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File: Bigfoot-live.jpg (81 KB, 600x600)
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I think I can fuck up a bigfoot with bare hands

I practice MMA for 7 years now, boxing in parallel for 6 years, I could. Not to count strength training at the gym for 4 years, 6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.

I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the bigfoot is finished.

You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible. First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything. Any man with a minimum of training can beat a bigfoot with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.
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>>20779867
Faggot
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Of course you can, anon. Without bigfoot the firests will be safe. Even with the beast rummaging through the woods, you can safely take a hike through the forest. Altrough, i wouldn't worry about it.
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>>20779878
be careful anon, op could fuck you up
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>>20779867
you dumbass
go box a gorilla
even a small one he's going to rip you the fuck in half
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>>20779867
I can fuck you up with one spell.
, so who cares. Should have studied magic instead of mma
Thank you Jesus
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Nigga.
That nigga will literally slap the head off your neck.
FATALITY
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Hi didn’t know joe rogen came on /X/
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>>20779867
You could start by fighting monkeys... see how it goes. Then upgrade to gorillas and last bigfoot.
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In 1923, Bauman noted that every expert in the field believed apes were vastly stronger than humans—yet none had ever tried to prove it. So he packed up a device used to measure pull strength, called a dynamometer, and set out for the Bronx Zoo.

The apes were less-than-willing participants in the study. They were more apt to tear apart the shiny dynamometer than pull on it, and, unless the ape had a "distinctly vicious disposition," she was unlikely to approach the experimental task with much vigor. Bauman managed to rig his device outside the cage, feeding in a rope for the apes to work on. Then, amazingly, one of the Bronx chimpanzees—a former circus ape named Suzette—managed to pull 1,260 pounds.

Bauman took his study on the road, attempting tests at the Philadelphia Zoo and making inquiries as far afield as Chicago and Cincinnati. In 1926, he returned to the Bronx Zoo, successfully testing the largest chimpanzee then in captivity. That animal, named Boma, pulled 847 pounds one-handed.

Chimpazee vs human wouldn't be fair
picture bigfoot vs human lol
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>>20779867
Verified Bigfoot here.
I'll fuck you up, pussy.
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>>20780084
dammit, beat me to it
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>>20779867
A sasquatch would snap your arms and tiny dick off in under a minute, you dumb fuck. Go swing that limp coffee-stirrer you call a penis somewhere else. You are impressing nobody.
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>>20781591
Got a source on that pic?
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How would a Bigfoot react if someone cleansed its territory with sage?
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>>20781686
yeah it's called a gorilla you dingbat
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>>20781637
congratulations you just admitted that the sasquatch touches guy dick
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>>20781736
You have face blindness
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>>20781744
i see that stupid gorilla every week at the local zoo the fuck you mean face blindness
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>>20781746
Then someone should tell the zoo that their Gorilla is a fucking mutant with a human face
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>>20779867
Bring a rifle just in case the mountain lions attack :)
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>>20779867
I know this is a pasta and the original is referring to a gorilla, but it’s still hilarious whichever it’s referring to. It’s nice and heroic to imagine beating such a strong animal, but if it gets one punch, bite, or grabs your nuts, you’re done.
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>>20781750
If you knew them you wouldn't call them mutants they're actually very nice here is there son
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You stupid fucking idiot. Don't you realize that bigfoot is a stealth expert? With the way he operates you'd be lucky to have a chance to defend yourself, punk.
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>>20781766
Still, the zoo shouldn't be feeding such chemicals to its animals, you would think by now they would be shut down for such widespread birth defects.
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>>20779867

I think I can fuck up a bighand with bare foot

I practice MMA for 7 years now, boxing in parallel for 6 years, I could. Not to count strength training at the gym for 4 years, 6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.

I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the bighand is finished.

You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible. First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything. Any man with a minimum of training can beat a bighand with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.
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>>20781785
being black isn't a birth defect
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>>20779867
ONCH ONCH
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Big foot is 7 feet tall.
MMA is a meme.
If you've ever seen a shaven monkey you'll know other apes are just as strong.

I agree though Bigfoot, in the evolutionary sense would be more likely to run away, if you can catch him you have a good chance of beating his ass, but you won't because he can run faster than a car, come back here when you can run faster than him pussy.
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>>20782142
om nom nom
anon kun appears
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>>20781808
I think I fucked bighand bearfoot??!
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>>20779867
Yeah, sure thing Steve
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>>20779867
Lets assume bogfet has a developing mind..
Can you survive a stone club? I think if he windmills a rock into your skull its not going to matter how trained you are. Also lets throw avoiding Biggens damage via speed out the window. Unless you are damn near teleporting around, he gon get you.
Picture you actually full force punching hairy nappa in the face. Great, You manage to enrage it so at least your death will be quicker now.
You on some hittem witha one 2 bullshit
Biggen is on top of you eating your mouth.
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we'd love to talk about mma and whether you can actually fuck up bigfoot. discord r us.
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>>20779867
youre only 189 at 6 1
youre a skinny bitch
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>>20779867
Geometric proof of a broken hand
>punch big foot in the head
>skulls are three-quarters of an inch thick, shaped in a perfect arc
QED
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>>20781808
Bigfoot would absolutely slaughter you in this world and simultaneously rape you in another dimension. You have zero chance faggot
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>>20780112
>That animal, named Boma, pulled 847 pounds one-handed.

>>20779867
picture it grabbing you by the balls
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>>20780084
JAMIE PULL UP A PHOTO OF THAT
YEAH THAT'S IT WOOAAAAHHHHHHHH
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>>20779867
I'm not saying you can't, but the fact that you won't first show your might with available, non-cryptid animals is suspicious. You have to prove your might with a seemingly unfindable, potentially fictional, creature.
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>>20779867
i don't know about a big foot, but i do think i could kll a bear with a good sturdy stick.

if a bear charges me, i will grab the nearest good stick about an inch and a half to 2 inches. the ends of these are usually always sharply broken like a spear.

at the last enstant when his death maw bite attack opens fully, i will plunge the spear stick ddown his throwt and deep into his gut.

god bye bear
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>>20781686
looks like a shoop. I would bet my life savings that's a shoop. The details and fidelity around the nostrils and nose look overly flat and sharp compared to the rest of the picture, and at the same time
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>>20779867
A chimpanzee would rip your face off.
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>>20783409
and at the same time you can see artifacting between the nose and mouth*
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>>20783409
>>20783418
Also just noticed details on and below the lip that look almost symmetrical
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>>20783409
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>>20779867
ITT: /fit/ with brain damage.
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>>20779867
Bigfoot would ass rape you with his 15 inch cock before you could even land a first punch
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>>20783405
>i will grab the nearest good stick about an inch and a half to 2 inches.

Next time you take a walk in the woods try picking up a "good stick" on a moment notice... then test how good it is.
Regular dead wood is crap and will break if you put a bit of force behind your blows. You could also test how fucking hard it is to pierce leather with crappy piece of wood... Meanwhile the bear would fuck you up like you were a rag doll. Not that bears are usually dangerous but a female with kids... I wouldn't try it.
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>>20779867
I've actually beat a few Bigfeets up before. They came at me probably thinking I was an easy meal, but I taught them a lesson they wont ever forget. One of them was kinda cute so as it tried to run away I pounced on it and started plowing it from behind. I don't think it liked it and it kept trying to crawl away but I stuck to it like a zebra mussel in a water pipe. After about an hour it was just kinda twitching on the ground as my cum dripped out slowly ( I don't cum a lot, big whoop). I definitely felt really good after the event, so I think having sex with Bigfeets can actually rejuvenate you, give you energy and youth. I wanted to do it again but sadly I haven't been able to find another one since then. It's a shame too since it felt amazing. Anyone else have a similar experience? I can't be the only one, right?
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>>20779867
whatever you say pal
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>>20779867
What a boring pasta.
Sorry, sweetheart, this one won't go down in the 4chan hall of fame.

I know you're trying your best to be the next "what did you just say to me?!" But, that's the problem, you're trying too hard to replicate that and ultimately, it just comes off as dry.

Keep writing! One day you'll get your 15 minutes of fame. Maybe.
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>>20781823
Yeah. It's more like a curse.
Very /x/ indeed.
I'm spooked now!
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Jesus. I think all of /x is rooting for Sasquatch to plow OP’s tight little ass.
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>>20785216
This, though.
This has potential for a pasta.
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>>20783409
No shit retard
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A thread died for this pathetic excuse of a post




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