27M here.Graduated 2 years ago with a CS engineering degree. Got a comfy research/software dev job, decent pay, zero pressure, I set my own hours, and half the time AI tools basically do the work for me. It’s fine, but kind of lonely and empty at times.I stay active: play racket sports (sometimes small tournaments), and hit the gym 2–3 times a week. I’ve got some friends I lift and play board games with. They’re good guys, I like hanging with them, but honestly they’re all pretty average just like me. Stable jobs, decent lives, no big goals or ambitions. Feels like everyone’s just existing on autopilot.Been with my girlfriend since 2022. She’s 5 years younger. I don’t think I ever really loved her - she’s alright, nice body, but not a face I could really love. I mostly started dating her because I was lonely back then. Now spending time with her feels like a chore half the time. She will be crushed if I break up, she thinks everything is great and when she graduates next year she want to go and live with me. I'm not looking forward to that.When I’m not working, at the gym, or with her, I’m usually sitting at my PC scrolling reddit, 4chan, or some random news sites. I deleted Instagram and Facebook a while ago, so at least I’m not wasting time on reels anymore.When I was younger, I really wanted to make games. That thought still comes up sometimes, but these days I barely play any. When I do, it’s just some mindless roguelike or gambling-type game for a quick dopamine hit.On paper, my life’s pretty good, job, health, friends, gf, hobbies - but it all feels kind of hollow. Like I’m just waiting for something to give my life actual meaning, but I'm atheist and believe there is no inherent meaning.Wtf am I supposed to do? Wait and eventually give it all up to start rotting until I die?
>>33928314The obvious question is, does your gf want kids?
>>33928324Thanks for replying, I guessed my post was a fking tldr so didn't expect someone to do so.And yes, she does, but in 5+ years. I don't want them because then I will be 'stuck' for sure. The key to all of this might just be to break up, endure the fact that I will have destroyed her mentally, comming out of the blue like that, and move on.
>>33928343Correct.As to your existential issue, that is a related but ultimately separate problem.
>>33928314>I have money please don't mind me humble braggingKys nigga
>>33928314It sounds like you lived your life doing what people told you to do instead of doing what you wanted. When they coincide, it’s great. But if they are opposites of each other, you’re better off pursuing your own dreams.What else would you be doing if you didn’t have any of your current obligations? Think on that for a while.
