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No one will believe this but this morning when I woke up I was trapped in the bedroom. The door latch had somehow become uncoupled from the handle so when I turned the handle down nothing happened; the latch remained in place (see webm).

There was fucking NOTHING in this room, tool-wise let me tell you. I had on me:

>phone
>charger
>a bunch of clothes
>a set of nail clippers
>a single pair of trainers

No wallet, no keys. I'm not joking when I say there is nothing else in that room besides except the bed itself. I don't have furniture because I've not long moved in.

Obviously I did make it out but I won't say yet how I managed it. Instead feel free to imagine how you would get out if this happens to you.

Imagine you're alone in a house, nothing but the above mentioned items, door handle does nothing, 2 floors up, suddenly the door latch isn't working. Under normal circumstances the door opens inward i.e towards you inside the room. How do you get out of this room? I'm curious to see if people have better ideas than what I used in the end (besides phoning someone / the fire brigade).

>>202512213
Toasty bass
Nutty bass

bump

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Meet the new /brit/
Same as the old /brit/

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>constant deliberate banging

what would happen if suddenly no one made a new thread

>>202514581
well if you had a phone then it was basically not much of an issue
an annoyance certainly but nothing you couldn't get out of with one phone call

>>202514601
same as it ever was

>>202514581
Wouldnt have happened if you supported Manchester you fuckin poof

>>202514581
i keep a shotgun in my room

Got a lovely greggs order on the way. Sausage roll, sausage bean and cheese melt, and two slices of pizza

>>202512213
>18% BF
>visible abs
Greg, you fucking bullshitter

>>202514581
bizarre looking thumb

dont know anybody who watches the telly anymore really
it's a proles and boomer thing

and a cyanide capsule under my foreskin

>>202514646
>no yumyums
utterly fucked it

>>202514667
i'm watching the telly right now

>>202514703
but you're a dole scrounger runt freak so my point stands

im smoking gas. smoking that HIMthane

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>>202514635
Letting the threads go by, let the cuckposts hold me down
Letting the threads go by, dogshit yankposts all around
Into the /brit/ again, after the days motivation has gone
Once in a lifetime, dogshit yankposts all around

>>202514581
*kicks it open*

>>202514720
full time employed myself

>>202514731
*does a funny dance across the thread*

love the idea that watching the TV is somehow supposedly associated with being poor

You can only eat 1 menu item from Greggs for the rest of your life
What is it lads?

>>202514747
horrible fanny that :/

pack im smoking so lit so lit because im smoking that primary explosive straight out the cart. going to replace it later to wire up to a piezoelectric crystal from the lighter to go smoke some opps

>>202512213
i have had only one girlfriend because i am socially anxious and i am autistic

>>202514747
hot

>>202514737
yeah? at the bum arse warehouse? take a walk you freak

>>202514667
rewatching the Sopranos myself
bit of a millennial-boomer

listening to the roman empire's national anthem

>>202514768
FOY
>>202514758
Me the fat balding manlet

>>202514731
banger

>>202514794
honestly i would associate not having a TV with being a loser freak
like where do you watch football if not on the telly?

Non stop neighbours repeats on my tv de lads

opps still using neurons to think, my brain is a lattice structure crystal that morphs whenever i have a thought

>>202514807
I'm not talking about tv series but the news, tv game shows usual tv programs shite

>>202514833
have a flatscreen for films and sports but don't watch runt freak programs on them

>>202514780
SCUM
C
U
M

>>202514825
Make me you poof

>>202514855
so you don't have a problem with TV you have a problem with bad TV

>>202514855
oh right. yeah i dont watch that type of telly unless im visiting older family members.

need clunge culture back

oop thought he was him so i injected some of my cerebral spinal fluid into his. he soon found out that he wasnt. now he doesnt know who or what the fuck is going on nevermind about that

>>202514841
>that morphs whenever i have a thought
we'll be waiting a while then

rorke the typa nigga to be a lazy security guard with a big ring of keys on his belt that a robber snatches off him when he falls asleep standing up for a split second

if you have any questions about christanity i shall try to answer them

i gave that nigga schizophrenia and sickle cell disease

>>202514758
why would you wear clothes that fit well but not care enough about your diet lol

>>202514926
book of job
what the fuck was god's problem

>>202514926
why do greek orthodox wear those silly little hats

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>>202514633
The door handle didn't work from either side though lad. Someone on the other side is just as fucked as I am. Although admittedly they'd have access to tools but they cannot see the hinges as the door is closed. The bolts are on my side as the door opens inward.

>>202514736
That just wasn't an option lad. There's no way for me to kick a door that opens inward in such a manner that it opens from the inside. I'm not Bruce Wayne.


THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU

>>202514926
Live a good life.

If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by.

If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them.

If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.

i gave that nigga a yeast infection. no homo i just wanted to see if he could be domesticated

>>202514952
what do you mean?
>>202514955
dk
>>202514967
not sure what this has to do with christanity but this is naive

>>202514967
that's a fake quote

>>202514966
see those screws on the handle there? yeah they're on the other side of the door too

>>202514926
Why was the god of the bible so evil?

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POV: you want to get a beer with the boys

>>202514926
what is the difference between lutheranism and calvinism?

But cock smells rank so I am going to take a shower

>>202514996
mj nose

love and cherish women

Might shave the ol' cock and balls bald

>>202514985
Can only be a fake quote if its wrongly attributed

>>202514996
>>202515024
why

>>202514581
this has happened to me, the flat's front door
couldn't open it from the inside, fortunately had next door coming upstairs just a minute after to get the other side.
i've also had this happen in a downstairs toilet, i used a bit of plastic in a notch to turn the latch

>>202514980
>what do you mean?
>ruins the life of one of his most devoted followers over a bet with the literal embodiment of evil

wait a minute that "you call me colored poem" by the stewpid five year old said that WE are the ones going "black and blue"
when hes black, and other black people (i guess hes never seen before) are purple

How many Turkish barbershops does one town need?

>>202514980
useless. never offer to answer questions of christianity again.

>>202514996
It do be kinda like that dont it
They are just going on about some shit you genuinely dont care about but you have to listen because you cummed in them

>>202515053
toby

Is taking a job that a short fixed-term contract (like 6 months) ever worth it? Do they ever roll into something permanent?

>>202514985
Not an argument.

>>202514980
>not sure what this has to do with christanity
sigh

hello you idiot gay niggas

>>202515038
they are pretty and smell good and are lovely even when they're psycho cunts who never shut the fuck up

>>202514966
why did you not have your wallet?

?
how so?

summed up every reply to those posts for you. you're welcome

>>202515084
um hi

>>202515084
We say nigger here

>>202515084
hey ebonicsaussie
still smoking nigga weed and watching spongebob?

>>202515053
You are permanently banned from the OSRS Wiki.

>>202515066
He genuinely thinks he’s of help lmao

>>202515084
*blushes* ummm hi :3

>>202515080
yeah if it suits your lifestyle
they typically pay better than permanent roles, at least in more senior positions and you obviously have more freedom to pick and choose what you do next

>>202515114
playing overwatch at the moment

hour 10 of trying this hard to be relevant in the thread

>>202515057
>he doesn't know why these cash business sprout out of nowhere

sweet summer child

>>202514581
just credit card the lot

>>202515080
Every temporary job I've had has turned permanent. Probably not if you're a mong that can't do a job properly though or it's something that is actually only needed for a set time like maternity cover or seasonal work

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mfw one of the toil lasses announces her pregnancy

>>202515132
its 2024 you fucking lunatic

>>202515024
love big chebs on women

Not even hungry enough for this greggs

>>202515157
Put your name on

https://img85.pixhost.to/images/55/345950779_41213_hollyhendrix_068.jpg

>>202515084
arre you the Lymes diease/Stroke mong

i've seen the first two seasons of inbetweeners so i think i'm up-to-speed on modern bong culture.

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the bull surveys his kingdom

>>202515188
...interesting.

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>>202515097
I don't keep it in the bedroom overnight.

Though likely I will be in future, in case this happens again. Although I've already removed the latch + housing from the door lest I become trapped again.

>>202515145
No wallet.

im the HIMbetweeners
between getting this fat pussy and getting money every day most like

>>202515148
>maternity cover
this is the reasoning for one i was looking at, hmm...
wishing thinking to think they might go 'this guy's good, we can't lose him'? or once you're 'in the system', is it easier to mind other roles internally? or are temp workers not treated the same way.

>>202515188
mcafee haunting my loud speaker and yelling at me to not click that link

>>202515164
its popping off

time for some himtube videos

>>202515084
g'day wee man

new New Zealand American PMSing all over for like an hour: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jHPD8zvDuI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jHPD8zvDuI

>>202515241
Depends on the company. They can't sack the person on maternity leave. They might not come back, they might have another position if you're good. More likely if it's a bigger company but nobody is inventing a new position and trying to fit it in their budget just because the temp they hired was decent

>>202515188
Not sure if I should click this shit my nigga

>>202515325
literally could not care less

just credit card the lock

Next Conservative Party Leader Odds (+ Implied Probability):

Jenrick: 8/13 (61%)
Badenoch 11/4 (26%)
Cleverly: 12/1 (8%)
Tugendhat: 18/1 (5%)

Odds via @oddschecker, 21/09.

fucking robert jenrick lmao
state of front bench conservatives

oh mi oh mi i have found you nigga

Anybody had this Philly Cheesestack from maccies? I can get 2 double cheeseburgers for less, not sure if it's worth it

but mousey makes some proper weird noises when you suck him off

>>202515390
>eating goyslop

>>202515368
wtf are those names

need my dick sucked while i watch YT

if it's clear and yella, you've got juice there fella
if it's tangy and brown you're in cider town

>>202515413
Whats wrong with white culture?

>>202515425
three posh english and one african

>>202515392
Does he talk about the mice and sim cards while smoking half smoked cigarettes he got from the street?

>>202515390
Yeah it’s very peng tbf

>>202515438
judeo-american culture isn't White culture

>>202515455
Cope on

>>202515413
Yes mate people go to mcdonalds. Love to hear the opinion of little freaks talking about the jews constantly though cheers nice one

wouldnt you like to know

australia is going to be wakanda but with white people in 30 years

have you got wobbly ear lobes or those other ear lobes that aren't wobbly?

>>202515466
t. ngubu

>>202515471
Bodied that antisemitic freak

>>202515481
Australians are too busy LARPing as Abbos

>>202515481
Sudanese migrants finna take over

i dont mind Jews to be fair

>>202515504
mad that no one ever considers ethiopia a part of this despite the fact the amhara spread out and conquered numerous neighbouring peoples in this period

>>202515519
im 1/16 abo so its not a larp

>>202515504
Mental how even fucking Belgium had a crack at Africa. Imagine being colonised by BELGIANS

>>202515504
why are europeans so evil is my question

the leftists on this website are evil

>>202515548
no one knows what tf youre yapping about is why

>>202515565
Imagine getting colonised by africans in 2024 lol
That's europe

is it worth going out with a single mum as a practice gf to get my confidence up? its been a long time since ive had a gf and want to get back in the game but dont want to end up tied to a woman who already has kids

dont know how people can talk on aeroplanes
i cant hear anythign with all that buzzing

>>202515654
raped those white cunts with your bongo black willy

its a lot different
you arent "colonizing" you are being welcomed in by government and on welfare

>>202515673
Alright settle down incel

Even interacting with cabin crew to get drinks and meals can be difficult and often requires help. Most airlines now only offer wooden cutlery instead of plastic, which can cause sensory overload and can be difficult to use for those with secondary needs such as dyspraxia.

>>202514991
he isnt?
>>202515000
probably predestination is the biggest one i think there are differenc esin sacraments too
>>202515044
satan isn't the embodiment of evil lol
and he gets everything back but twice as much at the end
>>202515066
?
>>202515082
why sighihng?

>>202514581
you use the nail clipper level to unscrew the handle and just pull the thing down

>>202515695
And taking over white towns

>>202515673
we gon strap you to a crate of dynamite and blast you to smithereens my nigga

>>202515686
cute tum, would love to slap my willy against it

>>202515623
i dont expect a baboon like yourself to understand history

you arent "colonizing" its either starving in that shithole or coming here. i wont be discussing this further (plus youre white)

might become a hod carrier

you arent "colonizing" youre running away from dying from starvation by sailing to other countries and sinking your own boats to begin the long process of the white people taking care of you like they do in Africa

>i wont be discussing this further
>discusses it further

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>>202515613
Watching an Al Jazeera special rn on Climate Activists vs AFD (Alternative for Deutschland). The left wingers seem like sweet people whose kindness manifests as political leftism
4chan is a total inversion of reality

>>202515813
nah. self hating whites are a disease

toby

>>202515813
>The left wingers seem like sweet people
you've fallen for motte and bailey tactics

toby

>>202515623
>tf
>yapping
brainless dribbling spastic noodle haired zoomer prick

>>202515813
just to be clear, it isnt self-hating to give a shit about people in Africa. its people like those above your post. white people sitting there and saying "black people are 'taking over' the white towns" and "colonizing"

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>you've fallen for motte and bailey tactics

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>>202515849
What are those?

>>202515865
its ebonicsaussie
he smokes weed all day and loves his negro-zoomerisms

>>202515879
raped that cunt up the arse

everything the left loves is so unquestionably and obviously good both in on itself and for you that its illegal to disagree

>>202515715
sreaming

Almost time to close my curtains

it isnt a crime to call women (not trans women) men

was really pleased with being anonymous but now some freak has started calling me ebonicsaussie

>>202515899
there's definitely multiple aussies who call people nigga and such
i should know because i'm one of them

coming to the realisation every female "friend" i was trying to hang out with was actually just me being horny
probably not unusual but just hadnt thought about it

You now remember that French was the language of the English elites for 400 years

Lmao

>>202516032
sacre bleu!

Sticking my bum out the window and pooing on passersby on the footpath below.

sausages for tea x

>>202516032
oi, OI!

*avatar flags*
[laughter ensues]

hoovering a chiko roll up me bum

>>202516032
and in russia too

off to selfridges tomorrow to pick up a new arcy jacket
fucking loaded me

YFI putting "lol" after every sentence looks insecure as fuck and i know you dont give a shit or want to show some weakness about how much of a faggot you are but it is also extremely gay

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Smoking that shit lads

someone sent this band called allah-las here and all their songs sound exactly the same

>>202516179
rage on incel

i can't sleep without alcohol

pack so loud columbo's glass eye popped out

i think i can smell shite

>>202516230
for me its a nice asmr video

>>202516159
No it wasn't. An honour given the Patrick Gordon who saved Peter the Great was being called Ivanov
Lower your tone

toby lol

Doing some pacing round the flat while half watching the football
Not done many steps today unfortunately

don't see any reason not to kill myself, even if my life magically became spectacular overnight, the, the endless pit of unfulfilled want will torment my poor dumb animal brain forever

making webms

pooing the house down

harvard, princeton, yale offered me scholarships - i turned them all down

>>202516358
Have you considered therapy?

>>202516396
i've done it before but it doesn't help, neither does medication

yea bro im just going to shoot myself in the head and fucking die or something

>>202516412
I'm sorry to hear that mate
I can only suggest to keep trying and maybe you'll find yourself a reason to live and enjoy your life

>>202516446
if i were going to it would've happened by now i'm 30

start doing this

Instead of killing myself I've decided to go mental. Completely off the rails. Bat shit insane.

knew that comment would se them off

therapy is not for blokes 2bh
all based on womens idea of how to sort a bloke out, only works for the most feminine of lads

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>>202516440
>>202516358
Livestream it here

>>202516511
Worked for me
My therapist saved my life

>>202516425
smiled at this

never really wanted to kill myself, i love my beautiful incel life even if it is sad sometimes

>>202516528
you ever shag her up the arse?

>>202516358
Have you considered booze? Dulls the pain for me

>>202516544
:)

watching goldeneye again, nothing will ever top brosnan as the greatest bond ever, and famke was sexo

https://youtu.be/Oz8TYyn-k40?t=118

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I'LL be watching
DIEGO'LL be watching
Will YOU?

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>>202516511
Can't get medication without therapy typically. It's a pathway to drugs. Know lads who would be out of sorts without xanax or adderall

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nan just sent me this

>>202516551
Never have
I have had sexually themed dreams about her but no actual sex took place in them so I can still look her in the eye

>>202516557
it's a temporary solution to a permanent problem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvKKs1qcbYs&ab_channel=GREENMAN

>>202516579
i'll be at toil but wouldnt be watching if i were home

Thors absolutely tearing the sky up where I am. Someone’s pissed him off

>>202516264
russian elites spoke french nigga

Getting off the booze me
I don't need it

Got quite drunk yesterday and I am drinking a few beers today, but not getting drunk. Have two beers left and I am having a dilemma with regards to ordering more. I don't think I want a hangover tomorrow.

>>202516589
>webm
would spark this fella out easy, why does this shit never happen whilst I'm about?

>>202516640
Can I have yours?

wouldve gone down differently if i was in that train carriage

https://youtu.be/sFuJjVru75A

dadberg fetching tonights takeaway slop

Getting on the booze me
I do need it

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>>202516626
Jarvis open lightningmaps.org and show me all current thunderstorms. Cross reference locations with avengers funkopop figure sales.

>>202516663
Crack on fella
I've simply evolved past the need for it

>>202516611
It’s not permanent though.

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>>202516681

noseberg whistling when l breathe

2 (two) English players playing for Crystal Palace. 0 (ZERO) English players playing for Man United. The ENGLISH premier league is DONE.

>>202516740
Hate that shit

mute the telly when the youtube adverts come on
madison avenue in shambles

>>202516716
Kek

>>202516752
Mainoo is playing for man u

>>202516780
Yh he said English

>>202516788
Mainoo is english

Mainoo the Englishman

>>202516729
yes it is, life only gets harder the older you get, so even assessing a situation as "permanent" is being charitable, in actuality it's even worse than permanent

>>202516693
what are you getting? wish i lived near my favourite takeaway. would love to go there right now but its 115 miles away and im not driving 230 miles for a kebab and some chips

>>202516802
King Arthur didnt die for this

Super Mainoo Bros RPG

Rubber lipped Zulu Mainoo the Englishman

Me and Deegs will be reporting from the Labour Party Conference exclusively to /brit/ so. Keep an eye out for those updates

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Got him.

>>202516834
King Arthur wasn't real

>>202516802
>Mainoo is english
u wot? mainoo isnt an English name

>>202516819
I find the older you get the less you care.

>>202516832
Can't be that good takeaway then

>>202516832
>its 115 miles away and im not driving 230 miles for a kebab and some chips
You'd be driving 115 miles for the kebab and chips. You'd be driving the second 115 miles to come home, a completely separate desire

>>202516852
no

>>202516886
its a great takeaway and ill be there in a few weeks. ive got toil on the morrow early morning so a 6 hour drive is out of the question

>>202516902
230 mile round trip

>>202516852
no just no
t. deegs

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the gf

KFC but its pork made to taste like chicken so muslims dont touch it

Football used to be about local lads representing their area through the sport. Now it's about billionaire clubs owned by foreign investors importing mainly Africans and others that are paid hundreds of thousands every week to promote whatever message the powers that be want to push (eg. gay rights, black rights). Worst of all this, the footie mongs keep watching and supporting this through season tickets which costs thousands of pounds every year, because they can't live without it (despite how ridiculous it is now). Footie mongs are the worst. They are the most brainwashed sheep in this country. At least religious people worship something divine. Footie mongs idolise people kicking a ball around and justify footballer's insane wages for doing so. They are scum and represent everything wrong with modern society.

>>202516594
she got mental health like you?

>>202516861
The entire 1 mile radius around by house was getting blasted by thors farts

>>202516961
It's Sunday tomorrow

>>202516996
im aware. your point?

Rape him

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Want her to poo on me.

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>>202517039

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checkem

>>202516966
oof can we get a look at her ears?

>>202517054
its weird how guys know tummies are hot
girls like to show off their tummiesm
yet we all pretend that actually walkikng around with your tummy out is normal behaviour

>>202517054
Slip it in

>>202517014
Bit bloody weird to be working

>>202517054
Hey wait a second, Hermione wasn’t in house Slytheriir

>>202517098
She was in my favourite fanfic

>>202517085
He’s a priest

Nice my thread got used anyway

>>202517076
your a bit of a weird rapist freak diego

>>202517139
projec ton

>>202517138
hey dtfic

>>202517085
>>202517116
im a supermarket delivery driver. frozen peas be upon you, not peace.

>>202517159
What does that mean

>>202517076
you give off virgin vibes lol

>>202517179
desperate to fit in canadian

>>202517182
hs?

>>202517168
Good job that
I have a lot of respect for my tesco drivers

got /box/ mixed up with /brit/ ffs
posting my bumwank material there and it doesn't seem to have had a great reception

>>202517198
Projection

>>202516834
king arthur was a welsh chud who opposed immigration

>>202517204
dont know what that means

>>202517231
how so?

>>202517284
>>202517284
>>202517284

>>202517205
its ok. not tesco unfortunately. wish id applied with them. i much prefer shopping with tesco than asda

>>202517290
because its 3 characters and it doesnt spell anything

>>202517294
fuck off early twat

enjoy your dogshit yank early new lol

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>>202517322

>>202517018
it is done

Autumn knitted jumper acquired.