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Confess your sins and secrets /cgl/!


>i still own those generic weeb cat tights and i think they're cute and still wear them sometimes
>i still own my first "lolita" dress (horrible pink and white lacemonster) i got at my first con ages ago and just can't let go of it because muh memories
>whenever i shop for "normal" clothes for work i often find myself thinking "would this go with lolita?" and thus barely buy anything new
>i considered selling pictures of my feet/used socks for money to foot fetishists to get extra burando money once, never did it because too shy and nervous but sometimes wonder about it
>i can't bring myself to fully dislike weebs, i find them endearing because they remind me of my older days where i was so carefree
>also i kinda like seeing weebs fawning over my wardrobe,how i dress,... i feel bad about that but it's a nice ego boost
>>
I successfully derailed two consecutive unpopular opinions threads with single posts just by mentioning race
>>
>>9621953
wow, I can't believe mentioning something hotly debated (and in your case pretty obviously stupid) gets people to argue with you. please, share your secrets!!!

anyway:
>I unironically love punk, ero, and steampunk lolita
>>
>>9621958
Lol who said I challenged that fact. You were someone who got baited, weren't you?
>>
>have a boyfriend i don't love but don't break up with him because he buys me brando
>>
>>9621974
>proud of baby's first bait
don't worry, I'm sure /b/ thinks you're hilarious
>>
>use to run a lolita news site
>got shut down due to not enough adsense/traffic
>feels bitter now everytime someone complains there is no Lolita news site in English
>>
>>9622026
Sad. I actually read blogs regularly and wild have enjoyed it. Where were you getting your sources? How did you advertise? It's a shame it didn't work out
>>
>>9622003
that is no secret, hun

anyway:
>I can't stand all the SJWs I'm 'friends' with at cons
>>
>>9622004
Lol who said I was proud. baited confirmed
>>
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>>9622031
>posts about it so everyone will know about their adventures as ~extra special troll chan~
>>
>>9622027
hooked up with the full google adsense package and the server was big enough not to crash easily. got sources from having a japanese-speaking journalist translate pieces and then i'd do a write up and link back over. Eventually the money set aside to run things until traffic picked up ran out and no enough were reading to cover base costs.
Eventually we might save up to re-launch and try again.

>>9622030
I feel your feels. I support differing opinons, but it's tiring to remain polite for hours on end when the other end is not holding anything back. I thought cons were for escaping the real world.
>>
>>9622040
Hey, sometimes life is hard and trolling is our only salvation. Maybe they'll be able to sleep better tonight, having some kind of victory for the day.
>>
I don't like a single one of my lolita acquaintances but I keep making more and treating all of them extremely well so that I have more people on my side in case anything bad happens.
>>
I hate being a mod. My fellow mods never do shit and my comm is flaky when events come around. I think about leaving the comm a lot because people are so damn idiotic.

>event page with all info
>comm member asks at what time event is
IT SAYS RIGHT THERE LEARN TO READ
>same thing happens at least 3 times every time theres an event.
>Why do i even try.
>>
>>9622080
Maybe they're indirectly double-check the time hasn't changed? It's still annoying.
>>
>>9621946
>i only buy hentai and phone charms at cons and think the hentai seller's progressively more crusty MAGA hat is endearing
>>
>>9622046
Why not just start with a really cheap $10/mo shared hosting and then upgrade as you get more traffic?

>>9621946
>I find weebs and other OTT fandoms endearing. I have to hide my power level all the time and am a little jealous of how open and enthusiastic they can be in public
>>
>>9621946
>No Mana in uploaded photo. 0/10.

On topic:
I feel cgl is one of the least derailed and toxic boards. Deeeeep down, cgl has a place in my heart. Deeeeeeeeeeep doooooowwn.
>>
There's somebody I hate with all my heart more than anything else ever and they're a lolita.
They're not that notable afaik, and I've never even spoken to them.
I feel bad, but I guess it's good to channel all of my anger and hatred towards one person rather than towards many things.
>>
>>9622248
>i've never even spoken to them

you have issues that you should maybe try resolving instead of doing what you're doing for no apparent reason
>>
I like coming here to troll and read the stories
>>
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>>9621946
I have a shopping addiction related to lolita clothes and I can't get it to stop.
My bf and I should be saving for our trip but I keep buying dresses. I just bought two recently, holy fuck.
My boyfriend of course doesn't know, because he keeps me in charge of our finances. He simply wonders why we don't save as much as we should. I often lie about my bank account though, because I often get into a negative balance and I will as well this month. If he ever finds out or checks my account I will be fucked.
But I keep thinking "Hey, I can just sell one or two dresses and I'm okay again and I simply won't do it again!", but I never sell anything and I keep buying dresses.
I'm already afraid of the temptation of my next paycheck and the cheap wishlist dresses I have bookmarked...

If I could at least sell one dress this month, things would be a lot easier. But I love them all so dearly, how should I decide?
>>
>>9622026
Would be super interested in this, especially translated stuff.
>>
>>9622046
I'm guessing you used something beefy like Wordpress. You could have used a static site generator like Hugo and hosted it on a $5/month Digital Ocean instance, or on S3 for real cheap. Heck you can even host it off of GitHub for free. A low traffic static site should not cost so much that you have to go under.

My question is: what were your sources? I'm legitimately interested in doing something like this (I can speak Japanese) but I can't think of what lolita news would be besides new release and event info. Sites like KERA are mostly snaps and model pictures, probably not kosher to steal their images and translate it. So I'm curious where you found your news.
>>
I don't know if you guys remember but awhile back there was an anon lurking the BST threads looking for dolly cat special set and I bought one from one of the links that was meant for her.
>>
>Left cosplay community after last relationshit drama 4 years ago, after a string of heartbreaks and fucked situations, and being a person I wasn't proud of.
>dawning realization that I only attract women because I wear fucking costumes, and am only a passing fancy for these women.
>Eventually get over myself, realize only way I'm going to meet women as fucking weird as me into cosplay is if I go cosplaying again.
>Oh fuck I'm now 30+ years old.
>All the 30+ year old women are either taken, broken by drug addiction, fat legbeards that will crush me under their frame, or too cos-famous for me to get with.
>Realize the only women that will give me the time of day is fresh into the cosplay scene 18-25 year olds.
>caveat: younger fans have no idea about classic/vintage animu, and if unlucky, they don't want to know about it either.
>Not sure how to feel about it, but going for it anyways.

I didn't get into cosplay to meet women, but I'd be foolish not to realize I've been dateless from the moment I stopped doing cosplay on the regular.

I feel somewhat disgusted with myself, but I really don't know what else to do.
>>
>>9622270
Anon, dresses won't love you back if your boyfriend leaves you. They're just a piece of fabric. Experiences will last longer in your heart and mind and are good even when you're old, unlike loli dresses.
>>
I wanna cosplay Mei from Overwatch just so I can show Moomookun how it's done.
I don't even really like Mei. But damn I wanna rub my skills in her fat face.
>>
>>9622521
Just do it anon, for the love of everything good. If you're plump and cute and do Mei I'll love you. She's closer to Jabba than Mei anyway
>>
>i want to buy myself a nice high end ($2-4000) coat but I've convinced myself it's too expensive and keep blowing money on brand instead
>Pretty much any expense over $200 makes me consider how much brand I could have got for that much, car insurance? Broken computer? Could have bought brand with that
>I secretly wish I'd been more of a weeb and stayed in contact with my weeb friends in highschool as I had at least one 'lolita' friend and had nearly converted another and miss browsing f+f and Bodyline together and just being terrible cringy messes.
>>
>>9622270
Stop. Your fantasy life will come crashing down if you can't help yourself.
>>
>>9622388
>>9622543
Thanks anons, you are right. I've now posted a dress and a couple of other things for sale right before work. Now I hope I can make things right again.
>>
I like cosplaying characters with revealing outfits because I love when thirsty congoers stare at my tits or ass.
I'm not even trying to get cosfamous, it's literally just because I'm somewhat of an exhibitionist. I mean, I don't get off to that or anything but it makes me happy (?) in a strange way. Good thing I'm not very well known as a cosplayer (I don't really post any of my stuff on the internet and only have a handful of con friends who are all pretty chill) so I can do pretty much what I want.
>>
>>9622026
I haven't heard of such a website (or maybe I heard but forgot the name), did you made enough promotion fot it? I did one for my own country but then I startes to work I didn't had enough time to update it anymore
>>
>>9622362
My story is very similar. I also quit cosplay almost 4 years ago. I would like to get back to, since the community where I live now is not as toxic, but there aren't that many older cosplayers. Specially male ones.
>>
>>9622552
Gotta agree that getting lots of stares is part of the fun.
>>
I only go to meets because I feel like a fool dressed up alone.
I don't talk much and don't really get along with the comm members because I don't think we have a lot in common.
>>
>>9625784
Get over it, or consider wearing less OTT coords anon. It's really quite fun going out in lolita alone once you get over the terror
>>
My former cos-frenemies are insanely dramatic. I finally cut ties with them and now all their narcissistic personalities became friends in the past month. Waiting with popcorn for them to eat each other alive.
>>
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My only confession is getting too fat to cosplay now.
>Got too fat to wear my kylo ren costume
>can't troop with the 501st now
>no chance of losing the weight for the last jedi premiere
Just end me senpai I miss feeling badass
>>
>>9626597
You have plenty of time anon. Drink more water and get myfitnesspal. You can do it!
>>
>>9622552
>>9622669
Tbh me too, but not necessarily because exhibitionist/turns me on, just because it gives a ton more attention than an average complicated cosplay that shows off nothing.
I'm pretty sure every cosplayer atleast finds the attention as one of the reasons why you're cosplaying. It feels good to get attention.
>>
I love tacky taobao brands like To Alice and Diamond Honey. Never bought from them tho, I save up for brand.
>>
I just saw myself on the ita thread. And I really don't care , at least more people can see my outfit

Yay for not giving a fuck
>>
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I don't mind and sometimes enjoy itas and think they should look like hot messes if they want to. Not because I look better next to them or some shit, but because they genuinely seem to enjoy themselves. I kind of wish I had that same spirit again.
>>
I'm feeling pretty proud of this year.
Been a cosplayer flying under the radar for well over a decade and I liked that because it kept the hate away.
Well I got invited to a con and felt some impostor syndrome. But then after that I got a couple awards and appeared in a magazine. So now I feel like the con runners made a good choice in having me.

tl;dr: I feel a little more worthy.
>>
>>9627637
>Get posted to ita thread for the first time
>One of my favorite celebs likes the same photo on my Insta
>Feels fucking good man

>Get posted to ita thread again a few months later
>Someone says I actually look cute and that they like my coords

Most of this board is filled with worthless opinions of people who want to believe they're important to the fashion.
>>
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>have prob 20 or more numbers, snaps, instas, etc of girls that I met at cons that I haven't hit up or completely ignored their messages because I don't know how socializing works. 24 year old kissless virgin
O-oh well
I sure hope I don't see them when I go to the respective con I met them at next time I go
>>
>>9627712
Or, you know, 4chan isn't a hive mind and different people have different opinions.
>>
>>9627831
most of 4chan is a hivemind. It's why more than one board uses the autism meme.
>>
I want to half ironically cosplay rosechu and put legitimate effort into it.
Get ben nye and paint part of my face. Get a nice wig. Rig a tail with fishing wire from a base at my shoulder blades so its standing up.
Green circle lenses.
>>
>>9627712
Yeah that sounds about right
>>
>>9627871
I like that idea but I'd be scared that chris-chan might get the wrong idea about you and your intentions

Confession time
>Been always the overlooked tomboy my whole life
>still sometimes want to get a cute lewdy maid uniform to go to cons just to get men thirsting after me because I want to be that girl just once
>I know I could totally pull it off but I have to much self respect and a boyfriend
>>
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i'm lowkey an attention whore.
i wouldn't want to be famous (anymore at least, used to when i was a youngster)or anything but i rarely take pictures of myself (because it's a pain,i look like shit most of the time on camera,...) but when i do? oh boy, if i get one,two or three good pics i'll post them everywhere and expect compliments (which i usually get) and feel frustrated if it doesn't have as much likes as usual or if i don't get noticed.

And the worst? I'm that girl who goes on about how in the end, internet "notes" aren't worth anything and you should learn to love yourself and not depend on validation too much yadda yadda. I'm a fraud.
>>
>>9627712
I wouldn't say they're all worthless, even though since it's 4chan, everything must be taken with a grain of salt. But let us not forget that the loudest are often the loneliest/most annoying/not-so-important/... people in real life. There were proofs of that.
I do agree with the "want to believe they're important" part. That or they try to make themselves feel better by projecting their insecurities.
>>
Im a lolita who is pursuing a BDSM/S&M relationship.
While its 100% not age play and the two interests are completely separate, Im afraid to even accidentally let it slip to anyone in the lolita comm, because of the (justifiable) vitriol towards age players in lolita.
>>
>>9627913
There was another time where I got posted and people just called me fat but that's pretty fucking typical and not worth bringing up as it doesn't stand out.
>>
>>9627985
Not judging desu, I think that as long as you keep it behind closed doors it's alright. It's your business and not anyone else's.
>>
>>9627985
Why would you tell your comm members about your sex life in the first place? Keep it to yourself and you won't get shit for it. I don't understand why people fail to grasp this concept.
>>
>>9627985
how would you accidentally let it slip?

"oh, i love that release! the other day my master said that if i stick 2 needles in each of my nipples he would get it for me--oops, i slipped up!"

there's no way any of that would come up in normal conversation, control yourself
>>
>>9628005
>accidentally let it slip to anyone
Reading is fundamental.
And sometimes its not just your sex life, but your whole relationship dynamic.
If I were i accidentally refer to my boyfriend as "sir" in front of someone or while yalking about him, thats not going into detail about my sex life, but telling enough as is.
>>
>>9628018
it said "accidentally let it slip to anyone in the lolita comm"

if you're too stupid to avoid referring to your bf as sir in public then that's a you problem
>>
>>9622552
does lolita count as exhibitionism? because i thrive on the stares from strangers. nothing gives me more energy and vigor
>>
For a long time I've been joking-but-seriously-considering trying to get into camming online for money for brand. I joke that I'd make a good loli because I'm small and flat chested and cute, but I am disgusted by the thought of ageplay and lolita being in the same sentence. It would be a dream to show off my body and pander to beta creeps and their weird fetishes to fund my wardrobe, but I don't know how to go about protecting my identity online and don't know how I'd cope if anyone found out I was doing it as a lolita, even if lolita was never ever involved in my streams. I love this fashion and I'd never want to make it impure, and I /really/ don't get off on any sort of ageplay bullshit at all. I just want easy money and compliments from losers all day.
>The fact that barely cute girls in their early 20s are rolling in the dough by whispering and showing their feet/underarms makes me jelly, while I'm busting my ass at a min wage job with shitty co workers...
>>
>>9628076
let's be real anon, you're probably not as cute as you think you are if you're incapable of getting free shit without whoring yourself out.
>>
>>9628076
>caming is impure
Don't. I hate when people like you get into that stuff. You should only do it if you actually want to and you don't think its some dirty shameful thing.
>>
>>9628082
there's a difference between begging for shit from people you know "hehe I'm so cute give me things" and doing cam work as a profession.
>You're not really making any sense saying I'm not cute because I'm... not already making money.. doing the thing I just said I've never attempted to make money doing?
>>9628083
I don't think camming is impure but I do think it should /never/ be associated with lolita fashion. People don't need more reasons to shit on my favourite fashion.
Like just to clarify. I want to do fetish stuff, just nothing relative to ddlg/lolita. the one time I mentioned my dream to a normie friend they said I could make good money if I used lolita as a gimmick, but that idea disgusts me.
>>
>>9628088
>begging for shit from people you know
you misunderstand, because if you were really cute you wouldn't have to beg for shit. strike a nerve?
>>
>>9628076
don't, seriously don't.
>>
>>9628088
You sound unfun and I hope your snaps get reposted and you lose money.
>>
>am dude
>wear makeup and wigs, actually put effort into hobby
>girls notice this and think im dreamy~
>act flattered but avoid further contact
i don't want them to realize i would rather they kick me in the ribs and spit in my mouth, life is struggling

>dating within the community
probably a bad idea anyways
>>
Itt: prude lolitas are prudes
>>
>>9628094
I'm sorry you spent your life getting hand outs. >hurr hurr did i strike nerve r u mad? lolz

>>9628119
cool

>>9628108
Do you have experience to share? I'm genuinely interested to hear why you don't like the idea
>>
>>9628123
lolita or cosplay?
>>
>>9628128
Go back 2 fetlife
>>
>>9628132
Go back to your convent and maybe I will.
>>
>>9628130
you're clearly mad that you're not cute enough to get what you want without being a whore. sorry you're poor and ugly.
>>
>>9628130
Quit lying to yourself.
You need to either just give in and do it because you really want to or just work to make brand money like the rest of us.
>>
>>9628088
You need to see that regardless of what your hobby is, if you can you're going to be seen differently. And yes. If you are actually worthwhile to look at- expect your shit to get reposted. Do your own fucking research. This is not the board to ask about this on cause most of us don't cam for brand.
>>
>>9628142
weak
>>9628154
I do work for my brand already. I'm not looking for sugar.
>>9628175
Okay man, it's a confession thread I didn't expect anyone to even reply in the first place let alone to give me critical advice.
>>
>>9628181
>I'm not looking for sugar.
What is camming if not whoring?
You're so dumb. Have fun being apart of human trafficking someday.
>>
>>9628076
Same here, but with sugaring. I'm still researching and improving myself, but I'd love to keep old, more or less gentlemen company and sell their presents to secretly buy my dream wardrobe.
Just remember to stay as safe as possible if you're really going to do it and consider if it's really worth it.
>>
>>9628131
i was deliberately vague because im too ashamed of even the most remote possibility anyone were to recognize ome
>>
>>9628181
>i'm not looking for sugar
>camming

actual retard, no wonder you're making minimum wage lol
>>
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>>9628076
>tfw friends, family, and boyfriend buy me brand because they love me
>wouldn't love them any less even if they didn't
>also make enough money from own job to buy my own brand
>don't have to get naked in front of strangers
>super brand time
Nice!
>>
>>9628196
then how am i supposed to step on you
>>
>>9628184
>>9628202
>thinking creating an online presence, setting up shots/lighting, and spending hours a day on camming isnt a job just because "boo u whore"
>nayrt but youre really such a prude, this is coming from anon who wants to step on that cosplay/lolita sub upthread tho
>>
>>9628222
whats so terrible about getting naked for strangers? its easy money, hard labour doesnt make work more "real"
>>
>>9628237
Because as you can clearly see people are judgey as fuck about it while discounting how much work it is. It's easy work in the sense that you don't need any degree or qualifications to do it. It's difficult in the sense that you have to be constantly interacting with your chat and keeping up a persona the entire time. If you don't like customer-service type jobs I would say you would find it difficult, on top of the fact that you'd have to shamefully hide your profession from your family and friends. And furthermore once you lose your looks you'll have an awkward 10 year gap in your resume. Conclusion: go minimum wage
>>
>>9628068
It counts as alt. fashion. Keep your weird ass fetishes to yourself.
>>
>>9628301
it was a joke you ninny
>>
>>9628232
in my dreams

>>9628257
>>9628237
i've had friends try and fail to do this, and to have put yourself out there and gotten minimal success out of it seems to be a pretty soul crushing experience. appearance helps, but you also need a good camera with high quality lighting and sound equipment to be successful, and to regularly interact with fans and devise ways for them to interact with you. once you've created some payment system or whatever, you have to stand by it even if they've paid you to do shit you don't feel like doing at the time; dishonesty and inconsistency won't gain you any followers. it's sort of like being a self employed actor/model and having to manage your own social media/pr/camera/makeup/hair/props etc. i guess it's a legitimate way to earn money, but don't underestimate the amount of effort it will take
>>
>>9628403
ill step on you if youre an ouji, in my yosuke platforms
>>
I randomly found a couple of old pics of Connie/door-chan while browsing the blog of an antique store I went to recently. I was pretty surprised and kinda want to post them here but I'm not sure I should because they're pretty unflattering. Her face looks really different to her photos now and I'm curious what people would think but I also don't want to embarrass her or feed any vendettas.
>>
>>9628235
I'm saying its a job she isn't taking seriously.
>>
>>9628192
>I'd love to keep old, more or less gentlemen company and sell their presents to secretly buy my dream wardrobe.
This was posted by a roleplayer from r9k
>>
>>9628652
No it isn't?
>>
>>9628668
That's exactly what a frog poster would say.
>>
>>9628414
sounds like a date

>>9628652
i know a girl that does this, i would believe it was a robot if they involved cucking somehow but it isnt that unusual on its own
>>
>>9622026
what lolita news site was this?

I used to be in the My Asian Fashion forum community with the jfashion news a while back. I checked on it again now and the forum part is gone :(
>>
In short I really want to have a girlfriend to crossplay with me and have great yaoi sex.
>>
I have a hard gay crush on one of my comm members. She's easily the best dressed of us, and I'm a lame fatty chan. I'll never say anything to her about it because I'm socially well adjusted and don't want things to be weird.
>>
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>>9621946
I REALLY hate military lolita. Like with all the possible motifs, you go with one with barf green? Also anytime I see a military uniform, I'm just reminded of how WW1 soldiers with cholera and trench foot.
>>
>>9629136
*had
missed a word whoops
>>
>>9621946
In the back of my mind, whenever I go to a con, I keep wondering if I'll ever get complimented or have someone be interested in talking to me, not even necessarily romantically.

It doesn't, but I like to fantasize about unattainable things.
>>
>>9629136
>not thinking of bloodshed and how hardcore war is
They come in more than just army green. Not every army uses that color.
>>
>>9628706
I'm saying its unusual and too good to be true to be on this board because the other board exists and definitely posts here.
>>
>>9629168
but there was also chemical weapons, trench foot, cholera, unsanitary living conditions, pneumonia people being forced into draft, etc. And a whole lot of literal blood and shit and vomit. I just don't think it's cute desu.
>>
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>>9629218
Cute military lolita is usually like marching band stuff.
Most of it seems to be more gothic, which doesn't need to be cute all the time.

Also, what about sailor lolita? does that not count as a branch?
>>
>>9629223
I don't necessarily mean cute as in like sweet lolita. I was just using cute synonymous to "nice" or "pleasant". And I'm weirdly okay with sailor lolita, probably because so much of the sailor outfit has been popularized in media and culture (Popeye, Donald Duck, sailor uniforms, even Sailor Moon) outside of its origins unlike normal military uniforms. I'm not trying to make a political statement; It's a confession thread, and I honestly just don't like military lolita.
>>
>>9629242
What's up with all the people who think they can post and not get replies? Was I just supposed to read your comment and not say anything because it's a "confession" thread?

I already confessed to stuff in this thread btw. Now I'm just replying to other folks. It's how threads work.
>>
>>9629246
I'm okay with people replying and stuff. I'm just saying that if anyone's upset with me (I understand, I was a bit harsh in my original post), it was a confession thread, and I was a bit inflammatory for the heck of it. I'm not looking for anyone to argue with or change my mind, I was just confessing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>
I still yell butt scratha and card games on motorcycles.
>>
I preach exercise and eating healthy, but really I'm bulimic.
All I do in my free time is eat, puke, and shit.
>>
>>9629282
Butt scratcha wasn't just a "at my school" thing? Woah

btw you lost the game
>>
Sorry for the /r9k/ post but for real, I hate going to cons because I'm single and I always feel like I'm some sort of exception.

>be fat
>women only date fit guys.
>get fit.
>women start dating fat guys now.
>be confident.
>women dating emotinal sad sacks.
>become sad.
>women only dating confident stable people.


The list goes on and cons make this even more apparent.
>>
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>im obsessed with cosplay and jfashion cows on lolcow
>its beyond a healthy obsession
>highly considered traveling across the country to a con, spending $1000+ just to stalk my favorite flake
>>
>>9621946
how and why has that whole sin confessing thing even started at the first place?

and am I the only one who thinks that this has some kind of BDSM undertone?

and...
>i can't bring myself to fully dislike weebs, i find them endearing because they remind me of my older days where i was so carefree
>also i kinda like seeing weebs fawning over my wardrobe,how i dress,... i feel bad about that but it's a nice ego boost
...aren't a significant amount of Lolitas weebs too?
>>
>>9629331
are you asking where confession came from?
seriously?
>>
>>9629339
not really
only asking why I always see that threads on /cgl/
>>
>>9629343
yeah why the fuck do we have discussion topics on an image board.
>>
>>9629310
You're going on about it the wrong way. Instead of trying to become what you think women want (there's not a single answer to this btw), become the best you that you can be. Don't be so concerned about dating either, that usually ends up in bad situations.
>>
>>9629136
I don't necessarily hate it but it seems to attract a whole bunch of snowflakes who can't really dress themselves, kinda like how wa was (and maybe still is?) popular with newbie weebs.
>>
I prefer to keep certain smaller brands/stores I like "secret" and don't really tell people where I get my favorite things because the more people buy, the quicker the shit I want will be sold out (and the smaller the brand, the less likely it is they'll restock certain items).
I kinda feel like an asshole when I say "The shop was called [FakeName], but it closed down :(" or "I got this a thrift store" or some other bullshit, but it must be done.
>>
confession and feels thread at the same time seems redundant
>>
>>9629310
Do you have a really ugly face? Perhaps a personality trait that's really unbecoming!
>>
>>9629387
One is closer to an unpopular opinion thread.
The other is "this bad/good thing happened to me,and I want to talk about it"
>>
I kind of want to get back into cosplay but I'm tired all the time and kind of scared of going back to cons...
>>
>>9622248
What the fuck did they do to make you hate them when you haven't even spoken.
>>
I recently got a short haircut with front facing bangs to go with Lolita and I am in love. This may sound conceded, but I never realized how cute my face is when shaped with short hair!! I have the motivation to do more sweet coords and take more photos of myself! I feel confident than I have ever felt in a long time and I can't wait for the next meet!
>>
>>9629387
They wouldn't be if they knew the difference but this board is full of dumb bells.
>>
>>9629387
>>9629540
>>9629695
feels, confessions, and lolita insecurities thread could all be merged. it's a slow enough board and no one seems to differentiate
>>
>>9629579
probably being cuter than them
>>
>>9629579
It's not something they did to me but to someone else.
>>
>>9629746
what did they do?
>>
I like Melanie Martinez.
>>
>>9630191
Heathen
>>
>>9621946
i dropped a "friend" who
>lied to me about how long she was doing Lolita
>toxic and started all convos by shit talking/gossiping
>wasn't in the fashion for even a year and tried to correct me on everything about this fashion even though she constantly asked me for coord help
>shamed me for doing sweet even though she's doing sweet now lol...
>shamed me for liking some well-known Lolitas who coordinated well, yet tried to change my opinion of them by airing their dirty laundry to me
>talked shit about me thinking i wouldn't find out
>fashion felt like a competition to her because whenever i talked about my ideas, she had to do them first
>revealed how warped her view was on others including herself
my atmosphere improved and my other friendships developed better since letting go of our "friendship."
>>
I am the only sweet lolita in my comm, and i wear ott sweet. I feel like all the classic girls make fun of me behind my back, and I see them all have conversations about outfit planning and feel so left out. Theyre nice to talk to but I can tell they all have this special connection ill never be a part of.
>classic lolita is so easy, its all thrifted shoes and shawls and vintage pearls - they pick up items for each other when they go thrifting and im so jealous of their little clique.
>>
I'm a cosplayer and I have a very apparent disability, so I have to pick costumes that cover it up. I'm not trying to pretend I'm not disabled, but I don't want to be "that crippled cosplayer", or the one that "gets A for effort", or "good enough for someone with a disability". On the flip side, there are thousands of cosplay options that are unavailable to me, simpler or cuter costumes that I know I'll never pull off. I can't help but feel really bitter when I see how much attention the most basic costume can get if it's on a cute girl.
I wish more people appreciated cosplay as a form of self-expression and art, and less as another option to jerk off to.
>>
I love searching "replica" on LM and reporting every print replica that I see.
I have 0 sympathy for replica-chans.
>>
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Up until today I thought elements,h was a subbrand of h.naoto
>>
>>9630317
How did she have a warped view about herself?
>>
>>9630766
ngl she sounds like your average gull...
>>
>>9626597
lose some weight anon girls go crazy for kylo
>>
>>9630766
she needed validation through others that she wasn't skinny enough. she thought she was too fat for dresses and stopped eating and then tried to defend it. it was not only unhealthy for herself, but she hinted off strongly that i should join her too
>>
I'm going to break up a couple of a shitty cosplayer and her boyfriend because she's a piece of shit who ruined my con experience by making a big drama of a 'me first' when she badly cosplayers a character i feel strong attachment to.
>>
>>9629109
are you me?
>>
I buy all my cosplays now because the last time I made anything I got posted to the bad cosplay thread and hated on by people here
>>
It bothers me how so many popular lolitas shoop themselves to almost unrecognisable levels and then never own up to it even when it's really obvious. I'm not sure why I care, but it pisses me off to no end. I shoop my pics too, but at least I admit to it.
>>
I've been a lolita for seven years, but I feel like I never learned how to put together an interesting coord or accessorised well. I'm not an ita, I've never been posted to an ita thread or had a bad comment, but my outfits are just boring. I have several rare/valuable dresses, but I feel like when I wear them, I look like generic lolita #93646. Meanwhile, other lolitas put together interesting and artful coords from cheap taobao stuff, and they look like a million dollars. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and it makes me sad.
>>
>>9630960
>artful coords
Overrated to be honest, especially with OTT and "wearing lolita only once or twice a year to this one event" being so common. But if you want to try more interesting things and don't feel creative enough on your own, look up other girls' coords and see how they wear their dresses, you might get some inspiration.
>>
>>9630469
Your disability is being male, isn't it?
>>
>>9630960

Just so you know, most of the photos of taobao coords going around tumblr aren't artful due to their coords. They look nice due to professional photography, a beautiful setting, and decent post processing. In fact, stuff in the photos can be downright ugly and it'll get fixed up in photoshop before being posted.

Just saying, professional photoshoots isn't the right thing to compare a 3D outfit to.
>>
I get discouraged from getting into lolita because i dont have the $$ for brand, at the max some mid tier taobao stuff but still would make a dent in my finances.
Its honestly quite depressing but i just stick to mori that is more affordable
>>
>>9631265
Nope, thanks for trying.
>>
Ever since THAT manga with the character wearing Milky Planet got posted, I started imagining putting the bitches in my comm in the same situation as her for revenge.
>>
>>9631331
Well that's a bit extreme
>>
>>9631335
The OP that brought that first brought that manga into a confession thread said something similar but everyone ended up freaking out about the manga itself instead of what they said.
>>
As someone who recently got their citizenship and has multiple young relatives under DACA, I wish I can not like the current polictical climate without being called an SJW or a snowflake.

I'm an artist alley vendor and everyone flips their lid when I (rarely) say "hey, that immigration joke is not funny." I don't go on a tumblrtard rampage, I just say "hey, that's not cool" and move on.
>>
>>9631349
I think getting rid of the DACA is a good thing. It never should have existed.
>>
>>9625789
I used to be terrified of people looking at me when I went out dressed up alone but now it fuels me and I kind of love it in the same way as >>9622552
>>
>>9631349
You are being an sjw if you go up to people at a con not talking to you and try to police what they say to be more pc
>>
>>9631383
>>9631417
Oh hey samefag. I shouldn't, but I'll take your bait.

The poster never said she was policing other people's conversations. Maybe someone made the joke straight to her. And even if she did it's just as much her constitutional right to tell them their joke was lame as it is for them to make jokes. If they're allowed to voice an opinion so is she. It's not policing until the authorities are making someone shut up. If you're gonna stand up for freedom of speech, you could try not being such a hypocrite about it.
>>
>>9628646
Come on anon post it. Don't hold out on us

>>9630617
I don't recognise that brand at all. Is it taobao?

>>9631309
Secondhand brand can be cheap, especially lacemarket around the times of the year when the rich bitches open their lucky packs. Look it up. Keep your eyes sharp. Be patient and obsessive. You can do it.

>>9631349
I'm not a DACA Recipient, but both my best college friends are. I agree with you, the current political state is fucking annoying and toxic. I'm neither a Republican or Democrat, but y'all deserve better than this. I hope things turn out OK for you.
>>
Anytime I meet a new lolita I look her up on drama websites. Not because I want to start shit though. I'm just nosy and I don't want to be friends with someone with bad drama.
>>
>>9628123
r u step-on-me-Connie anon?
anyway, I think dating within the global comm, as in dating another lolita is fine. dating within your local comm might be risky if things end badly.
I respect your kink. I hope your wishes are safely and happily fulfilled.
>>
>>9631431
Lol fuck off
Just because your delicate sensibilities get triggered doesn't mean you need to barge into someone elses conversation
>>
>>9631349
>>9631432
Whether you like it or not, it's not the president's job to make laws like this. It should be kicked to Congress since ruling by executive orders is stupid and a band aid
It was stupid when Obama did it and it's stupid when Trump tries
>>
>>9631437
Oh, don't get me wrong, I think barging into someone's conversation for any reason is an assholey thing to do. But barring special legal situations, it's still your right to do it. That's America.

Congrats on your screenshot ability, by the way. Left border is wider than the right, though. Looks a little sloppy.
>>
>>9631441
I agree with this, big time. The current situation just sucks for the people who are stressed about it and might be fucked over. Hopefully Congress will get off its ass and do its job spon, and this particular problem can be left behind.
>>
>keep it CGL related, senpai
>>
i'm not an age player but i don't understand why everyone hates them so much. it's weird and gross but they aren't hurting anyone?

>>9631349
>>9631383
>>9631417
>>9631431
>>9631437
>>9631441
>>9631443
>>9631444
pls take it back to /pol/
>>
>>9631452
They're knowingly shoving their fetish in everyone's faces, that's the problem. Tagging their shit as "lolita fashion" brings their personal sex life out to the unconsenting public, some of whom are minors. They refuse to keep it to the bedroom and deserve every bit of shit that they get (which imo is nowhere near enough).
>>
>>9631456
ah ok that makes sense. thanks for explaining
>>
>>9631452
it's because a basic tenet seems to be not keeping it to oneself.
it's also getting really mainstream for some reason. people aren't even trying to turn the idea of female infantilism on its head, they're playing it straight. wtf is going on in the world?


confession:
>love lolita
>don't have what's considered the ideal body type for it
>tall, broad shoulders, big feet, busty, chubby
>working hard to grow out of lingering ita phase but sometimes I wonder if my coords would be considered cute on someone else's body
>don't want to be efamous, just legitimate and positively regarded by other lolitas
>feeling a tad down but want to improve and master a style of my own

I will be in the fashion for the rest of my life and I want a good reputation and to build some nice bonds with others in the community. online is the only connection I have for right now because I'm a lonelita. the Harajuku bridge must have been an incredible place in old school times. I wish I wasn't so isolated.
>>
>>9631472
>I will be in the fashion for the rest of my life
Can you explain this please? I'd understand if you said you *wanted* to be in it for life, but saying you *will* be in it for life has a different tone.
>>
>>9630960
I love basic coords! But if you want to see unusual coords, I think the best place to look is at Kera scans. They can have some Alice deco-tier craziness but also really inspiring stuff. Sorry for no petti but just saw this on tumblr and realised how much I haven't seen yet.

>>9631452
Same. Perhaps it's because the haters bring it up far more often than actual ageplayers do. I actually laugh when people write in their tumblr/insta description "no ageplay/ddlg/porn blogs" because that's how porn bots find them.
>>
>>9631486
Dropped pic
>>
>>9631475
I seriously like the fashion. I'm older and can safely say I'll be collecting and wearing lolita until I'm too old to dress myself without pain.
>>
>>9631490
I like your attitude. I hope the fashion continues to make you happy!
>>
I'm an ugly tranny and want to get into lolita fashion but I'm afraid I'll look terrible. Hopefully hormones will make me look less terrible and I will be able to pull it off.
>>
i wish i could give crit/coord advice to my acquaintances but even the gentlest criticism causes hissy fits. every time somebody gives them concrit on their coordinates they come to a private chat and bitch about how the crit was wrong and that the person who gave it is ugly/doesn't coord well enough either/is a bully etc.

and the thing is, every group of lolitas i've associated with has been like this. i don't give unsolicited concrit and i know that bad advice exists and all, but something as simple as "maybe a smaller petti would suit that skirt better" or "i think you could tie in the pink in the upper half of your coord" causes tension.

i'm surrounded by pissbabies.
>>
Recently learned I can fit quite a few unshirred pieces just fine, but I still like buying full back shirring/super stretchy pieces cause they make me feel smaller.
>>
>>9621946
>I'm probably going to give away or sell my ticket to this con coming up.

It was supposed to be my first con, but I'm 21 and can't relate at all with anyone let alone thousands of people dedicated to anime and comics. My bat-senses are tingling and it's telling me I should cut my losses and not go.
>>
>>9631522
Who are you quoting?
>>
>>9631472

I'm tall with a wide ribcage (but little boobs thankfully), big feet, and a lonelita as well. And hey, I am also 'older'. hope we can love being in lolita and feel happy with out less-than-optimal bodies regardless, anon
>>
>>9631558
Myself.
>>
>>9631559
>wide ribcage
>"I'm just big boned"

I see where this is going.
>>
>>9631559
I'm not tall and I've small hands and feet but I also have the big ribcage (but no boobs!) problem. I guess we should be grateful we have big ribcage and small boobs rather than the other way around so no boobloaf.

>>9631563
>anon said absolutely nothing about being """big boned"""
Nice projection. :^)
>>
>>9631563
>having a wide ribcage makes you fat
Okay
>>
>>9631563
I wish I could blame it on being fat. I just have an abnormally large ribcage and it's awkward af.
>>
>>9631585
Can I see? I'm sorry for saying you're fat.
>>
>>9631559
thanks anon! Likewise

I wish people considered just how much longer it takes to find quality coord elements when you're not average-sized. It takes a lot of effort and dedication
>>
>>9631597
diff anon but I think it's funny you lob fatty insults and then apologize when your assumptions are wrong. like, is not being thin /that/ terrible in your mind? I never encountered such intense and deeply-rooted body image things until coming on CGL.
aesthetically, I think some chub can look really nice on certain people. am I really in the minority, not subscribing to the "fit or die" thinking?
>>
>>9631661
>like, is not being thin /that/ terrible
yes, fatty
>>
>>9631436
>r u step-on-me-Connie anon
oh god no. not sure who that is but from the sounds of it i'm embarrassed to be associated with that sort. i'm just on the submissive and a bit masochistic side, i guess. i'm not really into feet they're just associated with that sort of thing i guess.

>safely and happily fulfilled
heh, i have managed to find myself in a number of bad relationships given the sort of behaviour i find myself drawn to

>>9631452
for me it's more the men that are into dd/lg stuff, that learn about lolita and start approaching women who have no interest. it's kind of predatory in theme to begin with, a man treating his sexual partner like his daughter/a child, and i assume the incest/pedo vibes freak people out. if you're into it that's fine but i don't like the association of it with lolita. similarly, sissy men who wear lolita and get sexual gratification out of it kind of sour the whole thing for men who have a general love for the fashion. it has certainly made me think twice about ever wearing it, but evidently i have some preexisting insecurities related..
>>
>>9631672
Found the skinnyfat
>>
>>9631675
>skinnyfat
i work out. sorry you're so fat that you have try and defend it by insulting others.
>>
>>9631661
>am I really in the minority, not subscribing to the "fit or die" thinking?
Yes, you literally live longer. Humans naturally have the desire to keep living and preserve their lives.

Also, funny how you say that, but you wouldn't even give a fat skinny neckbeard the time of day.
>>
>>9631685
Except neckbeards tend to have issues even bigger than themself.
>>
>>9631674
Wishing you luck on your hunt for a proper and stable Dom and not these idiots that mistake abuse for domination.

>>9631661
don't feed the trolls, it makes their egos fat
>>
>>9630191
Same I always say I don't when people ask though, cause I don't want them to think Lolita has anything to do with her
>>
>>9631865
>except fatties don't have issues larger than themselves
Lmao
If she can't take care of her body it shows she has issues.

Checkmate.
>>
I'm a mod but I hate advising new lolitas. 99% ask questions that make it sound like they've never opened a lolita magazine or looked at a brand website in their life.
>I have a 28" waist so I don't fit burando, will lolitas hate me if I wear handmade?
>Is it allowed for lolitas to not have bangs?
>I know body modifications are against the rules but what about pierced ears?
>Please let me know if this post is against the rules so I can delete it
Bitch please read the rules before posting or I will delete your post
>>
>>9632185
The complaining about 28 inch waist amazes me, that's my waist measurement and I can comfortably fit into brand with and without shirring.
>>
>>9631865
You only say that because you assumed everything about then is the same as their appearance
Same as the people you're complaining about doing it to fat girls
>>
>>9621946
I have no clue about make-up. I never use more than a basic BB cream while it's ok for daily use ( 0 skin problems) I don't feel I could ever become an e-famous japanese fashionist like this.
>>
>>9632185
I'm a normie, but stop being a douchenozzle. Some people have lives and aren't massive anti-social no-lifes.

Maybe she hasn't seen a lolita catalog in her life or whatever. Maybe she has just found out about the fashion and wants to get into it. You don't know.

It doesn't hurt to be nice and accommodate them. If you can't handle that then maybe your irritable emotionally unstable ass shouldn't be a mod.
>>
>>9632195
nayrt
Why would you join a comm without learning anything about the community that you're joining?
>>
>>9632195
I answer all of them nicely though, excuse me for coming to 4chan to bitch about it
>>
>>9632195
Another mod speaking here: It gets grating, especially after years of dealing with people who don't want to learn; if they did they'd read the countless sources of information available to them. In actuality they want to be spoonfed, some of them openly admit that they'd rather get answers from us than read themselves, and I'm sorry but I'm an adult with life outside of the internet who doesn't have time to hold the hand of every newbie who asks where she buy her first petticoat. I don't mind helping newbies, I actually quite like it, but I don't want to waste time trying to help those who won't help themselves.
>>
>>9632195
>Some people have lives and aren't massive anti-social no-lifes
>anon didn't insult the posters at all except for not reading the rules/knowing shit about lolita

how on earth does knowing about lolita = massive anti-social no life? Sounds like you're projecting.
>>
>>9632199
Because not everyone thinks the same. If she's new to it she may believe that the best way to find information and get caught up to speed is to join a community that specializes in it where everyone likes and loves the subject.

Believe it or not people used to welcome beginners into their community. They'd want to teach them everything they knew about the subject. Why? Because it was fun to have another person to talk to and hang out with in the group.

It's not complicated. Why do people become so blind?
>>
>>9632215
>Believe it or not people used to welcome beginners into their community.
And then the world wide web happened and it's so god damned easy to find guides online.
You just need one fucking website to spoon feed you- google.
>>
>>9632215
It's not like I tell them to gtfo. This is the confessions thread, if I was a douche to them I wouldn't need to confess.
>>
>>9632215
Not everyone in a community is going to want to spoonfeed newbies who might not even be seriously interested in the fashion.

Google exists. There are plenty of resources you can find just by googling "Where to buy lolita fashion." It feels like every other newbie you talk to is incompetent.

It's not complicated. Why do people become so blind?
>>
>>9632212
>expecting them to know everything about Lolita and where to look stuff up the moment they find out about it

What is wrong with you.

>>9632206
>>9632204
Just because you answer them nicely behind a mask of judgemental anger doesn't mean it's ok. You guys lack empathy.

I get it you answer lots of questions for beginners, I get it they're repetitive, but understand that they're asking because they simply don't know. They aren't trying to bother you. They aren't trying to make you mad and stressed out. If they don't ask they won't know, closed mouths don't get fed.
>>
>>9632195
>Some people have lives and aren't massive anti-social no-lifes.
>Maybe she hasn't seen a lolita catalog in her life or whatever.
The entire point is fashion. Looking at the fashion is a pretty important first step that doesn't require you to become a no-lifer.
>>
>>9632222
When a newbie asks a question they can find the answer for themselves, I direct them to where they can find said answer, and like I said they then further ask for an answer because "it's too much to read". If they can't be bothered to read plain English, how will they handle browsing websites in Japanese? Am I supposed to also do their shopping for them? Fuck it, dude, I'm glad to help but I'm not going to baby anyone.
>>
>>9632220
this isn't about everyone in the comm
this is about someone who has taken the time to be a moderator and essentially set aside time to handle shit like this
it's like going to /r/ and complaining about spoonfeeding. People volunteer to do it
>>
>>9632239
>it's like going to /r/ and complaining about spoonfeeding
Last time I went to /r/ is was 90% complaining about spoonfeeding.
>>
>>9632191
you should probably also not assume who is posting what because >>9631661 was my last post.
people are so attached to hating body fat around here and I actually don't understand where it comes from.
intense self-loathing? realizing that life can still be shitty and lonely even though you fit the mold?
I'm really curious what's behind these posts because I don't relate to that thinking at all.
>>
>>9632264
I know exactly who I was replying to
You don't like how people judge fat girls based on their fat, but you lump fat unattractive dudes into one category of "neckbeards" and say they have shitty personalities as well, based only on what you see

You are exactly what you hate, someone judging people by their covers and assuming about their life
>>
>>9632264
Nayrt, but I'll say it again. Being fat means you are unable of taking care of your own body and as you are showing here you lack mental stability. You literally got Insta triggered bay an anon that thought someone was fat.
>>
>>9632283
>never said anything about guys specifically, let alone "neckbeards"
>assuming I'm attracted to any guys at all?

I give up...I don't know why I even expanded on weight-related issues. it's a cursed topic on this board.

just want to affirm that cgl is not a hivemind and show some love to any chubby/marshmallow girls reading this. I hope you enjoy your hobbies and feel good dressing up!
>>
>>9632413
The anon I was responding to specifically said that fat guys have mental issues while they got triggered about people saying things about fat girls.
That anons a fat fucking hypocrite
>>
>>9632283
I posted the neckbeard comment not the person you are talking to. I was just saying that neckbeard doesn't just refer to a man who is just fat. Plenty of fat guys do fine for themself. A neckbeard has other issues like poor grooming/style , self esteem issues, socialy akward. People don't date "neckbeards" for reasons besides their weight.
>>
>>9632413
>backtracking
>"but I'm a lesbian that likes fat chicks"
Then just say that from the beginning. All this dancing around for that is just childish.
>>
>>9629374
But what happens when the shop goes out of business because of lack of buyers?
>>
>>9630577
While I don't search them out, I always report them too. They have no place on LM
>>
>>9631490
I mean, it is great to feel that way. But if you do change your mind a few years or si down the road, know that it's ok to do so.
>>
>>9631585
You could try a little bit of tightlacing corsets to change your shape by a few inches. That's what I'm planning to do since my ribcage didn't go back after having a baby. Same weight, but this shape man... Not the easiest to dress for.
>>
>>9629374
Everyone will just keep buying from AP though
>>
>>9632624
Nothing good ever lasts. Either something is too small and can't sustain itself or it gets to big and gets away from why it was good in the first place
>>
I get a kick out of >tfw no cgl gf kind of posts. While I'd never want to date someone who's interested in me as a frilly trophy girlfriend, these posts are strangely endearing.
>>
>>9633095
it's because cgl is one of the few boards with a decent female presence like x. It's also very easy for /fit/ and /r9k/ posters to try to blend in with the summer con threads or feels threads, since you don't need to know much about the board to participate.
It's not that they idolize cgl, it's that they're so desperate they want literally anyone, and this is the highest concentration they can find while still staying anonymous
>>
>>9633096
Makes sense. The desperation actually makes it cuter.
>>
>>9633096
That's hilarious
>>
>>9633095
>tfw met cgl gf
>tfw barely made it out alive and now in therapy
i-it's not worth it guys
>>
>>9632195
gtfo normie
>>
>>9627962
Have you considered asking your boyfriend what he thinks?
It's not every guy, but I've always been the type who actually likes when my girlfriend is the subject of others' attention, because that makes me the object of envy--and the other way around.
If you're a good couple there shouldn't be any worry about some third party, so it's basically a couple activity: Making the thirsty people of both sexes jelly and getting your ego stroked.
>>
>>9630469
Mind if I ask what it is?
I know this may not sound very convincing, but for most people seeing someone own their disability and treat it as not a huge deal is genuinely inspiring and makes that person cool--it has nothing to do with that pity-party stuff you were mentioning. It's not even close.

I guess I'm saying you really shouldn't be ashamed of it.
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>>9622003
this belongs on r/incel
>>
I'm only here because I met my previous girlfriend through here and she ghosted me after being a couple for like three years with no real problems that I can remember.
I'm lonely and nostalgic as much as interested in the cosplay hobby. I've still never been to a con because I was supposed to go to my first one with her.

I think I'm just really depressed in general, but too bitter to accept sympathy. I don't think there's anything good that can come of it, but here I am. I don't even know why I'm posting. I kind of want someone to help me out but I don't think there's any way.
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>>9627807
how the fuck did you get their info if you're too afraid to follow up
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>>9636200
Some people learn game.
Others have game thrust upon them, and must learn to bear it's burden.

As one of the latter, you would be surprised how difficult it is to accept your own attractiveness for a guy. The whole "unrealistic beauty standards" thing applies to men too.
>>
I wish people were honestly just nice to others. Like none of that two faced stuff. Nowadays people always have a second agenda and comment to make about how they really feel behind someone's back.

I miss people that are honestly just nice and upfront. Why does everything have to be so complicated now with women.
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>>9636450
I wish for the same.
I'm not especially cute and couldn't wear things well, but I'd like to be friends with the cosplayer and jfash girls.
Maybe eventually I'd find someone I'd want to ask out, but it's not like that's the goal. I wish there wasn't a presumption that every guy who wants to be friends is some kind of orbiter.
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>>9636450
How is this cgl related?
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>>9636484
nayrt but this is how most lolitas i've met on here act
cosplayers are chill tho, that just might be because i'm not up to date with cos drama though
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>>9636484
Do you really have to ask that question?
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>>9636484
Tell us how you really feel.

You don't like what he has to say, so just say it. We're adults on an anonymous board no reason to hide what you really want to say.
>>
I wanted to wear jfash daily this semester because I was shifting majors and meeting a pretty much entirely new group of people, but instead I've lost motivation to wear cute fashion entirely. We were doing practical stuff for the first couple of weeks and everyone only saw me dressed masc, and since there are a lot of guys on my new course I've noticed I get constant praise / tacit approval from them for being "one of the guys" and not looking or acting girly. I know I'm being a pussy but I like the newfound respect too much to give it up.

If I keep attending meets the chances are that I'll bump into someone from my course sooner or later, so I might as well ease into jfash now rather than acting like it's some big secret, but this is the first time I've felt accepted in ages and giving it up makes me feel weirdly uneasy.
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>>9622053
Not worth it. I ditched my entire com to go solo. My me-time grew spectacularly :)
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>>9627652
I feel this too sometimes.
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>>9627962
Just wear a slutty maid outfit for your boyfriend in the bedroom then.
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>>9636500
>My me-time grew spectacularly :)
Where do you live that has that active a comm? If I ditched my comm my me-time would grow by exactly one afternoon a month.
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>>9628076
Don't do it, it's not worth the risk. Some wankers get too attached and can end up stalking and finding info about you. It's tempting and I understand the frustration of not making enough money. Sometimes these thoughts would come across my mind, but it's not worth compromising your safety and the fear/regret of being found out.
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>>9629042
That just means you are gay, anon
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>>9629310
Women have been dating various people of different body types and attitudes for decades. Perhaps you're just noticing that women are dating these other kinds of guys now because you're insecure and unable to accept yourself, so you find the next excuse and the cycle goes on.

Aim to be the best you can: healthy, but not necessarily superman fit; confident, but not all the time it's okay to be shy here and there; open to express feelings and emotions, but not a depressing party pooper 24/7.

Generally people will favour someone who is genuine and willing to work hard to improve their own well-being over a hollow shell that puts on a persona to match the current trend.
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>>9631265
fucking kek
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>>9631331
Oh god, please give me the source for this manga.
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>>9630960
We can't all be trend-setters or innovators, anon. Generic lolita #93646 looks just as magical to people unfamiliar with the fashion as well-done lolita did when you were new, we're only tired of it because we're used to it.

If you want to experiment with more creative coords by all means go for it, but there's nothing wrong with looking generic as long as generic looks good.
>>
Became a cosplay elitist bc of all the bad cosplays I've been with and seen but come find out, I'm no better than the other cosplays that are there to have fun and actually have a good time.....
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I still like Chokelate despite her awful business practices and shitty behavior. She's jaw-droppingly beautiful.
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>>9636185
>>9636185
Unfortunately for me, my disability is of the disfiguring variety, so I do look abnormal and spooky, I'm aware of it.
I'm not ashamed, honestly, if I had to label this emotion I'd say I am pissed off. I know I'm not worse than the normal looking cosplayer girls around me, not saying that I'm the best, but definitely not the worst. And yet I always get like 10% of the recognition for my efforts, be it at cons or online, compared to what cute girls get even in very simple costumes. That is, unless I go all out and hide myself as much as possible.
I realize I sound like a jealous attention whore, but come on, I'm sure many people here (not all, but many) go to cons, post online, etc. in hopes of some positive feedback. While a hot chick in a cheap sailor fuku from AliExpress rakes in likes and Patreon donations, I get a few dozen likes and then stuff like getting posted to the cringe thread with comments like "ew what's wrong with her face" when my costume is not even bad!
I just hate it so much that, if you're a woman, everything you do comes second after being attractive, and if you're not hot, you're out of luck. I don't wish I was hotter or healthier, I wish appearances didn't matter this much.
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>>9636498
What's your new major, exactly?
I feel like you might be misreading this, to be honest. That doesn't sound like any guys I've ever met or heard of.
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>>9636517
You need to look at it the other way, too.
Those "losers" she clearly has a lot of disdain and hate for are people, too. For every creepy weirdo who can't get a date, there are 10 busy guys who have difficult majors or serious careers whose lives can't revolve around a woman even if they're prefer it--I know I certainly would prefer to be dating, but I just don't have the time, and I certainly don't have the money.
Being successful as a camgirl is like being successful as a barber. The haircuts and pornography are what bring people in, but they can get that anywhere. It's a nice personality and the feeling of affection that gets you regulars.
She wouldn't make it because she has a trash personality.
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>>9636554
I mean... I don't know your exact disability is, but there's a slice of people out there who find aesthetic joy in 'abnormal and spooky' without it being a weird fetish thing. I'm one of them, and I often look mildly ghoulish myself.
Forgive me for the unsolicited advice, but I have to say it: I think there's a lot of value in accepting who you are, no matter what that may be. It's not that you need to change dramatically or anything, but... you might consider leaning into whatever you've got.
Don't forget the motto of everyone's favorite dwarf: If you wear it as armor, no one can hurt you.

Never forget ol' Peg Leg Bates--in my opinion, the greatest tap dancer of all time.
https://youtu.be/hayM4B7hcBQ

Just, food for thought. Let me know if you want to connect and talk about this sort of thing.
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>>9636562
It's not to do with the major itself (I'd probably out myself if I specified), these are just small class sizes and it seems like we've got an unusual number of loud, boisterous jocks this year for some random reason. Apparently the years above and below me have more normal guys.
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>>9636568
Well, let me explain what I meant and give you a guy perspective.
Basically... men in general are constantly worried about the girls around them. They try not to offend them, try to be nice to them, etc. It's a form of kindness in it's own right, but it's also really stressful. There's a reason guys in general love being friends with a tomboy. A tomboy is a girl that, in the popular mind of men, really can be 'just one of the guys' and won't get offended if Jack decides he wants to give Joe shit by calling him a flappy vagina.

I'm sure you know this part by now, but for the sake of other ladies in the thread who may not be in the know, I'll run this down thoroughly: When men are together and not among women, they tend to be a lot more rough with one another. The sort of thing women often complain about, like the online trash-talking on games, is a form of male bonding. Men call their friends all sorts of names to--paradoxically--show one another how much they love them. Most male bonding is a form of tug-of-war, and trading witty barbs or crass trash talk with someone is the #1 way to show that you respect someone, because you're sure they can take it and give as good as they get. It's a way to respect a man's emotional strength without having to be sappy and say so.

In your specific case, some practical advice: It has NOTHING to do with how you dress, it's all in how you act. If wearing expensive clothing will compel you to be fussy or overly careful about your appearance in the day-to-day, you will find some friction because that's not how guys are. Guys, even the freshest ones, do not consider it a virtue to fuss over it.
If, however, you were to wear lolita and not be excessive about it, you'll be fine.
Basically... if they like you for who you've been, it's who you've been and not what you wore.
So, y'know, be sure to tell them that you're still more than capable of making them look like bitches, frills and all, and you'll still fit right in.
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>>9636575
>be sure to tell them that you're still more than capable of making them look like bitches, frills and all
mostembarrassingbehavior.gif
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>>9636577
Not someone with a lot of proper 'guy friends' huh?
This is the mistake most women make, really. They mistake "guys are friends with me" with "I'm one of the guys" which is not the same thing. Men have no problem being friends with women, but that doesn't make them, you know... buds.
Secretly, it's actually really difficult for the average guy to properly be themselves in mixed company. It's hard to relax around "the girls" because, as much as guys like being around girls, it's a lot of effort because we're expected to go out of our way for you. Women are not expected, generally, to go out of their way to fit in among men--one woman in a group of men, traditionally, would lead to the whole group changing to suit her.
Frankly, it's no surprise that a girl who goes out of her way to fit in among men is popular both as a friend and as a desirable date. Men like feeling respected and wanted, too, y'know?
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>>9636582
I'm not the anon you were replying to.
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>>9636584
I didn't think you were.
I already know the first anon has a lot of guy friends, because she said so.
My response to you was intended for you.
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>>9636582
I've been "one of the guys" for a while and it's really fun. I still have female friends but a male perspective is really different, we can chill out and play games and call each other dumb cunts. It's kind of code for "I respect you enough to know you can handle insults, and we know each other well enough to understand it's not hateful"

Girls do this too, but it's usually a little different. We love touching, social bonding, commiserating, and gossip much more than the average male.

Of course, it isn't some special club or anything and every group is different. Some girls are crass and some guys are chatty. But understanding the social mores of a given group is important to fit in and more importantly gain trust. Trust leads to a fulfilling relationship, in my opinion.

I also agree boys have a totally different attitude around girls usually, keeping up appearances. Again, it can even depend on the region. A man will refuse to let me stand on a crowded bus in the South. An average sorority girl won't be disheveled at a swap or any coed event.
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>>9636606
Now if only I could be 'one of the girls' without everyone mistaking me for gay in the same way, I'd have a much better-rounded life.
Trying to find guy friends who are interested in the things I'm interested in is basically impossible unless I run entirely in gay circles anyway, and they'd try to lynch me for my politics.

Plus, if I'm honest, there's the dream that somehow I'd find among a friend group someone who'd like to date, which... I guess is probably the main reason girls don't like guys in their friend groups, but y'know. Still.
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>>9636623
I'd watch out with that if I were you. I'm a girl in a guy friend group and I've had a crush on one of my friends for two years now. I know it'd ruin the group if I were to confess, besides I know he probably doesn't like me in that way. I hate not being able to get closure though.
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i use aliexpress makeup sometimes because i have a mild persistent deathwish
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>>9636627
Oh believe me, I know the risks, but I'm a bit charming when I need to be so that part isn't really my concern.
The problem is finding a female social group that doesn't automatically think you're weird or gay for wanting to be part of that circle of friends as a guy. Even on /cgl/ you see this floating implication that any guy who wants to be near a girl group is some kind of pervert, or a cross-dresser at least, but it's like... "Hey, maybe I just think frills are cute too, fite me"
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>>9636553
I’m extremely bummed that someone can be an evil, shitty bitch and people will still love her because she’s beautiful.

What a terrible world this is. I know I sound bitter and ugly, and that’s because its true. I wish more than anything in the world that I was extraordinarily beautiful, so that everyone would love me no matter what I did. I wish I had been born beautiful. beautiful people have easy lives.
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>>9636631
>Even on /cgl/
You know people on 4ch are more sexist than most people irl? Don't be so insecure when normies question your masculinity.
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>>9636660
I'm not really insecure, I've just been a student for a while in a very difficult major where people don't really socialize.
Over the past few years I've sort of lost most of my social life. My old circle of friends still talk online but trying to actually get together is impossible as a group of twenty-somethings.
I need to get myself some new friends, which I guess is why I'm here and looking into new hobbies at all.
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>>9636627
Oh also
You should probably try to at least test the waters there. Have you considered asking him to a social occasion with just the two of you or similar?
Failing that, you might as well just ask. You can always explain at the time that if he says "No" you won't bring it up again and can still be friends--but you've got to be willing to stick to that and let it go, genuinely, if he isn't interested.
I've been in the situation more than once where I've liked a female friend, been told "No thanks" and tried to just be friends anyway. Sometimes it works better than others, but I think the dynamic the other way around, in terms of sex, would make it much easier to remain friends after a rejection if it comes to that.
Well plus, you could always leave it as an open offer in case he ever changes his mind, which he just might.
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I wish I was e-famous for the sole purpose of selling shit quicker.
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>>9636667
I mean why do you care about people thinking you're weird or gay then. I don't mind if my friends think Í'm weird or gay. It takes time for people to get to know you better.
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>>9632521
NAYRT, but I'm a lolita-wearing lesbian who likes fattychans. Thank god there are so many.
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>>9636512
You are forgetting the incessant messaging, private meetups, planned meetups, frenemies who are part of the incessant messaging.

Now I don't have to pretend to care/like/be interested just because we share a fashion choice. I don't like my old com and I don't like the people in it.

I'd say my country, but that would easily identify me.
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>>9636627
this is high school AF, no offense

I know it's cliched but really if you're good friends you should be able to tastefully broach the topic, ask if he's interested, and if he's not, let it go

I'd asked out 3 or so people from my friend group in high school over 4 years and it worked out fine when 2 of them said no
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After mulling it over for several months or so I've finally decided to kill myself. Wrote a shitty "will," giving my weebshit and dresses to my closest irl lolita friend, which isn't that close honestly, because we wear the same style. Hopefully my parents/others will listen, if not then I hope they get donated.
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>>9636760
Please don't do that, anon. Things can get better for you, please just get some help. Talk to the Samaritans, a doctor, just don't do something you can't take back.
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>>9636760
Two problems there
First, a will isn't legally binding unless it's produced in the proper way.
Second, that's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

If your life as it is right now is genuinely so bad you can't bear to live it anymore, don't kill yourself. Pack a bag, get on a bus and go somewhere else. Go find something worth living for.
Don't just kill yourself. That's weak tea.
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>>9636760
I totally agree with >>9636922. Don't kill yourself like there's no solution to your problems. There are things that don't have a solution and people still fight for it.

If you need a fresh start, do it. If you need help, ask for it. Nobody said life is easy, it isn't.
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>>9636922
>temporary problem
NAYRT, but this isn't always true. Some problems really are permanent.

I know from experience.
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Sometimes I buy other people's dream dresses and items even though they aren't my own. I don't buy it unless I already like the design, but the thought of other people wanting the dress makes me want it more. I don't feel bad because I fully intend to wear the pieces and I'm not scalping them.
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>>9636973
My dad's gf killed herself at 50 after 30 years of mental health struggles and physical ill health, and I can see how she got to a point where it felt like the only option.

A kid I grew up with killed himself at 27, after a shitty couple of years and shocking lack of support from the mental health services. That's a tragedy.

I think that given the average age on this board is young, it's probably too early to say that problems (even if permanent) are life defining to the extent that it's not worth living.

I say this as someone with severe anxiety who has had more shitty years than good ones. I refuse to give up hope and I hope anon can find some reason to keep going too.
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>>9636979
Sounds like someone has a bit of a sadistic streak.
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There is a girl I am a mutual with on a couple of different social media platforms and we have a very similar style. I absolutely love every outfit she puts together and her wardrobe is outstanding and expansive. But I feel really bad because I'm worried she thinks I'm copying her. It seems every time I add a dress to my wishlist, I find a post of her wearing said dress from years ago, and I feel like I take influence her a lot unintentionally. She doesn't follow that many people, so I'm sure she could be entirely aware of my antics. I'm sure it's just me being paranoid, but I really respect her and don't want her to think I'm trying to emulate her style.
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>>9637005
I understand why you'd be worried but unless you wear your dresses exactly or somewhat like she does, you're not copying her style. Style goes beyond wearing a certain dress, after all, it's the personal touch you add when you choose the complimentary pieces to complete your coord.
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>>9636979
I feel you anon. I'm easily influenced by what other people think, so when someone starts talking about a dress I end up getting it...
My other problem is seeing people wear a dress makes me want it a lot more, since I find stock images to be very unappealing.
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>>9637005
Have you considered doing the opposite of the dumb thing you're doing now, and just shooting her a message saying you have similar styles, you love what she does, and you would love to trade tips or get together sometime?

Honestly, it's like everyone on this website forgets that we're adults for some stupid reason.
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>>9637005
It does not sound as a bad thing. I you own the same dresses, maybe you could arrange twinning somaday? (assuming you are in the same comm)
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>>9637038
*If you own
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>>9637000
So you expect people to wait out 20,30, more shitty years before ending it instead of earlier.

I used to think similar to how you are, but I eventually realized that it's not that simple. You're thinking "Give it time, what if I'm right?", but what if you're wrong. I was wrong long ago. I won't make that same mistake again.

The question is weather you'll make that mistake or fix the problem before it becomes a problem.
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>>9636498
now's the time to up your self-confidence anon.
you should strive to get to a point where your aura alone demands respect...you should be able to step up into the place dressed as a quincenera cake and not lose an ounce of admiration in their collective eyes.

if you can't be yourself do you even deserve respect?
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>>9636760
do you want to live differently? what have you done to change your situation?
have you tried pretending you're better and that you love yourself by filling your world with positive things, being overly social and reaching out to your friends? under the guise of faking it until you make it you may find healing that sticks.
throw all your worries and heartaches at your feet and step over them into a brand new outlook. if you can consider taking the step off the metaphorical cliff you can take a step into a bright new world where you take control of every aspect within your power, and learn to deal with the aspects you cannot control.
>t. childhood abuse survivor, struggled with depression and self-harm my whole life, currently enjoying a bright new day. lonely but death is the farthest thing from my mind.
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>>9637074
>if you can consider taking the step off the metaphorical cliff you can take a step into a bright new world
meaning both require the same amount of energy, just opposite kinds.
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>>9637027
These are women you're talking about. They can't be reasoned with.
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>>9637075
Yeah, one is effort in hopes that you will succeed at what again? Live longer I guess?

The other is minimal effort with a guaranteed chance of success.
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>>9637076
The fact that you're so willing to assume all women are the same and entirely beyond reason makes me think you're probably kind of an idiot, though.
See yourself out.
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>>9637118
Thanks for proving my point
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>>9636764
>>9636928
Thanks for your concern.
>>9636922
That's why I wrote "will," but thanks because I wasn't really sure about the details. I'm considering doing that eventually but I'm currently nowhere near independent enough to do that yet. I hope I can find something. Thanks for your advice. I think leaving everyone behind in a different way would be good.
>>9637074
I also self harm and am an abuse survivor, though I've never been diagnosed with any mental issues, and those are currently the least of my problems. I've faked being social and friendly the past three years. It gets really tiring. Glad it worked for you though.

I'm not sure what I'll do, but I haven't killed myself yet, so that's something at the very least.
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>>9636575
I'll try, but it's early enough in the year that I'm not sure anyone's forming friendships out of real liking people for who they are instead of just social necessity, so I think it'd be easy for me to get frozen out even over something trivial. I figure if they lose respect for me over that it's their problem not mine, but it's a bit depressing since I have to work with these people on group projects for the next year.

>>9637058
Hopefully, but it's a fine line to tread without coming across as arrogant or socially maladapted and I don't think it's something most people manage to pull off easily. I went in in goth today and a skirt the other day without anyone reacting at all, so I think non-lolita jfash will definitely be fine.
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>>9637127
But I'm a guy.
I'm just saying that you're being a bit of a douche for no reason, bro.
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>>9637130
You're still thinking in a girl fashion, though.
Guys do not "freeze out" anyone. That's girl-bullying.
If a guy thinks you're being weird, he'll just say "Bitch you weird"
And honestly, clothes aren't reason enough for most guys. I've dressed pretty strangely among guys for my whole life and literally nobody gives a single shit as long as you're cool.

It's probably fine.
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>>9636567
Again, thank you for even giving a damn about my complaint, but I feel like I'm failing to get my point across - it's not a matter of my accepting myself. It's taken me a while, but I got there and now appreciate myself very much.
It's just.. let's say I wish I was more in the mainstream and not a "niche product for those who are into it", if that makes sense lol. I have to work two-three-ten times as hard to be considered equal to normal looking cosplayers.
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>>9637142
but you're not straight. You're a fag. You aren't a man
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>>9637158
I wouldn't worry about that, my friend.
If there's one thing people love, it's some new. People like unusual and they love underdogs, so you can definitely use that sort of condition to your advantage, if you're willing to and a bit creative.
I wish you the best of luck.
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>>9637179
I'm entirely heterosexual and I will violate you to prove it.
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>>9636199
creep
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>>9637604
If being nostalgic for someone you used to know and loved dearly makes me a creep, I will wear that label.

If you've never had someone you've seriously struggled to get over, you've never been in love.
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>>9637144
>Guys do not "freeze out" anyone. That's girl-bullying.
>If a guy thinks you're being weird, he'll just say "Bitch you weird"
ntayrt but that's completely untrue, guys can be bitchy and passive-aggressive and aren't always straightforward, and I've seen guys get excluded from groups that way. Plus, even if they are upfront about why, the outcome is the same if they stop wanting to hang out with you.

Heck, I've just been working in the field with a bunch of guys in their 20s who acted like best buds as a group, but as soon several of them were alone they'd start bitching about how they thought the others were stupid or annoying but they felt like they couldn't say anything because "there are only a few guys here so I don't want to cause trouble in the group". The seven straight guys on the trip had far more drama underneath than over a dozen girls. If anything, guys often have a pack mentality that makes them more fearful of causing friction in a group - I partly agree with >>9636575's explanation of trash-talking as male bonding and a sign of respect, but a lot of guys are just so fearful of being alone that they'll write off any amount of abuse from someone more "alpha" as "banter" because they're scared of being excluded if they confront it.
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>>9637901
I don't know what kind of dudes you know, but I've been a guy for 27 years and I haven't ever seen shit like that, senpai.
In my experience, guys will bond over anything and find any reason to be buds.

I feel like you're mistaking "We don't want to cause friction because even though we all know Jim wants to fuck bugs bunny, he's still our bro, and only we get to pick on him." as a form of bullying. It isn't.

As far as I've ever seen, men express kindness through negativity. If a man doesn't like you, you probably won't notice because he won't even spend the time to let you know--he'll just cut you out of his life.
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>>9637922
*shrug* Obviously we have different experiences then, but I've seen plenty of shit like that. I also lived with two guys who went to all-boys schools and have a ludicrous number of anecdotes about Mean Girls-style competitive, bitchy behaviour, but of course that's a high school fishbowl environment that's different to how mature guys act. For the trip I was just on, three different guys told me in private that if they didn't know they had to work with these guys for the next year, they wouldn't even bother speaking to them - they all acted polite and played along with the banter in the group, but were literally calling the other guys immature retards behind their back. I wasn't prompting this either, one guy guy in particular brought up how he thought another guy acted like a stupid high school kid on three different occasions when we were drinking alone, but never said shit to him to his face because he "didn't want to cause trouble" despite outwardly being the most confident, loud-mouthed guy in the group. A lot of situations I've usually seen guys resolve with open confrontation weren't and it was generally a weirdly bitchy environment considering they were nearly all sporty dudes and made a big show of being "lads" together.

>If a man doesn't like you, you probably won't notice because he won't even spend the time to let you know--he'll just cut you out of his life.
That's what I mean by people getting frozen out.
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>>9637958
There's a difference between group-mentality active shunning and "Joe is a dick and I don't want to hang out with him."
If you get frozen out of an entire group of guys, you're probably a tremendous pain in the ass. I'm still friends with people who have caused me grievous injury in the past because they're still cool guys.
Guys don't make collective efforts to "freeze out" people because, in general, men do not form like-minded collectives the way women do. If you're finding no point of entry into a group it's almost certainly because you fucked up.

Now, it's entirely possible that some turbo-beta types might do that bitchy, dramatic kind of nonsense but honestly why would you want to hang out with low-quality people? As a general rule, men are very socially tolerant as long as you're making an effort. If someone can't meet the standards of 'proper' men enough to have a social life among them, they're probably kinda trash.




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