i wish i was normal and not disgusting

I've always had this fear of everything.
I live in fear of people judging and making fun of me. I live in fear of looking weird and being disliked.
I'm so sick of this shit, it's ruined my life being such a fucking pussy.

>>32375050
I fucking hate women.

>>32375135
Are you gay?

>>32375155
No, I just really don't like them.

>>32375158
Why?

Sometimes I feel like there's a better chance for me to get what I want if I just lie about something, but it's in my nature to be authentic and honest.

I've nurtured too much bitterness and insecurity. Even if I lucked upon a girl who was everything I dreamed of I'd fuck it up because of my baggage.

Chaos is always there for me even when no one else is. Thanks chaos.

>>32375050
i wish i could find a cure for my pathetic life i tried everything i can to come out of depression and anxiety but nothing works.
also i wish i had a girl that loved me.
but I've done some things in the past and I'm a useless retard so I don't think i deserve any of my wishes

>>32375168
They are rude to me.

I'm getting upset over the fact I can't reach a high rank in a videogame. I don't have much time before the leaderboards are wiped and I miss my rewards.

>>32375770
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opJyEUVqmv8
Here's a song, maybe it helps.

>>32375050
FUCK FOSSIL FUELS

i dont feel well have not eaten three days while abusing meds i want to go longer because i am hoping to repeat this process and die eventually or go insane shoot myself i miss being in the 80s weight range it would be much easier to get closer to death then

i did a week worth of adderall in two days i will try not to take it today not like i have anything else to do though

>>32375867
What brought on this acute state of depression, anon?
I'd like to hear your story if you're willing to tell it.

>>32375879
Anon, you've got to stop that shit or you are going to kill yourself.
How long have you been taking Adderall?

>>32375909
repeated abuse and bullying throughout life, all forms of abuse

>>32375922
i want to die, my depression has reached a peak, i accept i can never be helped. i have been taking adderall on and off for a year, i managed to not abuse it the last couple of months but i've started up again in the last month, three days ago i got my refill and this is so far the worst ive abused it

Is it normal to feel like shit because someone at your business your age is pregnant with multiple children and everyone's celebrating it while you've managed to get nowhere in life?
Why am I envious of this? It won't be easy. I have it easy, I'm alone.

>>32375947
>>32375955
How old are you? Are you currently living in an abusive environment?

>>32375050
Why? Why did you do this to me? Just answer.

>>32375969
20, yes i am
i cannot move out and i do not care to anymore, just waiting to die

>>32375955
Now I'm worried, you're my former frenemy/nemesis, M.

>>32375983
no my name doesn't even start with an M

>>32375977
okay you aren't who I'm thinking of, you're just a baby. Reach out to someone and get help buddy. Choose you, choose life over this.

>>32375977
I want you to tell you my story of abuse so that you might be comforted that I have pulled through. Do you want to know about it?

>>32375990
there is nobody to reach out to
i never had much of a life in the first place but it's gone now

>>32376001
if you would like to, you can
i'm sorry, i don't think it will help, i am still actively being abused and i can't escape it

>>32376005
You can just call a community hotline and they will help you, find you the resources to pull through. Or talk to a religious organization.

>>32376007
Well, I won't bother telling my story though.. of multiple rapes, cults, torture etc. but know you can get out of your situation, you just have to want it enough.

>>32375977
You got a set of legs don't you? Good, then start eating and get your ass out of there. Yeah yeah, I know, it's far easier said than done, especially when you're so deeply depressed, I understand, but I can't help but to try convey to you something which can spark your fire.

Now there are ways you can get out of there and into a healthier environment without too much monetary expense. Here's one of them:
https://www.workaway.info/en/hostlist

But you got to eat first, you're going to need some strength. And I know how it goes in the deepest depths of depression: hunger all but ceases. But sometimes you just have to shove shit down your throat regardless even if your body protests against it.

Do you have some money? Enough for an Uber or a bus fare to get you to a new home where you can live? I know someone a little older than you who bounces from host to host and makes a living doing it. At 20 years of age you're in the perfect age range for doing workaways and learning new skills and trades from your hosts.

But you have to want it. If you have any desire to survive then you have to get out of that environment, otherwise it will kill you. And yeah, it's not easy fighting against this world and its endless legions of violent assholes. But there are good people out there, though few as they may be. But I think it's worth a shot. See what happens when you run into good people and integrate with a healthy environment. I think you may be surprised how much life can be conveyed to you from without when you're lacking it within.

>birthday is Nov 30th
>each birthday I get blackout drunk so that it takes 3 days to recover
>get 1 pain free day out of it
>my ego gets kept in check by the action for the rest of the year
>plan around my lack of fridge space by pre-cooling drinks outside and transferring them to the fridge
>don't check the weather forecast as it's always cold on my birthday
>leave house tonight
>feels a bit warm innit
>get back inside
>check temperature
>8-9c
>don't worry it'll get colder
>forecast will go up to 12c overnight with a low of 11 in the morning
>30th will be 13-14c the entire day only getting cold on monday
you motherfucker you

i know anything i could say to you, no matter how sincere or deep from my heart, as an expression of how i feel could never get through to you so i won't say anything at all

There's a big difference between functional autists and non-functional autists. The non-functional ones are just retards.

>>32376068
Okay, enjoy my permanent absence from your life then. Goodbye and remember it's your choice, not mine. The door is permanently closed now. Go away, I truly never want to hear from you ever again now. I'm done.

Can't wait to get home and jerk off my rock solid dick until my balls are completely empty.

Bitch.

>>32376270
What did I do now?

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FUCK man I am so hot. Goddamnit. It's amazing that you don't even need to go to the gym to have a decent physique, just some carpentry skills, a shovel handle and some spare screws. This is so much better than being skinnyfat.

>cuddles and kisses every morning and night
>loving sex all the time
>playing vidya together
>cooking and cleaning together
>taking walks together while holding hands
>working out at the gym together
>tells me all the time that I am her life and that I saved her
Older, divorced, childless women are underrated.

Fucking twat wormed her way into my friend group and won't fuck off. I don't want her hanging around my friends. Bitch can't read the room and fuck off when I'm trying to have some alone time with one of my friends and she keeps butting in.

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To the person of potential future import, I can't tell you any of this because its too overly familiar and inconsiderate but let's speak again soon. There's so many cosmic coincidences that make me feel like you're the "new" good thing that I've carved out a space for by purging everything old and rotten and diseased that hurt me. Its still a process but the progress is night and day even this second. A major change I can never take back was decided with meeting you as a catalyst for finally making a scary decision no one else could talk me into for a whole year. I'm already better off by having crossed your path. There's so much I wish I could tell you. So many and all of them far too flowery and intense for someone you just met. I want to tell you everything like I'm staying up with a childhood friend too late at a sleepover speaking in tired whispers. If I really was destined to meet you then we have a lifetime to catch up and many more late night soft and hazy talks to come. But I can't help but be excited for the next time I'll hear from you even now anyways.

I bought a shower curtain+liner and a blanket after dealing with the same fucked up ones for years. Figure this may be a start to me getting my shit together.

>>32375050
First off thanks for the blessings: I have clothes, food, and a temp place to stay when it gets freezing. Thanks for my gentleness and assertiveness, and thanks to the family and friends for the love, mercy, and tolerance they have given and shown. Thank you for what little I have now and for allowing me to stay alive despite my words and actions. Forget the evil from what I said and forget the evil from what I did. Why do you like torturing me so much? Why do you send me places, guide me to the same spots only to reprimand and kick me out? Why do I have this cross to carry by myself? What would it take so I can be free from the shackles of whatever the heck is in me keeping me from achieving my dreams? I read a verse today from King David and prayed, but after a while I felt this wasn’t any better. Do you revel in making good people suffer? I have asked for help in my goals and even asked for you to end my life, yet you always trick me. How do you expect a servant to preach your love when they are given the opposite, worse yet, when you take from them? I wish I could complain to the supreme or whoever is spiritually in charge and just forward all my bad memories, pains, and traumas with a big stamp of “you know who did this”. I don’t think I fit where I am, yet you won’t guide me to where I am meant to be. Happy holidays, I guess…

Why am I so weak

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I don't really know why I'm sticking around. I mean, obviously we're very good friends, and I am there because I am hoping that eventually, things will finally go my way and I'll finally get back the person that I actually love. But with all this stress and all the clear signs that it's all just pointless struggling, that she'll never ever give me one chance, it constantly feels like I should just pull the plug on everything. It's too toxic if she's going to be with somebody else.

This would all be so much easier if I had just gotten a chance. Or if she hadn't cheated on me. It would be so much less stressful for everyone.

I KNOW YOU ARE HERE . WHY ARE YOU STILL TRACKING MEEEEEEEEEEE

i dont want to give any one attention cause that would be cringe but i want everyone to ask for it...may even beg a little kek.

>>32375966
No? It's kind of bad in a way for them. They're bringing their children into a bad time.

so grateful that i did not humiliate my self by asking him to go to the movies the day before he posted a picture of his gf a couple weeks ago, i have never dodged a bullet so hard and its all thanks to my cowardice for once. i don't think i would have ever recovered from it if i would have actually did that. and i was seriously about to shoot my shot cause i knew he would have really enjoyed the film i even had his stories muted and picked the perfect day to go check his profile to see him post her... god im so glad i stopped orbiting him back in august and went radio silent, he will never even know that i liked him, all of our interactions are very friendly and cordial. im so glad i didn't embarrass myself lol i think about it everyday and giant wave of relief washes over me. still kinda bummed he has a gf though but at least i can move on with my life.l but yeh WHEW thank god for being a pussy

If you want my attention you know where to get it.

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I'm at my limit with all of this. I'm exhausted and I cannot take it anymore.
The back and forth arguments are never going to stop unless I get what I want. I know myself and my emotions. I could never ever accept this situation no matter what way I try to view it. I already know the only way we'll ever have peace is if she gives me a second chance.
I'm gonna stop this perpetual stress one way or another. Whether it goes my way or not.

Elon has been stalking me and I don't know why or how. I'm sure some of his buddies are reading here. Now I question everything about Blake, who now works for him. Did Elon pay him to talk to me, to get involved with me. I genuinely loved Blake, I still love Blake, I will always consider him a friend. I'm tired of this shit. I want the truth. Who are you people and why do you fucking follow me? Because I'm psychic? Because of my connections with Freemasonry/US military etc etc.

Who the hell are you people. Why won't you give me answer? It's unbelievably FRUSTRATING.

>>32377091
<3

>>32377091
I really don't know. There are lots of people out there, lots of people I know.

I can't pretend we're just friends

I thought i was autistic all my life. I thought I had ADHD, autism, aspergers, whatever you want.

Turns out, I'm OCD. At 30 I learned my issue is rumination and this is caused by OCD. When I quieted my head, I felt normal for the first time in my life, and it felt amazing.

>>32377254
>When I quieted my head
what did you do to achieve that? i thought my ocd rumination was caused by anxiety so i went on prozac and liked it. was thinking about getting back on it once i get health insurance...

I hope AI becomes so good at programming all the onions techbros who think they are hot shit lose their jobs

>>32377209
And you know, I'd respect you if you just simply told me the truth. You're the golden goose, we're using you, we don't really care about you but you help us make money off you through your abilities.(and never give you credit). FINE. I'd be fine with that whatever it is BUT YOU DON'T. You can't even fucking give me that much, can you? Instead you're all creeping around, using me. JUST BE HONEST. This is honest, at least you people admit it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ_1HMAGb4k

>>32377327
Oh god, PLEASE let this happen. It's only fucking fair now that it has taken over art.

>>32377265
I've achieved it twice. The first time was by trying meditation out of desperation from life long rumination and the second time via a genius psychiatrist who correctly diagnosed me with OCD and made me realize my issue was in fact rumination, and despite achieving a quiet mind in the past, I did not know the new rumination I was developing was the same as the old one. I did not know my issue in the past was rumination and OCD. I did not even know I had OCD all along.

She taught me how this was in fact OCD and not based in reality, and she also taught me how to deal with the rituals. She just gave me a new perspective, and I could quiet my head for the second time using the techniques from before, but also quieting the rituals and everything.

If you haven't even learned mindfulness, I advise doing so first with headspace, that's what I used. Don't hop on meds

>>32377329
Maybe you see it as you're just helping me. That is fucking terrifying and true. ALL OF IS. After I freaked the fuck out online, told a bunch of people how the song freaked me out, Taylor did a cover that eased my fears. Then you all hate Taylor? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Is it because Elon know Kanye? That's the connection? God damn, I fucking hate my life. I am just going to drink my pain away.

>talking to girl
>she woke up at 3 to work at 4 for black Friday
>talk for a bit and ask how it was
>seems annoyed
>"I hope you have a great day then, ill try to be less annoying"
>she says you werent annoying me but ok bye have a good day
>stops answering
>repost a tiktok with 1D music in it cause it was cute and the band reminds me of her
>tweets about how people who post 1D without being fans make her irrationally angry
>"Youre undeserving goodbye!"
so fuck me? I assumed she'd be cranky and iv been a beta recently, so i was just trying to be considerate. I reposted it instead of sending it cause it was cute and reminded me of her. the fuck do i do

>>32376303
>be me
>good height, frame, face
>just have to not be fat
>put on muscle easily
Too bad I'm severely anxious.

>>32377382
Calmer now. I can say I didn't sign up for this but I guess I did. Somewhere in the past, maybe I did. I absolutely know my goal in life was complete cultural upheaval. I can't blame anyone that was a part of that or this new era. I'm not afraid of order. Chaos was necessary but we now need order.

https://x.com/elonmusk/status/1854313368401613146

>>32375050
When I found out my ex girlfriend got married It broke me inside. I feld physical pain. We broke up in 2011 and she got married in 2022 so yeah...I still had (and will probably forever will have) feelings for her like for no other. Even though in that time apart from her I had a number of affairs, short term relationships, ons etc. but I never truly loved any other girl as I loved her and probably never will.

>>32377476

They were tricked, they were exposed and I AM grateful for help. I even love Julian, even though the table have turned. Why? It's all a part of this overall plan. Al jazeera is writing hit pieces on Trump. They all know they were tricked now and the truth will come out. I know if they find out about me, they'll kill me but I don't fear death.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bag1gUxuU0g

>>32377497
One day people will understand the Wizard of Oz, the red shoes. The cat MK-ultra programming. It's all so funny that people have no idea what's really going on. I suppose being able to laugh together, at inside jokes, being able to signal to each when no one else understands...is the only thing that gives me any joy at all now. At least we know what the truth is, how hard our lives really are. Other people get to just live with normal every day problem. Oh your father beat you, you were locked in a cupboard... big fucking deal. Obviously, it's painful, it's traumatizing but try our fucking lives out. I think at this point I only have respect for people like us and military.

I want to a woman to caress my hair and whisper soothing words to me as she wipes away the tears from my face and washes away the blood on my arm. I want to feel loved in my most vulnerable moments, but I just know that I'd be perceived as a giant pussy.

>>32375050
I have loving parents, had great friends, was gifted as a child, have many talents. But despite this life, I wanna kms and I'm tired and find life tasteless. I have big stress and anxiety issues. I have terrible ocd, I feel lonely most of the time. I should've been able to have a great situation yet I have almost no motivation for anything...

When you're younger, you compare yourself to everyone else. Who is further along on the path than you are now but as you get older, you don't care. At least I don't. The most interesting people are those that don't know what they want to do with their life at an advanced age. Keeping up with the Joneses, will just keep you in the same old boring pattern that everyone else is in. There is so much more to live than making money, having stuff... even more than getting married married and having kids. I don't find many "ambitious" people that interesting. It just means, you want a nice house, nice car, arm candy and mistresses. How insanely boring.

>>32377744
True. Chasing to fit in will just make you an NPC.

What level of friendliness is acceptable in a professional setting?

>>32377682
Every woman wants to care for a man like this, as long as it isn't a constant. As long as you aren't consistently weak and looking for a mother gf.

Had a dry orgasm this morning. Not sure if it's because I ejaculated while semi flaccid or because I nutted 5 times in 3 hours on the night before

>>32377682
>Wants to cry in the arms of a woman
>Doesn't know the implications of this
And in whose arms is the woman going to cry, anon? Yours?
>>32377927
No they don't. They want a man who will care for them that way. They don't want a manbaby to care for like that. When you have children, you can forget about it altogether.

I don't like 'Grimes'. I don't think she is a true artist, just a pop junk food kind of artist and I HATE her mom with a passion. I do however feel sorry for her with her battle with Elon. What a horrible thing, not being able to see your own child because you mated with a powerful 1/2 psychopath.

>>32377971
Absolutely 100% fair and children always come first.

>>32377988
She is very immature, just as Elon is. There is no real substance although she tries really hard. Even though Elon has psychopathic father, he is much more evolved as a human being.

BECAUSE YOU TREATED ME SO BADLY FOR NO REASON. WHAT DID I DO TO YOU TO DESERVE HALF THE CRAP YOU SAID? NOTHING. YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IM MAD AT YOU. WHY COULDNT YOU JUST APOLOGIZE AND MAKE UP AND PRETEND EVERYTHING WAS OKAY?

A few days ago I made a post on this very thread saying "I know you'll come back, I'm sure about it".
She did indeed come back today. I really knew it.

Gaslighting.

Kayne isn't an 'alien', Katy is. That's why Elon chases... the concept of Katy. I appreciate Kanye's loyalty though. I definitely see it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Sd5c4o9UM

I hope he returns to me too. Please hope with me... I'm scared he won't but I'm begging fate that he will. He's my everything...

>>32378056
I hope so too. Why are you a good person for him, why is he good for you?

>>32378056
Don't chase, attract. If he's gonna come back, let him do it by himself. It worked for me at least.

>>32378049
dyslexia lol

It's ALL real, you people are just too dumb, too doubting thomas, to ever understand what is truly happening in the world. It's an alien invasion but you don't even understand what an alien is. Snowden might.

>>32378049
They used to tell me I was Katy. The freemasons/ Rosicrucians, the 'illuminati'

Then... there is Taylor lol

I am calm, I have gotten more mastery over my anger. You are acting like a stupid retarded bitch, but maybe, just maybe you won't be such a stupid fucking bitch later

the civilized feral must be studied

i am such a sweet person

Cook burger ytp 2024 is a bbc

>>>32378124
You don't sound like a good person if I'm being honest. It's weird how men expect you to fight other women, over them. No way that will ever happen. If you want to be with her/him go for it, don't let me hold you back. I'm not fighting over a man LOL serious? That's what insecure women do.

>>32378206
What the fuck is this comment

I'm not sure exactly how to put this..

They watch me 24/7, they surround me. One man's wife in the community spilled the secrets...that they were protecting were there to protect/surveille. I gave them the finger and they all laughed but this isn't funny, it's my life. I live like a celebrity and that's how I can relate. Even if they do manage to murder me, they will be found and destroyed. On every level. I wouldn't mess with them. Rich knows what happens when you mess with me.... he didn't even get close to me, just a threat, and they financially destroyed him to the point that harming me wasn't an option. Same fate for anyone.

>>32378215
Lol, this?

It's weird how men expect you to fight other women, over them. No way that will ever happen. If you want to be with her/him go for it, don't let me hold you back. I'm not fighting over a man LOL serious? That's what insecure women do.

It's a general rant.

>Message a friend telling him that he can talk to me and that I'm with him (he's apparently having a bad time)
>No response
>See him posting on social media like nothing the next day
>Realize that I got ignored completely
This really hurt me, I'm more sensitive than I thought
I though we were friends but it seems it was one sided

>>32378263
Please take my advice - Never fully emotionally invest in anyone unless they show you complete devotion. Test it completely before you leap. 9 times out of 10 men are emotionally stunted and unavailable. They do NOT deserve your friendship or love. Save that for someone good.

I post and get responded by a retarded schizo

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I'm so fucking horny I can't stand it.

>>32378069
He's a kind, sweet person who was close to me in a way that no one else was. He's been going through a lot of bad things between his family, work, and addiction. He gave me so much hope for the future. He got upset and decided to leave me this past week because he's "giving up" on his life. I sent him a bunch of texts because he scared me (I thought he was going to kill himself) and he became upset and decided that he doesn't want to get back together. I told him how much I care and that I just want him to be happy even if that means letting him go. I'm hoping at some point his sadness and depression fades and we find each other again. I'm not sure how long that will take but I want to take care of him and give him a good life even if that means I have to work hard at it... We wanted to have children together and buy a little house with some land. I got pregnant with his baby in early June but I had a miscarriage after one of my family members beat me upon finding my pregnancy test. He brought it up once and told me I had killed our baby. I cried for weeks after that but didn't tell him. I blame myself for the break up because I upset him a couple times. The first time was because I was so sad he'd been gone for a while and became upset when he had to leave again, and the second time I called him and asked him if he "wanted this relationship to work out?" I wasn't threatening to break up, I was just frustrated he'd gotten drunk and hadn't come over to spend the day with me. I love him to death and didn't mean it that way. I wish I hadn't said that. It broke my heart when he told me he didn't want to be together after all. I wish I had been a better person for him.

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Sometimes i wonder if the people here (and in the whole internet) is aware of the karma of their toxicity, and incoming shit that will happen in the next days... ah, almost forgot that I FUCKING HATE CERTIFYING MY MAIL EVERY FUCKING TIME I POST A FUCKING COMMENT... uff... alright...and now... the news...

>>32378311
Then don't post. You're an npc normie.

>>32378311
Fight!

>>32378330
Yes, karma. They don't understand that CERN and the US military (my peeps) started the internet. They don't understand how they collect info and control it all. It's funny that they don't understand that and it won't end well for them, at all. Lmfao

>>32378330
>ah, almost forgot that I FUCKING HATE CERTIFYING MY MAIL EVERY FUCKING TIME I POST A FUCKING COMMENT... uff... alright...and now... the news...
you just got hexxed/attacked and then fought it off
just thought you should know

You were a goddamn bitch to me. You wanted me away, so your best choice was to treat me badly even though you said I'm not a bad person. You gave me some terrible depression in the process

Now, I'm sorry for my mistakes too. I know I said and did things I shouldn't have, so I hope you can forgive me for that

There was a time where I cherished you, and I cared about you. Even now, I still can't avoid doing that, although we have to go separate ways now

I hope you can heal from your trauma. You grew up becoming self-centered and resenting the world because of the people who hurt you, but I always liked to think of you as a sweet girl. I also hope you become a better person

Maybe in another life we could've been good friends, just like in the past. Please take care

BNSF stands for Better Not Start a Family. So sad

Arpa had built a computer network called Arpanet, which linked mainframes at universities, government agencies, and defense contractors around the country

What year Elon?

>>32378366
I don't think anyone would care about you bas you call them a bitch. It's weird to me how evil people expect love when they're abusive.

>>32378383
>I don't think anyone would care about you bas you call them a bitch. It's weird to me how evil people expect love when they're abusive.
that's what happens when you get older in this world, unless you have sort of an armor, though idk what that is or how to get it
:/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RK6QlhUqxk4

>>32378383
>It's weird to me how evil people expect love when they're abusive
Heh, okay. I think her ex-boyfriend would say the same (I'm still friends with him for a reason)

I can't feel any joy in my life

>>32378387
I wish I knew. This pain is so bad. I miss him and can't stand walking away from him. I hope I don't become a bad person as I get older. I want to make him happy again someday...

>>32378387
It's called accountability for your own actions. if you're missing that aspect, that's a huge problem.

>>32378395

You think an ex-boyfriend is going to have a fair, compassionate view of someone? Calling someone a bitch just demonstrates what you are inside, not her.

>>32378409
i think you're right

>>32378376
At some point the guy is looking at the payment portal and it sets in. He makes 700 dollars a day and it doesn't exactly matter how many kids they have together, he can do better and she's basically just an annoyance. Her and her family are just an annoyance.

I get second-hand embarrassment over women pining over men that treat them badly. I'm determined to never let that happen to me.

>>32378366
Explain your circumstances. What exactly happened? Just calling someone a bitch doesn't prove anything.

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If one day life stops being unfair I'll stick a dust mop up my ass and dress myself as a drag queen I'll walk with the dust mop up my ass from here to Los Angeles from Los Angeles to New York from New York I'll drag my skinny hairy ass to the new holy city. It's a joke. Believe it or not.

>>32378342
Honestly, punch yourself in the face until you knock yourself out. FIGHT!

>>32378435
People pine over people who treat them like shit because they're trying to recreate and fix the trauma of their parents treating them like shit. If a woman grows up and her dad treats her like shit she'll spend the rest of the life always yearning for the approval of a man like her dad to try to subconsciously earn the love she never got as a child. She'll never get her dad to love her so a guy that is just like her dad is the next best thing. Something about the wiring in people's brains gets fucked up when they're abused as kids. Its a shockingly frequent occurrence.

>>32378366
There are no other lives. There's only what we have now.

>>32378424
500k in a chase bank account accruing 2% interest annually and wow, what the fuck is even a child support payment?

>>32378463
That's a valid theory, I can definitely see that might be a factor. It's still rather pitiful and shameful though to let a man walk all over you and care for him.

Cigarettes > Weed

>>32378366
If you're sorry you should just tell her. What do you have to loose? If you liked her, then get the spark back. Don't be a moron who just gives up.

>>32378435
>I'm determined to never let that happen to me.
Don't worry, you'll never be in that position because you'll never be a woman.

I'll change for you. Anything to have you back in my arms.

>>32378448
I don't think I want to get into detail right now, I've already been telling this to people over the last weeks. I'm just going to say that recently we've had a rough friendship over time and I thought we were healing, but well, she said that she only pretended that she enjoyed talking to me but wanted to stop now

Things just became toxic between us, and we're both at fault to different degrees, so it's probably better this way
>>32378466
You're right, that's what I'm trying to accept
>>32378503
Hahaha, no. She already told me to fuck off after the matter, but hopes that I'll be alright

>>32378123
>>32378206
>>32378239
>>32378251
>>32378291
>>32378334
>>32378352
THIS STILL ISN'T YOUR PERSONAL BLOG NAMEFAGGOT, FUCK OFF. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE SOME SCHIZO BABBLE ABOUT THEIR RETARD PROBLEMS, THEN GET ARMCHAIR ADVICE FROM THAT SAME SCHIZO. KILL YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY, YOU WORTHLESS SUMMER ANT.

>>32378559
I see, I hope you find real love, someone who will want more for you both. You deserve to find fortune, happiness, and kindness in this world.

>>32378496
True.

>>32375050
I’m a piece of shit

I know it doesn’t look like it, but I’m just trying to do the best I can, and my best isn’t good enough. I hurt people.

I wish you no harm. I have no ill will towards you. I’m really just a mess, and I bled all over you. I fucked up so bad, I’ll never forgive myself.

>>32378693
THIS STILL ISN'T YOUR PERSONAL BLOG NAMEFAGGOT, FUCK OFF. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE SOME SCHIZO BABBLE ABOUT THEIR RETARD PROBLEMS, THEN GET ARMCHAIR ADVICE FROM THAT SAME SCHIZO. KILL YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY, YOU WORTHLESS SUMMER ANT.

>>32378693
YOU SHOULD ALSO PROBABLY RECONSIDER THE NAME SINCE YOU'RE NOBODIES GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE, FAGGOT.

My girlfriend hopped off birth control and is insisting she’s using an app now instead. Every instinct in my body says either use a condom from here on out or even just bail the fuck out of this situation. I have never dated a girl who did this and it feels like she’s basically trying to put me into an unwinnable dilemma/high stakes shit test and I have dated plenty of girls who have done that. Does anyone know anything about these “apps?” It sounds like extreme bullshit.

Just wanted to say thanks to the poster that helped me out a lot here when I was losing my shit over possible bed bugs the other day. An exterminator was called for a free consultation and investigation and found nothing in my apartment and in the neighboring apartments. Also, after I stopped itching myself, the spots stopped appearing on my bedsheets. The peace of mind is greatly appreciated.

>>32378693
Uh oh, you've attracted the hate of a writhing bitch...

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46 KB PNG

I'm going to stop all this nonsense come December no matter what it takes. There's no way I'm gonna live like this anymore

>>32378757
your instincts are right. don't EVER allow a woman to be in control of the birth.

>>32378757
They work. Me and my boyfriend used them a lot but if in doubt, use a condom. The app only works if your girlfriend avoids her fertile window entirely by tracking her period correctly. If she misses by a couple days, someone might get a bunch in the oven. If in doubt, use the spermicide type of birth control (looks like tampons but is filled with spermicide jelly and feels like lube) it's the best stuff and it's cheap.

>>32378757
They only work for periods. She's trying to baby trap you.

And nor will I let her endure any of this shit any longer. I'm done with this perpetual cycle of arguing. So much pain just because of how the breakup was handled. It's gonna end now. No matter which way it goes.

>>32378722
You're so fucking abusive. That is so bloody mean. That person is in pain and has never said anything terrible to anyone here. This is not YOUR thread, LEAVE if you don't like what that person writes. You're a horrible thing, why would that even bother you, there are no rules about how many posts a person can make and some people have a lot to say. I sincerely think you're an evil being.

>>32378540
My vagina tells me you'll never be a real human being.

>>32378804
>>32378807
Yeah I’ve dated a few girls and never so much as even heard of this and as I type this I actually have never known any girl or guy friend of mine dating a girl that has ever used it. It’s not like apps as an idea haven’t been around for what, decades now? I would’ve had to come across it directly or indirectly by now and even Googling doesn’t turn up much.
>>32378806
Condom is definitely going to be my default for now while I evaluate just what the fuck she was thinking. You would be the second girl in my life I’ve ever heard use this supposed app and you’re an anonymous stranger on the internet. Condom should cover my ass, but again, my gut is screaming at me “dude fucking run.”

>>32378567
I can prove everything I wrote, it's factually sound but you are most definitely an EVIL psychopath. Imagine getting this upset over nothing, a post on a retarded evil site. How do you even cope in life? Let me guess, you don't. You can't even socialize and absolutely NO ONE likes you lmao... karma you miserable creature. It's wonderful that you will die this miserably hateful. :-) Meanwhile, other people live their lives, know important people. You will always be a loser and no one will EVER respect you as your character is 0/10 your looks 0/10 your personality 0/10

Just rope.

>>32378880
There is too track when you're ovulating, however it only works for having a baby/having sex. For sure use condoms and just get bjs from her instead and or break up with her

>>32378880
You're right to feel that way. You'd have to reaaaally trust her for this. Most people who do this have already considered having children. Spermicide does work though, if her reasoning is not liking condoms or pills. If she still demands not using anything, then she's trying to trap you. Most girls like the spermicide (it's very slippery!)

>>32378567
My guess, is you DESPERATELY want attention and that's precisely why you're psychotically and abnormally triggered by people with a name in the name field. Take it up with 4chan mods, ask them to remove it because you're have a complete mental breakdown over other people being identified (you could do it too since it's clear you REALLY want to). How ironic that you call everyone else insane you psychopathic, narcissistic goblin.

>>32378567
Also, imagine thinking anyone wants to see your little temper tantrum. I imagine this is how you get attention from your mommy. Stomp your feet, demand you get your own way, YELL at everyone, think only your input is valid. Here is a little secret child, no one, absolutely NO one likes people like you. I hope that helps. Now go cry and scream about 4chan posts you don't like and people you can't control. Go rip off your mom's head. I'm sure she hates you too and regrets having you. Your head is exploding now, I'm sure.

>>32378291
Full devotion straight away is even worse. Sign of mental illness and love bombing.

>>32378567
You're simply angry that I pointed out the truth (I know it's you). It's a one-sided friendship because absolutely no one likes you no matter how hard your try. Just give up, loser.

>>32377009
What

>>32378998
Where did I write, straight away? You're the asshole venting at everyone in CAPS like a mentally ill person, aren't you? This isn't your thread.

>>32378998
Oooh! You got called out! Haha!

I don't mind crazy people, I prefer people that think outta the box, who aren't conventional, who are original, aren't like everyone else... but I absolute despise angry crazy people. They should all be put down, like the CAP freak in this thread lol

It's so pathetic.lol

I don't know what to try any more. Each day is the same. I am ashamed of myself and don't want people to see how far I've fallen.

If your life is so very small that you get FURIOUS about posts, in one of many threads, on this shit 4chan site...it's really simply time for an evaluation from a mental heath professional.

>>32379033
Weird comment. Are you that anon that thinks you called me out? Lol

>>32379043
No, I'm on your side. I don't like his posts either.

What is comes down to is most people that post here have really severe mental illnesses. From my assessment, I see mostly sociopaths and psychopaths who clearly lack empathy for people. Who think only they matter, that no one else matters in the world. This site attracts them like magnets. What do you do with people who lack an actual soul? Who are empty hollow shells of people? They have no place in society, they're only harmful monsters with absolutely nothing of value to contribute to this world.

>>32379051
I kinda figured, thus I asked, I'll keep calling it out. Thanks anon. You gotta wonder if these people are strangling kittens in their backyard, they're so very unhinged is scary.

>>32379058
>What do you do with people who lack an actual soul? Who are empty hollow shells of people?
Most people are not natural born sociopaths. Most people are just traumatized and reenact that trauma on others because that's how they've been taught to engage with the world. Take a young child and beat him, abandon him, tell him he's worthless and show him no love and he'll grow up to be a monster. Its all he knows. With enough abuse its possible to drain all of the love and goodness out of a person. People are largely products of their environment, anon. I think the vast majority of people here fall under that category.

>>32379066
Well, I know that's their excuse anyway. I was tortured, raped multiple times, in cults, tormented, stalked, beat, etc etc. but I still have empathy for people. I had to learn NOT to have empathy for the terrible people (there was a pattern of giving these people chances which I now understand was a terrible mistake). These people all themselves autist but they aren't autists, they're psychopaths. They have no empathy for anyone else... I don't believe they are fully human being. They lack the essential core of what being a human is (ie nothing separates them from a wild predator in the jungle). Sociopaths are made and many here think relate to the movie the Joker because they only feel sorry for themselves, they don't understand that other people have gone through hell too. They don't care because they are selfish beings. I get that some people have never known ANY love but that is extremely rare. There is usually someone caring in their life that they can model themselves upon.

>>32379066
Oh and some observations on psychopaths and sociopaths I've talked to...

They all feel entitled to respect and attention even after they had done and said the most horrific things to anyone. I know a psychopath who told a woman, near death, that it was her fault for getting cancer. When other people were horrified, he didn't see a problem with it and got angry that everyone was angry at him. The sociopath I knew lit someone on fire, then got his brother in the police force in Sedona, to make sure he walked free. He laughed about it. Same guy would post revenge porn online. Then when he was called out, he was suddenly an advocate of complete acceptance of other people because he didn't want to be judged. He DEMANDED my attention too. No, I don't HAVE to like people like that. I don't HAVE TO care about people like that. They don't deserve anything in life.

pussy smells so fucking good

>>32375050
Come get some new york city bitch

>>32379107
>Well, I know that's their excuse anyway. I was tortured, raped multiple times, in cults, tormented, stalked, beat, etc etc. but I still have empathy for people.
Its not an excuse its just how the human brain works. I'm by no means implying that people shouldn't be held accountable for their actions but

>They have no empathy for anyone else... I don't believe they are fully human being.
Sure its fine you think that but if that's the framing you're using then my point remains - people can have the humanity beaten out of them. Most people aren't born emotionally detached from humanity. They are taught.

>They lack the essential core of what being a human is (ie nothing separates them from a wild predator in the jungle)
Nah. There is no core. If we went back in time and instead of being born to your family I put you in a basement with no food and beat the shit out of you daily you would be a monster. You wouldn't be you - you'd be a completely different person with a completely different brain chemistry. A "essential core" implies that there's some sort of innate quality of goodness that some people have and some people don't. For 99% of people that's just not true.

>There is usually someone caring in their life that they can model themselves upon.
Sure, but that's just not how humans really work. A small child doesn't rationalize to themselves "Well, my parents beat me and treat me like shit but my 4th grade teacher is a good person so I should model myself off of that". That's just not how it works. If a child sees that mom and dad, the people they love and rely on the most, yell and scream at each other then they grow up thinking people who love each other yell and scream. There is no essential moral core that people just are born knowing what's right and wrong.

>>32379160
Sure, I appreciate your personal experience but a) I think you're throwing around the term psychopath and sociopath around rather loosely and b) none of this really addresses the point. People who treat others like shit should be scorned, punished and removed from society. I agree. That being said, most bad people are made that way. You can largely predict how people are going to behave based on their childhood and early development. The idea that there's some essential core of goodness that people either have or don't is just not how the human mind works.

>>32379184
The whys don't matter. If someone is gonna kill and rape and steal and say "oh well I was oppressed/disadvantaged/poor/abused" or perhaps nothing at all then they should be put into a large blender or industrial lathe,

>>32379191
Genetics also provably play a part in the behavior of an organism. To deny this is to deny science. Organisms can have in-built tendencies towards certain behaviors or patterns of behaviors, some of which are what one person would consider "morally evil." (Like ducks evolving a rape-like behavior) Whether that moral evil is objectively real or not is completely meaningless.

What is meaningful is that genetics play a part in behavior, the extent to which it does relative to environmental factors is NOT important, what is important is that it an individual can genetically have an inclination towards behavior that is "good" or "bad" in relation to a given system of ethics or morals. Again, it does not matter if those morals are objective, or if enough environmental influences are projected onto an individual to negate the genetic ones.

If someone needs to receive $2000 per month, lessons on not raping brutalizing members of the same species, etc, in order to not rape and kill, someone can safely describe them as evil without being unreasonable.
There are many millions that grow up abused in crime, in poverty, in oppression, that do not turn into rapists and murderers. It's a complete insult to all those that have had empathy and hearts to attribute being a piece of shit to being poor or abused. It's something a privileged first worlder would say- someone who's closest encounter with evil was a drunk self-hating dad that slapped them around.

I can't help but to chime in on all of this.

>>32379058
Having your name field filled in inherently puts you above the rest of us. Are you not aware of that? You're telling everyone that you're more important, that what you have to say is important enough that its source ought to be remembered from thread to thread. Now I've been on 4chan since 2004 and from my experience there's no better indicator for psychopathology on 4chan than the name field. I haven't met one person who regularly fills in their name field who wasn't a boat load of trouble.

As for your heightened empathy for human beings: As someone with an exceptional level of active empathy, I can tell immediately that your active empathy is nearly zero. Your empathic receptors are clearly blocked with a fair deal of narcissistic affect, that much I have no doubt. Now whether that arose from birth or from trauma, I don't know; but the result is still the same. Furthermore, the way you talk about empathy indicates to me that you have absolutely no understanding of it at all.

It's also clear from your behavior that you lack empathic capacity, for you tear down people at the first cross word they utter. Your vicious to people, you immediately project psychopathological conditions upon them with but one post as evidence. That's ridiculous and completely antithetical to empathic behavior. These actions alone are enough to tell me that your empathic receptors are not receiving, not even slightly.

And that's no surprise, for every person who fills out their name field wears a mask, and your mask is very well fit lady. But a mask isn't conducive to empathic flow, and as a result, your empathic capacity has become all but completely occluded.

>>32379256
(quick phonepost so the syntax is bizarre and it has several errors.)

>>32379202
>The whys don't matter. If someone is gonna kill and rape and steal and say "oh well I was oppressed/disadvantaged/poor/abused" or perhaps nothing at all then they should be put into a large blender or industrial lathe,
Well, firstly, the whys absolutely do matter. Understanding how people turn out horrible is probably pretty important when it comes to society. Ultimately I don't disagree. I said probably three times that nothing I was saying is an excuse for any behavior. People who commit crimes and hurt others should be removed from society. I never said anything different.

>>32379256
>Genetics also provably play a part in the behavior of an organism. To deny this is to deny science. Organisms can have in-built tendencies towards certain behaviors or patterns of behaviors, some of which are what one person would consider "morally evil."
The issue is you're touching on a subject that not even top scientists in their field have found answers to. There is no settled science on nature vs. nurture. You're also introducing terms like "morally evil" which science has nothing to do with. Science doesn't answer questions of morality.

The nature vs. nurture debate is as old as the existence of man and discerning which things are innate to human nature vs. which things are learned, especially poly-genetic traits like intelligence, is not settled at all. The problem is that genes do not express themselves in a vacuum. That always have and will be impacted by their environment. To what extent, its extremely difficult to tell.

>>32379256
>What is meaningful is that genetics play a part in behavior, the extent to which it does relative to environmental factors is NOT important
Well that's just silly. Of course the environmental factors matter. Finding out what environmental factors cause what behaviors is integral to raising people to be productive members of society.

>what is important is that it an individual can genetically have an inclination towards behavior that is "good" or "bad" in relation to a given system of ethics or morals
The thing you're describing is scientifically impossible. There have not been any "morally good genes" identified and even if they had there's no such thing as "morally good genes" expressing themselves in a vacuum. Environment has and always will be a factor. Science doesn't deal in issues of morality, anon. You're using a lot of words but your logic is gobbledy gook.

>There are many millions that grow up abused in crime, in poverty, in oppression, that do not turn into rapists and murderers. It's a complete insult to all those that have had empathy and hearts to attribute being a piece of shit to being poor or abused.
You're morally loading my statements with normative baggage that has nothing to do with what I'm saying. The statistics and science don't lie, anon. There is a tried and true formula to creating a person with anti-social tendencies. The survivorship bias of people who beat the odds has nothing to do with the data. Describing how abusers are made is not an insult to anybody. Its just fact. You are mixing your personal feelings with the reality of behavioral science.

>>32375050
Hey cum guzzler

>>32379191
People who treat others like shit should be scorned, punished and removed from society? Excuse me sir, but there are quite a number of people out there who ought to be treated be like shit. But let's say we all played by these rules: who then gets to decide who gets removed from society? I suppose it would come down to who has the most power. And guess who that would be: the shittiest people.

>>32379296
Being a productive member of society is no indicator of health.

>>32379279
>Well, firstly, the whys absolutely do matter.
Not on the individual level. If a criminal is on the stand, and we must find out if they are two be punished, the why's of him raping a child don't matter.

>The issue is you're touching on a subject that not even top scientists in their field have found answers to.
I'm not saying I have an answer, but it is enough to be able to reasonably say an individual person CAN be evil.

>You're also introducing terms like "morally evil" which science has nothing to do with.
Yes, which is using science for its intended purpose. Social sciences have no purpose if not utilized for some value, like GDP if you are a retard or "human right" or "ethical policy" etc.
>Science doesn't answer questions of morality.
Of course. But science is a tool to justify what you believe is an ethical decision, and you argue on a subject that "not even top scientists in their field have found answers to" no less than anyone else.

>The problem is that genes do not express themselves in a vacuum. That always have and will be impacted by their environment. To what extent, its extremely difficult to tell.
And there is no reason not to be able to say, accurately, "this or that person is evil." Evil, again, being whatever you want it to be as long as it is tied to a certain measurable variable. (In this case, criminal behaviors)

But yes, you or I can dig up piles of text on nature and nurture
>Never would a bad son have sprung from a good sire, for he would have heard the voice of instruction; but not by teaching will you ever make a bad man into a good one.'
And so on.

>>32379296
You are much less intelligent than you think you are. This is easily demonstrated in your repeated failure to understand this
>Whether that moral evil is objectively real or not is completely meaningless.
That being, a genetic inclination to a pattern of behavior (I.e., the heritability of mental illness) can be considered subjectively by an individual (e.g., Kat)

>>32379296
(Continuing)
That being, a genetic inclination to a pattern of behavior (I.e., the heritability of mental illness) can be considered subjectively by an individual (e.g., Kat) to be evil, and that means an individual can be considered ESSENTIALLY
>1. Constituting or being part of the nature or essence of something; inherent.
evil. That being, whatever genetic components contribute to the behavior considered by X individual (e.g., Kat) to be "evil."

The rest of your post is a culmination of your University of Reddit Top Comment tier education.

I guess no one's in the fighting spirit tonight, oh well.
You'd all rather bicker and banter over minutiae.

>>32379302
Fuck you, you piece of shit.

>>32379349
Fight!

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12 KB PNG

A part of me is tired, yet another sees lives I want to live. None of them are possible. It's one thing when it's a job you never really wanted, something you actually care about is another. What's the point when no one cares? Why do I keep trying when nothing's ever good enough? It's like my brain snapped into place too late. I wasted years working for something I never wanted, watching the world pass me by, now I can only look back and see what I should've done.

>>32379349
Want you to really worship my cock

>>32379324
>Not on the individual level. If a criminal is on the stand, and we must find out if they are two be punished, the why's of him raping a child don't matter.
You're confusing two separate concepts - what causes people to engage in certain behaviors and what should be done on a societal level if someone engages in certain behaviors. Two separate conversations.

>I'm not saying I have an answer, but it is enough to be able to reasonably say an individual person CAN be evil.
You can say that but it has nothing to do with science. Science doesn't answer questions of morality.

>Of course. But science is a tool to justify what you believe is an ethical decision
Its not. To "justify" something is to validate its truth. Science doesn't validate the truth of ethics.

>And there is no reason not to be able to say, accurately, "this or that person is evil." Evil, again, being whatever you want it to be as long as it is tied to a certain measurable variable
Sure, but it has nothing to do with genetics. You're using inaccurate statements about genetic science to justify an ethical position that has no rooting in objective truth.

>But yes, you or I can dig up piles of text on nature and nurture
Correct, and you wont find one pile of text from any reputable source that says science has identified "evil" genes.

>You are much less intelligent than you think you are. This is easily demonstrated in your repeated failure to understand this
>Whether that moral evil is objectively real or not is completely meaningless.
Its not my failure to understand, the statement just doesn't make any sense. Depending on whether you're a moral anti-realist or rule utilitarian every term could mean different things. You're just not that familiar with the study of ethics, which is fine, its just weird that you're pretending like you are.

Don't you see how hard I've been fucking with you, for so long? Christ, just kill yourself already.

>>32379357
sociopathic behaviour

>>32379324
>That being, a genetic inclination to a pattern of behavior (I.e., the heritability of mental illness) can be considered subjectively by an individual (e.g., Kat)
No, it can't. I don't have the time or inclination to explain why, honestly. Long story short, there is no subjective analysis of genetic inclination to a pattern of behavior and even if there was there's no way scientifically to analyze genes outside the context of an environment. You can say something is evil if you want but it has nothing to do with genetics. I don't know why you'd even bother bringing up the science of genetics in a conversation about the subjective perception of evil. The two have absolutely nothing to do with one another.

>>32379339
>evil. That being, whatever genetic components contribute to the behavior considered by X individual (e.g., Kat) to be "evil."
Yeah, you just aren't making any sense. You don't know anything about genetics or ethics. I could explain the basics of poly-genetic traits and how environmental alter the way the neurons form and the traits are expressed but you don't have any of the prerequisite knowledge of the topic to even understand it. You're mixing up and muddling a bunch of concepts you don't understand to justify a normative position you feel strongly about.

>The rest of your post is a culmination of your University of Reddit Top Comment tier education.
Its not you being wrong that is the issue its just how confident you are in talking about an issue you clearly know nothing about.

>>32379367
Neither of you have any idea what you're talking about. That much I can say for sure.

Almost bought 5lbs of gummy bears on Amazon
Crazy
I had to remove it from my cart twice
Damn they would've been so good
Damn them

>>32379368
If you can't articulate why anything I've said is wrong then your opinion is discarded.

>>32379357
Or maybe you're simply overestimating your fucking ability. Clearly they're not phased by it.

>>32379371
You're both being a little too articulate, so much so that you've both lost yourselves in a haze of articulation.
And I took a shot at each one of you, but you both would rather scatter grains of sand on the ground to see which one of them is more righteous than the other.

>happiness or suffering
happiness
>shared happiness or shared suffering
shared suffering

why am i like this?

>>32379369
Lmao, damn. Close one.

>>32379260
Of course you want to chime in on this because it's really about you, a mentally disturbed person (likely a sociopath), and you absolutely HATE that people know that.

>Having your name field filled in inherently puts you above the rest of us. Are you not aware of that? You're telling everyone that you're more important,

This is clearly a YOU problem. You are incredibly insecure, and bitter. How would you know why I write my name here? Do you think you know me? Do you think you can read minds into why people do what they do?

>As for your heightened empathy for human beings: As someone with an exceptional level of active empathy

LMFAOOOO, you have absolutely NO empathy, you're a psychopath or sociopath and not only that you are completely blind to what you just wrote.

>It's also clear from your behavior that you lack empathic capacity, for you tear down people at the first cross word they utter.

Nah, you just freaked our in all caps because you hate people that have a name here. It's because you're extremely unwell and have been here since 2004. You're clearly very invested in this site and this thread.

My psychiatrist told me I was HSP and also empathetic. Everyone I know, knows I'm an empath but YOU think you're empathetic and I'm not? You the person freaking out in CAPS, having a baby tantrum about people posting here? Don't post here if you can't handle it. You're fucking ridiculous and pathetic. You get treated the way you treat other people. I know you feel entitled to LASH OUT IN CAPS because you're anonymous, hiding behind a screen, you think it's 100% acceptable to behave the way you do. You don't like that you can't control me and others who post here.

I have nothing to hide, as you do. You probably write 100+ posts here a day and make this your personal blog but no one can see and you hide. If you've been here from 2004, you have pathetically lived in a psychopathic echo chamber for 20 years. 20 fucking years.

my death drive is especially high this season.
it seems my trance-like inclinations towards utterly destructive and ruinous behavior is fatally getting out of control.
dangerous thoughts ceaselessly assail me and i can't keep them at bay for much longer.
this may seriously be the final straw before i do something of which i'll spend the rest of my life regretting.

>>32379361
>>32379375

Exactly. Sociopaths like that feel of control over people, they like to feel their harming someone. In the meantime, people like us are just trying understand how such a person can exist and why they're so unwell (in hopes of identifying it others, steering clear of similar kinds). It's really shocking how evil they are but very funny to see how angry they get when they can't control what other people do and they're just laughed at.

>>32379368
I didn't even read most of the posts. I have this thing that when someone is spouting bullshit, it feel like eternity to read any of it.

>>32379356
>>32379367
You repeatedly misunderstand almost every statement. Here's your first misunderstanding:
>You're confusing two separate concepts - what causes people to engage in certain behaviors and what should be done on a societal level if someone engages in certain behaviors. Two separate conversations.
Where it is obvious that I am saying that the "why's" of a behavior do not need to matter when it comes to making a subjective value judgement.

>science of genetics in a conversation about the subjective perception of evil
Yes, I can assume you'd be confused. You have been that way for every post.
>Sure, I appreciate your personal experience but a) I think you're throwing around the term psychopath and sociopath around rather loosely and b) none of this really addresses the point. People who treat others like shit should be scorned, punished and removed from society. I agree. That being said, most bad people are made that way. You can largely predict how people are going to behave based on their childhood and early development. The idea that there's some essential core of goodness that people either have or don't is just not how the human mind works.
Here is your post which already discusses the topics of essential evil, in which you use an imperative SHOULD or statement of your ethical position (based on what, by the way?)

My post is simply saying that someone c
CAN make a subjective value judgement based on a genetic factor.
>Genetics also provably play a part in the behavior of an organism.
Note that I did not say environmental influences had no effect. Read my whole first post, because you have the reading comprehension of an actual toddler.

>Yeah, you just aren't making any sense. You don't know anything about genetics or ethics.
I give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you slammed your head into a concrete wall a few times and lost your ability to understand simple statements, instead of being wilfully ignorant. (cont)

>>32379397
Well, this a prime example of exactly what I was talking about. Thanks I guess?

Kat, let me make this as simple as possible: You're in relationship with all of us; this isn't a me problem or a you problem, but a pattern of relationship which you have with all of us. You're making yourself distinct, you're setting yourself apart from the rest of us and this distinction shows not just in your name but in your actions. The spirit of 4chan is anonymous communication, and you're being antagonistic to that when you don't clear your name field and join the rest of us, at least from time to time. Now I can get a sense of your feelings for doing so, and why you defend yourself when you're probed about it. But you could also try to understand those who are anonymous, but you don't. Instead you go around beating everyone up. You bully people just like every other namefag/tripfag on 4chan.

You're also projecting upon me the actions of another person. I've only posted in your direction once in this thread. But I don't really care too much about that.

Me? Hiding? I've been doxxed four times on 4chan by four different people in the past 10 years. There are people in this thread who are keeping tabs on me, people who know where I live, my full name, my place of occupation. Trust me when I say I'm not hiding a damn thing woman.

Also, I'd like to add one more thing. Another anon mentioned lovebombing and I want to mention that they were on to something that for you tried to lovebomb me in 2015 after you briefly joined the #NEETadv IRC channel. You found out who held power there and you direct messaged me with the username Kat and started flirting heavily with me. Once you realized I was onto your game you left me alone. So this isn't the first time you and I have run into each other. But you wouldn't know that because my name field has been mostly empty.

But I'm not going to waste further energy reasoning with you when you're clearly unreasonable. I've said my bit.

>>32379367
> I could explain the basics of poly-genetic traits and how environmental alter the way the neurons form and the traits are expressed
This here perfectly illustrates your repeated lack of reading comprehension. I want you to explain why you need to say this if I have already said multiple times, very simply, that it is reasonable to make a subjective judgement about some physical quality.
>A "essential core" implies that there's some sort of innate quality of goodness that some people have and some people don't.
My posts refute the idea that someone cannot make the subjective judgement that someone has or has not an essential "evil." In the most obvious example, judging a psychopath as evil because he is a psychopath. (Moral jusgement based on a physical characteristic, i.e., the neurological condition of the psychopath).
A person can be judged as evil using genetic traits. We don't need to know the exact genes that cause the behaviors we deem bad, we don't need to know the environmental factors required to trigger the gene expression, we don't need to know the way it interests with the person's brain. The value judgement is as valid as your statement that
>People who treat others like shit should be scorned, punished and removed from society.

>>32379416
Are you the same person talking to yourself? Is this what you do all day here? Samefag and try to fuck with people as a mission of life.

I'm not keeping track of who replied to who either. Maybe this whole thread might be you talking to yourself for all I know (and care)

>>32379421
*headpat*

It's bullshit, it's jargon, it's boring, it's unoriginal, it's simple to see through and frankly I don't even read it.

>>32379421
Way to take their fun away.
Protip: you play with it, have some fun with it next time.

>>32379424
*kick to the scrotum* - in demonia boots

>>32379429
Oh yeah, sorry. You can take out your puppets and make them talk to each as you type each role you play.

>>32379432
*is elated to have felt the touch of a woman*

>>32379367
>No, it can't. I don't have the time or inclination to explain why, honestly.
Oh yeah, almost missed addressing this funny one. Please do tell me what the rules are regarding what people are allowed to consider good and bad, Oh Enlightened Redditor.

>>32379418
>You're in relationship with all of us;

Sorry, I'm just not that into you buddy, that's something you're going to have to accept.

tldr the rest of your obvious retarded word vomit.

>>32379438
Did you cum, you fucking pervert freak?

>>32379448
N-no... W-want to try again?

>>32379445
Oh you certainly had eyes for me at one point. I even have the logs of that conversation hidden away somewhere on my old VPS. But I'm not going to shame you with it, it's ancient history and it's going to stay that way.

>>32379452
Conveniently hidden away. In the spirit of truthfulness. I've never liked anyone from this site, never talked to anyone off it (for more than one message) So unfortunately you've got me mixed up with one of your anime characters.

You've really gone full retard here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3zeAGgEiIs

You could've kept this charade-troll-larp going for several more years. Why did you choose to completely unravel it recently? I mean I was connecting more dots but you pretty much fed me the biggest missing link yourself. Do you wish to have some sort of big final last laugh?

hes dying and it freaks me out

jesus just die already

The world should just divide in two.

Also, if you ever wanted peace, you have to give as well. So if Trudeau, or Trump or Biden or whoever you don't like does something good, you should try to acknowledge that, not hate everything that person is about. The immaturity out there is embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for humanity. This is where we're at after all these years?

>>32379499
I feel sad for you if this is how you view people.

I think the most shocking part of this experience for me is how you can be so very filled with pure hatred all the time. How are you even still alive?

You'll forever come from a place of hatred and you'll never see it. I'll make CAPS HATER happy and not come back again. This is where the dead reside. The ones that are burning in hell. .

I'm scared I won't be able to get a relationship right, settle down, and have kids before my parents die. They're late 60s now and it was always really important for me for my children to know them and them to have grandkids.

i love my gf!

i hate him but im still too empathetic to his illness

I hate women.

Hey M
It's been a year. I'm hoping you're doing alright.

im bleeding and i dont want to be

too tired to get out of bed im bleeding in my underwear guys

I love a little UH HUH!

I hate women.

On the outside, I seem like a narcissist.
On the inside, I have OCD and want to avoid people to preserve an image of normalcy. I don't want to ruin my reputation (getting OCD treated right now anyway)

Girl took an interest in the narcissistic version of me and then ghosted me when the OCD version of me emerged

I know she is bad news but I'm currently idealizing her
What if she was a great person and my OCD is the actual problem? But also, what if I avoided the greatest bullet of all time?

I will never know

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>>32378457
That was not me. :)~’

No idea why things changed like this

I love my mom but God damn would it be great to finally off myself and be done with it. I just want to be free.

>>32380032
She's the work thot that flirts with everyone and you should just forget about her

IM SO FUCKING TIRED

Don't see the point in being with someone I don't feel compatible with

The girl I like at work gets sexually harrassed a lot and I don't know what to do. She seems to not mind it, and to like the attention, but I wonder if it really bothers her, and she just doesn't know how to set boundaries.

I've heard some guy say aweful, degrading things to her at the bar the other night, then she just laughed it off, and kept talking to him as he continued to do this. Then she and asked him for a cigarette and a few coworkers all went out to smoke together. I ended up leaving afterwards, and honestly I lost almost all respect for her that night. Idk, should I talk to her, and get her side of the story, or just get over it.

I'm just disappointed because things were going so good. It felt like I was finally gonna get to date someone, then this happens.

I almost feel like I should have stepped in to protect her with some of the things he said to her, but I was honestly afraid, and I didn't think she seemed bothered by it anyways.

When they went out to smoke, something clicked inside me, and I just said, I'm leaving, and want out to my car.

I wonder if she's just desensitized to it at this point. I don't know how to process all this honestly. I have to see her again on Monday, and I don't know what I'm gonna say to her.

I am watching some show about artificial intelligence from 2009 predicting Alien War if/after Joe Rogan interviews Donald Trump, as the trigger event. December 3rd or 4th. The Ayys are coming. Seems like a new spin on the same old end of the world song and dance but I guess it never hurts to have enough ammunition.

I am upset no one has replied to my post yet. I was being genuine.

>>32380110
>im so different why she no take me to fug her
lol have sex incel you are the same you also just care about her bc you want her
but you are just a coward who cant say anything in rl so you rant online anonymously bc in reality youd shit ur pants sooner than opening your mouth
kek t the girl you wrote the story about

>>32380198
Does not sound that way.

>>32379512
>>32379482
>>32379448
>>32379445
>>32379436
>>32379432
>>32379428
>>32379421
>>32379414
>>32379397
NOT YOUR PERSONAL BLOG. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SCHIZO RANTS. NO ONE LIKES YOUR RETARD ADVICE. FUCK OFF, TROON.

>>32378944
Stop projecting faggot. This is an anonymous board so the only people "seeking attention" are the losers that went out of their way to give themselves a name. Is your life that fucking grim that you have to come to this shithole of a board to seek attention? I'm going to let you in on a little secret, 99% of the posts on this board are pure satire, because 99% of the posts on this board (and thread) are made by me thanks to the ai I created. How long have you been posting here? Wasting every single day of your sad and pathetic life talking to people that aren't even there, trying to give actually advice to people who don't exist (LMAO)... that's peak levels of pathetic right there. One last thing before my shit is over, you will never be a mental health professional, you are too fucking stupid. Stay small, bird brain. And remember, I'M EVERYWHERE.

I hate interviews and talking to people in general

>>32380457
I beelive in you

How do you get over a breakup?
We broke up 3 months ago, she moved on after 1 month, I've tried reaching out and asking for her back she said no and never contact her again.

I am in so much pain, therapy isn't working. I just want her back.

>>32380503
What happened? How old are you both? Do you believe she manipulated you?

Dating apps are beginning to feel like a chore. I am 41 and not ready to give up but I fear it's too late to find someone. I just want a girlfriend.

>>32380564
I'm 30 she's 32. She said a joke about a recently dead family member and it made me hate her. we where no contact for 4 weeks.

>>32380607
Keep trying broski, get thinner maybe that wil lhelp

You have to be mentally ill to like your parents as people
Like yeah you should love them, but to love cringe boomers or cringe xoomers or fucking Star Wars loving millennials as your friends is legit insane. It’s only natural for the younger generations to hate the previous ones, you have no obligation to try to connect to your parents in a casual friendly way. It’s weird and autistic.

>>32380674
I'm already pretty thin. I lost 25lbs last year after I quit drinking alcohol. I only weigh 140lbs. I'm just brutally average looking and I live in a town with just bars to go to on the weekend which is not a good place for me.

>>32380679
Guess I'm weird and autistic then, but also happy.

my happiness would increase by 30% if i have hbo max/hulu/ disney bundle

>>32380401
You're far more of an attention seeker than any trip or name that I've encountered in 20 years on 4chan. While your name field may be empty, you have all the same qualities of the most pathological trips/names that I have encountered. Anonymity doesn't make you the good guy. The Chinese have a saying that 'when the wrong man uses the right means the right means work in the wrong way'. And that's exactly what you're doing by wielding anonymity to dominate and shame others who want to genuinely interact here. And this makes you far worse than anyone who fills out their name field.

Peak levels of pathetic is doing exactly what you're doing: suffocating the life out of the only reasonable board on this entire website. And you've done this for how long? But I'll say this: at least you finally had the balls to come clean with it. But it's time that it stops: the health of this board depends on you stopping. What you're doing is a great disservice to everyone here by flooding it with with your low-quality posts, your bait threads, your endless repetition of forced memes and your nonsense that has no playful spirit to it. You're completely antagonistic to the spirit of /adv/.

But it doesn't stop there, you're also a predator who tries to entrap and humiliate others as you deliberately fuck with people to harm them. Noticing this two years ago, I decided to walk into your traps to see what you had in store for someone if they were to take the bait. Your AI girl voice that you used to post vocaroos with: That could have really hurt someone if it wasn't me who walked into it. Someone even doxxed me to you because of it, and you proudly displayed your personal knowledge of me here within this thread.

But thank you for your confession. I hope this is the first step in getting you removed from this board indefinitely.

>>32380349
Get help psychopath, nobody cares about baby tantrums or how gay you are. Nobody cares that you've been here since 2004 (imagine being that much of a loser lol)... the only thing you have to take pride in in life, my God. There is a good reason that no one likes you, that all your friendships are one-sided. I bet your parents even hate you. Rope.

>>32380401
>Wasting every single day of your sad and pathetic life

100% projection. If you think I come here every single day, as you do, you've got more issues than I first thought. Delusional.

The saddest part of your entire rant is you aren't even original, you aren't creative. Saying 99% of the posts are you is basically what I already accused you of, stupid. You're here every day, 20 years now, right? I do hope you get paid... what a colossal waste of time otherwise. I'm not planning on being a mental health professional, take your meds "bird brain".

>>32380753
Thank you anon, jfc what a psycho that person is, I know who you are talking about here: "Your AI girl voice"

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Women are my weakness
And they've been the ones treating me badly for a lot of my life for whatever reason. I'm not even ugly

Ever since I started lifting my life has been a whole lot better. Never lose the will to fight and live bravely in spite of whatever this dogshit world has done to you

i wish i could have lived in delusion forever

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I have a new job and it's pretty good but the hours are long.

I am coming out of a bad dream and some nice memories rising to the surface, this might be due to exercise. Starting on the first of the year I will meditate constantly and every action will be like restful action. Total control of the mind and body, mental states and sense impressions. The body should never feel awkward and the mind should never feel vexed over anything. The abstract goal is difficult to convey.

The ordinary person gets emotionally involved, frustrated, reacts a lot, gets tired after hours of working, studying or social activity. I think it's theoretically possible to do everything in such a way that is more perfect and seamless than myself and others appear agree with.

During this period of one year I will also decide to read 100 books. I will also attempt to write my own book and learn some music theory. I will use a planner, which I will use and review daily to ensure that my goals are being met.

I formally started this idea or phase in the beginning of September. Some ideas have been developed on paper and I plan on compromising as little as possible on the original goal of learning a couple of languages while doing all of this. I am easing myself into taking up of these confluent behaviors and attitudes.

There's not much else to say. I think I should express that this isn't some unusual austere commitment to a specific set of ideas that gets in the way of the flow of things. Everything should be like a continuous flow state.

That said. Everyone enjoy the holidays and have a happy new year.

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>>32375050
I'm so alone its killing me, I just wanted a girlfriend to shower with affection. I just want to hold hands and hug someone. People say I'm good looking, I know I'm good looking, yet I fail constantly to connect with people. Must've been to a dozen dates over the past few months, all went no where. What the fuck is wrong with me? I am so alone, I cant deal with this anymore, I even asked God for help. Please someone save me.

Flat earthers are so fucking dumb and they try so hard to center themselves in the american maga group, I hate them

i hope he has a psychotic break again and kills us all kek

>>32381039
It's really easy to do, isn't it? I had it built up in my head that I couldn't do it but I do love it now and it's really easy... and no matter what else you do, you feel accomplished that day. I use mostly machines and I'm up to 200 lbs on the leg press, 80 & 60 on quad and hams. hip about 150. Pecs about 60, abs 150. 60 triceps, biceps are pathetic though, about 20 lol. I guess women are stronger in the legs than arms. Anyway, if I can do it anyone can.

>>32381085
A lot of American Christians seem to be attracted to the flat earth stupidity. I'm not sure why they all deny science, Christianity and science can co-exist (just not for fundamentalists, I suppose). We're back pre-Galileo times, it seems. We've learned nothing as a collective whole.

Go outside. And do some fun/illegal shit. Blow stuff up.

>>32375050
I'm here at big daddy's pizza

>>32381217
>>32381085
My flat earther friend's mom is dying at 85 and my faggot friend made a mess in the hospital fighting with doctors and shit about the dosages of the antibiotics his mom have to take and he changed 3 fucking hospitals and he is calling me non-stop to tell me what is going on and the fights he did while screaming stuff about God and quoting the bible. He will fucking call me 3 times a day. I gave him a ride to the hospital and helped his mother go inside the house with the wheelchair cause he doesn't life. I understand he is having a mania phase but what the fuck do i do? This shit is stressfull as fuck i just wanna chill the f out

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I think the worst part of being ghosted is how it turns you into an internet stalker, looking all over the net for your missing fren.

>>32381376
don't ask me. I cold cut contact with a friend like that years ago. I am heartless.

>>32381381
>don't wanna be annoyed by a schizo
>heartless
Nah, you're just filtering out the spam

>>32381382
he helped me in some hard times and he is highly invested in our friendship while i don't give a fuck, yes I learned today that he is schizo as fuck and kinda dangerous to be around although he is calm whenever he is with my although we had lots of arguments in the past.

Should i just ghost him right now when his mother is about to die? I mean i understand his mom is dying but that's over the limit, he told me he was sccreaming in front of 200 people in the hospital about Jesus

>>32381388
Beats me man. I'm usually the guy trying to desperately keep the friendship's flame alive even as it sputters out, and while I don't know what DOES keep a friendship going, I know what DOESN'T - and resentment and obligation sure as shit don't prolong or enhance comradery.

All I'll say is that friends that are around for you in the hard times are very different from friends around for you in the easy times.

>>32381396
>All I'll say is that friends that are around for you in the hard times are very different from friends around for you in the easy times.

The thing is that guy will surely help me if i'm in deep hard times but he intense as fuck and you can't even reason with him, before his mother incident we fighted over phone and we didn't talk for a week but when shit hit the fan with his mom he called me for help but i can't find myself helping people easily because i suffer from some low key depression.

>>32381396
>I'm usually the guy trying to desperately keep the friendship's flame alive even as it sputters out, and while I don't know what DOES keep a friendship going,
Why are you trying so hard? What do you want to gain with friendship anyway? Just find a wife and start a family

>>32381085
>>32381217
Many are the gullible type, egged on by the CIA in order to categorise all things outside the official narrative as crazy or stupid. Same thing with alien guys, putting a stupid target on their back. Useful idiots.
>>32381376
That sucks. Most flat earthers I know are people who pretend to be smart and end up in quality or management. They say myself when they should say me.

>>32380110
Most of what you're conditioned to believe is sexual harassment really isn't. Banter between guys can get really rough but we're not serious about it.

You're in a bar where people go to socialize and probably score, probably very few of the men really see her how you imagine they do, they just pick up on social cues and body language better and are more forward and honest about what they want from their experience at the bar.

She's not so much desensitized as mature enough to realize that the men there don't really see her as an object, and that there's not really any threat to her self or dignity.

>>32375050
>want an ffm so bad it is insane
>has been the case since I was 12 or so
>been with my wife since I was 17
>she has told me it will never happen
>literally has told me she'd rather I die in a horrific way than give me one
>i would rather die in a horrific way than lose her
>I am completely unwilling to ever cheat on her or do anything behind her back
>just been trying to repress it all this time
>it sucks
Sucks to suck. Sometimes beating or otherwise hurting myself can help push the thoughts away, but I really wish I could just make it all go away

>>32375050
A long time ago, my brother fondled the maid. I told my parents about it, and she was fired. I don't know what to do about it, justice was never served. He now has a wife and children, anything I say or do might ruin his life. I hate him for it.

I hate women.

>>32381734
I love women.

>>32381776
Fuck you, contrarian.

I once got into an argument with my ex because I made a joke about her getting stuck in customs because she's mexican. Like "lol, I bet they think you're going to be smuggling drugs or something." and she got upset and called me racist. It's like, what? I said that TSA were racist, not that I would personally pull over a mexican.

She had BPD and wanted to argue about everything though. I once asked if she got reimbursed for moving expenses by her company and this set her off for some reason. She went on about how I thought she was poor or some shit when all I asked is if they helped pay for her move. I think she was just looking for shit to argue over so that I would be the one to break up with her so she wouldn't have the guilt over it. Like she was deliberately being shitty for me to dump her.

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i have successfully painted
¤ walking on the moon

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>>32381847
I had a dream last night about my ex from 10 years ago, checked my facebook and she messaged me. She wants me to come visit her, sent me a cheesy song too.
The thing is I'm like inches from rock bottom in a kratom addiction. I got myself together enough recently and started lowing my dosage. I look like a fucking ghoul compared to when I was hot 10 years ago lol.

Fuck. Idk man. This is giving me the drive to just go cold turkey starting right now. She's still so cute, doesn't deserve to be with the likes of me. But I do want to get myself together just to see her and give her a hug and tell her I've got her back if she's ever in trouble.

I need you guys to say a prayer for me, that it's not too late for me to get my shit together and be of use to someone again.
I hope you guys are doing okay. Keep going, and don't delete that facebook quite yet.

I'm so lonely and isolated that I often feel detached from reality and retreat into my own mind. I desperately want good company, but I feel too complacent and shy, and frankly, dysfunctional to seek people out. And truthfully, I'm a boring person. I often think about self-harming again. Being able to externalize my pain in that way makes me feel validated, strangely enough, besides the catharsis I feel. I don't know if I want to keep going to therapy. I feel little will to really put in the steps to change myself for better, and I don't even know what positive change means for me. I can't conceptualize a future for myself that isn't a slow spiral into suicide.

>>32381876
gorguts■ is soundchecking with noise groove ballistics

\ Bo Burnham
was hydraulic crushed in hreev.

ok good i have totally won this game that i was playing for over 24 years now. i am now asking for more segregation based off of number sequences using the most obscure numbers that actually exist.

I wish I could go back 5 years in time before I felt love for the first time and just be happy jacking off, playing games, and hanging with friends. Ever since I got used by someone that I thought liked me I've been plagued with wanting to feel love ever since to the point I'm on anti anxiety medication.

I just want to stop caring

That cannot handle Le Water Bowl or sound playing

I'm no longer sure it is OCD I have. I do have OCD, but it is not what troubles me Today (as opposed to four days ago). Now, my issue is my lack of mental clarity and focus.
I still have the rituals, but I am not as exciting about seeing my psychiatrist next week. I'm afraid I'm going to lose her interest, because she looked forward to helping me out so much and now my attention is somewhere else completely. I'm so sad beforehand because I know I will let her down.

What do?

>>32381928
Yep. Love is a drug and once you get a taste of it, it will change you forever. If you confront it and conquer it though, you can get rid of this need again. I did. But I still think about her from time to time, idealizing her despite poor behavior.

>>32375050
I should kill myself

>>32381974
>If you confront it and conquer it though, you can get rid of this need again.
how

>>32382020
You miss her, deep inside, right? You're hoping to fill the void. When did you start miss her? At what crescendo?

>>32382015
You should fight!

>>32382015
I cured my limerence. I'm here for the first time in weeks for something unrelated.

>>32382033
Oh god no, a horrible person. This was years ago and I long since forgot about the person that started all this. Really it was just my awakening of "wow, there's more out there than just pointless sex for no reason" and I've wanted that feeling ever since.

I just can't find anyone.

That has to redact any Fake Music News Articles

>>32382041
Do you have a thread I should shit up?

>>32382042
>I just can't find anyone.
My point is, you are comparing them to someone. If it was not her, then who is it?

>>32382052
No. I could help you right here. It is not difficult. It's only a matter of how tired you are of feeling that way, and whether you want to follow the feeling (and stay in it) or rid yourself of it at any cost (ie. desperate).

>>32382057
I'm not comparing anyone to anyone. Maybe I wasn't clear in my original post
5 years ago: didn't care about dating or love, just bro shit and random hook ups
met someone (at a con of all places) thought they had a romantic interest in me, rolled with it, turned out eventually that they just wanted sex nothing more
this left an eternal desire to want to feel what I felt back then again, but for real, not being used. I want that feeling, the person itself doesn't matter.

I've tried to find love since but I never find anyone that's my type or the few that I find are already taken

I keep thinking that someday soon my sanity will break. There are actual crazies in my family and I'm afraid I'm going to turn into one of them soon.

>>32382068
Yes anon. You were clear but my question is not penetrating. I can't be verbose because you need to come to the realization on your own, otherwise it won't stick.

>I've tried to find love since but I never find anyone that's my type or the few that I find are already taken
When I say you compare them to the person, I don't mean physically, I mean emotionally. You are comparing future prospects to the love you "felt" at the con. The truth is, and you might actually know it, the love you felt was of your own making. You admit it wasn't the person. It was the afntasy you concocted in your head. You are now comparing future love to the fantasy you have in your head. You miss the emotional connection you felt back then. You miss "her" or the idea of her and you are not over her.

The moment you get over her you'll return to brosex and the growth into genuine love that you might feel will come through that, not through her.

Until you experience this, you will never get over this feeling.

And you can experience this. But first, the fact of the situation needs to penetrate, otherwise it's pointless.

>>32382015
I swiped your (You).
>>32382063
>>32382041

ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ชี้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่ัััััั่่่ััััั่ั่ั่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่่่ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ชี้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่ัััััั่่่ััััั่ั่ั่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่่่ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

>>32382113
ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ชี้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่ัััััั่่่ััััั่ั่ั่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่่่ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ชี้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่ัััััั่่่ััััั่ั่ั่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่่่ก้้้้้้้

>>32382123
้้้้้้้ก่่่่่่่่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่ัััััััั่่่่ั่ั่ััััั่่่ัััััั่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้ีช้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก่่่่่่่่่่่ัััััััั่่่่่่่่่ัััััััั่่่่ั่ั่ััััั่่่ัััััั่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้่้ีช้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ก

>>32382102
What does that mean in non zoomer language?

Ever want to talk to someone, anyone, but don't know what to say and can't make a basic conversation?
Also feeling like I wasted 4 years of my life accomplishing nothing, but at the same time if I wanted to start today I wouldn't know what I want

There's obviously probably a lot of shit I don't know and many different things that could lead to such an outcome but I just want to say sorry if any of my actions or behavior have any hand in it. That maybe is putting a lot of power on me that I actually don't have or placing a great importance on myself that might be far from factual but if it were true in any way I'd want to apologize.

>>32382130
I butted in and am not the guy that you were talking to in the first place.

>>32382260
>I'd want to apologize.
I don’t think that you’re actually sorry.

>>32382090
What I felt was pretty much the normal thing that anyone would want to feel from a partner? affection and care and compassion. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was just my first exposure to it

>>32382371
I would like to believe that I am actually sorry and that I recognize that the more tumultuous parts of the year that I've had have been a drag for everyone involved. I don't know who you are or why you have reason to say this to me, but I in some ways appreciate your challenge to question my own motives and feelings.

>>32382383
At the end of the day, I would love all of my idiocy to at least not reach anyone in any ways too personal if they have nothing personally to do with my life, but I don't have any control over that or what any of this really odd and overall absurd situation means to anyone or how it affects anyone. I have no control over to what degree any certain action I take receives attention and in turn affects others by reception.

I fucking hate you.

Heater stopped working, probably due to running out of oil, everybody is screaming at each other

I'm a huge nerd in the body of a model and I don't know what to do with myself. I want everything and nothing all at once.

>>32382456
This "dissonance" is completely normal these days.

I think it's the flame sensor. No idea how to check it, and if I did I would be screamed at. Not really sure what to do.

It's a red blinking light. Holding down has the burner and flame sensors pop up as yellow. It has the oil access. It just starts then stops

>>32382459
How so? Is it social media ruining our expectations for human interaction? Lack of values? Capitalism?

I don't think it's going to be solved tonight, at least not going to be able to go further with it. I have multiple blankets and more, so I shouldn't be cold. The pipes freezing would be a problem if that did happen

I wish that furry girls (XX chromosomes) weren't so rare

I got yelled at for trying to bleed the heater since the last person who did stuff made some sort of weird configuration. So can't do anything with it myself.

I wish that furry men that weren't poly or just out for dick weren't so rare

I'm so fucking angry at myself for spoiling my favorite series for myself because I took way too long to start reading the manga. I'm so fucking retarded and I don't know how I can cope with this. There will never be another series like this and I blew my chance because I'm so fucking dumb

Might as well do certain things tonight instead of tomorrow

One thing that irks me about my warehouse workplace is that product that is no longer relevant is apparently just thrown in the trash. This is common practice in a lot of places and different industries, of course. For instance, when I worked at McDonald's, nightly waste was expressly thrown away and in no way was donated or given to employees at the end of the night, as even the possibility of such a thing could be possible incentive to make more product at the end of the night, cutting into the overhead.

>>32382683
Housed dumpsters, of course.

>>32382615
I've been friends with a few who seemed well adjusted and fine to be around, but I don't know if that carried over to romance. They generally expressed having other interests than just furfag shit, if they're into some autist hobby like trains or shortwave radio then that's a good sign. Good luck anon.

Hopefully it's not an expensive fix.

>>32382715
thanks..

>>32382769
I can't tell if you're a woman (if you are hi, wish we could connect somehow) or gay man, but either way I feel your struggle... so many depraved furfags out there.

>>32382804
nta wholesome furries are truly a under-regarded blessing

It's weird. I just stuck around despite all the trauma you inflicted, I really couldn't believe, couldn't conceive/fathom what a horrible person you were but now, now that I've accepted that there is no hope for you, I'm happier. I don't feel I need to help you or save you. I know that you're beyond help and that you're miserable and will die alone. I used to care, I used to madly try to find a way to get through to you but now I know you'll become a better person. Now I know you're just not worth it the pain. No one is. That's it. No more of your abuse, your illness in my life. I've strangled out my empathetic urges to love and care for someone that isn't even fully human.

Hope you like it

I guess I'm just sad that I failed on this mission to help you. I hate that there is this core in me, this element that wants to help people that are irredeemable. I definitely need to focus on people that are actually worth the time and energy.

>>32382749
I hate cars so much

I believe in the collective humanity in people and I know you don't. I believe that GOOD people will win and eventually call you out and humiliate you for what you've done. Good will triumph over evil.

I believe, I have faith that Goodness, God will prevail. Everything that you are is oppositional to God and Goodness, what would that make you? The antichrist? Satan? Your level of evil is beyond comprehension, it's almost biblical evil in nature.

I'm 26, is there any point in me trying to start dating?

Not that I could really know anything about it, but I feel like the "doing it for yourself and no one else" part of recovery rhetoric is a really important tidbit to the whole thing.