i dont know what to do, every day i feel more warped, frustrated, and dissociated and nobody knows what to do, whenever i try asking for advice, i either get mocked or get bandaid solutions like "hit the gym" or "go on a diet" if not blatant dismissal disguised as help like "touch grass" or "go to therapy"everything feels so fucking useless and my inner monologue is desperately trying to convince me that this is useless to but surely I have to do something before i give into breaking in some regard by doing something incredibly evil and/or stupidthe only things i give a shit about are finding a way to get rid of the increasing omnipresent background stress that never goes away no matter what or finding a distraction to it or finding ways to cope by understanding it more. my memory is severely horrible and there are many parts of my psyche i cannot access such as feeling connected to any feeling besides lust or anxietyi have no idea what caused any of this but its been getting progressively worse since i was 13 and now i am 20. i dropped out of high school in 11th grade because i didnt give a fuck about my future or anythingsometimes i think i should try to help others but i wouldnt know where to begin because i suck at literally everything except being annoying (this is not depression speaking, I am able to "feel" good moods but no connection to them) even then, the "good" moods come out of nowhere and I still acknowledge i am a drain on everyone around mewhat can i do to stop this spiral of madness?
>>33918304lol literally go on a diet and hit the gym, being a crying stressed overthinking sissy is a common side effect of low Tif u r so dismissive & above that and think it's normie advice, u can drug yourself w SSRIs (pharmakeia/witchcraft) while u wait for the final judgement
>>33918311why do you think i havent tried this already? when i was 15 i was average weight and also commit to working out at home to the point where i could do 19 pushups in a row but that never did anything for the problems i continuously facei got my hormones checked back around July of this year and they were fine, high T - even but im female so idk how that effects me
>>33918324being average weight & being able to do 19 push ups (which is nothing btw) doesnt mean u r dieting correctly and jew doctors telling u your hormones are fine doesn't mean shit LMAOu r a women so the hormone u need to optimize for is progesterone, ur bad memory is low choline so i'd recommend buying alpha gpcu feel like shit bc u poisoned ur neurons by trapping urself into a recursive loop of negative internal monologue which now permeated into ur mind and YES, it'll be hard to break; u could get ketamine treatment or just avoid internal monologue altogether as u'll probably end up continue reinforcing existing negative feelings like u've been doing for the past 7 years apparentlyask me anything rn that u want, i know i sound like a cunt but im trying to help, i've been there
>Go on a dietIt reminds me when I went full vegan/vegetarian for 4 fucking years (18 to 22). Nothing chaged in my life, except for worse. I dropped that shit years ago obiously
>>33918342>u r a women so the hormone u need to optimize for is progesteroneI thought it was estrogen but aight. I don't have signs of problems with either of them. >ur bad memory is low choline so i'd recommend buying alpha gpcive tried countless supplements, none have ever made a dent either>u feel like shit bc u poisoned ur neurons by trapping urself into a recursive loop of negative internal monologue which now permeated into ur mind and YES, it'll be hard to breakI always feel warped/frustrated/dissociated even when I'm not focusing obsessively on stuff that makes me upset. It's always in the background and I often wake up trembling.I guess I should mention I'm on a stupidly high dose of an antipsychotic called aripiprazole/abilify nowadays but I know the spiral of doom started before I ever got on it + I get enraged at everything when tapering off it to the point of my head buzzing. I probably should try again because it could be worsening my problems but what I'm trying to say is that its not whats causing it.I'm starting to fall asleep now, but thanks for your responses so far. I'll check back on this thread tomorrow if it hasn't been slid completely.
>>33918304professional help
>>33918362>I thought it was estrogen but aight. I don't have signs of problems with either of them. u didn't even try to optimize for it yet and already dismissed >ive tried countless supplements, none have ever made a dent eitheru didn't even try taking specifically alpha-gpc consistently and already dismissed >I always feel warped/frustrated/dissociated even when I'm not focusing obsessively on stuff that makes me upset. It's always in the background and I often wake up trembling.I guess I should mention I'm on a stupidly high dose of an antipsychotic called aripiprazole/abilify nowadays but I know the spiral of doom started before I ever got on it + I get enraged at everything when tapering off it to the point of my head buzzing. I probably should try again because it could be worsening my problems but what I'm trying to say is that its not whats causing it.bc u've been doing this shit for 7 years everyday of your life, what do u expect? obviously it's what u r going to naturally want to do & everything else will feel weird, thats how addicts feel. u need to find something else to do that forbids u of falling back into this bad loop
>>33918304Sounds like the stress is the focus here, what's stressing you out particularly?
>>33918489i dont know honestly, at times i think i should become a ftm or that im being attacked by an energy weapon or have a demon, i actually went to a pentecostal church some time ago and the pastor said my mom had a malicious spiritual entity but not me.
>>33918304>"hit the gym" >"go on a diet">"touch grass">"go to therapy"All of this is good advice. Judging by the rest of your post, sounds like you might need a doctor, maybe even a social worker.
>>33918304practice ashtanga yoga and tranquil wisdom insight meditation. Check yourself for mold infections or heavy metal toxicity.
>>33918324>to the point where i could do 19 pushups in a rowWhen I was in Jr. High i used to do 20 reps with 200 lbs.Even my niece can do 20 push ups and still have the strength to hit me after I told her her tits were visible.You just sound like you have no goal worth working towards.
>>33918342>i know i sound like a cuntActually you sound like an idiot phone poster.>>33918304Don't listen to the phone poster, the drugs are making him talk nonsense. Speak to someone not on drugs.
