It’s that time again folks, post embarrassing lolitas.
So kawaii
Why did this girl feel the need to post herself half naked?
>>10928052Hideous DollBe design + no bra + no bangs to hide that huge bulbous forehead. You can still get away with no bangs if there's some swoopy bits or something around the hairline that softens the appearance. All pulled back only looks okay in 0,00000001% of cases.Some people either don't know what they look like in public, or they don't care enough that they look bad in order to fix it. If she just wore a proper bra, got a better outfit and fixed her hair she would look so much cuter. Being that size is no excuse, iirc meta's plus plus sizing goes very large.Wait, is this the person who started DollBe? If so that's really embarrassing.
>>10928056I don't hate the dress, it just doesn't fit her. Those seams will rip if she sneezes.
The coord is mid but that room is definitely giving hoarder vibes
This whale destroyed a perfectly good AP dress. https://youtu.be/NiFYvnRx4fc?si=mkPMXWbFYfwRTvok
>>10928100It’s one of the reviews but yeah the quality is awful and metas infinity better. Most of these girls have mental disorders and can’t perceive themselves normally. And we haven’t even started with the guy in the goodwill ouji.
This is a great example of how hairstyle can ruin a coord. The outfit itself is alright and it at least fits them decently, but then it all goes to shit with the haircut and awful color.
Her username is delusional, petite tomoyo
>>10928177Also my main question, is how do you let yourself even get this horribly obese? At what point do you not think to put the fucking fork down.
These bubble sleeve blouses are hideous.
>>10928177Her tiktok is retarded to. There’s one where she says she’s manifesting to not get pregnant like she’s capable of carrying a fetus lmao.
The decor lmfao
>>10928057>>10928058>>10928061What's wrong with these? Ugly =/= ita
>>10928173this is 2 years old. Not that it makes it any less horrible. But hey, at least she recognizes it doesn't fit.>>10928176I don't hate pink hair with lolita, but her hair just looks dirty and the dye job looks bad. And with those short side pieces I would just go with natural black hair and let it grow out until the side bits are closer to chin length.>>10928178she eats an entire sleeve of cookies as a snack>>10928179this doesn't look lolita to me. Did she claim/tag it as such?
>>10928185The first one is literally wearing a costume crown and looks like a complete man. The second one is wearing a low quality salopette and bonnet that’s just ugly. The third one is wearing normie shoes and no head accessory making it look low effort.
>>10928185these weren't posted just because the people in the pictures aren't conventionally attractive. The outfits are just not good.>>10928057this crown just wouldn't go with any lolita or lolita adjacent fashion. It's looks like something you'd get for halloween. Then there's also the watch which doesn't go with the blouse. That blouse is too long and a bit too small for him. I can't see the bottom part of the coord but it's already evident from the top part that it's an uncoordinated mess.I doubt that this was tagged lolita or ouji, but I could be wrong.>>10928058the suspender skirt is ugly and doesn't fit her properly. I don't care where it came from, if it looks ugly it's ugly. Just like I don't care where something came from if it looks good. She also just pulled her hair back which looks terrible with lolita in the large majority of cases. We can't see the rest of the outfit but I don't expect that it's any better.>>10928061The items don't go together aesthetically. If we use the vest as the main piece and choose everything else to go with it, then I wouldn't use those knee garters, those socks, those shoes and those polkadot and striped bows. Those trousers also don't look quite right, but it's hard to tell from the little we see of them. They appear to be way too tight. I'm not sure what's going on with the blouse, but they need to fix those long dangling ribbons.This would be a good example of how it should look (there are other ways to coord it, but this is what I could find quickly) https://lolibrary.org/items/atelier-boz-2020-special-lucky-back-short-pants-setGood footwear options from AATP (in black); clara short boots, Classical Combination Pumps, Lily Belt Long Boots (a little bit edgy but it works with the gold in the vest), tasseled loafers, Napoleon Boots.
>>10928100I like how you basically said "if they just changed everything about it"
>>10928193I mean, if the main piece is bad and everything else is too there's not much you can do except change everything. I could have said "she's too fat for lolita and has no taste, so she should just stop trying to wear lolita" but that's lazy thinking imo.
Is this dude a fetishist or sissy? They have a man body and never show their face (except if their in a furry suit).
>>10928223Yes, and a sissy is a fetishist because sissy/sissification is a fetish. This one is just double gross because of the furry thing. Yeeegh.
>>10928248wow, I could not have imagined a worse outfit. Knowing the lolita sewing community she(?) would probably claim to have won multiple awards for her sewing.
>>10928223this is a homely woman. male legs do not look like this.
>>10928172regular bedroom with band posters>hoarder vibes? to be fair it does look like a 15yo bedroom but not hoarder
>>10928270Pretty sure anon is talking about the junk shoved under the bed, can you just look with your eyes for once?
>>10928260Looks like a dude to me. And not every guy has bony man legs, especially if they have a higher body fat % (which this guy obviously has).
>>10928078Wtf is going on here?
>>10928172You live in a fucking millenialcore minimalist asylum room don't you
>>10928315Man that warped shadow and cane is something else but I can't for the life of me figure out why! Pretty sure she's wearing compression stockings, but they're horrifyingly tight at the knee and are obviously causing some reflux into her foot, look at that bulge maybe her calves are more lumpy and she tried to make them smoother resulting in the insane cane warping?
>>10928248The more I look the more horrified I get. The filthy shoes. The hem on the apron. The pleated trim on the apron and the umbrella. The socks. The bodice. The straps falling down on the bodice. The "bow" on the front. The obvious spoonflower print and crinkled fabric. The "shawl" that is just bolts of fabric tied at the front. Ugh.
>>10928324Replying to myself, that dress looked super familiar so I dug around and realised the creator was the very same person who made this. They self declare as "intermediate" in Lolita and in sewing.(admittedly I think they've made promising art but sweet jayzus they need to take a garment sewing class I'm sobbing)
>>10928181someone has sex with that...
>>10928078 beauty is pain
>>10928100i don’t think fat people want to spend a lot of money on brand when they know they’re not going to look good anyway.
>>10928359literally what was the point of shooping this. if you're gonna shoop then at least make sure the end result doesn't look ridiculous
This entire website is a goldmine of horrible coords and horrible stylistic choices, I'm cackling. https://www.gloomth.com/shop
I cannot express how much I fucking hate this.
birthday hat and party theme mixed with spiked punk collars WHY
And the JSK/OP is meant to be medical themed "Medicine" Sleeveless Pink and White Nurse Dress"I fail to see how edgy bondage collars + party hat = nurse
>>10928374it gets worse
Whoever the photography director and stylist was for these shoots needed to be fired, the facial expressions are also embarrassing
>>10928052>embarrassing lolitasisn't that a bit redundant?
I feel molested after looking at this
Lor what the actual fuck, gold cake themed shoes and a crucifix?! she's experienced enough to know how ita this is and how badly it reflects upon those of us who don't want to look like a literal clown (unlike her)at this point she's blatantly making fun of egl with this shit
>>10928383white fishnets... girl I-
>asking myself why people think lolita fashion is a costume after so many people explaining it and trying to make it known that it's literally not>finds this fucking website>realizes it was all for nothing>doomer lolita mode activated
I'm starting to think a man put together these horrific combinations.
>>10928370It's giving: "Brb robbing the AP store in San Fran rq teehee."
Why are these so weirdly suggestive, disgusting
>>10928395Clearly some perverted man wanted to try to make this photoshoot look like a weird maid fetish dress or some shit with the pleather gloves and the posing, bro just go shoot OF models it's not that hard to find them
Drinking game, take a shot every time you see a coord in this thread that Misako Aoki would cringe at, go!I can guarantee you'll be absolutely hammered.
Ah yes, military hat with dress that has zero features of a military theme
>>10928406When you're secretly a neo nazi but can't wear the swastika to the meet so you op for softcore nazi hat instead
tattoos do not belong in lolita, Japanese culture is very much anti tats
>>10928360DollBe is as expensive and sometimes more expensive than jpn brand. I visited their site once and was shocked. Hard to believe for how much better jpn brand looks. Going by the reviews that are on the site DollBe fills a niche for people who either don't want to buy outside of North America, are unaware of lacemarket and/or for people who think they don't have any other choice because they have a very large size. They are still in business because people are unnecessarily scared of buying from Asia and/or unaware of better plus sized options new and second hand. Preying on the scared and ignorant. No one is saving money by buying DollBe. Afaik most fat lolitas think they look good so if they don't want to spend the money (many don't, they go for lower budget chinese brand options that offer larger or custom sizing. Nothing wrong with that on its own. But it's sadly visibly lower quality and the designs usually aren't that good) you'd think they would try to compensate by getting their hair and make-up to look good. And probably spend money on at least one pair of versatile shoes since that's worth the 40$. But everything about that outfit looks bad, it appears no effort was put into any aspect of it. To go out like that you need to be a bit delusional.
That looks like a man, if you're going to be a brolita at least ask your stylist to try to make you look less like a red haired Karen, yikes. Guy looks like he'd be screaming for the manager at the local hot topic for misgendering him.
>>10928383> she's experienced enough to know how ita this is She hasn't cared for years now. Always painful to see someone devolve from decent coords to ita mess.
>>10928418Hopefully she's done with the fashion because she's found a new obsession with Jirai Kei. I really hope she announces she's leaving Lolita soon so that she can finally stop making a mockery out of the egl community.
>>10928410I dislike how tattoos look with lolita fashion but Japanese lolitas aren't unified in being against them.
>>10928183>Your libertarian asian wife, sir.>>10928248Autismcore>>10928410I don't think the problems are the tatoos when her outfits looks like this
>>10928177The fact that almost her entire wardrobe is AP replicas is so gross. Why has nobody called her out on this. Idc if you can’t alter brand large enough to fit you, replicas still aren’t ok
>>10928315wasn't this something someone photoshopped in a previous thread here
>>10928370Gloomth has some nice designs but those stock photos are hideous
>>10928054>>10928055>>10928056What is it with itas not ironing their dresses?
>>10928380There is nothing wrong with this in my opinion. They are trying to be edgy and it's probably supposed to be experimental Lolita and they pull it off well. Nothing wrong with that. The only thing that is kind of funny are the double bloomers hahaha
>>10928508Some of you all need to open up your early Gothic and Lolita Bibles and Kera magazines and look at how many coords you all would post here if the Lolitas were not Japanese
>>10928078her legs look like two liters
>>10928321Something I find very odd on cgl is when people attach incredibly normie activities to obviously experienced lolitas. Minimalist beige moms wouldn’t even like the idea of you wearing alternative fashion, let alone you having an entire collection you wear on a semi daily basis. In my experience with these types of girls young gen z don’t care what you wear to an obsessive extent, however it’s the middle and older gen z that are raised on conformity and hate anyone out of line. Maybe I’m overthinking it but I do believe it’s a conversation worth discussing.
>>10928597Zillennials are the biggest scumbags on planet earth. They are 100% over-socialized conformist cunts. don't bother trying to wear anything interesting like lolita fashion.
>>10928597>it’s the middle and older gen z that are raised on conformity and hate anyone out of linego read /fa/ or /r9k/ and you will see this in action.
>>10928324'shawl' is most definitely a lesbian flag, since their weirdass dress has that at the bottom too
>>10928378i fuck with this lowkey. not good lolita but on its own its alright
>>10928508The bunny hat doesn’t fit the aesthetic of the coord, there’s no bunny elements even in the dress that I could visibly see, and the girl wearing two pairs of bloomers should’ve worn something other than demonia’s as the OP itself doesn’t include punk elements, plus the mismatched gloves. Whoever styled the red haired models coord wanted to mix punk elements/v-kei hair/goth together and it looks really bad imo.
>>10928621I could’ve understood some of the replies if the OP bunny hat and red hair model is wearing wasn’t a horrible design, but even Moite and Atelier Pierrot have better stylistic choices for their advertising. It’s not hard to do a simple google search as a stylist for an alternative brand marketing Lolita to actually find good street snaps to take inspiration from so your audience doesn’t have to see eyesores. There’s so many new Lolita’s in this thread trying to defend shit quality coords, that’s fine, but don’t get mad when people think you look like you belong in a psych ward because your outfit doesn’t seem like an ounce of thought on cohesion, themeing or color matching went into it
>>10928604A lot of older gen z were around (specifically in the Lolita community) when a lot of millennials were in it too, and in the 2010s there was a lot of hatred/gatekeeping about letting teenagers come to com meetups, a lot of the time you would be ostracized and ignored by people if you were not in the local group/com upon creation or early days. There was little to no leniency as a gen z if you were just starting out and your coord wasn’t brand, the Lolita’s would make it very obvious they were embarrassed by you. I know I’m probably not the only one who’s experienced this sort of thing as I’ve heard stories from other people who were just getting into Lolita that got treated like shit by older millennials at meetups for not looking perfect. There should honestly be a thread on terrible Lolita com experiences.
>>10928410Most people in Japan dgaf anymore unless you’re some old person in the boonies. Yakuza style tattoos on non yakuza is more common than the real thing nowadays.
>>10928508Nayrt but just because someone is experimenting and/or trying to be edgy doesn't mean the end result isn't bad. It definitely doesn't shield them from criticism. What stands out the most to me is that the bunny hat does not go with the rest style wise. Secondary problem with the girl on the right: the dress and apron aren't bad but everything else she wears with it doesn't go with the dress and apron. It's an unpleasant and messy mix of styles that makes the dress and apron look worse. The dress and apron would look so much better if they were paired with other items that actually fit that aesthetic. The girl on the left has the same problem with mixing aesthetics that don't go together, and some weird choices overal, but not as eye catching as the girl on the right. Experimenting is good, but the duds don't need to make it out of the house.
>>10928510Early GLB street snaps tend to be much more cohesive. And just because an outfit made it into the GLB doesn't necessarily mean it's a good outfit. Yes, the snaps that end up in the GLB are curated well according to whatever standards they chose to use. There is occasionally something in there that doesn't look good.This is not about race or anything else besides the actual coord.
>>10928626Nayrt. I've been in the comm since before the 2010s and I have certainly heard and seen drama occasionally nationally and internationally. But "treated like crap for not looking perfect" is not something I ever witnessed or heard about. People avoiding an ita who doesn't want to learn and has a bad personality, that's something that happens. But treating someone like crap even though they're obviously trying to coord well and willing to learn? If this happened it's extremely rare. I haven't even seen or heard about people treating an ita like crap if the ita was nice and eager to learn. In 99,99% of cases people are very nice and try to help them, they remember when they were beginners and hadn't mastered the basics yet, it makes them happy to help.Brand elitists do exist, but they're not as common as some people think they are (even in the past). It's often something that's exaggerated by people who have some unfounded beef with the lolita community. And even the brand elitists who do exist most likely would never treat someone like crap. They don't have the balls to do that even if they wanted to, and I think only a tiny portion of brand elitists even want to say that out loud. They're most likely not going to though. It's not worth it risking being banned from the comm. The comm memory is quite long, if someone does something they're not supposed to then people will remember. Once you have a bad reputation you should assume you'll never be rid of it.
>>10928055this one seems normal?
Board tourist who only came to /cgl/ to discuss conventions here. What exactly is the appeal of dressing up like this? Like I get dressing up for cons but I literally see girls fully decked out in these sorts of dresses + all sorts of elaborate accessories just grocery shopping at my local japanese mart buying sashimi and frozen takoyakis
>>10928739this may sound fucking crazy to you but some people... actually enjoy wearing the clothes that they buy. mind-blowing isn't it
>>10928743it just seems weird wearing "nice" clothes grocery shopping even if both the groceries and clothes are weeb themed
>>10928739It's just fun
>>10928388all these photos give me an idea of how i would market to western lolitas
>>10928420i thought she was way into cottagecore a few years ago but she still wore lolitai mean she’s an influencer so she’s going to probably going to stick to what people follow her for
>>10928447you can’t because it would be fatphobic
This was posted with the person asking for similar dresses.
>>10928248For just a split second I thought this was peacockfeather
>>10928739i'll try offering a sincere answer as someone who dresses up to buy groceries. wearing lolita makes me happy, and when i'm happy i have more energy and confidence. i get a lot more done if i'm feeling good about myself. i also used to wear lolita to class when i could because it made me able to speak up more and answer the professor's questions. i'll wear it if i'm feeling depressed or anxious because i know that if nothing else, i'll find enjoyment in it. and, sometimes, i wear it just because i had an idea in my head, and i just felt like wearing it. basically it's the same reason anyone wears anything that makes them feel confident
>>10928738are you retarded>>10928177who is this
>>10928796I recall seeing on a blog (maybe fyeahlolita, maybe just on tumblr) a very long time ago that Lolita fashion or alt fashion is like body armor. That it helps to protect the wearer from harm. Obvs not true in a literal sense, and for violent normies who hate fashion and women, but it does seem to provide that sense of protection for many. Normies get so tied up in the clothes they don't see the human the same way.
With added caption because wtf.
>>10928892I just saw this too and was about to come here to post him. Sad you cropped out his hideous stripper heels in that picture. His other outfits on his page are just about as atrocious, but the added factor of going near kids in that is making it extra offensive.
>>10928418Right! I face palm every time I see people recommend newbies or anybody look to lor for tips and coord inspiration.
>>10928953I’ve seen so many itas look to lor like she’s some authority on the fashion.
>>10928953Lor is awful. as someone whose been in the fashion 15+ years she's done immense damage to the community.
>>10928782are you stupid? many people take inspiration from non-lolita things to make coords idiot.
>>10928629no one mentioned it being cultural acceptable or not, tattoos don't look good in lolita generally because they clash thematically with the feel of the fashion. are you one of those itas who thinks alt=edgy? it doesn't. lolita isn't an edgy counter culture no matter how much zoomers want it to be.
>>10928817fat bitch from quebec city. she makes me skip out on sister comm meets with them.
>>10928971Have you met her irl? I get bad vibes from her so I’d love to know what she’s like
>>10928968Are *you* stupid? There’s so many better references/things you could say If you want green frilly lolita dresses. You really think a educated lolita would sight this monstrosity as a reference?
How can we stop the troon menace?
>>10928641> This is not about race or anything else besides the actual coord.Nyart but I think deep down you know that this isn’t true. Japanese girls will always get the better end of the stick because they founded the fashion and were designed for the clothes, therefore will always look better. There are a few coords that would be featured on these threads, but they aren’t for the reason I just stated.
>>10928412Somewhat related, but I do wonder why no other brand rather than Meta has tried to tap into the fatty market. Also, I wonder why fats don't buy Meta. Dear My Love while not lolita has their own plus size brand and it seems pretty popular. JP brands could make fucking bags of cash from price gouging fats, and it would also reduce the amount of itas.
>>10929027Atelier Pierrot has also done plus sized. Spoiler fatties are cheap and barely buy new, so its been a struggle.
>>10928994you sound like a cunt.
>>10929013>Japanese girls will always look better in lolitaI don't think so. There are some really pretty lolitas who are very suited to the fashion who don't even look remotely Asian.If this is bait it's very lazy.
>>10929027Fats DO buy meta and atepie, but the reality is that plus size lolitas are still a pretty small minority of their market, so it’s expensive to make small batches and that’s why they do so many preorders. We’re definitely buying them, though.
>>10929045Wrong quote, meant for >>10929031
>>10929027Ayrt, aside from Meta and Atelier Pierrot there is also maxicimam, Hiroko Tokumine, Marchentica, Rosina Blue and (fairly recently) ETC. There are probably more Japanese brands who do plus sizes who I'm not familiar with. I also agree with >>10929031 about plus sized lolitas often getting lower budget options. There are definitely plus sized lolitas in the west who buy straight from the aforementioned brands but I think generally plus sized lolitas tend to buy lower price options. I see more plus sized lolitas wearing lower budget stuff compared to the aforementioned brands.
>>10928969I just shoop my tattoos out of photos
>>10929049every fatty in my community balks if a dress is more than $100.
>>10929041>>10929042If you don’t believe it’s true, why don’t you post poorly dressed japanese lolitas? There’s definitely a few on glb and just a little digging on ameblo and other Japanese platforms you can find them. Practice what you preach. I can tell you have nothing left to say because i never said that international lolitas look bad, I just said that japanese lolitas will always be favored on cgl and in general.
>>10929041you sound like an ita...
>>10929107because these threads are for current itas not itas from 2 decades old street snaps. sorry about your yellow fever. also the reason the pic you're defending upthread was posted is because the outfits are barely related to the fashion and are a mishmash of zoomer trendy items they don't understand.
>>10928626>in the 2010s there was a lot of hatred/gatekeeping about letting teenagers come to com meetupsThis is normal and acceptable actually. In most countries minors left with adults become their legal responsibility. No one wants to babysit kids, and irl comms aren't required for the fashion.
>>10929027Fats don't buy stuff and it's expensive to make. This topic has been driven into the ground and there is a ton of information out there about this. But fats don't want to hear it and don't care, they want AP making 150cm bust for every release, which they also won't buy.
I'm a fat that buys regularly from meta, baby and atelier pierrot and things in the largest sizes and even things that are plus size friendly sell out quickly. I think a lot of fats are out there buying new and enjoying lolita but just don't have an online coord photo presence because of low self esteem. Of course ND people with no shame who are happy to brag about how cheap their taobao coord are also the ones who aren't afraid to post photos of themselves because they don't even realize how badly dressed they are.
>>10929136Plus size buyers say they will buy plus size releases if a brand makes them, but then when the brand does make the requested plus size only 30% of customers buy. Atelier Pierrot staff posted data about it. Fat lolitas demand plus size releases and then most don't buy it, putting the brand in a financially risky business situation.
>>10929102Some of my local com members buy the plus sized options from meta and atelier pierrot. >>10929107>why don’t you post poorly dressed japanese lolitas?I'm not a member of the japanese lolita comm and I also only follow the japanese lolitas on IG that wear what I like and wear it well so I'm not exposed to a lot of badly dressed japanese lolitas. They exist though, but no-one is denying that. I don't post images from glbs to the ita thread because it's a fucking dumb idea, they stopped publishing in 2017.>I just said that japanese lolitas will always be favored on cgl and in general.You specifically said "they founded the fashion and were designed for the clothes, therefore will always look better." That's what I responded to and that's not a claim about the perception of japanese lolitas by the western comm. It's a claim that japanese lolitas look better because of reasons.One of the nice things about cgl is that you can't go and edit comments. You're trying to backtrack and it's pathetic.
>>10929167You will never hide from the fact that japanese girls were designed for and invented the fashion. The reason why they are preferred for outfit threads and appear as our main image of the fashion is because of authenticity, it is apart of japanese culture so people of that nationality should be the front cover. It’s the same reason why people don’t like it when foreigners wear kimonos and such cultural clothing. I do believe that we should share cultures, but I respect my place as a foreigner whose simply wearing the fashion as a hobby.
>>10929182>designed fordo you think they grow japanese girls on a lab
>>10929182You sound so fucking weird lmao
Finally an ita thread. I was wondering why the board seemed deader than usual.
>>10928757Good luck trying to appeal to them with garbage, AP has set the standards pretty high. Plus you don't see many coords that look like an idiot tried to mix western punk glitter demonia's with a sweet dress unless it's an ita.
>>10928644>not something I ever witnessed or heard about.Personally I experienced this going to a com meet for the first time ever, where only two lolita's showed up for ILD wearing a short sad bodyline skirt and a taobao blouse and matching purple teaparties. I was only 16 at the time and they were both in their 20s, decked out in full sweet AP coords. They made it very apparent because I was from a different part of the state and new to lolita that they were not willing to be friendly to me, and would often walk faster than me to try to ditch me or leave me out of conversations entirely or talk in front of me like I wasn't even there. I was a complete stranger, this was my first ever meetup, and I tried to be polite as possible but was met with such rudeness that it put a bad taste in my mouth, I'm now in my 20s and the experience has never left me. Was I considered an ita? Probably, but even so they could've tried to be nice.
>>10929212*I was wearing bodyline
>>10929212Forgot to mention it was my first ever coord as well so that made things ten times worse.
>>10929212Do you think that maybe they just felt more comfortable talking to eachother because they were around the same age and were dressed similarly, or even already knew eachother beforehand, and you were significantly younger? With you being a minor at the time, you put a lot of risk on adults you hang out with, making them entirely responsible for your wellbeing. Maybe they were uncomfortable with being forced to babysit you. Because if you're a minor without your parents, that is what you were forcing them to do.
>>10929191this is probably gal safari or another similar maleposter with yellow fever.
>>10929234This. Many comms have rules about unaccompanied minors because it's a liability for the adults there. Not to mention minors are in an unrelatable life stage, even college is very divorced from high school. I would personally leave a meet with minors like I do when other entitled parties show up(men/poorfags).
>>10929212>would often walk faster than me to try to ditch meYou walk slow and somehow it's their fault. Lol. Lmao, even. Did you ever ask them to slow down? Did you ever strike up any conversation? Or did you show up in your admittedly shitty coord and expect friendship and praise and adoration and instead you're still throwing a tantrum about it years later?This whole post comes off as so annoying I can only imagine why adults in their 20s tried to politely ditch you. The entitlement is insane.
>>10929243Yes I DID, I did try to talk to them, and I shouldn't have to be practically RUNNING after two people. >did you show up in your admittedly shitty coord and expect friendship and praise and adoration and instead you're still throwing a tantrum about it years later?I was a minor, getting into the fashion for the FIRST TIME. Can you stop being such a cunt holy fuck. You're the exact type of asshole I can't stand, you don't realize that it takes ZERO $$ to be a nice fucking person. I didn't expect to be adored I expected for ADULTS to be nice to me because I was a fucking child interested in a hobby. Also, how the fuck is it entitled to expect respect in general from other people. If anyone is entitled it's you, literally a bitch for no goddamn reason.
>>10929243Don't come back and try to act like you didn't say something really rude and proactive to me about my reply. I'm sorry you were raised by shitty parents who didn't tell you to treat others how you'd want to be treated. It looks like I struck a nerve telling my own personal experience. You're salty bitchy ass is exactly why people think Lolita's are mean/bitchy/rude, your reply isn't doing the community any favors.
>>10929243Chronically online sociopaths should leave the fashion, your lack of empathy is showing.
>>10929252adults don't have to baby sit annoying brats, i hope you don't go to meets now with this shitty attitude.
>>10929258>>10929256>>10929252nice samefag kek. calm down.
>>10929259Annoying brats? Girl, don't act like you know me personally. I was a socially anxious teen who wanted to make friends. You're projecting so hard about yourself its really sad. At least I was raised with kindness in mind. Btw, I bet you must be such a nice person at meets too, it's clear to see you're the type to start shit behind people's backs or make sure to start drama for no fucking reason because it gets you all roiled up inside.
>>10929261how many times do you need to be told that adults don't want to hang out with minors because they become their liability? you need to grow up and stop demanding that others cater to you. it's embarrassing. no one owes you anything.
>>10929261You're so angry you're not getting asspats now it's hilarious.
>>10929266>>10929264>>10929259I go to meets with the attitude of be nice to people because it costs absolutely nothing, it's not entitlement to be nice to others and expect others to be nice back, if this is such a foreign concept to you even outside the context of Lolita fashion I hope you have money to invest on getting diagnosed with sociopathic/narcissistic/psychopathic personal disorder because the signs are clear as day. Also I'm not demanding someone "cater" to me, I'm 24 now, its been years, I am allowed to share my own negative experiences if I want to. I have a closet filled with a decent amount of AP/Baby and have been wearing it for years since that experience, maybe I'm lucky at this point not to live in a major city with a lolita com if you're the type of person attending. Btw, the fact that you can't fathom that people wear this fashion for something other than it being for "compliments" and "asspats" is also part of the problem. I loved the fashion because it was something cute, and different, if I wanted asspats I wouldn't wear it on the daily as there's so many people who verbally harass Lolita's or for that matter anyone who dresses in alternative styles. You're so small minded and evil at heart that you can't understand the concept of the fashion is to literally stand out in general and is meant to be a positive influence so other people want to be involved in it. I can %100 tell why people are afraid to join the fashion and it's because of people like you.
>>10929270You're having a meltdown because some adults much older than you didn't want to talk to you almost ten years ago and you have the gall to accuse other people of being sociopaths/narcissists lol
>>10929271Nope, just pointing out the lack of empathy in the replies and sharing my own experience. God forbid I tell a story relating to my own EGL experience. All the tourists and new lolita's will see this thread when it's archived and know exactly what kind of sick monsters hide behind cute frilly dresses and will steer clear.
The replies make the western egl very repulsive.
>>10929271Pls go back to lolcow, we can tell the type of personal you are, top kek
>>10929272Consider therapy
>>10929275>Lack of empathy and a deficient moral compass are characteristic traits often associated with sociopathic personality disorder, clinically referred to as antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Individuals with ASPD typically exhibit a disregard for the rights and feelings of others, often engaging in manipulative or exploitative behavior without remorse. These traits contribute to their difficulty in forming and maintaining meaningful interpersonal relationships.I'm not the one who needs therapy.
>>10929276it's pretty obvious to everyone else you're unstable with all these samefag replies. Get some help.
>>10929277Telling a person who's sharing their experience that they were annoying a burden and egging them on is also pretty unstable and cruel.
>>10929277Please leave the fashion, we don't need people around who aren't welcoming to newcomers or people who paint the community in such a hostile light.
>>10929279>unironically saying this in the ita threaddid lor namedrop the site again?
>>10929272Yes, we are begging you to please stay away from the lolita comm. Other anons need to be nastier to get you out for good.
>>10929277>>10929280Imagine spending hundreds of dollars on dresses and accessories just to police other people who have less money than you wearing similar clothing, and have the gal to call other people entitled for having an awkward experience and sharing it, when they were just starting out. You've never heard of an ita phase and it shows.
>>10929282This is the exact reason that one girl left deerstalker pictures.
>>10929282That just motivates me to wear it even more and be kind to other people while out and about just to spite you.
>>10929270>I'm 24 nowYou need to touch grass. I can't imagine how awful you were at 16 if you're like this at 24.
>>10929287You need to look in the mirror.
>>10929287>tfw when you find out you're arguing with an autistic women with lolita as a hyperfixation
>Must be a fan of LovelyLor.Actually watches;The Stitchess, Pearlie Cute, Unicorn Princess, Princess Peachy, Heather Hodges, Fairyanne, Sea Princess Selkie, wickedbunniez, Dodo the Extinct, Lanie in Wonderland
>>10929272>All the tourists and new lolita's will see this thread when it's archived and know exactly what kind of sick monsters hide behind cute frilly dresses and will steer clear.They're gonna see you sperging out and having a meltdown over something that happened nearly a decade ago across 20 different replies in the ita thread when there's literally a comms thread still up. If you're not embarrassed, you should be.
The lolita community and society in general hates neurodivergent people.
>>10929294Sperging out/meltdowns are just part of being inflicted with autism, oh wise pessimist please enlighten me on how to cure myself of my genetic defect of autism.
>>10929297Have you tried not existing?
>>10929296>I'm not reading any of that>I'm not reading any of that because you're right and I don't want to acknowledge my behaviorFIFY>you can stop replying.That was my first post ITT, unlike you. >>10929297AYRT, You can stop samefagging and shitting up the thread now. Most of us are autistic and don't act as shamelessly retarded as you do. If you're self sufficient enough to go to a meet at 16, you can adapt. Unless you're saying you shouldn't have been there in the first place? You probably caused a huge scene there and you're leaving that part out kek
>>10929300Nah you're not autistic, I can tell just from your replies you're not on the spectrum. Also I didn't cause a huge scene, I was quiet almost the entire fucking time because I was waiting to get a word in, I was the third wheel.
>>10929297Meltdowns are a part of having autism but it's not everyone else's problem to placate them. That's on you to do. Realize that you're having one right now and step the fuck away.
>>10929300You can't even take my story at face value because you refuse to even believe that people can treat them like shit even if they haven't done anything wrong.
>>10929302It is when they egg the person on and start shit with them intentionally, then try to silence them for replying. Half of the responses here are just hateful as hell because my experience wasn't sunshine and rainbows at my first ever lolita meet and it's disgusting.
>>10929300i think it's a male.
>>10929306Yeah, I'm just reporting for spam and moving on instead of feeding it. 3 replies in under 5 minutes from the same person is ridiculous.
>>10929304>>10929303No one cares that you were treated like shit, that's what you seem to be missing. Minors don't deserve to be in lolita comms unsupervised anyway, it's a risk to the people that you are obligating to take care of you. They can be held liable for you getting injured, in trouble or whatever else. Look up the law and stop whining.
>>10929212Ayrt, that's not a good first experience. I hope that you never encountered something similar with other people, and I hope that it's also your experience that the large majority of lolitas are pretty nice people. CGL is not representative of the community. The anonymity attracts all sorts of people including some who were kicked out of all the other lolita spaces.To me it doesn't matter why they did what they did (liability issues or something else), these were people in their 20s so I think there is a reasonable expectation that they also behave like adults. If they did not want to be in this meet with you they should have cut it short and left instead of letting it drag on and trying to make it so uncomfortable that you left on your own.
>>10929322It's not a good experience but we have an unreliable narrator who's shown in this thread they have terrible manners and behavior. Thinking there's more to it than what's being said because it sounds like the stereotypical "elitist brand whore bitches ignored me because I wasn't wearing brand!!" story that gets parrotted a lot.
>>10929324Ayrt, good point. I tend to take people's stories at face value, unless they're obviously ridiculous/satire/trolling. I also probably didn't read all of the comments. But I do hate when people make stuff up or heavily embellish whatever happened because they have unfounded beef with the comm. It's often someone who asked for advice on BSOLF and then threw a tantrum when people did not kiss their ass. Or got told something wasn't lolita, but they insist on being able to call it lolita so they start making accusations of elitism.If this was an isolated incident for that anon, and the rest of their lolita "career" (for a lack of better term) followed the normal trajectory, then I'm more inclined to believe it. People who make stuff up usually talk about multiple bad experiences with lolitas, or they generalise the community and go around telling non lolitas online how awful the lolita community is. It's a very rare occurrence imo, because the large majority of lolitas are nice, especially people who attend meets. And even when they're not super sweet they're usually still polite. In my experience truly horrible people usually leave the comm on their own if they're not kicked out, and they're not likely to attend meets as they believe the others are beneath them or because they don't "vibe" with the entire comm because the entire comm has a different idea of what socially acceptable behavior is.
I am 70% sure that this is a replica
What is it with men and pretending to be e girls? I swear this is a epidemic on Reddit.
>>10928370It’s a shame because gloomth used to have decent oldschool dresses and some of their photography wasn’t bad. My theory is that they weren’t making enough money so their tried to branch out into different “styles”.
>>10929209When was the last time you interacted with the lolita community? Western lolitas pay ungodly amounts for garbage, it’s literally the cover of the thread. AP hasn’t been the standard for quite some years, the designs have been better recently but the quality still doesn’t live up to their Burberry cotton.
>>10929182some of the biggest kimono/wafuku accounts i follow are westerners. people like people who wear them correctly, and you don't have to be japanese to learn how to wear them correctly. same's true for lolita
>>10929301ah yes because masking and differing degrees and presentations of autism don't exist, all autistic people definitely type the same and act the same all the time, 'when you've met one autistic person you've met all of them' for sure is how that saying goes
>>10929515One of the things that gets me the most is how often men trying lolita stand/pose so weird. It's either a really masculine way of standing or a really overdone fetishy caricature of how "kawaii girls" pose. Or they look expressionless and stiff.
>>10928181"Manifesting"I hate this shit; this isn't a Disney movie where if you wish on a star you get what you want. If you want something try to actually take the steps to get it.You wanna not get pregnant there is a million and one birth control methods out there to use.
>>10928367Another round of "is this an uggo woman with drag-style makeup or a man?"
>>10929551she looks constipated
>>10928183Imaging being in your 20s-30s and having gone to Disney no more than 23 times. And buying a different pair of Mickey ears every time.
>>10929513the shorts peeking out in the back is so embarrassing… jsk is way too short to be worn in public like this. also sadly that isn’t a replica but is the recent mto.
Loads of these coords are so cool. No wonder ya'll are rotting on this forum, you must have no creative bone in your body to be this bothered.
>>10929552this really frustrated me because not one thing on this person save for the skirt is even loliable, much less a lolita item at all.
>>10929678Something you should understand about lolita is that the fashion isn’t designed to be very experimental. The fashion has roots in retro and Victorian eras of dress which were also not very experimental or artistic, even though we see those fashions today as extraordinary because they used actual sewing craftsmanship. All artists use some type of formula for their work, this doesn’t mean that their art isn’t “cool” it just means they’re comfortable in their own identity and don’t need to completely reinvent themselves to convey a meaning. There’s many more popular styles and communities you can join if you like experimental fashion, but that doesn’t mean that formula in art and fashion is inherently bad.
>>10929678>>10929701There is plenty of room for creativity within lolita fashion imo but that's no reason to look bad.The pictures in the ita thread are there not because they're experimental but because they're either not lolita or, more commonly, a very badly done attempt at lolita.
>>10929551This girl is seriously retarded. Every time they post their house it literally looks like a hoarder house with shit just thrown everything. You know their a perma ita when their posts get deleted even on r/lolita.
Her coords are alright but it’s kind of annoying that her clothes are always ill fitting like this, she’s to tall for literally almost all of her lolita clothes.
>>10930209this is so weird, it doesn't even read as lolita to me. What's up with that skirt?
>>10929513her coords are always garbage and she does not fit the clothes, why is she even in this fashion?
>>10929515it's autogynephilia
Pixielocks announced her return to Lolita fashion with a whoopee cushion inspired look.
>>10930621not the upside down wrist cuffs
>>10930621Her sewing skills are actually good but her coords are awful, she needs more lolita accessories and shoes.
>>10930209Just block her if you find it annoying, that's what I did. I have no idea what makes her think that anyone wants to see her mediocre coords every fucking day
>>10930213It needs to be steamed, but even that wouldn't fix the fact that this is a low quality "lolita" skirt she bought on taobao
>>10930621The regular ankle socks with the high heeled mules is horrendous. Not to mention the wonky fabric strawberries don't match the whole balloon theme she has going on.
>>10930621I wish she'd stay away, she's drama on short stubby legs>>10930629they're really not and her design skills are even worse unfortunately
>>10928052does wearing taobao like infanta make you ita? im not big into lolita and like amavel but cant afford for a while until i start getting my neetbuxx. i think infantas pieces are pretty
>>10930804Last thing Lolita fashion needs is LACE pt 2 lmao. It’s funny because she never mentioned being affiliated with the “movement” in her announcement video. Newlitas better be careful because she loves to seek attention in whatever community she’s apart of. Clearly the mental illness larp wasn’t paying the bills.
>>10930825It’s not ita as long as you coord it well and don’t try anything too experimental with it. Coording taobao is harder then coording brand dresses just because of the stigma that comes along with it, but in itself it’s not bad.
>>10931116I was just about to post this kek. Casual high tea coord my ass, this is godawful.
>>10929283>You've never heard of an ita phase and it showsYou make it sound like it's a bad thing.>>10930825There's decent pieces out there. If you can make them work then it should be fine, Chinese origin aside.
The lolita subreddit is truly a gold mine for itas. The socks that look like they have been used as toilet paper are my favourite part.
>>10931321Taking the photo in a ladies public bathroom, classic agp. Disgusting behaviour.
>>10931325what's that on his foot?https://youtu.be/zwUe7-4-_TY?si=XGbK43DL_JakP2Fz
>>10931321Disgusting. I hate troons.
>>10929130>>10929234Nayrt but I hate the way lolitas throw around the word “baby sitting”. Baby sitting implies that you are taking care of a child as their guardian for a period of time, a lolita com is very different because it is a event you are deliberately going to and accepting that is a child friendly environment (unless stated otherwise). Teenagers and small children are very different when it comes to maturity and teens often are already practicing adult behaviors, I can’t speak for older generations but I can tell you that the majority of teens today can 100% go to a lolita com. If you tolerate fetishists and autistic people there’s no reason not to accept children either. You’re also forgetting the fact that most teens have ways to communicate with their parents outside of their home. This is clearly just a hatred for children.
>>10931346nayrtI hope this is a troll comment.In case it isn't: The biggest concern is about the legal responsibility and the risks associated with it. At first I did not understand why minors weren't allowed to go to meets with my local comm unless they brought a parent or guardian along, but the mod explained that we would be held responsible if something happened to a minor at a meetup. They used to allow minors to attend without a parent/guardian but something happened (a minor attending the meet got harassed) and the mods were terrified they would be held responsible since that's the law.The level of maturity of teens (who are minors) is less of a concern but it's still something to take into consideration. Imo I think 17yos should be able to attend, but it gets a bit iffy below that age. It's not that we wouldn't be able to have a conversation with a 15yo, it's more that the early to mid teens are a turbulent time and they have trouble self regulating (emotions, behavior) and are more prone to drama.Autism; There are a lot of people with autism in the lolita community and in the 15+ years I've been in the comm I have had zero issues with them.Fetishists; Based on experience I view anyone who looks to me like they could be a fetishist as a ticking time bomb.I don't think most people who don't want minors to attend do so because they hate minors, I think most of them just want everyone attending to be an adult so they can have a reasonable expectation of an adult level responsibility and maturity. And whilst I think most meets are child friendly in the way that nothing happens that children shouldn't see or hear, people do tend to adjust what they say, how they say it, and what they do in order to make the 15yo (for example) feel included and able to understand everything that is talked about. This topic has come up before and some lolitas told me they do this automatically and they won't be able to really relax.
>>10930610>fatty hovering next to an AEDvisual poetry
>>10931346I wanted to add that it's pretty much a standard that hobby clubs that are mostly attended by adults don't allow minors to attend. And the ones that do don't allow minors unaccompanied. I've attended quite a few hobby clubs over the years and when I was a minor I went to groups that were specifically for minors (multiple art and sports clubs). When I became an adult all of the groups I was a member of were only for adults (multiple art clubs again, yoga, hiking). Some of these were not official organisations, but were organized by regular people who got together because they had the same interests. That is the same as how local lolita communities function.
>>10931346Hatred for children is fine. They have no redeeming qualities. I'm not even being edgy, they legitimately are not cute or endearing, and I don't understand why women are supposed to "welcome" them by default.
>>10930209i wish she'd just stick to fairy kei and general j-fashion spaces instead of trying to shoehorn herself into lolita. while cute, this doesn't even read as kajurori
>>10929027I'm a fatty mcfat 145cm bust and I buy a lot meta and mam. I just don't post my shit online ever. this thread being one of the reasons.
>>10931361nayrt,A recurring thing I've noticed is that some people expect certain things from the lolita community that they would not reasonably expect from other hobby groups/communities. Last time this came up was when someone complained that in order to be a member of nearly all lolita groups you're expected to participate (learn about the fashion, start wearing it) and you can't just exist within the space.This is the default in a lot of hobby groups, it has been my experience that a lot of hobby groups will purge members who don't participate and some just don't allow people in if it's clear they're not interested in participating. Some groups even expect you to improve/progress at a certain pace.The lolita community has been one of the most welcoming and accepting hobby communities I've ever been in, yet at the same time it's also the community I've heard the most complaints about by people who are angry they can't just exist in the space/they're expected to learn/make/buy/wear things. These are the same people who cry "elitism" in situations where there is none.There's a huge double standard here, where it's okay and understandable for other groups to have boundaries and standards in their community, but not okay if the lolita community does the same. The fact that the lolita community is mostly made up of women has a lot to do with it, but I don't think that explains everything. Imo it's probably a combination of the community being mostly women, a creative and frivolous hobby, and that it focuses on cute and/or elegant fashion. Perhaps some people expect us to be as angelic as some of us look.
>>10931372lolita is a female oriented hobby so of course people expect us to be caretakers and coddle retards. while I think the "elitism" might be one of the reasons why the fashion is dying in popularity, I completely understand it because I'm tired of women being told to help others all the time. do your own fucking research if you like it enough, nobody owes you handholding.
>>10928281doesnt make her a hoarder, retard. women are just messy and she "tidied" her room for the pic. great, now youve got me whiteknighting for some random girl, fuck you faggot
>>10931371>145cm bustI'm astonished, but even more astonished when I just saw meta has a jsk that has a max garment bust of 190cm.
>>10931375ayrt, I don't think that the popularity is declining to a degree I think is concerning. People have said "lolita is dying" for over a decade and a half and the fashion is still here. New brands come, older ones go, some markets/demographics expand, others shrink. I do think that people are fully justified in hating that styles change though.What do you think qualifies as elitism within the lolita community?When people say elitism I think about the scenario of someone judging someone else because they don't wear (insert brand here). I have not seen that in ages. My experience with local comms and the community in general is that people don't care where you got your things or how many pieces you have. They care about whether it looks good, they care about people's behavior (can they adhere to simple social rules or not), they also care about beginner's willingness to learn. The only thing the community generally is against is replicas, and that's not elitism.
Crazy how lolitas on 4chan make 101 excuses for why older teens can’t join lolita coms. This seems to be a 4chan phenomenon, as no public lolita figure I’ve seen has had anything harsh against teens attending public events. Now you guys are making it related to stereotypes against women, should’ve seen that coming lmao.
This disgusting male needs to stay in his cross dressing subs and keep the fuck away from lolita. Wish I could say something on Reddit without getting my comments deleted.
>>10931321>>10931399Men were a mistake
>>10931392It's for legal liability reasons. Simple as.
>>10931361I used to hate kids but as kid get older I realize they are part of the community whether I like it or not. So I accept and am kind to kids in kid friendly spots. But don't bring your kids to a 1am late night panel everyone is drunk at.
>>10931392if you insist on babysitting minors please bring a form to every meet saying if anything happens you will be responsible for it, otherwise you're full of shit.
>>10928078how is that not cutting off her circulation holy shit
>>10931392You must be 18 years or older to post here.
>>10931392>excuses for why older teens can’t join lolita coms18 and up is considered an adult legally and they can attend meet ups without any liability issues. 16 and below is what I would call mid teens. So is this just about 17 year olds? minors can often join lolita comms, just not attend meet ups because of the aforementioned liability issues.
>>10930610what dress is this? its cute.
>>10931392because meeting up with unattended minors we met online looks and feels creepy. bring a chaperone or get over it.
>>10931532https://lolibrary.org/items/meta-apple-bunny-peplum-jsk
>>10928052
>>10930610Someone rescue that kumya
Same troon trying to appeal to the virtue signalling wokists in the Lolita subreddit after backlash over >>10931399and I can't believe so many people fucking fell for it
>>10931638Seeing the amount of praise this got genuinely made me feel sick. Someone went as far to say it was the best coord they had ever seen. I have to remind myself it’s Reddit and that site is crawling with trannies. Also makes me sad that people have such poor taste.
>>10931392I do not allow minors to attend meets that I host without a parent, end of story.I will not be held legally responsible for a minor; that is not why I host meets.
>>10931638I saw this too and reddit just keeps confirming my bias against it constantly. Also is that dress sitting super low down or am I just loosing my mind? Either way its a hideous coord from a hideous man.
>>10928052>>10928054>>10928056>>10928069>>10928078>>10928175>>10928177>>10928179>>10929513>>10930610There is no saving this, these women are simply too big.>>10928055Cheap-looking dress with no petticoat and no blouse, nothing done with hair. >>10928057Massive cheap lace on the blouse, ugly glasses, take that fucking silicone watch off, hideous plastic crown. What the fuck are you even doing.>>10928058Ugly glasses, limp hair, cheap skirt that sits poorly, no petticoat. >>10928059No.>>10928060No wig, ugly piercing, unflattering blouse, JSK doesn't fit properly and is wrinklier than an old man's ballsack.>>10928061>>10928066Physical manifestation of those stress dreams where you leave the house and then realize you forgot pants. >>10928172Off-the-shoulder cheap blouse and limp hair makes this look sloppy.>>10928176Needs blouse with more flattering sleeves and a wig but otherwise fine.>>10928183Cheap. ugly gloves, apron, blouse, and socks. Bodice of JSK seems too tight. Nothing done with hair- needs wig and head accessory (but not fucking Didney ears).>>10928223Cheap, ugly OP that does not fit. Skirt too short, which makes tights look like hooker tights. Hideous shoes. Peeking petticoat gives this sissy vibes. If male, that explains everything.>>10928248Ugly hair, ugly glasses, ugly makeup, ugly apron. Cheap, non-lolita blouse (look at the cuffs). Cheap JSK with poor construction, wrinkled. Ugly socks with hideous and filthy Crocs. Throw the whole coord away and start over. Don't pose with your mouth open if your teeth look like that. >>10928365Dollar store sissy vibes. >>10928367OP sleeves don't fit properly, OP is unkempt and wrinkled. Hideous hair; needs wig. Take those piercings out and don't take selfies from a low angle if you have a double-chin.>>10928370Jesus fucking Christ. >>10928371Take those piercings out. Non-lolita blouse, ita staple striped socks, ugly hair.
>>10928372Ugly hair, no blouse, ugly cape/collar bullshit, gross fetish collar. >>10928373No sleeves, wtf is on her head, wtf is around her neck, who tf cut her bangs like that.>>10928374>>10928375Ita staple striped tights + striped non-lolita blouse combo breaker. Get those fucking leather straps off, take those piercings out. Crusty hair, ugly makeup. Get that spiked headpiece off. The red lips made me think this was blackface for a second. >>10928376>>10928377>>10928385>>10928388>>10928410>>10928413>>10928416You are not a manic pixie dream girl, stop it. >>10928378>>10928380Crackheadlita. >>10928382Get that shit off your head, put a fucking blouse on, stop touching your meat curtains. Ugly shoes. >>10928383Patron saint of being a total pushover while looking like hot garbage. The itas flock to their clowny queen like tulle-winged moths to a propane stovetop. >>10928393>>10928395Shiny fetish gloves, hooker tights, ugly shoes. Feels like she's trying to be sexy, which is not what lolita is for. >>10928400Jojo Siwa? Fuck off. >>10928402Uncle Fester? Fuck off. >>10928406Ugly blouse, ugly hat, ugly straps, ugly tights, ugly shoes, crackhead hair. >>10928782She's describing how large that hideous and cheap bow is. God, I hate this dress. >>10928892>>10928935>>10929001>>10929515>>10931321>>10931399>>10931638Vomit.>>10929551Blouse sleeves do not fit and are not flattering, hair is hideous and fried. Take that fucking nose ring out, you look like you have sinus drainage. >>10929552Is not lolita, or even adjacent. Is something that a 13 year old would wear to the mall in 2004.>>10930209Cheap cutsew, too-short skirt, sad hair, too-short socks. >>10930621Oh fucking Jesus, not the DID larping dumpster fire. >>10931116No. >>10931608Will call himself a male feminist and then try to see your bloomers because "I'm just really into the fashion and love it when bloomers match haha."Good thread.
>>10931681no one cares
>>10931692And yet you responded. Sowwy you got posted.
>>10931643r/lolita is a lost cause
>>10931754I doubt this was ment to be taken seriously, the guys wearing pants underneath.
>>10931754besides the pants and shoes those two guys are eating her up, i'm embarrassed on her behalf
>>10931679>>10931681>>10931695Stfu all you do is clog up the thread with boring opinions that everyone here is already thinking. You're not special, there's no need to say this shit it out loud.
>>10931780>> doesn't know how to sage>> is too autistic to recognize that newbies won't see what's wrong with these coordsMake me shut up, nonna. Go ahead.
>>10931608Iirc this is an edgeworth cosplay and not an attempted at ouji but he’s been creeping on one of my Lolita friends.
>>10931762Does anyone know what this dress is called? I love the cats + sunflowers + cookies (?) print on it. It's a shame she didn't bother to iron it and styled it badly.
>>10931759I was looking for this comment. And what is she wearing? >>10931763Sissy vibes>>10931806I really like the concept but it looks like the quality isn't very good.
>>10931757Fr a friend got her zine and showed it to me, it's mostly all images of her and feels weirdly narcissistic. More so than your average fame chasing lolita anyway.
>>10931809Nayrt but I don't even know who this is. So she can't be that famous.
>>10931806Sunflower & Kitty from Chaton Jardin
>>10931708I think I got banned for being anti-slavery.
>>10931916let me guess, you spoke out against one or more specific chinese brands? I can't imagine anything else. I've toed the line many times on r/lolita where I was sure I would get banned or would receive a warning for what they call combative language when I gave concrit, tried to steer people away from buying low quality crap or told people that the other online comms were not as bad as they portrayed. Some of the people there love to portray other online lolita pages/groups as catty, elitist, etc, when nearly all pages/groups don't have any of that at all.But then I remember that people who get kicked out of other groups for shady/bad behavior do tend to go to r/lolita as the only option left for them, so it makes sense they would say those things.
>>10931918Actually it seems you can't reply to someone else in a thread if the person blocked you. And mostly they block me when I say slavery isn't kawaii. They also think I'm terrible for using 4chan because they don't know about r/theredpill and r/jailbait. But yeah, it really is where the fashion goes to die. Every fucked up bedsheet coord someone makes is more lolita than the garbage they buy. I kind of miss the boysenberry ones shitty coords. They were such a good example of non-fashion.
>>10928408Every military under the damn sun has worn peaked hats, you absolute sperg.
>>10931759It was a panel at Katsucon for noobs to try wearing lolita for the first time. Posting pics from it here is stupid
>>10931756The Epcott ita is the worst ita of all time
>>10931919>it seems you can't reply to someone else in a thread if the person blocked you.I didn't know that, and I think a lot of other people don't either because I'm sure they would have blocked me if they knew they could. iirc people think 4chan is worse than reddit. I don't think it is, there have been some absolutely terrible reddit subs and some still exist. Footage of people dying, footage women being abused, misogyny "kink", actual child porn, r/adultery, r/poop, r/meth, several animal abuse subs. All of the incel related subs where guys who are depressed tear each other down instead of building each other up (and then they dare complain that "society doesn't care about male mental health")But some people claim that thepinkpill and femaledatingstrategy are the absolute worst subs out there (worse than murder I suppose, priorities).>boysenberry coordsthat was one of the reasons why I gave up on r/lolita. I hate those people who have no dress sense and go around acting like they're some kind of authority on lolita fashion. Their reasoning is always "I've been into lolita for years", as if being a perma ita counts.That and all of the sissies/fetishists and the people who loudly cheer them on. The rules are set up in a way that protects these people so r/lolita remains a cesspit.
>>10931932Why is she squatting like she's taking a shit? >>10931988I can't handle being there. I'll peek in from time to time and it just makes me sad.
>>10932023>Ah yeah, you're just a TERF/GC who's mad Reddit doesn't allow hate speechSorry you got posted.
>>10932118She's def an ita but I'd rather have her in the fashion than you, and 99% of comms would concur. Hell, the fact that I'm even posting here puts me *wildly* out of step with most Western lolitas even though I'm posting to argue.>what do you MEAN a community full of neurodivergent millennial/zoomer women wearing an explicitly feminist fashion aesthetic leans far left and is trans inclusive?
>>10932023Ayrt, Those are some wild assumptions.Incel groups on reddit have also been a factor in radicalising people. 4chan is not an innocent wholesome place, but reddit is no better. Everything you mentioned happened on reddit as well. Multiple subreddits have been run by pedophile mods and there have also been memes about them. Which 4chan community jerks off to footage of people dying?I don't like fds, but how does the subreddit take a transphobic stance? Honestly I don't think the topic of transgender comes up a lot. It's unrelated to what they're trying to do.When I mention sissies and fetishists, why does your mind immediately go to trans people? Sounds like you're the transphobe here.I'm not bothered by trans people in lolita communities. Being against people bringing their fetishes into the lolita community is hate speech according to r/lolita, so you're right about that. >>10932122>99% of comms would concurNo they would not. No online or irl lolita community except r/lolita wants someone who uses actual pacifiers. That is a clear sign that this person is into lolita for fetish reasons and lolita communities don't accept that. Lolita communities are not a fetish friendly space. You're not allowed to bring your fetish into the community, you're not allowed to talk about your fetish (or other things about your sex life). >the fact that I'm even posting here puts me *wildly* out of step with most Western lolitasMost lolitas in western (English speaking countries but also west European) lolita communities read what's happening on cgl. A lot of them also post here. What's weird and out of step with other lolitas is that you wouldn't mind having a fetishist in your community.
>>10931988Her only suggestions are add wrist cuffs or cotton gloves. My favorite was when they dog piled on this women telling her that her EGA coord was not lolita, which is technically correct. Then told her to find the EGA sub, which, she's there. We've always hung out with the gothic aristocrats. And I've seen people advertise their OF their.>>10932023R/jailbait was a subreddit for sharing and sexualizing the images of minors. R/fatpeoplehate got so bad they banned it. R/theredpill is still there. I know this type of thinking might be hard for someone who thinks they need clothes made by actual slaves, but they both suck. The main difference is this board used to be a major hub in lolita, and r/lolita has been reduced to a fast fashion support group.
>>10932122If you would rather her be in your local comm, you're speaking from a place of ignorance. DDLG ageplayers, sissies, and doll fetishists have no place in the lolita community.Sissies especially seek humiliation from disgusted, frightened, or uncomfortable lolitas- our non-consent to their fetish is part of what gets them off.There is a healthy middle ground between being a prude or bigot and being a fucking doormat, but I've been in this fashion long enough to have learned that people who can't seperate their fetishes from a nonsexual fashion are not safe people.Maybe you'll understand when your local ageplayer freak starts sending comm members photos of her shitting marshmallows into a diaper and the mods ignore your concerns. Maybe not.The permissive attitude towards kinksters and fetishists is what led to the infamous "Beelita" meet, where a masked kinkster exposed his genitals to unconsenting adult women and girls under the age of 18. The adults present refused to take any action because they didn't want to offend this random freak who was not participating in good faith.I'm not a TERF or radfem, and I'm sick of the derailing and sperging about "iT's A mAn!!" everytime a vaguely masculine woman gets posted here, but swinging so far in the opposite direction that you'd accept a predstor with open arms is not it. Don't be stupid.TL;DR: Lolita is not a kink space, and if you want it to be a kink space, you're more than welcome on r/lolita...and not here.
>>10932139Seconded. I support trans people-hell, I am one-but I’m not going to roll over and say I’d prefer some porn sick ddlg ageplayer over a woman who has some masculine features. Who cares how attractive someone is if they’re doing egl correctly? I’d rather be joined by fellow ugly ducklings who I know won’t bring their daddy doms to meets.Maybe some of you forgot, but the ddlg ageplayers used to steal posts-including ones from actual children-on tumblr and use them for their sick roleplays. I had pictures stolen and used this way as well. Ugly women and yes-trans women too-belong in lolita. Fetishists do not. There are issues with fetishists pretending to be trans women to try and get away with their sick perversions, yes, but if someone is that blatant about it, they deserve the boot-no second chances.
>>10932159The picture-stealing is another thing that >>10932122 has not experienced and can't grasp, I'll wager.It was an issue in the FB comms too- fetishists stealing photos of lolitas at meets and slapping disgusting sissy transformation, hypnotism, dolly kink, or ageplay captions on them and then posting these girls to fetish forums for others to jerk to.Normal people do not do this. Safe people would never dream of posting a random woman to a fetish site to objectify her, and people that would do not belong in our community.
>>10932162>>10932139Contributing for off-topic.
>>10932163
>>10932125>>10932126>>10932139It's called a dogwhistle dumbass. Posting a visibly trans woman with a bad coord and calling her a fetishist is exactly the shit TERFs were doing before they went mask off. The response is also exactly from the TERFs of that era - bad faith "so you like male fetishists???" Like no the fuck I don't, but it starts with the idea that badly dressed unpassing trans woman is secretly a freak.God knows those people exist, both fetishists and fakers, but this is exactly the same as the people who insist they're not racist, they just HAVE to have the security guard pay extra attention to the blacks in the store.Also I'm aware of how bad Reddit used to be and in many ways still is, but 4channers have no leg to stand on, and because of the site's culture, you can't have a female space (cgl was/is the closest thing) despite not having that much fewer women than Reddit
>>10932164Dropped pic.
>>10932165If you find a fetishist's fetish posts, it's not a dog whistle, moron.
>>10932165THERE. IS. LITERALLY. A. FETISH. OBJECT. IN. THE. MOUTH.And arguably in the arms.
>>10932165A trans woman who posts her coords to r/lolita and also r/DDLG is a fetishist. I don't know how else to explain this to you.There are trans women that are not fetishists, and you can tell because they:>> put effort into their coords>> put effort into their makeup>> wear things that fit properly>> don't talk about sex or their sex life with lolitas>> don't post sexual content on the same account they use to post coordsCis women are also held to this standard, which you'd know if you were actually a lolita. You were never active in the older online comm but women were regularly called out for posting fetish content, such as the dildo face harness coord.
>>10932165They made the website unusable to many disabled people with their API changes, sell their user's data to train AI, and were home to r/TheDonald during the election. Try again nonny. These are both crap places, but only one is traditionally a lolita resource.
>>10932126>Then told her to find the EGA suboh jfc, if they were in the other lolita communities for even a second they would understand that adjacent fashions such as EGA and ouji have always been okay to post in lolita communities.>>10932139this 100%, but she seems determined to make this about trans people. I'm pretty sure trans people themselves are sick and tired of people associating them with fetishists. >>10932159here, exactly this as well. I don't mind ugly people, fat people, old people and trans people in the comm at all. But I do draw a very hard line at fetishists and kinksters.>Maybe some of you forgotI don't think the fetishist apologist has been into lolita long enough, considering they also defend r/lolita.>>10932162yep, this.>>10932163as long as it's about lolita and/or the lolita community it's on topic for the board even if it's not on[topic for the thread. But you're not going to get banned from cgl for talking about other lolita topics in a lolita thread.>>10932165first anon, and I really don't care what gender the fetishist is. If they bring it into the comm they do not belong in the lolita community.>it starts with the idea that badly dressed unpassing trans woman is secretly a freakIf it looks like a fetishist it is a fetishist and not a trans woman. Actual trans women are sick and tired of being associated with these people. I'm not saying trans people can't be bad people or bring their fetish into the comm (knowingly or unknowingly), they're still human after all and there are all kinds of trans people. But the large majority of trans people aren't going to bring their fetish into the comm. They usually actually care about being accepted in the comm. Fetishists don't care if they get kicked out of one place (not too much anyway), they'll just move to another site/page until they get kicked out there too for breaking the rules of conduct. Most of them are not interested in being accepted in the community.
>>10932165>because of the site's culture, you can't have a female spaceI'm pretty sure lolita communities are never an actual female space anyway. If you want lolita spaces to be female only it's not going to happen. But why would you need it to be a female space anyway? A space not being an exclusively female space doesn't mean it's okay to let fetishists in. R/lolita is unapologetic about letting fetishists in. At least on CGL we get to speak out about fetishists trying to weasel their way into the space.>>10932169>>10932170>>10932173all of this.
>>10932122I'd rather have trannies in my comm that some schizochans who can't shut up about trannies for 5 minutes. Even people who don't like trannies usually don't like hardcore TERFs either. I'm here to wear frills, not debate politics or humour some psycho troonfoiling, and IME trannies don't bring it up IRL unless you ask.
>>10932199kinda oldfag trans woman here, you're both right - yes, fetishists and perverts do get way, way too much of a free pass because most comms don't want to be even somewhat vaguely transphobic, so there's a lot of leeway for a lot of weird and disgusting shit if you can slap the blue pink and white on top of it, and there absolutely shouldn't be. To use the first person's example, it's like letting Black people steal because you don't want to be seen as racist.On the flip side, there absolutely is a slippery slope where you're calling out fetishists and weirdos, then you're calling out overtly unpassing girls (visible beard shadow, etc), then you're calling out trans women who have mediocre coords that don't flatter them (Lolita to me is the most inclusive fashion because of how *little* it emphasizes body shape and type compared with the overall aesthetic, but it's also the most easy to fuck up and look hideous if you try to bend the rules), and so on. "Ita" culture routinely goes down this slippery slope, and denying this helps nobody (also if you think most irl comms were okay with /cgl/ and its culture, you're the tourist, 100%, or you assumed you're some kind of silent majority when you're not)On the flip side to that, if you're a trans woman in lolita, especially if you're visibly a late transitioner or you lost the genetic lottery and ended up tall or whatever, you DO need to accept that no matter how inclusive the comm is, the standards WILL be higher for you, you WILL be held to more scrutiny, and you WILL have to work harder to fit in, because this fashion is explicitly about femininity and that means you have to put in more effort to be read as feminine, let alone fit in, because you're compensating for the fact that you started HRT at 28 instead of 14 and haven't spent a lifetime in the fashion. A lot of trans women don't really want to put in that work, and a lot of trans spaces will attack you if you suggest they should.
>>10932290following up on this, if that applies to you, ask for concrit on every coord until you're established, generally follow the rules (pretty much every deviation from lolita standard is going to go badly for you compared to a cis woman), and don't do ANYTHING that can be read as creepy or sexualized. Obviously this applies to cis women, but again, the standards are raised for trans women because we have to work THAT much harder to be read as feminine at all, and while, yes, cis women can be disgusting perverts, being a disgusting pervert is socially read as a male thing, and people will make those associations no matter how woke they are, because, as you point out, comms are full of queer neurodivergent young women, and one of the unifying experiences of this set is being subject to abuse and harassment, especially sexual abuse and harassment, by men. I, personally, would rather die than be lumped in with predatory men because of things I did, and if you're a trans woman reading this and wanting to get into this fashion, I hope it applies to you.
>>10932290>most comms don't want to be even somewhat vaguely transphobicI've spoken about this with 2 mods (from different comms) when it became relevant and they were both more concerned about how they would be perceived by people in the comm if they kicked someone out. In general mods these days are really hesitant to kick people out for anything so they tend to let things get really bad before they ban someone. Some exceptions apply of course.>calling out overtly unpassing girls >calling out trans women who have mediocre coords that don't flatter themPlease don't worry. I don't think someone is a fetishist/kinkster because of their features (adams apple, beard shadow, etc) or because they don't pass yet (if you don't like the term I completely understand but you're using it yourself so it's easier this way). I don't have a problem with cis men in the comm either.If I think someone's a fetishist/kinkster it's 100% a combination of how they present themselves, what they wear (sometimes explicitly fetish gear/ fetish clothing) and the way they act/interact with the comm. It's also other stuff like what's on their profile (might be a member of a fetish group, might refer to themselves as a sissy, a little girl, etc) but I only check that stuff out when I'm already pretty sure they're a fetishist/kinkster. I don't think someone's a fetishist just because they're unpassing and they're still in that awkward beginner phase with lolita fashion.I do agree with you that if you have masculine features (whether you're cis or trans) that's something that works against you when trying to look decent in lolita. There's other stuff like height, shoulder width, etc, that can make it more difficult to get things you like.
>>10932193“Nonny” is a term originating from TERF spaces like the lolcow farms and using it here makes the space uncomfy and unsafe. I wish you would use more inclusive language like “anon” so the ita thread can stay an inclusive space for people of all genders and species. And FYI, I sell my data to train AI to afford pain medication for POTS, fibromyalgia, and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome so it’d be sweet if you could check your privilege there.
>>10932290I should have added ayrt in my previous comment, but I'm assuming you got that already.Commenting to add that it's also an unfortunate reality that society in general is lookist, and so is the lolita community. I'm not saying it's deliberate. When people look at a picture of someone wearing lolita fashion they tend to judge it as a whole (incl facial features as well as body size and shape). Usually not knowingly. But it does mean that having beautiful features will elevate a coord that would be judged as mediocre on an ugly girl. So it kind of sucks for everyone who doesn't fit within the acceptable range of looks for lolita. It sucks for ugly women, masculine looking women, etc. Not as much as for unpassing trans women, but it's not automatically easy for cis people either.>if you think most irl comms were okay with /cgl/ and its culture, you're the tourist, 100%, or you assumed you're some kind of silent majority when you're notI said "Most lolitas in western (English speaking countries but also west European) lolita communities read what's happening on cgl. A lot of them also post here.".Most of them at least pop in from time to time to check what's happening on cgl. But they would never just announce that publicly because then people in their comm would think there's a chance they're the sort of person who posts pictures of local comm members to the ita thread or rages about fat lolitas, and people would lose their trust in them. Reading cgl doesn't make you a bad person, it also doesn't mean you agree with everything that's posted here. Posting on cgl doesn't mean you're a bad person either. You would be surprised how many lolitas admit to visiting cgl when they know they're not going to be judged. A lot of lolitas simply visit to check if they were posted in the ita thread, and then usually check out the other topics too. Or they visit for nostalgia reasons. Most of my local comm members admit they visit cgl.
>>10932291>being a disgusting pervert is socially read as a male thingmods are hesitant to kick people out in general but they do it more quickly to cis women than to other people. I'm guessing because they're not concerned about being perceived a certain unfavorable way for doing so.
>>10932367I've been on the internet for a long time, and "nonny" has always been innocent but annoying love journal and tumblrshit in the context of responding to anonymous asks. Predates lolcow. Try again.
>>10932371the anon you're replying to is obviously not serious.
>>10932371anon’s intentions don’t matter, what matters was the outcome and the outcome was to reactivate my trauma and trigger my PTSD. how about YOU try again, you sociopathic Zionist freak.>>10932373nuh-uh
>>10932173Can you link the dildo harness coord??
>>10932388Given that it was deleted after the poster blew tf up at the mods and other Rufflechat users who said it was inappropriate, I can't. It was, to my memory, a cheap dress with the wrong silhouette and a giant o-ring mouth harness.
>>10932366>In general mods these days are really hesitant to kick people out for anything so they tend to let things get really bad before they ban someoneYeah, as a general principle, I think it helps to have a very itchy trigger finger, but that hesitance is directly downstream of that cultural/community history. There's a lot of fear that bans are coming down based on identity/looks/personal shit as opposed to behavior. And honestly, a lot of that reputation has leaked outside the wider community. >Please don't worry. I don't think someone is a fetishist/kinkster because of their features (adams apple, beard shadow, etc) or because they don't pass yet (if you don't like the term I completely understand but you're using it yourself so it's easier this way). Very appreciated! I generally pass and have for a while so its mostly fine (I feel the most comfortable in lolita, and I'd be a lifestyler if I could afford it - I have enough pieces/accessories to get away with it, but I refuse to do anything short of drycleaning my pieces), but there has been history of that kind of thing. Even if you pass and your coords are good, the fetishist/kinkster stuff (which i do NOT want in the comm) gets applied to us as a blanket thing so it does create that anxiety. I used to read this place and BtB a LOT hoping I didn't get posted, and I didn't, but...>>10932368You're not wrong. But it's more of a "problematic fave" type situation than something we'd aspire to have in the culture. Like, the reason you get judged for browsing /cgl/ because it immediately raises questions (most notably: is she going to post my coord if it's bad, or if she doesn't like me) if not alarm bells. Like yeah, everyone's worried about getting posted here, and some people do follow the discussion (because there is valuable stuff here even if nobody would ever admit to it), but they'd never want *their* comm to have the atmosphere a /cgl/ thread does even if they agree with bits or pieces.
>>10932166i literally think plastic surgery and losing 30 pounds is the only way to fix this bitch's "coord"
>>10932412I've met lolitas who treat meatspace like they're on /cgl/ and it's the cringiest shit. Lolitas with mediocre coords who are catty and nitpicky to literally everyone else or make jokes about /cgl/ or BtB (back before it was kill) as if no one around them knew what they were talking about. They never lasted long; they either matured or left.
>>10932413did you reply to the wrong post? if that kid lost 30 pounds she’d be in the hospital
>>10932398nayrt, I remember this coord being shared on COF, and consisted of a mouth harness (designed to keep the mouth open for easy access, or to attach a dildo), a lolita head bow and normal mainstream t-shirt and skirt.>>10932412ayrt, and it didn't used to be this way. But you'd have to go pretty far back into western comm history. Mods from my old comm had no problem just refusing people at the gate (so to speak) if they looked like a fetishist. These days we ask them to fill in questions that could be easily googleable (and many still fail). They also had far less hesitation to ban someone if someone did something that could remotely be considered disrespectful or not nice. You were fine if you just behaved normally though.>I used to read this place and BtB a LOT hoping I didn't get posted, and I didn't, but.I think that says a lot about how you are perceived. If you had crappy taste or if people thought you were a fetishist/kinkster they would have posted you to cgl or btb. There are a few people on cgl who cry "that's a man" when they see a cis woman with masculine features, and I'm sure they do that to get a reaction out of people or just to shit on women who don't look like models because they think it's fun and it makes them feel better about themselves. I get the impression it's the same 2 or 3 people every time. Same for the people who say all trans women are fetishists. But these people are probably a tiny minority in the larger lolita community, and that's assuming these people even interact on other lolita platforms at all. Some people do go to CGL because they were banned everywhere else. Other than those few I think most people are generally quite good at telling the difference between who is an unfortunate/unpassing trans woman who hasn't quite mastered the art of dressing yet and who is a fetishist/kinkster. There is a vocal minority that defends kinksters though.
>>10932412ayrt again, and of course I agree that the lolita communities don't want their community to have the same behavior you can see on cgl. But that also won't happen because it's the anonymity that makes some people feel like they can troll and be assholes freely. They wouldn't have that same freedom irl because they're not anonymous in irl comms and not in the large majority of online lolita spaces. They would face consequences.I think there are always going to be one or more spaces like CGL where lolitas can freely give their unfiltered opinions (and sometimes be assholes), because even the non assholes need a space where they are not restricted by increasingly restrictive rules of conduct (spoken or unspoken) elsewhere. Some comms explicitly state in their rules you can't talk about topics that you should be able to talk about imo (like sizing). Most if not all online lolita spaces have a culture that makes it so you can't talk about certain things even if the rules don't mention that specific topic is restricted. For some comms that includes things like complaining that you were scammed or received terrible customer service/terrible quality item from an indie brand run by a fellow lolita. And concrit. Some groups allow concrit by default but the culture there makes people feel like they would be seen as assholes if they gave concrit. Even to the extent where a person might ask for it and people are still hesitant to give it. The more online groups change into hug boxes the more people will need places where they can exchange ideas and opinions freely.I think posting coord pictures to cgl that were only shared in your local comm is a huge betrayal, but it's true that once it goes online it's no longer yours to control. So people are going to post bad coords to the ita thread. I think cgl is fairly quick to point out that people are vendetta posting though (obviously because the coord is not terrible), it's also against the rules afaik.
>>10932413She needs a wig and some accessories. Calm down.
>>10932412ayrt for a third time to add that the anonymity of cgl also allows people to ask questions that could be considered stupid without any social consequences. Aside from what I call drama threads I also think there are a lot of good threads on cgl such as the stupid questions thread, draw thread, lolita general thread, sewing thread, brand specific threads, feels thread, positive image dumps etc.
>>10932427there are bad apples in every hobby group and like you mentioned they never lasted long.
>> nuanced discussion on an ita threadSometimes seagull is nice
>>10932443I will definitely admit a lot of it is self-consciousness. I'm not exactly small, and its hard to get past the fact that every time I shop for a piece (outside explicitly inclusive brands, which are themselves very new) the model for it is half my size or less, and I'm technically not exactly overweight for my height (fun fact: i once saved like 1.5k and composed a letter to AP in Japanese, then had a friend edit it for tone and context that basically boiled down to "I wlll pay this much or more if you can make my dream dress in my size" but I deleted it). So there's always that twinge of self doubt where some creepy guy in an Amazon dress gets posted and while I'm just as disgusted as any other girl looking at that, there's always that twinge of fear saying "do the girls in the comm see me as just another man in a dress in the end?" You do make a good point that if I *was* coming off that way, I would have already been posted. >>10932449I agree and I sometimes have to beg for concrit. But part of that is that nowadays as long as you get it 60-80% right, people genuinely don't care because people don't really like nitpicking unless there's something blatantly wrong. Stuff like sizing is becoming less and less of an issue, because of aforementioned inclusive sizing, but it should be okay to talk about "hey if you can lose weight a lot more of the fashion will be available to you!" but again there's always that slippery slope into outright fatphobia, but on the flip side there's no guidance on how to mitigate some of those aspects. Also scamming/customer service being banned is insane even if the vendor is a lolita.
>>10932479ayrt, maybe not in the same way but I struggled with self consciousness and self doubt a lot regarding whether "I was doing it right" waaaay past the beginner phase. My thoughts were "I know I have the basics down, but perhaps I could do something simple that's going to make my coords so much better and no-one is saying anything because they're polite". I was still asking for concrit in 2020, and at that point I had been wearing lolita for 10+ years. I rarely got any, so eventually I didn't even think about asking and stopped asking. Whilst I was still asking for concrit I found it helped if I didn't only specifically ask for concrit. I would ask "any concrit or suggestions how to coord this main piece differently are very much appreciated" and there would be more people who gave their opinions/ideas. Eventually not enough to keep me asking for concrit though. Something that also didn't help my confidence was looking up to lolitas who had amazing dress sense, but also wearing a completely different aesthetic and who were also naturally very pretty. Had I seen any lolitas with amazing dress sense wearing the same aesthetic I would have been far less insecure. I just grew less insecure over time (it took so much time though) through interactions with the community, looking at magazine scans and brand ads.aww, that story of you composing that letter and being willing to throw down that much money for one dress.If your comm doesn't exclude you specifically and if no-one seems standoffish/cold towards you and people are generally fine with the way you coord I'm sure your fellow comm members don't see you like some creep or "man in a dress", especially not when we consider that you are generally being perceived as female (passing).
>>10932479>but it should be okay to talk about "hey if you can lose weight a lot more of the fashion will be available to you!"when I said sizing talk I meant basically saying things like "my bust and waist are (insert measurements here), I'm looking at (insert dress here) do you think it will fit?/ can you recommend some pieces you think will fit". Some comms consider mentioning your body measurements triggering. Some comms also shut down anything even remotely similar to saying "ooh, I like this design, I wish they made it a bit bigger" because then other people might share their opinions and it ends up in a discussion about fatphobia, etc.You stopped being able to say "if you can healthily lose some weight you have a lot more options with (insert brand here/the items you're after)" many years ago, probably the early~mid 2010s. I remember a discussion back in 2018 in one of the fb groups where someone visibly morbidly obese made a post saying something along the lines of "my bust is 52 inches and I really want a chiffon blouse in pastel yellow like (insert jpn brand) is making, but I'm not finding anything that would fit me. Not surprising since japanese brands are fat phobic and are trying to keep the fashion exclusive. Can anyone recommend a shop that has what I want?". I got so annoyed by this post I answered something along the lines of "if you don't end up finding anything in your size you have other options. You can commission someone to make it for you, or make it yourself. Also I used to be bigger and I found that I had so many more options for every inch I lost, that's something else to consider". I tried to avoid literally saying "it will help if you lose weight" and sort of get the point across indirectly. She was angry and told me that she shouldn't need to lose weight to fit into things, she was naturally that size, etc. It's a miracle I wasn't kicked out of that group.
>>10932493So I get that we're LONG past where it was okay in most comms to talk about weight, but that specific attitude, that genuinely annoys me, simply because a lot of brand does NOT go great on me even when I'm in shape (I'll wear it because I love it but it clearly looks worse than my customs, which is what led me to consider that letter out of desperation) so, like, it's hard as hell to lose weight but at least it's SOMETHING that you can control to an extent, but I can't make myself afab. And like, if it's too hard, I understand and emphasize, but I don't scream at JP brands for not designing for English-speaking trans lolitas who are pushing 72 cm, why are you screaming at them for designing for someone who's like 3 times the size of their target audience? Lolita is a VERY niche fashion style with VERY small margins, they HAVE to use materials on things that WILL sell. This isn't fast fashion. Even JP brands are having to cut corners slightly just to stay afloat (little things, a bit less lace here, a bit more polyester there, but it's there). That's why I was willing to offer so much to make them consider a custom - it's not just the cost of materials, its taking labor off their normal processes, its changing how they normally design dresses - its a huge clusterfuck. Especially when brands *have* tried to design for overseas plus size and it generally goes up in flames.This is actually where I see the value in places like this - you can't say this stuff in most comms, but I've been around long enough that I have trusted friends within the community I can talk with about it.
>>10932537>that specific attitude, that genuinely annoys meI agree, it's so entitled to complain that a brand isn't catering to you when you're so far outside of their target demographic.Even worse was when somewhere just before or after the pandemic a lolita youtuber called AP fat phobic and racist because they didn't pick overweight african american models when they were doing a fashion show in the US (for an event). She also called them ableist for not including people with physical disabilities. I think this had something to do with her not being picked to walk the fashion show when she applied. She was dead serious though, and also mentioned that (according to her) this was done to keep the fashion exclusive. I jumped into the conversation when she mentioned AP not employing any plus sized staff. I knew that wasn't true and said "AP employs some plus sized people" and she answered that office staff doesn't count since they're not the face of the brand, to which I replied "No, I meant shop staff. AP's (insert location here) store has a plus sized lolita working there". She answered "what japan calls plus size isn't actually plus size", I replied "she's plus sized for japanese standards and this is a japanese brand and their target demographic is mostly japanese and chinese women". Then she argued that AP is an international brand (because they have a few stores outside of jp) so they should be making sizes commonly worn in the location their shops are in, so they should have "american sizes" because they have a store in the US. She called them "the H&M of the lolita world".They're invested in being in the role of the "oppressed" so there's really no point in reasoning with them, they keep moving the goal posts.
>>10932592This is increasingly a problem with my comm too, this attitude that because you want to wear something that isn't made for you, you are entitled to shit on the brand. The average is getting larger every year in many western countries, which means further from the lolita standard of JP size medium-large. I like a good shirring panel for ease of fit like anyone else but to expect all releases to stretch to accommodate very obese lolitas also makes it more difficult to wear for the average main demographic lolita. I bought a secondhand JSK that had shirring to allow a 45in bust and waist because it was really cute, I figured why not. It was sliding around on me and I'm a US size M. It's just not feasible to have a dress that fits as wide a range as people want.
>>10932603Ayrt and I agree. It's just not possible to accommodate such a large range of sizes with only one size. To be clear I don't hate the existence of plus sized people in the fashion, it's that specific entitled attitude that I despise. Over the years that attitude has been slowly creeping over from the US to Europe and there is one plus sized lolita in my comm who has made milder versions of comments like that. The other attitude I hate is people demanding jpn brand be made in all imaginable sizes, but then they're not willing to buy it when it is made.I'm really particular about how my clothes fit. My problem with "full back shirring" is that the side seams can move towards center front way too much in some designs if the people wearing the dress are much bigger than the minimum measurements. Since your bust isn't on your back the usefulness of back shirring is limited anyway. My most comfortable dresses have had a CF and CB shirring panel or just a CF shirring panel.If you still want to wear that dress and it bothers you how loose it is I recommend taking it in a little. I've encountered it many times that I bought a dress second hand and the bodice or straps are stretched out whilst this wasn't specified in the listing. Happens to dresses bought second hand from Japan almost just as much, so it might just be the elastic giving up in its old age rather than chonky lolitas straining the dress. I'm still annoyed every time I have to replace elastic unexpectedly. I know it's not a difficult alteration but I'm really not quick at sewing so this takes me my whole evening. I just want a heads up and a reduction in price that reflects the damage you know.
>>10932592They’ve used disabled lolitas in con shows before so clearly she doesn’t know what she’s on about
>>10932647
>>10932648
>>10932646I'm not surprised. People like her just want to find stuff to get mad about.
>>10932647swamp mary poppins
>>10932723It gets worse the longer you look>> trainwreck front and center>> trainwreck to the left>> trainwreck to the right
>>10932723there are very few decently dressed lolitas I can even see clearly in this image. People like him need to be forcibly ejected from the comm (×_×#)
>>10932804everything about this is horrible, but especially the shoes.
>>10932723this guy shows up to almost every single comm meet..
AaaaaaaaNot an outfit, but when people spread this info it makes me die a little inside. The DevilInspired…
>>10933000Devilinspired is somehow the best choice on this list…
>>10932859so after all the previous conversation, what makes this person who isn't dressed worse or better than the rest of the people in the picture an obvious fetishist who should be kicked out, other than being old and ugly?
>>10933364he is dressing worse than the other people in the picture who are also not dressing well. If I had seen the outfit on a woman I would have thought the same.Sorry you got posted.
>>10933364I'm obviously not going to tell you why he looks like a fetishist, just so you can try and hide those traits from us.
>>10933364Nothing fits, not even his wig.This makes it look like the goal for him was nothing more than "dress in girly clothing," instead of trying to actually look good. There's a reason why sissy dresses are cheap and ugly, and it's because it's not about looking good, it's about the humiliation from 'dressing like a girl.' So long as that goal is achieved, fit, quality, and cohesiveness of the outfit can fall to the wayside.
>>10933530I hate this stupid fucking print. Every time I see it I am angry. It makes me think of some kind of camp cabin from old horror movies set in the 70s that probably smell like pine trees, poop and bologna sandwiches.
>>10933567You are not alone in your hate over this print, I really don't understand why some people like it.
>>10933598It's so awful
