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/an/ - Animals & Nature



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What animal would you like to be? And why?
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a human in the 1%
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>>2840772
Oy vey.
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A seagull or any other relatively big bird (1-2 kg). Why? Because you can shit on people, yet receive food from them. Plus, steal stuff (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYHjyNNy_4Y)
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>>2840760
Boar/Pig.
Dunno, I'm big, chubby, lazy, gluttonous. I always felt like a pig. Also because my chinese zodiac says so.
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Panda. Just because they are what they are and no one judges them. I could eat sleep and roll around all day
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A big fat stingray at the zoo. I get to be fed almost every hour by random people and I can just glide around all day and mingle with stingray chicks.
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>>2840796
And sting Australians?
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>>2840796
“He then places one of his two claspers into her valve.”
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>>2840760
small reef fish of some kind
pros:
you get to explore this huge ecosystem on a grand scale
can move around freely underwater
you look rad
cons:
you're bottom of the food chain
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I'd visit every tropical reef in the world.
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The eye parasite of a greenland shark.
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pure bred neanderthal
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Unironically, but nigger, or muslim, because you can do everything, and nobody will punish you for this.
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The eye parasite of an eye parasite of a greenland shark
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Eagle
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>>2840760
Probably a large bird of prey, maybe a Bald Eagle. Hang out in the middle of nowhere in the woods and catch fish all day
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Crocodile
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A dolphin. It's still a non-brainlet existence in the grand scheme of things and I get gang rape buddies.
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Either some large feline like lion or cheetah, however in both these cases it is hard to deal with humans.

Or a majestic stud stallion in a good breeder's hands.
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i'd get to lie around all day and get fat
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>>2840867
*gets shot*
ayo din do nutin
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>>2840760
a hooman
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>>2840760
Sperm whale
>get to fuck up giant squid
>get to talk with my bros on the other side of the ocean
>explore the depths of the ocean
>no predators, not even the japs can get me
>barf / shit one of the most expensive substances to man
>have a language so complex that the humans tiny brain cant comprehend it
>have a ginormous dong and the largest brain of all animals
>can hold my breath for 90 minutes
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A HYENA!

So I can laugh at everything!
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>>2840772
You'll never be one of us /an/goy
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>>2841204
>not even the japs can get me
I RILL HABU UR BRUBBERU WHALU FAGGOTU
NO HIDE FROM JAPU
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>>2841164
Muslim then.
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Inside/outside pet cat. I can pretend to be a wild animal all day but also run home if it gets uncomfortable. Also people will praise me for doing nothing but sunbathing all day.
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>>2841139
But if there is an itch in a hard-to-reach place it will get very uncomfortable.
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>>2840760
A parrot. i can fly, speak, and live a long life
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>>2841366
And shit on owner, and still get food
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>>2840760
Tortoise. Taking my time, munching on shit here and there, living long and knocking shells with the ladies. Sounds pretty good to me.
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the coolest ones are getting rekt by humans
a giant squid I guess
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>>2840760

A nigger so i get the whyte wamen
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A tortoise, I guess.
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Goose. Shit everywhere. Bite anybody. And being shot also a possibility.
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>>2840846
The life of a greenland shark sounds like pure suffering.
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>>2842097
>over 500 years of suffering





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