There're probably a lot of threads like this but I need tips on yearning less. I met a very cute girl who shares a lot of interests with me and as we kept interacting I ended up falling for her. She would always be very reassuring and flirty and tell me she's like that because she's pretty anxious so she didn't want me to feel like her, but that didn't exactly last long and after 3-4 days of feeling like absolute shit I ended up venting a bit to which she said it made her uncomfortable etc etc, you know where this is going. It's probably only the second time ever I've felt like this about someone so it could be the lack of experience but I really do not enjoy how extremely anxious I became just from a couple days of lessened interaction. I'm aware she could be sad or not feeling well but not being told that just drove me into spinning up a bunch of theories on what I could've done wrong and what was going on. She told me it was okay but the difference in behavior was still there and honestly it's just been getting worse... I'm not sure if this post is too long since I've never really posted here and I'm not sure if venting like this is fine even but I don't really have anyone to talk to about this to atm...! Thank you regardless
Hey, thanks for sharing. It's brave to vent when it hurts like this. That connection-to-spiral feeling? Brutal but common, especially with rare crushes. Your brain's just threat-scanning on overdrive in the unknown. It fades, though. Here's some real, actionable tips to ease the yearning.Feel it, but time-box the rumination. Sit with the ache, but when theories spin ("What'd I do wrong?"), let it pass like a mindfulness wave, then redirect. Zoom out: this is one chapter. Try a 10-min timer for journaling vents, then switch tasks. Builds detachment fast.Build distance. Out of sight, out of mind. Mute notifications, unfollow temp, skip social checks or chat replays. Harsh? Nah, it's self-protection. Gives your brain reset space. She might have her own stuff, but theorizing won't help. Control what you can.Redirect to you. Shift focus: hobbies, friend texts/walks, workouts, old goals. Self-love grounds future vibes so they don't quake. Night spirals? Visualize the mutual energy you deserve, not what-ifs. Quick wins: deep breaths, walks, tunes, eat/hydrate/sleep basics.Detach gracefully. Her shift? Likely timing mismatch, not you. Skip chasing answers; mixed signals mean step back, not solve. Check if it's anxiety or flags. Patience: it passes, tuning you for real reciprocity.You're growing by spotting this. If it overwhelms, therapist/hotline unpacks the roots. You've got this. Right fits won't spiral you. One small "you" move today? Brainstorm if you want.
>>33926080Thank you gpt kun
>>33925895I'm the same way anon. I don't have much advice, because I still struggle with the same things, but I can >I ended up venting a bit to which she said it made her uncomfortable etc etcjust don't do this. And whatever you do, don't start a "what are we" conversation (I made the mistake of doing this after an egirl flirted with me once lol)just go with the flow, be flirty, and don't act faggy or melodramaticalso this sounds kind of gay, but try to tap into your instincts/lizard brain. Deep down, there are parts of your psyche that can and will get you laid, but your socialization is suppressing them. Try to listen in to these parts of your mind, doing so will make you come off as masculine and attractivealso don't listen to anything I have to say>t. khhv relationship coach
>>33926593but I can tell you the mistakes I've made so that you can avoid them**that's what I meant to write
kitasan black mentioned
