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will having a gf make me feel less empty inside?
>21/virgin
>decent job, progressing fast
>lift
>feel like crying almost every night
too socially retarded to get a gf anyways, just asking so I can feel worse
find it hard to believe some external validation will make me like myself
maybe that's just a cope
post lonely papes, ruins are neat
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>>7353343
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sorry, not quite pape size but a nice pic
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>>7353343
I know it seems cliche but there are girls out there that feel the same way you do. You've just got to find one.
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Feel ya Op!! 28yo here, nice job, have an apartment, car, now some good friends, but im too retarded to get a GF and i just feel the bad loneliness...
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It didnt bother me when i was young, to be alone felt soo good. Now i have to force the bad ideas out of my head: the will to hurt myself mostly
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Well, i think im smarter than my feelings so i try to deal with the urge to self sabotage. But it is so fucking tiring.
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There was a day that i called a prostitute to my home. She was one of the most amazing girls that i ever met. She didnt stop a second talking about all the vidia that i have on my living room. She was a nerd, a gorgeous indie one. we make out, she left, send some messages saying that i really liked her and that i wanted to know her better.
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Op whatever you do, do not bond on loneliness
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She told me that i was very nice but she cant give any special attention to her clients because of her "work", if i wanted to call her again, she would come, stay more than the usual, but thats it.
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Since i dont take pride in the fact that im so incapable of charming someone that i have to pay for sex, i will never pay for her again.
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I have an appointment with a psychiatric in two weeks. I dont want to take medicament so i will talk to him to refer me to a psychologist (health insurance procedure here, i cant go directly to one). Maybe that will fix what is broken inside me. Im counting on it.
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Well, thats it. Better luck for you OP. And remember, you are smarter than what you feel. Dont an hero.
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>>7353368
Thanks mane, some good pics. I think you did the right thing by not paying for her again. If I did that I'm sure my soul would die.
Phoneposting right now but I'll post some more pics when I get home.
>>7353353
Based hopeposter. Where do I find said girls
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>>7353343
>will having a gf make me feel less empty inside?
>find it hard to believe some external validation will make me like myself

Why would you wonder if having a girlfriend would change how you felt about yourself? Clearly you have already established that external validation (which is a main part of the value of a relationship) will not change the way you already feel. I mean there's the sexual or hormonal aspect on top of the validation, but even the value of that will wither away after a while.

You basically just answered your own question.

You have an identity, don't you? Don't you have any hobbies or interests that make you feel good inside? Whether or not those hobbies benefit someone else or you get praise for them is irrelevant. Live for yourself.

External validation is like masturbation, it feels good but its reward is fleeting.
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>>7353343
Same boat, if you can't talk to them start researching how. May sound sociopathic but fuck it. Ask some friends for brutal honest feedback, anything to improve yourself and make yourself more attractive. The most important thing though is that you do these things to improve the quality of your life. You can always get laid and it get's easier as you get older anyway. If you sink time and energy into impressing other people just for their approval you will end up feeling worse. People are disappointing and you shouldn't really sweat it. Lot's of people are in a position like you and feel the same way. Start putting the whole gf thing on the back burner and focus on what makes you happy and keep casting lines. One will bite eventually. Also learn quickly how to get over rejection. Once you do that if you talk to 10 girls in a night get rejected 9 times then land the last one, that's all that counts.
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>>7353367
this pic is what lucid dreaming feels like
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>>7353343
I felt the same way you did some time ago. I would always daydream about building a cabin in the woods and living there with a beautiful grill for the rest of my life. I felt better after I started imagining that same scenario but without a gf. Loneliness is comforting and fulfilling in its own way.

Anyways, don't think about having a gf, think about improving yourself and doing as many things as you would like to do. The gf thing comes naturally, and it will come on it's own faster if you build yourself as the man you would like to be.
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>>7353343
You need a woman whose cause you can fight for.
You need communism.
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>>7353343
I broke up with my partner of 2 years yesterday because at the end I wasn't happy anymore, despite how wonderful, kind and loving she was

You need to fall in love with yourself before you can love someone else
Here's to us finding our ways.
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>>7353363
bruh.
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>>7353343
Believe me, anon, I was in your shoes when I was 21 2 years ago (going on 3 tomorrow). You'll look back on your past self and wonder how the fuck you weren't able to see how easy everything related to women is. I'm honestly at a point I don't think I even want a GF right now due to the sex I can get. Give it time.

As for myself, I'm currently stuck at an overall decent job. Or rather as decent as a college dropout can get at 23 going on 24. However, it is such an utter cluster fuck where nobody seems to know what they are doing. Fourth goddamn day I had to stay home doing "training" training because the manager is a tool and can't schedule shit in advance. it pays the bills and allows me to have spending/investing/gym money, but not by much. Don't even really have health insurance because I need every penny in case something would happen related to a car issue, family problem, or so on. Which is even made worse by a lack of foreseeable progression.

Doesn't help that this past New Year's Eve I realized I no longer care for my old high school friends save for 1. I'm experiencing loneliness and isolation I've never felt before. I hate coming onto this website but have nowhere else to socialize. Vidya doesn't feel as good any more either. Nor can I spend money for any real hobbies.

On top of all this I'm highly considering going back to college so I can actually have a decent middle class life. Will it make me happy? Fuck if I know but at the very least I can afford nicer things. I'm kinda lost at what I want to do with my life. All I know is that I need a base to go off of. Maybe one I get a degree I can finally try standup like I always wanted. Maybe i can settle down. Maybe I can feel like I've actually achieved something other than pulling myself out of a depressive state. IDK. All I know is that while I don't wish I were dead any more, I know I'm not happy where I am at in life and know I can do better
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>>7353343
yes it will make you feel less empty, and when she leaves that loneliness will come back even harder. You're reminded of the pain you waited so long to get relief from, all you wanted was to not fall asleep alone anymore.

she leaves and has a back up guy immediately; she was more than likely talking to him from the start. Waiting for her chance to move on to the next guy so she herself could also avoid that loneliness you you yourself also feel.
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>>7353343
having a gf in your mental state will not help you but rather hurt you. Imagine all the stress it will bring to the table when you worry if she will stop loving you, or worrying about her finding out she's too good for you. You need to find some internal validation first and respect yourself. This will make your socially retardedness seemingly disappear as well but it is a long process. After that, the gf is not hard to get, and you won't have the complexity of managing relationships to worry about in your current feeble state of mind.
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>>7354093
happy late birthday anon, i just turned 30 on the 12th and i am starting to not be lonely anymore, i have started to go camping and hiking more and just get in tune with myself and nature. its relatively cheap as far as hobbies go and the stress relief brings a great peace of mind. i used to always want a relationship and stuff and the urge really does kick in every once in a while but now its to the point of where im okay waiting until i meet someone that will last and be an extension of who i am, rather than a exciting 3 months of lust. if you want to go to college i would say do it. have a serious talk with the class advisor about what your life is doing and your skills and have them suggest a path and just roll with it. best case is you find a girl that is awesome in a class and start the settling down part of life with that cushy career the degree got you. and at worse case you have a tax write of for life long education and you know something more then you did.
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>>7353939

Violet Evergarden?
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I've realized that /wg/ is where all the Wojak posters hang out and discuss their feels under the guise of sharing papes with each other.
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>>7356970

looks more like 5 cms per second
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>>7353391
Not OP but I felt like I needed this too. Thanks, anon, this is really good advice.
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>>7356990
am op
you're pretty much right, at least in my case
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>>7357788
don't want to blog on other boards
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>>7353343
Here's some advice for you.
Go watch some Real Social Dynamics content on youtube. You could learn a lot from those guys. Especially RSDTyler & RSDJulien, great guys when it comes to personal development and pick up.
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>>7353343

>will have a gf make me feel lees empty inside?

Depends on you and what you want buddy.

If having a gf is all about external validation or sex, then no. Getting a gf will only make your problems worse, ruin the relationship, and you'll feel even lonelier when it ends.

But some people just really need relationships and romance. If you want a gf because you want that in your life, then it will absolutely make you feel better. Being in a loving romantic relationship is the tops and it'll make you so much happier and fill that void inside you.

That being said, make sure that you want a gf. If there are other issues going on, handle those first. Ditto if its about sex. You can have sex without a gf, and having a gf is great without sex.

Hope you have the best of luck, OP.
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>>7357789
don't want to go on other boards
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>>7353355
successful failures represent.
a lonely 27 with a job many would love to have, but vicious tinnitus sucking every ounce of joy out of life.
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>>7353343
Hang in there brother. I was a virgin till I was 21 too. Also was socially awkward. Focus on yourself, itll come. I feel your pain though. Deployed right now and my girl just dear john'd me the other day. Shit hurts.
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>>7353343
Try being a 24 year old khhv. You have time
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no, having a girlfriend wont fix your depression. youd just be depressed but also in a relationship. youre going to have a hard time being in a healthy relationship with someone else if youre not in a healthy relationship with yourself. that's not to say you wouldnt enjoy having a girlfriend, it's just not a solve-all for any of your issues. nobody can fix you except you, so work on yourself. create a daily routine that produces a net serotonin gain and fucking stick to it. once you start doing things for your well being, your inner monologue will adapt and affirm your worth. pushing through the depression induced inertia is the hardest part, but you have the capacity to make yourself better. any refutation of that notion is delusion from your current mental state. you are not your thoughts, you are a passive being that is observing and experiencing thought. learn to validate yourself. any other validation is just stroking an already broken ego and building a wall of complacency around your current state of being. be your own girlfriend lmao
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>>7353343
I'm gonna try to give you a serious answer here pal without being condescending.

Being single is the perfect time to get to know yourself. Try to figure out why you want to cry every night, why you think that external validation equals internal solution, etc.
I'm sure trying to get to know another person while trying to figure yourself out still is a tough thing.

And hey, I probably don't know shit. All I know is how I felt when I was in your situation. I felt empty, I felt like crying, I thought "If I just had someone here to support me, it'd all be better". And to me, "someone" was a girlfriend. I rushed into relationships, and rushed out of them. What I needed was a friend, just someone to talk to. I needed someone to remind me when I am just being hard on myself, or that shit is going to work out, that my life isn't that bad.

I don't know, I kind of lost my way here. All I mean is it's easy to get stuck in your own head and think that every thought you have is set in stone. This was healthy for me. I stopped trying to find a girl I could be with, started focusing on friends and myself more. Then I met a girl, and 3 years later we got married. I really do believe that it's harder to find something when you're looking. Like losing your keys, and then finding them in your pocket.

I don't know man, this is the dumbest I've sounded in a while but I just feel bad for you and want you to get out of this rut. Get better soon.
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>>7356990
Based. /wg/ is like r9k but with nice normal people.
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The good book says you were not designed to be alone. God says in Genesis it is not good for man to be alone. Look at Psalms 33. I read it many times before I saw what it said. God creates Everyone’s soul. Look at Psalms 91. The creator wants to connect with you. He sent his Son to the cross, to bring us home on our hearts. Ask Jesus to come and save you. Read the New Testament book of John. On the Old Testament in places God says is my arm short that I cannot save? Come let us reason together; though your sins were as scarlet, now they are white as snow. New Testament all things are possible to those that believe (assumes you have recieved Jesus as your savior I think). It’s not about your works, it’s about the FINISHED work of the cross. Jesus name in Hebrew is Yeshua.
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>>7360809
i've heard this advice a thousand times but this part
>pushing through the depression induced inertia is the hardest part
clicked for me. thank you anon.
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>>7353343
if you don't even know what the fuck you want or what you need to be happy, your first priority should be doing some soul searching on what you are as a person.
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>>7362118
outside of that there's obviously some necessities you should consider, like, as you mentioned lifting, nutrients, proper eating, proper sleeping, meditating, testosterone levels etc.
(because these things invariant of your feelings can really fuck you)
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Stop jerking your cock. Improve yourself. Provide value to your community.
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>>7353914
>You need to fall in love with yourself before you can love someone else

It's a catch-22 situation. You need to love yourself before other people will love you, but at the same time, you need the validation and support of someone else loving you before you're able to love yourself. This is why it's important to have a healthy social life growing up. If you fall outside this loop, it's over. You'll never love yourself enough to find a relationship.
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Someone else said it in this thread. Gotta love yourself before you can love anyone else.

I hate not knowing if who I am is the /real/ me. I have someone I'd like to be; A kind hearted, generous person who's a little fae around the edges and loves nature a bit too much, while still being a decent member of society. But is that who I really am?

Am I like the way I am, or do I aspire to be a certain way because these are traits that I like, or that I think will attract the people that I think will go for them?

I'm so terribly lost within myself, I second guess myself too much and never feel truly comfortable as a person and who I am. Perhaps that is a good thing, maybe. Perhaps I am meant, we are meant, to be this way to keep us ever evolving.

I don't know.

Try and discover yourself, OP.

I love you.
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>>7353343
youre looking for r9k bud
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>>7353343
You have to learn to love yourself first, and become independent. Not economically, but mentally.
If you can't live with yourself, you can't live with a woman. And in your current state, contrary to your belief, a girlfriend will not magically make things better.
What do you do for yourself? You lift, but I'm certain it's just to impress women. You have a career, but that's just to pay bills. What is it that you do for you?
Let me guess, you do nothing. "But," you might think, "if I had a gf, I would do lots of things with her." Such as? Lying in bed all day? Watching the ceiling? Going on boring walks in the park not talking? Fucking?
If you had a gf, how would it fulfill you? Odds are, you would just sit in quiet next to her and mumble something then stare at your phone to pretend you're busy.
There is no such thing as "social retardation", only social inexperience. You can't talk to people if you have nothing to talk about.
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>>7353343
Not a virgin do not lift wish I had a job, good for you anon, my advice is talk to girls, talk to girls for an amount of time and ask girl to eat dinner with you, buy wine or beer what ever she likes. While makin dinner you ask hear to joine you in the kitchen you drink a little bit while making dinner, go for a kiss and if she do not like it you have a bunch of nice food to eat, also 27 never had a real job, tell me how you got a decent job OP
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>>7362353
This is really one of the wisest posts i have seen in a long long time. I didnt plan on contributing but this post made me to.
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Don't worry about it. You don't have to like yourself keep lifting and become beastly and then strangle a bunch of women
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>>7354093
If you have no degree and are willing to work in rough locations you could always try oil and gas. Lot of the jobs will train you on site and will pay well. work would be 2 weeks on 1 week off kind of deal.
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>>7353343
Read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene and actually employ the tactics within. I have read it many times over the course of four years, and with every read I solidify my own tactics. We were not all blessed as a natural, but that does not mean you could not learn to be the natural. Hell, if you actually have a good job and money to throw around you may even be a rake. I personally enjoy playing the dandy. Better yourself man, regardless of how you look you can seduce all those you approach.
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>>7363472
As a follow up to my last statements, you are never going to feel less empty until you figure out how to fill yourself. Even with all of my seduction, playing the seducer in every situation, and being surrounded by whoever and whatever I want... I am still empty and full of self-loathing. The grass is not greener, and though I seek to grow my own it withers and dies the second I take a break. Sorry if this does not help you, OP, but you aren't alone. Go buy a pack of cigarettes, find the tallest building with roof access, get on the roof, pop a cigarette in your mouth, sit or stand on the edge as you smoke it and consider jumping. Doing this always lets me know whether or not life is still worth living; unfortunately I am just waiting with exuberance for the day I nut up and jump.
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>>7353343
For the first six months it might, but after that its like a filter, the right one will pass it.
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>>7353343
Chase your intrinsic values, not your extrinsic values. If you don't know what these two words mean, I didn't either until like a few days ago. Google it.

>find it hard to believe some external validation will make me like myself
Just the point I'm getting at

If you're curious about stuff like this, Johann Hari has a book called Lost Connections, where he explains how our entire culture is shaped in a way that makes us more depressed etc, and he backs it up with that sweet sweet science.
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>>7362353
This is both wrong and right at the same time. You have to accept how our culture is shaped for us to stand strong as an individual, and you should indeed get to know yourself. However this overshadows the fact that we're social creatures, we lived in tribes, and we were surrounded by other people both day and night. We were there to help each other when we were down, and to struggle for survival together. Chase those values and I promise you that you'll see where real happiness lies.
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Hey, here's some OC. got this little quote today.
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>>7363474
QotSA, nice taste
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>>7353367
anon, you should try mushrooms
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>>7353343
I just screwed up my relationship with a really nice girl.
Now I have gained like 10-15 pounds and i think I'm going to be alone forever.






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