I couldn't and still can't make friends or talk to people without being a weird/rude retard and fucking everything up so when I was in my mid-teens, I embraced being a loner and felt somewhat happy. Giving up on any pretense of trying felt good, rejection couldn't hurt me and it felt like me. I gave it up as I grew older because I thought that I should still try to be someone rather than give up.I'm 21 now and haven't matured much if at all since then or childhood. I'd still rather get fussed on by my mum then date, get high or go out. I've been stuck in a limbo of not knowing what to do, but even as time slowly ticks away, I can't bring myself to try. I'm holding myself back because I dream of going back to those days of being my own retard and feeling invincible because of it, and also because I think that it's who I am, that's the person I ended up as rather than a normie and I'm too socially slow to pretend that I'm anything other than a tard. How can I stop holding myself hostage like this? Alternatively, is embracing being a tard as I did when I was younger the right thing to do?
>>32377000Im 28 and its a ride to be sure. Honestly worst place I've been in ever in my life. I have a GF and I have a roof over my head other then that nothing. No Job now either cause I'm a basket case in the head. From what I can make of it 20s are for when you fuck around, Get high and do stupid shit. I was a loner and still am in fact I only started smoking pot daily this year. Fully addicted but I started. If I could say anything to my 21 year old self Id just say figure out your own head and seek help professionally but at the end of the day your 20s are your time to fuck up. Now if your still fucking up in your 30s that's just when people start ignoring you.... or so I've heard.
>>32377136Also me but also letting go of the past has been a huge thing for me personally. I did a lot of shit Im not proud of and a lot of it haunts me. That said though I've come to learn that while I was suffering stuck in my own head. Those people who in my eyes I wronged or fucked over went about their day. Some even forgetting completely what I had done if a chance ever came up. I'm still learning but here's the gist. Life goes on literally with or without you. It doesn't matter how many people you fucked over or didn't it doesn't matter. The sun will come up and go down. No one gives a fuck other then you. IN this way of thinking I'm learning to close my heart to any and all people not inside my social group.
>>32377136>>32377168Thanks. Good luck to you in your future anon.
>>32377000
>>32379879
bump
>>32381787
I’ll stop bumping this soon if there’s no interest, but this is something important to me so I don’t want to give up just yet.
>>32384681
>>32385901
