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>>201518364

dont like moths

im infamous in the london queer scene for being that guy who is 80% life of the party and then overdoes it and pisses people off
banned from quite a few events me but always get let back in eventually cos they know i'm also life of the party lol

Mental how Aldi is hipster-adjacent and somewhat upmarket down here.

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why yes I will take some plastic cutlery with my goyslop thanks

Wish I wasn't born, no one asked me to be born

>>201518383
don't like you

spaffed to pokemon rule34 last night
twice

>>201518386
it is seen that way here as well, I'm forever hearing middle class people rave about their alcohol and you often see expensive cars in the car park

>>201518404
how will i live knowing a fat yank doesnt like me

>>201518386
Same in China. It's marketed as a mini Waitrose there

>>201518427
spaffed to a very sensual image of vaporeon

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If Pokémon is just a portmanteau of the words “pocket” and “monster” then why do they start all their stuff with Poké instead of Mon?
Pokémart? What? A pocket market? Should be Monmart. It’s a market for your monster stuff. They don’t sell pockets.
Same with Pokéballs and literally everything else. It’s a ball for the monster not for your pocket.
Typical stupid Japanese anime writing.

>>201518384
Can't even imagine what counts as "overdoing it" in the queer scene

bumping this hard at 1:30 am yes we are
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRTlfFlJ4o8

>>201518385
*Jiggles your belly from across threads*

>>201518475
It's 16:30 you mong

>>201518468
>pocket monster mart
>pocket monster ball
frogposter...

>>201518474
being fully naked on the dance floor (some places are ok with it tho)
being too forward with girls
that kinda thing

Enjoying an aldi instant coffee, maybe life isn't so bad after all.

Yodel man en route
Yeah yodel man!

>>201518492
yeahhhh baby

You eat food? Well you must be fat then

proto-gf made fun of me earlier for being a drug addict and posting on 4chan
it's a fair cop

You suck dick? Well you must be gay then

Americans hate sex because they still retain some vestiges of their puritan settler mindset.

Living in the wild, you'll most certainly love your gun, while at the same time look down on women who look attractive, since they would be seen as planting the seeds of lust and therefore fracturing the community, which in that time was pretty much deadly.

>>201518468
HE KNOWS, SHUT IT DOWN

rorke stole food from a baby

>>201518505
aggy

F-15s flying overhead about to start a bombing run on my ballbag

Might have a fucking wank

watching Peep Show (USA)

sucking a pooBC

>>201518571
what that mean?

>>201518468
99 times out of 100 it's because amerimutts can't into proper localisation

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Tempted to get a jellyfish lamp, they look quite nice.

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>>201518509
The yodel man cometh

Shipping up to Boston, yeah yeah yeah yeah

pronouncing 'queer' as 'quare' to reclaim the word as a slur

this old gray mare she ain't what she used to be

https://desuarchive.org/int/search/filename/IMG_4292.jpg/
Mental illness

>>201518626
Looks like Jamal's sperm swimming up Lucy's fertile young sugar walls

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Let me sniff them farts Emma.

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>>201518626
What about a can of Lynx Africa in the original 90s formulation?

>>201518687
I'm not a fucking millionaire mate

>>201518505
>being too forward with girls
Doesn't sound very queer

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>>201518585
get on with it then ffs

Might visit occupied Jerusalem

>>201518708
you can like all types of girls and be queer my darling

Should I drink?
It's 6:36 and the misses will be pissed if I do
But I crave liquor

>>201518734
Oh, I see ..

>>201518751
>pissed
FOY

best desk chair under £500?

Might go for a wee on the floor now in a minute

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asgfbc utrrrr dooooo irwwww oennnn

>>201518761
What are you planning to use it for?

>>201518761
A used Herman Miller, or a new Ergohuman mesh chair.

>>201518809
Wanking mostly

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>>201518761

>>201518834
Need a chair that doesn't absorb wank sweat. No foam, no leather, synthetic mesh only.

>>201518761
HERMAN MILLER AERON SIZE B FULLY LOADED - USED OR REFURBISHED

SHOOT THE BOER, THE FARMER

>>201518761
Beanbag full of poo

>>201518860
*starves*

>>201518761
Any shit, get a metal base and big boy wheels and you're rolling

biz idea: gooning chairs

>>201518751
fuck i forgot to go to the bottleo and they close at 7
i'll never make it in time, looks like it's sobriety tonight and clean sheets tomorrow morning, bloody bugger

https://news.sky.com/story/four-jailed-after-forging-more-than-2-000-marriage-documents-for-nigerian-nationals-13204332
>Four people have been jailed after forging more than 2,000 marriage certificates to help people live in the UK illegally.
>They're all Yoruba

What is it about the Yoruba people and being dishonest and fraudulent? It was the same with the nurses scandal, that was in a Yoruba city too

>>201518761
IKEA MARKUS Office Chair

Forgot to wash my hands after receiving a delivery from Saeed this morning
It's over isn't it

>>201518895
t. Hausa cunt

>>201518889
How have off-licenses managed to stay in business in oz, they're basically all gone now here.

Never heard of Yoruba

>>201518919
Played for Everton I think

>>201518919
Japanese innit

>>201518917
it's illegal to sell alcohol in normal grocery stores, except in certain states and under specific circumstances, like i think only aldi is allowed to sell it or something

>>201518895
leftypol turning a blind eye to this

>>201518626
got one of these that my dad got me but i havent put it up yet

>>201518917
Wtf are you talking about? Maybe they're gone in your Muslim wog infested area, but not anywhere else

Never hear about Myuba do you

>>201518940
That makes sense
>>201518953
Where do you live? They haven't been a thing in the souf for zonks, paki shops don't count.

>>201518895
Leftypol launching into a 5 minute tribute to the Nigerian family that lived 7 doors down from his childhood house (they were Igbo)

might pay for fanny

jorjor well

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>>201518937
No you're thinking of Yotsuba

any naughty little niggers in

>>201518980
Sex change?

>>201518975
>paki shops don't count
They do though don't they

Just ordered myself a moss ball. Should be arriving tomorrow

>>201518995
newsagents aren't offies mate

Tarq calling a bespoke wine boutique an off licence

>>201518975
>the souf now no longer has off licenses just kebab shops and mosques
grim grim grim grim GRIM

Whenever I order deliverwogs I can't help but notice they all have massive hands, wonder if that's just because having big hands make them good at carrying lots of bags of slop, maybe the small-handed pakis can't hack it

got the earth 2 special low frequency version on

>>201519004
Weird how these things become fads, same with sourdough starters, houseplants, and a load of other shit

moss ball

I've got some moss balls for ya! *pulls out my gangrenous rotten hairy balls*

mumberg gave me some of her mossball starter

moss ball

Paralympics starting today lads

>>201518987
yeah seen one in your mum earlier

the parcelforce man also cometh

>>201518896
had one for 6 years and its never been comfortable

>>201519085
she died before i was born

>>201519076
lol that's me at the queer clubs
get the ol lil semi erect cock shaking about as well arching off to the right

>>201519058
It's not a fad, mum. They live for 200 years

Oh, he’s mossball crazy!
He's mossball mad!

>>201519102
How did she die? BBC overdose?

>>201519121
fell into a volcano

>>201519102
alri coffin birth lad

>>201519093
Can't trust them

Wait, a moss what?

sucking a mossball

>>201519116
Steven you need to get a job, you're 30 years old, and can you PLEASE stop leaving you wank socks around? I'm sick to bastard death of picking them up, what would your dad say if he was here?

>>201518896
this was my first desk chair, I remember it fondly
had a visible arse crack stain on it

>>201519084
when do you compete?

>>201519119
Grab you gangrenous rotten hairy balls and play moss ball with the lads

>>201519137
Flaming Norah

>>201518895
Guarantee the people using the fraudulent certificates won't be deported

Sir Keir Mossball

>>201518975
>paki shops don't count
are they not the exact same thing? What the fuck are you thinking of, Oddbins?

while you studied descartes
i studied desargues
we are not the same

Selling counterfeit mossballs

>>201519169
2 year minimum sentence.

>>201519143
Did your mum run away with the parcelforcechad?

My brother picks his nose and wipes it on the bottom of his desk chairs
Builds a rock-like crust after a while

girl i had a crush on in school but never asked out got pregnant by some other lad so now i'm waiting for her daughter to reach legal age and i'll shag her instead

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>>201519153

>>201519191
Bit weird

Those are the people calling me unfunny.

One mossball please, mossman.

>>201519191
alri woody Allen

>Onifade, from Gravesend in Kent, and Shodipo, from Manchester, were both found guilty of conspiracy to facilitate illegal entry into the UK and conspiracy to provide articles used in fraud. They were jailed for six years and five years respectively.
Traffic 2000 people into the country and that's only worth a 6 year sentence

landing a chinook on a football ground in the middle of a game and unleashing my army of hyper intelligent chimpanzees towards all the spectators

Regret having a w*nk this morning
Wasn’t even horny just bored so it was pretty underwhelming now I have to wait to recharge my vitality

>wants to get married and pushes for the same
>puts on weight and stops shagging beforehand
logic was never the proto-ex-gfs strong suit, nor is it women’s in general

Right well the postman was supposed to have something for me but I've just heard him pitter patter up and down the shared gravel drive but nary a knock upon my door, so what is THAT about, Starmer?

>>201519240
boredomwanks are always extremely disappointing

>>201519243
Honestly this country has gone to the dogs

>>201519243
I take it there's a lot of migrants in your area then?

>>201519243
Hes smoking ur pack rn

>>201519249
used to boredomwank up to 5 times a day when I was a teenager very very sorry state of affairs

mental how potent goffee is as a laxative
literally 3 sips and I'm ready to poo

Sir Kier wogsucker

>>201519240
have a morning wank mostly to get it out the way
otherwise it’ll be on my mind all morning and I won’t get anything done

>>201519241
be honest, she’s the one who broke up with you isn’t she?

I know Sir Kenneth Starmer lurks these threads so you listen now right here.
Legalise da ting
I won't tell you again. Last chance.
Think of all the tax and economic activity

>>201519296
Yeah! Legalise snus!

oi BENCHOD
*rorke turns round*

I find the midnight wank is best for me

Legalise all crime. Tax the proceeds.

Criminalise moss balls

got the kino BBC on

rorke ironically having a much deeper and intimate knowledge and understanding of other countries and cultures than leftypol purely due to his racism

Sir Kid Shagger

>>201519337
Good idea. 1 year sentence per cm in diameter

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a su gtd froi broro crowe rown own wn n

Watching Limmy

any abomination against god man in

>>201519294
no

OHHHH GEREMI GORBIN

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>>201519337
Yea this is absurd

>>201519368
*raises tentacle*

beeeg gublag gaawfeeee ahooooo

I want to know the socioeconomic status of the people that post on Brit at 10am on a Thursday.

What is your salary?
Do you rent - how much?
Do you own your own home - mortgage payments?
What car do you drive?
What supermarket do you shop at?

Honestly it gives me the fear thinking that some of you are part of the underclass watching day time TV

>>201519368
yeah your mum

a skib

petrifying a poo

You lads lying about moss balls?

>>201519378
Cute

>>201519369
>she stopped shagging you
writing was on the wall mate she lost interest long before you broke up

>>201519397
26 grand
yes £625
no
corsa
tesco

>>201519378
That Mossball is in poor neglect. A healthy mossball should be more round in shape.
That person clearly doesn't swirl the water around to mimic it's natural habitat

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>>201519368
:)

>>201519397
nice try data scraper. you wont get anything from me

>>201519397
£130k
rent at £1700 per month
ride a triumph motorbike
asda

>>201519397
n/a to all of the above

Jeremy Corbyn needs to lead an army to overthrow the treacherous Keith Cumfarter in a bloody coup

>>201519397
>What is your salary?
£42,000
>Do you rent - how much?
£425 (Split with girlfriendberg)
>Do you own your own home - mortgage payments?
No
>What car do you drive?
'04 plate hatchback
>What supermarket do you shop at?
Mix of Sainsbury's, Lidl and local farm shop

>>201519397
>What is your salary?
£0
>Do you rent - how much?
No
>Do you own your own home - mortgage payments?
No
>What car do you drive?
Toyota IQ
>What supermarket do you shop at?
Wherever mumberg does the shopping

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What's the fuck is that on the left in the background

>>201519397
25k
Rent, £800
Dacia Duster, fantastic little car.
Ocado delivery

>>201519443
good job disguising the name otherwise this post would be tantamount to treason and you might actually get a visit from the rozzers

>>201519463
Me.

Can we send toby a mossball
Interested to see what he would do to it

>>201519420
Straight to gulag

>>201519397
>What is your salary?
I’m on benefits but I get roughly £600 a month in total
>Do you rent - how much?
Live with mum, she doesn’t charge me rent
>Do you own your own home - mortgage payments?
Mum owns hers, she finished paying her mortgage a few years ago
>What car do you drive?
Dacia Duster
>What supermarket do you shop at?
Mumberg goes to both Sainsbury’s and Tesco

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>>201519397
>What is your salary?
pic related
>Do you rent - how much?
Yes, £800
>Do you own your own home - mortgage payments?
No, but rent a much nicer place than most people will ever live in I think
>What car do you drive?
My office is a ten minute walk so I don't need a car
>What supermarket do you shop at?
Tesco, big one

>>201519463
Wtf is that image
so fucking spooky to look

Total Salarymong Death

>>201519496
>No, but rent a much nicer place than most people will ever live in I think
That's a cope

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>>201519397

>>201519496
>rent a much nicer place than most people will ever live in I think
For £800 a month? Give over.

>>201519397
>£38k
>yes, £850 a month
>2006 Polo
>Sainos mostly

I'm posting on Thursday because it's my day off, is that really such an alien concept to you?

a wank without the obligation of spaffing at the end of it
is that too much to ask

Lets support our comrade Corbyn in his moral war against Starmer

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>>201519496

tower hamlets is 34% bangladeshi and 22% white british

express postage from melbourne to my place used to be next-day delivery, now it's 2 days
this will not stand, australia post, i'm calling you out

>>201519532
not hard desu, my £1700 gaff is mouldy and in a terrible area of London
£800 would get you a much nicer place up north

male scat gifs

>>201519397
>What is your salary?
Ice Spice
>Do you rent - how much?
Ice Spice
>Do you own your own home - mortgage payments?
Ice Spice
>What car do you drive?
Ice Spice
>What supermarket do you shop at?
Ice Spice

Corbyn - Lenin
Starmer - Stalin
WTF

>>201519565
Seems like B2C logistics is taking a nosedive all over the place
Bet Putin's up to his old tricks

Been phoneposting for two hours, time to get the laptop out

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having a breakfast

>>201519565
Greek holiday isn't it

I was raised comfortably upper-middle class but as an adult I only earn 25k but because of my upbringing I don't really fit in with anyone in my socioeconomic status

rorke eating peas

>>201519596
looks like tits lol

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>>201519596

looking good lad

>>201519522
No it isn't

>>201519532
I don't live in London lol £800 goes a long way if you're not in the joke capital. I live on a marina, waterfront apartment, and a particularly well placed one. The walkway outside my patio is basically a major beauty spot. Every day people will stop and take pictures and selfies right outside where I live

can you go into politics without any politics?
just want to participate in the pageantry

might book a travelodge for two days and do 5 grams of ketamine before i fucking top myself

might have a cheeky poo wank
mustn’t make a mess all over the work laptop though

>>201519658
Don't do it
Choose a Premier Inn

>>201519632
Why are you giving me the side eye?

>>201519658
can I come?

Kier Starmer suggested he's going to tax private pensions

Which would then fund government pensions

Lmfao

>>201519653
>major beauty spot
>10 mins walk away from office buildings
Time to stop the LARP now

fingering my arsehole til I cum poo

>>201519670
price different would be worth like two grams of ket

>>201519678
no it's hard to enjoy a multi person ket sesh sorry

>>201519685
think thats just called pooing

>>201519653
Good bait but can't be arsed to play into it this morning, got too much on my mind

>>201519658
But the ket might be an antidepressant and make you not want to kys

>>201519670
Fuck off Lenny Henry

Kier should make us rejoin the EU
It'd be really funny

pooing out last night's haggis

pooing some wee out of my dick

Any born without the part of your soul that makes you human and able to interact with others and every social interaction feels like a façade with a winner and a loser man in?

bit of a pooey thread, someone open a window

>>201519705
well yeah mate

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>working from home
>posting here about what i earn instead of working
>gets a loud Teams ding
>message from my manager
>well done yesterday mate - cracking day (fire emoji)

Couldn't be a neet again

>>201519596
eggchebs

>>201519397
I work 70 hour weeks. I don't eat breakfast, or lunch in order to keep my weight under control in order to enjoy my weekends to the max.

If I want to pay for a fucking Chinese, I'll pay for the fucking Chinese and I don't care how expensive it gets. It's a small price to pay for sanity. It's the only thing I look forward to.

>>201519749
What did you do yesterday

>premier inn
I tried to book one but changed my mind seeing they were 110 pound a night

That's more than a days wages for a supermarket worker lmao

>>201519681
Some offices are on marinas and near marinas, but to be fair it's a ten minute sprint. It's a twenty minute walk if I walked

>>201519698
It's truth

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>think thats just called pooing

>>201519756
>70 hour weeks
do you work in a Chinese sweatshop?

blowing poo bubbles

>>201519770
Used 20 VPNs on /brit/ to cope with aisha rejecting me

>>201519770
made six sales

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>but to be fair it's a ten minute sprint. It's a twenty minute walk if I walked

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The proverbial

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Marina mentioned

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c br fro grow srown atown uown drn ie o

>>201519792
fuck off you revolting yank freak

Lollipop ladies be like "Don't worry kids my pole and reflective jacket will stop that volvo estate going 70 driven by a man who had 3 bottles of white lightning for breakfast"

>>201519807
crikey

the pooverbial

Eating a £13 sirloin steak from Sainsburys because I can afford it. Made it rare. It's so juicy and succulent. Bet you want a taste. Sorry, not for poorfags.

>>201519397
£42000
£850/month for my smeggy bedroom in London
No
I don't
Tesco

>>201519834
A bottle of white lighting is 3liters

>>201519801
I'm not a fatty I like a sprint

I'm a a salesman who lives on a marina at a beauty spot and sprints ten minutes to work (once a week or so) and work the rest from home, and don't need a car so I can afford to spend a lot on rent to live in front of boats and people walking their dogs, rather than watching cars

>>201519827
Imagine being upset that somebody held a mirror up to yourself

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>>201519807
Not sure how mine isn't absolutely rockbottom, I miss at least one payment every single month

having a fight or flight response upon seeing a poo

>>201519397
How the fuck did this get so many replies. Deary fucking me

>>201519849
Steak for breakfast?

>>201519860
alri tramp at the park in the 90's

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>I'm a a salesman who lives on a marina at a beauty spot and sprints ten minutes to work (once a week or so) and work the rest from home, and don't need a car so I can afford to spend a lot on rent to live in front of boats and people walking their dogs, rather than watching cars

>>201519875
yeah same, defaulted on a loan in january which fucked mine a lot too
literally have money as well just fucking cba paying stuff lol

>>201519894
Are you one of those people that thinks you need to eat certain things at certain times?

Bought a Land Rover recently and absolutely love it
Country chads we always win

>>201519888
I've had more than that with far fewer words

>No I'd never trust a Paki
>WAIT WHY AREN'T THE PAKIS BEING CONSCRIBED WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAN'T LEAVE THEM ALONE WITH OUR WOMEN

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>>201519575
Starmer is a social democrat in the tradition of the SDP-led freikorps who purged the Spartacists or Labour Party member Oswald Mosley.

>>201519925
Are you asking if I am a member of the group called "Everyone"? Yes I am

>>201519866
You said your rent was 800 quid that’s not a lot. If that’s considered a high rent where you live it must me a massive shithole

do you think liam gallagher shags noel up the arse or does noel shag liam

>>201519945
What are you waffling on about

lad ordered a well done steak so i literally murdered him

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>thinking £13 on a steak is extravagant

>>201519948
He's that in English
"Starmer is a Jew"

remember when that rich guy bought manchester

>>201519954
done him up like a kipper

>>201519978
yes

>>201519956
I live in Hull, the Venice of the North

Rich people be like "You know what I really need on my flight? A moist towel. Oh how splendid let me dab my face with this moist towel" lol

A girl I like deleted (or changed the username of) her instagram. It's so over.

>>201519989
Starmer is a fighter for militant Zionist Imperialism and not the Jewish working class of Britain.

>>201519982
It's a lot for a supermarket sirloin to be fair
Can get a lovely 14oz thick-cut ribeye from saino's for a tenner

>>201519925
Not really, but I can't have a cooked breakfast after 12pm because it feels wrong. Steak and eggs for breakfast is a relatively normal thing in america I think. Yanks chime in

just saw a poo run across the floor

>>201519954
Appealing to the majority, who are low IQ and prone to group think isn't a win lad. There is absolutely no rational reason why you can't eat steak for breakfast. You've been conditioned by expectations and norms that don't make any sense.

Man walks up to the employee and says "Yeah, I would like uhhh...the Polish sausage." The employee kinda chuckles and says "Polish sausage, you must be Polish?" The man now angry yells " HEY, JUST CAUSE I ORDERED A POLISH SAUSAGE DON'T MAKE ME POLISH! IF I ORDERED FRENCH FRIES DOES THST MAKE ME FRENCH, IF I ORDER SWEDISH MEATBALLS DOES THAT MAKE ME SWEDISH, IF I ORDERED A CUBAN SANDWICH DOES THAT MAKE ME CUBAN? GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO THINK I'M POLISH CAUSE I ORDERED A POLISH SAUSAGE, CAUSE I'M NOT POLISH!" The employee: " Sir, first of all, this is a hardware store."

girl i like changed her pronouns

>>201520016
Try Premium Economy lad. Treat yourself!

>>201519904
Why are you incapable of accepting that?

>>201519956
Yeah the general city is a massive shithole but the particular area is nicer than you'd get anywhere else in the UK. It's as south as London but I shan't say where

>>201520048
I fry eggs and slap them into a butty for a quick meal all the time. Easy, fast, good protein source all day.

Would be a right laugh if King Charles were to do a cheeky dissolving of the government. Starmer would be fuming.

>>201520071
Can barely afford the bus mate. I'm not taking no flights anywhere

>>201520056
>There is absolutely no rational reason why you can't eat steak for breakfast.
Plenty actually, though I can see you are probably too low IQ to think of any

>>201519982
Yes 190 spending 13 on a meal is extravagant especially when men aren't 35 year old bachelors like you

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>>201519807
I'll lend you some

weeing an endless stream of little green caterpillars out of my willy like silly string

>>201519808
would love to see a jungle bbc coat her tits with african champagne

>>201520095
I've got an egg cooker and I'm about to put three eggs in and them eat them perfectly soft

basically got nothing planned for my future and just hoping i stumble dick first into success by sheer chance

>>201520016
Unironically I love those towels. Feels majestic having it brought to me in my exclusive part of the plane. Feels good to wash your face after the hassle of an airport.

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>Jewish working class

>>201520008
Just googled Hull Marina, looks like a post industrial shithole. Mad what Northerners consider to be a beauty spot.

>>201520091
You're talking about Ocean Village, Southampton aren't you?

>£13
A pizza costs that now and you can't tell whether it's been reheated

>>201520143
>>201520143

>>201519933
My missus is about to buy up all the Land Rover Freelander 2 automatics in the country. If you need one, get it fast. It's the only car she drives and won't change it.

>>201520102
You are poor

unreasonably angry at yank pigs and their dreary shite posts for 10.30am on a Wednesday

>>201520008
800 quid to live in Hull? thats mental

>>201520139
>and you can't tell whether it's been reheated
They make it before me

>>201520165
i will never poo again

>>201520139
>A pizza costs that now
no it doesn't. £4 from any supermarket