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Previous thread >>10009756
>How is your local comm?
>What is your comm doing for Halloween?

Vaguepost, gossip, vent... let it all out.
>>
>>10023356
OP pic is adorable but it lacks the one sulky goth in a corner and huddle of three classics wearing the same 3F bonnet in another corner.
>>
>>10023356

so like what happened at Kumoricon exactly. What was the shitshow. I want the horrid details.
>>
>>10023367
You already made a thread for this entire topic which reeks of vendetta. Stop already.
>>
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Any Australian gulls know what's going on with the Melbourne comm? It seems pretty dead and I haven't seen any news about a meet since joining six months ago
>>
>>10023356
Anybody please post more comm pics like this. Sincerely, a lonelita.
Also how is everybody in this photo wearing sweet. They all kind of look the same.
>>
>>10023548

Everyone's wearing AP, and nothing looks older than 2013, I think? Decoration Dream, Symphonia of Birds, Glass Bottle of Tears circa 2012, 2013?

So my bet is it's an old photo from an AP brand tea party. Might have even come from an official tea party report, so people don't feel shy about reposting it.

I wonder where those attendees are now, if they're still wearing lolita. This looks like a jolly good time.

The good news is you can probably get into one of those brand tea parties even as a lonelita. Reach out online to find others who are also going before you head there so you're not just sitting there alone by yourself not knowing what to do, bring a selfie stick and you can easily fill your time taking a lot of selfies with everyone even if you don't know people.
>>
>>10023508
yeah I’m a Melbourne lonelita and I wanna join a comm but there doesn’t look to be much going on :/
>>
>>10023438
Ntayrt but I didn't get to go, could you say what happened? I looked in the kumo thread but didn't see any kind of vendettas. Do you mean a different thread?
>>
>>10024059
Someone made a thread specifically whining about the tea party and how it wasn't good enough for them. It got deleted because all they could do was echo two specific complaints about food and goody bags.
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>>10024111
Oh i always see those kind of complaints
I thought it was going to be interesting.
>>
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for a sexond I was truly terrified
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>>10024318
What's up with all the anons lately that over comment on OP photos
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LA is incapable of finding a venue other than this one. Commence the mods rushing in to wk and defend themselves
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>>10025541
Im not from LA but is it a nice venue at least?

I couldnt be too mad if that was the case. My comm has this favorite tea spot people love to go to constantly. The price is reasonable, the food is good, and the decor is amazing for coord shots.
>>
>>10025541
I dont know the venue or the LA comm, but I have been part of multiple comms, and each one has an old reliable kind of tea house, usually used for ILD. I don't think it's so bad. It's kind of hard to find gorgeous venues like this.
>>
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so maybe this is more suited to the stupid questions thread but i wanted to start planning my own meets to help take some of the planning load off of my comm leader. i've only been in a comm for a few months, but as someone who grew up in a family who LOVES entertaining and planning silly stuff like this i think i should be able to pull it off properly.

a few questions:
What are the best venues to keep an eye on? Are some places better for bringing your own food or is it easier to order outside catering? are goodie bags a typical thing or is it just for bigger events? The meet i want to plan would be for Christmas, would setting up a secret santa be a fun idea or would it flop in a smaller comm? How far ahead should you start planning a meet? i know most meets require an rsvp or you have to buy a ticket in advance, but what's the easiest way to make sure people can commit to coming? is there a sweet spot of time in advance to ask people about dates?

i've planned tea parties before but never for lolitas, let alone planning a whole meet. Any advice would be super helpful!
>>
>>10025547
Too bad this place is none of the above. It's usually around 40 dollars for a seating, the food is 5/10, and it's in the middle of a busy downtown area. It's nice enough looking on the inside but that's really all there is to it.
>>
>>10025547
The venue holds a lot of people but the food and lighting isn't great. This place runs out of food quick and doesn't replenish it
>>
>>10025562
To answer some of your questions.

Goodie bags are usually only for larger events but if it's for christmas it could be suitable to your event.

The secret Santa sounds cute but you would definitely want to plan the event way ahead of time as a lot of girls would probably want to buy something cute online for their giftee.

If the event is free you just have to hassle people and make sure they come. Send them a message a bit before the event confirming their attendance. If the event is paid then set up tickets ASAP so you can get funds for planning (goodie bags, venue, food, etc). Since people are paying to go, its much less likely they'll flake out. Keep the ticket price reasonable especially if you are newer to the comm. Expensive events get a ton of whining from girls. I'd recommend maybe something $20-$40
>>
>>10025656
thank you so much anon this is so helpful! i hope i can pull it off, because i have a lot of cute ideas for future meets and i feel like if i can pull off a holiday meet i can do some smaller,cutesy ones
>>
>>10025575
I like the food, but it really depends on what you get there. If you don't like tea sandwiches, you probably won't enjoy the basic tea service. The Harvest tea and the Holiday tea have some good items.
>>
>>10025562
I would say the best venues are places with aesthetic, and good food. I would recommend a not too high price, since you already have a small comm, better not take chances with a $60 ticket price. Also, a place that will let you have a more private room. You don't want to end up in a place that is very public and open and deal with constant gawking.

You also want to post about the event as early as possible to get the hype going, even if you don't have a set ticket price. Then open up the payments a month in advance so that people can get their paychecks in order. It's especially important around the holidays since people have to budget for all the gifts, etc. Payment in advance is pretty much the only way to guarantee commitment. Make sure to let people know there is no refunds, and they are responsible for reselling their spot.

In my comm people try to make goodie bags for almost every meet, which is really cute. I say go for it, especially for a Christmas meet.

Secret Santa is kind of hard to pull off without people being left out. I suggest doing a white elephant instead. That way, only the people that brought gifts can participate, and people can choose gifts that are more their aesthetic, and even trade later. My comm did this and it was a huge success. Everyone actually brought fantastic gifts and no one was disappointed.

For your very first meet I would suggest recruiting a helper or cohost. It does get a bit stressfull planning the costs, activities, goodie bags, and finding info on venues, and thats if you aren't even bringing your own food. Someone to help plan goodie bag contents or help you set up before the meet would be nice, and also a good bonding activity with another lolita.
>>
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Does anyone know where i can buy my ticket for the christmas tea party in montreal? I can't find anything about it on the facebook page.
>>
>>10023363
And the ita furry with cat ears. My comm is pretty well dressed overall but for some reason, every large event has at least one cat-eared ita. It’s not always the same one, either.
>>
>>10026327
I don't know if cat ears are still ita. There's a pattern for a pair of them in August's OnS.
>>
>>10026455
The halloween happy pack from innocent world came with cat ears this year
>>
>>10026504
They're wolf ears.
>>
>>10025562
I don't have any advice that hasn't already been given, but I want to let you know that this will be hugely appreciated by the comm leader. I'm one myself and organising meets can be exhausting. If I'm sick or unavailable, they just don't happen, nobody steps up. Hopefully others will follow your example, too.

I hope your meets go great!
>>
>>10026455
imo cat ears arent inherently ita
If you are poorly dressed, they dont match the theme, or they are poor quality/western shit then yes they look bad.

Brands put out cute cat ears all the time. Misako wears them. And I think they look really cute if you are wearing a cat dress (Vanilla Chan, Dolly Cat, etc)
>>
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I'm really interested in knowing random things about other people's communities if anyone wants to take part. Feel free to take out questions if you don't want to answer them

>How strict is member screening for your local comm? Do prospective new members have to fill out a questionnaire or do something beyond clicking "JOIN" to join?

>Do you let in itas in the hope that they improve or are they instantly rejected?

>Do you have an age restriction?

>How many members in your comm? How many are actually active?

>How often does your comm have meets?

>Do you hold craft/baking/sewing meets?

>Are meets organised by mods/comm leaders or does everyone take turns to host?

>Do you have many casual meets or are they all special occasions? Or vice versa?

>How many years has your local comm been active?

>What's the most popular substyle in your comm?

>Does your comm allow people to wear other closely related fashion to meetups (Otome, J-goth) or is it strictly lolita?

>Does your comm have local trends that aren't common elsewhere? E.g. everyone has the same type of parasol, same brand of shoes, similar hair and makeup etc
>>
>>10024320
Are there truly more or are your panties in such a bunch right now that you're actively noticing them more often?

I saw the same thing in the OP photo and I was about to share the same cropped image. It's funny, anon-chan.

Unrelated note, my itty bitty comm needs winter activities - what are some of your favourite things to do in the winter, anons?
>>
>>10026597
Ice skating can be fun if people want to wear something a little more casual.

Christmas markets are great, especially if it's a real oldschool looking one with individual little log cabins for shops/food. Fantastic fun and usually great photo material.
>>
>>10026593
>How strict is member screening for your local comm? Do prospective new members have to fill out a questionnaire or do something beyond clicking "JOIN" to join?
Yes, Facebook has made this much easier in recent years though. In the past our based mods sent each applicant a message with a couple brief questions ("what got you interested in lolita/how long have you been interested/what are some of your favorite styles") to filter the sissies and spammers.
>Do you have an age restriction?
The comm doesn't (unless the facebook TOS counts???) but sometimes meets do if they involve alcohol.
>Are meets organised by mods/comm leaders or does everyone take turns to host?
Mods/leaders don't hold the reins on this, but there's definitely people who are more "go-getter" about planning stuff and the majority don't even bother trying to suggest anything.

>Do you have many casual meets or are they all special occasions? Or vice versa?
Roughly even.

>Does your comm allow people to wear other closely related fashion to meetups (Otome, J-goth) or is it strictly lolita?
Sometimes, especially to casual meets or con tea parties. For things like ILD that are a ticketed, limited admission event it's generally STRONGLY ENCOURAGED you both wear lolita and don't drag a spouse/SO/kid who isn't into a spot an actual comm member could have had.
>>
>>10026327
anon all of the big lolita brands consistently release animal ear headpieces it only gets ita when it's like "DESU DESU LETS PUT THIS NEON GREEN STRIPED SOCKS WITH THIS BURGANDY DRESS AND OFC IM A NEKO NII SO NEKOOO EARSS (that are 5 bucks at the local con)"
>>
>>10026721
Cheap/unmatching ears are going to cheapen an outfit too. You could have the most beautiful black AP cat ears and when you pair them with a pink coord... cheap. Tacky. Ears that look cheap, fun fur or cheaply made things, those are always bad.
>>
>>10026597
Ha you sure did have a problem with that question. Maybe you should try chilling out sometime.
>>
>>10026849
>brand piece is suddenly less in price value because it wasn't coordinate to an anon's standards
yea ok.

Christ on a fucking cracker. Why does everyone on this board rely on the words "cheap and tacky" to describe everything.
>>
>>10027566
What other words are you suggesting, anon?
Do you honestly think that dollar bin accessories look good?
If it's made out of shitty penny-a-meter fabric and notions, it's going to look bad.

Same thing for ill-fitting pieces. Do you legitimately think a gold pair of shoes looks good if it's the only gold in the whole coord? Or how about a blue bluse with no other blue represented? You sound unimaginative and dull.
>>
>>10027576
Did you not read what I said? How is something cheap just because it was not coordinated appropriately? AP cat ears are still AP. That ain't cheap unless you're fucking like 10k anon.

The original argument is that AP cat ears could look good if coordinated appropriately, like matching the theme and/or color of the outfit.
If cat ears are shoehorned into a coord, they don't decrease in value magically, ya numbskull.

The only people who sound dull and like they are lacking in imagination are the anons who repeat the phrase "cheap and tacky" to no fucking end.
>>
>>10026593
Mods check join requests and don't approve obvious sissies etc. Anyone lolita is let in, however ita (there's an "elite" comm nearby that only sends invites to people that wear brand and has an age restriction but it's not very active). No age restriction. Hundreds of members I wish mods would cull because many are obviously not lolitas. Meets maybe once a month with 6-15 attendees typical, 25+ on ILDs. I'm guessing there are 50-60 actual lolitas in the area and about 20 of them wear lolita semi-regularly. No craft meets in past few years. Mod organised a lot but its small enough that anyone can host pretty much by just asking if people want to go to X activity on Y date. Most are food and an exhibition of some sort since we have a a lot of local museums. Not sure, definitely more than six years. Over half sweet but we have quite a lot of gothic. Other jfashion okay but very rarely happens. No local trends I can think of.
>>
>>10026593
>dreamed I saw Chinese exchange student in JM at a vintage store and invited her to join local comm
>attends one meet and looks obviously uncomfortable because of itas and annoying brolita
>never shows up again
>mfw woke up and realised this would probably happen IRL if anyone new ever joined

That about sums up my comm.
>>
>>10027631
Aww, did you miss your nap today anon?
Where did anyone say anything about monetary value? Cheap is an adjective. Even thousand dollar fur coats can /look/ cheap. I shouldn't have to spoonfeed you this much but I think I'm a glutton for punishment.
Again, what are you suggesting we use other than cheap and tacky?
>>
>>10027695
>Aww, did you miss your nap today anon?
You sound disgusting.

You haven't spoonfed anything you legit mental midget. Keep parroting words you fucking parrot.

What about
>hideous
>lame
>doesn't work with
>terrible
>awful
>poorly chosen
>ill fitting
>out of place

All that said, if you got a pair of nice AP cat ears and there are cats on the print, you get a pass from me but hey, I don't offer samefaggy concrit like most anons. So unless you actually have more than one kind of opinion, this mentality probably isn't for you.
>>
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>>10028217
Finally, some answers.

Yeah, some of those are pretty good, and I'll probably use them if I see something that doesn't just look like cheap trash.

If some ita shows up looking like pic related (even if they're brand), if her coord doesn't match, guess what- cheap as hell.


Related to the thread: Does anyone have problems with members of your comm always wanting to go back to the same two or three places? A favourite mediocre cafe? A tourist spot that you've seen a dozen times? What do you do?
>>
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>>10028217
>>10028362
>>
>>10026455
>>10026721
I’m not talking about nice animal ears here, and the animal ears aren’t the only reason I’m calling them ita. They’re ita because their main pieces are the worst that Bodyline has to offer, cheap AliExpress or downright Milanoo, they’re wearing plastic eBay twin tail wigs or their hair is fried to high hell and dyed green, their shoes are ballerina flats or flip flops, etc. The crappy eBay cat ears are just the cherry on top. There are several itas like this in my comm and they almost exclusively turn up for big events for some reason.
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>>10027679
Toronto?
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>>10028514
Not even the right continent, sorry. Aside from the splinter comm this setup is standard for most comms I've seen.

I'm surprised a city as big as Toronto would have so few lolitas turning up to meets.
>>
>>10028523
It was the hundreds of members who mostly dont wear lolita and dead meets that made me think of toronto. Anime north means that cosplayers join en masse every year. We also have a good portion of goths to sweet ratio which is rare if youre not european
>>
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What is your comm mom like? Describe her without naming her. If your comm had a family structure what would it be like?
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>>10028994
Funny enough she's one of the smallest in height and amongst the youngest (almost mid twenties).
She's very caring but very anxious. She calls us "my children" as a joke,has hands that are warm to hold,always has some meds in her bag,some tissues,... She'll glare daggers at any normie being rude and make sure everyone had a good time afterwards.
Also she brings freshly baked goods that her and her SO made to some meets.
>>
>>10029009
she sounds lovely
>>
>>10028994
Loud and gregarious but also kind. Mid 30s. Good at wrangling a big group. A lil ita sometimes but in a relatable way. Would lend you her blouse or petti and go without if something bad happened to yours.

>>10029009
That's so nice. Glad you have a cool comm mom. Wish mine baked cookies
>>
>>10029031
>A lil ita sometimes but in a relatable way
This is what I aspire to become some day
>>
>>10028994
i'm newer to my comm but our comm mom is sweet gentle and has best taste in music, she's cool and i'm intimidated to talk to her unless i have to. 10/10 love my comm mom
>>
>>10029031
Yours sounds a lot like mine! She's been into Lolita for well over a decade, always has something hilarious too say and hand makes all her own pieces. She doesn't get a chance to come too meets much anymore, I really miss her!
>>
>>10028362
Cheap doesn't mean "doesn't match". Are you esl??
>>
>>10029442
beatingadeadhorse.jpg
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>>10029467
get out
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>>10029476
Smell my butt, ma'am.
>>
Why does ILD always attract itas? My comm is like 99% ita free but if there's going to one at a meet it is ILD without fail.
>>
>>10029580
Maybe because ILD meets are typically hyped up so lurkers are more likely to notice and want to go?
>>
>>10029580
Because they see it like comic con rather than just a meet up
>>
My comm sucks. No one wants to spend more than $15 on meetings, people confirm their presence and then cancel at the event day, our last comm lider was an ita who wore replicas and hideous things and didn't bother to make reservations or, sometimes, even show up at the meetings that she was hosting. She was also very nasty with some of the other girls in the community and when those girls pointed it out they were treated like they were just trying to bring drama to the comm. On top of it, when someone decides to hang out with only their lolita friends, without the rest of the community, they are called elitists and acused to divide the comm for the very same people who don't want to spend any money going out and cancel their presence in the last minute.
>>
>>10029580
My comm is pretty big but most meets are usually only like 13 to 15 people showing up, and sometimes if its a really good meet we get like 20.
The FB group has something to 300 members tho and I never meet the same people twice which is fun but I get the sense that these girls treat ILD like a holiday. And it just so happens winter ILD is a convenient way to smash all the holidays together.
So I'd say about 50 or so girls show twice a year. Its been a blast all the times I went even tho it seems common place to bitch about the food. But it really feels like a holiday get together where you get to see all your old cousins or something. Even in the summer.
>>
I find 80% of the people in my comm boring af.
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>>10029701
lol
>>
>>10029701
That really sucks anon, if you go out with your friends and someone that cancels regularly whines about it CALL THEM OUT!

Our comm luckily has a three strike rule, people that drop without notifying the host 3 times get booted.
>>
>>10029701
PDX?
>>
>>10029738
We call them out, no one cares
It would be very nice to have such a rule
>>
>>10029751
No, but I'm impressed there's another comm facing the same issues
>>
>>10029728

Same, they seem really fake and one-sided. I prefer when there are smaller meets because the girls attending seem more genuine and sweet. And shy.
>>
>>10029580
ILD is like ita and n00b debut day. They see the holiday and the extravagant meets and think "Wow, this is a perfect time to make my lolita debut, I can be a real lolita!" It's like a convention for them. I see it more with winter ILD but that may just be my comm.
>>
>>10029701
Canadian?
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>>10029738
lol in our comm, the food is all paid for before the event. if someone drops out, we divide up their food and take it to go. their loss.
>>
>>10025541
do you have a suggestion for a better venue?
>>
>>10028994
Late 20s, been in the fashion for 5 or 6 years I believe. Short but slightly intimidating. Gives advice and helps you find the missing piece to your coord, and will let you borrow even her expensive brand bags for an event if you ask her ahead of time.
>>
Anyone else a little conflicted about the AZ winter ILD coming up?
Yuletide would be a cool theme except it's being run by L who is a really obnoxious sjw edgelord and I dont know if I want to pay $60 for Halloween-mas. Not to mention it's in Tuscon. Again.
>>
>>10028362
>The same mediocre tea room every time

It's not even the only one in the city, the others have much larger selections of tea, food, and desserts. I think they like it because it's on the cheap side. I go there because I like going to meets but I hate it, and it's embarrassing going there so many times a year
>>
>>10030170
Summer ILD is always in Phoenix, Winter in Tucson so it’s always fair. Tucson girls always drive up to Phoenix, so I’m not sure why you’re bitching about driving to Tucson when we always have carpools. What about us who don’t live in either city? We still drive out to see both of you. Either plan your own meet or quit bitching. Or don’t bother coming because no one wants to deal with your salty ass anyways.
>>
>>10030170
>It's being run by 4-5 people not one

So then don't go or make your own meet? It''ll weed out the broke people and casual itas
>>
>>10029751
That sounds nothing like pdx except for the "hanging out with friends is elitist" thing which is a common issue.
>>
>>10030193
Organise a meet and pick another venue? Unless only mods organise in your comm.
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>>10030170
>someone mentions AZ
>its either "I hate this comm they're cheapskates who never do anything interesting and they're all ita!" or
>"I hate this comm this meet is too expensive and its ~weird~ and I don't like who's running it and its far!"
>every single time

Plan your own shit then, by all means.
>>
>>10030432
L2read please.

I dont have a problem with the price specifically, but i dont know if it is worth it to pay $60 when the following is also in place:
I'd have to drive from Glendale anyway.
It will likely be trying too hard to be edgy based on L running it. Itll be like Halloween 2.0 and I'm not about to pay $60 for a meet we've already done this year.

I just wanted to see if other people were having the same doubts as me, but any time AZ is brought up, the mods come here and scream at everyone until the thread is deleted. I guess I shouldnt have expected anything different this time.
>>
>>10030358
I did and no one came but a couple marked interested and going so I was sitting around waiting, why embarrass myself again
>>
>>10029787
That's not us tho.
I've paid literal hundreds to attend pdx meets before.
>>
>>10030447
Its cute how you think the mods are the only ones calling you out on this when the entire comm uses cgl. I'd be surprised if H or C even responded to you, based on the fact that all the responses are coherent and free of typos. L isn't the only one running it but if you're concerned why don't you just ask for more details about what's being planned before you throw down on the money and time? I think that's a reasonable request, more reasonable than bitching to cgl about it as if that'll change anything.
>>
>>10030458
How? I've never seen a ticket exceed $65. Con tea parties doesn't count since the con requires you to buy a badge
>>
>>10030447
Do you even know what Yuletide is? If L wanted Halloween 2.0 I’m sure she wouldn’t have bothered to pick Yuletide as a theme.
And have you ever bothered planning a nicer meet before or talked to someone who has? 99.99% of the time ticket price covers the venue rental and food. Gift bags, decorations and raffle items are paid out of pocket by hosts. Nicer venues and meals mean higher costs and higher ticket prices. You should be happy there are people in your comm willing to shell out for meets hosted in venues with our own private space, somewhere other then the same tiny, over-crowded public tea house year after year.
>>
>>10030486
Not that anon but travel expenses play a big role into cost, friend.
>>
>>10029031
Aww, she sounds precious! I wish my comm had a “motherly” figure of sorts. We have a lady who tries to be but she’s just.... very ita and annoying.
>>
>>10030475
>>10030615
"Hey I feel uneasy about this thing"

>REEEEEEEEEEEE WHATTHEFUCKISWRONGWITHYOUGOPLANYOUROWNMEETUPWEDONTWANTYOUTHEREHOWDAREYOUINSULTOURGLORIOUSLEADERSYOUREAPOORFAGEHOCANTAFFORDORPLANORWIPEYOUROWNASS

Never change, AZ comm. I dont know why I'd ever think I could have a legitimate complaint without people having an autistic seizure when they hear it
>>
>>10030743
Its not an autistic seizure, you just don't have very valid points. Sorry?
>>
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>>10030748
I do though? And no one has come up with any counter arguements other than "plan yer own meetup" and "well she isnt the ONLY one planning it"

Both of which are invalid be abuse
1. We all know damn well of the drama that would ensue if someone were to plan an alternate meetup

2. L is the only one who seems to be posting regularly on the event and has all the updates.

Which, by the way, for the anon who said she wasn't trying to make Yuletide edgy, what the fuck do you even call these bizarre descriptions she gave for it?
>>
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>>10030753
>>
>>10030753
>anon who said she wasn't trying to make Yuletide edgy, what the fuck do you even call these bizarre descriptions she gave for it?

Again: Do you even know what Yuletide is?

As far as there being multiple hosts, it looks like L just made the event page and didn’t bother adding any additional hosts. Why not? Who knows. But I actually talk to people in the comm instead of throwing pointless shade on cgl, and getting upset when I’m called out.
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>>10030762
I interact with the comm too?

Please read my initial comment. Where exactly was the shade thrown? I said I was "a little conflicted"
And I only became upset when people lost their shit over something so small
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>>10030651
If anon paid hundreds of dollars to travel to PDX for a meet then their statement doesn’t make any sense. The meet could have been free but they’d still have to pay that travel expense, so I don’t see why they’d post that as a rebuttal.
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>>10030770
Please reread your own comment. You insulted the host, complain about the theme, and complain about the location. People respond if you don’t like the theme, host or location then host your own meet and gave you a breakdown of what ticketed events pay for and what the hosts pay for. Sorry you’re an idiot.
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>>10030651
Ah. I was interpreting that as you paid hundreds of dollars for the event itself
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>>10030780
Since you apparently cant read, I'll dissect my original comment for you:

>Anyone else a little conflicted about the AZ winter ILD coming up?
I am on the fence about whether or not I want to go and I am looking to see if others felt the same since there were only 10 RSVPs so far.

>Yuletide would be a cool theme except...
I dont have anything against the theme. I actually think it could be cool BUT...

> it's being run by L who is a really obnoxious sjw edgelord
I dont like L. Sue me.

>and I dont know if I want to pay $60 for Halloween-mas.
Because L is running it, and based on her posts, it seems shes trying too hard to be "so spooky" about the whole thing. I dont have an issue with the price, I have an issue with whether or not it'll be worth it to go, when L seems to be turning it into a Pagan circle jerk.

>Not to mention it's in Tuscon. Again.
I feel like every ILD is hosted in Tuscon or at the English Rose (which is also way too far imo)


IN SUMMARY
I dont have an issue with the price, location, or even L being there. It's the combination of all of those things that made me wonder if it was worth it. I wanted to get other peoples opinions on it, but apparently you cant ask about AZ without AZ collectively screaming in your face.
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>>10030447
Do you even fucking know L?
She planned last year's winter ILD and it was great. Plus as another anon mentioned its being hosted by a number of people.

You sound cheap af. Maybe you should have thought about the fact that ILD comes twice each year and planned ahead, choosing either Halloween or ILD if your broke ass can't afford both.

Also if you know anything about the comm, you know there are always carpool threads because the comm is basically split between Phoenix and Tuscon and everyone drives.

I don't see you planning an elaborate ILD meet in Phoenix.
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>>10030753
>>10030754
You are reading way too much into this. They are combining the winter ILD and Christmas meet. The text is just to add interest. That's all there is to it.
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>>10030834
Again...the money itself is not the issue. The whole conversation began because I was wondering if it was worth the $60 AND long drive for a meetup hosted by L, because she seems like shes trying hard to make the meetup edgy.

Stop defaulting to "lel ur poor" when you don't have a valid argument. I have the money, I'm just trying to decide if it is worth it to pay.
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I really miss my comm. I'm doing a study abroad for a year in Japan and it's really wonderful, I love living here and getting to go to closet child whenever I want, but I really miss my comm. I see something and I think "oh, if x was here she'd love this!" or "this would be a perfect place for a meet, x would go crazy for these parfaits!" and such, and get really sad.
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>>10030834
The bitching in this thread is fucking painful, I'm from a different area but I looked it up and holy shit, it's only 1hr 45 between these cities.

How is this an issue? The cities in my area are all way father apart than that. I just don't go to meets anymore since I'm 3 hours away from the city and no one lives near me
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>>10025541
Don't girls complain about this venue after every meetup that is hosted there?
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>>10030895
I. A. I wish I had a comm to bitch about. The closest city is 4 hours away from me and even then no one wants to pay for anything more then a happy meal at MickeyD’s. Lone Lolita life isn’t bad, I just wish I had meets of substance to attend that weren’t half a days drive away.
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>>10030901
Anon don't feel too sad. I used to live in a city with a tiny community. Our meets were 3 people walking around a crappy mall. Now we have 100 members and tons of interpersonal drama. Sometimes I miss it being my niche hobby and not having to be around a bunch of entitled weirdos with no social skills.
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>>10030913
Same. We used to have a tight knit comm until one of the veteran lolitas started to feel threatened and made up lies about a bunch of the other established lolitas. Now the comm is all itas and newbies.
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I figured this was the most appropriate place, even though it's not *my* comm per se, but maybe her comm members will see. I recently bought a dress from the user RisseTensai on LM on the vetted discord and it was the single most awful buying experience of my life.

On August 28, I paid RisseTensai a non-refundable $10 to hold a like new, worn once, Holy Lantern Zipper JSK in red, with free shipping. The hold lasted until I got back from travelling on September 14. At that time, I started paying the dress on a payment plan, along with two handkerchiefs I was also purchasing. I paid for the dress (not including the handkerchiefs) $300, which I thought was reasonable, if maybe a little high, for a dress in like new condition. I would have one month/until October 14 to finish paying the dress off. I sent the last installment on October 6. She shipped the package out on October 10.

I received the dress on October 19 before I left for work. I verified the dress and handkerchiefs were in the package, and thanked her at the time. When I got home later that night, I realized that the dress had two major stains and two minor stains on the front of the dress in highly visible locations.
(1/2)
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>>10031034
I was not able to ascertain the nature of the stains, but my best guess was that they were oil/grease based, perhaps from a sauce of some sort. One of the stains was severe enough to have bled through to the lining.

At this time, I decided to ask about a partial refund. Risse apologized for having not seen the stains, and not inspecting it well and offered a $20 refund or the cost of dry cleaning. I was reluctant to send the dress back, having been an international shipment, so I said I would be willing to take it to the dry cleaners and see if the stains came out. If it did, I'd take the refund of the cost of dry cleaning and be done with it. If not, I wanted a refund of $75 for the damage, in addition to the dry cleaning cost.

She declined to accept this plan, so instead at my own cost ($35) I paid to send the dress back to Australia. I shipped it back on October 20.

The package arrived on October 29. At this time, she sent me a payment through Paypal Goods and Services of $280. I understood that there was a nonrefundable $10 deposit, which I understood and accepted. Upon asking why she sent $280 instead of $290, she stated that she was keeping $10 for shipping because I kept the handkerchiefs. Having had enough of the situation, I declined to contest the fee, but i was irritated as the dress had included free shipping, and two handkerchiefs were a negligible additional weight. I then realized she had sent it goods and services, instead of refunding the invoice, so a ~$16 fee was deducted. I had to refund her the payment, and asked her to refund it through the invoice. At this time she stated she couldn't figure out how to refund part of an invoice, and that she would also need to wait until the refund I sent her cleared. I had to inquire about the status of the refund twice before she sent it on November 2, a full four days later.

I will not be purchasing from her again, and I'd advise other people do not either.
(2/2)
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>>10031035
Oh, here's an imgur album of the photos I sent her when I was showing the stains.

https://imgur.com/a/rCdS3Po
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>>10031034
>>10031035
I'd say you're best off posting this in the general, it'll be seen by more people and will hopefully help someone to avoid a negative experience. I'm sorry about what happened to you anon! I hope something good comes your way to make you feel better soon.
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>>10030898
Yup, there's a bunch of actually good tea places in that part of the city. But they pick the one with mediocre food and a 3 star rating.
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>>10030995
Sounds a lot like my comm nowadays. Unfortunately the lies spread aren’t exactly harmless vendetta shit, either, so it’s ruined many relationships between members.
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What's going on with Oklahoma comm? The fb page is gone.
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This OP picture gives me life
I wish I could attend an event like this at least once...
Too bad my comm is tiny
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>>10031035
Wow what a cunt. Your offer to her was very reasonable. Shes never going to get $300 for the dress with those damages
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>>10031035
That's disgusting. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
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>>10030811
Dw anon, this always happens because all the event host/mods lurk on cgl. I remember a couple years back for the LA ILD meetup, someone dared to say they thought the desserts provided were lacking, and the mods absolutely lost their shit. The same old “REEE PLAN YOUR OWN MEET!!!”
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>>10031250
You could go to a con tea party or international event.
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Does anyone have any experience with the Singapore Comm? I’ll be going there for a short trip and was hoping to meet some of the locals.
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>>10031247
Nah it’s still there, you’re just blocked.
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>>10031413
It's disgusting you're still using art of an ex member that you all blocked.
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>>10031413
>>10031475
Deets? You must of fucked up pretty bad to be booted without warning.
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>>10031490
Nah the mods just block anyone that's friends with people that don't like.
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>>10031475
Nobody blocked her or booted her as far as I know. If she left it was on her own accord. Maybe quit trying to start shit if you don’t know any of the deets, friend.
>>10031493
Plenty of members are friends with the others and still in the comm and aren’t blocked. Sorry your lil feefees are still hurt, I guess?
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>>10031315
The LA mods also ban people for interpersonal drama or plan 3 meets in one month when comm members complain about the lack of meets then hold nothing for months. RIP
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>>10031413
>>10031475
>>10031490
>>10031493
>>10031587
I wish you all would just fucking stop and make up so everything can be normal again. I miss the way it used to be before everyone started hating eachother, spreading lies, being paranoid, starting pointless shit over things no one even fucking cares about. Why can everyone just be the adults they try so hard to prove that they are and actually talk this shit out, get it straightened out and apologize to eachother? Why? Nobody trusts eachother anymore and it’s so fucking stupid. Both comm groups are so stupidly desperate to one up and make the other look bad and it’s so old. Just fucking talk to eachother and quit whining and pointing fingers like babies.
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>>10031035
The IRONY when you realise that RisseTensai is the mod of her local sales comm
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Outsider looking in from a chill comm, how and why in hell do comms end up with drama and vendetta? Anything that has ever happened for us has been nipped in the bud early on, like do people not talk to each other in US communities? Does everyone think life is like bitchy tv shows where everyone is plotting against each other for God knows what? Do people enjoy it?

I can't imagine someone getting away with shit like that in our comm. Like if ya gotta bitch about someone, at least get it off your chest quietly and don't create an issue for the community.
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>>10031698
Probably a combination of either very large or very small communities, long-standing groups where people have history, and the general tendency of j-fashion to attract attention whore types who are eager to start or involve themselves in shit.

Also, its important to realize that what you see leak out on cgl or btb isn't necessarily reality. My comm is talked about here sometimes but the people who actually go to meets and interact on the comm page are fine, chill, and everyone has fun. Its the people who just sit and armchair about it that insinuate all these wild rumors. Are some of them true? In part, but not to the degree anons like to describe. Its not a fuckin sitcom.


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>>10031698
Talking only works when both people want to come to a solution. If one person doesn't see a problem with her behavior, there's only so much you can do. I'm in a situation where I have a mod who doesn't like me. Instead of dealing with her all the time, I plan smaller meets for my friends on the side. As far as planning meets for the group, I've tried to step back from that a bit.
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>>10031639
Why would you want to make up with someone whose shown how much of a massive cunt she can be?
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>>10031698
>>10031698
In my comm, 99% of us vent privately to one person if someone annoys or pisses us off. Once we vent, we’re good and get over it and move on like adults. Unfortunately we have one or two people who like to complain about everyone being ita, meets not being good enough and not held where they want them to be held instead of taking the initiative to plan their own meets. Honestly if these few people could just vent privately like adults you’d never hear about us because we’re a pretty chill comm, and whatever is posted here tends to be blown WAY out of proportion. My comm has had worse drama and drama mongers then has been posted here, but she was dealt with privately without bitching and complaining on cgl, so most of the comm doesn’t even know that it ever happened until after she was expelled. The way it should be.
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>>10031698
Try having sociopaths gaslight and manipulate people in return for favoritism and perks in the community. That pretty much sums it up honestly.
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>>10031779
I think in general comms will keep the serious drama to themselves. I'll vent on here occasionally, but it's always petty stuff. If a real problem arises, I'm behind the mods/comm regardless of my personal feelings.
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>>10031698
The issue is that people don’t always click. It happens, and places like here like to ham it up but most drama is that two people are not getting along and a bunch of outsiders gossiping about it for fun. Do people enjoy it? Well /cgl/ is drama filled so yeah, they do. So many posts are asking for deets on stuff, and it’s actualky natural to talk about others. Don’t take things here as fact, it’s always exaggerated for fun.
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>>10031787
>gaslighting
>favoritism

Last time I checked communities just went out and held meets and called it a day. Not everyone is gonna get along and some people are attention whores that's just how normal life is. Ignoring people and moving on is free, you should try it sometime.
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>>10031698
Pretty much. My comm actually isn't great but you NEVER hear about it on here because people don't want to drag the comm's name through the mud by complaining openly on /cgl/. They either vaguepost here without naming the comm or complain to close friends. When I can't stand something I bitch to my partner, not online.
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>>10031757
Your ALL massive cunts.
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>>10031818
>Ignoring people and moving on is free, you should try it sometime.
I suggested this in a thread once and several anons went off on me. It was pretty hilarious but I think some people here feel like they are obligated to attend meets or something.

Why else would people force themselves to go to meets that they don't truly enjoy?
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>>10031948
People in general don't seem to understand it's just clothes, you don't have to join a group, post pictures online, or be part of the online "community" essentially just to wear clothes.
It sounds silly but you see so many people doing shit like selling all their clothes when they leave the "community" and generally tying up the community drama into their enjoyment of wearing clothes. It's just clothes. you put them on and wear them inside or outside, or don't. You don't need a group of people to do this, especially not when it just creates stress
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>>10031957
I'll add that I used to like being in a group because I felt more "protected" being around other lolitas than on my own. However this isn't true, more people actually come up, ask if it's a play, and take pictures when it's a group.
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>>10026505
nayrt but even worse

>joking but only kind of
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>>10031860
You’re
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>>10031034
I saw the negative feedback she left you lmao. You need to report it to the mods desu!
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>>10031860
LOL maybe you should go to a real school to learn proper Grammer instead of sitting on your ever enlarging ass.
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>>10032074
*grammar
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>>10032076
Got em
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>>10032076
She could have meant that anon needs to take a class and learn about the lead of the TV show Frasier
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Can the girl in the UK sales stop posting that bloody dreamy baby room, it’s not worth £240.
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>>10032145
this. i remember she listed it on lm for sale "one day only" surprise surprise, it's still up.
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>>10032132
I just envisioned a room full of lolitas all watching Frasier and taking notes....
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>>10032163
She originally listed it for £300 but graciously dropped to £240. If she so desperately needed money she should know how reselling works.
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>>10032074
wtf does real school even mean? we are all finished with school minus a few younger ones. you don’t even know who I am how would you know I’m not one of the small girls?
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>>10031961
Same here, I used to find the walk to a meet alone the most agonising part of the meet but nowadays it's way more relaxing for me than walking round in a big group (bonus points if loud itas or huge brolitas are in tow).
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>>10031315
Ok cannoli-chan, go outside for a bit....
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>>10030995
Canada?
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>>10031698
My comm is similar to this anon’s:
>>10031725
>the people who actually go to meets and interact on the comm page are fine, chill, and everyone has fun. Its the people who just sit and armchair about it that insinuate all these wild rumors
It’s like drama-mongering is inversely proportional to how active someone actually is in both the community and lolita as a fashion. I’ve noticed that the people who spread the most ridiculous rumours and blow everything out of proportion on social media are the ones who attend meetups less than once a year and hardly have any coords. They catch wind of something like a minor misunderstanding at a meetup and then take to social media to yell about how this proves that the entire comm is an elitist cult with corrupt mods abusing their power to bully specific members for no reason!!!1 Everything they say makes it very obvious to those of us who were actually there that they have no clue what they’re talking about and are just making shit up for drama’s sake, but to onlookers on BtB and cgl it looks like our comm is a nest of vipers. It’s really very frustrating, especially when they’re doing it anonymously so there’s no way for us to prove that they’re the ones spreading lies. Then when the mods make an open post on the comm page asking for community feedback/discussion it’s crickets.mp3, with at most one or two comments from people who admit that they have no idea what’s up but they heard there’s bullying and that’s totally unacceptable and they’re so disappointed in our community because aren’t lollies supposed to be lovelies?!?
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>>10032710
That’s not to say that active members never gossip. We do. But the worst things that ever happened IRL were misunderstandings that could be resolved easily by just talking about it like adults. I’ve been in this comm for close to eight years and if you don’t spend too much time on BtB, cgl and Amino, drama is practically nonexistent. Yet there are these people who have almost no involvement with the comm who claim that it’s super dramatic and catty and we’re all terrible people. It’s like there are two X area comms, the chill one I’m involved with and an evil Mirror Universe one that only exists in some people’s heads.
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>>10032565
Yes.
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>>10029781
Unfortunately calling them out isn't enough. This comm needs a three-strike system and ask for non-refundable deposits before a meet, make a deadline date for when payments have to be in, that helps a lot
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>>10029738
Is there a time limit for notifying the host? Some people in my comm are flaky as hell but they’ll send the host a message the morning of the meet or like, an hour before it’s scheduled to start so technically they didn’t drop out without telling anyone. It really sucks to be hosting a meet and find out on your way to the location that half the people you were expecting to see have dropped out.
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>>10033092
Just reread our comm rules and there's no time limit. If you report a bunch of people months after the meet, I'm sure the mods may find that a little odd though. The mods have a survey form hosts fill out to report no call/no shows so the mods can keep track. The people who host often almost always collects money for a meet ahead of time so if people bail they won't he stuck with their bill.
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>>10032349
Right on cue, just like >>10031315
said, kek.
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>>10031156
I would be delightful if someone other than the usual girls would step in and host a meet. It is a complete shame the mods offer wonderful prizes in the raffle whilst every thing else is mediocre. I am sure that by now the raffle prizes are why most of the girls attend.
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>>10033072
SOL comm?
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>>10033302
Doesn’t sound like it, don’t be so drama hungry. There is other places in Canada, even a French area.
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>>10032349
Don’t you mods have better stuff to do besides defend yourselves?
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>>10033304
Just was curious because I’m part of that comm and anon’s description was similar. Besides you just don’t hear too much besides sol drama mentioned here.
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>>10031725
>>10032710
I'm sorry to come out of the woodwork to be all "not meee" but I rarely go to meets and would hate for someone to associate me with shit stirring just because I rarely attend events. The reason I don't is because I like hanging out with my best friend more than anyone in my comm.
My comm gets shit talked a good amount on cgl but I have literally had nothing to do with it. Someone else in my comm self posts here and its whatever. No one in comm cares and everyone knows about it. There are some supposed shit stirrers but I have no idea who they are and if they even attend meets.
And even though I spend a lot of time on cgl because its easy to be here on my phone, and I rarely go to meets doesn't mean I'm responsible for people talking behind someone else's back. I also have no problem saying something to someones face.
Sorry to be all defensive but I feel like this is the kind of fuel someone would use to be against me.
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>>10030995
Happened here too, although it turns out they weren't actually lying, and even more people left after we found out.

Does Canada even have decent comms anymore?
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>>10033120
I meant a time limit for telling the host that you’re going to drop out, because some people will wait until the meet is about to start to notify the host that they’re not coming. It’s better than not saying anything at all but still shitty imo, especially if it’s something you would’ve known about much earlier.
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>>10031957
>Clothes are not meant to be worn before others
Ok then
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>>10033662
Was a moderator the instigator for your comm too? Are you still in yours?
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>>10033720
In my comm, it doesn’t matter. After the reservation deadline is passed, if there is a spot waiting for you, YOU are responsible for paying for your seat regardless if you can attend or not. Otherwise, you may be banned. It sucks having to drop out last minute because your tire blew on the way to the meet on the freeway. Doesn’t mean that the hosts should be responsible for paying for your ass.
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>>10032710
My comm has a girl with borderline personality disorder that never comes to meets anymore but boy howdy does she do whatever it takes to stir the pot and create drama out of thin air. We continuously have issues arise often over nothing and about things she’s not even present for and blows it out of proportion. Every single instance of drama leads right back to her shit stirring and the mods won’t do a damn thing about it or even consider giving her the boot. I don’t know if her disorder is the issue but in my comm it always seems like the ones who stir up rumors behind the scenes have some kind of mental issue.
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>>10033860
She sounds like she's a) hungry for attention and b) delusional about how lolita fashion is supposed to work. It's common in newbies to think that you should be catty and competitive in order to make lolita friends. You ought to tell the mods that you're feeling uncomfortable in the comm with her.
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>>10033860
My comm has two separate girls with BDD. They've both done therapy and are really nice. Sounds like you have an asshole with no self control there
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>>10033860
Why don't you talk it over with people at the actual meet-ups if you're not the only person annoyed by this?
Why is she still in your forums when she doesn't participate in the meets? You should simply establish a rule that people who don't show up just don't get to participate in decissions or something. Just a thought.
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>>10033860
Definitely understand the feeling, anon. A girl in my old comm had bpd and she was an absolute drama mongering ass. She even had a nasty habit of going after anyone she was seeking approval from if they did or said anything at all that felt like an attack or like she was being criticized even though it was never like that at all. Needless to say I’m glad I moved far, far away.

I’d suggest you keep your distance from her or anyone really with bpd if they aren’t actively getting therapy for it. They’re exhausting, burdening individuals that ruin everything. I hope your comm leaders are able to see her actions for what they are and she’s held accountable for it. Good luck, anon and keep enjoying your frills regardless of the turds.
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>>10033853
Ah, my comm rarely does reserves. I wish it did. I can sympathise with people whose tire blew or who got truly sick the day of but many people who drop out last minute say things like “I have a lot of school work” or “not enough money” or even “it’s too far away” like couldn’t they have figured this out several days in advance? Sometimes it feels like my comm is full of womanchildren and hosting meetups is like herding cats.
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>>10023356
So how many in this pic do you think are male?
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>>10034334
Here comes the sissy
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>>10034334
>being this retarded
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>>10034347
No im srs
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>>10033867
This. Bpd actually has a cure time of 10 years and can be done through therapy.

>>10033860
I doubt this person actually has bpd. Most people who suffer from bpd also suffer from ptsd so much so that it can be hard to diagnose. I had a therapist tell me she wouldn't diagnose me with it because of the image it would create for other doctors and she left the diagnosis as ptsd.
Also a lot of bpd people are suicidal and filled with anxiety. Hanging out with people is the last thing they're thinking about. If anything they're probably too scared to hang out with people for fear of what might happen.
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>>10033846
Yes, and yes. I don't go to meets anymore though. This dude that just came back and started going to them was the final straw.
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>>10034512
He came back a few months ago, didn't he? My face could only do so many looks of disgust when I heard that he came back. I was initially planning on re-attending meets and helping with comm activities, and then I heard that K decided to join again. Nope.
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>>10034351
zero
>>
What's the most you've paid/would pay for a meet? I'm fairly new to being active in my local comm and I was a bit in awe at the price of our winter ILD high tea meet. It's $63 + tax and tip, which seems quite a lot for a meet that only lasts a couple hours, yet all thirty slots sold out in a couple days. Granted, the venue is a lovely place so the price doesn't surprise me. My comm is absolutely wonderful, so I don't mean this at all as a criticism on them. They do a great job and this price is an outlier in terms of meet prices, but it still got me thinking. What's the most expensive meet you gulls have seen? What's the typical price range for your comm?
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>>10034631
it's a high tea, that sounds like a pretty typical price.
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>>10034631
Not counting national events with brand guests, maybe £50? Before I moved to the big city even "free" meets would cost me £12-£20 in bus/train fare, food/drinks/tip for most meets at a restaurant or tickets to karaoke or the cinema is gonna be £8-£25 and for something like ILD with a booking for high tea might be £30. Plus one meal isn't going to sustain me all day so there's usually a bit extra to buy a drink too. $30-40 equivalent is pretty typical.
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>>10034631

I don't do meetups anymore, but high tea in the city for me is $70 for each person, not including tax. It's a splurge, but you pay for the experience of feeling super fancy for a couple hours. Don't get me wrong, I freaking love my cheap asian food, but to be able to sit in a nice, well decorated place in my fancy getup is one of the best experiences I would do again and again.
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>>10034631
Thats a totally normal, if not low, price for High tea service. Plus its ILD people know the meetup is going to be more expensive than the average meetup.
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>>10034381
nayrt but I know who she’s describing and yes she is professionally diagnosed. I never got close enough to her to see the ptsd side of her symptoms but everything else was a check in the box.

>>10033860
Sorry she’s causing you so much grief, anon. I’ll discuss it with the mods and see if there’s anything that can be done. She’s made several people uncomfortable lately. But sadly as far as I know they are or we’re close with her at some point.
>>
>>10034634
>>10034658
>>10034661
>>10034670
Hm, good to know. I'll have to make sure I've got some money put aside for next ILD.
>>
>>10034631
I think the most I've spent for a regular meet was about $45 on a high tea, but I'm not surprised my area would be a bit cheaper. A lot of states have higher taxes than mine.
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>>10033860
Our comm had two girls who were both (professionally) diagnosed with BPD. The first one was banned because she was unapologetically abrasive and unfriendly to the point people didn't want to come to meets if she was going to be there. The two defining incidents that got her banned were shitting on an event a lot of members looked forward to/inciting drama and the other for trying to take attendance away from another member's meetup by scheduling her own on the same day, because she didn't like the venue (We're not a big enough comm to support multiple events in the same day and it was very mean). Then we had another member and her stay was very short lived because she had a giant freakout (screaming swearing at strangers etc) on her very first meetup. I think she set a record for getting herself banned. She made the first girl look like an angel.

>>10034381
I believe you, therapy is hard but when you put in the work you can really see results in how you treat and affect people, and I appreciate when people put in effort.
>>
I’m triggered by so many people using the wrong term for what I assume they mean is afternoon tea.
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>>10034631
Hello boston comm newbie. That's actually on the cheaper end and summer ild is the same price so plan accordingly.
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>>10034631
$60 for professional tea, everything included.

$45 for some crappy """high tea""" at a lame place that serves six flavours of twinings tea bags

$30 for a shitty tea place that is basically just a lunch/ brunch place with one tea and one coffee offered

$10 for your shitty homemade """high tea""" at your parents' house that you still live in despite being in college or postgrad
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>>10034800
Fucking this, I've only ever seen a real high tea at one location in my city, everything else is afternoon tea
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>>10034800
While I agree, the name the place gives it is what you should call it. High tea and afternoon tea is blended in meaning now unless the place specifically says it’s afternoon tea.
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>>10034841
Wow you sound fun. Why do you even bother to go to any meetups?
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>>10034800
I actually didn't know this, so thanks! the_more_you_know.gif
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>>10034860
Because I enjoy the more expensive meets and am willing to pay for quality? Because I don't mind free picnic meets in cute places? Sorry I don't want to pay $30 to eat shitty processed food in your lame middle class house I guess?
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>>10034800
Even in the UK where it originated a lot of the hotels in the Hyde Park area call it high tea for marketing; I think Kensington Orangery still calls it afternoon tea but the meaning has certainly blended even in the country of origin.
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>>10034855
If you go to a bakery that sells macarons but they call them macaroons, what would you do?
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Some euro fag is trying to sell a hideously stained AP OP in “superb condition” no damages mentioned in the description. Who is this scamming bitch?
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>>10034971
Taking the photos in yellow light to distort the extent of the damage.
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>>10032349
One of the LA mods finally checked the thread. I'm not sure which tired trope they use more, defending the cannolis or booking events at Tea Rose Garden
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>>10034971
There's a girl trying to sell a damaged AATP dress in the UK Sales group on Facebook as perfect condition. Could be the same person.
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>>10034972
Wtf

Why even take a closeup of that part of the dress if you're trying to pass it off as superb condition? Does she think we can't see the stain? Does she have terrible eyesight herself or something? So many questions
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>>10034971
>>10034972

I actually don’t think it’s too bad if you can actually see the stain and she’s up front that it’s stained. Borderline dodgy if she doesn’t actually mention it’s stained though.

Yellow lighting is default in most homes, so I could see a combination of being busy and unable to photograph the dress until after dark so they end up being stuck with whatever crappy light they have.

Think I’m more miffed that she apparently put it up (?) as “Bows & Roses // Pinks & Mauves” instead of Eternal Rose Bouquet in lavender. Kinda weird to find a serious lolita doesn’t know the name of an actual print that they own and doesn’t know lavender from mauve.
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>>10034952
No it hasnt. What the fuck. It's still known as afternoon tea wherever you go here.
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>>10034787
Jeez, that’s awful. The 2 in my comm aren’t abrasive to anyone’s face but instead come off as more grandiose and charming in person. Once you talk to them outside of a meet though holy shit, it’s like they do a complete 180. They will sit there and nitpick any and everything someone might have done or said at a meet like it’s a personal attack on themselves and eventually resorted to the same behavior towards their friends if they did or said something they felt like was disapproving of them. one girl in our comm is obsessively stalked and mimicked by one of them to the point she had a nervous break down and it was pretty upsetting for most of us. I’m hoping if one of them gets banned then maybe the other one will leave on her own.
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>>10035058
How the fuck can someone harass another girl until they have a nervous breakdown and not be banned already? What's the requirement for getting banned, murder in broad daylight?
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>>10035067
All the trouble makers in my comm are the mods and friends of the mods so it’s near impossible no matter what they do. They do a lot to cover their own asses and eachothers. They’ve pulled some stunts before in other situations to make it look like either someone’s else’s fault or even the victims fault and it’s just really fucked.
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>>10035058
Holy shit. USA?
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>>10034971
They also have a cheap Melty Cream Doughnut listed which I'm certain is a replica but they haven't listed it as so anywhere- it has no tags inside
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a girl who talked shit about her last comm on cgl moved to my comm by being buddies with the mod. im waiting for the day she starts putting our comm on cgl for petty stuff next.
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>>10034947
>$30 to eat shitty processed food in your lame middle class house
Why the fuck would you be paying to eat at someones house? Do you live in a third world country or something??
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>>10032145
That and the steampunk person vthat keeps commenting "What UK size is this?". Learn to measure yourself and fuck back off to ugly steampunk.
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>>10035138
How is this cheap ? There were atleast 3 melty creams listed on YA for less than 140 USD last time I saw. Just because people on LM and eBay like to upcharge doesn’t mean seeing the dress at actual value means it’s a replica lol.
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>>10035192
I think they're talking about paying for a ticket to a tea party meet someone is putting on in their home, anon.
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>>10034967
Hahaha you're not L, are you?

But honestly probably nothing, as usual English speakers are doing whatever the hell they want with other's language and where I live the vast majority have adopted that pronunciation/spelling for macarons. Pretty sure 99% of the people who ordered would expect to receive a macaron.
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>>10035067
Do you have a video of the comm member committing murder? I don't know if we should punish someone based on hearsay and a police warrant.
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>>10034817
Yeah, I figured all our ILDs were going to be around that price. I'll have to put cash aside so I can actually pay within the first day before it sells out.
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>>10034947
>charging $30 for a meet at someone's house
Sounds like you've got lolitas using hosting meets as a cash grab. The most I can understand someone charging for a house meet is $10 to cover supplies. Like I'll chip in so the host can get some nice food or craft supplies for the meet, but treating it like a real professional event is bullshit.
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Any other anons hate their comm? Describe the worst person there in a sentence or two.
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>>10035217
I'm sure there probably are cheap genuine ones floating around like with most dresses on second-hand Japanese sites as compared to higher western sales groups prices-
however it's not just about the listing price, it doesn't explain why there isn't a single AP tag on it (pic related, other images from the listing as well as the pic from a MCD comparison blog post)
When on the genuine dress there's a very obvious one at the top of the bodice near the collar.
In which case it probably is a replica, they haven't described it as so and are therefore pretty scammy- especially charging a price that could be a decent deal for a genuine MCD, but way too high for some second-hand replica.
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>>10035349
I don't hate my comm, I'm actually blessed with a pretty chill one with active members and interesting meets. There's one girl though... Haven't run into her at a meet yet but based on her posts I can't help but assume she's an insufferable human being. She's constantly posting updates on stuff she buys, freaking out about sellers when they don't meet her completely unreasonable standards. Bitch, the entire comm does not need a 5th update on your search for a headbow.
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>>10035349
Why are you still in your comm if you hate it? Genuine question.
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>>10035349
Not a person, but all the genderspecials are cringe. I get the impression they expect to be the only ones so special, and they make introductions asking how to fit in and wear Lolita with whatever their special gender thing is, only to have a dozen other people jump in with the same situation. They never come to meets tho.
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>>10035389
My comm has one of these. They got very upset with a couple people for misgendering them and will drop out of any meet those individuals RSVP to. I'm sorry, but being an obvious biological female wearing the most feminine fashion known on the planet, it's easy to make the mistake of assuming they're female when first meeting. The people apologized and never meant to... I don't understand how this person refuses to use some situational awareness to understand that it is an honest mistake to make and just calmly correct others instead of blowing up about it.
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>>10035350
Sorry for getting off topic, but holy shit, I haven't kept up with replicas and didn't realize how accurate they're becoming. I'm sure the difference in quality would be more obvious in person but in photos I never would've guessed.
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>>10035449
Yeah, recent ones have become more convincing sadly. I think I've even read posts where tags have been replicated (that already definitely happened with some btssb usakumyas too).
Not sure if it'll link through here but this is the original comparison post with MCD

http://lolitafashionupdates.blogspot.com/2014/05/an-important-message-regarding-replica.html?m=1

The MCD replica came from a different taobao store that cropped up more recently than dream of lolita and oojia, and they seemed more accurate with copying details- there are still some small telltale signs however (off colour/ poorer quality AP lace, off colour bows and cheaper slightly shinier lining, as well as missing tags)
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>>10035413
Because radicals ruin everything.
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>>10035228
Yep, it happens occasionally in my comm. Wouldn't mind if it was just to cover the cost of food... But it clearly isn't with the price
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>>10035228
>>10035514
Then >>10034947 is right. Who the fuck wants to pay to go to someone's house? I could understand like, bringing over food like a potluck but paying the person cash to put something together?? If your house is actually nice enough for a meet, then you should probably be able to provide food for guests.
If the house is mediocre and the owner can't afford a meet up cost- why are people going to their house? Like sure, I go to my friends place but I never hand them cash to go grocery shopping.
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>>10035653
Yeah, I'd prefer a potluck too. We usually have swap meets at someones house and will do one, it's always a fun lowkey meey. One girl in my comm did get professional catering for an in home tea once, at least. That makes it more worth a ticket price for sure.
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>>10035653
I had a few people over for a meet and it was a potluck. I spent easily 150+ on the meet without asking for anything back (since I didn’t mind) , because it went into supplies and decorations and making food that I could prep since it was my space. If I had to fully feed people I would ask for people to pitch in, it’s normal to pay your share of food.
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>>10035349
I don’t hate my comm but I hate some of the members in it particularly an extremely obese girl that dresses bad, smells bad, and cries “abuse!!!!111” at anyone that doesn’t agree w or gets tired of her shit. she will interrupt conversations to tell the same cry baby abuse story over and over any chance she can or just blab about grandious fantasies about herself
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>>10035690
>One girl in my comm did get professional catering for an in home tea once
one of the girls in my comm did this too for her birthday and no one had to pay. She has a fucking apartment and used their complex club house. It was nice as fuck too.

>>10035691
If you can afford it, then why would you charge??
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>>10035741
Why wouldn’t you ask for people to pay for their share? I can afford many things but I ain’t your sugar daddy. It’s the same idea as a potluck really, but instead of bringing food it’s money so it’s less work on the attendees to find something and travel with food.
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>>10035228
I find this tasteless. If I invite people in my home their are my guests.

Oh, I must have tea party at my house sometime soon. It makes me clean like crazy before so it’s win-win situation
>>
All the hate on these home events wew.

I've personally never organized one but i dont mind them at all. It's kind of nice being able to chill inside and not worry about the general public. If the host was to prepare and buy all the food, I wouldnt mind chipping in $10-$20. Getting all the supplies can add up fast and isnt as cheap as people think (at least in my country, groceries are pricier).

Bonus if they have pets I can swoon over. Although i realize this can be a negative to some.

>I've wanted to host a home tea part for years because I have cute teaware and platters.. but I dont own a table or many chairs for girls to sit at RIP
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>>10035902
Try looking at it from another point of view. They're already offering their home. Maybe they don't have much money and can't afford a good buffet. Maybe they ask everyone a reasonable amount of money so that they can offer a satisfying buffet. As an alternative, everyone can bring something they cooked. That said, I think that's different than asking for a ticket to an event you're having at your house. I don't think asking for 20USD or more is justified.
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>>10035413
Seems like a win win situation to me. You guys should misgender them some more so they quit the comm entirely.
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>>10035904
>All the hate on these home events wew.
The only "hate" is in regards to paying to go to someones house. I go to girls houses in my comm - but I don't pay.

>>10035956
>Maybe they don't have much money and can't afford a good buffet.
Again, why would I be going to that persons house if they can't afford to feed some people.
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>smallish comm
>mod who used to organise a lot got busy recently so not that many meets
>I hosted a few meets last year and there are a few local lolita aesthetic things I really want to do this year (going to the opera, the theatre, a stately home)
>high pricetag discourages most itas or having to manage a huge turnout so those kind of meets are usually fun to host
>comm recently got annoying, poorly-dressed brolita who comes to nearly every meet
>can't post an event in the group without him RSVPing
>okay to be around in a large group at a public setting like a gallery but it would be impossible to relax with him drawing attention to our tiny group at a super fancy event
>no way to exclude him without being obvious, don't know enough of the comm well enough to organise a friends-only private meet

I'm probably going to just go with my normie partner since at least I can trust them to behave appropriately, but I feel kind of bad since the comm's so inactive.
>>
Don't know if this is the right place for this, but has your comm had any dealings with any other alt communities?
There's a local goth scene and any time we've interacted with them they've asked us about our "costumes", even though we politely explain that it's not a costume. They seem so stunned and confused and ask how we can possibly dress like this all the time. This coming from people in white face paint, or wearing enormous new rocks, or cyberlocks, or generally wearing stuff that obviously stands out seems so bizarre.

I don't expect everyone in any alt fashion to understand with Lolita is since it's pretty niche, but the way they react to us just rubs me the wrong way. We all look odd to the general public, why not have a bit of comradery?

Has this happened to anyone else? It feels like a lot of the new wave goths are just goths on instagram so maybe that's it?
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>>10037823
Nowadays alt fashion subcultures in general are full of normies that put on costumes and makeup for social media, rarely outdoors, so I'm not too surprised to see this. Disappointed, but not surprised. Older goths do tend to know what lolita fashion is; whether they like it or not depends on whom you ask, but they are aware of it to some degree.
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>>10037823
The gothic lolitas in my comm go goth clubbing sometimes and older goths are apparently all cool with it even if they don't like the aesthetic.
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>>10037811
I know your pain, anon. Our most annoying brolita/sissy was a programmer in his 30’s with much more free time and disposable income than most of our members who are still in college, so while he never really bothered to expand his wardrobe beyond 2-3 Bodyline dresses, ratty sneakers and a piss yellow eBay wig, he did always have the time and money to attend every single meet-up and event. There was no way to escape him. He was always there up until the point he got banned for being sexually inappropriate with several girls (quelle surprise) but even then he’d be at every single convention for years afterwards. His attendance only started dropping off when he lost interest in lolita or maybe found another group of people to creep on. I hope your annoying brolita isn’t as bad and will either get less annoying or fuck off on his own, because people like this can be so hard to avoid.
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>>10035904
Who wants to gorge themselves on food at meets? Finger sandwiches and one dessert plus tea would be enough and isn't expensive at all. I cook a lot for gatherings at work and I find that it's way less expensive than people think if you just aren't retarded and know how to pick the right recipes
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>>10037868
I don't even get a super creepy vibe off him (at least he's in his 20s too so fits in with the comm, not a huge middle-aged man getting angry that women in their 20s who share no common interests don't want to hang out with him), he just looks bad and draws a lot of negative attention to the group. He seems fairly chill and I've never heard him discuss fetish stuff at meets, but I still don't really trust he's not a sissy either, since he wears pretty much the same outfit to every meet (i.e. obviously not that interested in the fashion...) and AFAIK he's straight. All those old lady reactions that would normally be "ooh it's rare to see young girls dressed up so nicely these days!" turns to obvious stares and discomfort as they assume it's a fetish thing with him there.

He's either a sissy with the social sense to know he'll get kicked out if he openly admits it, or an alternative ita with no fetishy ulterior motives but also no real desire to improve. Neither option is good. Like I said, I feel bad because he's polite enough in person and seems like an OK dude, but I know I'm not the only one avoiding meets because he's around. Nobody wants to come out and say it because it would cause a shitstorm from people who say being cagey around this ~poor innocent brolita~ would be terrible prejudice exactly the same as wanting to ostracise, IDK, trans people or fat girls or black people in the comm because society look down on them too.
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>>10037904
>Who wants to gorge themselves on food at meets?
I always light snack at meets and then go home to pig out.
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>>10037904
Poor people, I guess?
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>complaining about being left out of nyc comm
>was banned years ago
Any gulls have sauce on what she was banned for?
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>>10038054
She complains about not being invited to meet ups yet rarely hosts anything herself? The last event in that group is from a year ago, and I don't believe any meet ups have been hosted by her in years either.

NYC is super cliquey, and you do kinda have to work hard to find or create your own, but it is possible just by hosting your own meets often, and meeting new people, and of course actually being nice in person.

I'm glad the main comm actually has a bunch of public events finally. It's refreshing to see people actually trying to branch out instead of staying in their little groups.

Also im not exactly sure what this girl did except stirring up drama in the LJ days. Her name was simply26.
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>>10038058
Oh shit you’re right. I’m surprised she’s even still trying to interact with the comm
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>>10038054
What group/page did she post this in?
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>>10035739
Doesn't every comm have one of these?
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>>10031629
>>10031629
THIS like no one running the comm is mature just really petty and self involved....





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