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we're all going through something, be it a hard breakup or that you're fucked for that upcoming exam

post a pape and let it out anon

>finally stopped hanging out with the a bad crowd ; friends were druggies and now the loneliness sets in as the rest of the people you knew moved to the city
>tfw they have busy lives and careers while you sit at home watching life go on without you
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>>7076031
I don't know if attaining happiness is a struggle, or the lack of struggle is forbidding my happiness
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It gets harder and harder to force myself to wake up in the morning everyday.
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I'm finally getting over my Xanax addiction and I'm on my 4th day of withdrawal, I'm actually fine for the most part. Just kinda disappointed that I can't get it up with my gf cause of this fucking shit
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This is what i feel like
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I'm in love with a woman that actually loves me back, but I don't know how long the spark will last.
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I feel my wife and I drifting apart. I have no interest in our newborn. We started off in a kinky relationship and now its gone. It started slowly with work and now its full blown with this kid. I feel trapped in our apartment. She threatened to leave me with the kid last week because I can't handle this fatherhood thing. I want to pursue a career and be a dad, but I fucking hate dealing with newborns.
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Im 21, a senior in college, and ive been depressed since highschool. I dont know if my major in college is what i want to really do, i hate my roommates, i can barely pull myself out of bed to go to class anymore. My parents ask me if im happy and i have to lie to them because i dont know how to admit to lying about this for so long and I dont know how to ask for help. I feel like im fucking everything up, and i feel like im already bound to be a failure and im only fucking 21. All i do anymore is sit in my god damn room because my good friends go to a different school, and none of the people i know at mine ever bother to invite me to anything. I really just have no idea what to do anymore. But heres a wallpaper.
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>>7076214

Don't give up, pal. Time runs fast and soon your newborn will grow. Keep yourself up, eventually life will get better.
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>>7076215

You can tell them you don't know how you're feeling. Maybe this will give you some space to talk about how you're really feeling at this moment. Also, you can think about reinvention. Changing something here and there, and your life will start changing too.
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>>7076212

Keep it warm, interesting and fun to her.
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>>7076214
that's normal anon, its called PPD. The only way to truly get over it is to have an honest conversation about how you feel with your wife.
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21 anon here... Learned early on, anons, that life is shit. Got bullied from the age of 9 for enjoying my imagination, have attempted suicide 3 separate times because of it. Pretty much wasted my time at school believing that if I act like an idiot people will like me. Had the girl of my dreams ready to be mine but I was too much of a pussy to say anything. 6 years ago, my mum got a mental illness that pretty much has made her have the motor ability of a toddler. My dad walked out last year and shacked up with another woman without telling anyone. I'm pissing away my uni degree because I am too lazy and have pretty much got the belief that I can pass without study. I am embarrassed with my life; I have, and continue to, wasted it by spending every waking moment in front of my computer screen. With all this though, I am proud that I have overcome these hurdles and kept going.
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Made a career change a few months ago and fucking despise myself for it. Simply chasing a few extra bucks an hour. I've been applying to get back into my field but it's been a slow process.

Everyday I wake up and have to talk myself into going to work. I've had spurts of anxiety before but pretty much everyday for the last few months I get panic attacks before work and at work. I've been able to play it off pretty well but my GF and a close friend are starting to notice I've been off lately. I think that bothers me as much as the actual anxiety / border line depression.

I called out sick this morning so I could go to another interview.

Felt good to actually state this issue instead of holding it in.
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I love life. I have no friends. I don't go outside because of medication side effects. But I am sometimes invited to go to a sweet family vacation trip and the old me would have totally stayed home, now I see this as something to experience when someone asks me how my life is going.
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>>7076238
Yes. You're not alone, many moms/dads go through this, in one form or another. Like the man said, have a honest conversation with your wife. She needs your support and you need hers.
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>>7076273
I know full well that opening up your head to the world isn't an easy thing, but why not starting to share this with your GF and/or this close friend?
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>>7076031
My Diet and life is going to shit. haven't been able keep eating right and I just cant find the time and motivation to keep going to the gym. I want to try and get into shape for myself and so I can reach the air force weight requirements. I feel like I wont accomplish any thing with my life if I keep going this slow pace with everything. With that being said I haven't given up hope yet and I hope every last one of you on this thread dont give up either.
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I respect women a lot but I just can't see beyond their bodies. The only women I have non-sexual insight into are relatives (who just happen to be forbidden so who knows what could be if they weren't).

I am good at hiding it by imitating what I consider normie behavior so it's not taking its potential toll on me. It's just an irksome bee-sting kind of feel when you contemplate it.

I have other issues too (far, far worse) but for logistical reasons I cannot discuss them.
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Turned some years a few weeks back. I had some goals 10 years ago thinking when I'm so and so old I'll have done that that and that.

Haven't done anything but be drunk, get fat and masturbate. Pretty sure going to have a stroke or something soon. Just wish if it happens it happens at work or somewhere with people, because if it happens at home it's going to be days before they start calling my parents from work. And by then I'll have died.

Have thought of offing myself but I'm convinced I can't do it myself.

Nothing excites me anymore, I'm honestly looking forward to fucking nothing. I just go to work, get back home, spend the day watching the fucking same tv shows I've seen for 10 times already, drink beer, go to sleep, repeat.

Work fucking sucks. Coworkers are pretty cool and fun, so there's that at least. Don't know what the fuck I was thinking when I picked that job. Dead-end job, doesn't really pay anything (enough to drink shitloads of beer every weekend), not really interested in the whole thing, and at times fucking back-breaking. Partly because I'm a fat fuck.

I just wish I could turn back the clock for 10 years.
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>>7076420
>I just wish I could turn back the clock for 10 years.

Yeah who wouldn't? Everyone will want to change something if they could, but that's not how life works.

You either keep moving forward and fixing what's broken piece-by-piece or you sit on your fat ass and cry about how you don't have a time machine despite being the protagonist of the universe.

Cut down on the alcohol, cut down on the masturbation (I am saying cut down not entirely quit), join a gym (even if you'll never look like a model, at least you can gain an extra few years of life) and start attending all sorts of shit at work this way you'll form stronger ties with co-workers: Not necessarily close friendship but stronger than what you have now

I know this may sound fucking contrarian on 4chan, but Reddit has communities that can make your life better (/r/nofap, /r/fitness, /r/socialskills, /r/relationshipadvice, /r/askmen, /r/askwomen, etc, etc)


That being said, I too have no social life, masturbate every night, anorexic as fuck and I haven't had a real exercise in 6 years (I am only 22 years old btw). I can't drink alcohol because mudslim sandnigger and can't smoke because weak ass lungs otherwise I would have been an addict and I know it.
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>>7076031
>suicidal thoughts are becoming an every day thing
>getting older
>no achievements
> no light at the end of the tunnel
> everyday is exactly the same
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>>7076031
my mom is such a fucking bitch and calls everything that i like and enjoy "stupid" and "a waste of time". Now she cant afford to feed my baby sister so i loaned her $200, and she turned around and started bitching at me for being a white male. Fuck this stupid shit why the fuck do i have to deal with this
I JUST WANT TO WRITE MY BOOK IN PEACE
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In love with a girl who doesn't feel the same. We've been talking for a few months, talked every day 24/7 about everything. Told her how I felt, she said she enjoyed talking to me but that's it. And now she barely responds anymore. Don't know how much more of this I can take.
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>>7076031
>recently broke up with gf
>started seeing things
>not sure if real life events are dreams or not
>have to ask parents or friends if it actually happened
>I don't know if i am going crazy or not
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>>7076350
I've been sharing it with my GF, just not the magnitude.. The last week or so she's been trying to have me open up more but I feel ashamed that I made this big switch and only a few months into it I'm wanting out.

I'm 28 now and for the most part I've made my own way. Never really had to rely on anyone other than my parents here and there for anything but lately I've been feeling like a complete failure and disappointment. I'm hoping getting back to where my passion is will help with this because I'm not sure how people live with these feelings for months and years.
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I want to be in a relationship, I've taken some time (4 years) away from being in one to focus on my self, to discover and love my self .. and I've finally done it. Learned to be alone with nothing more than my self. But now, now I'm ready .. But I also find my self comfortable being alone and not sure if I actually wanna be in a relationship. I'm lonely and not lonely at the same time .. it sucks lol
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>>7076528
I'm in that same boat man. Been hanging out with this one girl lately, and I do like her, but I've gotten used to being single again. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about anything, but I just don't know. Also, I feel like we wouldn't really be compatible, we are very different in most aspects, and we don't share many interests (we're both film buffs, but that's about it). It's definitely a weird feeling.
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>Just moved out of my parents' house
>Job only just pays the rent, but I enjoy it, so I'm satisfied for now
>Haven't really been pursuing romance because I'm so busy with work and hobbies
>Rewind a year
>Spending a lot of time with female friend
>Both socially awkward and inexperienced, but we get each other innately
>She invites me as her plus one to a friend's wedding, all her friends assume we're dating
>Few months later, after trying to be "smooth" and drop hints that keep going over her head, plainly state that I'm interested in dating her
>Know that she's going back to grad school soon, and on top of her job, won't have a lot of free time
>She says as much, and because of that it's not really a good time
>That's fine, no pressure, I tell her whenever she's ready, that's fine
>Few months later, bring it up after a friend's birthday party
>She's still busy with school, planning a sibling's wedding and a big family trip
>Used to text frequently, sometimes she wouldn't respond because she was busy and forgot about the text
>But there's always that lingering doubt that maybe I'm bothering her
>Didn't text while she was overseas because of international charges
>It's been over a month, haven't contacted her, she hasn't contacted me

I think I may have dug myself into a rut and I'm not sure if it's too late to get in touch with her again. And even if she's interested now, I don't know if I'll be able to support a relationship financially.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7E_4c_s9y8

I hope this helps anons
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>>7076215
Are you me?
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>tfw I cant seek professional help or even acknowledge my anguish because it would disqualify me from my desired career field, therefore making life purposeless and making it futile and pointless to go on
>tfw reaching out for help will be the end of me
What a fucked up situation lol. I didnt ask for any of this.
Heres a mobile pape cause phone poster.
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>few months back, start talking to someone from the other side of the world
>we hit it off really well and end up developing romantic intentions
>they have a pretty shitty life which has taken it's fair share of misfortunes
>I end up becoming the best thing that ever happened to them, in their words
>soon afterwards, they run afoul of the law and end up incarcerated in a clinic due to the trouble involving drugs
>only able to talk once a week now, at best
>once they get out, they'll have literally nowhere to go since their family has cut off all contact now
>by this point I've become rather disillusioned with them and I don't think they would have been right for me since they seem to be kinda [spoiler]toxic[/spoiler]
>then two weeks ago I end up talking to this girl IRL who I've noticed keeps looking at me in my city college class
>we seem to get along rather well so far, so now I'm going to ask her out in a few weeks
>problem is, I haven't had the heart to tell the first person my real feelings yet, since I'm sure they'd suicide if I cut off contact with them and I don't want to be the cause of someone's death
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>>7076031
I'm soon going to be 25 and I've never worked a day in my life. I stutter and have bad anxiety. Don't know how what to do. Don't feel like I can do anything.
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>>7076568
Women come and go. To me, her actions indicate that she's indirectly rejecting you. Women do that a lot. And that's fine, just means that one is not for you. Be careful not to waste your time and energy on a wild goose chase bruh.
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>gf of 3 years let it slip that shes incabable of orgasm through medication shes been taking
>basically said sex was meaningless, told me to stop asking for sexual favors
>Actually love her because shes always there for me no matter what and she treats me like a person
>have recently been in a depressed stiupur due to life in general and nothing going well recently
>grades are suffering, struggling for exams
>between everything else i just kinda dont find and pleasure in hobbies
>thinking about breaking it off but i care too much for her

sorry for blog and shitty phone pape but i just needed to get this off of my chest, thanks
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Got let go last year from a job I truly enjoyed due to economic downturn. Spent 6 months looking for work but ended up taking a small business course and I'm opening a board game cafe. Hurray I guess.

Construction has been asinine. Get a quotes for shit constantly that are 400% above reasonable. But power through is stressed to the max.

Also, holding game nights at my place to have fun. Meet a new chick who is 100% my type. We click and everything looks like it will be perfect, but before I can ask her out, due to her over hearing my job offer to another guy, she starts working for me.

So now I'm fucking torn. If I ask her out and she says no, I'm out a friend, employee, and an awesome woman in my life. The optics of the situation are all fucked up now. Especially with the fucking media these days.

Sorry for the pic. I don't even remember what the quality on it is, but I love the pic for my phone.
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>>7076215
I'm here right now too. I've decided that my major is just a job and that I'm too far in it to change. I'm worried I'm going to apply for jobs and find nothing. I'm lonely because I live near all these party houses but I'm never invited to anything, and when I am invited to things I find reasons to not go because actually hanging out with that many people makes me anxious. I literally want things that I don't actually enjoy, because I was told my whole life that I should want them.

Butt fuck it, here's a picture of Tyler the Creator I stole from another thread.
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>>7076765
Thats a nice pape anon. Sorry you're going through that, my ex used to do similar stuff. At one point she blamed me for her lack of sex drive, and told me she intentionally picked a birth control that killed her sex drive because I didn't satisfy her. It's rough, but this too shall pass.
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I have anxiety and ocd as well as dpd i sit in my room everyday and do nothing but listen to music and cry and feel like a piece of shit i literally can't find inspiration or get the strength to just get out of this slump i am in. terrified of just being alive at the moment realizing that everything people told me my entire life was just a lie and that i would never go anywhere no matter how hard i tried literally got nothing but mental health issues the "you cant seem them" i guess kinda issues and they eat me alive everyday just keep pushing people out of my life just keep pushing everyone away the medication they have me on does just about nothing for me go on a website for depression "it has a AI that talks to you" and have like hour long conversation's with a robot and just kinda realize I am going to always be this. This anxiety this Sadness this whatever i can't change it regardless of what everyone says I've had it for this long if i could have done something to change it I would have

Tl:dr i just wish I hadn't fallen so fast.
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I'm a loser. I can't get a job and I have a baby on the way. You deserve better.
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There is a word/phrase I love called "event horizon" and what this means is when its too late and you've passed the point of no return. It can be used in tragedies, when a character releazis what mistakes they've made but its too late, Im not calling myself a tragic figure at all, I just think the word fits.

I used to have a lot of friends you know, a whole lot, I had a purpose and goals, an amazing gf. I was happy. Really happy. A year ago to this day they started decaying, and me with them. See I got all of these things in a mental unit, and this is my anniversary of discharge. I didnt get better, no i was too old and I had to leave. One by one I had seen my friends left, people who i loved, and I had never seen them again, I was an old timer there at that point, I had been one of longest patients. I had made a great friendship group at the start and they all left before me, one by one I saw my friends leave. I was going to meet them one the outside I said, we all agreed. When I got out, I had saw what they all did, they pressed resume on their lives but I didnt have one to return too. All of them disliked the past as much as I would come too, so they forgot about the unit, and me. I have a leaving book from last year...only a few people wrote in it, because as my friends left so did parts of me, I stayed in my room until it was time to leave.
(1/2)
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>>7076988
I have tried my best to make myself a life but its hard, its Like PTSD, I have to completely ignore my past, I manage to do this but starting from scratch is hard especially when the people you care about arent their to anaesthetize the pain. My gf left me, I had completelty lost myself. I see myself growing old now, I dont recognise the guy staring back at me, I am losing who I am, every day I stray away from a time that felt like yesterday.

Last year was the event horizon, my path has been set, I know my life will end in suicide, its just a matter of when, I am not upset per say, I am happy I have had the good times. I have felt what its like to love people and to be happy. I ,through choices, put myself upon this path. And I am going to see it through. I dont want to go really, but every day I get a bit more weary and fatigued by a tiredness that doesnt come from insomnia. A few of my friends have already commited suicide, some didnt make it out, and although its a small chance. I might just see them again, this time Im not going to let them go.
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I tired, multiple times, to articulate my current feelings and struggles but I just can't find the right words.

I just want to share that I feel so absolutely defeated and weak right now. I feel so absolutely weak, I could die.
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I have a fwb. Sex is all right, we do cute shit together, it's like dating but without being exclusive. Except I just can't tell myself that we're not exclusive. The person is super chill and doesn't stress up about anything, as far as I can tell, meanwhile it makes me an emotional mess roughly once every week. Slept with another guy on a whim for the first time last night, not only was the sex not as good, but I can just feel in my heart that it's not what I want. But I also really, really aren't ready to commit to a relationship. Can't eat the cake...
>>7076733
Had an ex who tried to kill himself when I broke up with him. No matter what, it is not you who force their hand. I think it's harsh as fuck, but you can't save everyone, and you're tying yourself down out of fear for that person right now. I had to call the ambulance to a different country which was hard as fuck, and if I hadn't made it he would have died, but I would probably have dealt with it through my therapy. But... Yeah. Even for what I did, I needed therapy, so there's that.
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I feel as though having a relationship is difficult like they're always talking to their ex's and willing to hang out with them over me which results in break up or their lesbian and i was just an experiment or we feel a disconnect. I try but its not enough.


I wake up in the morning tired i stare into the mirror to see a person i dont recognise a person who scares me. As every few months I enter a dark phase where i become disconnected and dark thoughts arise suicide and anger. I feel that one day ill either hurt myself servery or someone else but i hold myself back but it scares me. Ive figured out aslongs as i play games and eat normally im fine
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>>7076031
>be me at 16-18
>smart kid but lazy and poor af
>pass highschool with midiocre-below average grades
>be me at 19, finaly realize that I was retarded for slacking in hs (HS grades decide alot here for uni acceptance)
>get a hot gf, just the type of girl I wished for, we're both inlove
>get into a sort of college where you can get a minor engineering degree
>pay for it on my own, because family is poor af
>get a letter from the army, they are willing to review paying for my uni and sending me to get my undergraduate degree in Mechanical Engineering and sending me to a good Uni, but I need to get accepted on my own terms
>work and study insane hours to pay for current shitty college which when I will graduate help me getting a good Uni
>feel like shit cause I sleep an average of 4-5 hours a day
>feel like shit cause I see gf only 2 times a week, scared i might lose her
>feel like shit because I'm scared that I'll blow my only chance to better myself and finaly become a somebody
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Uncle died yesterday and my parents broke up couple weeks ago. There have been too much things happening all at once. It's just hard to see my mom struggle like this.
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I want to make friends with two people in my college program. They talk to me during class and invite me to join their groups in class but they haven't wanted to hang out off campus. I wonder if something about me kind of puts people off.
Why is it that it feels so childish to care about something like friendship and being likable?
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>>7077004
You got this man. You are honing in on worthwhile life goals, and you are bearing your cross and struggles well. Just be honest and open up with your gf and anyone else around you as they are your key support now.

As for me, a lot of shit happened this month:
>finally got first gf ever (happened to be a virgin too)
>at same time, I was diagnosed with Chlamydia during my first STD test
>set off spiral of anxiety which caused STD like symptoms after I was cured which put me in ER on Thanksgiving
>have inevitable medical bills to pay
>My grandpa who is like a second dad tried to kill himself (hasn't been right since stroke and grandma's passing earlier this year)
>family is breaking apart from it - my uncles and one of my aunts no longer speak with each other
>still feel like a hopeless manchild even though I finally live on my own and have a job
>still feel lost as ever career and life wise - I have a degree which is not that relevant at my job


Anyone else just feel utterly unprepared for life as an adult? I almost miss the simple days of playing video games from waking up until I went to sleep.
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I just failed, I dont want to be able to wake up
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I think im in love with a girl I barely know. I don't think she knows me though. We've talked once or twice. The worst part is that she lives right down the street. I'm a Pussy.
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16 i have repeated a course last year, feel like shit for being the oldest of the class, I still have an opportunity to be better?
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>>7076031

Struggling with fucking health anxiety here.
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>>7076212

i know it's stupid think to say, but try to relax, and enjoy the ride :)
everything will be fine!
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>>7077053
Think of it this way dude.

Anyone can quit once they've failed once. But choosing to go back means you are willing and trying to improve. That puts you ahead of an enormous percentage of the population.

Yes you have the opportunity to be better.
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>>7076032
Some people say that happiness comes from simply wanting to be happy. I thought it was some easy-philosophy bullshit. But it actually is the case man. If you want to be happy and change your mindset you start acting in a way that makes you even more happy. it's not an easy thing and it takes some time of course but if you don't have any reasons not to be happy it might very well work for you.

>>7076191
Congrats on quitting man, whats's going on with your gf ?

>>7076212
Hahaha, as the others said, enjoy the ride and you'll reconsider if you're still good in a while. You're not fucking up right now, but you might if you end it, cause once it's done it's done.

>>7076214
Keep it going man, your wife should be happy you're al least there. I think you're not the only one going through such a thing, maybe seek someone competent to speak to ? And yeah he will grow and maybe you'll have some more interest.

>>7076267
You're keeping up good actually man. I'm 21 and just finished my studies. Was not easy. And with all you've got going on I can understand it's hard.
Maybe you need the screen time to put up with all the other bullshit ? I know I can spend days on the computer when the rest of life is fucking my life up.
You're already doing a lot of good by standing by your mum and studying. Allow yourself to feel exhausted. And maybe go and speak to a profesional about all this? I didn't want to at the beginning but it did a lot of good to me. The key is to find the person that gets you, so feel free to try a few.

>>7076273
It's okay man, we all make bad choices. As you said, at least you're addressing them, that's the only way it's gonna get better. And you have the chance to have a gf that seems to care about you, so free your soul and speak to her about how you FEEL

>>7076320
Do tell more about your life man, seems interesting :)
>>
>>7076403
I have the same thing going on here, didn't stop life from giving me a wonderful girlfriend that keeps my sexual attention centered. How old are you? I think it does usually get better with experience.
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>>7076031
I hope you will get over it OP, try to get cozy and comfy for the time being

I am stressed as fuck making a videogames with some fellow Uni graduates of mine. There are so many uncertainties I face everyday, sometimes I feel like I might burst into tears.
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I've always wanted to know what love felt like. I've never experience young love or anything like that... it depresses me greatly
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>>7076179
me too bruh if u read this reply me
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I'm in love with my best friend but neither of us is single
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>soon 25
>never had a job
>never had sex (got close but I couldn't pull through)
>suffer from horrible skin disease
>bad anxiety
>stuttering
I don't know what to fucking do. I've been studying at university but without any job experience there's no way I'll ever get a job when I finish, and I don't know how to apply for a fucking job because of my anxiety and lack of experience.
On top of that, it fucking hurts, physically and mentally, having this disease. It's not that I can't attract girls (although it's extremely hard because I'm a manlet), it's that I have too much anxiety to show my horribly scarred body to anybody.
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>have your life made for you since you were born
>manage to fuck it up anyway

That's me in general. I have a more specific reason to vent though.

I'm an artist. I've been honing my craft since I was little, like around 9 or so. I'm 21 now, and I can say that I'm pro level. I've been told that I could make a career for myself since I was 13. Despite this though, I don't have the drive for it. I've always struggled to remain interested in projects if I don't just do them all in one sitting. Now this has caught up to me terribly. I'm in college and the work load plus my bad habits means I have almost no time for art. Plus, I'm scared as hell that no one would be interested in what I draw. It feels like I need to keep up with trends or draw cute girls to be popular, but I'm not interested in that. For the first time in my life, I'm having a massive crisis and I don't know what to do. It feels like half my world is collapsing and part of my depression is from this.
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>>7076031
This goes for you and everyone feeling left behind by friends that are studying/working.
I started a economics degree after I finished high school at 19, lasted 2 months and spent the rest of the year at home playing wow and staying up til morning, then tried again next year and did the same thing, my father was diagnosed with cancer and died in 7 months, this was 4 years ago, now I´m studying marketing and PR, I was really depressed back then, got heavy anxiety every time I had to go to class or talk with someone, now I feel super comfortable with my class mates, crack jokes and go to class everyday pretty happy, I´ve been with this girl for 2 and a half years and we are living together now, what I´m saying is:
1 Shit gets better
2 Its never too late to study, you wont feel weird

This wallpaper reminds me of those nights I played vidya till morning and I realized the time when it started to get bright in my room, it wasnt healthy or good for me but man it was comfy.
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I recently got back with a girl I dated for seven years. I'm still afraid she'll leave again.
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>>7076994
Put your pants on, go get some food, buy that expensive chips you never get, get some chocolate too and a nice drink, come back home, get warm with a blanket and play some vidya, watch a show or something you enjoy, I recommend the office if you havent seen it yet.
>>
>>7077020
A lot of times you are so worried about being funny and likeable that people percive that you are not comfortable and think its their fault, that you dont like them and just leave you be.
just b urself
>>
>>7077806
Do other shit, learn programming, study stuff for yourself, watch docus, dont feel obligated to do your thing.
>>
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I just wish that I was stronger. I have my lady to provide for and pretty soon we'll have children. There's so much I want out of life and the only person who will ever make any of it happen is me. Finally got out of my depressed/obsessed slump and can think clearly for the first time in my adult life. Just wish I was more efficient at getting everything done. Also keto flu is beating me like a bitch right now.
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I'm in love with my closest friend
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>>7076989
You like to wallow in your depression. There's nothing romantic in killing yourself. It's pathetic. If you actually want your life to improve you will find a way.
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>>7076215
In a similar boat my friend.
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I spent a lot of money on one girl, I thought we were together, but I found out that she wanted to friendzone me since the start, while I wanted her to be happy every single day. That's why I spent so much money - every day, be it a meaI or some gift - it was something unique. I was there for her every time she needed help etc. Then on our last "date" she tells me that she want to do something bad to ex-gf of one guy that I know, because she destroys her life plan. The same night she went somewhere else and used so much ecstasy drug that there was no way of talking to her for lik 3-4 days. Then she tells me that she really likes me, but not that much. Thing is, that other guy is known stalker, weaboo and is ugly as fuck. Not that I'm some Adonis or whatever, but she met him like 3 times and she calls occasional sex with him love, while all i did for her meant nothing. I'm not angry that she left, but more because I invested time and money into someone unworthy.
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I love you all you fucking faggots

I hope we're all going to make it one day
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>>7076031
Congratulations friend. Something people never tell us is that life is really, really fucking hard. Find a community (check out meetup), find some friends, and try again tomorrow. You're strong, you can do this!
>>
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After seeing some of the shit people have been through in these threads I usually end up feeling really shitty that I feel the way I do. I have no good reason to be depressed. Yes, there's been some shitty things happen in my life but nothing extraordinary, and I've been quite lucky in some things. And yet here I am. Lonely and depressed, no more goals or ambition. I'll never be a girl, I'll never even be an attractive guy, I'm rapidly approaching 25 and I feel like I've lost the last six and a half years of my life. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that I'll get to visit some beautiful places, but if I do I'll have to go by myself and that makes me wonder if it's worth it. I've almost given up and I'm trying hard not to, but I don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't want to die but I'm not sure if I want to live either. I don't know. It just sucks.

I hope everyone gets through what they're going through. There's always tomorrow.
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I lay awake at night praying i don't wake up. I'm waiting for my family to leave on holidays where i'll be alone at home and I think i might kill myself a day before they come back because my pets still need to be fed.
>>
>>7078066
Don't do that. Your pets will miss you.
>>
I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship. Regardless, I stay because i love my kids.
I don't know who I am anymore. I haven't had a friend in so long. I'm afraid to try and talk to people and make friends, for fear of having to tell them I'm not allowed to talk to them because of my relationship.

I wish I had the courge to leave.
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I just lost my best friend, my young dog, about 4 weeks ago, to her terminal disease. After she was diagnosed with a rare heart disease, almost died, and then got better for a few months, I began to hope and believe she would be okay. But one night she took a turn for the worse, and after she was gone my life was so empty. I keep "seeing" her everywhere, having dreams of hugging her one last time, I miss talking to her. She was my bf and I's life, and now our hearts are empty. We have each other, but our baby made our lives so full. She was such a precious girl.
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>Move from California to Colorado with close relative and his newly made family
>Eventually become homeless because I can't figure out a living situation
>Live in my unregistered car with no license, insurance, or plates
>Spend most of the winter that way
>Meet girl at work, we start dating
>Same relative offers to move in to a new apartment with me
>Have my name on a lease now, pay rent, love my coworkers and my new romance is great
>Gf and I are caught in a lie that my Uncle's wife makes up
>This lie ruins my relationship with my uncle
>Friend from home town in Cali moves out here to get a place with GF and I
>We search, find, and move in to a place in Denver
>Get a new job that pays a little more, really easy, and my boss is the shit
>Then my mom tells me my Dad will more than likely die soon because they found a cancerous tumour in his neck, inoperable
>Agree to go see him for two weeks while he's still in early stages and can drive, speak, etc.
>Spend two drunken weeks with my parents
>Come home with $3,000 loan that my grandparents offered me to fix my car
>Come back, GF and I are having fights now and I quit my job for no real reason other than I could
>Start staying home and getting drunk, this lasts for a month straight
>Can't pay rent
>Do the same thing next month, still can't pay rent
>Have no real idea why my work ethic disappeared and I am apathetic about everything that isn't beer or video games
>Now I owe my roommates and GF a total of $800
>Start going through jobs like candy, can't seem to muster up the motivation to be there on time or for every shift
>Buy a beer after cashing a check
>GF goes apeshit and breaks up with me
>Haven't spoken to my grandparents since I got back three months ago
>My dad is so far along now that they stopped therapy and he has multiple holes in his neck from the tumour spreading, plus food tube
>Can't talk on the phone because he sounds like he's gargling marbles
I'm in a deep hole and its all my fault.
>>
>>7076460
As hard as it is, often times you have to make your own light at the end of the tunnel. If you can trick yourself or convince yourself to do so, make next weekend a time for new things, whatever that may be.
>>
>>7078075
Does anybody know your situation other than yourself? Knowledge is power, they might be able to help you.
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tldr, just realized i've been living in an abusive family after my partner pointed it out to me. still struggling to accept the fact. i wish i could glitch away and de-exist myself, if that's a thing. i hate knowing the truth, i hate the fact that they did things that i'll never be able to let go, i hate that i'm basically conditioned in such a way to feel guilt and expect nothing but horrible things in this world.

i don't fit anywhere, i don't even know why the fuck i'm still living. i used my partner to get out from this horrible reality i live in and it's all my fault. i'm not a fucking good person and....it's best that i just go and die, right anons? at least by that way i won't be a burden to them or anyone else in this world.
>>
>>7078089
How old are you? I'd say just fuck it and join the military. Use the money they pay you to repay loans
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>my junior by 1 year
>gets a job 1 year after I do
>one of his regular customers trades accounts
>pic related
>friend works there 2 years
>accounts bro flips him a job offer
>triples his salary
>account commissions
>expenses
>travel
>bro-tier coworkers/boss

just keep chipping away
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>>7076031
For the last 4 years, I have done everything to become the best possible version of myself. By comparison everyone I know has not changed, and they don't want to. I can't find a single person in my age range who is actively trying to improve themselves.
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>>7076031
There are ups and downs to everything
you just gotta go out and do something and stick to it
it takes initial effort to make a change

>phd student, final exams tomorrow
>program set up so if you get below a B you fail a course
>if you fail a course you cant take next semester's classes due to prerequisites
>takes a whole year of waiting and youre moved to a new cohort of people
>already moved away from friends and gf
>living alone, don't want to lose the people who I consider friends again from a fuckup on grades
>panic attack earlier today
>still studying but i cut the coffee to relax
>>
>>7078075
tell someone about it
go see a therapist at the least
>>
>>7076479
I'm sorry.
You'd do best to try to move on.
>>
I slept with my boss because I am horribly insecure. I try my best at work but I am scared of failure and making mistakes.

I fell in love and now we just fight.
>>
A couple of months ago, my stepfather was arrested on suspicion of lewd and lascivious behavior around a minor (my 11 yo autistic sister).

I never really liked the guy, he was a convicted felon who had spent the better part of 3 decades behind bars for murder. But he treated my mom right and it seemed as though he had righted his ways. T His, however, turned me against him completely. He's still in jail awaiting trial and is not allowed to see or talk to any of us.

Not long after, the court deemed it necessary to remove my sister from the household, labeling our house as unsafe and unfit for the child. My mother has completely disregarded my stepdad (restraining order, divorce proceedings, etc.), and is fighting to get my sister back. But every thing we do isn't good enough for CPS, and they keep finding the smallest details and throwing it way out of proportion. it seems like they never want us to have her back.

I just want my sister back, anons. I miss her.
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Currently the only stress in my life is work. I'm a banker and looking to move out of the industry and into IT. I understand employers hesitate with considering me because I am going from a sales & service job into purely desktop support(oversimplifying of course). That I understand.

I'm currently working on obtaining a certification for CompTIA A+ and trying to go back to school and at least get an AS in that respective field.

I'm just frustrated that it seems like all of this work isn't generating anything. Also finances is a huge constraint for me as well, I have a lot of calls from collectors which I'm having a tough time keeping up. Idk, I have a plan x which is leave my job and cash out on my 401k and use that as a reset financially. But again, that's my last resort.

Thanks for having this thread, I feel better now that I've let it off my chest.
>>
>>7078263
You gotta be brave to change jobs just because you want to, I respect that.
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>>7076031
My grandpa is dying slowly due to Alzheimers and the fact that he's 91 years old.

I know he might never remember who I am to him, but I will never stop loving and respecting the person he is. I just hope is passing will be peaceful.
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I love my life, it's pretty awesome right now. I'm a student with very few obligations left, I have a great relationship, a cushy apartment, money flowing in from my parents, a lot of friends and even more creative outlets. Next year will be the year where I have to put one of those creative outlets into making money, and I fear to death that I won't be able to and this will be the point where it all falls apart.
>>
>>7076823
>and told me she intentionally picked a birth control that killed her sex drive because I didn't satisfy her

the actual fuck? good thing she's an ex-
>>
>>7076479
Been here a couple of months ago, try actively dating & shit time will help but you will feel like shit for a while
>>7076031
Finished a friendship with a guy ikn for two years , i considered him my best friend but i only now realised how shallow he is ( He lives with his poor parents but he doesnt bother to take money to buy expensive clothing just to look rich , also talks with my ex behind my back)
Loneliness is kicking in but i think i will be alright
>>
>>7078250
I wouldn't want to see that child put into a house like yours, I'm dreadfully sorry.
Maybe find out where they are housing your sister, and go visit her every now and then. She probably misses you to.

Get her side of the story and present it to CPS.
>>
>>7076214
I've been hangin out with my 1,5 y/o niece today and it's getting more and more fun. Take it easy and be patient buddy. You'll be fine. (yea yea easy as an uncle, but still!)
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>>7076215
>>7076821
>>7077910
>>7076606

Try letting go of the age idea. I'm 28 and 21 is forever ago and I've felt like I've been at the start of things or too old for everything and back and forth again. Right now I actually feel like everything sucks and nothing is gonna ever work out actually, haha. But it'll get better again. Keep moving though, to get good things going you're gonna need momentum. Try focusing on the good things and maybe let go of some things that drag you down. Most things in your life now won't be present any longer at all in 5 years, except for family and real close friends. Oh and get your ass out of your room kid. Or when you're in there anyway, use that time to learn or create something. Play less video games and stop browsing so much. Really, /wg/ is all you need. Start talking to strangers, too. You'll be surprised how much fun it is to be a local at a bar or coffee place.

Also I know you probably feel like you're too late to do certain things but god damn will you be happy you started doing that thing 7 years ago once you finally turn 28.

Oh yeah one last thing, don't be so fucking afraid to fail. Everyone does it all the time it's fine. Just try hard when you can and be okay with it when you fuck up. Just keep swimming.

Have fun kids
>>
>>7076403
Logistical reasons? Are you gonna be deported if you tell?
>>
>>7076420
Whatever dude. Stop dwelling on the past. Who fucking cares. Only and some have beens. Anyway stop spending all your cash on beer and put that money in a jar and don't use it for a year and then go do something fucking awesome. Or set a goal amount of money or whatever. If your work sucks at least make it worth the while.

Anyway you knew that already. Good luck have fun!
>>
>>7076889
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get your ass to work you fucking asshole. You're no longer responsible for just your own sorry ass. Don't fuck some innocent kid up. Stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself and take up your fucking responsibility.
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>>7076179
The feels..
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>>7077018
Sorry for you anon. Stay strong and show some love to all parties involved.
>>
>>7077020
just grab a beer with them it will be fine
>>
>>7077784
Oh man, that sucks. Try moving from the things that you can't change on to things that you can change. Like get in shape and stuff. Also, don't worry about the job man, you'll get it. There's absolutely no function to thinking you won't get it before you've even started other than getting yourself a confirmation bias complex. Stop saying this to yourself and others as though it's a solid truth.
>>
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>>7078055
Mid-twenties crisis, I feel your pain. Don't worry, you'll laugh at your own struggles once you get your late-twenties crisis. Anyway, don't tell yourself you're not entitled to your insecurities. Let's have some fun in 2018 yeah?

Random pape here I don't actually know what I selected
>>
I have everything I could possibly need and then some, but no motivation to do anything. Every day is another day of wasted potential because I'm either too lazy to get whatever done or too introverted to try something out. I'm 19 now, and can't help but feel like so far I've burnt the best years of my life away playing Vidya and waxing my carrot. All I want now is someone besides my mom to wake up to and a reason to rest at the end of the day.
>>
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>>7078075
Oh man I've been there. I know this is very hard, but FUCK what your partner wants from you man. She or he probably has got you manipulated to the point where you actually believe and emotionally feel their bullshit, but you HAVE to listen to your own heart and listen to that voice inside that knows that they are full of fucking shit FUCK this makes me pissed haha, good luck friend I fucking wish you all the strength you can find I know you'll need it.
>>
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>>7078075
Oh yeah and start telling your friends who you've probably been hiding your feelings from for this other person's sake. It's very important that you start communicating your own truth to them anon. Godspeed.
>>
>>7078154
It's not all that binary as there being good persons and bad persons duderino. That's the movie/religious/fairytale industry that's been fucking up reality with dumbed down conventional moralities. You're a person and sometimes you fuck up and sometimes you do some pretty okay stuff and your life is not at its end yet and you have all the time in the world to still do some great stuff. You are not one solidified thing. Try to stop saying "I am this and this" and start saying "I have been this and this".
>>
>>7078181
As one of those people: sorry man. I look up to you. Please don't give up on me yet, I've had my struggles even though I shouldn't use that as an excuse for everything. I'm trying, really. I'll try a bit harder yet for you starting now.
>>
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For the first time in my life, I'd say its more bad than good.

>I think I may love a girl I met this past summer who probably don't give a damn about me now, and I fear she wont want to see me over Christmas break
>I keep putting off all my reading for my exams
>I feel my country is dying politically because the people now enjoy and almost get high off causing each other distress and insulting each other more than the mature cooperative behavior necessary for effective governance and retention of our global position. My countrymen all seem to claim they have tried to understand their political opponent's point of view but few have made any actual effort, and most just scratch their heads and say "I wonder how things got so polarized" before shitting on their peers on Facebook because to them, it is inconceivable that they may just be part of the problem.
>I take my mind off my fear that with the political, economic, and eventual military decay of the United States and the emergence of a China-SCO led world order, an incessantly dark era of neo-colonialism and mercantilism will emerge as near every international human rights gain made since 1945 is lost, and perhaps the UN itself dissolves with the end of global liberalism.
>It would seem much of humanity is in some sort of midlife crisis since we didn't all get flying cars the second it became the new millennium, so now everyone is trying pathetically to relive their glory days. We have fake Reagan and the Brits have fake Thatcher, the whole Arab Nationalism thing went to shit so now the Muslims are reminiscent for the caliphates of old, Russia has a czar again and the Turks a sultan.
>I am cold near all the time, and lonely the rest.
>I am relapsing back into excessive faping as a side effect of my reduced state.
>an old and dear friend is moving to Maine, I will probably never see him again since he is sort of a recluse.

>I will never own or fly an F-14 Tomcat, which is what I want to do more than anything.
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Haven't felt this secure in myself for a long time, ever really since I broke up with my ex
But at the same time I'm facing the start of my Masters education, and I need to fix shit for it
But for some reason I'm somewhat afraid to really begin with it, because it would mean starting with the rest of my life and with all the uncertainties that come with it
I found a girl that really likes me and while I like her as well, I feel that something just doesn't feel right
>>
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>>7076460
I'm going through the same exact thing, don't worry.
>>
I'm feeling pretty good. I've struggled with really bad self image and confidence and its slowly starting to get better. I can see positives in my self now and I just recently got my first job. School is hard but I'm trying my ass off so I feel proud about what I've accomplished. I really wanna gain weight and start going to the gym and just accomplish more. It's weird because my ex who I was head over heels for left me for another guy and I haven't really been feeling to bummed out about it or as lost as I expected. It feels really good writing this down.
>>
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Hey peeps. I'm just gonna spill out a bit. Sorry if it's messy.

I'm a workaholic ER doctor and Jesus fucking christ. it's both horrible and great at the same time. I love that I'm helping people everyday although my specialty (which is toxins, if you care) is basically never used. But it's also really, really stressful. Like imagine having an exam, without having studied, while high on heroin. Multiplied by 3. I also have basically no social life. Which is great.

I'm making good money though. Which is fun.
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18, have no family & living with my girlfriend who i'm on/off with. my lifes changed so much in the past two years and no going back makes me want to suicide
>>
>>7076215
>>7076606
>>7076821
>>7077910

This is fairly similar to my position but its a little different, I'm >>7078728

I actually really like my majors and have passion for it (Political Science with a focus in International Relations as well as a Home Land Security major) but it seems to me the world is so rapidly changing for the worse my efforts will be futile, and the news my research confronts me with depresses me. Its weird having your passion be your downfall.
>>
>>7078088
I've tried to break it off once, but I felt so terrible afterward. Truth is, I don't even think he knows what he is going or how abusive it has become.
It's gotten to the point where I don't talk to anyone, hell, I'm afraid to talk to myself.
I'm so lonely.
>>
>>7078777
Even though things are rough, and you are off and on with this girl, be glad you have her and appreciate her man. There is nothing I want more these days than someone with who I could share that sort of intimate relationship, but there are so few women I even find myself wanting to maybe share that with and even less that would be willing to considering sharing that with me.
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>>7078819
you want things until you have them. we're on and off because i'm severely depressed and gender dysphoric. I make her happy because I never will be so it doesn't matter to me anywhere.

A girlfriend isn't really hard to 'get'
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>>7078822
Of course not, thats not what I was saying. But one worth having can be, at least for me. She sounds like she isn't worth having if she feeds off your misery, I am sorry to hear that that's the dynamic of your relationship, thats gotta be rough.
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>>7078824
my own fault for going into it. my own fault for fucking some freak girl before her to lose my virginity in hopes id want to be a guy

i think for your situation, good friendships and distractions are better than girls
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>>7076031
I think I have autism. I'm a full time student, 23, living at home with my dad. I've done a bit of research, I pretty much meet every symptom, I haven't told anyone. It explains a lot of things about me in my life, many events link together to autism and connect to form a web, it all makes sense. I don't know what I should do to confirm, I'm afraid to tell anyone, I don't know how it will change things. It's crippling.
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>>7078827
Good friendships and distractions are all I have, but friends, even those as great and loyal as mine (I am very fortunate at least in that regard), cant give that certain whimsical intimacy a girl can give. Don't get me wrong, I like smoking parliaments and talking shit with my guys, but theres more to life than that sort of shit.

Also I am glad you mentioned that about the freak girl. I've long withheld from losing my virginity for losing my virginity's sake alone but have been thinking about doing that lately to get it over with. This reminds me why I shouldn't.
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>>7077832
>>7077832
Same here man , WoW was my life in highschool
>never really had any good friends, just acquaintances
>only happyness was coming back home, getting comfy and playing wow
>school ended for the summer
>come home, bought some dew on the way back
>get comfy and play until sunrise
>sat at my window at 6 am watching the sunrise as I smoked a joint
>that sound of the distant highway

never told anybody irl but i think i had a pretty shit depression phase where i tried to kill myself a few times
the internet was there for me when nobody was the worst and best years of my life I tell you
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>>7078831
Don't get it confirmed, if you have made it to 23 without having it be you have nothing to gain from that except maybe extra test time, and everything to lose. It could throw you into a depression, or worse become an involuntary scapegoat that lets you excuse not overcoming your challenges in life. I am an awkward guy who likes weird shit and have had the sneaking suspicion from time to time, but decided the risk is just too damn high.
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>>7078846
That's the dilemma I'm having. If I do have it, then it explains a lot of the problems I have had. My social awkwardness, inability to read social situations, my discomfort in any public situation, my reason for not being able to hold down a job. I want to be able to have a reason for the negative things happening in my life, to tell my parents there's a reason that I don't live up to my older brothers in life, but I also don't want it to control my life. I feel like for now, it would be the best thing for me to be able to tell them, but maybe not the best thing in the long run. I just don't know, man.
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>>7078870
Well, I'd do it if your parents are like seriously riding your ass about not being accomplished enough, and the threat of being kicked out becomes imminent. While this is anecdotal and by no means a scientific sample, I know two guys with very, very, slight autism, as in slight enough that they have normal and have had normal girlfriends. One of the guys has been aware hes had it his whole life, and the other found out later (in middle school perhaps). The first guy would seem to not let it impair him at all in accomplishing what he wants to accomplish in life, I would theorize because he has always known hes had it and as a known variable in his life it pre-emanates the difficulty and confusion all people face with age. The other who found out later, while he has had friends and relationships has had markedly less than the former, and has developed no new ones since we graduated high school. He has come to blame this increasingly on his autism, but I've known the guy since 2014 and only learned of his autism this year. It is so slight with him you could even postulate its a misdiagnosis. I am not telling you to not get it confirmed, I don't know the intricacies of your situation. But it would seem to me to be something to very seriously mull over. Do it if you absolutely must, but if you can get by without it you really probably should.
>>
I told a girl in my class that I felt like dying, slightly more figuratively than literally, and she told me not to kill myself. I just feel like trash because I have a lot of regrets in my life so far, and I feel like I'm slowing down behind while everyone I know is moving up. I want to learn things like a programming language and how to play violin, but I guess I'm not motivated or something. I also wish I could talk to girls.
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I'm lonely. Its been more than a year since I've even been on a date with a girl. I try going out to bars and using tinder but I can't even find a girl who will go out on a date with me. I know this sounds petty compared to some of the people in this thread but it hurts not being wanted
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>>7078697
Meant that in the best way possible by the way. Thought that was what you need to hear. You can do it anon.
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I left my girlfriend because i started fucking another girl. this girl's boyfriend is in the military and a ketamine junkie. I grow more and more paranoid every day, scared that one day i'll bump into him and get killed. It also doesn't help that me and his girlfriend are starting to develop feelings for eachother, but she has no chance of leaving anytime soon because he keeps pressuring her with suicide threats.
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I feel like a lot of the time I have something wrong with me. I wouldn't say it's diagnosable, though maybe it is, I'm not a doctor, but it's enough to make me wish I was 'normal'.
I don't know what it is, maybe anxiety? Depression? I just know my mental state fluctuates a lot, causing me to do impulsive/self-destructive/anti-social things.
I've got plenty of things going for me; I'm healthy, I exercise a lot, I'm more attractive than average. I have good friends, I live in a great city, and generally I enjoy life. But a small fraction of the time, I honestly wish I could trade all of the positive attributes I have now for a feeling of 'normality'.

I got over most of my personality problems when I came to uni. Taking myself out of my comfort zone was the best thing I ever did.
I don't regret 'wasting' some of my teen years being shy and introverted, I'm glad I'm a different person now. There's nothing I can do to change the past.
What bothers me is that no matter how much I've changed, and how infrequently I feel like my old self, I still get episodes of bad thoughts, unhealthy habits and taking some weird pleasure in being solitary. Although I've become more sociable/confident and learned to control my problems, they still come back from time to time.
I know it's good to have alone time, but sometimes I just blow off casual social engagements, telling myself it's because of money, time, work etc but really it's just because a small part of me deep down is scared of not being good enough, and so I revert to my old self because it feels safe.

I hope I can get over it one day, it's just so hard though.
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>>7078714
yeah, you might be right anon. changing this mindset isn't gonna be easy but....let's give it a go and see what i can do from there. i have someone that care about me and is willing to help me get out of here, i just need to step up and find a way to. secretly, if i have to.
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>>7078688
I'm in my first semester of college. I've been working at a nearby Subway a lot and when i wasn't working or at school i tried to relax and play a game or do something with my room mate. Ended up getting really busy and forgot about some assignments, kinda fucked myself over a bit. I'm just going to count this as a rough start and focus more my second semester.
>Don't be so fucking afraid to fail
This actually just helped out my mentality a lot right now.
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>>7079135
Well something worked. An opportunity fell out of the sky. I'd been trying for 2 months and had multiple interviews and no calls back. Hopefully I can start making my way to a better paycheck once I get settled. Appreciate you telling me what I would've told myself if I wasn't so depressed. You're a good person.
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>>7076471
cant you try to get some distance between you? less daily contact so there isnt much of her bullshit
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>>7076482
have been this going for long? maybe the broke up is still very recent.
hope that gets better
>>
After redpills I became utterly frustrated about modern society and stuff, and I really started thinking about converting to Catholic Faith. The perspective of battling with my sexualized mind (right now I have about 10-12 days of nofap, for the past two years had 3 attempts of 30+days of nofap) confuses me. I believe in God, and really want to start practicing my faith, but I'm really unconfident of myself.
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>>7077946
Went through something similar
Kinda 50/50 blame, on one hand you should defo talk about this (either way it might lead to the same thing, atleast you can own up to it), however you've got to ask yourself why you're doing this to yourself: with me it was I was comfortable with the tidal wave of a shitty situation I was in, so kept on with it bc I was scared of going into an unknown situation, so I continued in a selfish effort to reduce a stupid fear.

Talk to her, come to terms with your own emotions, and desu the harder you are on yourself the easier you'll be able to move on from such an unhealthy situation
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I was groomed as a kid. I was around 8 or 9. It wasn't violent or anything like that, he wasn't immediate family so it's not as traumatizing as it being your father or something I guess. It went on for a couple of summers then I got too old for him. I never told anyone because I'm a good obedient kid that can keep a secret. I got over it alone after years of believing I'm the dumbest most naive kid on the planet, then I was in denial I was completely fine and it was all in the past then I was peer pressured into dating and it happened again except it hurt this time and I was 18. I felt stupid again. I'm fine now but I've begun to notice these small issues I never noticed before like how I can't be honest with my parents about anything or how I never seem capable of saying what I'm actually feeling and how fake I feel when I'm socializing because usually I'm the loud funny I enjoy being this person but is it really me?

I think I wrote a lot and maybe it won't be read but feels good to talk about all of it for the first time
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>>7078202
>>7078309
Just talked to her and she said she wants to continue talking but that we should take a brake until I don't have any more feelings for her. So in other words, I'll never talk to her again.
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>>7079397
lots of typos there, I sound too dramatic too. Oh well.
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2017 was so fuckin bad, i lost the girl of my dreams, lost my dream job, my car was set on fire, at the moment im living with my old roommate and we are just playing guild wars 2 for days. Ive never feel so weak and im really afraid to go outside. My friends and family still support me and they try to help me, but im not rly sure i want to help myself.
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I'm failing uni hard. My girlfriend is an LDR and that ontop of failing grades is making life pretty rough.
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>>7079434
Dude you got this don't even worry. Was in a similar position as you two years ago. It's hard, and it takes a while, but the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Just do one new thing a day or week that gets you back into a regular rhythm of where you once were
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>>7076191
I had a seizure due to alcohol withdrawl and now I'm 4 months sober and the future is looking bright.

It may seem hard now but trust me getting rid of an addiction is one of the best feelings you can have. Keep it up! It may seem tough and like a real grind now but it gets easier with time.
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1 year and a half ago I fucked up. I used to go out with a super nice girl for 4 years. Somehow I felt I didn't truly love here but didn't talk to her about it, at last I began to make mistakes. Eventually I cheated on her while being drunk, proud on the moment but in tears the following morning. I was not sure if I had to tell her, my best friend said"no" so I didn't and just broke up using some excuse.
I end up going out with the other girl, she is nice but not as much as the previous one. After some months the ex-gf finds out and takes it real bad. After moving away to study, I break up with the second girl because it doesn't work anymore.
Some months ago during the summer, my best friend becomes crazy at me for no reason during a party and decides to tell the ex-gf I had cheated on her. In the process I lose my best friend.
Some time ago I was speaking with another guy, about how we both planned to "wait to meet the girl of our lives". Realized right on the spot that the girl in question may well be the ex-gf. Now I feel like I want to go and try it a second time with her but I'm not sure she loves me anymore. Been too much of an ass I guess.

I feel like a lot of men went through this kind of stuff or are going through it now. Don't be too picky with your love relationships ; if you're happy in some way then continue to make it work. You don't know how many nice girls you'll meet in your life, so it's just like a casino game : if you win, maybe you better stop right here rather than play again.
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The problem with me is that i've become pretty numb. There's nothing to get off my chest besides the fact that there's nothing to get off my chest. I used to be a happy kid (19 now, still a kid) but depersonalization got me and my feelings fucked, now life seems meaningless. I just wish i was more involved and my life had more variety.. My main goal is owning a rental property and feeling some financial security, maybe after that try to connect more with my friends and family, get into therapy, and slowly brighten my life up.
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She will never love me, î know that she knows that, yet I can't stop dreaming about her, she probably never think of me I think of her every night and day, I can't find any interest in other girls because I compare them to her, I am lonely without her. I thought if I tell her and stop seeing her I'll forget her.
It has been 8 months nothing has changed
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My life has become so melancholic and desolate. I keep going through the motions. I have one close friend and a few others. No gf, I gave up after the last girl I was with but I have some girl ive been using for sex, telling her we're in a relationship. I go to school and get average grades and go to a job where I preform averagely. I would get a lot of enjoyment from vidyas but they've become so lack luster. I launch a game get board and stare into space for the rest of the night. Everything seems so dull.
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Have extremely high risk of testicular cancer, either get them removed and no kids, or try for kids and go for check ups every 3 months. Gf too young to want kids, could be my last chance.
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Thought to add on to your original bro, you're not alone, you're speaking my soul right now...Thank you.
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She only seems to want me when we're both drunk. I can't even get myself to confront her over it. I don't know how to express my emotions, but I feel too disassociated to do anything but hope that it changes by itself.
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>>7076031
Just got a gf :D
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Thought a poetry code take may work; you're not alone. Build.
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I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years last year. I still can't seem to get over it, I honestly thought I'd marry her. I have no hobbies and I can't form connections with others. This year has literally flown by and I feel like I'm just waiting for something-anything to happen. I thought I'd formed something with another, but it doesn't seem like that's going anywhere. All I want is a pretty girl who's broken like I am.
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Everything I've felt pride in accomplishing finds a way to lose it's glory and manages to become a battle scar.
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>>7079874
You will find something you're interested in, it just takes time. Don't give up.

>All I want is a pretty girl who's broken like I am

No you don't. You may think you do, but having two people together like that breeds mistrust and and a lot of times more unhappiness in the end.
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>>7079724
froze some of them fuckers meng, or go on check ups, dont close the door yet
>>7079874
i broke with my gf last september, and the best thing i did was to lay low 5-6 months. It gave me new reasons to live, new look on life and better self awareness. Dont jump on new relationship just for the sake of it.
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Been feeling like my life isnt worth it and im really just a failure. Decided to finally get some therapy to do something about it.
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I leave the Army in 3 months, I still don't know what I want to do in life. I feel no matter what I will always be miserable. Every day I struggle not to make a mistake that would end my life, at the same time I welcome death, I just want peace.
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Having to go through some shit with a long time friend. Feel like I've been putting way too much into the relationship (i.e dropping everything to take her to a dance) Maybe it's just bc we used to be a thing but idk. Moving out to college after Christmas and worried I won't have anyone to get close to.
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>>7080005
gay as shit
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>>7080014
C'mon man, take a look at the rest of the thread. Not the time nor the place for that kinda shit.
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A woman taught me how to love for real... it was all perfect except for its timing.
Everything went shit, I gave up everything important for her, she spiraled down with guilt.
I was ready to take on the world for her, she didn't have the courage for it all... we fell apart.
I... waited... but every time we seem to be getting that old spark back, she immediately shies away. we were stuck on a loop.
Eventually another woman fell for me, she was cute, smart, and all. she tried to cheer me up every time. we are together now.
Don't get me wrong, I love her.
But every time I am alone, when I am lying on my back. I can't help myself not to think about that girl who taught me that nothing goes perfect no matter how well you planned things out. the woman that asked me silly questions that I would only keep inside my head. That woman who taught how it is to be really fall in love.
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I should be back on my feet by now.
It's been 2 years since she took everything and moved to the other side of the country.
I'm finally out of debt after going through job after job in a dying town.
Everyone I miss moved away. Everyone who wants me, I want nothing to do with.
I don't know how to be happy anymore. Just filling the void by staying home on my days off.
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>>7076031

I'm basically a hermit, the only reason I leave my place is to go to a job I fucking hate but I'm afraid to quit because it's the only thing I have going for me, and because I have a relative who needs my assistance.
>>
i have made so many bad social decisions i can no longer be a normal human anymore. that with the intense amount of work (finical Controller managing 4 multi millon dollar business 56hr weeks) and then gyming 5 days aweek solo. the only person i talk to is my gf. who lives and trains with me
i have no friends and it hurts
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Took this photo myself.

Going through life thinking no woman will ever show an interest in me, even after I made changes to myself for the better.

It eats at me. Everyday gets harder
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>>7077995
Do you have that pape in higher res?
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>>7076403 same here buddy. for me it's asses, she doesn't even have to be beauty, just a good ass. Had female friends in the past,
and one i was really close to,
+self-distructive behavior so...
now it's just me and my hand.
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I'm 30 and I'm sick. I can't hold down a job, I've failed out of college twice, all of my IRL friends have ditched me, and I'm living with my elderly parents. I feel isolated and useless and a waste of life.

That's not the shitty part.

The shitty part is my parents are hoarders. The house is filthy. I can't get a job so I have no money to move out. But the longer I stay in this house, the sicker I get. I'm trapped in a situation with no escape that's slowly killing me.

Every day, I fantasize about the day my parents are gone, and I can sell this house and have money to live on my own, someplace clean. I love them, so it's not that I want them to die, but I still feel guilty even thinking about it.
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I want to feel happy and somewhat satisfied with life. Most importantly, I want to smile again like I used to back then.
Winter this year has been extremely tough but I have to keep a strong front to not let it get to me for my family's sake.
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i follow a few streamers with a tiny fanbase. i barely interact but feel left out if i miss their streams. i constantly check their socials to see any updates in their lives. and i have nothing going on with my own
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I got multiple job offers in a week and chose (wrongly) the corporate front-end developer instead of the junior developer in a start-up, now feel like shit because I can't motivate myself to move across the country to do a job I may not want to do.
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>>7077841
not original anon but i did all this and thank u
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>Grandfather died four days before my wedding.
>Found out he's taken around 80k from me and didn't even know the money existed.
>Found out my mother wasn't batshit crazy, and that my grandparents lied and manipulated me throughout my life.
>Land, assets, WW2 era family heirlooms, all of it.
>Find all this out the month leading up to his death.
>His sister threatened to take everything away when all I wanted was some privacy with who I called my father, he and my grandma raised me for 12 years.
>It's been 7 months.
>She didn't take care over any of his hospital bills, nor close any accounts out. The bitch even had his funeral while my wife and I went on our honeymoon. Just trying to be newlyweds.
>I don't understand how the world works.
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>>7078758
>
almost all healthcare specialists dont take care of themselves
consider swapping to part time and teach as a professor for a bit, maybe do some research
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gf left me some days ago
I tried my best until the end and I treated her like a princess but it didn't work. She just got tired of me as every other girl has done previously
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I'm currently one of the youngest enrolled students in MIT, I'm doing a doctorate early on, I've made a few hundred million in company takeovers and civil engineering consultancy. I have a wonderful fiance. I'm totally an absolutely in love with her, devoted to her. I have property in Iceland, two apartments in Cambridge, MA, expensive cars. I'm a relatively simple man, so is my fiance. I'm essentially set for life. I'm the sole male in a family of almost a dozen females. I'm considered a lone provider for my whole family. I have expectations from my jobs, from school. Sometimes I feel like I have no one to ask me how I'm doing. People want money, help, aid. My friend was attacked and permanently paralysed. I covered all of his bills, over a million dollars, and helped his family buy a 1 floor house. I didn't expect anything. I helped. I never said anything to anyone. I don't have a minute to breathe during the day. There's always something, or another. I just can't stand it anymore. I started talking to a girl, and we'd escape in eachother. It wasn't sexual, or romantic. It was just a release. We started falling for eachother, so I've lost her too. I feel so alone. I could never say these things to my fiance, because it would absolutely kill her. If it were just her and me, no more work or school, I'd not have these complaints. I can't abandon my coworkers, or my family, or my friends. I'd leave an irreplaceable void in their lives. The guilt of which would consume me. I want someone to take care of me. I want to snuggle back into her arms, and forget about my life. It'll never happen again, and it hurts me so. I suppose my issue is that I claim too much responsibility. If not me, who else?
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>>7080341
And worst of all, my little sister was diagnosed with leukemia. It's myeloid. Less than 50% 5 year survival rate. She was the apple of my eye when we were growing up. So beautiful.
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I'm in love with a girl in my class who's got a boyfriend, up till now, I've never been close to a girl, not even as friends, but I somehow managed to become friends with her, but lately I've been too nervous to talk to her, worried that I might fuck it up, or ruin her relationship with her boyfriend since she seems happy with him, I feel like I'm doing something evil.
The worst thing about all this is that year's of solitude have made it hard for me to like other people. hell, there was a time when I thought that I was gay since it's been years since I had feelings for a girl.
I love her, this is the first time I felt such an attraction to a girl, I just love everything about her, I love her voice, her smile, her personality, her cute little face and the she's always trying to hide her shyness.
Whenever I get close to her, I feel like I don't deserve her, I can't even say anything unless she starts talking, she's the only worthwhile girl that has ever acknowledged me, she makes me feel better about myself.

But I keep thinking about what might happen if my low self confidence got the better out of me, or my hatred for people, for "normies", or even my lack of trust in other people, even those that I consider close to me.

Or my fucked up childhood.

Reading what I just wrote, it reads like a damn mess, It's just that I don't know how to explain my thoughts well.
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>>7077436
Marburg?
Nürnberg?
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I recently moved back to my hometown after a couple years in Denver. They were the best years of my short life. I discovered myself and so many new things and I didn't want to let them go. Now I'm back in my home town with my 2 loser roommates and I just can't seem to figure out how to achieve the life I want. I know what I want but I just don't know how to get there. On top of that the usual girl problems, and I just feel myself becoming slowly more isolated from everything. I know I'm holding myself back but I just don't know how to let go and continue on. I stay up too late doing nothing just scared of the coming day where I know I'll be doing nothing. On top of that I left my job because they weren't giving enough hours and now I have no job and bills are due and I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been out of high school since 2014 and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. I have a couple semesters of community college under my belt but then again who doesn't. I wish I had my first car again, I bought it last year and made a roadtrip and it was the best time of my life, but when I returned to Denver I got rear-ended on the way to get license plates and it totalled my shit. Now I'm stuck to bumming for rides or riding my bike. I don't feel freedom anymore, I feel trapped and I don't know how to get out. I need to talk to a therapist or counselor but I don't have the funds nor the means to see one. I am lost.
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>>7076618
what job is this anon? that really sucks to hear,
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>>7078708
Same, anon. The only reason I still put in the bare minimum effort is to not disappoint my parents. I have no other reason really to try to better my life. Keep going anon, maybe we’ll get better later on.
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>>7076031

I have no pape for this feel. Just put one up for sharing's sake. I have worked through/with my severe mental illness every day for 12 years and have gotten to a point where I am a professional in my field, even though I'm a college dropout. I am lauded by my colleagues as intelligent and exceptional at what I do. Except the whole field I chose is crumbling and will only continue to do so; there are no jobs and the ones around pay so little that it's a joke. I am at a point where I put so much effort into this to get to the end point, the goal, only to find that this shangri la is just ruins and old notes saying "get out while you can." I feel betrayed somehow, and after using this career as a northern star for 12 years to give me purpose, I'm completely lost. I feel myself slipping back into mental illness and it terrifies me.
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>>7076214
dont be a nigger
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I keep falling back into bad relationships, even though I can recognize they are bad. I can see that these people are just using me and the workplace environment to create a safe space that they themselves can socialize in. My parents never held healthy relationships with each other, I'm surprised they're still together, with their own respective parents, or with me or my brother.

I have had a few healthy relationships but I can't seem to maintain them or easily form them. I think my inability to open up and be available to others, hinders my chances for these good relationships, and only the desperate and damaged have the patience to pursue me because of my vulnerabilities.
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I am 24 years old. at 17 I went through life threatening cancer and lost my left testicle through and several scars from surgeries, also didnt have much of a senior year because of chemo. once I graduated and got done with cancer I started working and invited my high school sweet heart to live with me. We get out first apartment and I purchase my first car brand new off the lot, less than 3 months later get into life threatening accident with illegals so no ability to sue. then last year my mother, the only family member in the US whom I talk to died to cancer, one year later which is a few months ago my only brother died to accidental suicide since I guess the passing of my mother was too much for him. I have been out of work since my mothers passing, and I am a severe alcoholic binge drinking every two days. I feel like my body wont be able to continue this maltreatment much longer. Anyhow, I wanted to share this story so many can realize that their situation is sometimes not as bad as you may believe it is. I am legit alone in the US with no family, an addiction, and with a fucked up body. Also just info I say no family because my father left my mom when I was 5 and I have never heard from him or his family since then. So it was only my mom and brother who are both dead now. Good luck and God speed Anons.
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Things aren't all that bad. Although i am selectively lazy and irresponsible, i'm intelligent, i can study hard enough to get a job which i can make more than a living at. I'll have the ability to run a household, and live together with my partner. But even then there's this thought in the back of my mind that can't let me rest, and it's saying that i should disregard everything else and just do what i like to do. Every morning it's there to greet me, and it sometimes wins me over and takes away all my motivation and drive. I want to write, i want to play video games, i want to jerk off, and i want to sleep. But when i do too much of that, another feeling kicks in. The one that tells me "you have limited time left pal, fucking do something meaningful with it". I can't just rest in one place. I want progress. I want something to work toward to. I want to be an achiever. And i feel like i'm just floating between states constantly. Fighting a battle with myself. I posess every ability to make my own life, and yet sometimes i just refuse to do something with them.
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>>7076031
I'm 24. I don't really know what to write. I think i just lost all my hope in life and i'm just stoically waiting for life to pass and the sweet death to come. I don't haven anymore motivation to continue living but i don't want to kms. I just want to have a good night's sleeping, it has been years since i don't have one and that makes me feel so very tired to do anything at all.
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I have nothing going on in my life, I have such potential, and I'd rather daydream about what could be.
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>>7076857

Do you have a job anon? I've found that working a shitty job and really trying at it has helped me to get out of a similar rut. You may start to hate it in time, but at the beginning it's okay. I don't know where you are but ski season is starting. You could move to a resort and work there over the winter.
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ever since she quit her antidepressants a while back, gf goes from absolute love mode to alternating between complete nihilism, depression, insomnia, sleeping, panic attacks, jealousy, inability to speak, suicidal thoughts, violent outbursts and a lot of things harder to label or describe as soon as i've been away from her for one day , which goes on for the 3 to 4 days of the week we're usually not together
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I'm horny
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fell in love with a very good friend of mine, we went out a few times. but he eventually decided that he was straight. im stranded here with my feelings, but i'll manage.
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I developed an evil form of ocd which seems to be incurable. its like being possessed. its not gonna make sense if i explain it but its terrible and makes my friends not wanna be around me. i cant explain it but its pure hell

i think suicide really is the only way out, its just heartbreaking to think that im nearing the end and im just 18.. be happy guys
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I was raised in a loving family that gave it their all to shape me into the best possible person that I could be, as adolescence engulfed me my dad starting developing severe symptoms of depression that worsened every day, he would have a whole bag of pills he had to take and as his body started breaking down so did I. I would help him up and down the stairs because he was shaking as if he had parkinson's and lost a lot of weight and could not even go to his job of being a jeweler. One night while I was fucked up at a party I get a call from my mom that my dad is unconscious on the ground, I drive home to see the street lined with paramedics and police and enter my house to see that my dad who was my best friend for my whole life committed suicide. Everything after that changed I became a chronic alcoholic I was still a senior in high school and with each day my depression worsened to the point where I couldn't function any more or feel happy without drugs. I have been lonely ever since and still drown my pains in drugs and feel shitty about myself every day besides taking all these medications and visiting a psychiatrist and a therapist. I am 20 years old, isn't this supposed to be the greatest time of my life, instead i'm wallowing in despair, no gf just past lustful sexual relationships. Maybe one da this too shall end...
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Things are getting better, slowly but surely.

Hang in there everyone.
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nothing keeps my interest long enough for me to actually enjoy
>nothing ever seems to pay off anymore
>I constantly obsess over time and how I'm wasting it to the point where I'm just wasting more time
>I just want to die but I know if I kill myself I'd hurt the people I care about but I can't even bring myself to see / talk to them so i dont even fucking know anymore
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>>7080743
seek help, you can be someone again
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>>7080341
also a young phd student here, 22
it sucks dick, honestly I would drop everything and go live out your dreams
cut ties and move with the fiance somewhere traveling for a year
then come back and finish the degree
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I wish I had some sort of guidance when I was younger. I ended up wasting a year failing at a major that I never even liked.
the only positive thing from the time there is that I discovered what I truly do enjoy learning about. Now I'm failing my classes in community college. Everything just seems so mundane to me like I'm wasting my time here. I started thinking that I should just reset everything and move to NYC and take classes there like I wanted to in high school. Meanwhile I've been lying to both my parents and girlfriend about my classes. I love my girlfriend alot and I've made her worry about me and school before as well. This isnt the first time I've lied about my grades to her. The first time created such a huge mess and I never want to cause that again. But I ended up slipping back into old habits anyway. And I worry when I eventually have to tell her she'll end up leaving me for good.
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Just general bad luck with the ladies - not conventional bad luck though, as I've been rather sexually active this year... I'm more emotionally unlucky. It seems whenever I manage to get a girl into bed with me, i'm bored with them in every other way. In other words, there's nothing other than physical attraction/sex to keep me interested and therefore I lose interest pretty quickly...

Then, whenever I find someone I'm genuinely interested in I manage to psych myself out, and i'm a completely different person from the cool, aloof guy who fucks random girls he meets within a day of knowing them.

Saw an old flame from highschool on the weekend, attached to the hips with some other guy. I guess I should be over that by now. Also some other girl who I thought things were going well with has left me completely in the dark... Owell, I have plenty to keep me occupied.
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>>7081141
i was in a similar situation
i always though the girl was too boring or dumb
force yourself to stay in a relationship for a while, you cant beat the effect of a chemical reaction (aka lots of sex and constant interaction)
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>>7076191
can you send me your leftovers?
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>>7081138
I just turned 20. I'm going to try and slowly move away.
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>Be me
>be 29, going on 30
>be married for 5 years
>decided to have a baby at year 2 of marriage
>keeps not happening
>doctors dont find anything wrong
>every month, her period comes like clockwork
>start to deal with the loss of a child we never had and moving onto acceptance that we might never have children
>feel like i'm personally ending my father's bloodline
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>>7081219
Same anon here; just rattling down the list of shit that weighs on me as I fall asleep, it's good to get it out:
-Parents divorced, barely talk to either anymore as mother recently moved out town
-Haven't spoken to brother for almost 2 years now due his continually fucking up his life and inflicting his mental illness on me and my wife, he has still never apologized for mentally and physically abusing me throughout my childhood
-Currently two classes away from finishing a masters while working full-time and I'm not sure I even want to keep working there but now I'm stuck for at least 2 more years or I have to pay back their tuition reimbursements
-Constantly stressed out to aforementioned unexplained infertility, struggling to keep up at work and make a name for myself
-Fighting with wife on nearly regular basis

I'm almost 30 and i'm still wondering what I want to be when I grow up.
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Basically just started real life and don't really know what to do with it, I have a love for too many fields and I have a hard time really pursuing my dreams.

Get Invited to do stuff all the time but always turn them down because I feel like my PC is more of a friend to me than anyone ever has.
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May 2016

>Meet a girl who helps me feel better about myself in my home state
>Graduated technical college with an associates
>Need to move out of my parents shitty house that doesn't have a shower
>Offer girlfriend of the time to come with me
>Move to Wisconsin on hopes to live with an internet friend of 5 years
>The job I had lined up before I moved doesn't exist
>Stuck in shitty situation where I'm unemployed for 4 months
>Girlfriend also unemployed but that's okay because I'll provide for you until my last penny
>Find out girlfriend fucked my best friend
>Work through it because I care about her
>Get some odd-jobs going on
>Girlfriend starts job at goodwill
>She quits because she's tired of going to work and doesn't want to learn to take the bus
>Continue working odd-jobs but get fired from the places I work at
>Finally find a steady position in my college career
>She doesn't support me, she grows sneakier and hides things from me at every turn
>I worry about us I think about counseling but it costs 200/hr to do
>I kick girlfriend out because she's been jobless for the larger portion of a year and she's done nothing but drained me monetarily, emotionally, and physically
>We're separated for 3 months and I come back to home state to get her
>Find out she's been dating a guy that she's liked since highschool and she's fucked a few others
>Find out she's pregnant with my kid...
>I take her back because I care about her... Oh what a mistake
>Room mate moves out and tells me I've made a dumb decision
>I get her a job working for the government by leveraging connections
>I lost my job 5 months later because she forgot she had to take the bus to work and I had to leave early to make sure she made it there on time
>She's working and supporting me
>Things going smoothly for the last few months...

I honestly care about her, and I guess I've derailed my life because of her...
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>>7081237
Anon don't feel that way... Those people in your life if they are true... You should be with them. I'm lonely because I never took offers up...
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I've been with more than a few girls. My most recent relationship lasted around two and a half years. I'm so in love with her still. I was the one who broke up with her, but we had been arguing a lot and she was mad at me anyhow. Its been about seven months. I talked to her recently and she says she's still very in love with me and wants to get back together. The problem with that, however, is she has a fucking boyfriend. Yeah I feel like a real fucking cuck. I love her to death, and I do trust that things could work out well between us. But this is too much. Do I tell her she has two days to decide me or him, or is that a cuck move on its own? I'm going crazy here guys.
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>>7077081
I like you man. I'm not any of the anons, but appreciate it as someone who has gone through stuff as well. People need people to talk to from time to time
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>>7076212
Don't over think it. Just keep her as a high priority, I bet she loves you cause of the things you already do subconsciously. All the best
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>>7076031
Don't do Heroin. Slowly killed my soul and if it weren't for the emts my body.
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>>7076539
Interests are surface level. Look for someone with the same fundamentals
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Ever since I finished highschool I haven't been able to make new real friends. Sure, I can talk to new people and see them regularly, but neither they nor I invite eachother to play videogames or watch movies or whatever just for fun... My only real friends are from elementary and high school. Luckilly I made a lot of friends back in the day, but I still feel that there's something wrong with me not being able to really click with new people..
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>>7081311
Not to be a downer but you should just go about your life like nothing is different until the two of them break up or you can get over it. When in doubt, turn off those feelings.
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25.
Aimless. Ambition less. Don't know what to do with life. It's not that I don't like stuff. I do but after some time I get bored and lose interest. Never finished something unless I absolutely had to. Cut off nearly all of my friends to avoid hanging out with them all the time.Did a bunch of internships/part time but eventually lost interest because low pay and too many people noise. Parents keep forcing me to apply for stuff but I never try my 100% because I know that's not what I wanna do for the rest of my life. I fear their patience will run out one day and they'll kick me out. I just want a job where I won't have to answer to people/be around people all the time.
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>>7081371
Sounds like you would fit decently into a network manager job. Just get some qualifications and you get your very own cellar to live in with the occational random person asking if you can fix their laptop.
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>>7081347
From my experience for making friends as an adult, it is a lot harder.
People like the comfort of not having emotional investment.

It happens all the time to me, especially worse during college.
There are countless times where people would pretend to have this fake smile and act like my best friend for 15 minutes on the hallway
just to never talk to me again for the rest of the semester.

You shouldn't stop trying though, some people do want to have a genuine friendship.
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I don't know how to exactly put this into words, but I don't feel anything.
Everything feels like I'm in a lucid dream, like I'm not actually here.
Have you ever recalled something of your past, and tried imitating it in your mind?
That's how I feel everyday in the present.
I'm living in someone else's skin that looks exactly like me.
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I break ties with people I once considered my friends and I don't even know why. Either I stop talking to them or they do and I don't know why.
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>all my friends are super close or have a best friend they actually want to hangout with.
>no one ever asks me if i want to hangout.
>told them i feel shitty and feel alone rn.
>dont use social media or talk to anyone anymore
> no one bothered to check if im okay
>just want someone to talk to who will actually enjoy my company.
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>>7076212
Spark lasted 6 years in my case. It was a good ride, but it fucking hurts like a bitch when it's over. I guess things will get better.
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>>7081513
Aye bud, where you from?
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>>7081569
uk
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Started Uni this year. Into my first semester. Met a girl who i fell for right away (we met day 3) and we dated until yesterday. She was extremely motherly and caring and everything was good. I panicked though and destroyed it. Peace bothers me. I do not like when there is peace in a relationship, it makes me feel like somethings gonna go wrong so I make something wrong. I still love her but I can see her already moving on and it sucks. Why cant I accept love or peace? Does anyone know what makes me kick and run? Also studies are pretty easy but finals are looming and my anxiety is through the roof.
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>>7081570
Sorry to hear it, UK is relatively small to the States and I still have trouble with friends. I find that once you're older than 20 people just stick to old friend groups and are too engaged to make new emotional investments.
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>>7081574
yeah its so much harder to make new friends as u get older unless you're forced into social situations. The problem is this group of friends is like a second family i've know some off them for ages and i feel like they like to pick other people over me.
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>>7081575
They may very well do that, you need to figure out why that is and whether or not you're willing to change.
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>>7081580
i've not had the balls to ask if something was wrong but i'll drop them a message now anon and i'll keep u updated.
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Everything just gets worse no matter what i do and today i just learned my mother is on meth again and I dont know what to do.
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>>7076214
You're a fucking loser and a dickfuck of a dad. Get a life and get off this board - I hate people who can't handle the responsibility. Don't have a kid if you don't fucking want one.
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>>7079012
go get FRIENDS first - or a best friend at that before you try doing anything else. You're looking for all the wrong things
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>>7080353
hätte bei der engen Bauweise jetzt auf Schweiz getippt, aber ich kenn mich da auch nicht wirklich aus. war nur einmal in der Schweiz.
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I'm in love with a married man,
we feel the same way towards each other, but I catch myself being scared for my feelings in the future.
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>>7081654
Whore.
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>>7081605

stop projecting
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>>7081654

go back a vapid whore in a grave
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Catching feelings for a girl I work with. I think she might have some sort of feeling for me, but I doubt it. Just feeling lonely truthfully.
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>>7081668
stop deflecting that he is a degenerate of the highest degree for fathering an unwanted child
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>>7081654
BEGONE THOT
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I'm on the other side of the world, I've got a casual job, but I never realised how much I would miss home. I miss my gf too. I can't wait to get back.
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>>7077834
how long were you apart? how's it like being back together?

gotta drop the anxiety man, that'll bleed through and you'll never fully enjoy yourself.
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>>7078267
remember the person
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>>7081513
I feel you 100% anon. You are not alone,,,
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I'm in the first year at Uni going for a degree that I don't even know I want and I already fail on all my tests and exams. I feel like everything I do is a waste of time and I can't find something meaningful in what I do in a day, just one thing to make me happy that I experienced that. I'm afraid to disappoint those I love.

All I seek is a simpler life. I dream of having my own farm living there with my future wife and our children, but I can't see how to get there.

I find nothing interesting anymore and my creativity and curiosity disappeared. I have no idea what I'm good at or what I enjoy doing and I don't have the time nor the will to discover it.

Also, I have no girlfriend and sometimes I get lonely, but this is the least of my troubles.

I find my life to be lonely and meaningless. I feel like I'm wasting my time and I'm growing older with less opportunities and ambitions.

I just don't know where life is going and I don't know who I am and what I'm supposed to do.

Sorry for the long post.
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>>7080969
you've had it tough. I wish you all the best anon.
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>be me, 20 y/o college student
>meet the girl of my dreams last year
>absolutely gorgeous and shares similar interests, plus took interest in my personal interest and came to my college club lacrosse games and scrimmages
>Everything I've ever wanted and more
>she was in an abusive relationship before me and would push me away periodically out of fear of love
>we both hurt each other emotionally because we're young and inexperienced with love
>work through everything and love each other regardless
>everything going great
>gf invited and goes to festival with sorority sisters and some frat kids for three days in another state
>"no room for me"
>drops some acid and has a bad trip
>comes back telling me she didn't know if she still saw me as a lover and gave superficial bs as reason
>breaks up with me for her own personal rasons
>felt like I was blindsided by a truck
>family issues on top of that puts me into depression
>mother drinks 1-2 liters of wine and basically blackouts almost every night
>lose will to go to class and study
>might fail calc 2 even though I'm already behind in math
>now my ex is playing games and sending mixed signals
>my heart feels like it's been mangled
>trying to find the motivation to finish this semester without failing

tldr, gf dropped acid and broke up with me after a year of dating. now I'm trying to make up for being depressed by passing these finals.

also this pape is my pupper
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>>7081779
Almost the same, except I’m in my second year of UG. Got into the best honours math uni in my country, came to know I was shit at math when compared to everyone else there, got depressed, and the shitty semblance of a relationship I had broke one month into Uni. However abusive she had been, she had been the only source of any emotion in my life at that time.
Now I have no idea why I’m even doing this degree, just staying here because changing anything in my life is a hassle. This is the second /wg/ thread I’ve come to, and I love all of you guys. I think I’ll actually try to make an effort to search for what I want to do in life now. It’s not much, but I have to being somewhere. Do you want to talk more about yourself? I’m interested to hear you out. Hope you find something for yourself anon.
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>>7080743
Sell all your belongings and buy a cheap houseboat to travel all around the world. If you own a house, don't sell it and live off of the passive income it gives you.

You can still be happy anon, don't give up.
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I fucking hate life right now. it's just complete bullshit. Nothing makes any sense any more and I don't give a god damned fuck. I just wanna cradle up and get set on fire so I vividly feel every last moment till my transition to whatever the hell is next. Sorry if this sounds edgy,
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I've been fairly happy as of late which is odd because I ran out of my antidepressants a few weeks ago and despite being happy this feeling of depression has been eating away at me for a while case I'm starved for romantic attention which fucking sucks cause I'm not even all that bad looking. Shit's pretty fucked, lads, here's to bad habits to keep me from going through with killing myself, and before someone tries to talk me into it the answer will be no as long as I have family and people that care about me.
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>>7076214
How old are you?
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>>7081129
>>7082017
Thanks anons. Its not co much that I feel down or feel like ending it all. Its just I dont understand how life can be so unfair to some individuals and not to others. I have always accepted that fact, that life is unfair. And im ok with it. I just dont understand it. I love life. But man having all those experiences happen to you in a 4 year period can definitely wreck your psyche. Cancer alone rekt my mentality enough, but adding in all those other experiences, and then top it off having to deal with this shit alone since the only family I speak to on a somewhat regular basis lives in deep South Mexico and im in the US. No family here to lean back on even for emotional support. Thanks anons for listening. More than anything I wanted to share my little piece to show that hey your situation might not be as bad as you may think or feel. I am also up for any questions.

P.S I like the boat house idea I have always loved the ocean, boats, and being alone. That idea has crossed my mind anon.

P.S.S I have alot of wallpapers from years of lurking, if you are looking for something specific lemme know.
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>>7081813
I don't know. I'm constantly tired, all I want to do is sleep, yet I can't sleep well. The hardest thing for me in the morning is to get out of the bad. Maybe I'm just lazy and I;m bitching too much but I really don't know. I don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything.

I feel bad, especially, because I can't enjoy the Christmas season as I once could.

In a way, I feel this is all my fault. I strongly believe that we are solely responsible for the place we are, and the only things responsible for my own unhappiness and dissatisfaction are my own actions that got me there.

Thank you for asking. I wish also all the best and I hope you find the change you are looking for.
>>
I don't have a problem really. Maybe just looking for a 'greater sense of purpose in life'. I'm working with a decent office IT job 9×5 but doesn't really give a shit about it.

Maybe if I am at my 20's and have no children. I wanted to be an activist who maybe fighting against oppression in the country side. There are many injustices and inequality happening and I cant seemed to become and passive and turned blind-eye doing nothing.
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>>7076031
>years since last meaningful relationship, which i ruined with commitment issues
>even know the thought of committing to one person makes me itchy
>think they'll end up hurting me
>at the same time, absolutely bursting with undirected affection
>romantically frustrated but too scared to do anything about it
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>>7077995
we're all gonna fucking make it one day bros
also friend's first wallpaper, i'm pretty proud of him
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Been struggling with extreme anxiety and moderate depression for the last year or so now. Can't get a job right now, and that makes me sad. I'm into a girl, who wants to meet, but my anxiety shuts me down before I even get close to meeting up. I've just started seeing someone about my issues, they're trying to help me get my energy back. If i have energy, I'll be more determined, then if i get a job and feel fulfilled I'll be more confident. Plus my mum has cancer, which is hard enough for her as it is for me. Worse still, i'm extremely indifferent about actually liking her, she's my polar opposite, but I still love her. I wish i could just not be anxious, get a haircut (haven't been able to go in months), talk to people at parties all that shit. Hopefully soon I'll feel better, then I can get back to enjoying life more.
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That is what makes death so beautifully mystifying, at some point you just let go, you stop reaching for what you once had and accept that sometimes darkness is more accepting of you than anything else.
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I've made the mistake of falling in love with a friend of mine. She already has a boyfriend but he's been very cruel and selfish towards her, and she's fully aware of this. I told her about my feelings and she says she loves me a lot but still loves her boyfriend more, despite the fact that he's lied about his entire life and by his own admission won't try to improve. She says that if things don't work out with him I might get a chance, but despite everything it looks like she's hell-bent on being with him, even if it means giving up her future. I've accepted at this point that I won't be getting my chance but I still have to deal with the sadness and jealousy that arises from seeing her throw herself into harm by remaining so devoted to him, and at times seemingly even conforming to his image. I worry that the only way our friendship will survive is me abandoning my feelings but I can't do that by choice. And when I expressed my concern to her, she said she doesn't want me to abandon them, even though it seems clear to me that she has no intentions of leaving her current boyfriend behind. So I just have to deal with the sadness and the jealousy for God knows how long, because my friend whom I have fallen in love with is too obsessed with the "bad boy" archtype, of which I am not a member.
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I feel that everything I'm doing is not enough and I feel more powerless everyday, like I can't do anything to turn the current tide of the events
This is also somehow impairing me from actually do something with girls that I like
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Born and grew up in a country with basically no opportunity for any major self-improvement. Feeling empty since high school, lost all optimism and general feelings for some reason. Working a job I hate so I can pay for the college I love. The mentioned college gave me an opportunity last summer to go to Spain to work for 3 months and I took that shit. Was the best 3 months of my entire life. Lost major weight, general life improvements, socialized a shitton. And when I returned here it was all back to how it was. Now I have the chance to go to the US to work but really expensive overall. Still, took a 2nd job, and determined to exit this hellhole. I really hope this works.
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i teach. i fucked my adult student
one girl
twice.
i lately moved out with my wife from her parent's house ( we tried to save money but ended up in a really messed up situation).

we try to live now in peace but i feel isolated in this realtionship, like everything is going on without my knowledge.
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A couple of years back I went to Germany on a Uni exchange program, met this cute girl from the States and fell for her. Everything was fine in Germany, but a couple of months after she returned to the states and I returned back to my home country she wanted to have a serious talk one night while we were skyping, she told me that my need for regular skype sessions and the distance have taken their toll on her and that she wants to end it but is incapable of it and that I'm the one who should end the relationship. I ended it and fell into a really big depressive episode, because there was also alot of other bad shit happening in my life at that moment. Now a few years have passed and I feel ready to start datng again, but I still have the tought of her in my head even though I don't want it or try to think about her and that just puts me off because I don't want to be the cause for a shitty relationship, I have been in a long and shitty relationship before that, she was the first person to love me back. I know that it might be my fault for being possesive but I just wanted to hear from her on a regular and not have a big gap in seeing and or hearing her. Also sorry for the shitty english, I don't have the time to practice and improve it these days.
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I was in love once in my life, still am.
She approached me, kissed me, seduced me, went after me.
I went head over heels and made it clear...
Then she cut communication and appeared 2 months later with a boyfriend.
Tried to keep my posture, she told that didn't knew that i was into her, eventually we where talking as "friends", and she kept insinuating
One day she said that i was "fantastic", but that was not the right time and that was wrong to break with him and come after me
And i made clear what where my feelings
After 6 months she break up with him and in less than 2 was with another boyfriend...
After 6 months again, one night, while we where talking about relationships
She thanked me because i was making her company, i told how i felt and she said that there was no return to what she did and that was sorry for being that way
She was pregnant, told me and made public after 4 months
Said it was an accident
Said that could she could regret it in the coming years
I was thorn apart
I still am
Her child has one year now
Her boyfriend is a good for nothing weed smoker
She stopped her studies
They are just scraping by
We are haven't talked since the day she told me that was pregnant

I hope that i dont fall for the "my girlfriends son" meme, i really dont want to feed someone elses shitter
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GPU just died and I'm a broke ass neet.
been few weeks for those retail job applications no one called yet. trying to muster up the courage to go around and ask about my application.
I'm a fucking whimp, ever since my last job I'm scared after the interactions I had and knowing I had it easy and it will be harder even if I mange to get a job again.
I can't live without my computer feelsbadman.
I'm such a huge faggot millennial.
Hard to fix but I'll try. Thing is I never see my self being able to do any job, even the ones I desire, I feel like retail is the cap for me and even that I can't do properly.
>tfw just want to program and draw all day but can't see myself making money off of it.
I'm just clueless !
>>
I have been coping with serious trust issues for a long time. I'm socially competent and liked by a lot of people. However, my secretive, distrustful, almost paranoid nature has prevented me from forming any strong relationships. My best friend and I have almost nothing in common and rarely hang out. When we do, we engage in superficial activities and discussion. Even posting this is really difficult. I can't help wondering if someone who knows me will see this and figure out it's me.
The thing is, I'm honestly content with my life. I have faith and strong convictions, a good job, a good home, and I'm intelligent and healthy. Sure, I'd like to get married, maybe have a couple of kids, but I'm fine without it too. I just recognize that I could be getting more out of life, while still being my usual happy, easygoing self.
I just wish I could open up to people more. So often I just want to lean on someone and let them know about all the things I'm thinking. I pray a lot and I know that should be enough, but part of me still wants that human connection.
>>
>>7076210
It will get better anon.
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My cynicism has left me on my own, and I can no longer turn back. I can no longer see any good in most people. My family consists of manipulators and my wide circle of acquaintances treat people like stocks; Dropping and Buying.
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>>7076031
I have developed tinnitus in my left ear half year ago. Turns out I have a genetic disease of my ears. The stapes bone of my ossicular chain tends to harden up and stop functioning. Luckily it can be operated so I won't loose my hearing. At least not for a couple of decades. But the surgery doesn't help the tinnitus. Sometimes it gets worse, other times it's better. I can't really do anything about it. I am completely defenceless against it. The worst are the nights, when I am trying to fall asleep in the silence. Its there and it never stops. It can be however bad it wants to and theres nowhere to run from it. I am afraid of what if I develop it in the other ear and what if they get worse. It might drive me crazy and end up in the mad people's house.
I asked many doctors, they all say it won't go away and theres nothing I could do about it. There are some meds and alternative treatment that MIGHT make it better. I have tried some of those and nothing. I am just not used to this kind of permanence in life. We were told that if we don't like a certain thing in life, we do something about it. If you don't like a person, you stop seeing him. If you don't like a movie you stop watching it. If you don't like a a food you avoid it. If you don't like a place, you don't go there. This I do not like and theres nothing effective I could do about it. No matter where I go or what I do. And the worst is people don't understand this at all.
I'm 24 now
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>>7076460
As of most of our suffering, we cause it ourselves. This being said, we should be able to cause happiness as well.
This is an important thing to realize!
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18, going on 19, work full time with barely any free time, GF broke up on the 4th of July and found out shes been spreading rumors behind my back, hardly socialize and spend all my free time on a Norwegian Waterjousting forum looking for wallpapers
I need to get things moving forward but I have absolutely no idea where to begin
>>
>>7076821
It is never too late to change anything in life. Life itself is constant change. Everyone has an image of happiness in their head and you received a biased image of someone else. I think right now you should think about what interests you and start learning new things about them. After a while, you might get even more interested. At that point you should say: fuck everything and everyone, I'm out of this rotten place and going after my own image of happiness
>>
>>7082529
I have it since I was a small child, I'm 28. Never went to a doctor, probably should, it is almost the same frequency of crickets
One thing you can do to silence it is cover your ears with both hands and hammering the back of your head with your thumbs
It will come back eventually, but than way I can known what silence is
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>>7082565
Shit meant middle fingers
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I've known her for 3 years now. We study together. We started to communicate properly after, like, 8 months since we met each other. By that time I already had a girlfriend (LDR) so I couldn't be anything more than friends with her. It just struck me recently how many opportunities I've had and didn't take: all the private time, all the cuddles and being so close to her lips... and I never tried. Now I'm single, but honestly, it doesn't seems like she's interested in me anymore. Things have changed and I doubt I'll ever get one more chance.

It tears me apart to think of it. I feel like a failure and a dumbass, yet at the same time, I wonder if it's a good idea at all to try anything. We're in the same classroom, after all, meaning all my mistakes and all the fights between us are going to be there with us all the time.

Heck, man, I just don't know what to do. I'm fucking lost.
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Left the military two months ago, day that i got out celebrated by drinking alone. thought all my friends from hometown had abandoned me, turns out ive been severely depressed for the last year. trying to make social connections has been the most painful and terrifying thing ive ever had to do. almost want to re enlist just to die overseas and leave everyone with the idea of me, not the person
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I genuinely despise this society.
Everything that actually makes life worth living, it tramples on and covers in asphalt.
Comfort and pleasure, these are their only values. Comfort and pleasure. But how hollow they are!
But how hard it is to escape their trap.
Especially when you're a socially inept loner with no real family, let alone any bigger sense of community.
Every day I push myself, make my way through the dreadful bureaucracy which surrounds most of my life, for what?
I'm not a nihilist. I had a phase like that which I overcame. I pushed myself, and now it seems I've failed.
>>
My emotional problems are more severe than I thought and I suffer from anxiety to the point of ED. I work a career that is unfulfilling and I have no other experience. If I don't get myself in order by the time I'm 35 i think I might just off myself. I'm 27
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I should be happy but I'm not.

I am working at a great job, I have a great boss, I make a lot of money, my life is getting back on track after recovering from a horrible injury and every day it's getting better.

But I just don't feel happy. I still want to fucking end myself. I feel isolated from my friends. I feel isolated from my coworkers. I feel like I have no one to talk to about my troubles. I just want to end it.
>>
>>7078688
thank you anon
>>
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Yesterday i finally went to the gym, started a monthly subscription, hopefully. I might have depression and anxiety, i have the reasons to.. Lost my motivation and curiosity, everything looks grey, that kind of stuff. I pushed really hard 4 years to fix something that was not my fault, used all my energy and now one year later after finishing it i am still depleted. Serious toll on health. The things that made me tick are simply not there anymore. Now i'm just throwing time at myself, days, weeks, hoping for a day that is not like the others.
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I started going to college last year. It wasn't my first choice but I got into a transfer program to my first choice school. I met a girl there later and we click. Eventually she tells me that she has had a crush on me for a while. I ask her out and she says yes. Fast forward a few days and were supposed to go see a movie. I get stood up but we talk a little and call it a rain check. I bring it up a couple of more times but nothing comes of it and we stay friends. I stopped being a cuck in the spring semester and cut off all contact with her.

I eventually got into my first choice and recently met a girl who I became fast friends with. Were at my house one night and I ask her out. She says yes. One thing leads to another and we end up cuddling and kissing all night. The next day she text me saying that she "values our friendship" and doesn't want to hurt it.

I hate this /wg/
>>
I'm so used to being sad and depressed that when things are going right, finally, I still feel horrible and alone. I have a job. School isn't horrible. My friends are good. Only real problem is my relationship which is basically me rejecting my friend who i hooked up with and them not really talking to me anymore, and my family who is always shit.

I'm so tired and depressed and it hits me at the worst times and I don't even know why
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>>7076031
>>7076479
I have a friend who is dealing with both of these problems and I fear that he might do something in the form of killing himself, since he told me himself (this was a little bit ago though) that the only reason he hadn't completely given up life is because of me and like 2 other people are his only friends would be sad if he did, and I don't want him to kill himself since he's one of my few real friends
>>
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I hope all of the anons reading this overcome whatever challenge they may be facing.

I've finally started to become happy. I have always felt shafted and unrecognized by the people in my life, mainly my parents. I used to blame them for my constant struggle for happiness, I could never get the same attention as my brothers even though I constantly out-do them in any way I can. I have realized that I should not be bitter, but happy about it instead. My pursuit of recognition has pushed me to become a better person. The fact that they don't praise me for stupid shit probably says more about my accomplishments than I had given them credit for. They can trust that I dont need praise or guidance as my siblings do to be successful. It took me too long to figure this out, but Im glad I did.

Tldr;
Middle child sydrome isn't so bad. Keep grinding. Be happy.
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Last year I sunk into a deep depression. I was stressing over school, finding a job, and being alone. This time last year comes and I meet a girl, we fall in love very quickly. It felt true, like how love is supposed to feel. Life is going well, I graduate and it feels like this girl will be with me for a long time. As our lives settle in together, metaphorically, I begin to sense anxiety from her. She reassures me how she appreciates me, loves me, and is excited for our future together. This feeling only worsens and she begins to distance herself. I try to support her and convince her to relax, I love her. My words reassure her less and less and the relationship degrades as I desperately try to salvage things. Despite my best communication, things continued to fail and I begin to lose hope. I became miserable, my gf was sad, and all I could remember were our many months of blissful togetherness, a feeling I could never shake. Her last school year starts and a few weeks later she seems gone; I go to see her and she breaks up with me. A week later we talk on the phone and she says she's done a lot of thinking and is incredibly sorry. Says she understands she didn't treat me right and she needed to be more open. Things go really well for weeks but she starts to slip away. Won't talk a lot, ignores my calls, feels shit about herself. I finally get see her after not being able to for a month and we have a romantic weekend together. Towards the end of the weekend she snaps into another weird mood and I can't break her from it or cheer her up. I breakdown from the stress of single-handedly trying to save the relationship and how I'm not getting my needs met. I love this girl so much, I don't want to walk away. I mention what she told me at the end of the summer: "I'm sorry I don't to you enough. I love you and there's no one else in the world I'd rather figure this out with." I'm willing to help and do anything to keep her in my life.

1/2
>>
>>7083058

She tells me she wants to be alone and says she can't be what I want her to be. A few months into our relationship she told me she was considering suicide but then she met me and I made her really happy, I changed her life. I can't let her get back to that point, but she insists this is what she wants and she won't get bad. It's been a month and the sting has started to wear off but I miss her everyday. She changed my life and I changed hers, but we just couldn't communicate right. Pressure from her folks to not let me spend the night with her at her own apartment lent a hand in her caving in. I had really hoped to hear from her but in a month she hasn't reached out. She see's my stuff on social media, and I can't look at hers, so I follow her spotify and secretly listen to her playlists. Obviously the relationship failed but my love didn't go anywhere and I'm not sure what to do now. My heart holds out hope still, but it's killing me, so I'm just trying to live as best I can.
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>>7076031
im having family/relationship/school issues. I am losing my will to wanna really do anything productive. I feel like i forgot how to study. im gonna fail another class this semester. my parents neglect me bc theyre always dealing with my asshole brother. i am too poor to move out. im 20 and i drive 50 miles on the interestate to school adn 50 back home everyday. i dated a girl that i was the only one who seemed to like her. i fell in love with her. my parents essentially bullied me to break up with her. i broke up with her bc i couldnt take it. now a few months later shes my only friend i have but its not the same bc we arent dating. im trying to find a new gf or something but we are still attached to each other. she has a few mental issues and ive helped her through so many episodes where she will jsut self harm and feel worthless i cant count anymore. its taking a toll on me and i cant really talk to her about my issues without 'triggering' these kind of emotions in her. i feel like a fucking failure and i just dont want to be here anymore
>>
>>7076031

i have faith in you, guys.

>i miss her. a lot.
>>
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>I want to die.
>Too worried about who I'll leave behind to go through with it.
>I actually do have people who love me, but life's many flaws get me down.
>I have a home, I'm well fed, and I have no disabilities.
>I'm still unhappy.
>why.pdf
>Disgusted by all of friend's total openness and willing to masturbate to literally anything with a face or other noticible human traits.
>"DEGENERATES. DEGENERATES EVERYWHERE"
>Can't even try to be happy without the disease of mankind haunting my mind.
>Nothing is sacred, everything has a flaw.
>Rage builds up for so long until verbally expressing my hatred for all.
>Have to take pills in order to 'function' in life.
>Pills basically remove my ability to state my true opinions.
>Forever hold in the disgust and sadness without a real outlet to filter it out.

I'm happy, guys. Iunno why everyone else here is such a downer, but whatev's.
>>
>>7082529
I assume that you have otosclerosis? And if so, you can get a stapedectomy, which is what I assume is what you meant by the surgery.
I'm sorry for whatever disease you have in your ears. Tinnitus is not something you can "cure," but you can lessen it by listen to music. As for medications, I'm not sure.
I wish you the best of luck and pray for you.
>>
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Fret not, friends. Struggle is essential for progress.
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>>7076031

Ive felt kind of depressed for some months. I have been in a relationship for some years now and recently I have been wondering if my mood was the reason I couldnt find any comfort with my gf and couldnt bear her attitude.

Yesterday I spent all evening chatting and drinking beer with a girl I know (kinda flirting actually), it was great and I havent been this happy in a long time. I am now pretty sure my girlfriend is the reason I am still depressed and it is time to break up
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I'm starting to realize that most, if not all of my friends, don't genuinely like me. I'm kinda overwhelmed with loneliness. When i'm not going to school everyday (which is such a crushing fucking environment) i go to parties that i'm not even explicitly invited to, i'm just part of that friendgroup. I'm just trying to fit in and be kind to everyone, but i constantly find myself being put down by others.
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I have a girlfriend for almost 4 years now, i don't know if i want to break up or not.It is gotten to the part that if i break up i will feel weird and perhaps lonley but on the other hand i'm struggling with anxiety and haven't talked to anyone about it.I plan to talk to my girl best friend and tell her everything. I loved her since i met her but chose to be friends with her and hide that fact in case we break up and i dont want to lose contact with her. I'll see how it goes...
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found success financially but now feel little and have lost everyone
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Drugs are just fueling a never ending loop of short lived pleasure and a deeply ingrained sense of dread
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>>7076460
>getting older
>no achievements
Tell me about it. Am I the oldest 4channer at 57? Have to cut back my 4chan time and kick myself in the ass to get moving. I at least have an interest in growing my skills/beginning blacksmithing. You can make something tangible/enjoyable from nothing more than iron and effort. I just feel like a failure despite marriage, child, (meaningless) work. /Pity party.
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>>7076212
I'm on the same boat as you bro. I'm with a girl, we both love each other yet all I do all fucking day is question her feelings because it all feels too unreal. I never got the girl I loved, and now I'm so concerned with when se will et tired of me that I barely enjoy our relationship, even if we go out on dates, kiss, cuddle and have sex. It just feels like a dream to me, I'm so afraid to wake up from. Idk why I'm like this and I will most probably lose her if she finds out how fucking insecure I am.
>>
>>7082837
Make art.
>>
>>7081791
Forget her and study hard. Everything will be fine.

Cute pupper :)
>>
>>7079713
> I have some girl ive been using for sex, telling her we're in a relationship

Bit of a nigger aren't you?
>>
>>7082457
Don't be a cuck or you'll regret it your entire life.
>>
I'm 5ft6
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I'm not sure why I'm still alive. Better yet, I'm not sure why anyone is still alive. Life, overall, just seems to pointless.

What's the point if I get up tomorrow morning?
What's the point if I finish school? If I go to work? If I decide to do anything.
I think what bothers me most is the fact that we're all going to die sooner or later and we're all busy toiling away for such trivial things in life. The inescapable fact of death waits for us all, waits to undo all of one's hard work in the blink of an eye. So, what's the point in trying?
>>
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I've been thinking about giving up




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