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My GF's been talking to her ex-BF behind my back on Instagram, He was her 1st BF, the one she lost her virginity too from what I can remember, the one she dated in her prime and dated the longest too, she'd get cheated on by him constantly, but always went back to him, she claims he was abusive, but apparently he was also quite manly and protective, so I can see why she'd stick with him, he had good traits that women like even if he could be a bastard sometimes, he was also more hung than me and the sex was apparently good, unlike the sex she and I have now thanks to me having ED and struggling to get hard and/or to maintain an erection for long, I can tell she's unsatisfied, even medication isn't helping me out all that much nowadays, it sucks...

Anyways, she told me that she was going to add him on Instagram because she wanted to ask about the dog they had together and also to know if he had any gossip from their old friends group to tell her, so I agreed as I try trust her as much as I can and give her freedom despite feeling jealous... however she started acting weird, I was concerned she might've been threatened since he was apparently a bit violent and crazy, but when I went on to look... all of their chat was him talking about the photos and videos she used to take for him, using those skimpy costumes he'd buy for her, when all the sexy pictures I get are her in her PJs at best, nothing quite like this... and then he'd talk about when they fucked on the street, on a hotel pool, threesome, about her moans...

(1/2)
>>
>>30992086
It's not like she fully indulged in that, from what I've read at least, but she never cut him off either, and he keeps bringing it up, the sex, the skimpy clothes, etc... well, the last time I went through her phone, since she does the same on mine due to trauma of being cheated on, so I thought it was fair I looked at hers too, ALL of the chat on Instagram was deleted, and another thing I noted is that him, alongside me and less than 10 other people, are on her "Best Friends" list on Instagram, so whenever she posts a Story on it, mostly her looking good when she's at the gym, he sees it, and they're still following each other. He's sent her another message since, I haven't been able to see the full thing, but the last message was if she wants to talk on a different app...

I'm not going to confront her about it right now, for the time being my plan is to continue my relationship as normal, since this could just be a big misunderstanding and I love her so much, she's my 1st GF and my last, regardless if it means us getting married or us breaking up, because dating isn't easy, nor cheap, and I wouldn't have it in me to restart from scratch with anyone else, I'm still dating her despite finding relationships difficult because I genuinely love her, and she's the only woman I've ever loved like this, the one time I've really felt romantic love. I'll behave as if I know nothing, though her deleting everything makes it seem like she does know I'm onto something perhaps, anyways I'll keep checking her phone for now, see what happens...

How over is it?

(2/2)
>>
>>30992090
she's gonna cheat on you and cuck you. Leave her. I got cheated on and he dumped me.
>>
LMAO dude
>>
>>30992090
>I'll keep checking her phone for now
>How over is it?
100% even if by some miracle she isn't cheating you on (she is).
You're being disrespected by your own girlfriend, the person you care about the most, and you're disrespecting her as well. There is no good ending here, it's over.
>>
>>30992086
>>30992090
Bro RUN. Cut that ditzy hoe off
>>
It's 100% over and she ALREADY has been cheating on you for a while and you were a cuck and let it happen and are continuing to let it happen so blatantly that it is basically out in the open at this point.

Protip: "I don't want to seem jealous" is 100% cuck behavior. You need to put the foot down in your relationship early on and establish boundaries. Not this relationship though, this one is already over.
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>>30992086
She’s already emotionally cheating dude. Divest yourself asap. Screenshot the chats and send them to yourself as evidence before she tries to spin you as the bad guy. If you live together, change the locks or get of the lease by subletting and moving in with a friend for the remainder.

Do NOT continue the relationship. It’s fucking over. Done. Finished. I’m serious anon, do not make this last longer than it needs to. You’re going to make the pain so much worse living in denial about it and being paranoid. Right now you should be operating under the assumption the relationship is done and making plans accordingly. You get to be sad about it when it’s all said and done, not during this denial period.

Let’s assume you want a relationship with her still (you shouldn’t btw, she’s a lost cause). Even if you want to win her back, you need to show her you aren’t a complete pussy without a clue and show her that (1) you’ve already got one foot out of the door and (2) she isn’t a slick as she thinks she is. You do this by actually moving on. Get your stuff in order and tell her “you’ve been messaging your ex beyond the dog. Don’t lie.” She’ll then gaslight you into being a stalker. This is her attempt to avoid the issue. Don’t deny any wrongdoing. Snooping is like government surveillance, it’s bad until yoy turn up something. Say, “Yup. I snooped. You are emotionally cheating by sharing inappropriate photos and I want to break up.” At this point she either begs for forgiveness or leaves you.

Personally, I wouldn’t bother. I’d dump her and let her be with her abuser.
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>>30992096
I'm starting to feel that this could be the case, and it scares me.

>>30992105
What?

>>30992139
I don't think she is yet, she used to have him blocked on everything and never accepted his requests to follow on social media, but this time she changed her mind and, since that first talk, she's been so busy that I don't even see her having the time to cheat, not yet at least.

>>30992153
>>30992159
I mean, to be fair she did give him a few slaps, talking about how good of a GF she was and he didn't appreciate, and when he asked about me she said that I knew all about her past and we had no secrets, at least in that 1st conversation, even with him talking about the sex they had nonstop it seems like she wasn't giving in to it at that moment at al, which is why I still trust her...

What REALLY rubbed me the wrong way was to find all of the chats deleted and also seeing that he was on her "Best Friends" group, and this was right after she posted a Story only to her "Best Friends" of her on the gym looking pretty, I know he must've said something because he'd say at least something on all of her Stories, but it was all gone, so I have no idea what was said then...

>>30992257
I want to stay with her, I don't think she cheated, she didn't send any new photos, it was just him trying to flirt and him on her talking about those old photos, their sex, her moans and her body, she never truly flirted back which is why I still do trust her, but man... why would she delete it all? Maybe she was afraid I would see it and feel a bit uncomfortable about him being better in bed?

I'll search her phone next time to see if they've been really chatting somewhere else, if she has deleted everything again, if she sent any new ones... I have hope, but it's dying.

I messed up by the way, didn't take any pictures of those chats, but I'm writing the key points I'm bothered about down, I never thought she'd just... delete everything.

I'm not sure, I don't know anything anymore.
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>>30992372
Dude. DUMP HER. These stories are all the same. If shes willing to talk to her ex shes willing to sleep with him and anyone else. Bro look out for yourself and accept that its over. You need to put your foot down.
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>>30992380
I won't just yet... I need to continue checking her phone for a while longer, the last time I checked there was that unread message about wanting to talk elsewhere... next time I'll check if that's still unread, if she deleted everything again, if they've said anything else since then and/or if they're on some other platform, if I find something, anything, I'll take a photo, which is what I should've done.

If for the next couple of weeks I make no progress at all and still feel in the dark, unsure over if there has been any cheating, I'll confront her about the stuff I do know, and hear what she says to me...

I know many would just dump her now, and I get that, but I'm afraid that if I miss out on the chance of actual proof, or more proof, she could gaslight me, we have friends in common to consider, if the thing that's going on here is actual cheating, I'd like to have more proof, photos and screenshots, than I do now, I don't think she'd lie to me/them, but I might not know her as well as I thought...
>>
>>30992372
I'm still assuming this is larp, but I have to hand it to you, OP, you're pretty good

Anyway, just text her and tell her that you saw the messages, see what she says, then post here. We will of course help you through the conversation with her
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>>30992448
I swear it's not LARP, I'm genuinely feeling ill thinking about it, this is the woman of my life, the one I trust most and the one I've been through with on so many ups and downs, on all the joy and all the hardship we've had in our lives in the past couple of years, I've been saving up to buy a ring, talking to her about marriage, a house, kids, family... this is a big deal for me, and it's difficult.

I'm not texting her, she's at work right now and I know work stresses her out, also this isn't the kind of thing you solve through text, important things are talked about in person, for me at least.
>>
>>30992420
>I wont just yet
Its SO over and you have no idea
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>>30992470
Those are gay ass excuses. Just text her, pussy

By the way, shit's already over, you know? Like, I'm with you on wanting to get actual proof and shit, trust me, I know all about that feeling lol. But the relationship is fucking over, so now we can focus all energy on getting your proof, eh? Text the bitch

She lied about him being abusive, isn't that funny? Your entire impression of him this whole time.. it was all a lie! How sweet of her. Boy, that's the kind of girl I'd want to buy a ring for too!

Fuck that bitch, text her ass
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>>30992090
>How over is it?
Been over since before you started dating, if is is willing to do what she is doing it is a feature of her personality.
>>
>>30992420
Unless this isn’t some elaborate April Fools prank, Anon, stop embarrassing yourself and dump her ass. Be a man ffs, at the very least you’ll get her to respect you.
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>>30992372
> she never truly flirted back which is why I still do trust her
How did she respond? Did she tell him to stop? Did she mention YOU, her fucking boyfriend?
> I don't know anything anymore.
No. Now you know more. You were happy not knowing and now you have the desire to “know more” to convince yourself you can go back to the way things were before you knew. Seriously, what are you looking for here? Why is she even humoring him? Why hasn’t she blocked her absuer?

Anon seriously, start getting things in order for a clean break, even if you don’t go through with it. You can’t be caught flat footed.
>>30992420
> If for the next couple of weeks I make no progress at all and still feel in the dark, unsure over if there has been any cheating, I'll confront her about the stuff I do know, and hear what she says to me
If you’re willing to exist like that for a few weeks go for it. I’d confront much sooner.

> we have friends in common to consider
Do any of them know the ex-bf? Who are the friends closer with, you or your gf?
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>>30992086
Tell her what you wrote on here op. Also have her block him. Tell her your not comfortable with this situation. Best of luck my friend.
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>>30992086
he already made you a new son
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>>30992897
LEL
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>>30992481
Is it? I'm struggling to cope to be honest...

>>30992505
I don't think I'll get any proof if I text her, my chances, if there's anything going on, are better if I catch her while she thinks I'm unaware, if I just confront her, and reveal that I'm 100% onto this, she would chance her attitude before I got any real proof, again, if there's something going on.

I don't think she lied about the abuse, from the texts I can tell he's exactly as she had said, but what I found weird is that she doesn't seem to hate him as much as I thought she did, since she keeps letting him say all of those dirty things and not confront him about the fact she's dating me.

>>30992522
I still don't think it's within her nature to cheat, it could all be a misunderstanding, only time and more texts will really tell me, and when I confront her about all of this, will I have a better idea if the cheating is real of if the texts were just that, texts she didn't care about enough to cut him off...

>>30992535
It's not a prank, I'm genuinely worried.

>>30992897
>>30992912
Even if something did happen, she has an IUD, so nothing would come of it I think. I don't know.
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>>30992563
No, she never told him to stop, but she was a bit condescending and, from her texts, I could feel she still has a grudge on him over things that had happened when they were together, she never flirted back, and as I've said she told him that she doesn't keep secrets from me about her past life. I'd say the friend group's sort of equal, we're both liked by them, not sure what would happen...

I think my biggest fear now, and the reason I'm feeling so much regret over not taking any photo of those texts, is her gaslighting me about it if I confront her without any more proof, if she admits to cheating then good, if she clears things up and there really was no cheating then good, but if she gets defensive and attacks me while gaslighting me and making me unsure, I'd probably lose it.

I just want some certainty and ground to stand on, I want confirmation that she's cheating or that this is just a mistake and I'm thinking too hard, if I'm left uncertain then I'll break and my life will suck.

I don't think it's fair to break up with her over this, she never went along with the flirting and, for all I know, she deleted the texts to avoid me feeling uncomfortable. I love her, this feels so wrong...

>>30992579
I'll do this if/when I'm sure this was me thinking too deep into this, but if the next time I pick up her phone there's proof that something else is going on, I'll end it. I wish I could recover those texts...

I almost never use Instagram Direct, the chat is so garbage there and I don't know how to do any of the things I do in other apps, no idea how to recover anything that she deleted if it's possible...
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>My GF's been talking to her ex-BF behind my back on Instagram
the rest of the post literally doesn't matter, break up or set boundaries and enforce them
you're opening yourself up for misery, that's all
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>>30992470
>this is the woman of my life
Kek
>>
Let's digress for a moment

Convince me being OP is better than being an incel
>>
OP. You need to break up ASAP. You have all the proof you need already.
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>>30992090
It couldn't be more over. We warned you about dating non-virgins anon. She will literally never stop thinking about her first time's dick and comparing it to yours.
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>>30993154
This anon is corect
Talking to the exbf is beyond your boundaries and she doesn't seem to care. Tell her what your limit is, force it and leave her if it's broken. She is ignoring your feelings which will lead to heartbreak.

I'm exbf(really exfiance) in this situation. She contacted me to initially talk about the dog we bought together or talk about life updates. She started saying how much she missed me and wants to meet up but I shut that shit down. She has a bf of 3 years and I'm dating someone 4 months and don't wanna cuck her either.

This exbf sounds like someone who would sleep with her without a second thought.
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>>30993331
According to the Bible, a woman is married in the eyes of God to the first man she sleeps with.
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>>30993154
>>30993334
I mean, it isn't technically behind my back since I did say it was fine for her to talk to him, I always saw it as a good thing to have a healthy type of relationship with your exes instead of grudges and stuff, she talks to other exes too and it's pretty much fine... I do feel that it's behind my back when it comes to what they're talking about, even if she's not saying dirty things, this is wrong...

Also, yes... ALL of his messages seem to me like he wants her to give into him despite she dating me right now, he's flirting and hitting on her all of the time, it's all he posts, all he sends, it sucks...

>>30993257
I mean, she really is... I love her more than I've ever loved anyone, I want nothing but the best for her, I'd do so many things for her and I'm already trying so hard... if this goes wrong, I'm just done.

Anyways, turns out I can get deleted messages back, by sending a HTML file with ALL of those chats to her own Instagram on the settings page, now I just need to see her, and get her phone... I'll probably see her later this week, and when she's asleep I'll check if she deleted the messages yet again, if there are any new messages, any other apps... and then I'll get those deleted ones back.

I really... REALLY hope I'm wrong. I don't want this to be true, but if it is... I'll never love again.

>>30993324
Well, to be fair I was an incel before dating her, never kissed, never went on a date, never held hands... but having friends in common brought us together, one friend specifically, our "cupid" and for now it seems to be working, unless she really is cheating on me. Even if this is over, I'm still glad I got to experience a relationship at all, even if it goes wrong, it's good to live through new things.
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>>30993330
I don't know if I do... she didn't truly engage in any of his sweet talk and flirting, she listened, but she didn't reply in the same manner, she seemed a bit bitter and resentful at times even if she's letting it happen and not blocking him. As far as I'm aware she didn't send any photos, she didn't flirt or sexy talked with him, nothing... I can't say she cheated at all with just this information, so it feels unfair.

I'll break up if it becomes clear that she's cheating on me, but if this really is just her not knowing to cut him off and being dumb, and nothing really happened, then I don't think it'd be right to break up.

>>30993331
>>30993339
One thing that's funny is that she has a dark sense of humor, racist sometimes, though I don't mind, anyways he's half black and one time I did comment on it, like, "You know you dated a guy that was half black, right?" and she replied to me with "Well, he had the best part" obviously she is talking about his penis... me having ED and not being as good as him in bed doesn't help at all.

I feel like I'm a much better BF than he was in almost every way, but he was more hung, better in bed, and had that "toxic masculinity" women say they hate, but actually love, and I don't.

Also, he's a cop, has a gun, that kind of thing. I recall her saying she liked men in uniforms with "Why do you think I still talk to the crazy cop I dated?" in a joking manner, but it felt too real...
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>>30993355
>I mean, it isn't technically behind my back since I did say it was fine for her to talk to him
better luck next time champ
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>>30993373
Lmao you're literally being cucked by a nigger, literally the bottom of the evolutionary ladder. Don't you have any dignity? It is obvious she doesn't.
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>>30993373
dude, reading this is so depressing, I'm really sorry but please break up with her, she's being a manipulative little shithead to you
no one that loves you would say things like that, she's a spite-filles broken person, and you will not save her
it seems like this may be your first rodeo, I imagine your going to have to learn the hard way if this thread is any indication
you can save yourself, you should
>>
are you secretly into cuck shit b/c this is pretty egregious

i tried to post a few times on your thread but it all comes out pretty mean

like how do you respect yourself in this situation you've contrived?

i don't like telling people to break up but i would run away from these kind of feelings i think?
>>
>>30993420
This. I am calling LARP. This reads like some sort of cuckold fantasy
>>
>"I'm not going to confront her about it right now"
Lol, dude if you're worried enough to be posting online it's time to nut up (err maybe gut up forgot about your ED man my bad) and confront her. Give her an ultimatum either she needs to cut off her ex completely or dump her.


I've seen this shit happen too many times man. It never ends well.
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>>30993382
I probably should've said "No.", it's just that I've always trusted her so much... afterall she had a lot of trauma due to always being cheated on, I thought there was no way she'd EVER cheat...

I hope I was right.

>>30993391
I don't care about race, what bothered me most was being aware that he was more hung, also I read those chats about them fucking on the pool, street, a threesome, her taking photos for him in the clothes he bought back then... she never did any of this for me because of my ED, since I get limp she's scared of me getting sad if I see she put on a ton of effort, though I'm also afraid it's because she doesn't want to bother doing a lot only for me to fail her. It's 50/50 nowadays, sex is good sometimes, bad other times, though it's so clear from those chats that it was better with him, also she admits my ED made her like sex less.

>>30993418
>>30993461
I'll try to get those messages back and see if this Instagram back up shows any secret messages or files I hadn't seen yet, also if there have been any new messages, or if she's deleted it all again, I'll act according to what happens next... but I'm doing my best to not make any judgements here, I'm not sure what's exactly going on and this can be a misunderstanding on my behalf, but I'll keep an eye on her for the next few weeks, and if I do find anything, it's over, not just between me and her, but for relationships in general, I won't want to do it again. If I do get any updates in the next few weeks, I'll make a new thread to update y'all.

>>30993420
>>30993426
I know it might seem that way, especially with the whole race aspect a lot of cuckolds seem to be quite into, but I'm not LARPing, if you believe me or not then that's fine, but I'm being real here.
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>>30993469
How the fuck does someone your age have ED? You know this is all psychological right? Most likely - you subconsciously know something is wrong --- with HER and it is preventing you from wanting to get intimate.
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>>30992372
>>30992086
>>30992968
>>30992936

A simple guide of what to do.
1. Get evidence
2. Look what happened *objectivity*
3. Decide on either stay or leave
4. Confront about missing questions you have (prefer to do in-person, because then they are forced to be authentic)
5. Decide on either stay or leave with the knowledge of, yours and her perspective. Plus what happened objectively.

In my opinion, just leave, because
1. Your GF talked behind your back
- It's their ex-BF too, 2x worse
3. They talked about sex
4. Wanting to messaging through a different platform
5. Deleted messages

The truth will set you free.
-Whether that be her cheating or not, the main goal is to try to find out the truth.
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>>30993469
>doing my best to not make any judgements here
>"Why do you think I still talk to the crazy cop I dated?"
try listening to yourself, you're in denial
even if she's not cheating (however you're shifting the goalpost with your definition of it) she's being manipulative and undermining your relationship with comments like this, she doesn't care
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>>30993469
>"but I'm doing my best to not make any judgements here, I'm not sure what's exactly going on and this can be a misunderstanding on my behalf,"
I'm being serious when I ask: have you been diagnosed with autism? Because otherwise I don't see how you can be taking this shit out of context. Dude sit her down and tell her you want her to stop talking to him.

Unless they have kids together there is literally no reason why she has to be his friend.
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>>30993478
We've been together for almost 2 years and I've had ED since the start, I'm in my mid 20s now, it might sound stupid, but I think the pornography addiction I developed during my incel days, so my whole life before dating her, alongside my prone masturbation, messed up my sensitivity and my brain, my fetishes and expectations of sex were a mess and sex isn't something I'm too fond of...

Our 1st time was on our 1st date, and I couldn't even get hard due to how nervous I was, I had my 1st kiss, 1st time holding hands and 1st sex all at one and maybe that was a bit much for me then.

Anyways, ED feeds itself, you fail to get hard once, you'll be worried about failing next time too, so you become too self aware and anxious, that leads to you failing again, and again, and again...

>>30993490
I mean, I know I might be in denial here, but even then there's a chance it really was just a joke that came off wrong, I've made jokes in the past that I thought were good, but got people pissed at me...

Fuck... this is too much for me, man. Why is this happening? I thought I'd never have to worry over cheating, and yet here I am, and I don't know what to make of it, am I paranoid or am I coping?
>>
>>30993469
>what bothered me most was being aware that he was more hung
Bruh, she is saying that to humiliate you, because she is cucking you.

Interracial porn was shown to activate the same part of the brain as bestiality. She is literally engaging in a form of self-humiliation and using you and him as a prop.

You have several thousand years of evolution over this guy. 200 years ago, he was picking cotton and polishing your great great great grandpa's boots. 100 years before that he was running naked from lions on the savanna. How the fuck do you feel inferior to that? Just ask him how he would feel if he didn't eat breakfast and watch him try to wrap his head around what the question means.
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>>30993489
I think that's a great guide, we think quite alike, anon. I'll update you guys as it goes along, even if I have to make new threads when this is archived.

Thanks.

>>30993503
I've never been diagnosed, but a few friends of mine that have autism, from different friend groups, said they're sure I'm autistic, not as a joke.
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>>30993515
I can't get around the idea that she'd try to really humiliate me... she's such a gentle GF, so kind and, especially in our more serious conversations, whenever I open up, she's very caring and also understanding of me, while I'm sure most women would not even consider dating me and, if they did, they wouldn't treat me the way she does, I'm an insecure person and she's always made me feel safe when I'm with her, these last few weeks have been the only times where that's not the case and I'm not sure if something's changed or if I'm just being paranoid over something minor...
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>>30993507
listen, I'm going to level with you, because I was like you at one time
I hope it works out or whatever, but I know it won't. you're going to have a nagging feeling in the back of your head for the rest of the relationship either way
you'll never be able to shake it, and if, or when it happens it's going to destroy you

you'll come out as jaded as the rest of us after that

relationships can work, but they need strong boundaries established, not everyone has other people's best interests in mind all the time like you and I, some people are fundamentally broken and more selfish than any of us could understand
you have to look out for yourself first, man
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>>30992086

An actual man would never have agreed to that. That was a shit test and you failed. You deserve what comes next.
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>>30993516
"It doesn't matter how many underhanded tricks a person uses. The truth will always find a way to make itself known. The only thing we can do is to fight with the knowledge we hold and everything we have. Erasing the paradoxes one by one... It's never easy... We claw and scratch for every inch. But we will always eventually reach that one single truth. This I promise you"
- Ace Attorney

Please remember, the truth will set you free.
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>>30992086
wowowow wtf I didn't even read past the first sentence. I would never allow this kind of shit. that's not even a red flag, waaay pass the flag. I broke up with a ton of girls just over red flags. believe me, it's easier and you don't waste time with whores. just keep rotating until you find some gud girl. There's a ton of them out there, it's just more difficult to find them now a days. don't settle for a hoe that will cuck you. unless you are into that type of stuff, which would mean you have a much bigger mental problem.
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>>30992086
you are the best type entertainment of this site
i cant even say if what are you saying is truth. you are so fucking dumb because you are making a fake history,or, you are so fucking dumb cause you cant conceive that you are a fucking cuck and being conniving with this

make all the excuses you want,in the end,if you dont DUMP THIS HOE,you will get something very good far/short ahead

you get what you fucking deserve LMAO
>>
>>30992086
>>30992090
i feel like a cuck for just reading this
it's more over than you could know, leave and don't say a word
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>>30992086
Have you thought about proposing a threesome? Maybe it'll get it out of her system?
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>>30993604
please kill yourself
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>>30993604
I kek'd.
>>
You are gonna be cheated on, but not because of her ex, but because of your ED. A woman never stays with somebody who cant give her a good fucking. Her ex in this situation is just human dildo to meet her vaginal needs.
Get your shit together and visit a sexologist and learn to fuck.
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>>30993661
i second this
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>>30992086
it's fucked
>>
this is cuck larp. it's way too on the nose to be geniuine. i'm disappointed in everyone who responded sincerely, you are worse at sniffing out bullshit than REDDIT.
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>>30992372
Sorry man, there are countless stories about the same topic and if she fully trusted you, convos would not be deleted especially if she is saying not to worry about the guy.
If you are attatched to them, I can understand that you don't want to think that this is the case or how it can be saved, but use your own life and passion hobbies as an example. If you are 110% into something, nothing else matters besides that thing and sadly, this applies to people: lovers, veterans, cult members; master and apprentice etc.

If this ain't LARP...Sorry for your loss, it will suck but you need to give time to heal if its still possible due to past trauma.
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>>30992420
this shit is ntr fetish larp. kill yourself.
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>>30993541
I fear that this could be the case depending on how it goes this weekend, maybe I'll never trust her again, and that's eating me up from inside. I'm already jaded, I should've killed myself by now...

>>30993542
>>30993550
I've always tried to give her freedom because I trust her so much, one time I let her go out with this one male friend she had a crush on in her teenage years, she thanked me for it saying she hadn't seen him for years since they don't have friends in common and her ex-BFs wouldn't let her see other men alone, I thought I was being a good BF, but I guess I'm a spineless fool afterall...

>>30993549
Agreed, anon.

>>30993563
I don't know if I deserve to go through the pain I'm going through right now, earlier today I messed up at my job too and now I think I might be fired, it's all going wrong for me. I long for death, that's all.

>>30993581
I don't want to leave just yet, I need answers, the truth, I need to get to the bottom of this before I take a major decision for my life and my future, I really love her, I want to be as fair as possible.

>>30993604
>>30993661
>>30995374
I'd love a MFF threesome since this ex-BF of hers got it, with her in her prime no less, from what she told me she got drunk and starting making out, he saw it, but didn't take it as cheating, more as an invitation, so she gave him a threesome since it was better than him thinking she cheated, so I'd imagine she kissed the other girl a lot during it, it sounds like a dream, double BJs looks so good...

I wouldn't want it for real though, I think it could mess up the relationship a bit and, knowing me, I'd likely go limp and then I'd disappoint a couple of women instead of just my GF. I fucking suck.

No, I'm not proposing a threesome with him, I don't like him and I want nothing to do with him if there really is something going on between them, I just want her to go be with him and leave me be.
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>>30995420
I went to see a physician and I've gotten better, especially thanks to medication, but I'm fat and in poor shape, so my performance in bed is still just lacking, even with medication, and without it then my hopes of staying hard for long are quite low. I do a lot better now than early on, when we started out I could barely get hard at all, and I have quite a negative feeling towards sex because of it.

I'm improving, baby steps, but improving, though I'm not sure if I'm improving fast enough and it looks like it could be too late, I'll find out later this week if it's true of if I'm just paranoid over nothing.

>>30996039
>>30996118
Is my situation THAT bad for so many people to say I'm LARPing? I'm being genuine, this is my 1st, and perhaps only time, being a BF and I did my best to make her feel the best whenever, I've trusted her more than anyone and did my best, I feel lost and this situation isn't something I have a fetish for or find sexy, I feel ill, like my heart was pierced, I could barely sleep... I can't stand this.

>>30996113
I think the deletion is what truly rubbed me the wrong way more than anything, and lead to me investigating more and finding things like him on her "Best Friends" seeing all of her gym photos, I'm not sure I was the best BF, so I don't need her to be 110% since I myself wasn't, I was lacking in so many ways... but I love her, I really hope this isn't what I think it is, I don't deserve this at all...
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>>30996181
You don’t even need to bother monitoring. Just sit her down face to face and ask
> Why is your boyfriend sending you explicit messages recounting all the times you fucked? What is going on here?
If she denies it, you already know the relationship isn’t worth saving. If she owns up to it, you can work from there an establish boundaries. If she gets pissy about the snooping, then she really has fucked up priorities on who is at fault.

Stop being defeatist and passive about this whole thing. Stop being a character in her story and take some initiative
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>>30996197
> ex-boyfriend* and “abuser”

Personally I’d grill her on even still contacting this “abuser”
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>>30996197
>>30996200
I get what you mean, but I want to confront her later, this weekend, after I browse her phone again, I want to see if they said anything else, if they really started talking on another app, if she sent any photos... do a better investigation to get a better idea of the facts, and also try to recover those deleted messages, to see if there are any deleted ones I hadn't seen yet, I have to wait.

I'm not trying to be passive and defeatist, I'm trying to take my time as this is a huge deal for me and I don't want to make any mistakes, if she really is cheating, I need to know, to confirm it...

Otherwise, if I can't confirm it, but she really is cheating and lies to me convincingly, I might go and forgive her, and be a cuckold for life. I need the truth before taking any major decision now.
>>
What else exactly is ex-BF doing? I'm trying to seduce my ex, I could be the same as your GF's ex - cheated on her, was with her for like 8 years, her first BF that took her V card, etc.
If your GF's ex also handsome/tall/muscular? Is she a serious type of person, or more flaky and emotional?
I don't want my ex back anymore, but I want the closure of getting to fuck her one last time especially behind her new BF's back
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>>30996310
He's essentially just flirting with her, asking about the clothes he had bought her then, if she still had them, he comments on her Stories about how she looks good... recalls times they fucked that stood out and talks about how she used to moan for him then, it's just sex pretty much. I don't have a photo of him, but he was mixed race, handsome and in good shape, he's a cop afterall, and he's manly.

I'd say my GF's serious when she has to be, but overall she's quite emotional and there have been times I thought she might be BPD, though I'm not sure if I'm being unfair on that judgement of her.

I can't control you, nor take your decisions for you either, but I strongly advise you to not do this, I'm not sure what her current BF did for you to want to do this behind his back, but it doesn't feel right.
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>>30996368
>overall she's quite emotional and there have been times I thought she might be BPD, though I'm not sure if I'm being unfair on that judgement of her.
Damn, I feel like this is my biggest roadblock. My ex is a stone-cold bitch who barely expresses emotion, it's hard to rile her up and right now she's just stonewalling me. I haven't tried just playing up the sex flirting yet, even if she has a new BF she admitted inadvertently she's still trying to get over me.
>I strongly advise you to not do this, I'm not sure what her current BF did for you to want to do this behind his back, but it doesn't feel right.
Apparently this was a guy from her work place that asked her out like a year before we broke up, she turned him down then but went to dating him only a couple of months after I moved out of the place we shared.
It's not about the sex, it's about sending a message to both of them that he was always the backup and that I'm the best she's ever going to have, regardless of how I acted.
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>>30996428
I've never been in this sort of situation, or at least not in the same role you're at right now, so I can't give any advice on how to get to your goal, but I can say that I don't believe it's a good goal, I get being upset at him asking her out when you were dating her, especially if he knew, that's wrong, but I don't think 2 wrongs make 1 right, anyway these are just my values and you have different ones.

I hope you know what you're doing and make the best choices, and that nothing bad comes out of this regardless of how it goes and the ultimate outcome. I wish you the best for your life, anon.
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>>30996444
>I hope you know what you're doing and make the best choices, and that nothing bad comes out of this regardless of how it goes and the ultimate outcome.
Well I'm getting back into shape and have the goal of getting into the best shape of my life (when we broke up I was getting a belly which couldn't have made it harder for her to stay), as well as seriously building my wealth, so even if I never get the closure I'm seeking I'll be better off personally.
But I still want to fuck her again.
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>>30992086
dump her and never look back, dont respond to her cries when she begs for you back its all fake bro
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>>30996194
>I'm fat
then lose weight retard. male testosterone is directly correlated with your waist measurements
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>>30992086
>me having ED and struggling to get hard and/or to maintain an erection for long
1. Stop masturbating so much
2. Change the meds, sildenafil did fuckin nothing for me but tadalafil makes my cock rock hard

Oh btw no other actual advice. Thats all I can suggest for the ED problems, Cucky Cheese
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>>30992086
So you're a weak-willed cuck with a limp dick, I don't need to read anymore. The question you should be asking is why WOULDN'T a woman cheat on you?
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>>30996518
Well, I hope you take the best course of action, regardless of what that means for you currently. I wish you the best, anon. Have a good one.

>>30996525
I feel that, if I get proof, especially depending on what the proof is, and she starts crying and also begging, it could be quite tough... I'll do my best.

>>30996578
I know, though last time I went to check this my testosterone was fine, though I still need to lose weight. I've been fat my whole life, it's difficult. I know this isn't a good excuse, and that I should lose the weight, but I'm dealing with so much and, while I plan on losing it, it looks like it's too late.

>>30996593
I'm on Tadalafil actually, it's good, way better if compared to Sildenafil, and whenever I do NoFap I'm able to do better, but I can only go so far, even though I get better erections, I feel nothing from a BJ and, when she rides me, which is her favorite position, I always go limp, I'm sure he doesn't...

>>30996595
I suppose that's a good description, though that last sentence right there... that really hurt, but not because it was mean, but because deep down I know it's true, I was shocked to find a woman who liked me and was attracted to me, but it looks like it might've been BS afterall, I should've known.
>>
ive been in a relatively similar situation to you before. Just leave now. The thing is, if you excuse this stuff, you will start excusing a whole bunch of other stuff and you will just become even more miserable. She's not worth the time or energy in trying to fix this. If you have to convince or even ask your girlfriend to stop talking to her ex, you shouldnt be in a relationship with her. She will probably come up with some sort of rationalization or try to gaslight you, but just dont listen to it. I know breaking up sucks, but what is going to suck more is continuing to deal with this.

Its sad to see someone else like this. You love her, but if shes willing to do this, can you really say she loves you? I dealt with my situation for almost three years. It fucking sucks. My situation was the same, my first real gf, loved her to bits, dont want to restart etc etc, but the fact is that once you are asking strangers on the internet for advice about this stuff, i think you already know what the right decision to make is.
>>
Dude, just ghost her. Break up with her, and don't chase other women.

Find a woman who will love you for you. I know that sounds stupid and corny as hell, but they exist among the low value common slop women you younger men have to deal with.

With the right woman in your life, you'll never feel inadequate or bad about yourself. You'll never have to cope with whether or not she loves you or even likes you. You'll never have to worry about her cheating on you.

Be a man. Stop chasing girls. Find a woman. It might not happen for years but if you hold out long enough you'll find one.

Don't accept this conditional love bullshit. It's liberal bullshit perpetuated by low value girls to excuse their shitty behavior.
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>>30992086
>>30992090
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>>30993373
>>30993469
>literally got KEKED by a BBC
>imagine your life sounding like a LARP shitpost
kek
>>
Dump her ass. It's better to be single and not cheated on than the opposite. Sounds like you're staying with her because of the fear of being """alone""" again.
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>>30992448
>>30993420
>>30993426
>>30996039
>>30996113
>>30996118
I'd agree that this is some cuckold fetish LARP if OP was saying stuff like "I'm a white boy and BBC was so superior it made me lose my GF to some BVLL!" or whatever BS people post on fetish type threads, but 99% of his posts' content are nothing but coping and looking miserable over genuinely being cheated on, even if it was LARP, I don't see how OP would get off to this, it's just misery here. I think she's cheating, this is just way too shady, it was already bad talking to the guy, but deleting it all? If she didn't know there was something wrong she wouldn't have deleted it, and if she deleted in fear of OP not being upset if he read it because of her BVLL saying something too out there, then at least she should've blocked him, it's too shady. I think it's already over, OP, but keep us updated.
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>>30992086
That's a red line she shouldn't cross so you either failed to make that clear to her or she just doesn't care. In either case she is going to fuck him within the next 6 months. Best to leave it now and be with someone in the future who actually cares about you.
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>>30992086
Awh..Buddy...I feel like she doesnt actually love you...and she just useing you.....it must hurta alot...i know...and if i were in your shoes...id want someone to tell me to break up with you....your just wasting your time....and you still love her....i feel...i feel you dont actually hate her if you love her that much....i suggest...if you hate her for doing this to you....break up with her now.....its the best choice....
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>>30998795
Go fuck yourself with that zoomer-speak.
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>>31000256
I'd say that's Discord* speak actually.
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>>31000574
Makes more sense. I'll take your word for it, I don't use Discord.
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>>30996936
I'm sorry you've experienced the same thing, anon... I'm honestly just feeling awful right now, I can't stand being anxious and being unable to do much about it, I want it to be friday already, I'll go to her place as usual, she'll fall asleep, I'll take her phone... and then I'll get a better grasp of what's happening. I still feel there's a chance she isn't cheating, but this uncertainty is slowly kiiling me.

>>30996990
>>30997723
I'll be honest, if it's really over... I don't see myself even attempting another relationship. I don't see myself as having much value, I'd probably not find a woman and, if I did, she'd probably not be a very good one that'd love me, maybe my money or status, but not me, I don't think I'm loveable, as (>>30996595) mentioned, why wouldn't a woman cheat on me? I'll either marry her, or die alone.

I'm not saying this in a particularly sad manner either, relationships are a pain in the ass, they take time, money, a lot of money actually, you have to do things you don't want and not do the things you want, it involves a lot of time, effort and sacrifices, which I've been doing for her because I love her and think she's the one... but would I do it all over again for someone else? No, no way.

>>30998775
I'm still unsure, maybe it's a misunderstanding, or maybe she's sleeping with him already, maybe its her plan to sleep with him eventually... I'll only get a better idea if I can look at her phone again and/or recover the deleted messages, I want friday to come already so I can be in peace and know if anything's going on or not. If it's nothing, it'll be a relief, if there is though... I don't know what I'll do.
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>>30998795
It's true, I don't hate her at all, the love I feel for her is unlike anything I've ever felt, I want to get married to her and have kids, live together for all of my life, when she's in pain I feel miserable, I'm so worried when I can tell she's going through a bad time, she's my #1 priority always... that's why the possibility of cheating hurts me so much, I do love her so much that I could end up forgiving her if something's going on, depending on how she acts and what she says when we talk about it on saturday morning, I'll give her breakfast in bed as usual, and then I'll say that we need to talk...

I don't know if I should even consider forgiving her at all, I've always seen forgiveness as something beautiful and that makes us human, as long as the person being forgiven repents and earns my trust back, though I know for cheating that's not often the case. I don't want to be fooled either...
>>
>>31001789
People cheat because they're terrible, not due to any failings on you. You could have been rich, attractive with a 10-inch cock and she'd still cheat on you because she's a broken person unable to love anybody else or even herself. Don't debase yourself over a whore. You do have value, but you must find it in yourself otherwise you'll never see it. And if you can't see value in yourself how is anyone else going to? If you keep seeing only the negatives about yourself you will have trouble appreciating the positives. Even if you don't find anyone else, fuck them. Fuck them all. Fuck anyone who wants you to change in order to fit into their life. Find people who you do fit in with and you'll be much happier.

Money and status are buzzwords society uses to keep men down because the honest truth is the world loves it when we're unhappy. Stop letting the world win and find inner love and self-respect.
>>
I'm going to give an unpopular opinion here and say that this relationship isn't necessarily over, I probably would confront her now, but I get you in wanting to get more proof if there's cheating, or not, new messages, or getting back the deleted ones, especially if she deleted some you didn't get time to read before she deleted them, can be what makes or break this. If she's not cheating, which is a possibility, even if unlikely, then good, but if she is then it's up to you to continue or not, it's obvious that you're completely in love, but if you must forgive, at least set some strict fucking boundaries and keep watch of her more closely.
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>>30992086
>GF's been talking to her ex-BF behind my back
I stopped reading right there. Dump her. She's going to cheat on you (if she hasn't already). That's one thing you never put up with in a relationship - women talking to their ex's.
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>>31002474
I've talked to my ex gfs before and it was totally harmless..
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>>31002731
Did you talk to them about how much you liked fucking them? Albeit.
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>>31002819
>Did you talk to them about how much you liked fucking them? Albeit.
Nope, and don't get me wrong, OP's bitch is clearly going to fuck her ex. I'm just sayin it's not always like that and it's a little crazy if you go straight to freaking out 100% of the time instead of actually giving it some thought. OP gave it some thought, snooped on the messages and has discovered his gf is indeed a whore, so yeah
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>>30992086
Bro im to drunk to read though every post but why is this on page 1 again? did something actuallly happen?
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>I might be cheated on soon
>Lets his gf hang out with her ex, who took her virginity
>dates a girl thats not a virgin
>doesnt break it off the second she goes to hang out with the guy who popped her cherry
>too stupid to know theyre probably fucking already and are just trying to normalize you to it so you wont notice and she can get away with 'hes just a friend'
>Makes 20 page long post on 4chan with anime girl picture while shes getting her brains fucked out at this moment
I wonder why youre getting cheated on anon. go the the fucking gym and stop being a faggot. shoplift some testosterone pills
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If you are based op you would cheat on her with the most attractive woman you can then try to mentally break your gf by calling her an unlovable used whore that you never liked and kept around for a quick pump now and then. Try to aim for a mental hospital because she is cheating on you.

>>30992936
Stop fucking larping as an anime girl online you fucking cuck. Only a faggot cuck would post anime girls doing reactions online. This guy has obliterated his raw hotdog of a penis with anime porn and then cant accept his gf is cucking him.
She is talking to a Ex who only wants to fuck her she is sexually interested in him and is rationalizing it as old friends, but is still angry about getting cheated on. All it takes is for the ex to lie about not cheating on her and she would drop your ass in an instant.
>>30993373
Why did you bring up him being half black you fucking cuck please kill yourself. KILL YOURSELF NOW RIGHT NOW. IM GETTING SECOND HAND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS FROM YOU BECAUSE OF HOW FUCKED UP YOUR LIFE IS AND HOW MUCH YOU FUCKED IT BY BEING AN ANIME FAGGOT KEK.
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>>30992086
>My GF's been talking to her ex-BF behind my back on Instagram, He was her 1st BF, the one she lost her virginity too from what I can remember...
I didn't read the rest; and you're just going to sit down in front of your computer creating a thread on 4chan instead of taking action?

Alright, I guess I'd do the same while her ass is getting pounded, BUT, I'd talk to her the next day/the moment she comes back, FACE TO FACE, and if I notice a SLIGHTEST piece of bullshit in her words, I evaporate the bitch from my life and start working on my way to cope out of this developed strong attachment because I'm gonna feel like shit.

Stay strong, dude, you're not the only one who is/went through cheating. You'll do it, don't give up.
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>>30992086
i read through the whole fucking thread and I still can't understand how fucking retarded you are OP. You're either into cuckolding shit or your mother dropped you when you were little.
I know this from experience, if she can, she will always come back to her first one, especially if her current boyfriend is a fat piece of shit with a porn addiction who can't get an erection even with the help of pills.
She clearly doesn't give a fuck about how you feel by the look of it, so why should you? Start focusing on yourself and get some help dude. Start going to gym, and/or a sex/regular therapist, or keep indulging in your faggot cuck desires by keeping this relationship going.
>>
>>31001789
>I'm still unsure, maybe it's a misunderstanding
I'd say there's a 99% chance she cheated or intends to cheat, sure do your best to learn the truth before anything else, but make sure to not get your hopes up, kid.
>>
I disagree with most of this advice. Take her out on a date. Have an awesome time. Get her drunk. Do dirty things to her. Be really into her. Take naughty photos and act like it's prime. If he texts tell her to cut that shit out. Be in a good mood around her.
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>>31006209
So you think OP shouldn't confront her about this at all? What if the messages he finds confirm cheating or at least the plan to cheat in the future?
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>>30992086

Dump. I hate red pill advice but that is peak alpha widow.

She still views her ex as the one and you're the settler.

Have self respect
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>>30992086
>this entire thread
OP It's so fucking over for you
break up with her immediately, if you don't you deserve everything that happens next
>>
>>30992086
>>30993469
>>30996181
Oh this is a cuck fantasy larp thread
How pathetic
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>>30992086
Break up with her. Getting stressed over all of this is not worth it, and I think we all know how this will end. It sounds to me like the way she is acting is making you uncomfortable, so why even bother? You are better off leaving. I know it’s difficult to leave when you're still attached, but you're just hurting yourself by staying. Leave and move on, knowing that you no longer have to engage in this waste of time.
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>>31006882
I don't think he should give a fuck unless she is actually banging the dude. It looks like he is on a sinking ship right now. He should do the clean your room. intermittent fast thing. but also he should take her out on a date. Or buy her a vibrator and bang that pussy out. just be a fun guy. He sounds kinda down now. So if this is the love of his life. Or the love of his life is a slut. He needs to take control of that situation. you know how many people marry sluts. most people. I'm pretty racist and have a half black ex girlfriend. you know what was awesome about her the sex. and she was literally never in a bad mood. just crazy. most people don't really want that shit back. I think he should go out Friday night have like a beer every hour and take her to go buy a vibrator. really get it going. he should stop watching the porn though. then when he has clapped that ass dig through her phone.
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>>30992086

you really should break up, and not waste any more time on her.

it sounds like you are a very insecure, unhappy person that still has alot of stuff to figure out. go outside, take a walk, get yourself something nice to drink, and watch the sunset. you will feel better.

you still have time to change your life around, I'm rooting for you king...
>>
>>31006882
he should also read all unread messages and send dick pics back. then delete the shit. she will know he isn't a dude to fuck with after that.
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>>31007388
he should also do the threesome idea and then fuck both his cheating gf and her ex-bf in their asses with his limp dick to assert dominance
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>>31002071
I find this to be one of my major struggles, and my therapist mentioned it a lot when I did therapy for a couple of years, she'd say I had no self esteem at all and how damaging that was to me, but I just can't love myself, heck, I can't even like myself, I just feel hate. I hate what I am, my excuses and how far behind I am from the man I could've been if only I was more responsible and had discipline.

I don't take care of myself, I'm a people pleaser that wants to be loved more than anything and has no spine due to it. I should've killed myself in 2021 like I had planned then, I'm just a disgrace.

>>31002461
I guess, that's what I'm counting on, tomorrow is D-Day for me, I'll work all day long and, after I go to her place, or her to mine, we'll spend the night together and, after she falls asleep, I'll sneak out of the room with both her and my phones, and I'll look for everything I need to clear things out, for the better... or for the worst. I'll make a post here tomorrow or the day after that, hope it goes well.

>>31002474
>>31002731
>>31002819
>>31002906
I always thought I was being a good BF by doing this, recently she asked me if she could meet her old friend from high school that she hadn't seen in years, he was her teenage crush and her other BFs before me never let her see him, and she was so happy and grateful that I wasn't jealous of him or suspicious about anything happening, and I do think they just hung out, I was happy with it.

It wasn't until this specific ex-BF started texting her and he literally couldn't talk about anything other than how much he loved fucking her and how much he misses fucking her, what a pain.

>>31003062
It'll happen tomorrow and/or the day after that, if it's archived I'll make a new thread, though if this stays up until then I guess it'll be easier, but then again I can just add a link to this one in the new one if I have to, it's no problem. It's good to hear more takes on this though, so it's fine I guess.
>>
>>31009365
>I always thought I was being a good BF by doing this
That's the thing.. YOU ARE! She's just a cunt, dude, it has nothing to do with you, and trust me, I am well aware of how bad that realization feels

Thing about it-- they're literally sexting lol

Forget all that nonsense you're worrying about and go get drunk or do whatever is fun to you. I'll even suck your dick if you want, shit. If you think this is bad, just think, I haven't done that shit just one time, I've done it multiple! lol
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>>31003977
I tried not to mind her having other BFs before me because I don't think it's wrong to not get it right the first time, maybe she had just gotten unlucky before finding me and liking me. I do agree still, I can't be too surprised if she really is cheating, I'm a pathetic excuse for a man and I deserve pain.

>>31004093
I like posting these images though, if that makes me a faggot cuck then fine, it's what I likely am I guess, if she's really cheating, at least the cuck part. I brought up him being half black due to the context of her mentioning his cock to me, which I think is a major red flag, a GF shouldn't talk to her current BF about an ex-BF's cock being good, it's one of the things that made me more suspicious.

>>31004112
>>31005215
I know, but I want to wait, I'll talk to her the day after tomorrow after I can spend a night alone with her phone and checking to see if I can find anything that prooves she's either innocent or guilty, and then when I do talk to her, I'll have a lot more to base myself on, tomorrow is D-Day really.

>>31004302
I agree, I'm a fat piece of shit with a pornography addiction that made my cock less sensitive and gave me ED aswell, all of this ruined any chance I had at a good sex life and I haven't made enough of an effort to improve this in the almost 2 years I've been with her... I deserve this, it's my fault.

I'm not a cuckold and, despite developing a lot of fetishes I'm genuinely ashamed of, this wasn't one of them. I can't sleep and I feel genuinely ill.
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>>31006209
>>31006882
>>31007372
>>31007388
>>31009300
I'm already quite into her, and a part of me wants to just go back to normal and have a good time, I love my time with her... but I'll always have this thought in the back of my head, that it isn't real, I already suspect her orgasms might be fake, but I would feel even more suspicious that it's ALL fake really, I need closure, I need the truth, regardless of that truth being comfortable or just miserable.

I don't want revenge or to do anything crazy if she really is cheating, I still love her and I cherish all of our time together, heck, I was planning on asking her to marry me this August... I love her.

>>31007084
>>31007269
I think this is one of my biggest fears in case she is either cheating or planning to cheat, the idea of us not breaking up and me living the rest of my life as a beta bucks while she goes out behind my back to have sex with men she's actually turned on by sounds like such a miserable future for me.

>>31007323
I get why you'd think that, but this isn't a fantasy at all, I'm not excited or turned on by this, it's my life at stake, my dreams and hopes for the future of building a family and life with the woman I love and it feels like it's all falling out of my hands and it's my fault. I hate this... myself... and my life.

>>31007329
I'll break up depending on what I find on her phone tomorrow night after she falls asleep, if it really is a misunderstanding, I'll feel relief and I'll go on to have a nice weekend with her, maybe confronting her about how I want her to cut off her ex-BF completely and leaving it at that, but if she is cheating... then we might just break up, it's hard to predict what I'll think and feel, time will tell...
>>
>>31009425
>a GF shouldn't talk to her current BF about an ex-BF's cock being good, it's one of the things that made me more suspicious.
Meh, it is what it is. Kinda depends on how she talked though. If she was blatantly trying to rub it in your face, then fuck that bitch, but if she was just.. I dunno, being honest? That's different

So what exactly did she say?

>I'm a pathetic excuse for a man and I deserve pain.
>I agree, I'm a fat piece of shit with a pornography addiction that made my cock less sensitive and gave me ED aswell
Oh dude, you should prolly listen to just me (>>31009398) in this thread if you're really being serious

>ruined any chance I had at a good sex life and I haven't made enough of an effort to improve this in the almost 2 years I've been with her.
What do you mean? You mean you ain't been fucking her? For 2 years? Not even with your hand or your foot or the vacuum cleaner or anything?

>despite developing a lot of fetishes I'm genuinely ashamed of, this wasn't one of them
No shame in fetishes, boss

>>31009473
>I'm already quite into her, and a part of me wants to just go back to normal and have a good time, I love my time with her... but I'll always have this thought in the back of my head, that it isn't real, I already suspect her orgasms might be fake, but I would feel even more suspicious that it's ALL fake really, I need closure, I need the truth, regardless of that truth being comfortable or just miserable.
Holy shit this isn't larp, is it? lol

Dude, if you actually need someone to talk to, let me know or something
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>>31009398
Thank you, anon... I really needed to hear that, I think that, sex aside, I've been a good BF, I do my best to be kind, understanding, calm, patient and loving, I go out on dates despite it costing a lot, I buy her nice gifts on special occasions, and even randomly, I trusted her unconditionally, I went to her parents' town every month to work for them for free at their store when they needed help... I did my absolute best, my main sin, perhaps my only major sin, was not defeating my addiction to pornography and masturbation, and not improving my performance in bed as much as she needed.

I suppose not improving my fitness overall despite her constantly getting more fit since we started to date was always quite selfish and lazy of me, I've had my flaws, perhaps major ones, but I did my best. If I do get single, maybe it's for the best, a lot more money, less obligations... it could be fun.

>>31009489
Well, she was mentioning that her family didn't have anyone black, and I mentioned that she almost brought the 1st one then since she dated a 1/2 black guy, and she mentioned that it was fine because he wasn't 100% black and, regarding his "blackness" I guess, he had the "best part" still.

I have sex with her, and I'm improving over time, but I still go limp and can't perform well on the positions she likes, sex is fine, but repetitive and "limiting" as she herself put it. I'm afraid it wasn't enough. It's clear from their messages that she was all over him back then, way more than me.

It's not LARP, I wish it was, but right now it's my life and it blows, but I brought it on myself and now I need to find out what actually going on.

I appreciate offering to talk, but now I just want to wait for time to pass until D-Day so I can clear things up, though I'll still reply to people here.

You're cool, anon. I wish you nothing but the best in life because you deserve it. I hope this weekend I can bring some good news at least.
>>
>>31009560
>my main sin, perhaps my only major sin, was not defeating my addiction to pornography and masturbation
This is a fucking meme and if she's the one who convinced you this was a problem for you, then I hope she rots in hell

> and not improving my performance in bed as much as she needed.
Did she tell you what she wanted you to do? lol

>I suppose not improving my fitness overall despite her constantly getting more fit since we started to date was always quite selfish and lazy of me
Did she tell you that's what she wanted?

>I still go limp
Yeah no fucking shit if she's making you feel bad about yourself, what do you expect? Dude, I just put my dick in soft and hope for the best in that case, usually works out lol

Shit, you're putting all this pressure on yourself to "improve," but what about her? Does she do everything that you wanna do? She lick your asshole? She piss on you? What's the deal?
>>
>>31009300
If she's really cheating, but offers OP to do a threesome with him and another girl wearing the sexy clothes she owns to apologize, should OP take it and forgive? Assuming he can stay hard of course.
>>
>>30992086
Delegate her to FWB status and its no longer cheating.
>>
>>31010867
why would she be fwb with op if he sucks in bed though?
>>
>>30993355
>I love her more than I've ever loved anyone
You love your imagination of her, and now it's clashing with reality.
>>
>>31009425
>...and I haven't made enough of an effort to improve this in the almost 2 years I've been with her...
then do something now idiot
>>
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>>31009834
I think my addiction to pornography is an issue, I knew it since before meeting her, I struggled to get hard and had a difficult time getting hard to "normal" things, and kept watching incresingly shameful pornography to even get off a bit. It simply made it harder for me to feel pleasure through time, I got too used to it in general.

I mean, she just wanted me to not struggle to get and keep an erection, I failed at that... she does want me to lose weight also, among other things, she doesn't pressure me and is still kind overall.

I like how she's losing weight and looking better, but for sex she only wore sexy clothes once, and only did anal early on despite knowing I like it, now I have to give her something first if I want it.

>>31010838
I'd hate to do this and go limp, but if I could stay hard this could be enjoyable, but I think it's best I refuse even if she does offer it since she's quite jealous when other women seem into me at all.

>>31010867
I think (>>31012723) gave a perfect answer, also to me sex is the worst part in our relationship, and we both like how the other wants something more traditional, FWB or open relationships won't work.

>>31012753
I suppose... but then again, I suppose we never truly know someone 100% no matter how close we are, we still only have our idea of them based on what we've observed, I love the idea of her I've built in my head through time over our experience together, now I'm seeing parts of her that I'm not so into, though I'm sure it's the same for her on many regards. I don't know, I hope I'm wrong.

>>31013583
I mean, if I get the evidence that she's not doing anything wrong, then I'll work hard to get better, but if she's already cheating then doing anything now is pointless anyways since I've already lost her, I'll have to see what today brings at night, I'll go to her place in about an hour, then we'll spend a few hours together before going to bed, and it'll be just me and her phone when she's asleep.
>>
>>31014945
>I'll go to her place in about an hour, then we'll spend a few hours together before going to bed, and it'll be just me and her phone when she's asleep.
Good luck.
>>
>>30992086
>me having ED and struggling to get hard and/or to maintain an erection for long
You gotta look after this. Stop porn or if you're circumcized, look into foreskin retainers. This is why you're afraid to break up.
>>
>>31014945
>I think my addiction to pornography is an issue
It's not, and you're not addicted to porn-- NO ONE is addicted to porn. There is no such thing as porn addiction

So, can you get and stay hard while watching porn, or what?

>shameful pornography
No such thing (unless it's porn of you facefucking 5 year olds or something)

>lose weight
How fat are you? Cause being fat does affect your sex life for sure

>and only did anal early on despite knowing I like it, now I have to give her something first if I want it.
This is how you know she's nothing but a worthless cunt, dude. Just stick it in in the middle of fucking her, I'm sure your fat ass can hold her skinny ass down easily. This ought to solve the erection problem too

No but seriously, that is one of the ways to identify a cunt

>also to me sex is the worst part in our relationship, and we both like how the other wants something more traditional
This doesn't work, my friend, sorry. "Traditional" is an insecure incel fantasy, and if the sex is bad in a relationship, then the whole relationship is bad

>but if she's already cheating
She's already cheating

>>31016154
>Stop porn or if you're circumcized, look into foreskin retainers
Horseshit advice. If you can get and stay hard while watching porn, then just watch porn while you have sex with her. Problem solved, you're welcome, next question
>>
A quick update, she's asleep, I have her phone... she deleated the Instagram conversation yet again, but there have been new messages since then, of him asking if her phone number's still the same, and her saying that it is. I downloaded the Instagram messages and sadly it couldn't recover any deleted ones. I've checked pretty much her whole phone now, all other message and social apps, and couldn't find any new information towards one way or the other, my wait was for nothing and I'm still just as lost and in the dark as before, I'll just have to confront her tomorrow without any idea of what's going on, so if she's cheating and lies, I might fall for it, and if she's not, I'll never feel 100% safe about it. I needed to recover those deleted messages to know what was said, fuck...

I'm going to bed for now, I hate living, I feel awful and lost, I don't know anything and what's going on, I don't feel ok, and I regret not killing myself before I met her like I had planned to, I was a coward.
>>
>>31016744
>so if she's cheating and lies
She's cheating, you already know that. She wanted to talk to him about a dog or whatever stupid shit you said (I can't remember)? Great, well that conversation is over now, so what the fuck is she doing sexting the guy? The answer is that the dog thing was a lie and the real reason for texting him was because she wanted to fuck him again. The shitty part is that you don't technically have PROOF that you can shove in her face, but c'mon..

Alright, so ask her how the dog is doing?
>>
>>31016744
Please consider my plan of banging her good with a vibrator
>>
We're both awake now so I'm going to confront her about all of this today. I don't know what to expect or hope for, though, I feel ill and extremely anxious, it's rough.
>>
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man,this thread is so relatable that it hurts me

i never felt love before one girl started talking with me,we spent almost single night together while talking about random stuff,videogames and personal troubles

she talked with her ex and i allowed that cuz they've shared a history together and,well, i tried to be a caring good boy(ironically,ye?)

and this shit happened to me and it's fucking me up until this day

just ask her straight about this shit,be persistant if you really care about her,because caring it's doing hard stuff,even some negative for good cause

if bad things= true

try to let her go,because cheaters don't change

i know this is very hard, because even i after all shit couldn't do this and talked with her, but this is good for your mentally health.
>>
>>31019531
>she talked with her ex and i allowed that cuz they've shared a history together and,well, i tried to be a caring good boy(ironically,ye?)
I think the lesson everyone should take from this thread is that your woman talking to her ex is a red flag and you shouldn't allow it just to be nice.

It always ends the same way.
>>
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>>31018756
Update?
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>>30992086
Just step up the sex game, try the different sex substances maybe some mdma for her and some Viagra for you, give her some nights she will remember and treat her normal

It's not joever
>>
>>31020755
>It's not joever
nah, it's definitely joever
>>
>>31020714
let this retard's thread die.
should have dumped this cunt when she texted her ex.

Just waiting for the inevitable cheating-denial ending where this cuckold stays with his cheating gf cause he hates himself.
sage
>>
>>31018756
While you weren't able to find the deleted messages or anything else, you know she made the decision to delete the chat yet again. She could've respected you, owned up to it and shown you if the reason she deleted it in the first place was to avoid hurting you. It makes no sense, really, but female logic is flawed and self-serving. Frankly, I think we're all here just waiting for the entertaining updates. The advice in this thread boils down to "confront her, then leave her". Want to know for sure what the truth is? Leave it be, keep checking her phone, she WILL slip up and you WILL get a glimpse of something that'll make you feel even worse than you do now. The truth usually liberates us, but this one is just hurtful. Make the assumption that she is cheating and move on, life is short.
>>
>>31020714
I think OP was shocked to find out he was being cheated on and offed himself, or its just taking his time, for some reason.
>>
>>30992086
Did she get that BBC yet?
>>
>>31024422
go back to /gif/
>>
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>>31015834
Thanks.

>>31016154
I'm circumcized, but my GF always mentioned that she liked it and prefers it that way. I'm thinking of getting a cock ring, doing NoFap more efficiently, and maybe losing some weight, if even then it doesn't work well, I might just give it all up.

>>31016531
I'm quite above my ideal weight, stage 2 obesity if I'm recalling it right, I'd have to lose about 40kg to be at a good weight, I really let myself go sadly. I tried talking to her about anal a few times, now especially since her IUD is misplaced and regular sex hurts her, I thought anal was a good option as then we wouldn't use the front, but she said that it hurts even more and doesn't want to, despite the fact she used to do it for me, I'm afraid that when we're married this issue might get worse aswell.

I want sex, including the things I like about it, to be something she does to feel pleasure, but to pleasure me too, in the same way I do things that take work for her sake, serving is a form of love I think, I don't want my fetishes to be a transaction.
>>
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>>31016782
>>31020714
I finally confronted her, she seemed shocked at first, but as I explained things she understood my point and why I was bothered, she said that she deleted the conversations because they were all garbage with him wanting to get in her pants and she didn't want me to see and feel insecure or sad and have the thoughts I'm having about him being better, and she mentioned she did a lot of things with him she didn't want to, but felt forced to, and she doesn't feel that way with me since I treat her better. I asked about him being on her "Best Friends" and she mentioned that it was a way of revenge, for him to see what he missed out on when she posts a good photo, and to feel bad when she posts a photo with me, that's all.

She told me she was curious if he had changed and he didn't, and she didn't like his attitude and replied coldly, which is what I saw in her replies, she didn't cut him off, but never got into it either, she seemed upset at him for only thinking about sex and mentioned their relationship was like this too, so essentially her reasons to add him and talk were curiosity, and a bit of revenge, and she deleted it all because she didn't like how it went and was afraid it could make me feel bad aswell.

After we talked she started crying and apologizing because she didn't know I was reading it and how she felt guilty because she made me feel bad, and she would block him and not talk to him any longer. I think she's being honest, it's clear he wanted to message her on WhatsApp, but I didn't find anything there, because she had blocked him there. It seems that this was a misunderstanding, I stayed the night at her place and we woke up today and had breakfast, then some good sex.

>>31017800
I think introducing toys could be nice, I got a cock ring today, waiting for it to be delivered, and I got a few new skimpy clothes for her too that I want her to wear for me, I might get some other things too, this could be lots of fun in the long run.
>>
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>>31019531
I'm sorry about what happened, anon... I think I got lucky and she really didn't cheat, but I could still be wrong in the long run, anyways thanks for sharing your story, I hope you can find someone who appreciates you in the future, you deserve it.

>>31019928
I guess, I put my foot down and now it looks like she'll cut this whole thing out, no more talking to ex-BFs for the future, and it's nice because I was simple, she didn't protest and even agreed with me that it was a dumb idea for dumb reasons.

>>31020755
I'll definitely try.

>>31021383
I guess this sort of happened, except I really do believe her that nothing happened, she's been so busy with work that I don't even see her having a bit of time to even cheat during the week, and she clearly hates him from what we've always talked.

>>31021657
I suppose I could've waited and kept checking in on her phone, but I barely got any sleep all week, this really messed me up, I needed to get this out of my system and have a genuine talk with her on the subject, and I feel she was honest, just dumb.

Women.

>>31023761
I'm still alive, thank God.

>>31024422
No, only my big, or average if I'm being far, loving BF cock, as far as I'm aware, we had a good time and I plan on being more dominant and fun in the future, because I think she'll like it, already got into buying a bunch of cool stuff for the bedroom.
>>
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Well, thank you for everyone who commented on the thread and gave me advice, I really appreciate it and you guys are awesome. I wish you all the best and that you get amazing GFs/wives who are great in bed and do all of your kinky fetishes. I'm not a cuck, at least I think I'm not, and I'll keep doing my best, hopefully I can watch some less pornography and fuck her more, fuck her better and beat my ED, lose some weight and develop a bit more self esteem, I really need it, for my sake.

Once again, thank you all for the advice and care, you're all friends even though I don't know any of your names or what you all look like, but that isn't an issue, what matter is that when I needed some advice, and to vent, you guys were there for me.

Cheers!

I'm going to bed now, maybe I'll fuck her one more time before we go to sleep, I've made a lot of progress since my 1st time and she seems at least somewhat satisfied, if I keep improving I'm sure she'll be all over me soon enough really.
>>
>>31026824
I guess man, good luck. She could have been chasing closure but desu it seemed like she's still worried about what this guy thinks and if he changed, to what end? Why would she risk the stability of your relationship for someone who should be a nonentity? Why does she want him to feel jealous? Maybe it was just stupidity and if you think you're good now then fine, but idk.
>>
>>31027094
I'm not sure, though the jealous thing makes sense since, from my experience and what I observe, she holds grudges and can be vengeful overall, and takes a lot of pleasure in seeing bad things happen to those she feel have wronged her before, also maybe a bit of stupidity too... all I can really say is this: Women.
>>
I wouldn't have told her and just kept reading that shit every week
>>
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>>31029520
I thought of doing that, but they weren't talking on Instagram much anymore, and I couldn't find any more chats on any other apps, I looked through it, all of her phone... nothing. I mean, unless she can hide it better than I thought, then then really aren't talking anymore, and again while she never cut it off the way I would've wanted, she never seemed "into" it at any point, so I have reason to trust her.

Also, I couldn't wait any longer, and fake that this wasn't bothering me, it was eating me up and the whole week I barely got any sleep. and I felt quite desperate most of the time, I needed to confront her, and I think she told me the truth, or so I hope.



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