/brit/ edition
>>201515179Wp
Sir woke shartler
righteous janny
>you lot were using the gingernonces thread/brit/ sinks to a new low
Sir Idiot Smellyface
https://x.com/barrystantonGBP/status/1828544825240756379
>>201515227I was not
why are britishers gay?
>>201515275dont know, why are britishers gay?
They're asleep post rap music
>>201515337Shan't be posting (c)rap '''''music''''' thank you very much.
Strong coffeeberg down the hatch then off to toilhopefully home a bit earlier though x
i hate nincompoops
i'm a nincompoop, and a spaz
niggardly behaviour
Can barely afford to live anymore
Coffee > teaA hill I will die on.
got to toil about 40 minutes early end my life
>>201515563You can like both you know. You don’t have to choose one
>>201515582bradley.jpg
sent that freak flying
>>201515179I was reading on ancient Roman Britannia today.It got me thinking: how is Britain's history taught to young students where you live?Is every invasion, occupation, ruler, all manner of usurpation and political intrigue on your clay taught to all students from an early grade/form?Trying to cover the entirety of Britain's history seems like it would take a lifetime to do properly. Cheers.>picunrel
ive got to be out the door in 25 minutes
Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticismSelf-imposed social isolationExtreme shyness or anxiety in social situations, though the person feels a strong desire for close relationshipsAvoids physical contact because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulusFeelings of inadequacyDrastically-reduced or absent self-esteemSelf-loathing, autophobia or self-harmMistrust of othersEmotional distancing related to intimacyHighly self-consciousSelf-critical about their problems relating to othersProblems in occupational functioningLonely self-perception, although others may find the relationship with them meaningfulFeeling inferior to othersIn some extreme cases, agoraphobiaUses fantasy as a form of escapism to interrupt painful thoughts
is imagining a drill instructor yelling at you in your head a good way to motivate yourself to do things?
>>201515680history in schools is muh ww1 and ww2 and that’s it
had a dream last night there was a civil war and I tried to go round torturing people but they just held me down and played with my toes woke up grunting
>>201515720try to live my life as it someone I respect is watching me at all times even when I'm alone and that helps sort of like what would Jesus do but for a real person
wheres 190
I don’t know who Oasis is, I only listen to rock music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bD_paZlrG0
>>201515721grim. But did you go to a good school, or are you of common stock?
VERY excited for this weekend lads. get the keys to the new pad and got a couple of mates visiting. we're going fishing and then to the pub. weather looking lovely too. it lovely.
just WOKE up haha
Why doesn't this general bardpost more often?Shakespeare is literally your heritage, you brethren – yet you all shitpost like it's a fucking tournament. jfc attempt at a pun or something
Going toil
just watched a lad walk across the road with a very strange gait, sort of forward leaning in the torso, shuffling feet and shoulders backwards and upright reckon he's got a bad back or something
>>201515689ktim
get the poo screeched
OOPSIE
>>201515999blog on you fat boring bastard
not even a supervisor and have no stake in the race but find it VERY annoying when colleagues show up late (which is often)really messes with my autism
Christmas tree needs to go up. Summer’s almost over.
>>201516181christmas :)
saw two orangutans bumming just then
wahey crikey mate fair dinkum which one of you bloody drongos wants to get glassed? *whacks myself over the head with a rubber mallet that makes a squeaking noise on impact*
>>201516234You can’t call them that
>>201516266i'm going to make you respect yourself whether you like it or not
>>201516181What about All Hallows' Eve lad?
is imagining a pozzed up feral homosexual threatening to bum you in your head a good way to motivate yourself to do things?
Ok, /brit/. What is an studio appartment?
>>201516305I love Halloween, but November 1st is the part of the year in which I’m done with autumn and winter and want spring to return.
Matched an attractive girl on the ole tind', but I have nothing of interest apart from having a british accent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JP8Fv_54JE
This is my impression of an Englishman: “Hello I’d like to return this jacket, I got the wrong size”This is my impression of an Irishman: “Hello I’d like to return this jacket, I got the wrong size”This is my impression of a Canadian: “Hello I’d like to return this jacket, I got the wrong size”This is my impression of an Australian: “Hello I’d like to return this jacket, I got the wrong size”This is my impression of an American: “Hello I’d like to return this jacket, I got the wrong size because I’m fat. Also I’m black and Jewish and my wife is having an affair.”
Does anyone still use hankies?
>>201516082read a book
David Lammy is an Uncle Tom suckling at the Israeli teet
>>201516379I wankie into a hankie
>>201516370it do be like that
>>201516379...yh
reconciliation between men and women of you race is extremely important to prevent population collapse of your racekorean men and women relationship is literally the worst these days, and their birth rate is the lowest in the worldwhite countries are basically the same
Ghetto meat on emma’s mind
>>201516379https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handkerchief_codebrown and red in the right pocket me
>>201516410State mandated gfs for Japanese, Koreans and white folk.
>>201516422>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handkerchief_code
>>201516430>state mandatedvery un-american concept tho
>>201516410Korea is just Japan but their men are better at dancing
How many fights have you been in
>>201516432AI slop
>>201516410The only developed country in the world with high birth rates is israel so clearly the solution to preventing extinction is to become psycho militaristic devoutly religious racial supremacists surrounded by 67 iq orcs firing rockets at you
don't see why my money should go towards paying for children's school meals
>>201516464kazakhstan is a developed country with high birthrates
>>201516459I was once battered so hard in a fight at school that he ripped off my trousers and pants and threw the latter into a tree so high up that they stayed there for the whole year
>>201516461>correct number of fingers and toesNot a chance, looks more like a painting.
Nothing ever gets easier
>>201516513not if you have no practice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Oq2k066A1wanti china mongs btfo
>>201516494
britpop autumn
>>201516535what made it worse was that after I was floored and realised what he was trying to do I started to try and frantically crawl away while I made little short panicked gasps of air as he tugged on my school trousers
>>201515813that guy has massively undersold itwe get taught the important stuff like william the conqueror, the tudors, all that shitbits and pieces from 1066 onwardsbefore that in primary school i got taught egyptians and greeks and all that shit but idk what state primary teaches peoplegcse years 9, 10 and 11 (13-16) are all world war stuff
Nearly 25. it’s so over
in ireland they call it irish summer timeimagine that
>>201516521When you get good at something important you just keep doing more difficult things with it
>>201516349you do you get bummed in the head
>>201516513Being able to walk and read gets easier when you're 2+ years old actually.
>>201516612What kind of autistic retard walks whilst reading
So the governments reaction to people protesting is even more censorship and brainwashing. This is insane.https://www.gbnews.com/news/ofcom-censor-social-media-posts-crackdown-uk-riotshttps://archive.vn/FPp4R
>>201516566it hasn't even begun (the extent of your misery that is)
going to liverpool this weekend tell dadberg i’m going to see old uni mates and staying with them but really booking a hotel room and getting shagged by men from the internet
>>201516370This is my impression of an Englishman: “fucks sake son i've gorn un bort the wrong faaackin coat”This is my impression of an Irishman: “oooh oim a fookin roight schopid erse, oive bahrt the wrang cooot”This is my impression of a Canadian: “Hello sar, I’d like to return this jacket, I got the wrong size. Do you have boys large, or men's extra small? Thank you, come again”This is my impression of an Australian: “FACKIN ELL CROIKEY, THERE'S A FACKIN WHOOPING FAT CUNT AND HIS NAME'S ME HAHAHAHAHA, STRUTH AYE FACK, GOT A BIGGER JACKET CUNT I BORT THE WRONG FUCKER?”This is my impression of an American: “Hello I’d like to return this jacket, I got the wrong size because I’m fat. Also I’m black and Jewish and my wife is having an affair.”
toilberg tricked me into working another overtime shift today
What's your plans to today then?Already hit the gym, going to make some breakfast, then crack on with some uni work. May got a little cheeky drive later to do some shopping. Reckon I'll switch off and do a bit of vidya around 7pm. Hit the bed around 9 ish.
>>201516680Whiteboys are weird bruv
Burlingtonarcadetoil today to purchase a new boater hat before SouthendonSeadrudgery
>>201516694Youtube toil
>>201516694unironically ate 4 pittasworth of reheated kebab meat (a full £8 container) from last night for breakfast and now will spend all day watching harry hill on youtube
>>201515999>>201516082>>201516390
>>201516684how did he trick you mate?
>>201516694"Hit" the gym did you? Did you "grab" a protein shake beforehand? "Hop" in the shower afterwards, did you?
>>201516737I train on an empty stomach
>>201516600how*
wish i could take opioids without getting constipated, any countermeasures to this lads? these OTC laxatives i got don't work
Whatever happened to chavs?
just hit my mum
>>201516622Gingerpedo
>>201516813rude
Well that's my early morning browse of 4chan around breakfast done. Off to be productive and useful now. It's good for my self-esteem. Maybe I'll pop round again later tonight.
>>201516820
>>201516729hate this faggotbut he can make a funny face
>>201516829
>>201516829nice one, see you later spainers
got in from toil 20 minutes ago
Mental how therr are spiders who have shared your living space for years and you've never met them
Fine tunning stable difussion to draw pictures of me with a black gf.
>>201516432>>201516461>>201516496it's a sculpture in front of a painting you mongs
>>201516873don't think spiders live that long
/brit/ should come up with its own slang term for a homosexual man. An errant batsman or a flower dandy or some such.
>>201516887yeah but there are jellyfish and tortoises who were born before you and will die after youput that in your pipe and smoke it
>>201516930What is your name?
goonmeat pressed up against katy's clapper in the underground
i'm ruthless. sadistic. a vile, evil, odious scoundrel. a beast. a man so wicked, that words cannot suffice. oh GOD i'm bad. i'm bad to the bone. and you? you're a plaything to me. there for my disgusting amusement. my foul fun. fuck you. fuck you up the batty. yeah, i'd like that.
>>201516948Doxxable info
:0
Average white Britoids
>>201516971if it hit someone reckon it would gobble them up?
Since Unitedstatians are the leader in LGBT propaganda we should call homosexual mans "yanks" as a /brit/ slang.
>>201516887They do actually >E. atrica (The Giant House Spider) normally lives for two or three years, but lifetimes of up to six years have been observed.
>>201516939good? fuckin, rad, dawg. i like... don't care, dude
HATE getting older conceptually but i also think of my younger self as a clueless idiot, i suppose there's always a silver lining
>>201516961Doxxable info? why that's a funny name!
>>201516980putting that knock kneed old woman out on the front line isn't fair really is it
you can stop looking at 4chan for a few weeks and you wont have missed anything but it will have gotten noticably worseit's completely over but there's nowhere else to go
>>201516993cool, glad to hear it
>>201516989The part of British insults like bender that matters most is it is fun to say. Shant
>>201516930>>201516948>>201516961>>201517014last tiem i checked this was /brit/
>>201517028
>>201517008boy have I got news for you
>>201517022You've been done softly
>>201517027You have a point so here's my upvote.
>>201516993sent that freak flying
Just entered the thread and I didn't read any posts, so I won't get any of the references
>>201516998Your words betray an incurious mind.
Eating out a Japanese pussy is probably a bit of a smelly experience.
a porcelain tub with boilin waterA SATURDAY NIGHT WITH THE MAYOR'S DAUGHTER
hate when the wagecucks start to wake up and crying and complaining. so tedious
Felled that wasteman
>>201516998
>>201517036I’d wager Jenna Ortega’s farts smell like straight up dump.
ooooooooOOOOOAAAA IM BLINDED BY THE LIGHTS
>>201517048said "i think" so was open to being wrong from the start
that's quite enough out of you circumcised yank catamites
mad to think I'm a mild mannered, normal person outside of /brit/ who would lose his job, gf and friends if they ever found out about some of the things I post here. Bet it's the same for the majority of you lads as well
Might throw poo at a migrant hotel
*surreptitiously googles catamite*
Blinded by the shite
>>201517166yep
why are so many nonces also bent? seems like little boys get raped by nonces just as often as little girls if not moreso
night smoke 2:30 am i must venture into the darkness
mental the amount of women I reject after I find out they are smokers. shan't be inhaling any of your poisonous chemicals thank you very much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhXnW4iiglchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhXnW4iiglchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhXnW4iiglcwhen i in da club
"raped by nonces" is a good name for a bawdy comedy musical act a la kunt and the gang
I googled catamite and now wish that I hadn’t.
>>201517218based
Just did my morning poo but nothing came out. Just farts and piss.Surely a bad omen.
Another day in my fucked up incel life
if you go for a morning poo but there is no poo did you even go for a poo?
Touching meTouching poo
>>201517236usually have my morning coffee and 15 minutes later i'm shitting out last night's mccain frozen pizza
Doing a watch
knobbin with all the muckety mucks I'm blowin my dough and goin deluxe
>>201517166my posts here are literally the same sort of thing i say irl and quite pleasantdon't have any of those things you said you would lose but also wouldn't lose em if i didi'm a LOVELY lada GOOD poster
Was thinking I might move to China but after further consideration and research I think I might move to Japan
might adopt stoicism so i can deal with the reality that i am a total fucking loser without wanting to kill myself
Pooston we have a problem
>>201517202your image is nothing compared to big brad
There's vaginas out there with no penis in them WTF
I have no bum, but I must poo
found out im a pollotarian without even trying to be one
Just found out I didn't win the Euromillions lottery last night. Angry beyond words.
3 eggs down the gullet
>>201517359fuck off eggladsick of you and your eggs
>50% of American Protestants are Baptistswhat's a baptist? we have em?
thinking about egyptpyramid wankers loved their fucking pyramids
>>201517355I forgot to do it, reckon I would have won.
katy being "too friendly" with the nubian office colleague as timmy watches and seethes
10 years no shag
>>201517148Ya seethin
>>201517366They're the people who turn babies into christians
>>20151739818 here
you lads watching limmys stream this morning then?
>>201517398What are you, a bouncer at a nonce club?
>>201517415Do you live in south shields?
>>201517398It's been so long since I've had sex, people I've met between then and now just automatically assume I'm a virgin.
>>201517415Good job dickhead now your ready meals are all squished
>>201517438More like /shit/
30 years a virgin
Can someone gives me 5 numbers between 1 and 50 and also 2 numbers between 1 and 12? Cheers
>>201517427sent that specky virgin into the abyss
>>201517432No why?
>normies raging about childcare costsDon't have kids if you can't afford it. You wouldn't take out a mortgage or rent a place you can't afford.Simple as.
fell off the wagonlasted a weekI am weak
had a wank to kurt lockwood shagging britney stevens while her sister, whitney, had her fingers in his arse encouraging the shaggage
>>20151745920 15 17 4 5 3 5
>>201517470Looks like my old sofa that I used to wank on
>>201517415awful colour for a settee
>>201517471Don't you EVER talk about children again you DISGUSTING fucking PAEDO
Fail everything I try. Shan't be trying anymore
>>201517412got better things to watch
>>201517490Thanks. You can have a fiver when I win
>>201517471>>201517474disgusting pigs
>>201517541for me, it's never having tried anything for fear of failure
>>201517551Gonna play those too, get fucked
>>201517412only if he's watching cilla
>>201517577Just stole £50m from your winnings then didn't I? Get played nerd, I'll see you at their headquarters when we win
Remembering the time I had bleeding haemorrhoids, so kept leaving poo and blood stains everywhere
How do I go about suing a man who stole my lottery numbers?
>>201517474i remember that one britney scene with the slip n slide
>>201517541you haven't failed at everything, you've succeeded in persevering. i believe in you, anon
Staying in bed, if I get up I might kill myself
>>201517715As soon as we're born, we begin to die. Think about it
my grandad was palestinian do i get reparations in the future?
AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S APE FOR ME!
any seconds away from death man i-
Might cut me cock and bollocks off, and call myself a woman
should I get put of bed? im still a bit tired
Death is not severe enough punishment for me. I wait for further torment for what I am.
tired, tired of living
might fire up some jav and have a wank
>>201517810
Thinking about ending it all
Tight stretchmeat walking around up for grabs.. goons lurking….
no replies from american paedophiles please
might slit me wrists
>>201517821did it ease the pain to post this? why do you deserve that?
leaves are starting to fallit's over
>>201517867Migrant Mothers: Dorothea Lange's Faces Of The Dust Bowl (1930s) - Flashbak
>>201517871Too much blood
good morrow sirs
Thinking about tying a boulder around my neck and jumping into the sea
this is my life today
>>201517901this is my life today
Can't kill myself, I'm too handsome to die
Literally took ashamed to look my mother in the eye
Got a job cleaning up this bathroom.Toilet is broken and leaking, shit all over the walls and ceiling, flooded with pissy water and poo sludge. The last people hired just took the money and ran apparently.Came up with a good idea, so I shat into the sink and mashed it down the plug hole and told the owners the last crew did it and I will need even more money to fix it.Also at some point during this metaphor I arrested someone for a Twitter post and someone for waving a flag.
Pain of living, comfort of death
tired of this mortal coil, might just evaporate
might stuff a toothpick up my jap’s eye
lots of bad vibes in here. its a new morning. you're meant to be refreshed and energised after a good nights sleep
we're all just slaves to the chemicals in our brains
might kill myself by microwaving my bollocks
the only good nights sleep is the one were I don't wake up
About to have a thegodanddevilareraginginsideme toil.
3 bottles of vodka, 5 packs of paracetamol. Sorted
happy to be alive on god's green earth
>>201518018
>>201518031111 then press 2 init
Hate mongs that try to correct you or point out flaws in your arguments. Zip it poindexter this isn't school. You don't get points for being right. I'm just saying whatever comes to my head, I don't really care how accurate it is or who agrees with me.
>>201518031Tried this but I was drinking monster and vodka, heart was pumping so fast it burnt up the paracetamol
>>201517993yeah but i had little sleep and a sleep paralysis loop so i'm in a worse state than last night
>>201518069most intelligent atheist
Today, shall be my last poo
commencing coffee and cig toil
>>201518069anti intellectualism is gross
White people be like "yum yum yum I love ricotta tortellini"
>>201518031>wakes up still not dead >liver failure>slow and agonising prolonged death
kurt russell gets to carouse with donald duck IT'S NOT FAIR
>>201518137kek this is literally me
>>201518137tortellini? nah ravioli ye sure
>>201518141It's what I deserve
>>201518159try tortellini in a soup very nice
>>201518153Always get him and Patrick Swayze mixed up
>>201518190nonsense
can't wait to shit myself after this full english and pink monster
crazy how ai lets you simulate your dreamsworking at a diverse office that employs not just me but also elven women who don't close the door when they go to the loo (hypothetical)
Would hang myself, but I don't want my parents to find my lifeless fat body spinning around tied to the ceiling with an erection
might just poo myself to death
the cronem are impatiently waiting for that fresh batch of clapmeat
the sausages you ask? yeah they're on
>>201518232honestly mad for pink monster herechug it like my life depends on it
>>201518248how unprofessional
Want to eat poo til I die
looked at my old messenger conversation with a girl i liked in school (about 10+ years ago)she used to message me every day and i'd barely respond - i was bad at texting and always left my phone on do not disturbshe'd hit me with the 'x dared me to ask you out haha' and 'i love you - whoops that was my friend!'and then i found out a few years later from a mutual friend that she actually did fancy meat present, she is in a very long-term relationship, meanwhile i have never had a gfwhat could have been, eh
Bucket list:Shower on a train in JapanHave sex with one of the mascots at Disney landTry a vegetarian mealGo fishing on a boat in the oceanFly a helicopter
>>201518274ultra rosa? always grab one of them from the woolies next to my gymtoil
>>201518283blog on you insufferably boring bastard
>>201518248creepy
>>201518282
>>201518266>>201518266boiled some raviolis todaywouldn't call myself a master chef but a veteran chef or maybe journeyman chef yeah that's moi (bit of french there)
>>201518266How many today then?
>>201518286good list, mostly achievable except the helicopter one
>>201518300Woolies has been closed since 2007
>>201518306thanks
>>201518326not in brucestralia m8, did you know america used to have woolies too? i seent it in a film set in the 1930s
>>201518364>>201518364>>201518364
>>201518320whole pack this time but I'm going to leave half to cool and eat cold another day with hummus x
>>201518346my grandpa tells me stories about woolworth's and how they sold "notions"
>>201518266you fat bastard!you fat bastard! *pokes you in your bulging belly and smacks you around the head*
>>201518406I'm not fat actually
