I don't know how to take control, its all too much.>Born Male, 20, 3rd year in Chem>University in baltic's bumfuck nowhere, 2.5rd year chem degree I dont give a shit about. (I wanted biology, my familiy insisted chem)>have zero love/sex experience>5.5/10 looks, 175cm overweight, 'tism, adhd, overall weird guy>Tranny, but never transitioned nor female presenting>Only redeeming qualities are: Ok at drawing, 110/120 IQ and C1 EngI've realized I've been groomed to chase academic success above all else. I always thought achieving the next stage in my career will solve everything (Get IB diploma, get in a good uni etc.) but I realized Im pushing my 20's and I have never actually did anything with my life. I never fell in love, I never thought I could be loved in the first place. Like what the fuck, thats literally it? Did missing out on my childhood led to a FUCKING DEGREE THAT I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT? I've been thinking of transitioning for years too, but at my age shit's literally impossible (Not to mention Im türko and missed the 17yo deadline). "Well nobody got their shit together in their tweni-" Because I just accepted everything my family said I spent my most of my "best years" stuck in a cold and shitty post soviet country studying shit I despise, fucked up my developing brain with adhd amphetamines to get better grades and had to endure being a ugly short immigrant in a %99 white country.I have still life left and I want to take control back, live life for myself from now on. Do something I genuinely want to do. But where do I start? I never thought for myself, how can I escape the NPC curse. Help me out guys, I heard you guys think out of the box. Im open for ANY suggestions.tldr: OP unsatisfied with the life choices others took/didnt take for him, wants to control his own life.
do shit you would think is insane. if the goal is to experience life, you cannot have a bad experience. go ask out your fag of choice or guy or whatever. come out. fuck that degree, go do something else.(though if you’re mostly done you might aswell finish it)
