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Previous thread: >>9969858
>any interesting meets coming up?
>are you doing anything for Halloween?
>stories and / or drama from your comm?
>thoughts on the state of comms in general?
Feel free to discuss or just vent.
>>
>stories and / or drama from your comm?
Lonelita here, requesting the juicy gossip.
>>
>>9983437
There's a girl in my comm that posts here and she likes to vague talk about this place at meets and it is the most annoying thing.

It would be different if she just flat out talked about cgl but instead she likes to allude to coming here and makes vague comments and references to this place.

If you're gonna talk about coming here stop being a chicken shit and say it outright.

You sound fucking lame talking about cgl like it's your secret club.

And I know she posts here cause she posts in the self post thread.
>>
I have lately picked up organizing meets for my comm but damn it's such an ungrateful task. We have small comm so organizing a meet requires booking a cafe and picking a place to meet up at a spesific time and the first is most of the time optional because the meets are usually so small. However, most people are complaining how it's such a bother to organize them but then don't show up to mine or cancel in the last minute. I wouldn't mind but if I have booked a cafe it feels kinda bad to see multiple people cancel in the last minute like they didn't care at all if I have to go and sit there alone. They say it's so nice I'm doing it but at this point I'm out of organizing anything more complicated than checking if there is cafe near by with room. Not to mention one person who apparently loves to shit on every idea I have. Idk I just want to make my comm active and nice again and needed to went in the progress. But I guess I could use some advice on
>how to make meets more appealing without organizing anything complicated?
>>
>>9983675
Lolitas (and people in general) are just flaky. This has been my experience too both in and out of lolita. Idk if there is a solution or what it would even be. A friend and I tried to organize (well, I had the idea and she organized because she's awesome like that) a small meet for ILD and it ended up being just the two of us. But we ended up having a good time anyways so I'm not even mad desu. Our comm is small and I know sometimes shit just happens, I've flaked out on a meet once or twice myself.
>>
>>9983703
>it ended up being just the two of us. But we ended up having a good time anyways so I'm not even mad desu.
I wish someone was always certainly coming but I'm positive I'm going to end up being alone sooner or later. I'm totally understanding of illnesses, work, exhaustion etc but it's always multiple people canceling one right after another in the last possible minute. I would appreciate if people (especially in a small comm like mine) would take a minute to think about the organizer. I would be happy if people would say if they are still unsure about their attendance because it's miles better to know beforehand I have five people possibly not coming than five people canceling after I have booked a cafe. While I enjoy organizing meets I would rather not stress of people flaking and hold a little teaparty for me, myself and I at home than go to a cafe alone because no one showed up. Idk if this doesn't work out the community is going to have one meet in a half of a year again which feels a bit sad too? If it happens that and all the stupid drama we have had lately will probably make me heavily consider just meeting up with myself.
>>
>>9983675
Find a cafe with a preset offering like high tea and make people put down a deposit for the booking. Maybe people don't feel like getting "dressed up"just for a regular cafe outing.
>>
>>9984329
your profile picture is showing
>>
>>9984329
You should fix your image before someone reports it.
Sounds like excuses to me. No one has forgotten about the comm debacle.
>>
>>9983675
Just like >>9984341 said. Some type of prepaid event, even if it's a museum and you get the group rate, and ask for money in advance. You will still get people flaking (every high party I've hosted at least one person has not made it) but not at the high rate of other events. Lolitas are just so flaky and late to everything!
>>
>>9983464
Is she new? I was uncomfortable sharing my experiences on /cgl/ with my comm at first, but I've eased into it here lately. Maybe it's the part of the world I live in--gentility and politeness rule here, and in large company, openly speaking about /cgl/ is frowned upon. But discussing it with a few gullfriends in a smaller group is okay. You have to feel out your comm a little.
>>
>>9984363
Of course its C
>>
>>9984380
Regardless of who it is, it’s still shitty practice to hold onto items that were paid for. I hope anon gets their dresses.
>>
So, last january a comm member said she wants more meet ups and events where we live (we have meet ups every two months but bigger events take place in bigger cities ofc) and then left our comm group on fb and wa and unfriended our comm leader. She said nothing to anyone, she just left after complaining about having no meet ups here. Now, 9 months later, she posted in another group asking if there are any meet ups in our town. We are all confused why she is asking from other groups about meet ups in our town when she knows our comm leader and our comm. She could txt or dm any of us and she would know the date of next meet up. Or rejoin the fb group. As far as I know she had no beef or drama with anyone...
>>
>>9984538
Maybe she thought you were elitists for not catering to her, or something along those lines. Sounds like bizarre logic, I know, but after having seen some shit that people spout, it's entirely possible.
>>
>>9984538
Some people don't want to travel even the smallest journey, they want everything to be catered to them. It's bizarre and entitled, and they'd never dream of hosting their own meetup, they only want to complain when you host it at a location that's not on their doorstep.
>>
>>9984329

Bahleeted. Guess Taobao peddler L has time to read cgl but not to ship out items.
>>
>>9983849
To avoid flakes, I've hosted a few tea meets ranging in price from $15-35 per person. I paid the deposit and people would purchase tickets in advance. Attendees could give tickets to someone else but weren't refundable unless if it's an emergency situation. This seems to work out and no one has dropped out last minute.

I've also hosted small, casual meets at cafes with large amounts of seating. Bubble tea and breakfast places are a dream. I try to pick a location with a small park or arcade or shopping area to walk around afterwards. These meets tend to have as much turnout as the tea parties, and they're cheap to attend since you pay only for your drink or food that you want
>>
A girl in my comm turned into this annoying alt-right edgelord that keeps trying to bait people into arguments so she can prove our comm is full of SJWs. Our comm is actually very level-headed and we haven't had a SJW in years. So far no one is taking the bait but she has been banned from some online groups for racism and we know she posts here complaining about our comm being LIBRULS. I wish she knew how dumb we think she is.
>>
>>9985025
Is this Portland? I always see an anon complaining about how the PNW comms are full of SJW and that they are so awful that she couldn't stand to be part of it~~ any time someone asks about Portland or Seattle or whatever.
>>
>>9985035
I'm pretty sure that is multiple anons, because it's true . I'm not aware of anyone alt rightish openly in the Portland comm though.
>>
>>9985035
But it’s true lol
>>
Tmw someone in my comm complained about not being invited to meets, but when people invite them to meets clicks "can't go" every single time.
>>
>>9985035
sadly it is true. pdx is such a shithole when it comes to liberal sjw stuff, and I'm not even alt-right or even close.
>>
Wouldn't be surprised if they were expecting to be personally asked to come to the event, lest they show up and have no one to cling to.
>>
>>9985025
There are a few people like this in my comm. We do have a handful of SJWs but they’re pretty quiet and keep their opinions to themselves unless asked directly, and even the nonbinary/genderspechul ones don’t really seem to care if people “misgender” them. I think they’re pretty dumb too but they’re really easy to ignore if you don’t like them. The anti-SJWs who bring up political issues in the middle of a nice casual conversation just to complain about how horrible SJWs are are much more annoying. I’ve also noticed one of them trying to bait people on FB with blatantly untrue statements and another one sometimes complains about our comm on Rufflechat and /cgl/, but takes arguments out of context or greatly exaggerates how unreasonable the other person was. Like somehow a conversation along the lines of
>”That band does use a lot of nazi imagery, even if it’s supposed to be ironic I can imagine why people would be bothered by that or take it the wrong way”
turns into
>The SJWs in my comm literally called me a neonazi just because I listen to metal!!
I was there, I heard that conversation, that’s not what the other person said at all and they’re being a big oversensitive baby playing victim, which incidentally is what they’re always accusing “SJWs” of doing. Looks like they have more in common than they thought!
>>
Does anyone have any landwhales in their community that constantly buys and makes sellers hold dresses they clearly won’t fit into?
There’s one in my community, she snags any and all cheap brand put up for sale. I cannot emphasise how plus size she is. She’ll buy any cheap brand in any style even though she clearly won’t fit into it.
>>
>>9984370
>Is she new?
haha NOPE. She's been in the comm longer than I have.

The worst part is that people are usually dead pan when she mentions this stuff and no one ever laughs or responds when she does this. They talk to her about all kinds of other stuff but it's pretty obvious that NO ONE else is into her dumb inside jokes she's having with herself.
>>
>>9983849
They are all assuming that they will be the only flake and their presence will not be missed. They're not thinking about how you feel, unfortunately. That's just the way humans are.
>>
>>9987240
No, but I’ve seen thin girls buy whatever dress they see for 50 dollars second hand and have one blouse to coord it with. They’ll literally buy it with irreparable damage for cheap and then come into mentor groups and be like how do I coord this pls spoonfeed me
>>
>>9984538
>didn't say anything to anyone just left
how do you know something insane didn't happen in her life?

If something crazy happened to me like, my boyfriend goes missing or I start getting death threats from some mental case - I would totally just ditch everything I know and go offline for however long I need to be safe.

Do you know this chicks personal life? Don't assume it's because of the comm.
>>
>>9987432
Nayrt, but they did say she’s still active in other local communities.
>>
There was a Kimura U event in LA this weekend? Deets? I didn’t even know about it, damn. No ones really posting about it either, I thought LA meets were a big thing.
>>
>>9988902
It was 70 dollars for a "menhera lolita" tea party. Who wants to go to that?
>>
>>99889
Anyone that's been in the comm long enough hate the girls who run it.
I think a lot of people passed on this hard.
>>
>>9991316
(This is a reply to the Kimura U thing)
>>
People who make their ddlg fetish public on their Facebook shouldn’t be allowed into lolita comms. Idgaf if they feel “kink shamed”
>>
>>9991466
Agreed. I've had the pleasure of blocking several of them from my comm but I wish they'd fuck off completely.
>>
>>9983434
I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way, but if I saw this picture being taken, I would be like a tornado ripping around those stairs, beating the shit out of every one of those people.
>>
>>9991516
What the fuck lmao is there a right way to take that?
>>
>>9991518
I guess I mean I don't have any ill will towards any of you. I just have a primordial thirst to destroy every person in that picture.
>>
>>9991516
>>9991523
no offense, but are you mentally handicapped?
>>
>>9991540
I'm not saying I am and I'm not saying I'm not, but I want to know why you're asking? I'll tell you whether I am mentally handicapped if you tell the truth about why you're asking.
>>
Please don't acknowledge the crossboarder troll, gulls
>>
>>9991572
I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but honestly, how dare you?
>>
>>9991574
That's a pretty common response actually.

Are you sure this is the board you usually post on?
>>
>>9991576
Pretty sure. You're the people who play dress-up, right?
>>
>>9991578
>You're the people who play dress-up, right?
Yeah, why would you be here if you weren't someone who does that? Lolita and cosplay are both groups of people who dress up for fun...
>>
>>9991604
I didn't mean it to be derogatory. I play dress-up and this is where I belong.
>>
>>9991605
why not just say that then? Why dance around it like you did?

Are just looking to have a chat or what.
>>
>>9991606
I was just making sure this was the right board, the dress-up board. Looks like it is. Yes I would like to chat. How are you?
>>
>>9988902
pictures looked terrible, why wasnt it an exclusive lolita event?
>>
>>9991609
Kimura is really into menhera stuff.
>>
>>9991543
Because they're a well dressed and cute crowd, you edgelord piece of shit. Even the worse coords are still better than most of what I've seen at meets in my comm
>>
>>9991632
Then yes, I am mentally handicapped. But it could also be an inferiority complex, since I'm not even 5 feet tall and weigh less than 100 lbs despite the fact that I'm almost 30. I'll never beat anyone up and maybe that's why I want to.
>>
Is there a Colorado comm? If so, how is it? Moving there soon.
>>
>>9991637
Yes and it's a really good one!! I'm jealous lol, I was there for a month and it was the best comm experience I ever had. http://www.comm.com/Colorado
>>
>>9991639
I don't know what that link is, but it's definitely not for the Colorado Lolita comm lmao.

>>9991637
There is a CO comm! I may be biased but I think it's pretty good. Things were on the slow side for a while but seem to be picking up again.

The page is "Colorado Gothic & Lolita Society Members" on fb. That's where all the meetups are organized and where all the discussion is.
>>
>>9991609
>>9991609
Also because its pretty hard to support a brand off of lolita sales alone nowadays
>>
>>9991632
I wonder if you think I'm not crying after being spoken to in this manner.
>>
>>9991466
Are we in the same comm? I was just getting salty over that. What were the admins thinking letting them in?
>>
Our meetup this weekend got cancelled thanks to Florence.
>>
>>9991316
Who ran it? I heard about the event a month ago but noped when I saw the price of the tickets
>>
>>9991771
Himitsu Eventos are the same people that ran Fairytale Boutique into the ground. The owner, her fake friend and her crazy mother.
>>
>>9991849
>>9988902
I think Himitsu Events exists solely for the purpose getting attendees to pay to bring celebrities to LA so the hosts can hang out with them for a week and then throw a halfassed tea party. Regardless, I'm surprised by how disinterested people are in meeting Kimura U. I guess she's just not that important of a model?
>>
>>9991905
Kimura U has been to LA before and yeah she isnt as popular with lolitas anymore
>>
>>9991905
I don't to know if that's solely the purpose but they're so incompetent that I'm sure they start with good enough intentions and just ruin everything at crunch time.
I love KimuraU but the theme of this was such a mess I decided to skip.
It looks like only 25 ish people went too
>>
>>9991695
NC/SC?

Yea I am hoping they just haven’t checked because holy shit. I am so sick of these fetishists thinking this fashion is some kind of safe haven for them
>>
>>9987240
If you're from the UK I'm pretty sure the entire community knows who you're on about...
>>
>>9992464
Nayrt but does her name start with S?
>>
>>9992484
Yes
>>
>>9992513
Kek, I figured. What makes it worse is that she's been in the fashion for a good few years at least, so there's really no excuse for not knowing better at this point. I often also see her giving shit advice to newbies, I hope they realise they shouldn't be listening to her.
>>
>>9992484
>>9992528

Most people know by now that she's an entitled cow who will always be an ita. She hoards brand because she has more money than sense.
>>
I'm moving to London for uni, what's the comm called?
>>
>>9992577
If she has so much money, why doesn't she buy some nice brand though? From what I've seen, all her dresses are lame pieces that no one else wanted, so that's why they're so cheap.

>>9992579
EGL London on Facebook.
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>>9992581
Thanks anon
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>>9991703

What happened?
>>
>>9992814
A hurricane
>>
>>9992820

Damn, my bad, not American so didn't know there was a hurricane Florence.

Hope everyone stays safe.
>>
Does anyone else not go to meet ups because your comm is ugly? Not normal ugly but like really ugly. We have so many terribly dressed people for sure, but even the okay dressed lolitas are so hideous that they look a mess.
>>
>>9993074
I mean I still go to meets, but there are definitely some girls that, despite having passable or even good coords, still just don't look good because of their faces. I'm not especially cute in the face either, but I admit that sometimes they do make me thank my lucky stars that at least I don't have to look like that.
>>
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>>9992581

She only buys cheap things because she's tacky and wants to be able to brag about having an all brand wardrobe.

>It doesn't count if none of it actually fits you,
>>
>>9993074
You're probably ugly too. At the very least, delusional and narcissistic.
>>
>>9993074
I'm embarrassed to attend my con's meets because there's only like 5 people and out of those 5, one is a fucking amazon tall 40 year old woman who looks like a sissy and two fat itas who only wear bodyline. Somehow the other two girls have good style but I don't want to be seen with the others, specially with the sissy.
>>
>>9993394
>someday I'll make it look great!

I laughed so hard at this.
>>
>>9993394
That AP x Tangled OP is small on petite girls, what a waste
>>
>>9991639
>>9991650
Oh awesome! Thanks for info. I’ll join the fb group, got to Colorado Springs two nights ago - gorgeous so far but dealing with some altitude sickness.
>>
>live in Edwardsville
>St. Louis Lolita comm disbanded two years ago
>meetings and attendance were sparse anyway

I'm lonely
That's what I'm doing for Halloween
Being lonely
>>
My comms annual Halloween tea is supposed to be October 13th, and they have no info about ticket sales yet or the venue. This is a meet set up by 2 mods. There was a summer meet up that was cancelled due to another situation, again by a mod. Why are the mods allowed to continue to moderate , when they barely attend any meets anymore, let alone host a meet? Since they’re MIA a lot they should step down.
>>
Anyone here part of a secret comm? A private comm? A secondary comm?
Has it changed your opinion on lolita community dynamics? Do you think smaller or private communities are better? Do you appreciate lolita more in a secret comm?
Do you wish they didn't exist? Are there things that make them work/not work?

I've been in a small private secondary group for a long time and I like it way better because I can avoid newbies and normies to just enjoy my frills with my friends.
>>
>>9994437
I am a part of a private secondary comm and I greatly prefer it. It is less of a big ordeal and more of hanging out with people I don't hate
>>
>>9994437
I have been part of an unofficial comm for a bit. A group of people hosting private meets, usually the same-ish ppl are present and sometimes new ones that become regulars. Because it's not an official comm but just a series of random private meets it would kind of sting when I would see those same ppl at different private meets but such is the nature of those, and I figured they were probably hosted by their friend that doesn't know me so that's why I wasn't invited. Our region's comm was dead so it's basically the only way to be a lolita here. There are a ton of unoffical mini comms.

Then I moved to a place with a central active comm and it was so much better. Plenty of meets, you get to meet new people, see old people, become friends. And we would also have small friend hanf outs where we would wear jfash but it wasn't a meet, since it would be just catching up, or someone's personal celebration or something. I greatly prefer having a comm, over having to somehow try to find out about the existence of a secret comm and then try and try to get in it. It just created too many crappy feelings and thoughts about the "elitists" that won't let you in uwu.
>>
>>9994437

Does anyone know if there are or are in any actual private comms in NYC? I know things get pretty cliquey. The main comm is so large that people split off into smaller groups of friends. It does take away the anxiety of having to introduce yourself over and over to the newbies though.
>>
>>9994695
Yes but they don't like to admit it, and will deny it like crazy. "It's just 20 close friends!"
>>
>>9994437
I sometimes wish we could have a subgroup only for well dressed adults so that I could avoid the embarrassing itas, screaming weebs and “Can I wear other Jfashions? Bodyline is great for menhera!” enby snowflakes, but the people I have in mind for this are super chill and don’t seem to be half as bothered by itas as I am. It’s actually the overweight fujoshi who are the self-professed “salty elitists with high standards” in my comm, and yeah... nah.

I wouldn’t mind a smaller secondary FB (or other platform) group for our local comm, though. Our page is full of lolita-at-hearts who’ve never actually worn the fashion but have a lot to say about it anyway, and haven’t found RC yet. Or maybe RC is too mean and elitist. Either way, I’m sick of every other comment being some excuse why they can’t wear the fashion they claim to love so much.
Actually screw making a secondary comm, they ought to be the ones fucking off to a new page. They should make a support group for people who are too poor or fat for lolita or whose parents won’t let them wear it, leave the rest of us alone instead of constantly guilt-tripping us.
>>
Does anything know if there's still an Oxford (UK) comm? I moved here a couple of months and wouldn't mind checking it out if it still exists/doesn't have much drama, though last I heard of it was like 5 years ago.
>>
>>9994748
Anyone* god damn I'm an illiterate
>>
>>9994437
Not really private comms, but more like group chats and such. Also some friends make meets for just a select group of people. And even if you are like not their friend, but still friends with one of their friends and your coords are good and you can behave properly, you will be invited. I personally like it.
There are some cringy people in our comm who think they have a supirior knowledge of the fashion because of being born as a Lolita. Also some newbies love complaining to hosts and people don’t want to deal with them.





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