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If you could domesticate a wild animal as your battle buddy, what animal would you choose?

I'd go with pic related, because honey badger don't give a fuck. Also aesthetic/10 and convenient size, and feeds itself on pests.
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In my village a man killed a wild boar and kidnapped it's piglet. He raised him like normal pet but pig got too big and since he didnt have sex the big also got angry and broke out of the cage and started rampaging all over village

1 man died bc pig killed him
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>>35452367
This village sounds amazing
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>>35452397
It probably has one of those "Days since last horny boar fatality" counters in the village square that they had to reset to zero.
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>>35452367
>pig got too big and since he didnt have sex the big also got angry and started rampaging all over village

fuggg . .
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>>35452411
When boar plague was new many hunters were paid to kill wild boars to keep them from spread deasease. To proof that u killed boar u had to cut off its balls and take it to village elder who gave it to goverment official and gave money. Sometimes boar wasnt dead and cutting off balls made it angery and it attacked
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>>35452367
That is my neighbor Nursultan Tuliagby. He is pain in my assholes. One day his horny pet Jew break out and kill my village best mushroom picker
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Objectively the best choice
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>>35452463
Is that a Clever Girl?
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>>35452463
>best attack animal
>essentially a big chicken
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>>35452367
Obviously he should have manually made sure the boar had his release. Either with his hands or mouth. Work the shaft.
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>>35452446
Where is your village
It sounds beautiful
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>>35452470
No, it's Rexy's older Texan cousin
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Racoon because they look like little burglars
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>>35452476
Pig penis is very weird I have seen
>>35452484
It is in the north eastern part of my country and it is very ugly actually
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>>35452473
Wot was that m80?
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>>35452504
Wat country tho
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>>35452512
I am not saying
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>>35452463
Good luck finding 100kg of steak a day to feed your buddy.
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>>35452521
What does it rhyme with
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>>35452327
>If you could domesticate a wild animal as your battle buddy, what animal would you choose?
Wolves
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>>35452534
Shouldn't be that hard. The city is always talking about revitalizing downtown.
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>>35452546
pexico
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>>35452546
Ure mum gay

This my village road very nice yes
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>>35452327
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>>35452367
a case example for adding country flags to /k/, sounds like one of my Romanian friend's stories.
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>>35452367
Please tell us more stories from your village
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>>35452627
Not Romania but here my friend when he drank too much
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>>35452637
My baby sitter was old woman who once gave my friend very strong pills to calm him down when he was baby now my friend is 30 and is retard

I selled him my car for "ten hundreds" bc I said it was less then thousand. He is very retard
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>>35452735
more.
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>>35452327
I'd choose this little lad
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>>35452433
rapefugees explained
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>>35452735
Moar stories from village and retard friend. Who is the village rapist?
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>>35453142
>village rapist
oh boy here we go
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>>35452327

I'll take a wolf. I'm assuming their behavior is similar enough to dogs that I can figure my way around them.
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>>35452327
Funny you should mention that, down here in South Africa I was reading a book about a museum curator back in the day, he kept a honey badger or ratel as a pet, a female one, it was sweet enough, might end up fighting dogs, burrowed a hole through a brick wall, and killed two bats in a cage. Also another book said that in the past, hyena pups were domesticated, and were mostly fine spare for the howling/ cackling at night.
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>>35452327
>8th grade memes
Oh how I miss them
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Easy Choice

Wolverine all the way
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>Find pic related's son
>train him to communicate
>train him to hate, like human's do
>help him usurp daddy chimp's kingdom
>set up trading deals with my chimpy companion, favoring me
>when he doesn't want to give me good deals, I help out the conquered apes to cause trouble in the kingdom, convince his females to not use sticks and rocks to fight
>I am the chimp jew
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>>35452883

skunk best defense animal
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>>35452617
Came here to post this.
>he can protect you
>you can ride him
>he can keep you warm at night
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>>35452473
You ever seen what a chicken will do if it catches a mouse or a lizard? They can be vicious little birds even if they're small in size.
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>>35454322
Wolverine are more playful than previously thought and compare unfavorably with Ratels for the "Don't give a fuuuuuuck...." quotient.
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>>35452572
Damn I'm stumped.
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This guy
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A hive of Africanized honey bee's
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>>35455861
>A hive of Africanized honey bee's
>bestpossiblebattlebuddy.jpeg
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>5m long rhino
Can they be extinct?
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>>35456050
>>
Africanized honey bees are the best option mainly because they're lethal, small, and they can swarm

>you'reargumentisinvalid.gif
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>>35456188

Op did say a wild animal, not animals. I wonder if this counts.
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>wicker basket full of trained spitting cobras

Get them to spit venom but to aim for the turban
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Objectively the best
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A wolverine. Those fuckers are vicious af, like the Canadian honey badger but bigger
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I'll just divide this into three categories if the bee's don't count.

Avian: Harpy Eagle
Land:Leopard
Sea: Blue Ringed Octopus: OR: An Orca.
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>>35452433
I always go on murderous rampages
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>>35452476
yeah what a pansy
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>>35456459
Nice BioDrone, brah
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>>35454484
>I am the chimp jew
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Gonna go far cry primal on you faggots
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>>35452327
Kaprosuchus, no question. It'll basically be an armored and deadlier version of a German Shepherd.
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>>35452463
allosaurus?
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>>35452367

Sleep tight bacon.
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>>35452735

Is this village in Kazakhstan by any chance?
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>>35452367
You from New Jersey?
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>>35459422
>>35458966
No
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>>35452327
A Lion
>>
grey wolf or a raven
pretty sure I dont need to list reasons why
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>>35452367
Moldova?
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>>35454500
Getting skunked is honestly pretty bad. Makes your throat close up and you can't open your eyes. It's akin to getting pepper sprayed but honestly I'd rather take the OC spray.
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>>35452578
>he's probably Russian
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>>35452735
>>
Peregrine falcon that I'd use as an organic drone. Train that fuck to signal enemy positions somehow.
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I choose the most dangerous animal: Man.
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>>35462281
get the gimp
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>>35452327
800lb. Siberian tiger covered in graphite armor. With titanium claw extensions and titanium teeth. Also has a speaker on his back that plays "here I am, rock you like a hurricane"

Or an armored elephant with a pagoda on his back that I sit in and gaff people with a long pike staff from.
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>>35452473
A chicken, huh? OK, try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot chicken" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this... A six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here, or here...Or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is, you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know, try to show a little respect
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easy. kamchatka brown bears are strong as fuck, rideable, have strong skin that can even resist small bullets, and can tear shit to fucking shreds.

runner up is africanized bee or wasp hive, because hard to hit and hurt like hell.
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>>35462117
If that was possible (or cost effective) it would've already been done.

Maybe you could put some cameras on it? They'd have to be awful small though.
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>ctrl-f: Cougar
>0 results
C'mon lads
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>>35452617
The only real choice imho.
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>>35452463
Agreed.
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>>35454322
Same, even bears afraid of them
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>>35452327

You think you could make a Franklinator with a honey badger?
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>>35452367
Did they kill it with a sink?
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>>35458899
Just get a Belgian malinios, they’re basically the same animal just less scaly
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>>35463344
nigger just because YOU can't train falcons doesn't mean it can't be done
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Do you count prehistoric animals?
If so, short faced bear would be nice

>2,000 pounds
>6 feet tall when on all fours and 12 feet on hind legs
>Can run at 30-40 mph
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>>35466633
>>
>>35452327

yer mum
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>>35452683
Zoom and enhance on that beer can. Fellas we're on the case
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Hummingbird because it's fast and would confuse my enemies
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>>35458932
The sail on the back makes me think acrocanthasaurus
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>>35452327
>scan through thread
>no mention of Corporal Wojtek
is this /k ?
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Liopleurodon. Perfect for coastal and open ocean operating. We'd hunt rapefugee boats all day
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>>35469890
It would be able to carry human and gear no problem.
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>>35465365
I was thinking of posting it, but then people would just think of the guy who fingers his mountain lion.
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>>35452327
Hornets. Probably the East Asian Giant Hornet. They're dangerous, and efficient and SCARY. Efficient lke worms. Scary like spiders.

"Bullets don't do anything! Bullets!!"

Seriously, if I had just a few tonnes of domesticated giant hornets, I could wreck some serious, serious havoc. And just a quarter the cost of an F-18 worth of east asian hornets would be very nasty.
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Navy CATS
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accept no substitute
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>>35467849
is that bottom right one porn for your falcon? why would falcons like human tits?
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>>35452327
Some kind of smaller "big cat", Leopard, panther etc.
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This fucker right here.

I will have a home security system installed with surveillance in every room, but instead of an alarm going off when an intrusion is detected, it will just start playing the Jaws theme.

Dundun Dundun Dundun

As the urban market makes its way from room to room, their nervousness will increase, never knowing I am watching the whole time, waiting for them to step on to one of the many strategically placed drop hatches, dumping them down into the underground pool I built where my loyal guardian is awaiting his meal.
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>>35470859
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>>35452327
An orangutan. I'd teach him CQC and he'd be unstoppable against the average human. Then I'd just need a smart guy with Coke bottle glasses, a twitchy guy who likes explosives, and a fat guy who is also a pilot for my crack merc team.
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>>35470429
Pic related. God. DAMN.

>>35471086
Would you name him Clyde?
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>>35471086
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Female hyena
>something something pseudo penis
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>>35471115
By default, all chimps are named Clyde
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>>35452327
mullet / 10
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shaved war bear.




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