I am posting this here because I don't really know what else to do. My friend recently cut ties with me because she felt that I was leading her on while in a relationship, and that isn't entirely incorrect.I started dating my current gf several months ago, and I knew pretty much immediately that the relationship probably wouldn't go anywhere. This perception hasn't changed. We don't do stuff together, the 'friend' part of boyfriend and girlfriend is totally unfulfilled. It is a relationship based entirely on mutual attraction and loneliness. After a short time dating my gf, I met my friend and we became good friends before long. I knew, at this point, that I wanted to date this girl, and had known for some time that my current relationship wasn't going anywhere. My first failure was at this point, in continuing with my gf when I knew that I didn't want to stay with her. I did it because I've been ghosted dozens of times by people I considered friends, and just assumed that eventually one or both of them would ditch me and by continuing to talk to both girls I was improving my chances of not being lonely in the future. The friend eventually ended up in a relationship with another guy, which ended in short order. After it ended came my next mistake. My friend and I became much closer after this, spending more time playing games and watching tv together. I was, at this point, fairly certain that she wanted to be more than friends. Once again, I should've broken things off with my gf.
>>33929275(cont)The flashpoint of this entire situation came when I added my friend on instagram, and she looked through my followers list and correctly assumed that I had a girlfriend. She ghosted me at this point for about a week and made a series of posts about feeling betrayed and cheated on social media. At this point, I tried to break up with my girlfriend, and did for several days, but after seeing how heartbroken my gf was and assuming that my friend wasn't going to talk to me anymore, I resumed the relationship.Finally, the final nail was put into the coffin when, after resuming talking to my friend, albeit in a more distant and guarded sense, I asked if she wanted to hang out, she said that it would be inappropriate because I have a gf, to which I responded that my gf knows she is my friend and I did not think it was inappropriate (which is true). At this point she blocked me.Finally, I was able to contact her on an alt account and she said she wanted to go our separate ways and that she didn't want to to have that kind of relationship/friendship. She made several posts which led me to believe she is probably angry at me/sad before setting her social to private. My current situation is entirely the result of my own actions and in no way the fault of either of the other two parties. I don't know what to do at this point. I feel that I should break up with my gf for the reasons outlined earlier but I am scared of being alone again. I want to wait for some time to pass after I have broken up with her and try to contact my friend again, but I feel that this is probably pointless and rude given that our falling out is completely my fault. I spent a lot of time crying last night and today during work, to the point that the head lifeguard asked me if I needed to go home early, and I've been totally unable to concentrate in uni for the past few weeks as this has unfolded. My life is falling apart because of my own cowardice.
You're young, don't worry about it. It's ok to be alone but I also understand being afraid of being alone. You will not meet a better gf if you are stuck with the one that isn't right for you.
>>33929434I'm 20 and this was my first real relationship. I'm so scared of going back to being alone because it took so long to find someone who was even interested in me and I worry that I won't ever find someone like my friend again and that I have burnt a bridge that I will regret for the rest of my life.
>>33929442desu your new friend is too volatile and judgemental and doesn't let you explain or resolve situation in which you are, your gf sounds like a much more tolerant and reliable person, too bad you're not in love with her, she's indeed an actual person you've been leading on and being unfair to
>>33929442Dude you're 20. Move on. Men your age are bringing home their friends in body bags regretting that they couldn't save them from getting their head blown off in a warzone. This whole situation seems big to you but it doesn't matter. Stop making a big deal out of it. Either work on improving your relationship or end it and have the balls to find a new one.
>>33929275Grow strong and don't be weak but holding on to this past is also weakness.
>>33929481It's not her fault I'm a shithead. She was smart enough to see my failure before I was, if I had to guess, and that's why she left. Both her and my gf deserve better than whatever this was.>>33929489all the oldfags say this but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I get the feeling that this is the kind of mistake I'll look back on for the rest of my life and regret. Thanks either way.>>33929502I need to burn out whatever part of me allowed this to happen in the first place before I worry about moving on.
>>33929524>all the oldfags say thisAll the oldfags were newfags like you once and went down the same road. Go read / watch Attack on Titan: A Choice with No Regrets and let Irwin's advice change your life like it did mine.
damn nigga thats a lot of shit i aint reading.quit being a fag.
