Well, sort of.Most of my IRL friends are messy, complicated people but decent. Most of my online friends live far away and our shared interests naturally take up most of the friendship.Since becoming quite ill after some work injuries I was more or less bundled up and carted out by insurers and now barely survive with my Mrs, in constant pain but trying to make the best of a bad situation by being healthy, doing my bit and keeping the place going while she works. Well, if I had to put in the majority of effort before, it's unbelievable now. People make plans with me and it's so fake I detect a hint of malice, one friend has cancelled on my six or seven times in as many months - I haven't physically seen him in 2 years or more.What can I do to make new friends? Ever since becoming, err, differently abled (I broke my back amongst other things) they gawp at me like an exhibit every two years if they bother at all. It sucks because I really can't get out much. I don't even think it registers with my friends, I already feel like I've lost face by trying to assert boundaries or impose standards in the past, it's just I've been very generous with some of those people and to not even see them through two years of sickness and pain, it's just... fucking demoralising honestly. >in b4 talk to your friendsThe best I will get is public, effusive acknowledge ment followed by a mental note to isolate me more. I mean I'm wracking my brain as to what it is, I'm reasonably polite, not super political, I go out of my way to help and encourage people, some of my interests are a bit esoteric, and my manner a bit nerdy but otherwise idk - people just seem to see me only in reference to their needs being met, and I can't seem to help but try to make them happy. You should see how some of them have turned since I was too unwell to go out partying, or had problems so severe I wasn't able to help them like always.
>>32321458I'm sorry about the hand life has dealt you OP, and respect to you for being pragmatic and making the best of things. It's a shitty way to find out that your friends are Fairweather, right when you need them, but that's usually when they show their stripes. I'd say if you don't feel you can have a sincere conversation with them, if they don't give you the time of day or any consideration, then it's pretty clear that you just have familiar acquaintances, not friends. It's tough if you can't get out in physical spaces to meet people, but there's groups for the more couchish activities as well, like card shops where you can meet DnD weirdos who are sometimes cool, gaming competitions, hobbyist groups of any variety. Check forums that are particular to your location or close by, and I know shooting groups are not only usually non-discriminating, but very accepting, and shooting is a hobby for people of any ability level. You can just do benchrest all day if you want. Friends really just come from anywhere, though, and usually by pure happenstance. If you're doing physical therapy, you might find people in those places. If you are a regular at a public space like a park or Cafe, you might meet someone there. If you do go back to work in some form, you may find them there. What's important is to not pigeonhole yourself by only looking for like-minded people who share your interests and predilections, because if you're open-minded you'll be surprised by who you can get along with and have meaningful connections with, and to always remain social in whatever capacity you can. It doesn't have to lead to friendship, but just putting yourself out there, being somewhere that you can be seen, is where to start. I hope you can recover and regain some degree of your physical ability so you can enjoy active things again, as those spaces are always full of cool and helpful people.
>>32321516Thanks for taking the time, most of that just makes me feel sick in my heart because I've had too many bad experiences sadly. Thanks for being patient
>The best I will get is public, effusive acknowledgement followed by a mental note to isolate me more.And this will give you more finality then continuing to speculate. It will make it easier for you to cut them off, or rarely they will second guess how they've been treating you.
>>32321458Dude, i cant even get anyone on this site to even answer a dm on kik or discord. Its like insta ghost no matter who i talk to. Fuck this gay shit. I guess ill be forever friendless.Everyone is so goddamn guarded and secretive and selfish with their time. They say they want friends, but when you begin a conversation they dont even reply.
>>32321458I'm in a somewhat similar position to you. 23 and in university. I have flatmates I live with but they're all on the same course, so I get kinda left out.I was too retarded/depressed to go out and socialize in my first few years of uni so I didn't end up making many friends. I made a couple but they either graduated or dropped out of uni and don't reply when I message. One of them was actually really close, so yeah it hurts.Have one online friend who lives kinda near me but he's also too depressed to meet up.Don't really know what to suggest OP. But I empathize. On the bright side, at least you have a partner to share your life with.
I’ll be your friends anon, but I don’t know how to get ahold of you. I’m 33
>>32322398On 4chan, nearly all anons posting aren't looking for actual friends. If they're male they won't respond unless you come off as a woman, and the foids are 100% mentally ill. Unironically try reddit (but not much better there)
