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Horse General

Rancho Relaxo edition

>>4837006 - thread that was nuked by the mod's global purge
>>
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>>4865949
Oops! I messed up.
Previous thread: >>4857796
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>>4865949
May this very important medic horse keep this thread alive and healthy.
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Equines are stealing all the oxygen.
This horse is candidate for next thread's OP because I say so.
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>>4865960
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>>4865962
>>
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>>4865963
The mod deleted the threads because its hooves were too wide for the keyboard. Bottom pic is a live recreation of how it looked.
>>
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>>4865966
I keep telling them to use their prehensile lips...
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>>4866006
Did you never go to a typing class? You use the back corners of your hooves and keep them on the home row. Just like Mavis Bacon used to teach!
>>
What happened? Did the board lay down?
>>
>>4866062
horsegen was nuked by ufos
much 4chans was destroyed
>>
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>>4866062
/shrug
>>
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>>4866062
It's top secret
>>
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>>4865958
big sniff snoof edition
>>4866062
schizo rumor on /g/ is someone posted pizza somewhere like crazy and mods accidentally the whole site
>>4866103
webm related is the only thread relevant animated horse girl, not your kids show furry trash
>>
>>4866185
This is why everywhere outside the US needs to be range banned.0jknt
>>
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more webm roulette
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>>4865953
There's no way that pony has any kind of medical training. That pony is a liar and a fraud and should be reported to the red cross.
>>
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>>4866414
second webm roulette
>>
>>4866414
horse roulette
>>4866427
horselet

what's next? horse banquet?
>>
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>>4866497
I can't do webm roulette. Last time I did they had to delete every thread on 4chan because my horse webms are far too powerful.
>>
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i wanted to reopen the discussion on this webm from last september. Have you ever seen a horse enjoy petting like this? it's so bizarre.
>>
>>4866591
The nosters are sensitive. I've met at least 4 horses that loved nose rubs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEo3moSNB1I
>>
>>4866591
That behaviour is weird. Horses don't like their snoofas rubbed as far as I know. It's even worse if it's done quickly because it will make them sneeze and that angers them.
>>4866604
Oh That explains it.
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>>4866591
>>
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more webm roulette
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>>4866169
Weebshitter cope. Your slop will never be a real horse.
>>
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>>4866745
let’s not start a argument autismo

more webm roulette
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Why are mares so angry?
>>
>>4866849
not enough human cock
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>>4866849
Because some people like mares bit too much
>>
>>4866828
>be whore
>horse: i got u chika
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>>4866851
that birds gonna be hoof stomped
>>
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>>4866850
>>4866851
The duality of man
>>
>>4866853
say the line
>>
>>4866859
>>mlp is this way
>>
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>>4866853
What was his fucking problem?
>>
>>4866859
Oh gosh best princess
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>>4866849
because they have all them teeth but no toothbrush
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>>4866859
based jannies not jannying
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>>4866888
Trips confirm
>>
>>4866828
YJK
>>
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>>4866849
'cause mares just wanna have fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A
>>
>>4867022
[spoiler]Context: She's a whorse.[/spoiler]
>>
>>4866849
They have no sense of humare
>>
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alright which one of you forgot to turn off the stove last thread
>>
I wish horses had big udders like cows and humans.
>>
>>4867277
Horse teats are perfect as nature intended however
>>
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>>4867277
Mare milkers are perfect fuck you
>>
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>>4866900
This aged like milk
>>
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>>4867292
my apologies. hot.
>>
>>4867537
Poor horse.
>>
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>>4867292
Do milk.
>>
>>4867565
why poor?
>>
>>4867567
Very cute calf. They look so adorable when they are desperately chugging milk. I hope it didn't get any milk in its lungs.
>>
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webm roulette
>>
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let’s try again
>>
>>4865960
Honse
>>4865962
Squrse
>>4865963
Thinquine
>>
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>>4867626
She is unfulfilled.
>>
>>4868688
If I live to be 100 I will never tire of the horse lip wiggle.
>>
>>4867537
this webm is like fucking crack to me, horses are so fucking cute!
>>
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mare from the pervious thread
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>>4869337
It really captures the fury
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>Rancho Relaxo
I know about the hotel that they send in the little shetland pony to neigh you awake, but I wish there was a horse spa.
>>
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>>4869452
>>
if a horse kicked me would i die?
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>>4869530
It would be extremely painful
>>
>>4866853
Should have dropped chaff as soon as it locked on.
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>>4869530
They only kick bad people.
>>
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was it satanic
>>
>>4869910
The International Olympic Committee is the only organization in the world that gives FIFA and Formula One a run for their money, in terms of corruption and whitewashing of crimes against humanity. Of course everything they touch is polluted by Mammon and the Adversary.
>>
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>>4869910
Why didn't they bother dressing the horse up?
>>
>>4869685
They also will kick you if they think you are a horse only to find you are actually a very pissed off human with a lead rope with leather tip. That's what you get when they are playing bullshit gelding herd hierarchy fights and back into you standing near your own horse. I am top horse.
>>
>>4869943
the christian horse passed his detect evil check and refused on religious grounds
>>
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>>4869933
I can't help but notice two of those entities are European and heavily non English speaking.
>>
>>4869910
It was trolling to make nutjobs feel unwelcome. The world hates these guys >>4869933 (americans)
>>
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I am setting out to do something extremely dangerous again. If I never see you again horse general just remember that I love you.
>>
>>4870121
don't fence hop
>>
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>>4870083
I think the world needs to stop seething over America and maybe pay attention to what is going on in their own boarders. America didn't cause that. Their own politicians sold them out and many of them didn't even have the grace to allow themselves to be compromised first.
>>
ive never ridden a horse or even been near one but i just wanted to say horses are pretty cool
>>
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*PPFFRTTT*
*BBRAAAAPP*
*BRONK*
>>
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>>4870121
He... Left the stove on...
>>
Horses may be autistic drama queens, but you can't deny that they are some of the most looksmaxxed creatures on the planet.
>>
>>4870350
I'm 100% sure horses reprogrammed us humans to find them appealing.
>awkward long head/face
>super weird nose
>almost humanlike hairstyle on an already furred animal (wtf)
>ear-cutting sharp call noises
There are so many facts that should technically make us not like them and yet we still find them beautiful and even CUTE.
>>
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>>4870355
High heels were made to immitate clip-clop of hooves
>>
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>>4870376
wrong
>>
>>4870355
Tall, upright, muscular, and naturally athletic maps onto human awe I think. Longer neck gives them more range of movement of their head which makes them seem more curious/intelligent. It gives them a natural sort of "noble" appearance.

Compare that with something like an ox which, while very strong, is squat, less expressive, and has an awkward-looking gait.
>>
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more horse webm roulette
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>>4870467
let’s try that again
>>
>>4870467
Buddy you seriously need a horse webm folder.
>>
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>>4870467
must be an exotic breed
>>
>>
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>>
Are there any rope harness techniques that would work well on a horse?

I'm not looking for restraints. I'm looking for cheap diy harness builds, preferably something I can hook onto a wagon and make my gelding look sexy.
I have a near infinite amount of hay twine and I know the basics of weaving and knot work. Please nothing that restricts limbs but accentuation of limbs is fine.
>>
gushing mares
>>
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>>4871083
gushing on mares
>>
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There are horses in the world that have never felt the gentle touch of a human hand
>>
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>>4871213
There are humans in the world who have never felt the soothing snoof of a horse
>>
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>>4871215
horse lips are so soft
>>
>>4865960
The thumbnail makes the wood look like speedlines
>>
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The equines are joining forces...
>>
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>>4871866
They're building a team!
>>
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>>
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>>4872493
Now show a horse trying to walk with those on.
>>
>>4872493
But hooves are perfect footwear already
>>
>>4866850
kys
>>
>>4866850
This
>>
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>>4873434
Touch the nostril
>>
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>>4873551
>>
What are the downsides of owning a horse?
>>
>>4873859
Needs a lot of grass field and you need to clean up its shit
>>
>>4873859
They sneak into your house when you're sleeping and bite you really hard on the back.
>>
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>>4873859
Tails tend to break on the new models
>>
>>4873866
>clean up shit
so, just like every single animal?
>>
>>4874135
horses shit A LOT and every 2 hours
>>
>>4874141
me too
>>
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>>4874142
Same, we must have horses in our blood.
>>
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>>4874141
just like me after drinking shiner bock
>>
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>>4874417
flop flop flop flop flop
webm roulette
>>
>>4874465
Does your device not have thumbnail previews?
>>
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>>4874476
iOS doesn’t preview webm
>lol itoddler lol
and how is your android phone?
remind me how much viruses exist on the google app store
>>
>>4874507
Thank you saaaaar i will now buy a worse product because its possible to install a “virus” if you’re retarded and install literally every candy crush knockoff there is
>>
>>4874509
>worse product
what is so magical about Android or Google phones retard. Tell me what’s better that isn’t “muh privacy” because your privacy is moot regardless of what you do
>>
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the amount of phoneposters i've seen on this site since coming back reaffirms my theory that iphones are the root of all retardation on the innanet. please leave, and come back with a proper machine. preferably when you are of age.
>>
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>>4874509
>>4874517
where’s the horses?
>>
>>4874511
>SAAAR BUY IFOON BENCHOD BASTERD
no
>>
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>>4874507
>itoddler
I'd be more embarrassed of admitting to phoneposting
>>
>>4874517
>oldfrogcacas literally offended by the concept of someone being outside and touching grass
>>
Fellas horses can't use phones
>>
>>4870363
profound
>>
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>>4874600
That's why horses usually post here using a desktop computer..
>>
>>4874585
everyone phoneposts whether you like it or not.
maybe instead of being such a miserable “oldfag” you should go with your other oldfags and circlejerk there
>>
>>4874802
>everyone
Nah, just the retards.
>>
Ugh just post horses instead of arguing
>>
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>>4875889
No fuck you, I'm posting a donkey instead.
>>
>>4875921
cute donk
>>
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>>4875921
donk snoofa
>>
>>4874600
My horse has sent multiple SMS messages. They are incomprehensible in any human language but she's done it
>>
>>
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HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
>>
Gookmoot fix pics flipping
>>
>>4874507
>viruses
Bro your whole phone is a virus
>>
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>>4876255
just slightly crop your photos faget
webm roulette
>>
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>>4876278
let’s try again
>>
>>4876278
Im straight, I'm not gay
>>
>>4876289
Straight up loving these horses
>>
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mweeeehhh...
>>
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Moved back to the land of brumbies. Finally have internet.
>>
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>>4876679
is this JAMES BAXTER?
>>
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>>4877552
Baxter’s a cute
>>
>>4876679
god i was that ball were me
>>
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>>4878011
If a horse laid on you like that you would be crushed to the tiniest of specks
>>
>>4877833
Janny's gonna freak!
>>
>>4866103
surf's up cherie
>>
>>4878039
I exist as a higher reality, steel needles bend against my flesh and stone crumbles beneath my fingers. I seek to be crushed by horses because women cannot.
>>
>>4878738
>because women cannot
Weak reasoning. You know in your heart that horses were superior from the first time you laid eyes on one.
>>
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Hooooorse
>>
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im gonna steal all the horse's Ketamine and there is nothing these low IQ creatures can do about it
>>
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Horses: Strong, beautiful, aesthetic, healthy in mind and spirit, useful for work and recreation

Ponies: Short, miserly, strangely proportioned, exists only as a novelty for children, wants to inflict pain and suffering on everything it sees

Why are they like this?
>>
>>4879735
are you telling me MLP lied to me?
>>
>>4879735
Wrong, ponies are necessary for entertaining horses on the paddock. That's important work.
>>
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>>4879898
>>
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>>4879879
Yes, ponies aren't magic they're evil
>>
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>>4879735
>>4879898
>>4879964
Wrong on all accounts. Ponies are for sending down into mines and pulling mine carts!
Much like dwarves, ponies aren't happy unless they are underground prospecting for gold and precious stones!
>>
>>4879987
>He doesn't know
>>
>>4879964
why would you post such savagery on a blue board?
>>
>>4879987
is that a museum?
how is that taxidermied pony so well preserved while standing outside exposed to the elements?
>>
>>4880139
How is that boy still intact?
>>
>>4880139
>>4880141
They probably take out the pony and the boy only for special museum occasions.
>>
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I hate how shit from this site keeps getting adopted by normalfags.
Now they're even taking our horse electrolytes.
>>
>>4880223
same happened with borzois.
absolutely no one cared about them until /an/ had regular lonboi/borzoi threads around 2016 or 17 and since then they exploded in popularity and memes
>>
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>>4880223
>horse electrolytes
go on
>>
>>4880290
Apparently there's a fad now where people buy horse goods since they're supposedly compatible with humans but in way bigger quantities at lower prices. So basically instead of buying energy drinks they buy horse electrolytes and mix them together with other juice to get similar results but for a fraction of the price.
I also remember some anons here using horse shampoo and how well it worked for them I guess that will be the next big fad.
>>
>>4880294
Mane And Tail shampoo has been sold in store beauty sections for ages. It was oroginally for horses but ended up being good for human hair too.
>>
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>>4880294
>Apparently there's a fad now where people buy horse goods since they're supposedly compatible with humans but in way bigger quantities at lower prices
I bought some mosquito repellent earlier this year "for horse and human", picrel. it's great. buying stuff in bulk is also great, and nothing new - I have an account at a local wholesaler
>I also remember some anons here using horse shampoo and how well it worked for them I guess that will be the next big fad.
mane and tail has been a thing for years
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>>4880305
i wish birds fucking did their damn job and just eat all those shits
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>>4880223
Normies will never truly get it though.
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A horse leaves this world. Its body will not go to waste.
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>>4880433
an intruder is snoofed into submission
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Remember when we watched Evenstar live until she gave birth 3 years ago?
What happened to her? The links aren't working anymore
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>>4880507
>offspring is a fully grown horse by now
Bros we're getting old
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>>4865960
Ah... the classic that started it all...
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>>4880433
I wish that was me
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>>4880545
What youtube channel is posting this horse face pov stuff
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>>4880818
pretty sure it's some tiktok shit
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>>4880507
Guess her doppelganger finally got her. rip.
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>>4880958
>>
can moose be honorary equines? >>4880481
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>>4881433
Split hooves can never be equine!
Zebras only barely count!
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>>4881599
Horse's inner monologue be like: "ZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGERZIGGER"
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>>4881599
there goes the neighborhood
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>>4881838
kys carlos
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>>4881599
Source? Slight chance I know that guy
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>>4874517
Sir, a second cup of lean has entered the chug challenge
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>>4882528
>That filename
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>>4880294
I've heard there's actually a component in that mixture like calcium or something that comes in a massive volume. It's too much for people, but horses can drink it fine. Like how a horse could drink way more beers than a human could.
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>>4882390
nice horse!
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>>4882986
>Like how a horse could drink way more beers than a human could.
How much wine do you think it would take to get a mare drunk? Asking for a friend
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Today we had to put down my horse. He was 27 and I'm 28, we had him since he was 9. He started showing signs of EPM about 6 months ago and we tried treating it, but it only made him have phases of comfort. RIP my nigga Steele
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>>4883300
F
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>>4883198
A lot, I wish we could still get green lit on these experiments still.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/sdfe/pdf/download/eid/1-s2.0-0024320567900410/first-page-pdf
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>risked a good job saying I'd never shoot a horse in the face
I'd do it again too.
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Pet the horse
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>>4883726
Boop snoot
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>>4883726
The last time I did that the horse filed a restraining order against me.
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can horses help you get fit?
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>>4884620
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>>4884620
>is even driving a Horsa
the dude is completely horsed
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The only good use for that retarded Tok site is horse videos but even that is really difficult with all the normalfag shit everywhere that would make your hair fall out instantly if you clicked it.
Their algorithm is still a bit "cleverer" than YT's since after a while if finally "gets" that you want to see horse videos. Then you get recommended a lot of horse content but only in the related videos next to a horse video you're currently watching.
If you fuck up and watch just one normalfag video it's all over though. For the next week or so you'll get nothing but retarded normans "dancing" like retards instead of horses.
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>>4884655
>primitive markings
0/10 should be killed for race mixing
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>>4884865
wtf
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>you're OOOOOOOOooold! you don't understaaaaaaaaaand!
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>>4884978
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>>4884626
RIP my nigga dude died doing what he loved
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apple says hi horsegen
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>>4885240
Hi Apple!
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>>4885240
Give an apple to the horse.
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>>4868628
is that zelenskyy
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>>4885584
>distraught mare faces the darkness after foal dies
Powerful image.
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>>4885584
>>4885596
That foal can't be dead. It is just heavily sleeping after birth. Why else would the owner clothe it?
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>>4885710
Anon...if a horse lays down for even a second...
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>>4885710
Death shroud. It's traditional horse funeral rites.
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>>4885240
Hi Apple
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>>4885240
Hello Apple
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>>4866893
um...is there a story behind that? Wtf happened here?
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>>4870080
what are you

>>>>>>>>implying
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>>4870363
I keked
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>>4885326
The deer has no money to donate so I doubt it
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>>4880290
unf steamy horse breath...
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>horse springs a leak
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>>4888408
She gave em a good kick to turn off the flow
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>>4888408
If you pretend to cry like a baby around lactating women they start blasting milk apparently.
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>>4888408
The milkies must flow
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I rode my horse through all these cows who were on heat. Like they have been induced to cycle at the same time with injections and with seeders inserted inside them. My horse is a bit of a cow horse I was cutting out a cow and her calf into the yards, all these other cows prepared to cycle for a breeding program and that one being the accident who was already pregnant.

My horse played up hard she didn't much want to work and kept stopping and sniffing at the ground. Is this normal around cattle on heat or was she just having a bad day or overwhelmed by the number of cows doing this at once (there was like 140)

I never came across it before, but never done such a breeding program before either



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