad application of the "bulletproof" superpower. i.e. you're indestructible.
You can talk to animals.

>the more broad application of the "bulletproof" superpower. i.e. you're indestructible.
But you can still feel pain and it's amplified 4x
But they cant talk to you.

>i can breath underwater
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>You can no longer breathe on land.

To everyone around you, you just sound like a distressed mongoloid and can't communicate your intelligence.

You can speak every language in the world fluently
You can only say phrases that could only offend the person you are talking to

You become a master of martial weapons
But every weapon breaks after one use, including your fists.

The power to jump incredibly long distances
Due to gforce, your intestines empties out every single time

Ability to turn off gravity very locally
You cannot turn gravity back on

Ability to read minds
>Ability to read minds
But everything you read is spoken out your mouth automatically.

The ability to detect and strike the weak point on any opponent dropping them in one hit.
You have to use your testicles to hit them in that spot.
Time travel.
Can only travel forward and can't return to your own time.
>Can write incredible stories and novels easily
Someone else is always credited for the work.

You can calm people down by being close to them, like stopping dangerous fights and muggers never attack you.
You are completely mute
>Able to cook anything you want perfectly
Only when you cook vegan.

You can see around corners before you reach them.

>can walk through walls, disappear, and fly
Any priest from any religion can easily remove you from the world.

You can shoot lightning bolts from your palm.
While youre electrically resistant your not heat resistant

You can see skeletons / fossils through earth
The skeletons and fossils can also see you.

Ability to summon lightning by playing the guitar.
Only when it is plugged into an amp.

The power to materialize large, piping hot, deep dish pizzas in front of you.
The dough is always undercooked

Ability to transform into a dragon
but you can only into one of the gay dragons that fuck cars on deviant art

aging takes twice as long for you as it would for others. meaning you live to be twice as long assuming you don't contract aids/cancer/etc
All your senses work at %50 capacity.

You can control electronics with your thoughts.
but you're a paraplegic
you can become a giant
Except your dick

You no longer need sleep
If you ever get knocked out you can never wake up again.

You have incredible charisma and are able to influence people to do insane shit.
but only midgets or people 7'6" or over
you can grow super sharp indestructible claws from your hands
Each time you grow them out you get an insatiable lust and a powerful erection you don't have the hands to grip properly.

You can survive a fall from any height.
"Survive" doesn't mean it's particularly enjoyable.

You can speak any language fluently
You permananty yell whenever you talk

You can spawn anything you desire into existance through telepathy
It always spawns in your rectum.

You can open up portals to anywhere in front of you.
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The ability to make other people happy.
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You're severely depressed
You have to strangle a baby to power them up
>Free Amazon prime for life
>>Free Amazon prime for life
You have no life.

The power of Flight.
You can float up but not move in any other axis
>Elastigirl stretchy power
You always hit yourself when you snap back.

You can stop time.
>You can stop time.
You have to fight a British vampire with greater time-stopping ability or your mother dies from his curse
Control over causality
>Control over causality
Knowing all the permutations of possible actions saps all interest from remaining alive.

You can sit comfortably in any chair.
but chairs whisper mean things to you
you can punch really really hard
Only if your mom gives you permission
>You never have to replace your kitchen sponge
that would be a pretty funny comic actually
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It weighs ten pounds when wet.

You can shoot eyebeams.
But only in pitch black darkness.

You can make your farts smell like anything you want.
but you're the only one who can smell them.

you can grow new teeth if they fall out.
Your teeth fall out multiple times each week
P.S. that really isn't a drawback

You can make people think you aren't a virgin
these arent superpowers anymore you drips
But only when they believe you're gay.

You can punch people over the internet through your monitor.
You punch like a wuss.

You can summon hordes of demons to do your bidding.
Their service price is a no safe-word anal gang bang.

You have the power to convince people that a bunch of four bananas is actually five.
Only when it's 5 people who really want to eat a banana

You know literally everything there is to picking up women
But whenever you try talking to women, all they hear is static so you must become a teacher to other males.

You have the ability to stop time for 5 seconds.
>You have the ability to stop time for 5 seconds.
This includes every molecule and atom around you - you can't move or breathe as the atmosphere around you is frozen in time

Power: You have passive complete immunity to nuclear radiation.
That includes the sun so you are blind in broad daylight

You can never be found guilty in a court trial
>You can never be found guilty in a court trial
Mob justice is still a thing, and seeing you constantly let off the hook for committing crimes will just make people angrier. Also if you abuse it and act violently, there's a good chance you'll be 'accidentally' shot to death by police while they're capturing you.

You can command any bird within 5 kilometers (and see through their vision / other senses) as though it were an extension of your own body.
You can only have the bird take action (flap, shit, etc) by doing the same motions with your own body.

You can make doors open up into rooms that they don't connect to.
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Goy fag?
but only bathrooms and you don't have control over which one.

you can make force fields.
The forcefields drain money from your bank account when active
>Immune to all diseases
>Immune to all diseases
You get captured and experimented on brutally to try and replicate the immunity.

Mastery of video games
You hate playing them at a feminist level of disgust.
>You can breathe in space
If you breath in anything that isn't in a vacuum, your lungs will explode from excess matter

>You can go into any isekai universe in existence
>>You can go into any isekai universe in existence
as a random loser who would probably get perma-killed by the weakest earlygame enemy

You gain extreme manual dexterity and precision (e.g. being able to peel a sheet of paper in half with your fingers)
Because dexterity is an increase in muscle mass you're also so strong you break everything you touch.

You can turn calories into muscle mass super efficiently.
>You can turn calories into muscle mass super efficiently.

You have no control over this, you have to eat a couple thousand calories (kcal) at least every three hours or your body would start consuming itself. Have fun waking up multiple times a night to eat (and constantly need to poop as well)

The ability to control insects telepathically
you have large antennae on your head that, when touched, send sharp pains to our skull.

you can shapeshift
But only into sea cucumbers.

You can telepathically access the internet.
you're vulnerable to the same things a computer is, enjoy having your memories held for ransom with a cryptolocker or furry porn ads sent directly to your daydreams

You get super engineering powers - not just engineering knowledge but related fields e.g. chemistry and physics, excellent mental calculation ability, you can quickly understand and reason about engineering problems, etc.
But you're also a woman.

You can double the power of any device by touching it.
It either breaks mechanically or overloads the circuits if electronic.

You can imagine cooking ingredients of the finest quality into existence.
Anything made from those ingredients tastes like ashes

You can use anything that you touch as if you have spent years training with it
>You can use anything that you touch as if you have spent years training with it

You always forget what you wanted it to do.

You can de-age anyone to 5 years old.
>You can de-age anyone to 5 years old.
They retain their adult mind and strength, so trying to use e.g. to kidnap someone will only make things harder. Also, if you de-age a friend and they commit a crime that's only possible due to the de-aging you'll get charged with the same crime due to enabling it.

You gain the powers of a master baker, any cake, bread, or other baked good is trivial for you and you have a deep knowledge of baking-related parts of various fields e.g. chemistry
>You gain the powers of a master baker, any cake, bread, or other baked good is trivial for you and you have a deep knowledge of baking-related parts of various fields e.g. chemistry

You have an aura of gluten that strikes fear into everyone.

You can enter any tree, and draw rest, healing, and nourishment from it.
>You can enter any tree, and draw rest, healing, and nourishment from it.
You cum tree sap.

You can force people to tell the truth telepathically.
>You can force people to tell the truth telepathically.
Try it on the wrong person and you'll get your ass kicked. Try it on someone with something to hide, e.g. top politicians, elite bankers, etc... you may just tragically "commit suicide"

You can turn anything you touch into ceramic. You control the composition (whether it's fine china or more like bulletproof SAPI plates) and require deliberate thought to activate your power.
only while you're touching it and if any of it breaks, you die.

computer god. basically modern tech just does whatever you want it on command, also passwords and encryptions dont matter since you can just command the tech to bypass it.
>computer god.
Nobody likes you man!

Can jump tall buildings in a single bound!
>Can jump tall buildings in a single bound!
You still only survive falls and leaps from normal height, so if you over shoot the building, you will dead.

You have admin powers on 4chan
You will be mocked by everyone who uses the site to the point that even the board dedicated to fielding your interests will have a sticky to promote you using a secretive IRC channel where you ban everyone that uses it besides the regulars.

You are always right.
Every time someone says something incorrect, you have to say, "Well actually..." and correct them.

Your immune system is perfect and you cannot get any disease, even if you shot ebola directly into your veins.
You have to constantly keep giving yourself diseases otherwise your restless immune system will attack the rest of your body.

You can copy anybody's handwriting by seeing it once.
you can't write anything that isn't copied.

you can predict natural disasters.
You can't prevent anything related to natural disasters.

You can sing in autotune with your vocal cords.
You are automatically tuned to sing out of key no matter what

Your dreams are actually you living in a different universe
But you only dream of universes filled with niggers and transgenders.

You can live your life without getting any sleep at all.
>You can live your life without getting any sleep at all.
It won't kill you to not sleep but you will feel absolutely terrible.

You can shapeshift at will to any human form, and have a complete set of ID, bank accounts, backstory, etc. suitable for that form.
But its alwayss a degenerate (junkie/homeless etc...)

You have the ability to spawn objects out of thin air
due to the law of conservation of mass, the matter in the air used to make the object leaves a vacuum which collapses on you at the speed of sound. the more massive the object, the larger the vacuum left in its wake.

heat vision.
But works only with farts.

you can eat every girl's pussy whenever you want
if it isn't consensual they will file a police report 100% of the time
you can manipulate physics in a 3 foot radius around your body.
>you can manipulate physics in a 3 foot radius around your body.
including your body. And it turns out that while fucking with the strength of bonds between atoms is useful, it's not human survivable

The power to sing instrument sounds (e.g. you can sing as though you were playing a guitar or other instrument of any kind perfectly).
You’re only bulletproof because you can turn into metal, meaning you are completely immobile for the duration of your bulletproofness.

Ability to turn any part of your body into metal temporarily.
You can't talk. at all.

the only metal you can turn into is potassium.

poison/toxin immunity.
Water is poison to you and you can only drink expensive lab-grade acid
>You can control your dreams completely
You have terrible insomnia

You can control Bees to attack your enemies.
>You can never be found guilty in a court trial
only for parking violations
Only during business hours

You have the ability to see into the future
It's twice as exhausting as sprinting.

The ability to cure any disease.
You can only cure other people, and you get the disease yourself if you do.

You can teleport to anywhere on Earth instantly.
There's no downside

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