Once, I was a humble property owner. Now I’m a war correspondent reporting from my own living room. My tenant has declared independence — a new micronation founded on the sacred principle of “Rent Is a Colonial Concept.” The uprising began with delayed payments, then evolved into full-blown revolution. Furniture was repurposed into barricades, my IKEA table became a symbol of oppression, and the walls now bear slogans like “Landlords are Land-Lords. checkmate, serfs!” When I politely asked about rent, they responded with philosophical depth: “Money is a lie. Ownership is violence.” Then they threw a lamp at the patriarchy (and at me). They’ve since taken to performing interpretive tantrums. part protest, part performance art, all property damage. The neighbors think I’m filming a reality show called Keeping Up with the Squatters. I tried reasoning, then pleading, then Googling “how to evict a spiritual revolutionary.” The legal system shrugged: “Give them 90 days and a fruit basket.” Now I live outside my own house, a refugee of bureaucracy, watching through the window as my tenant hosts a rent-free festival of liberation and broken glass. I suppose this is progress. The tenant has transcended capitalism. I’ve transcended sanity. And together, we’ve proven that private property isn’t nine-tenths of the law — it’s just nine-tenths paperwork and one-tenth emotional damage. Still, I cling to hope. One day, when the revolution cools and the smoke detector stops screaming, I’ll reclaim my kingdom. Until then, I salute my captor. the People’s Tenant of Apartment 12B. long may they reign rent-free.
>>61226940Kek thread. Put me in the screencap
>>61226940This is honestly something about which you should talk to your airline pilot husband.
>>61226973Dafuq you told me property is the best way to make it in life??? 10 property for better outcome!
>>61226940the fuck debby gon do
>>61226940Stop using so many words. Read Stephen King, he knows words. He has the best words. You don't know words.
>>61227167King is a faggot and OP needs to hire some "thugs" to kindly ask the revolutionary to retreat or face revolting consequences.
