I have social anxiety and no friends. My therapist and psychiatrist suggested that I start doing things to socialize: join discord servers, study groups from my uni department, go to the church. The problem is that I don't really want to go out of my way to do those things, it is time consuming and commuting to those places is a burden (and I also can't drive, which makes it worse). I don't even have the motivation to open discord and start chatting. How will I make friends that way? Guess I won't, so how to motivate myself?
>>34555340You are just like me. I finished graduating and suddenly the noise disappeared. People drift away quietly, almost without ceremony. One day you are surrounded by conversations, obligations, familiar faces, and then life closes like a theater after the final act. Everyone walks home under different streetlights.Think carefully about the direction you are moving toward. Is this truly the shape you want your life to take. Can you imagine reaching eighty years old without ever experiencing genuine friendship or a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex. Not even temporary affection or passing intimacy, but complete emotional absence. Never having been deeply known by another person, and never truly knowing anyone in return.Imagine sitting alone with the weight of your own past, realizing your youth dissolved into isolated days that blurred together like smoke. Years spent consuming distractions while nobody remembers your laughter, your presence, your voice, your struggles, or your affection. Human beings endure suffering far more easily than emptiness. Pain at least leaves scars that prove something happened. But emotional absence leaves nothing at all. It is like opening an old house and finding every room unfurnished.That is why isolation becomes frightening after enough time passes. Not merely because of loneliness in the present, but because of what it slowly steals from the future. Memories are built through friction with other people. Without that, life begins feeling strangely unreal, as though you observed it from behind glass instead of truly participating in it.You do not need to become extraordinary overnight. But you should not let comfort turn into paralysis either. A person can waste years waiting to magically feel worthy of connection before attempting to live. That feeling rarely arrives on its own.
you can join herehttps://discord.gg/9FkBUujg
>>34555395I'm not OP but I want to click this so badly. But I know I shouldn't, it's just too suspicious though.
>>34555401there's nothing suspicious :((
>>34555434>there's nothing suspicious :((Nah, it absolutely is suspicious, if you had dropped your Discord ID and then invited to the server, it would seem less suspicious, lol
>>34555457>Nah, it absolutely is suspicious, if you had dropped your Discord ID and then invited to the server, it would seem less suspicious, lolcan't people get you ip from your id or something tho
>>34555478>can't people get you ip from your id or something thoNo.
>>34555489pinky promise?
>>34555340Discord bro. Build a network of friends, fuel drama, etc., you'll be itching to socialize :)
>>34555499>pinky promise?Yes...?!? This is getting in uncharted territory.
>>34555580Discord is great if you want to be surrounded by trannies who will throw a fit and ban you if you laugh at them for being fags
>>34555716>Discord is great if you want to be surrounded by trannies who will throw a fit and ban you if you laugh at them for being fagsNTS, but that's not true bro, all my friends are very far right... To the point I have to tell them to hide their power level on public servers... It really depends.
>>34555735>NTSNTA*Sorry, something came up and I made a mistake
>>34555735My experience joining discord for a month was that literally everyone in every server was either:>gay>muslim>underage>some dude trying to pick up underage girls
>>34555394Thank you for the answer. Well done in describing the feeling. I will have to figure out how not to let comfort became paralysis though. Thank you for the advice. By the way, how is your life going, regarding your social life and loneliness?
>>34555744>gay>muslim>underage>some dude trying to pick up underage girlsI had some experiences like that, I entered a server and it was literally like that, even the owner got accused of shady stuff. There was lots of Muslims too, but they kind of suffered a bit of "racism/xenophobia" because a lot of people there were Euros. Most people I met there were either homos, Muslims, underage people, people trying to hook up with underage people, but I did met some few people really nice there. You just have to filter people, you know? I found a guy there and he's been my friend for years, even though we both left the server, we have each other's numbers, LinkedIn, we know where each other work, and he is a channer too, I met other nice people but didn't click, it is what it is...
>>34555820>By the way, how is your life going, regarding your social life and loneliness?How is my social life going. Honestly, it is almost nonexistent. I slowly let go of it over time, though strangely enough, I do not really feel lonely most days. Life became very mechanical in a way. I spend most of my time working, saving money, studying languages, and focusing on small things I enjoy. Sometimes I play games, sometimes I watch old movies, sometime I listen to old songs I like, the kind where everything feels distant and melancholic, like a memory that never belonged to you.I do think about what it would be like to have close friends or a girlfriend. I wanted that genuinely. Not in a superficial sense, but the deeper idea of being understood naturally by someone, of being important to another person without forcing it. But reality feels harsher than imagination. Finding people you truly connect with is difficult, and after a certain point the process itself begins feeling exhausting.Part of the problem is probably myself. I do not really feel adequate as a person yet. I have too many unresolved problems, too many responsibilities pressing down on me at once. I still feel new to life, like everyone else received a map years ago and I am still standing at the entrance trying to understand where the road even begins. I am trying my best, genuinely, but sometimes it feels hard imagining someone loving me for who I really am in the state I am currently in.I have told myself many times that I think everyone secretly wants to be someone's favorite person. To feel remembered, chosen, and irreplaceable in someone's eyes. But there is also this quiet fear lingering underneath it all. The fear that maybe you are too late, too flawed, too distant, or simply not made for that kind of closeness. So you keep moving forward quietly, carrying the desire with you like an old photograph hidden in your pocket, worn at the edges from being touched too often.
>>34555927I am not trying to tell you that there is some effortless way to make friends or suddenly fix loneliness. I am trying to tell you what happens when you slowly withdraw from people and convince yourself that isolation is easier. At first it feels peaceful, almost comforting. You focus on your routines, your interests, your own private world. But if you remain disconnected for too long, life starts becoming strangely hollow, and one day you look around and realize nobody truly knows you, remembers you, or carries your presence in their life. That is the quiet future waiting for people who completely check out of society. I think these paintings capture better what I am trying to convey with words.
>>34555340>join discord servers>go to the church.Who the fuck came up with that shit? Those are not places where you can socialize with anyone who is stable, interesting or fun to be around. Its a sewer of freaks and weirdoes who will only bring you down further.
