What's something that instantly ruins a pizza?
>>20998303Two dudes buttufcking in the bathroom making gay noises while you try to eat.Gross
>>20998303when you drop it on a sandy beach.
Something like you being anywhere near it.
>>20998303Cum, unless you're OP of course.
>>20998303Taking a picture of it
>>20998303Jarred garlic, known in stupid circles as "jarlic". I ordered pizza with garlic and some other toppings once without knowing they used that shit instead of fresh garlic. Fucking vile
>>20998338That sounds absolutely disgusting. Never had that happen to me and i usually order pizzas with garlic if they have one
>>20998341I guess I should have expected it, it was a Papa Murphy's (this was the KC northland about 20 years ago, not a lot of pizza options)
>>20998338I used it one time without knowing they add acidic preservatives and it ruined the whole pizza. Pretty much the only time I ever thought garlic ruined something. Canned mushrooms also suck because they make the pizza wet.
>>20998303Not having mayo to dip into.
>>20998303fishpineapplebell peppersolivesyour moms queefseagull shit
>>20998350I make your mom wet
>>20998358is it winter break already, kiddies?
>>20998359I thawed your mom's icy winter.
>>20998350Did you think they just put smashed garlic into a jar and it preserves itself? Also you're supposed to drain mushrooms and dry them either by letting them sit in a strainer for a while or leaving them on a paper towel. gotta learn your ingredients, fren.
>>20998350Yeah canned anything usually never works well on pizza>>20998359Thanksgiving break.
>>20998319You're a homophobic piece of shit
>>20998426What? Do you order a couple of male prostitutes to have sex in your bathroom when you buy a pizza?
>>20998303Having to share it with other people.
>>20998370>usuallyolives work fine
>>20998431this is why you're fat
>>20998350>Canned mushrooms also suck because they make the pizza wet.Canned are what you want to use. Fresh ones shrivel up and look like leprous scabs, and also taste like nothing
>>20998434I don't like olives on pizza personally so i wouldn't know
>>20998338Meh. Worse than proper garlic but doesn't ruin the pizza
>>20998303Americans, oh and Swedes.
>>20998303hair
>>20998303cheese
>>20998445It absolutely does ruin it. Take your “meh” and shove it up your ass
>>20998303pineapple
poopalso pineapple
>>20998350the point of using canned mushrooms is that they make the pizza less wet lol. you have to squeeze them
>>20998303evil pizza
>>20998303Chicago
>>20998818seething Jew Yorker detected. sorry our pizzas aren't see-through
>>20998303#1A: pizza cooked in wrong type of oven #1B: bad dough#2: tomato sauce with too much sugar in it#3: shit cheese#4: grease
>>20998826I don't know why people shit on chicago pizza so much here. It's different but it's good every now and then
Ham or sausage Shit tier meats that ruin a pizza
>>20998303"Vegan"
>>20998303being made by three brothers
>>20998303Semen will typically do the trick
>>20998303It's not immediate but I sometimes want a pizza and remember at some point whole eating it that I don't actually like pizza.
>>20998319why are you eating in the bathroom?
>>20999022I like chicago pizza but it's so heavy that I can only eat two or three slices throughout a whole year before I tap out.
>>20998338Had this happen to me at a restaurant when I ordered garlic fries. It was just regular fries with a mound of cold jarred garlic on top.
>>20998303>What's something that instantly ruins a pizza?When you go to take a bite and the cheese/toppings slide off. You try to pile them back on but it's never the same. Cheese adhesion matters.
>>20998434This, pizza might be the only place where canned black olives actually beat all others. (Unless you're getting the specialty Greek pie, of course, with the gyros meat, feta cheese, tomato, onion, and kalamata olives.)
>>20998303Wisconsinites. Those assholes will put swiss cheese on it and not even tell you.
>>20999191Never had Swiss cheese on a pizza, but thinking about it, that sounds pretty good. I'd try it once.
>>20998303Nuclear holocaust
>>20999201Okay, now think about trying it NON-consensually.
>>20998303Norwegians apparently eat the most pizza in the world more than Italians or even Americans for that matter but I can just imagine the disgusting toppings like pickled herrings they’d add to their pizzas would ruin me off it for life.
>>20998426Not the anon you’re replying to but you sound like the faggot piece of shit that would hook up with his Grindr pickups and have them fuck you in the ass in some random pizzeria where families go eat. Go get AIDs elsewhere this isn’t Reddit fag.
>>20999217Smoked salmon on white pizza can be pretty great actually, though if you do a web search you'll get a lot of nasty images from people who don't get the proportions right.
>>20999217Some scandinavian oddities on pizzas actually work really well. I had a calzone with shrimp instead of ham and that was really good. Probably because it was by the coast and they actually have fresh seafood there. I wouldn't try something like that here in dallas because seafood here is trash.
obviously pineapple, but there are many things
Green peppers and onions when they're too wet, otherwise it's great.
>>20998303italians shit their pants
>>20998303Italians.
Pineapple should be dried out a bit first.Mushrooms you can finely dice and add to the sauce.Cheese should go to the edge so it adheres to the crust, then it doesn't slide off.You can add garlic powder or salt to the dough if you want more than what is in the sauce and pepperoni.
>>20998303Losing the game
>>20998319Why are you eating pizza or anything for that matter in a bathroom?
>>20998303internet task force
>>20998303shitty dough
>>20998303>always order the same type of pizza from a local pizzeria>some day or another they change their ingredients/supplier/whatever>the cheese no longer adheres to the pizza and keeps sliding off>it is also completely tasteless, bordering on processed string cheese in taste and texture>the pizza is unbelievably fucking greasy (pools of oil in craters of tasteless cheese, massive grease spot on the underside of the box)>the sliced pancetta has random bits of tooth-breaking cartilage in iti am very open-minded about toppings on pizza, its when the topping quality is shit that ruins pizzas for me.
>>20998357>fishthis. I tried anchovy pizza once. It was terrible. And the flavor infects the whole pizza, so it's not like you can even just remove the anchovies and eat the rest of the pizza plain. Doing that just results in a bad fish-flavored cheese pizza. I had to throw it out.
>>20998303americans
>>20999433>wake up>seethe about greatest country on earth#1, baby!
>>20999224You try too hard anon.
>>20998303This.
>>20998303Anchovies
>>20999010An actual answer in a troll thread?I agree with all of these, except #1A.Also, crust should be thin - at least thinner than the toppings - otherwise you are eating oven-warmed sandwich.
>>20999626>mollusk with shell :O>mullosk without shell :(Slug>snail
>>20998303Women talking.
>>20998359i had sex with ur momi had sex with ur mom and she liked itim ur fatherur grounded
>>20998303A pube
>>20998357agree with seagull shit.fish I can work with (tuna)pineapple, olives, bell peppers - I rarely have pizza without any of all of them
>>20998303artificial cheese sauce replacing the tomato sauce on a cheese pizzaI fucking hate artificial cheese flavourings
bacon. even on breakfast pizza
>>20998303no cheese. I'm personally upset that they even call it a pizza when there is no cheese.
Any sauce that isn't standard tomato sauce. Anyone who likes ranch on their pizza is vile.
>>20999123
>>21001664It's just not pizza then.
when the bottom crust is wet and soggy
a nagging cunt
>>20998426yes, and?
>>20999623i love u
>>20998426
>>20998322I would think overhearing the news of my impending doom from a tsunami would ruin it but no. It's the sand
>>21001619I also say fren but have never posted a frog (other than webms of actual frogs playing Hungry Hungry Hippos on /an/)
Chicken
>>20998303A microwave
>>209983032 pubes
real meat and/or real cheese
A woman making it.
>>21001647>but the very idea of "Breakfast Pizza" disgusts me immediately. Eggs? No thanks. I'll have leftover regular pizza or a regular egg breakfast, but do not combine the two.you will pay the price for your lack of vision
>>20998303
>>20998303soggytoo much cheeseturning pizza into a plate for a different meal
>>20998303Overly sweet sauce, ruins the entire pizza, nothing can save it at that point. No topping, no amount of cheese, nothing
>>20998303Having to pay for it.
Children/Picky eaters.
>>21001624Breakfast bacon on gut bomb chain pizza is dope.>>21001625That’s like the only time you see fresh oregano on pizza, on a Neapolitan Marinara.
>>20998303sauce being too tomato paste heavy, even worse when it's heavy on dried spices trying to mask the tomato paste taste. I hate that shit
>>20998319Kill the sodomites, Burn them.
>>21002555Fuck it bro I'd give it a bite.
>>21002501It’s like a quiche but terrible.
>>20998303cum
>>21001819ngl little caesars is not that bad.
>>21002555You bite the food it bites back!
>>20998303pineapple base
>>21002555they ain't got no stingers pussy
>>20998303greasegotta pat that shit down with a roll of paper towels>I'm looking at you, Costco pizza
>>20998426it's good to see my hard work get recognised
45 min of an autistic man degreasing it.
>>21004331it's nothing like a quiche
Fat people. I lose my appetite when I see a fat person eating pizza. Like, you should know better.
>>20998303The Dominoes Logo.Okay, maybe it isn't so bad anymore, but still.Replacing the tomato sauce with tomatoes or some bland white sauce.Frozen foods section supermarket-tier crust.Olives don't "ruin" it but meh. Anything vinegary usually sucks.
>>20998319Homophobic piece of trash.
>>20998303Wholemeal crust. Fuck you, Texas; your pizzas are shit.
>>21007014YWNBAW
>>20998303>oregano in the sauce>too much sauce>sauce is way too acidic
>>20998303pineapples, black people in my line of sight when im eating
>>20998303Unsalty pepperonies, ughhh. gahd. i wanna punch the guy who sold it to me.
did you know hte feds will start following you if you eat too much italian food, they think youre in the mafia.
>>20998303TOO MUCH CHEESEI work at a pizza place and the #1 problem by 1000 lightyears whenever anyone new starts is that they put TOO MUCH FUCKING CHEESE ON ITIT WON'T COOK THROUGHLESS CHEESEMENOS QUESO
>>21008242they would quickly discern that you're not actually in the mafia though
Trying to use anything but actual pizza crust.
>>20998303mushrooms
>>20998303Anything other than sausage, ham, bacon, or pepperoni.
>>20998303Arguably, the Japanese.
>>20999433we back the best pizza tho
>>20998303>What's something that instantly ruins a pizza?For me, that would be pineapple especially with the cheese not fully melted
>>20998426>>21007014Why are you guys being so gay?
>Flimsy crust >Oregano out of context >Nigger flavored pepperoni >Horseshit amounts of cheese oil because it’s fucking faggot quality cheese Need I go on
>>20998303"Italian" Americans
>>21009348would
>>20998303>Dry >Crunchy texture>Olives>Chep cheese>Bad tomatoe sauce>>21009766How do you know how niggers taste like you filthy raging faggot?
tomato sauce is super sweet and overpowering (Dominoes)
Pickled jalapenos. Fresh ones are only marginally less offensive. The worst fucking pepper, I hate those things so much.
Terrible terrible godawful thread. Bump.
If you put gigantic slices of bell pepper on pizza you might as well not bother with the other ingredients because bell pepper's the only thing you're going to taste
>>20999347Throw a brick through their window anon
>>21012116I just dice up a small amount of it, like a third maybe, of a medium bell pepper, and put it on alongside the diced onions
>>20998319Well, he isnt wrong.
>>20998431I agree. Something about a pizza being communal ruins it for me. It's also room temperature by the time you grab a 2nd slice because the box was opened so many times. And everyone always grabs the nicest looking pieces so your 2nd slice is trash.Homogeneous slop is for sharing. Pizza is not.
Do not misunderstand me, I like raw tomatoes, they're good on burgers, but whole pieces of tomato have no place on a pizza. After cooking they turn into bombs of boiling water
>>20998303thats a good roller rink looking slice, 7/10, decent slice of 'za
>>20998319I hate when that happens too
>>20998303onion
>>20998303Tartar sauce.
>>20998303Pineapple.
>>20998303GREEN PEPPERS
>>20998319Which gay bathrooms do you frequently eat pizzas at?
>>20998438Honestly, would.
>>20999250Sounds like the same concept behind Lox on a bagel. It could work.
>>20998348KC northland area is so based. I'm jealous. Miss Longboards.
>>21000203The type of oven the pizza is cooked in is perhaps the most important defining characteristic which can improve its eventual quality when served.You can have a "good" pizza with bad dough, sugary tomato sauce, shit cheese, and a buttload of grease -- so long as it was cooked in a wood-fired or coal-fired trad brick oven the right way, it will still be passable.More than ANY other trait for a pizza, the oven is the most important one. It is absolutely and actually fundamental.
>>20998357Pineapple on pizza is the superior pizza you pleb
>>21012990There's a reason I put A and B for point number 1. Dough and oven is fundamental. They are essential. They are the two rock-bottom things that you cannot ignore with your pizza. First the oven, then the dough. Some people say the dough first. I respect their position, and if I had no experience in the matter, I would agree. But good dough is nothing without first, the right oven. It is like painting on printing paper. You can have the best dough in the world, 24 hour cold fermented overnight with a recipe you got from your nonna who overheard it 60+ years ago from the round-back of a local legendary pizza joint owned by independents from Italia who emigrated with the blessing of Mussolini during WW2; if you cook that shit in let's say, a convection oven or God forbid, a conveyor belt oven, you're fucking up. The oven is absolutely, utterly important, you cannot make the most out of your good dough if you have a shit oven and the right oven is utterly unmissable if you set out to make pizza.Now you can use those old-style flat stone-baked ovens with the iron-wrought doors and shit, that's fine. Those ovens + coal brick + wood brick are the only good ovens. Sorry to rant about this but it's weirdly important to me
>>21012996
>>20999318YOU LOST IT FIRST FUCKER
>>20998358Zased>20998359Sneed
>>20998319Well that escalated quickly
>>20998303>"it's a NY slice"
>>20998319Well, I mean, you're not wrong.
>>21001630>end of storynah, nobody cares about your one true way bullshit. i work in a place operating half a century beloved by the community and we use both fresh and canned. one of the customers favorite things about the pizza? the thick, fresh mushrooms. fuck yourself. a lot of respected pizzerias are using ovens that run at 475 to 550f also
>>20999333>Not eating in a bathroomNGMI. Also checked.
>>20998303Being sold by the slice. Meme tier shitty restaurant.
>>21001562why do you hate pizza?
>>20999010>greaseno one puts grease on pizza, never once had a pizza in any pizza place with "grease" on it.
>>20999347>it is also completely tasteless, bordering on processed string cheese in taste and texturecongratulations, you have had a pizza with only mozzarella on it. real pizza places put a mix of cheeses on their pizza.
>>20999347>the pizza is unbelievably fucking greasy (pools of oil in craters of tasteless cheese, massive grease spot on the underside of the box)
>>20998350>Canned mushrooms also suck because they make the pizza wet.squeeze the water out first.
>>21002719>too much cheeseI know these words but this sentence does not make sense.
>>21006910don't eat in front of a mirror, dumbass.
Pepperoni.
>>20998303bell pepper, they drag the cheese every time
A colored girl being in the room>>20999211Even better!
>>21005684Is that thing even cored?
bbq sauce and low quality meat
>>20998303Not having meat on it.
>>21005684Man made horrors beyond our comprehension...
>>20998350You can get frozen cubes of minced garlic. They are good if you are making something that needs like 2 bulbs of garlic and you cant be bothered peeling and chopping that much. Make sure its well sealed tho or it makes everything in ur freezer stink
>>20998303Finishing the last bite
>>20998319was about to post this
