ITT: we pretend we're in Gothamholy shit bros the batman is real i was trying to steal fridges from a supply truck cause i hear there's good money in it but now im in the hospital with a broken femur
I really want to move but no one will buy an apartment in this city so I'm stuck here
Remember to pray to the Batman
>>146551072Imagine buying property anywhere in this fucking city. It's like the New Jerseyest part of New Jersey and I mean that with all the shade I can throw. I can't wait to move back to New York.
>>146551057Is the Iceberg Lounge a decent place to work? I've got an interview for a bartending job there.
>>146551225i hear the tips are high as fuck but you have about a 70% chance of getting stabbed or arrested. also whats up with the owner why does he like umbrellas so much? and those noises he makes? the guy's such a quack
>>146551298Wait. Guy? But it’s owned by a woman. This big, ugly bitch who ever pretends is super hot. Actually all the women in this town have a figure like a fridge. Or at least … they used to? Oh god, oh man! Oh god oh man! My doctor said my experimental new depression medication might cause multiversal slip.
When are we getting a new commissioner? The police here are ass
>>146551499uh yeah you want to sign up to be a non-corrupt cop in Gotham? when is your funeral scheduled for?
>>146551057I just took a big yellow piss near Wayne tower and the guards kicked my ass
>>146551499bring back mayor kroll
INEEDVENOM NOW!Also which is the better high fear toxin or joker gas?
guys hear me out. joker is a good thing for the city. its better to have villains like him vs superman villains that wipe out entire cities
>>146551499We get new ones sometimes but that fuck Gordon always comes back. How the hell does that work? Didn't he die or something once?
>>146551603>Didn't he die or something once?nah scarecrow did a fear toxin on the entire city and a lot of us hallucinated that. in mine he died via rape
anyone else wonder what REALLY goes on at arkham ?
>>146551718I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall of Poison Ivy's cell if you know what I mean
>>146551748i dont know what you mean. what does fly on the wall mean? and why poison ivy? some of the other inmates might prove more interesting personality/insanity wise
batman isnt real. only gay people believe in him for some reason. must be something in the water over there in gaytham
>>146551057>This idiot got attacked by Manbat, and now he thinks Batman is reallol
>>146551057Reminder, if someone offers you Scarecrow drugs just remember G.L.A.R.B.I.M.A.C.T.A.F.I.N.
>>146551072>insure the fuck out of your apartment>blow your life savings on the most expensive piece of art you can find depicting a clown, a cat, a bird, or any kind of duality>wait for a supervillain to wreck your shit in pursuit of your theme-appropriate art>cash out your insurance policy and move to Central City
>>146552042I did actually see him out one time. Me being gay has nothing to do with that though.
>>146551057While I went to the post office to leave a package, some asshole broke into my car, took a massive shit on the passenger seat, and stole the Nintendo Switch I left in the backseat. You can't have fucking anything in Gotham City.
>>146552267>thinking you're gonna get insurance in this city to cover theftI shiggidy diggidy
Hey guys, I got a new Nintendo Switch. Have any video game recommendations?
Just did groundbreaking for another abandoned factory today.Why the fuck do they never put anything into these things? Who pays for all of these empty buildings?At least the pay's good. Just weird is all I'm saying.
>>146552355Can you believe they made games about Batman saving this city? What a crock of shit. If he was real maybe I wouldn’t have lost my parents to another Joker gas attack.
>>146552334I'm gonna put on a cape and kick your ass
What do they even do again?
So last night I was taking a leak behind a dumpster as I usually do after getting shitfaced to cope with the Bat kicking my ass. You're not going to believe this, but I saw Red Hood and Batgirl, not the fat redhead one but the fat-in-other-places blonde purple one, walking out of an abandoned trap house. I didn't have my trusty piece on me so I could only watch them, and they didn't notice me. For some reason, Red Hood walked with more pep to his step while Batgirl walked with a limp, almost most bowlegged. Weird...
>>146552328 you deserve it for being a nintentoddler instead of getting the Mr Terrific Game-o-sphere
>>146552494bullock singlehandedly supports all the small businesses with his coffee and donut allowance. no idea what the other niggas do
i hate Batman at least the mob left you alone if you didn't fuck with them now it's fucking fear gas and joker toxin bombings every other goddamn week
dressing yourself as a bat at night is gay as fuck and no one can convince me otherwise. fucking woke bullshit in this city.
>>146551057I hate that I was born in this godforsaken city. What parents would bring a child into a world like this? I'm pretty sure my parents used to hench too. Fml.
I like to imagine these kinda threads just being one guy talking to himself
You guys hear that Batman has a sidekick now? Rumor has it he’s not what you’d be expecting though. He’s a kid. I’m talking no way he’s more than 14. If that weren’t enough, he’s dressed in the shortest shorts imaginable.What the FUCK did B-man mean by this?
>>146552697More like Blapman lol
>>146551551Fear Toxin fucking sucks stay away from that shit if you can. Joker Toxin just makes your face hurt, a lot.
bump
>>146551057>ITT: we pretendCringe LARP.>>146553640This too is cringe.
Hey so my girlfriend's a Poison Ivy henchwoman, means she gets the sexy bodysuit but I'm concerned at the work environment she's in honestly with the gardening those All Little Shop of Horrors, Night of the Triffids tier plants day in day out.
I found one of those ninja stars batman has and nearly cut my finger off picking it up how does he do it?
>>146553913he's not a pussy unlike you
>>146551393Is this the mandingo affect? Oswalda Cobblepot sat on my face and gave me brain damage.
>>146551057Why does /co/ keep having these pseudo-RP threads?
>>146553673anon....Ivy fucks all her henchmen...
bro did you see the Punchline livestream last night? she cut off a guy's dick while she was riding it and then kept using the dick as a dildo, the guy fucking bled out and died lmaothen Batman showed up for like a split second and the livestream disconnectedshit was fucking wild, I hope twitch unbans her soon
>>146551165Sauce? The internet doesn't work anymore so I couldn't look it up myself.
>>146551718They say the rich families kidnap kids off the street and train them up there to act like these costumed nutjobs. One of them got away once and killed the Waynes. That whole Crime Alley story is jut cover up. Why would a bunch of rich poofs like them be doing down in that part of town anyways?
Guys, don't freak out, but I think we're living in some kind of simulation.You ever notice how it feels like it's been several decades since Batman showed up, but he and everyone else is still more or less the same age?
>>146554282>I say the n word on twitch, I get banned for life>Punchline murders a dude, she gets a week
>>146551057Atleast its just a broken femur and not a broken asshole
>>146554222Would you prefer another shitty waifu thread?
I used to live in Gotham but now I live in Star CIty and all I can say is that Oliver Queen is a much better billionaire than Bruce Wayne. Oliver Queen is a giga chad who got stuck on an abandon island and survived while Bruce Wayne was adopting young boys who look like him for whatever reason.
>>146554639Fuck off, Queen. Everyone knows you lurk here, you leftist cuck.
>>146552467Those Batman games are just companies seeing how popular he is and trying to cash off of that. I dunno why anybody likes him, he's just as bad for this city as all the other freaks.
Imagine still living in Gotham and not moving to the countryside Smallville is leagues better
>>146554740You're not in Kansas anymore.
>Paying Rent in GothamDude, all I did was go to Gotham City Hall and buy an abandoned warehouse for about $800. It was fully furnished, too, with couches, a converted Bedroom office, whiteboards with weird question marks, a mini library, a lot of green suits, even two working box trucks and a Van. I practically live in a mansion with tons of space, central heating and air, and across the street from Joe's Diner.
>>146554222The reason they're shit is because people just post their own instead of accepting that it's RPing and just "Yes and"ing everyone else's posts.
>>146552531They were probably doing sippin hella lean and hittin that galaxy gas nigga
>>146551057>Go to open a savings account at Gotham National Bank>Two-Face ties everyone to a giant quarter and tries to launch us at City Hall>Go to see the new Grey Ghost movie >Mad Hatter put subliminal messaging in the trailers to brainwash everyone into painting the entire city red and white.>Go to the supermarket to buy some groceries >Poison Ivy has turned the produce section into man-eating plants I'm so fucking sick of this city. You can't go two steps without some asshole in a technicolour suit ruining your day. Anyone else trying to sell and move out of Gotham for good?
I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out that fag Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city
I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his cock tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a fag and ran away laughing.
>>146552697>Dude doesnt know about NoncemanHes fucked up but its great for tourism and merch. (((You know who))) give him a free pass to do whatever, poor kid.
>>146553913Gloves retard
I found a guy on Ebay saying he's selling Batgirl's socks. Legit?
>>146552267>does this>insurance company is ran by Falcone
You know the city in general could always use way more gargoyles, like every building should have them, but good ones made with strong concrete and steel reinforcements that don't crumble easily to repeated grapple hook attachments like the cheap ones on the 12th Street Macy's
>>146551057Guys, I swear to God my neighbour is fucking her pet cats. All hours of the night, all I hear is cats meowing and one human meowing. back at them, also moaning. I mean, she's hot, so I'm not that fussed, I think her name is Serena or some shit, eithet way she's definitely a crazy cat lady.
>>146555501That's fucked up. The other night I blew a girl in a club bathroom and when she started moaning, she had a dude's voice. Goddamn Clayface.
>>146555580Yes, once in the 2010s or smth when I was squatting at places I discovered her storage unit. No security at all. I found her clothes, her costume, her bike, even some homework. She's an amateur hanger on I think only Batman and Robin are the real deal.
Fuck MGSA fags. this guy is a literal CRIMINAL and should be in Arkham! How can half the city be so brainwashed into voting for this dictator? He's a threat to democracy you stupid Chuds!
>>146551165Jeez thar Harley is hot. Once when I was in Arkham Rehab they accidentally rehoused me in the high security wing of the hospital. I raped Harley Quinn there. >>146551225I hear it's all Blackgate parolees. They rape women they pick up in clubs on the outside and then go back to raping men they pick fights with on the inside. Brutal.>>146551499They're something like that alright>>146552854I hear sometimes it can help you overcome your fear but when I try it I just hallucinate being raped for 3 hours>>146554222RP is written in abjad>>146555622Guess what I think you should do to her?
>>146555660Damn, does he still use that 10 year old photo of himself? That's crazy lmao thank god my family moved us out to Bludhaven when I was young
>>146554639>Queen>leftist, female surname, soiboy facial hair, lives in a dump>Wayne>conservative, clean shaved chad chin, lives in a gothic mansion
>>146555704>heir of the Rich Guy family of his city>literally just gentrifies and drinks IPAsHe even copied Green Arrow's hairstyle. Fucking loser.
>>146555698I'm a drive for this guy. He comes off as a cold-bastard but deep down he cares about his family.
>>146551057https://www.forbes.com/sites/tylerroush/2024/11/06/bruce-wayne-donates-record-600-million-to-four-historically-black-medical-schools/https://cointelegraph.com/news/brother-eye-founder-wayne-donation-kamala-harris-campaignBruce Wayne isn't some populist philanthropist, he's a communist with a woke agenda.
>>146555660>>>/pol/
>>146555726That's good man, family's important to this city. My brother got killed by the Bane Cartels when he was in the East End. Horrible time for my family. How's yours?
>>146555660>>146555775This is an Gotham thread, he can post Gotham politics. What are the odds Cobblepot stages a run for Governor in 26?
>>146555682RAJESH NO
I hate Gotham so much that I wish I could sell my one-bedroom apartment and move to Metropolis.
>>146555782My uncle was killed by fucking Crazy Quilt
>>146553673Since when does poison ivy have henchwomen
>>146554519You've got it all wrong, anon. Thomas Wayne was fucking some poor chick and Martha went there to confront him about it that's the real story of why they were there. No idea why she bought her son though
>>146554605...why would it be a broken asshole?>>146554639>for whatever reason that nigga gay
>>146555501kek what a fag. You of course, not clayface
You won't believe this, I work with the Joker as a bench, been there for a while now, not the worst job in the world.if you keep laughing at the right moments, but last night, Jonesy a new guy he made a bad pun about something as Batman was fighting us and... the Batman laughed.I know what your thinking but he did, and then boss went ballistic, screaming about his comedy gold losing to a stupid pun, he was the floor throwing a tantrum.Anyway next time the city sees the Joker he's going to start one of his big terrorist acts again, you might want to leave the city
>>146557112>You won't believe this, I work with the Joker as a benchYou let the Joker sit on you for money, bro? Damn. I'd expect that sort of thing from Mad Hatter, but I always thought the Joker was above kinks.
>>146557028Lets just say I am not to compelled to come to Noonans
>>146557263Listen he thinks my backs comfy, he didnthr same with Harley but he says I'm comfortable.
>>146552697Heard the latest Robin was an asian girl
>>146551057God damn this place is so much safer, cheaper, cleaner and nicer than Detroit. I should have moved years ago.
>>146552583>Switch>Game-O-SphereYou morons. LeXBox has better hardware and has a cloud gaming service to play on the go.
>>146558130>trusting lex after he ran that program that gave people superpowers but it turned out the powers also gave you super canceri dont even want to know what the lexbox will give you
>>146558148I was a LexCorp Infinity Incorporated semifinalist AMA.
>>146551057>There's a new vigilante prowling the streets of Gotham
>Be Gothamite>Wake up at 6am to the sound of a Bus exploding outside my shitty apartment>Trudge through knee high water and half drowned hobos because someone flooded the city again>Avoid stepping on any weeds just in case Poison Ivy is in the area>Miss my train to work because somone sprayed a riddle over the schedule >Spend my afternoon cowering from demons under my work desk (fear gas leaked into the office)>Try to say goodbye to the nice receptionist I have a crush on>Told she fell into a tank of Jellyfish last week and is now running around calling herself "The Stingpin">On way home through Crime Alley>Get held up by some VENOM addict going through withdrawals>Look around for help>Spy Batman on the rooftop above>He's too busy flirting with Catwoman to notice me>Get home frazzled af>Phone rings>My uncle was killed by fucking Crazy Quilt
>>146558678>Be Metroscum>Wake up in my beautiful art deco bed next to pinup wife>Walk through the pristine streets of the city of tomorrow>Get to work at a lab developing clean energy >The economys doing so well I get another raise? Well hot dog!>On way home >Feel a whoosh of wind>Apparantley someone was thinking of mugging me>Superman's already put him in jail pending trial>Get home feeling warm and fufiled>Phone rings>My uncle was killed by Crazy Quilt (I was anom's brother the whole time)
I hate how much it rains here. You'd think we were in the Pacific Northwest.
>>146559138That's not rain this time, it's Joker Toxin. Joker managed to turn the clouds into Joker Toxin dispensaries. Didn't you see how he changed all the weather apps and channels to show a "Why So Cirrus?" message?
>>146557955I thought Robin is a boy in hotpants? Do you think he is Batman's sex slave or something?
Fuck all of you, guys! I am moving to Coast City! Nothing ever happens there, and that's good!
>>146559166At this point, boy or girl the answer is probably yes
>>146559187Yeah, as far as supes go, Green Lantern is pretty stable. I mean, it'd probably take some kind of crazy alien parasite or something to change a guy like him haha
Some of you guys are alright. Don't drink from the tap water or shower this weekend.
>>146559259>Drinking tap water >In Gotham>Ever Between all the Joker Toxin, Fear Gas, Venom, Poison Ivy Pheromones, ACE Chemicals runoff, Killer Crock sheddings and Clayface penis in the water system I'd be surprised if drinking from the tap doesn't just turn you horrible, debilitating powers right off the bat.
>>146559157I thought it was just a promo. Joker's getting lazy if he's resorting to puns.
>>146559303>he didn't install a water filter from Wayne Industriesbitch pls
>>146554649What are you? A nazi? Even Joker doesn't like nazis.
Guys i'm thinking of blowing up wither Blackgate or Arkham to let all the prisoners out again, i only have enough explosives for one, which one should i pick?
>>146559348>Trusting Wayne Industries Have you seen the leaked financial records that got plastered all over QuestiLeaks last year? It's clearly a shell company funnelling billions to god knows where and what. My personal theory is that it's being funnelled to that island of Amazons Wonder Woman claims to be from so they can arm themselves for an all out war against men. Think about it, anon: in just a few short years we'll all be led around on leashes by 6 and a half foot tall Amazonian misandrists.
>>146558170how much were you paid ?
why isnt bruce wayne in jail? he clearly orchestrated the deaths of his parents along with that butler of theirs
>>146554504white knight i think
>>146556792>>146558678>>146558993What did Crazy Quilt do, throw colors at him?
