hello. so essentially, before my bf goes to work, or on the weekends, it’s an entirely different demeanor to after he comes home from work. he has adhd, so i don’t know if that factors into it. after work he has what i can only describe as “work mode” residuals lingering. he seems more focused and not as… i don’t wanna say happy, but i guess not as upbeat? a little indifferent? at first i took this as maybe something was afoot with how he was feelings towards me, but after he unwinds or we make love or something, it’s clearly not the case.is this a common thing? i would like reassurance if it is, im sorry if this is a stupid thread
>>33923646Yeah, I do the same thing. I think most guys have something similar. You should shower him with hugs and kisses when he gets home.
>>33923646I am very much the same, down to the ADHD. There is a different kind of pressure at work that your boyfriend has to contend with, and he's around people that expect certain things from him that you don't. He's not so much changing who he is as much as he is adapting to the situation he is in. I like to chill in my work truck for about 10 minutes to unwind before I even go inside and see my wife,
>>33923672thank you. that’s good to know. i really appreciate it. will do, i always try to keep my upbeat lovey attitude even when hes in work mode. its even better to know that the hugs and kisses will help, i sometimes feel bad trying to disrupt him or give him affection when hes like that just bc i try not to… overload him? hard to say exactly what i mean. but thank you so much
>>33923646I am very much the same, down to the ADHD. There is a different kind of pressure at work that your boyfriend has to contend with, and he's around people that expect certain things from him that you don't. He's not so much changing who he is as much as he is adapting to the situation he is in. I like to chill in my work truck for about 10 minutes to unwind before I even go inside and see my wife, gives me a better chance at being myself with her. Sometimes I'm pissed off trying to fix something all day and the only thing that will snap me back to reality is her hug at the door.
>>33923646i am like this.my ex used to get upset, i told her to give me 30 mins to unwind and id be just fine.its a thing some people do to survive the day, you play a character at work (i also have adhd)
>>33923833ohhhhh…. i seeee. i really appreciate you saying you have adhd too, i know that the condition can sometimes make people act differently especially when the medications wear off/come on. you put it very eloquently, makes total sense. i suppose it’s hard for me to remember that perspective. i feel no ill will towards him, of course! i simply just wasn’t able to tell if it was him being unhappy or really focused. it sounds like it’s a unanimous thing on the hugs and kisses part, i will absolutely do that much more when he comes home. often i tend to just let him stay in his element, as i don’t want to bother him or this that and the third yadda yadda. i really appreciate it. thank you so much
>>33923851understandable. as i said in my previous post, i certainly hold no ill will, whenever he snaps back to non work mode it always reassures me that it’s just the work week taking a small toll. i certainly don’t resent him for it, more just a… wanting to know if this is a common, outside looking in thing. it often lasts quite a bit longer for him, however he does have school to worry about (he works at school as an instructor during his phd and is going to get another degree after, so i think he can have a lot on his mind when he’s reminded of it).thank you so much. :)
update: i gave him tons of huggies and kissies and told him i loved him and it helped a lot. thank you all for suggesting that.
>>33924001:Dthis sounds gay as fuck but i used to snap out of work mode by massaging my gf, it was very ritualistic and helped me shift into a caring open mindset
>>33923646Work a job for one day
