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A wholesome thread ages ago where people just posted about their lives, really great and wanna put one up. Whats going on in your lives at the moment anons?

I'm studying at an institute i've wanted to for a while and its great. Some shit in life's hard at the moment but they're all new problems i've never experienced before at least.

Also post your favourite pic
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Bought a House. Struggling in finding the Balance between a Bad Landlord and a Good Friend. But Lifes good. Congrats on the institute Anon!
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I'm honestly feel like fading away.
Work makes me feel like I'm losing my mind.
Crush/good friends ..... I honestly hope we could just hang soon
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I feel like I've lost my mind lately. I feel so unmotivated that I have stopped talking to a girl I really liked and I feel like me and my best friend are falling apart. I don't know what to do anymore and I just hope everything gets back on track asap
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>>7396045
small steps can strangely help a lot in numb situations, a thing i do to keep myself a bit jolted from day to day is to take 1 risk a day, doesn't always present itself but when it does, do it i reckon

>>7396051
are there things keeping you too busy to talk to that girl or your mate? if there isn't, maybe if you could force yourself to arrange a weekly day to hang with the friend, also do you still like her?
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Uni's not going well, i basically have no real friends and future's not looking bright.
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>>7396008
I started the carnivore diet and my depression lifted.
>>
I've had this dream where i was with this girl that i really liked back in when i was a kid.
When i finished elemantary school i never have seen her again and i just forgot about it.
And then this fucking dream comes out of nowhere and makes me feel really bad.
Shit.
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>>7396093
a teacher once told me this, "have a little tee-hee-hee in your eyes", be a bit cheeky, helped me a lot

>>7396098
legit or meme?

>>7396099
hey at least it was a really nice and nostalgic dream right
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>>7396129
Yeah it really did, but the fact that i can't remember her name, and she was so beautyful and pure it makes me feel really bad.
I'll likely never see her again.
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>>7396269
I get that feel. It's the memory of innocence and purity before the knowledge of the world's true nature had been revealed. It's such a foreign time and mindset that it feels like it didn't even happen, or that it happened to someone else completely.
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>>7396008
Starting a job soon. Will be my first job in about 2 years. Finally overcoming a deep depression and trying to get back into the world and be a better person and give some kindness to others. Have gone through some major philosophical/worldview changes. Optimistic yet wary.
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>>7396008
Life has never felt weirder.

I got into several universities that I wanted to and managed to whittle down the list to the two cheapest ones. My grades in almost all of my classes are the best they've ever been. I have a gf and a very comfortable relationship, and I'm flooded with many new exciting opportunities.

And then there's my calc class. I was a dumbass and decided to take AP calc online, but lost motivation halfway through the course and just stopped submitting my work. I kept up studying and feel comfortable with the subject, but my grade in the class might destroy the future that I have built up for myself and I fucking hate myself for letting it get to the stage that it is. I just want off this ride.
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>>7396378
College has nothing to do with being smart or motivation anon. Your ego is massive and you haven't been humbled enough yet.
Learn it now before it is too late and you have 30k in debt and wither away to some shit job.
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>>7396008
Congrats on the institute OP, hopefully it is all you wanted and more.

My life feels as lifeless as ever, without any meaningful relationships, interests or objectives. I feel alone and fucking lost.

Seriously considering on abandoning Uni, thing is I don't know what to do afterwards. Or what to do now.

I stay positive most of the time, but the alienation sometimes just hits hard and makes me feel like doing nothing but stare at the ceiling.

>>7396051
I kind of understand that feeling and the only "advice" i can give you is to not drift apart from those around you, keep contact even if you don't really feel like it. Talk to them and tell them what's on your mind.
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>>7396275
man that's so great to hear, i'd imagine it being one of the most satisfying things to experience, wholesome

>>7396378
do this >>7396420

>>7396438
you got money? try travelling to a place in the world, no money? save up next year really hard and then try it out. i feel as if when life's nothing to offer, go and travel, you'll be meeting too many people to keep track of. There's something special about seeing a new place in life, not sure why, but it's happened to me and some others i know, might be able to undo some knots
>>
Everything is losing meaning. I’m still doing everything I was doing before, but now it doesn’t mean anything to me. I just do things to fill my time not because I want to. I feel like I’m fading away. Can’t find anything good or bad thats happening. I feel nothing. I’m not happy, but I’m not sad either. Before I was angry most of the time but now I don’t even have that.
(This is a pic I took with my 35mm film camera when I was in Spain)
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I'm turning 19 today,i'm finding it difficult to stay optimistic about my future but i feel like i'm getting wiser
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>>7396530
that numbness is such a familiar face. don't let people prescribe you with reasons why you're like this. it'll mess your head up.
>>
nice try NSA
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>>7396274
Did it happen to you too? I feel so lost and lonely.
Shit.
Again.
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>>7396099
Be lucky that you don't know how she turned out and that your feelings remained pure and wholesome. In 6th grade, I had this major crush on this one girl. She was perfect, blond hair, blue eyes, and athletic. In addition, she was very charming, funny, smart, caring and overall a wonderful person to be around. I developed a crush on her before even realizing it.

Over the course of the year, we got closer and closer together but right before I was able to ask her out (one of her friends told me that she liked me and dating was starting to catch on) I got the news that I was moving away at the end of the year and decided against doing anything.

She remained in my head as this perfect girl who I just never got the chance to be with, a memory that I cherished during periods of loneliness in my new school. I kept meaning to try and find her on social media or something and catch up on the times, but never got to it.

Anyway like a week ago I was able to meet up with one of my old friends from that school and found out, to my horror, that she became a landwhale feminist who keeps arguing with the school about putting in bathrooms for agender people, and in his words "became batshit fucking crazy."
>>
I feel alone and lost. My best friend of 7 years is moving to Germany, and I'm scared. I don't want her to forget about me.. she's like a sister to me, a sister I never had. I can't even sleep well anymore, that's when I'm truly alone, nobody's there, it's just me and my thoughts. Also I've been missing my grandmother a lot recently. My job is draining me physically and emotionally. And I need this money to pay bills and save up. Life sucks for me right now, and I don't it'll get better anytime soon. Sorry for ruining your wholesome thread, anon. Whoever's here right now... I hope your life is going better than mine
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It's all just so complicated I guess, my family is fighting constantly and I dont know how to get out of it, socially im doing fine but im failing a bunch of classes because I was admitted to a mental hospital. But today was good, I went on a date rollerskating and actually kissed her, so go me i guess.
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>>7396008
I've felt lost for the past 7 years. I'm 27 still living with my mom, and it's the most unmotivating thing ever. I'm afraid I'll never reach that financial security that I want for myself while doing a career that makes me happy. I have no idea what I want for my future, and the fact that I turn 28 in a few months makes me wish I could start over and settle for some NPC job.
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Finishing up Uni and it scares the living daylights out of me. I've been so focused on keeping grades up all four years (cum. gpa of 3.43 in an engineering program, even with a catastrophic second semester that resulted in a change of major) that I haven't had the chance to do much in the way of internships between years. The time for applying for them would come and go and before I knew it, summer was right there and I was left looking for an odd job instead of a major-related one. Now, as my last semester winds down to a close, I am still in the same position as the three previous mes, no applications sent out and probably working another odd job until I can find one that is suitable for the long haul. I want to be able to pay back my parents and help them get my three younger siblings through college, since they covered my sorry ass for most of it, but I am afraid I will not be able to do so. I know that isn't the right frame of mind to have, but I still worry.

Anywho, here's a smaller pape to chuckle at.
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surely there's something going on in people's lives that aren't purely grey and lifeless, could be hard to see but if there's a small little goal you want that's quick to do, say it as well, could be to make your mom dinner tonight or once this week. Set a small goal like that, helped me a lot when i was feeling really REALLY down
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Lost my previous ASM job for a month trying to make working conditions better. My (former) good friend ratted me out to the manager that I was going to go over his head, which was something I was allowed to do at that job, but he fired me two days before the big meeting. It uprooted my entire life. He made it impossible for me to get government assistance by lying about the facts of my termination and having HR delete my work email account so I couldn't file an appeal with evidence. It put me in such financial straits but things are looking better now that I'm employed again.

But I lost a friend who I really invested in. That betrayal kinda fucked me up. To cope I've been sleeping with people in a self-destructive way. Recently it's been with this one guy that absolutely sucks at sex but gives me enough attention and allows me to feel like none of my life matters outside of the hour we spend together. I've been so depressed, getting high, drinking, being reckless. I don't really know how to get out of my head and stop feeling so self-deprecating. It's like assholes get everything they want in life while good people wilt in their destruction. Not a good outlook, I know but shit is still too raw for me to feel otherwise.

Pape is literally me as I'm writing this.
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Attending my dream school on scholarship and establishing myself as one of the top students here. It's a lot of work and very stressful, but I really feel like I've found my meaning in life.

Loneliness is still loneliness, but I've been eating healthy and drinking a lot of water, and I've lost 5 pounds in the past week.

Started reading again, and I'm loving the work of Khalil Gibran. His work really makes me feel confident in my direction and development in life.

The weather is getting warmer, I'm getting better, and things are really looking up from here.

Life is fucking awesome.
>>
>>7397279
Assholes only seem to get ahead in the short term, but they will never know the joy and reap the rewards of truly walking the righteous path and doing the right thing. That's some shit that catches up with you on your deathbed, and I really pity the people who will never know how it feels to not be a jerk.
>>
I have a beautiful and supporting girlfriend.

On the other side, I'm finishing college this year, but I don't have any job or future prospects. I'll probably stay one more year and take one more major.

I'm getting fatter and fatter by the day, while my gf is 10/10, which fucks with my self-steem.

Things are pretty good.
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I'm on a relationship with a wonderful woman, that supports me on almost anything. I'm finishing college this year, too (Biology). I have a pretty good resumé (2 scientific articles, a Springer book chapter and some other stuff too). THe problem is, i'm brazillian, and this is ptobably the worst time to finish college here. Our president is gradually taking away our scholarships (but i'm aware that this started before Bolsonaro, on Michel Temer's government). So, it's almost impossible for me (lower- middle class), to keep researching. I'll try to convince my tutor to let me work while taking my master degree (wich starts next year, if i'm competent enough). So, i'm feeling really bad. I have done a lot of interesting and relevant stuff in all this years, but none of this counts now.
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been working a new position at my job (baking) that gives me a much more open schedule compared to what i used to do (i had to be up at 2:15 am for work everyday before), allowing me to have a much more fulfilling social life.
finally getting over a bad breakup that happened right around my birthday / the holidays, winter was really shitty, but i'm really looking forward to the growth and change i'll be experiencing this spring.
Recently started seeing a girl and everything has been clicking and feels really good. we have similar goals, stuff we like and want the same sort of stuff out of a relationship. she's also just super supportive and comforting. She's also probably the most attractive person i've ever been with.
Have also just been working on making positive changes in my life. stopped spending a dumb amount of time watching porn. eating healthier and exorcising. started reading more comics and books. recently got into building gunpla, which has been something i've wanted to try for ages. just in general focusing on my physical and mental health more.
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>>7397279
this >>7397283
i think to take on a burden doing acts of goodness for the world that make you feel stronger is a way to find peace, self deprecating thoughs might disperse after that
good luck anon, hard situation but stay tough
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>>7397282
right on anon, very warming to read something so wholesome

>>7397296
priorities mang, you'll probably decide to lose weight once college isn't as taut on you

>>7397413
good luck on it brazilian anon, stop and smell the flowers sometimes my friend

>>7397436
damn thats great to hear dude, hope the uphill life is a good one from now on, good luck!
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>>7396008
Is
>Been getting gains and looking better
>My business at home is very slowly snowballing
>for the first time in my life, i can't wait for the future

Isn't
>My dad has cancer and is accepting this to be the end for him
>He's my role model, simply because life has spat on him and he's just given life the middle finger and raised through the ashes
>my relationship with my gf is rocky, but it's nothing we can't get past
>>
(pic I took) High stress, feel like I'm running out of time, feel like I'm missing out/being left behind. I have an extremely deep interest in space, always have, born and raised in a city enriched with space race heritage (I live really close the plant that won the contract to design and build the space shuttles) my favorite place as a child was the Griffith Observatory. Just a childhood embedded with curiosity of the cosmos and their workings, and a deep interesting in mechanical stuff, I'm a gear head, really into cars, love rockets, planes, etc. Stuff like that. I'm sure others feel it, but when I look at the stars I get this overwhelming feeling, like I'm being called, I cannot stress this feeling like if I don't follow this calling I will regret it for the rest of my life. My problem is I'm in school right now (second semester of college, first year) trying to become a mechanical engineer but I can't get the classes I need as they're closed by the time I get to sign up. Depressed because I've come to the realization that I do not have what it takes to pursue astrophysics, I would love to study the cosmos and how it works but when it comes to math I am god awful, but science classes, engineering classes, it clicks, I understand everything, I understand the physics pretty well, it's just the actual math part like the calculus classes that are really raping me. (1/2)
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>>7397590
So I've been deciding on whether or not I should join the military, get the post 9/11 GI Bill, so that after my service hopefully my more developed brain will decide what it should, and attend a school without the worry of student debt and hopefully pursue a career working as an aerospace engineer. But I also feel like I'm running out of time as my friends and close ones progress with their lives, I want advice, serious advice please, I know this is random and weird to post in wallpaper general but I've been needing to just talk about it for some time now, and I don't feel like I can talk about it with my family or friends. (2/2)
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>>7397501
love small business owners! what do you sell or make, friend?
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In love with a really close friend. We're both in relationships... but the way they make me feel when they look at me just makes my heart jump out of my chest. I keep trying to move on but then they do something that solidifies my suspicion that they feel the same way as me.
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I have everything a person should have to be happy in life. So, why am I still depressed? I see my idiot co-workers loving doing nothing but watching football and drinking and they're the happiest people alive. Maybe I should quit thinking and just turn my brain off.
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>>7396098
I've been on that diet for a few months. I feel a lot better than I did, still waves of depression though. Check out parmcrisps for a good snack.

>>7396275
Good on you.

>>7396530
Apathy might be the word you're looking for. I feel the same a lot. Have to find hobbies or something you like. I paint warhammer 40k for friends and read about history. Really great picture though, my new background.
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>>7396099

Anon, The exact same happenned to me. I liked a girl in highschool, five years afterr seeing her last time, I dreamt about her, and then, a week later, as I am getting drunk in a bar on a Friday night, I saw her entering. Fun fact: she was single. We are marrying next year.

I have never believed in abnormal shit, and I'm not saying it will happen to you, it was more than likely a cosmic coincidence, but you know, sometimes shit happens when you don't expect it to get better, but it does, it is all a big dice roll and there is nothing we can do to control it, just buckle tight and enjoy the ride, today you are blue, tomorrow you don't know. Be yourself, learn to love yourself and to take care of your mind and then someone will come.
>>
Dealing my lifelong anxiety disorder and finding a job after a half year hiatus
>>
Learning from the world, working hard on myself. no more procrastination just me and what i always wanted to do.
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>>7397618
wow really happy for you anon!
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>>7397501
i honestly think that your dad giving the middle finger to death is a definite IS for life, what a goddamn champion jesus
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Someone I care about is going through a tough time medically and I'm trying to get together the money to help them out, I hope things work out.
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>>7397591
god, i dont know how else to say this because this is quite a retarded way of thinking, but its my way. die for your dreams, pursue it and die for it man, let your candle be so insanely ferocious that the thing melts in a second but jesus at least you gave it that second, inspiring to others and hey, what if you became able to study astrophysics properly. Good luck anon, take us to the stars

>>7397609
whats your ULTIMATE dream in life? fame? fortune? what satisfies you?

>>7397624
half year isn't too long, good luck with it!
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>>7397750
that's hard, if you can see the fact that that person's soul is seriously warmed by your actions, i think in the end, good comes from it.
godspeed kind anon, hope it all goes 150%
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>>7397756
They've been through a lot of shit before, so I'm pretty sure they'll be fine, doesn't make it any less worrying though.
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Everything is fine I guess. Besides you know, lacking a qt3.14 gf and all.
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>>7396274
>If only you knew how bad things really are.
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>>7397771
Also there's this one girl in class that's ho cute it physiclly hurts. She has a bf though. Trying to read scripture every day, and get my shit toghether school-wise.
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>>7397752
Ultimate dream? I'd like to have a small farm, be self sufficient I guess. Grew up on a farm and miss that lifestyle. Just some chickens and goats, small garden, ect. I'm sure I'll get there, it's just right now I'm kind of in limbo.
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have been depressed as fuck for no reason
weed is just giving me panic attacks at this point too
dont know what to do anymore
>>
26. Life is stable in that I own a car, have a steady job, and a place to live, but I'm stuck in this exact configuration. Any deviance would crash my whole world. Stuck in a malaise of ever worsening depression that has persisted to varying degrees for more than a decade. Situation sucks.
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>>7396903
just means you are a shit judge of character my dude
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I'm in a relationship with a wonderful person, and I'm very happy with him. But I'm feeling very depressed. I will be graduating university next year, and I want to move on to a grad program I'm worried that my resume just isn't exciting enough to get me in anywhere I want to go.
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>>7397803
Stop smoking reefer cold turkey, get a good diet going and go outside more. I've been in your situation and it gets better if you start taking care of yourself.
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Im very, very good right now. I'm going to college this fall after a two-year sabbatical after upper-secondary. I'm feeling appreciated, working a good job which means I'm able to indulge in my hobbies (mexican cooking and fashion, it gets really expensive). I've been working very intensely on picking my mental health up over the past couple of years and it's starting to pay off, big time. Life is good and getting better. Sorry if I'm being to cheery but writing it all out like this makes me realize how far I've come.
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Going back to finish my master's in mathematics in a few months, took a year off due to mental health memes, struggling to come to terms with sexuality but eventually got over it.

Been working in a warehousing job for the meantime as I don't live in a fantastic area and the depressive atmosphere has given me new breath, my time there is limited and moreover the flame has been rekindled, I cannot sentence myself to such a job forever so I must pursue my education further(PhD and research is end goal), I am thankful for what ordinarily one would be detesting of.
>>
>>7397872
i barely smoke weed at all
i go outside, i eat decent nothing fucking helps
>>
>>7397879
Go to a doctor, seriously. So many people dont realize their bodies are fighting them, it's a chemical thing that needs medicine and at times therapy to work with.
>>
The semester is about to be out. I am from South Carolina. I moving to Amsterdam for the summer. To do ministry work, like a missionary of some sort. When i was there on spring break i met a girl on the street at night, when i was walking with a friend form South Africa. She heard my southern accent and loved it. She's about to finish High School, and is born and raised in Amsterdam, and from a good family. We message often and we are going to spend the summer together. She doesn't believe in God, but I have never met a girl like her. I told her we couldn't date since she's not Christian. We walked around the city for about 4 hours then shared a slice of cheesecake and We kissed.
>>
>>7397930
(Continuation of the Amsterdam story) I am moving to Amsterdam for three months, when i get back to the states i am going to a different university that is away from my parents and aging grandparents. I know life is about to change forever, as it always does. Also i am not finishing the semester out strong, because since I went to Amsterdam, meeting so many people that are just like me (Ive never really been a great fit in SC, but have good friends here) but there everyone i met was so awesome. I am excited to go back and feel homesick for there, but i am going to fail math this semester. My other classes will be decent.
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>>7397930
(Just to clarify a bit) She doesn't mind me being Christian and we still are have a strong connection. I rarely ever ever fall for girls. But from the moment we met, we liked one another.

A side note, I do feel that a lot of people need faith, and ive been called to do missionary work. I know its strange for some of you. But so many of our problems are with us carrying our own baggage and seeking others for love and acceptance. Christ loves you.

Matthew 11:28-29 King James Version (KJV)
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
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>>7397872
When i stopped smoking weed my life improved a ton, better grades. Started being my normal social self again. And could listen to music not high and enjoy it. Congrats man! keep it up.
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>>7397474
You seem like a good guy yourself anon
>>
>>7397609
We will never be fulfilled from Worldy things, follow Christ Anon!
>>
I rely on weed as relief for my 'major depressive bipolar disorder' which swings me into worse and more intense low moods, but before I started smoking everything weighed a ton more and I couldn't even leave my house but as antidepressants are, it is a boost and something with side effects for me to drop when I feel necessary.
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>is
Grades at my institution are going for good for the most part. Roughly gauging a B average right now I think. Would rather It be at least A-.

Finally gotten out of the NEET / Shut-in life. feelskindagoodman. This is after about 3-4 years on/off after living it.

Got some more meds to help stop with ethanol consumption. Nice that the doc trusts me enough.

>isn't
Romantic relationships or lack thereof. Just want to make someone feel special you know?

Academic pressures.

Making sure I don't get addicted psychologically/physically to previous meds.

Being in society brings its happiness and sadness, such is life is it not? I'd like to think the happiness is winning right now.

Nice thread OP. If anyone wants some life advice. Reply to me and I'll try my best to help.


>>
>>7397976
You will find someone, wait on God's perfect timing. It's good you've gotten out of NEET, and social life is good, depending on who you are around. Find positive people, in church or any place that is known to be supportive and social.
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Yesterday I finally had to cease contact with my mom. its been a long time of mental abuse. I feel like I betrayed her. but after all the things she's done in the past, I also don't feel bad. I feel really empty. I thought about killing myself again last night but I just ended up drinking. I'm hoping the family forgives me for this.
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>>7397988
i know shit gets rough, but honestly, dont leave this world on the wrong terms, everyone suffers from your death
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My career/work life feels like a disaster and I feel like a huge disappointment

I'm 23 and i'm about to graduate with a useless bachelor's degree. The plan was to go to grad school but I don't want to do that anymore nor do I think I can. I've been working at a gym for the past 5 years in high school and all of college. I have no idea what i'm going to do guys, depeserately trying to figure out my life

On the flip side, i'm a pretty happy person and i've had a blast these last 4 years and accomplished a lot of personal goals
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My parents are getting divorced and im 23. Bit late for that.
In college for CompSci and CyberSec, have been doing offensive security with the CyberSec club here - im set up pretty well.
Shipping off this summer for a pentesting internship. Over all things are aight.
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>>7398198
My parents got divorced when I was 25. That's an odd feeling.

Just got out of the military, just started working as a cop. I'm pretty good at it so far.
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>>7397893
if i were able to i would have a while ago
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>>7398289
Dont tell me, insurance missing or not enough. You might want to discuss stuff with a local doctor - they might offer a few programs that you can get through your city or state. This is of course a lot of work cause you will need to apply for things, and you might have to hit rock bottom to get to the point you will do this. I am of course assuming you might live in an English speaking country, which if i am wrong - my bad. As a person who had to search out help and got it when i needed it - i hope you too will one day get that.
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>>7398296
its not about anything like that
its about family stuff, but id rather not get into that
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>>7398296
>>7398298
i appreciate you trying to help though thank you
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I'm 28. I used to earn really good money as a software dev. But after some time, when all your needs are met, you realize money means nothing. So I decided to do what I always wanted - study math at best university in my country. Its super difficult. This is a real test for me. When you slack off at life, you can always say "I could have done that but I did't try". That's comfortable. But when you decide to put your very best in a goal that only you see reasonable, that a whole different story. You might learn things about yourself you didn't wanted to know. But it also makes you alive. I'm 28, I quit my job, I moved in with my mom. I feel like I've taken huge step back. But this is my personal fight, my pursuit of excellence. I cannot quit until i give it my best.
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Is?
>Almost done with school
>Certain that my current relationship will last awhile
>Going to get more hours at work
>Getting g a i n s

Isn't?
>I think my cat hates me
>Worried about not getting a certification before I graduate
>Worried about poor budgeting
>Starting to have ticks more often, and I cough more than normally
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>>7398324
I don't think you can live your life a better way, godspeed man.
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>>7396093
Yeah Uni without friends is 10x worse, demoralizing.
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I no longer have any friends. I feel desperate for friendship but when I meet people I feel almost disgusted by them and confused by the things they say and do. I don't know if it's me or the people I am coming in contact with. I am not learning anything at my uni and I am unable to go to a better one at the moment. I will probably end up dropping out.
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>>7398458
you like decent music tho based on the wallpaper
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>>7397974
Christ man this is too real
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>>7398458
Check out Milo, he's not a lot like Doom, but they both evoke a similar feeling for me
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Finally making enough/saved enough/found enough roommates
to move from an apartment in the shit area
to a rental house in a slightly better area.

Hoping the shorter commute leaves me more time and energy to find a better source of income.
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Still just plodding away as a rideshare driver, knowing I have little to no future ahead of me. On-again-off-again struggling with my gender identity as I figure myself out, despite support from everyone around me. Dealing with watching a family member slowly slip away from multiple lung diseases. Struggling with my own mental health issues due to an abusive "employment" system that puts healthcare out of reach for me financially because I'm "self employed" as a driver and an increasing rage at the way healthcare in this third world shithole works, being tied to real employment.
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I got a job at a warehouse with a coffee company, and I finally feel like things are looking up. Pulled myself out of debt, and I might be able to finally buy a home by at least next year.

Hoping I don't fall in love with the wrong kinda girl again and end up losing everything a fourth time. I'm at a point where I'm happier being alone.
>>
Everything turning failure as no job no girl no success at college,the weird thing i accept this and cope up with it
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>>7397782
maybe everything you do as a career can be like a tunnel leading to that life then, know that you're most likely working towards achieving your person dream, good luck

>>7397874
never be sorry for being cheery anon, good on ya man, hope it all persists

>>7397935
don't let her go anon, you'll both be so dissatisfied if you don't go for it, try it definitely

>>7398184
if you haven't tried yet, buckle down for a week writing goals down and talking to as many people as you can for a job relating to your degree, hope it goes well

>>7398324
10/10

>>7398458
unironically watch self help vids man, will help lots
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Anyone else worried about climate change? Gets my anxiety going everytime. I don't want to starve (which I don't think I will) but I REALLY don't want a shit ton of climate refugees coming into my state.
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>>7397618
same thing happened to me, except i was in line in a restaurant and i heard the door open behind me. swear on my whole family, i thought "thats her". looked behind me and it was her, alone. in a city of 200,000. hadnt seen her in 8 years. i paniced and missed my shot there, but life goes on
>>
I went abroad and fell out of touch with a lot of friends, came back and I saw them the first week I arrived and that's the last time I saw them. Their routines changed and it's just not the same.
I'm about to graduate from Uni, this last semester I have felt so unmotivated, even though I enjoy what I study, I'm just fed up about the courses that feel pointless.
I have felt so lost regarding my identity I never went through something like this. I want to change my behavior to be more social, but at the same time I don't know if the sacrifice is worth it or how much of myself.
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>>7398551
forgot to add a pape
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>>7397282
Be careful with this direction, I used to be pretty quiet in the classroom and focus in getting good grades, this last semester I decided to be more talkative with my classmates and found they thought I was an asshole, lol.
>>7397296
Tbh I don't think if you were that bad you would be with a 10/10 but you should work on that, and finishing college should make things easier, just apply to multiple options
>>7397602
Whatever you do I hope you respect your partner
>>7398537
Maybe I'm not expressing it right, but I hope you get my point:
If things that are so out of your control like climate change are starting to bother you heavily, maybe you should worry more about yourself. You won't really make a difference in this problem and even less if you are at peace with yourself (which is a really hard thing to achieve imo)
>>
>>7398537
>>7398556
I know I can't do anything, but it still fucks me up. It snowed here two days ago, and today it was 76. In the last two years I've seen three tornados while I've seen maybe 3 in the last 20 years. Shit is speeding up it seems. I've been stocking ammo and food. No water yet. We have a few months of food saved back now. Still fucks me up though. you're right though. I need to work on me.
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>>7396008
I was in a bad place in the winter months, the ones where you wake up and stare at nothing for hours. It all felt pointless. I've changed my outlook, running helped a lot, I went veggie, I eat healthier. Recently went clubbing on holiday and danced with a very attractive girl, but made every excuse in the book that I could to justify why this would be happening other than that she just found me attractive too. Rationalising that has given me a huge confidence boost, women CAN find me attractive, I can run every day, I can be better. Now I just have to keep riding the wave. Here's a cute girl rice I made ages ago.
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>>7397825
Life doesn't have value until you acknowledge that it doesn't have inherent meaning and that you'll live on instead of killing yourself. Once you've decided that, you can choose any meaning to life.

I hope you find your meaning. I hope you find peace. Sorry Anon.
>>
Been seeing a therapist, opening up to people more, actually starting to find my place at work and not just like I stumbled into it and that I'm just some sort of impostor

>came here to find a new wallpaper for my phone
>get feelings
You're alright /wg/, wish I had images to contribute
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>>7398585
damn congrats on getting out of that mindset man, hard climb but well worth it as im sure you can testify, godspeed anon, hope it all keeps up!
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i'm doing okay i think. i'm worried what the future entails but things recently have been slightly improving for me. i was a student at a university but i'm currently out this semester to pay off my bill for last semester. i didn't take out a student loan for whatever reason but i'm considering doing it here soon as i know all loans aren't inherently bad. that being said, my financial knowledge is rather lacking and i don't know what i should be doing. i have a steady job so i'm just working and waiting to see what happens this fall. i'm trying to not look too far down the line so i don't make myself even more depressed and have been recently trying to shift my focus to just work through each day. just trying to reach out to others for insight and advice because the future can go a thousand directions and in some respects, i don't know what i want to do for hte rest of my life
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>>7399084
A lot of people aren't lucky enough to have the friends I do, and experience the things I have (like the holiday realisation) but for anyone else I seriously recommend running, and gym is not a meme. I can only speak for myself but my worst times were causes by thinking about how my life was at such a standstill. A job I hate, an apartment I can't stand, living in my own, smoking weed every night just chasing instant gratification, no women to speak of, no goals, nothing. I said to myself if I can't even run for 20 minutes every day, how the fuck can I get out of this rut, or get through anything for that matter? The act of running for a period of time too, you HAVE to keep going through the pain, you have to set yourself goals and you start realising 20 minutes on that treadmill is like life. Running in place, going through pain, but when you push through it and hit your goal you're rewarded with a rush of endorphins, dopamine, satisfaction. Hoping I can apply this to the arts and finally find something fulfilling to do with my time.

A lot of people have it far worse than me, but the only person who is gonna pull you out of the mud in this world is you, a fact I cannot stand, but had to accept.
>>
Joined an IT internship-style school , and got a gig at the biggest civilian/military aerospace contractor in my country, in the capital.I know I'll crush the interview because I'm bilingual and good , but I'm kind of afraid of putting the burden of living in the capital on my mom's back.
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>>7399107
helping others can be quite satisfying, if there's someone at your work at the moment who you think is a bit down on his luck, talk to them and grab some food with them sometime
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>>7397609
Maybe stop looking down at other people, anon. Humility is one hell of a lesson to learn in life. Iearned to respect people and their opinions, aspirations and the thing they enjoy. I realized that I was a spoiled and privileged person incapable of giving back. Now I try to give back, even just a little bit. Every single act gives me a sense of fullfilment in life
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I guess I'm just tired of debating people online and putting effort into my posts only for the other guy to reply with a smug anime girl or a one word meme reply.
I don't understand what people get out of it. Cheap laughs? It's the same when I see a thread about a serious topic, like a religious debate, get posted and for both sides to post the same tired one liners and overused arguments they've been posting since the board opened its doors, especially when it's clear neither side is really serious about what they're arguing for but are just doing it for a particular image or for attention.
It's tiresome. Post irony is tiresome. It's like people think holding a genuine opinion is too risky so they just couch their real opinions in layers of memes until someone attacks them for it and they act like they were merely pretending the whole time.
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I've been pretty lonely for most of my life. Wherever I go I usually end up alienating people anyway.
Right now I'm in the military but I'm just as lonely as I was outside. People in my unit don't hate me per se but I'm not close with anyone and nobody wants to be close to me. Outside work I have no life. I spend every day after getting off idly browsing 4chan or mindlessly playing video games. On weekends I do the same but sleep more.
I miss my family but I don't have the leave saved up or the means to go home right now and won't for at least a couple months.
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>>7399787
I took that picture and this one as well during a road trip with a couple friends after graduating high school. Following the trip both of them stopped speaking with me and I never found out why.
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>>7399787
same here anon. just keep hanging in there bud.
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>>7399419
thanks for the advice anon i'll give it a shot
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>>7399786
it's definitely annoying, but i think the best thing to do is take responsibility in that situation. know that people have the power because it's an anonymous board, so debate with friends in person. smug anime girl posters might not take things seriously enough, but it also could be that you're taking things too seriously too.
good luck anon, message an old friend and get some dinner in the city

>>7399787
are you a quiet person? if so, chuck a few weird risky jokes out there in the moment if you think of any during a convo. A teacher once said 'better to be hated and loved than to be in the middle', godspeed
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Im 27 and 8 years ago my whole family died.

My father got to hospital and was diagnosed with lung cancer. Was on a vacation during this time and couldnt say goodbye to a man that actually hit me during his drinking sessions. Still love him to this day. 3 Months later my mother was diagnosed the same thing. Stayed at home but since the cancer is destroying organs she is screaming and crying all night.
For 2 weeks straight she´s in constant pain. One night she asks me to kill her and wants to end the pain. Cant do anything. Felt so lonely.
2 Months Later she dies too. Left with my grandmother. A month later shes having a stroke from all the grief she must have been through burying her own child. From there i visited her daily in the hospital. She cant speak anymore but she was there. I read storys from the newspaper so she doesnt feel to lonely. Last person i have left. She got a second stroke and was completely gone. The last few minutes of her life, she cried and i took her hand and told her everything is going to be okay. She can be with my grandfather and with her daughter. Lost my traineeship afterwards. 1 year without a job just living into the day. Decided to either kill myself or get my ass off the ground. I moved to berlin and started a new life.

On the last 8 years i constantly dream about my mother crying and asking for death. I know im fucked up. But every day of my life is something i have to endure for the family i lost.
And im thankful for every piece of life coming at me.

Everyone of you struggling will endure it. Everyone of you having problems and not being happy with the way things go, will find a way through it. You are all amazing people going through shit. Never back down and embrace life.
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Good thread. Been lurking and had a bit of an epiphany from reading some of these. Now spending some time to listen to some music, undistracted, which I need to do more.

Thank you for quality papes!
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>>7396530
Try meditation. I know the void you're describing and the only thing that can occasionally snap me out of it is meditating.
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>>7397930
God bless you. The Netherlands needs more Christians. I feel a little better about moving there to be with my fiancé now.
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>>7397935
People just need to love themselves.
>>
>30 yo boomer
>feel dead inside
>don't even care much at this point
favorite pape atm
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>>7398537
climate change is a fraud. they've been pushing the doomsday shit since the 1800s.
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>>7399892
Thanks bro..
To think that you passes through all this makes my problems so insignificant.
You are truly an amazing person.
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>>7399892
goddamn my man, powerful life you've had to walk through, takes real confidence and being on your own two feet to not kill yourself immediately after that, but better yet, endure and understand the fulfillment life can give.
right fucking on man, good luck forever, i hope you have descendants
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>>7399922
she really is gorgeous in that movie isn't she, also if you're dead inside, maybe a partner could revive it
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>>7396008
I live with my parents, I'm starting college for the 3rd time, same field as my dad, he lost all the hopes that I will be good at it, he says I'm to old (21) and he says I collect failures but I don't know I still feel that I can do it and because of that he's giving me less and less money, I'm fat and trying to get fit, realized that I don't have a lot of friends and I'm trying to improve that, I don't know who am I, I feel that I'm lost in life but I have goals and I don't know why but I know that I need to focus at my goals and keep going forward but I see all my friends making money and I'm stuck at the same point in life and I never had a girlfriend and I'm trying to find some cool girl to be in my life
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>>7397935
The only bible part that I remember and I repeat to my self is:
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
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My GF asked for "a break" because she doesnt know if she still loves me. To be honest, I can't blame her too much, I've been too much of a pussy for the past 3 months of the relationship, asking her if everything's alright like twice a week and shit, and I kind of lost my sense of humor a bit. Basically I de-ranked from an "alpha-lite" to a beta because it's the first time I actually love someone and my Uni is on the other side of the country.

Fortunately I started working out everyday and I'm currently working on my insecurities. If anyone has any advice I'm glad to hear it
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I'm writing my final exams after HS to get into university, but there's teachers strike in my country and I don't know if I get to write those in first term and next term means no place in good universities. I've got great friends and family and that's keeping me away from giving in to stress, but man, I understand that teachers need higher pays, okay, but why are they doing it when it hurts not the government, but students and their parents. I know that it might be not as important as I think it is, but it's all I have now and I don't want to waste all of my education, especially because I always pursued to be the best, until I got into HS I had maybe 3 friends that were not to exploit me, only in HS I met so many great, really smart people who understood me because they're the same as me. It's hard to explain, but I feel like when I fail those exams I fail at my life and everything I've done up to this point was pointless. It's changing a little now as I have finally met somebody that loves me as much as I love her and I never thought having a girlfriend who loves you so much can be such a great feeling.
>inb4 underage
In my country you finish HS when you're 19
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I am working furiously on a pollutant transport equation. My wife is loving and lets me work without complaint. My 2 children are growing well. Life is pretty sweet right now. I hope this will last.
>>
I had a really good lsd trip in nature yesterday, read a book by the riverside and when I fell asleep the birdsinging was still ringing in my ears. Have a great ride everyone!
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>>7400090
>>
>>7400029

I've been through the same thing. I don't think you should hold on to your girlfriend. Find a project (e.g. work, studies, friends, hobby, etc.) and dedicate yourself to it. Maybe life will do the job and give you another chance.
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>>7400029
Unfortunately we are mens, you can only show your feelings if you know the person really loves you, and you gotta be sure about that.
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>>7398534
you're a kind soul anon
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>>7400168
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I have been struggling to find motivation for the most basic tasks. Also lost motivation to go out with friends and socialize, I know it's a bad road to go down but I don't know why I'm feeling like this and I'm struggling to get back on track from feeling so helpless.
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I wish I could get hit by a car tomorrow. Or develop a sudden brain tumor. A fatal aneurysm with no warning signs would be nice too. I wouldn't say no to falling asleep and never waking up either.
I'm tired of living my life. I shouldn't have been born. All I've ever done is cause others grief for no reason. My parents deserved someone less mediocre, smarter, more grateful, without the emotional issues and addiction problems.
I keep asking to just drop dead on the spot but I keep on living anyway.
I'll just keep on going through the same routine, day after day, year after year, until it happens, or until I find a foolproof way of making suicide look like an accident.
>>
>>7400174
Find happiness in something small and it can be as small as getting yourself a glass of water in the morning. From there build it up and the motivation will hopefully come naturally. I'm sure you are smart as you can see it is a bad road to go down. For example, even if you don't feel like it force yourself to do 10 press ups everyday. 2 in the morning 8 in the evening etc. But always 10 a day.

Sometimes people just need a break from everything and maybe that is where you are now. That itself is not bad but making it habit is unhealthy.

>>7400184
Having felt the situation you are in. I'll try address what you have said point by point.
>I wish I could get hit by a car tomorrow. Or develop a sudden brain tumor. A fatal aneurysm with no warning signs would be nice too. I wouldn't say no to falling asleep and never waking up either.
This a permanent solution to a finite problem that you have now believed to be infinite. So I get the feeling behind the words. All I can say is as hard as it is try to brush those thoughts aside and replace them whenever they come up with something positive. Whatever that may be. Recondition your brain slowly but surely to think positive.
>I'm tired of living my life. I shouldn't have been born. All I've ever done is cause others grief for no reason. My parents deserved someone less mediocre, smarter, more grateful, without the emotional issues and addiction problems.
This is a harder feeling to deal with. However I find a lot of the time the amount of grief you think you have cause is less than you might expect. If your parents deserve what you say they do. Slowly but surely change those negatives into positives one by one. For example you say "more grateful", tell them thank you for putting a roof over my head, Thank you for buying that food or drink that one time. Simple things but I'm sure that your parents would be happy to hear those words. I'll con't in the next post.
>>
>>7400247
>I keep asking to just drop dead on the spot but I keep on living anyway.
I'll just keep on going through the same routine, day after day, year after year, until it happens, or until I find a foolproof way of making suicide look like an accident.
As I said that is a permanent solution to a finite problem. Change your routine even just by the the littlest bit and your own rate. Maybe you do the same routine for first 6 days but on the 7th buy a plant and plant it. Find an outlet for your emotions, write a poem. Let them go from your mind to paper so your mind can become clear to not focus on these current thoughts.

The saying everything will be better in time. I like to not take it so literally but if your day is a tiny bit better each day, you may look back in a year or 5 or 10 and realize. Hey life isn't perfect but it is better.

You have trapped yourself in this vicious circle where you see suicide is the only exit. Living can also be an exit to this circle. It won;t change overnight but little by little it will change and you may not notice it. By the time you do notice it will be a good thing.

Hopefully I have helped or at least given some advice that may be of use. Best wishes anon.
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Lately i have been feeling like utter trash, that nothing i do is good enough, i just look at my sorroundings and think that the deep shit that im in will never get better that i will never accomplish anything good in life, im worthless i cry myself to sleep almost every night thinking about the future and the possibility that everyone i have met will be better off with me off the picture
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>>7400184 and >>7400250
definitely read this and think about it completely, as long as you help people in more ways than you hurt people (likely quite few), then your life has absolute meaning, then imagine where you could go from there.
dont give up hope yet fellas, people would love your help and company

>>7399971
hey man glad to hear you're chasing those goals and not thinking too neurotically about the lower lights of life, you've had 3 years in the downside, spend the next 60 continually climbing my man, good luck!
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>>7400276
read this meaning this post >>7400247 + >>7400248
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2017/8 were two particularly bad years for me, I dropped out of university and fell into NEET life wasting my savings and doing nothing productive, ended up in a very bad place mentally and it seemed like it wasn't going to get better.

But then it did. I landed a job that made me enough money to go out and start socializing again, reconnected with friends and eventually found myself in a place where i'm able to start steadily making improvements in multiple areas of my life.

Then out of nowhere comes this girl, first time i've ever dated anyone which is exciting and terrifying at the same time. It was difficult to wrap my head around a woman actually expressing interest in me, but maybe I need to start giving myself more credit.

2019 has been very good to me so far, and for the first time in many, many years I feel like my life is on an upward trajectory and I just feel so happy. We're all gonna make it.
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>>7397413
(Also, this is an album cover from a band called Cut Copy. The album is called Zonoscope and its fucking great)




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