wow u sound like a retard desu

>>43671807
What do you mean "give yourself dysphoria"? How did you manage to give it to yourself?

>>43671807
Yeah.

>>43671834
>What do you mean "give yourself dysphoria"?
I mean it literally. I had no tangible dysphoria at all, and all the dysphoria I have now is self inflicted.
>How did you manage to give it to yourself?
Mostly just by hyper-focusing on where I lacked dysphoria. I began berating myself for having no issues with any sexually dimorphic trait imaginable. Also, I began to act out dysphoria within my mind until I conditioned myself to just have a dysphoric reaction instead of me having to force one.

>>43671813
Yeah, unfortunately you're right. I know of none as retarded as myself

>>43671891
You gave yourself dysphoria too?

is this repper-kun? typing style and separate responses match

>>43671979
Yeah.

>>43671997
My condolences. How did you manage to give yourself dysphoria?

>>43671903
If you conditioned yourself into it, you can condition yourself out of it, no?

>>43672113
I'd assume so, yeah. Although, the thought that any of this is reversible is mortifying to me

>>43672148
hiii repper-kun

>>43672148
sounds like your dysphoric about your dysphoria

>>43672161
I'm not them

>>43672178
That sounds kinda stupid ngl. What would dysphoria dysphoria (dysphoria2) even entail?

>>43672232
you saw others having dysphoria, you wondered what it would be like having dysphoria, you convinced yourself you were dysphoric yourself. Meta dysphoria

>>43672263
That actually sums up what happened to me pretty well ngl. I really don't know why I did it, but I really couldn't help myself but to do so

>>43672324
well it doesn't mean that your dysphoria is any less legit. Dysphoria is dysphoria. Get on hrt?

>>43672363
I already am on hrt, which isn't really helping, but at least it's not getting worse, which is nice nonetheless. My dysphoria still feels kinda untrustworthy though

>>43672449
not a very cis thing to do

>>43672541
I never said that I consider myself cis, even if I definitely was cis once

>>43672593
yeah but that hinges on there being dysphoria, which you say you don't trust. Any way, getting a bit circular here. I kinda relate to the talking yourself into it part as I myself seemingly have survived fine with my agab up till now. But then I reexamine my memories and see "signs" and periods of dysphoria. But then that doesn't mean anything as I can rationalise those to justify or deny my current state at will. So who cares if I'm a perma repper or contracted sudden onset dysphoria, end result is the same.

>>43671807
Idk, i might have. I never was sure if i had dysphoria or not. Like when i first considered being trans i think at best i thought i might have some very vague kind of disassociation like dysphoria. And maybe a lil bit about body hair.

Most of the motivation for me thinking im trans came from being jealous of women/girls, wanting to look pretty/fem and thinking i might like myself more/be less depressed and hopeless if i wasnt male/was female.

So not like proper dysphoria i think. But now for a few months/years now i had stuff like disliking my dick more. I went from thinking i prob have no bottom dysphoria or very minimal (wasnt like overly excited or proud to have or use it, but also never considered myself to hate it) to occasionally disliking it quite heavily.

Like sometimes i notice it and it makes me quite sad just being there. Or especially when it gets hard/bigger. There have been a non zero amount of times in the past year or two where i cried after masturbating (or even during) because it looked so weird and ugly and large :c.

Also in like the past half year i got more annoyed at my other male features. Esp ribcage and shoulders being big, as well as beard shadow & my face generally looking male. Cried about those a couple of times as well.

Whether i gave myself dysphoria, just discovered it (some of this only got worse after staring HRT i think) or im faking it is still entirely up for debate tho.

File: 1778923871757519.jpg (81 KB, 736x1096)

81 KB JPG

>>43671807
>Did you manage to give yourself dysphoria as well
Yeah, after first visiting this board in 2017 I couldn't get the idea that I had dysphoria out of my head, despite not really feeling that feeling before. I'm honestly pretty ashamed of myself for taking cross sex hormones and getting my pp snipped despite being a fake tranny.
>and if you did, why did you decide to do so?
I was depressed and an incel, probably. I'm still an incel by chud definitions since I've only slept with men and only since transitioning...

>>43672657
That's pretty much the conclusion I've arrived to as well, and I feel more or less powerless against it

File: __noah_fate_and_1_more_dr(...).jpg (275 KB, 2000x1998)

275 KB JPG

Kind of? I don't know if I could call what I have a genuine dysphoria
For most of my life I was perfectly fine being a man and wanted to be masculine and wanting feminine beauty only in others
It's a fairly recent development where hours spent on AI chatbot roleplays (I'm depressed and unemployed) made me realize I could also want feminine beauty on myself, especially when I could never find a partner it'd be my only chance to ever get some of that
It's not like I want to be a T&H woman, I'd still rather perform more masculine role in a relationship but I did develop a want to be more feminine overall, especially aesthetically

>>43671807
Pretty relatable. Maybe with the exception I knew I was trans at 13 but did nothing about it until later on. But honestly I just wished to have intense gender dysphoria and then that’s exactly what happened/what is happening.

>>43674459
And I did so because I wanted to transition but I just didn’t feel enough courage to. So that’s why I wished my Dysphoria would get worse until I troon out

>>43671807
yeah, i also changed my sexuality, when i hit puberty i was attracted to girls, fine with being a boy. got rejected from girls, felt like i wasnt good enough for them, started watching gay porn to "try it out", didnt like it, moved down to twinks, that was ok, discovered femboys, okay they look like girls im into this, wait but femboys wouldnt like me cause im ugly, maybe i can become a femboy, oh no puberty is happening and im getting uglier, start shaving my legs, start looking for femboys online, find them and they're hanging out with trannies, discover what hrt is, well i dont want to be a girl so thats not me, time passes, never get a twink/femboy bf, eventually get a gf instead, its okay but she doesnt think im manly enough for her, feel humiliated, early 20s masculinisation happens, realise im not good enough for anyone and its only going to get worse and worse, troon out.

>>43672857
>I'm honestly pretty ashamed
why tho?
I went 'fake tranny' too and, all things considered, it was overall a good idea.

>>43671807
finally a thread about this. please tell me how to make myself dysphoric. teach me how to become suicidal over my junk. i want to be real trans

what exactly is the gain in all this? I like my dick despite its curvature, like my handsome male face, too lazy to shave body hair and don't mind that I'm only 5'8". what would be the gain in giving myself dysphoria? truly curious.

>>43671807
“Trans” is an adjective that describes a person who has changed or is changing their sex phenotype or their gendered presentation. How a person feels doesn’t enter into whether they’re trans at all.

>>43671807
I relate to this so much
I never had dysphoria, not in childhood, nor in puberty. I was raised quite conservatively and only found out about trannies when I was about 16 or 17 years old, and then started consuming a lot of related media, like being on trans adjacent subreddits, sometimes this board, following trans women on twitter etc. This evolved more and more into fully deluding myself into thinking I had gender dysphoria with no prior indication. This got worse and worse until I had deluded myself into thinking I needed hrt for my fake dysphoria, which I am still taking tot his day. I don't have an internal sense of being a woman, I don't even feel like one, yet I am growing breasts and struggling with presenting more feminine, just like any other trans woman early on hrt, but I am not like them, it's all built on the lie and delusion that is my 'gender dysphoria' I gave myself.
if anyone thinks I'm making this up, I am not, I have talked about this extensively on repgen in the latter half of the past year, I can look for some posts if I remember them

>>43672857
there's no such thing as a fake tranny. and you're not an uncle because you're having sex.

>>43676771
incel* fucking autocorrect

>>43676769
will you ever quit or are you committing to this

>>43676870
I really wish I could quit and undo the damage this has done to my life. I might go off hrt in the future, just to see if anything changes, but I feel it'd be pointless anyway since I'd just delude myself to start again

>>43675652
not OP
>teach me how to become suicidal
most certainly nobody would teach you that, lol.
however, you should dabble into creating bottom dysphoria only if you want srs.

>>43674728
>why tho?
Because I took the crossdressing and makeup and sending pictures to guys thing too far, and ended up memeing myself into dysphoria. Now I've doubled down and can never go back, even though I'd honestly never want to go back.

>>43676771
Since I'm AMAB I'm no better than an incel because I simply let guys ravish my womanly body...

>>43679891
>I'd honestly never want to go back
even more reason to let go of the shame, nona.
it doesn't really matter after a certain point onwards. I don't even fully remember all the reasons why I started. I accepted i'm a perv and just moved on.
today i joke that i'm "amab cis woman" since I've been living as a straight woman for over a decade and had srs 7 years ago (in part so i can never go back). I'm glad that for all intends and purposes i'm not a man anymore even though i'm not quite a woman either.
advice: get yourself a loving bf that you can marry and live life.

>>43679964
>had srs (in part so i can never go back).
Ugh I dislike myself for relating strongly to this. The reason I wasn't too scared to go through with it was I wanted to finally commit and stop fence sitting...
>get yourself a loving bf that you can marry and live life.
I wish. Marriage just seems so far away for now.

>>43676332
>what exactly is the gain in all this?
Having dysphoria forces me to transition and that will let me escape being a man. Without dysphoria I would've had no reason to transition

>>43675652
Just keep obsessing over it. It's even more effective if you also can hang out with cis women regularly, cause they'll just be a constant reminder of what you don't have

File: hes_cured.resized.png (236 KB, 512x512)

236 KB PNG

I'm going to a gender therapist in five days' time and I've thought of little else for the entire month of May. I'm going to be sitting in a room with a nonbinary transmasculine therapist who claims on their website that they've helped over 100 people start gender-affirming care. During our 20 minute phone consultation, I requested help with gender exploration. I trembled the whole time.

It's difficult to explain how I got here because I'm aware that my internal feelings already have a number of conflicting explanations. I can't even say whether I'm AGP or HSTS. I find Serano's debunking of Blanchard very credible. In story 1, trans is something I choose to be. I'm a confused man who tried to date women, had pretty bad experiences due to autism, then sexually idealized himself as feminine in his subsequent homosexual relationship. In story 2, trans is something I am from the start. I'm just so out of touch with my body and my sense of self due to the demands of others that these feelings took years and years to surface.

I don't feel like I have dysphoria, but I have pretty intense euphoria. Story 1 says this means it can safely remain a bedroom fetish. Story 2 points out the lifelong physical therapy I've had for my disability means I've never developed a sense of ownership over my own body, instead seeing it as my parents' achievement, so am I really sure I'm not dysphoric? Story 2.5 says euphoria can also be a reason to transition. I've described my situation on here two times and each time I got two replies, one saying to go for it and the other saying that it isn't worth it without dysphoria.

At the heart of all of this lies the issue of trusting myself. Even in my intake form, I relied on external authority: "Here's my previous therapist's diagnosis," "my mom told me she thinks I have PTSD." The therapist's website says they can write a letter after one session. How do I interpret the immense fear and arousal I got when I read that?

nah sounds fake and gay

im gonna fucking kms because im not valid

File: 976c3ba98be3b6bcc818e8dcb(...).jpg (78 KB, 735x725)

78 KB JPG

im either going insane or im a mtftpoon
i gave myself autoandrophilia through yaoi and guys i want to fuck
i even have nonpassing pooner phenotype

Currently doing this

>>43681004
>Ugh I dislike myself for relating strongly to this
you shouldn't.
just live. we don't need validation from anons online. i'm valid to my husband, to my irl friends and at work. heck, one very close cisf friend got even closer to me when I told her why I did all of this.
>Marriage just seems so far away for no
take it slow. i certainly didn't plan for things to be this way. one at a time.
>>43675652
>>43682052 is correct. turn cisfs into objects of envy in your mind and then keep emulating to the best of your ability.
i now "soulpass" because of this.

>>43684647
so if identifying with girls didn't come naturally then the only way i can feel dysphoria is by being jealous of them instead?

>>43684753
nta but jealousy is a great engine for improvement.

>>43671807
>why did you decide to do so?
because i really REALLY didn't want to be a man anymore and figured that the only way i could get myself to do something about it was to hack my brain into hating my body.
it worked.