Fedora edition
>>202575165maybe this little known gem will help calm things downhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j58V2vC9EPc
hate when you look up a slang term from your area on urban dictionary and all the definitions are stupid yanks claiming the word refers to some kind of sex act or whatever
no more war aussie lads x
bro uses urban dictionary...
We came from a cosmic fart
>>202575190
Sending you forget me notshttps://youtu.be/jtMHsNhQBvI?si=UJlHptXs0ZHDVIQ9&t=143
haven't used my fleshlight in months, might as well throw it away
40 bucks a slab!You can't go wrong!I sink VB!All night long!
hello /brit/, God herei command you to tribute me by cumming in your favourite book of the bible
>>202575190chaosdeathautocracyteetotallers
>>202575177i am conflicted i am very autistic but a girl finds me attractive should i admit to it or it doesn’t matter
>>202575177
>>202575220wtf don't copy my filenames
>>202575216oh fuck
watch me swooce right in
>>202575219Girls think autism is cool, like the Good Doctor.
>>202575210bloody post-covid inflation has already rendered this song obsolete
>>202575203To clarify, "fleshlight" is Geelong slang for an air fryer
>>202575216how can you have chaos in an autocracy?
good morning gentlemenI hope we're all sucking teas and coffees before the day begins
shit yank posts ruining the thread again
>>202575230there's no way it survived that
>>202575238that's grouse as mate
>>202575239by pitting those below you against each other
>>202575239got him there
Been laughing at flat earth youtubers for days
If shit ever did kick off Russia would end up accidentally nuking themselves countless times.
dadberg is really autistic about how long people spend in the shower and will start aggresively knocking on the door if you've been in too long for his liking
>>202575260wherever you are is fat earth
>>202575236devastating news rippa
screaming lads just took mum and dad their morning brew and they told me about how catberg was awake in the night shouting the place down and then came hurtling into their bedroom to vomit on the new carpethow can one creature be so based
>>202575260you just don't have eyes to see it
i'm a reformed criminal lads (i used to drive drunk a lot but i don't anymore)
>>202575263Hope the right people have been paying off the Mossad hackers
>>202575281shame, 90% of drink drivers quit before they hit it big
>>202575264what's his upper limit? i'd say 10 minutes is reasonable, 5 minutes is a bit strict but fair enough, less than that and he's having a laugh
>>202575245You have never met a yank IRL and if you did you'd probably come on here to seethe about how friendly they were to you.
>>2025752935 minutes isn't fair how's a man meant to shampoo and condition in that time
wikipaedo meltdown
still tired but i need to get up in half an hour anyway
shampoo for my real friendsreal poo for my sham friends!
>>202575305pretty quickly i would imagine, as i said 5 minutes is a bit strict, you'd probably need more time if you have long hair
Reckon there's more yanks living in the UK than there are Aussies which is grim
Old enough to remember when the Government sent us all little suction cup sand timers to use in the shower(They didn't call it the Millennial drought for nothing)
>>2025752655/10, doesn’t really make sense.
>>202575320do you perhaps notice the US has a slightly larger population than Australia
>>202575320according to wikipedia there are about the same amount165k aussies in britain and 171k yanks
>how'th a man meant to thyampoo and condithion in that time
we are born in shit, we die in shit
>>202575298https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUxJdxv-COM
i wash my hair like once a month if that
on the bog doing my morning shite and it's extra grim today ladsconsistency not bad but it's very gassy, would probably be all floaters if I hadn't put a protective bog roll layer down to stop splashbackstrong aroma also can feel mumberg complaining about it in a bit
never met a yank living here
>>202575328idiot yank doesn't get it
>>202575326there was a massive drought in southeast queensland in about 2005-2006, they tried to get people to drink recycled water (aka filtered sewage) but we weren't having it
W-wait lads why did my flag change to yank?!*looks down*Huh? Why am I fat? N-no what's happening to me this can't be happe-ACK
a glimmer of hope for the UK
occasionally i catch myself thinking "hmm it hasn't rained in a while" so i check the weather report and will often see that rain is due in a day or two and i'm like "ahh noice"
shit yank post after shit yank post
might watch clarkson's farm
Waiting at toil for toil to begin. Feeling very warm and hot today.
Had a dream I was on holiday in Australia and I went to a tattoo shop wherein the lad doing tattoos asked me what I want, I told him, he then went away and did sketches for a bit and came back with a crude drawing of me taking a knob up the arseNeedless to say that was not what I asked for and when I got pissy he just laughed me out the doorCan't even pretend I'm a non virge in my dreams lads
>>202575357i've only met a few yanks here in my life and at least half of them turned out to be canadian
>>202575404blog on you boring bastard
I would wager that her flatuses (flati?) smell rather unpleasant.
>>202575403good luck hope you have a nice day EW
>>202575404honestly wouldn't be surprised if this exact thing has happened here before, we do love our banter
>>202575429Thanks mate, hope you have a nice day too
>>202575404Nightmare on Melaleuca Crescent
want to make my own all-aussie comedy show like chris lilley used to do before he got cancelled for doing blackface or whatever it was
>message girl on the apps an hour ago around 2pm>she mentions "I have plumbers here and it's noisy">exchange a few more messages >ask whether she feels like going out for a drink later in the evening>"I just told you I have my kitchen being ripped out as we speak, I just said that, didn't you read the message?"don't think I'll be following up on that one
fuck you sir
Thoughts?https://youtube.com/watch?v=MIEVoulYZM0
>>202575468puck*
>>202575474nah when he says it to peterson it's always the real f word
realised recently that i'm an extremely immature dickhead, it's a wonder i have any friends at all, maybe i should give them all the flick now that i realise that they're capable of liking someone as loathsome as me, seems like a red flag
>>202575525yeah?
Getting more and more convinced if you've done military service you should be banned from having a normal job. Whackos those military nigs.
american is the only nationality where if they move to another country, they still have to pay taxes to their home country as well as their host country (unless they renounce their yank citizenship)what utter utter bullshit that is
>>202575558doesn't finland have conscription? did you dodge your service?
>>202575576Isn’t that the case with most countries? If you emigrate from the US simply renounce your citizenship.
>>202575602>Isn’t that the case with most countries?no
>>202575602nope, no other country does that
>>202575606>>202575611no wonder other countries are poor and suffer massive brain drain US number 1 for a reason
laying about in my undies x
>>202575621your mum gives massive brain
the commission of suicide, and, in doing so, death
>>202575621i'd imagine most just renounce their citizenship, no one with a brain is going to pay taxes to two countries
I hereby renounce my WoW guild citizenship!
*points my thumb at this thread while facing the camera*have a look at these bloody pelicans
*Looks up "pelican" on urbandictionary*
*Looks up*
Fascinating how catberg is able to tell simply from mumberg's demeanor or something that it's almost time to go to the vet and starts making herself scarce
>>202575686was in a really fun wow guild full of lovely people back during wotlk but most of them just quit the game over the course of a few months until i was usually the only one online at any given time, very sad, probably the last time i had anything resembling a social circle
>>202575714how far down do you have to scroll until there's a definition saying it's some kind of sex act?
>>202575733literally the first two definitions
>>202575733Imagine, if you can, someone moving their arms above their head in imitation of a pelican lifting off
power hour starting up a bit early is it boys?
>sex actah, my favourite act in a play
>>202575754school holidays innit
i just know there's some nonce waiting to reply to all of us and say "snap" the moment a post appears that isn't an australian flag
pow-'er? I hardly know 'er!
>>202575727*yawns*
eating nigger shit
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
*nasal nerd voice*was in a really fun wow guild
>>202575784SNAP
you other bruces are all cunts, where's that really friendly lad who loves the pub gone? (henceforth referred to as publad)
right /brit/ is far too fast for this time in the morningcease and desist
>>202575808SNAP
>>202575808shhh shh don't fight it
The most interesting thing about the constant ‘is Rosie Jones funny’ discourse on here isn’t whether you find her funny or not, but it’s that you feel the need to even tell anyone. many unfunny comedians but wonder what it is about Rosie you keep feeling the need to make known
>>202575177my dad tries really hard to be cool and i can tell he is lying it really sucks because he constantly lies about how tough and badass he was
ogling nora fawn's bum and fanny region
Puke gradually becoming more and more common in JAV
Jimmy Carter's 100th birthday in 8 daysWE'RE ALMOST THERE
>>202575832first i'm hearing of this debate or this rosie jones character and i'm in /brit/ almost 24/7
got a mate who says he only watches solo and lesbian porn and fervently claims that anything with a man in it is gay, i think he's overcompensating
janny we need a cleanup in aisle /g/>>>/g/102514188
>>202575874it's only gay if you're looking at the man when you bust
watching straight porn is cucking yourself. you're literally watching another dude fuck a woman you want to bangthat's why i only watch gay porn
I must act as the balance to pub lad, with my low insults
>>20257589890s porn coming along to randomly switch to a closeup of the man's closed-eye sex face really suddenly with no warning right when you spaff
>>202575874>and fervently claims that anything with a man in it is gayyour mum's vagina is gay then is it?
hate GMBhate BBC breakfastthe quality of breakfast television in this country is as poor as its ever been
>>202575927the point is you're imagining yourself as the man, not sure why some people seem to struggle with thisthere's also an element of getting off on a woman degrading herself
ayo brits be like "oh hello there, good morning, lovely day isn't it?" lmao
>>202575951https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxKlUfFAlKo
>>202575177god i wish i had some of your guys parents mine are abusive and toxic
>>202575962>lovely day isn't it?to be fair they can only say that about 10 days of the year
well said divery fun how she completely outplayed and embarrassed starmer into allowing her to stand and then spends all day every day criticising the governmentvery based of her
always thought tartare sauce had fish in it because it's usually paired with fish but apparently it doesn'tgoing to start putting it on my schnitzels now
>>202576007he was proper kind and polite to her when parliament opened and all given she's the mumberg of the houseand then she queefs in his face
>>202576010pair sauerkraut with your schnitzelthank me later
>>202576024Fuck off Hitler
pitch black outsidethis is life now for the foreseeabledark when i go to workdark when i come homea life without sunlight
love, in a sense, is evilto put one something above all others
>>202576024i'll give it a try, i usually like something vinegary with my schnitzels
>>202576038reads exactly like the kind of pretentious shit poem I would've scribbled out at 20 and posted on /lit/ for review
>>20257605134 years old myself
>>202576038just quit your job and become a dosser like me then
>>202576085our "job" is to experience suffering and find meaning in thatperhaps you are the one...who has quit
>>202576085need to pay for things though
>>202576093i'm probably suffering more than the toil freaks honestly, being a neet is fun for a few months and then it's basically hell
>>202576104oh you're about to "pay" alright, you little wormyou buzzardyou troglodytic slug
my dad is kind of a asshole and it pisses me off because he is a spoiled narcissistic asshole. he tried to fight me again but he is too much of a pussy to do anything
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1727068210961489.webm
>>202576076>>202576094I hate 4chan. Indian hate is out of control. They never have normal conversation with me.
never experienced young love, it's over, might as well kill myself now
>>202576197good morning sir
>>202576197fuck you bloody
>>202576169blog on
>>202576197sorry to break it to you lad but that's because indians are loathsome despicable creatures with no redeeming qualities, your best bet is to become a gymcel if you want a chance at shagging
My children will be 1/4 jewish and 1/2 northern indian. God wills it.
>>202576197saaar
wearing my rain coat todayit's raining you see
not planning on having kids because the gf doesn't want them and neither do i really, but if she gets baby fever in her 30s or something i'll probably go along with itfor now, she's satisfied with her work as a pastry chef and her pet eel
>>202576218>>202576228>>202576281Just know all this taunting and shit will come back to haunt you.
>>202576238i mean we all have gotten into a fight with our parents
haven't toiled in over a year and a half
Forgot to put my perfume on this morningBet I smell like a gross human
It's not even been a couple of months since Black and Brown people were too afraid to leave our homes because of race riots and we're all supposed to just move on and forget it ever happened and not talk about it?
>>202576313>>202576345>>202576359190 fuck off and neck yourself already.
>>202576313hahaha old mate's gone to heaven x
Actual euros who hate Russia dont post in /brit/ because they hate Britain just as much if not more.Remember that.You are a fucking idiot, kill yourself.
those drones they use in wars these days are fucking silly, someone should update the geneva convention to put them on the naughty list with chemical weapons and so forth
big fan of socks with lots of padding at the heel and toe
>>202576313pretty sure he was wounded and this is literally a war crime
having some non vegetable for breakfast
>>202576454seems completely redundant they are still leaving tracks
>>202576460oman that's crazy
>>202576456Kill yourself. Kill yourself.I cant stress this enough, you need to kill yourself
Hello
>>202576501g'day lachie
anime
>>202576429too late. The cat is out of the bag and armies would rather have drones fighting drones. Fun fact, aerial bombing was made illegal in the Hague Conventions of 1899 and 1907 (ratified by Great Britain and the USA). The Italians did it anyway, in their war against the Ottomans in Libya, with a Lieutenant Gavotti throwing grenades over the side of his plane, and the rest as they say is history.
>>202576528anime actually fucking sucksamericans are so cultureless
>>202576557pint please
>>202576537not every country can produce such quality, enjoyable entertainment as the UKentertainment like uh................
>>202576557Sex please. Haha
love gta 4 but wonder why they made niko's nose so huge and bulbous
ima firin mah lazer
>>202576703Some people have big noses
>>202576719Lazor
>>202576732yeah but not that big, it doesn't look that big in concept art, ingame he's actually quite an ugly man because of his nose
Carol Kirkwood tucking me into bed then wanking me to sleep
Looking at escort ads again lads. Might have a cheeky Wednesday shag.
very weird that rockstar games randomly made a table tennis game once
is india actually a shithole or do youtubers just cherry pick the bad parts?
>>202576814nice to see you here again lach, haven't seen you in a while, thought you killed yourself
>>202576822Go and find out yourself
>>202576822India is one of the largest and most diverse countries in the world
leftypol embarassed by the 'toss yet again
Is it normal for big companies to give shit wage increases?The company I work for gave a 2.5% increase this year, despite being 10x the size of my last company, which gave a 5% rise last year.
>>202576830Thanks. I stopped coming on this site, and no I didn't move over to reddit.
Dire
>>202576856This is a cartoon not a photo collage
LIVERPOOL
>>202576858take it up with the CFO sunshine
>>202576895Growth above all else is objectively bad
>>202576878She looks like the shitgibbon
my life is unfathomably shitty
>>202576925I only report racism and spamming
literally what brings salary posters to generals like theseit can't be the creativity otherwise they wouldn't be splurging out boring blog postsit's got to be a complex or something
thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fef0Eg6Q-I
>>202576946And off topic on sp for all the good that does
>I only report racism and spamming
28k man myselfReckon that's enough for anyone
i was made for loving you babyyou were made for loving me
Pyjamas wet through from where I've been sweatingBecause I didn't piss myself I'm 95% sure
>>202576996Why are you so sweaty sweatylad?
they're everywhere
welcome to burger shot mofuckerrrrr
want to buy some new vidya games but not in any big rush
>>202577004Bit hot weren't it
>>202577006Did you know that most books are bought in airports?
might get a job as a postman, want to rip around on one of those bikes
>>202577023NahHighly autumnal
The minimum wage has increased something like 41% in the past 6 years.Back then 24k would've been an alright salaryNow? It's literally minimum wage. Also have you noticed how jobs are being compressed into that band?
bro actually sees racism and goes oh my gosh, is it? yes it is! I better inform the moderators about this rule breaking scoundrel!
>>202576868How come you're alright with prostitutes laughing about your cock but not nurses
>>202577020keep buying games and then playing them for like maybe half an hour and then never touching them again, but i lie to myself and say i'll get around to finishing them someday, makes me feel well guilty
>>202577086prostitutes probably see so many knobs in any given week that they don't even remember his
mumberg very quiet last night at tea and now I can hear her sobbing away in the shower.
>>202577075Most jobs are useless and GDP is driven by creativity which is paradoxical because it's hard to earn a living through creative hobbies or interests. So you end up in a situation where we are now where things are stagnating and it's created an entire timeline of decline
>>202577109sorry to hear that lad, for me there's pretty much nothing more upsetting than when my mum starts crying
nurses were extremely unprofessional if they really were laughing at him
Just counted 40 posts in a row without a single Brit. Very worrying.
>>202577099nor would i, i don't think i've ever reported a post for racism in my entire 4chan career and i've been here every day since about 2011
Love using my bidet; but it's noisy, makes me do loud watery farts afterwards, and the shared bathroom wall with the neighbours is VERY thin so it feels almost rude to use it
>>202577112Give an example of a "useless job", aka one providing no value
>>202577112>GDP is driven by creativityBollocks
>>202577151point went right over your head
>flying home from Japan>all the Qantas employees are Indian retards that can't speak a coherent word of English>taxi driver is another Indian retard that speaks even less Englishmight actually be over for real this time lads
>>202577171
>>202577140a lot of them really are fucking stupid vindictive cows with nothing better to do, at least psych ward nurses arewhen i was in the psych ward, one of them tried to say i was sexually harassing her because i looked at her for like 5 seconds, the bitch was in her 40s and not very attractive, she fucking wishes
>>202577171Mine aha *does a little gay porn snooze on the clock*
the steamed sausages >>202577065who is buying them all?
>>202577171Most white collar workers are useless and don't provide any growth or even value.Service workers and minimum wage workers inhibit GDP growth.Read 'bullshit jobs'>>202577176Do you understand what capitalism is because I'm not detailing it here got to leave in a bit
>>202577200Micro-brain post
>>202577224rattled bullshit job haver
>>202577199sick of it
>>202577222Explain why a business would hire a worker that provides no value If this were truly the case, all businesses with fire those workers
can't imagine anything more mentally cucked than wanting to "earn" your moneyevery man should aspire to be a landlord
sexu arsu
>>202577247Would fire*
>>202577150Where?
this is what my life has been like today, got hangover horniness
>>202577247No
just surreptitiously googled Qantas because I couldn't believe an Australian airline sounds like a soda brandapparently it's just an acronym sounded out. weird
You're being productive by having a white collar job and in no way does that create more jobsDo I have to spell it out to you NTs
going to buy an investment property in an Indian dominated areadidn't ask for them in the first place so may as well exploit them
had a problem with my browser earlier where it was showing that blinking text cursor that you get in writing fields on random bits of the page, accidentally activated it by pressing F7 at some point, it was driving me crazy because i couldn't scroll on pages by pressing the arrow keysbe advised lads, easy mistake to make
>>202577222Mong
>>202577365How so?
that storm in the night baka
The UK is in a productivity rut and it amazes me that employers across the spectrum don't seem to know how to incentivise people. Nobody gives a shit about the team bonding sessions, free fruit, the crappy perk they pretend is private healthcare, the company points you can earn and spend etc etc. We want cold hard cash.
>>202577382Scared I've got one
>>202577247Real answer is the economy and purchasing power for people See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lDTdLQnSQoCovid is the proof you need to know most jobs aren't actually needed
Hit them with the classic "How So?" and watch as your opponent goes weak in the knees. A dizzy spin
>>202577386anyone who isn't a retard or making 250k in London is leaving the UK
>>202577254Freak
>>202577416the diego special
>>202577406>Covid is the proof you need to know most jobs aren't actually neededNot really since shutting down the economy caused it to shrink by 20%
>>202577430t. aspiring social worker
>>202577449That was because the efficiency of the 'real' jobs were slowed down by all the sudden restrictionsthe government laid out what was and wasnt a bullshit job during the pandemic. you're either essential or not. simple asand watch the video. it's actually a decent one for the subject matter
>>202577480Nah
tried playing resident evil 2 remake, set it to the hardest difficulty, died to the first zombie twice in a row, decided to pack it in and go to sleep
Salaries for semi skilled and graduate jobs are now basically the same as minimum wage (23-25k).
ok now find a partner for this next task
poo haha
>>202577513All workers are essential, otherwise capitalists wouldn't hire them.
Some good advice for you lads
made how alcohol + benzos exponentially increase the likelihood of engaging in reckless/illegal behaviourthe spice of life really
>>202577525Yeah those REmake games are pretty unreasonably difficult on hard mode. I played the hell out of all of them but never cleared any of them on hard. Would defo recommend you knock it down to normal.
>>202577606is mario 64 one of those games where they drop an anvil on your head if you go idle for too long? a lot of old games did that as i recall, i always thought it was cunty
>>202577620did this for my flight yesterday just made feel really sick and anxious for an entire day
>>202577633i only picked the hardest difficulty because it was the only one where you had limited typewriter ribbons, i wanted an authentic rezzy experience dammit
>>202577650why'd you do that then? are you scared of flying?
>>202577200>I analyze sales>I cultivate automation>I create recordkeepers>I coordinate and facilitate the capture and securing of aquatic life for various purposes and vendorsit's all a matter of perspective
Do people in salaried roles work longer than their contracted hours?
>>202577682just to get me to sleep and get rid of any low level background anxietyusually it works but not this time wahey
>>202577200a bet a lot of those fisherman are fucking raking it in, the amount of money you can sell king crabs for alone must've made a lot of them rich
>>202577656If you're on PC maybe check to see if someone has modded that in for normal mode. Resi 2 Remake has a ton of mods, most of them for Claire's brapper.
>>202577700my dad used to work 10-12 hour days sometimes 7 days a weeknow he seethes that I work from home and do an hour a week
jews
you know you're a gamer when you instinctively pick the hardest setting of the game you're playing
the watch:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSiyzoHDDYw
I am unemployed
had a commission only job once and i was never more motivated to toil at the top of my game in my life
>>202577828Same ;_;
wish job coachberg would just get me a comfy wfh gig in the public sector which involves me doing no work
>>202577828same, job coach is on my back trying to make me get jobs that i'm humiliatingly old for like fast food and stuffwouldn't mind working in retail again, will do my utmost to avoid working at mcdonalds though
>>202577267literally this thread you fucking IDIOT
>>202577843>>202577857Had a coach who did encourage me to apply for civil service roles and I did actually get an interview for one but didn't get it.Then I was transferred to a different coach and she was much worse, had me applying to the usual shite like wiping bums in care homes or min-wage rubbish.
>>202577890very nearly got a job in a care home but ultimately i didn't get it because those sorts of jobs require the vaxx and i'm not a vaxxie
Just had some mid 20's nigga with no work experience come in to my office and get surprised when I told him he had to start out with min-wage shit
>>202577876We don't give a shit in /cum/ if other flags comment, y'all need to stop being obnoxious snobs.
HR departments need to be culled.Interviews with more than one stage have to be culled.
>>202577916Quite a good excuse, that. May use it in future myself (even though I am vaccinated and triple boosted myself).
CORR
>>202577927mate you could have a PhD and 10 years in industry down on the CV and the job coach would have you applying to scrub toiletstheir job is to get you off the books
curious how the conversation went from bullshit jobs to job coaches
Premier league here we come.
been awake since 8pm yesterday
>>202577997a lot of people in /brit/ are long-term unemployed (at least i hope they are so i feel less alone)
mad how leftypol went from being all like "REEE you can't just hate someone because of where they're from" to rabidly hating russians within like a month
I sometimes think I've fluked into my job ladsAfter uni, I was a NEET for months. Eventually signed up with a job agency, and the first place they sent me took me on full time. I've worked my way up to being on 30k now.
>>202577935this isn't /cum/, fuck off.
i'm 29 and i've never been properly employed (odd jobs but never a proper salaried role)
mama mia pizzeria >>202577935biggest lie ever told on this website. kill yourself
Might run around the world really fast and go back in time
no point arguing with /cum/ niggas while fat exists because of how evil they are that being said i did post "some people just want to spread hate" - and if i came here to FOY at them then itd be exactly what fat wants. but dont you say that /cum/ dont "give a shit" when other flags post
umm hello?? new??
>>202578141>>202578141>>202578141
>>202578137no need for all that tobes
