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ITT: broken links, (embed), clop with just a dollop of drama, reviews of reviews, some fic with Twilight having sex in a spaceship and trigonometry, actual reviews, turning into a pony IRL, giving out your personal information, riffs, shitting on LessWrong, trying to avoid summoning a certain entity from our past, the continued misadventures of whatever the fuck AAG is actually about, Jello, finding old stories, arguing about webcomics, drinking, displaced fics that are somehow even worse than normal, >buying ebooks, paying for magic on the internet, medical misadventures, stories with horses in them

>FiMFiction Starter Kit (recommended fics):
Winners:
http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png
List of nominees by category:
http://mlp-fanfics.herokuapp.com/

>How do I write fanfiction?
Ezn’s guide - https://eznguide.neocities.org/
Politics and the English Language - https://web.archive.org/web/20180531183237/https://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/
Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://pastebin.com/g4VpEg4f
Horse Behaviour - http://www.equestrianandhorse.com/equus/behaviour.html
Setting a story in motion - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufO8LbwTdu0
Taking criticism - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v4R2ZcxPlA

>Can you pre-read my story?
Post it on Google Docs with inline comments enabled and give us a link. Most will ignore it, but a few may take a look at it eventually.

>Reviews and riffs:
https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmom
https://pastebin.com/YpSiMW3Y
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFuR7pRXiBUn-IeU

>Voiceguy's readings:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt68MpmvEketmqOdHncHI2w

Last thread: >>32596240

This was the only semi-suitable OP picture I had
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>>32634934
Oh, FUCK, it's a Displaced day!

Alright, time for Part 1 of Chapter 5, the sixth of eleven chapters in this ten chapter story.

The author knows we're excited, and he's here to keep the hype train rolling:
>Author's Note:
>FINALLY.
>Here it is.
>The longest chapter. "chapter" 6 will have four parts and be twice as long as this
>I'm breaking it down into two parts because of just how insanely out of hand this single chapter is, the worst part being that it's mostly _slice of life_ in the middle of a _psychological thriller_

Frankly, Slice of Life would be a vastly more accurate tag than Thriller at this stage. But hey, he did say the action was starting soon, now that we've passed that brief little forty-thousand word intro section. It's time to buckle up, because the thrill ride is about to start:
>Ponyville was about as bustling as one would expect, and I was reminded a bit of a small town on the verge of erupting.
That's some spooky foreshadowing. What's it erupting into? copious walls of text

We're deploying the most mundane of fanfic cliches at this point, as it's time for the Pinkie Welcomes the New OC to Hogwarts Ponyville scene.
>I tapped Twilight on the shoulder and pointed to a particularly poofy plump pink pony literally bouncing towards us. She stopped a few feet away, wearing a huge grin as she looked us over excitedly. “Hey Twilight! Who’s your new friend?”
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>>32639513
Twi introduces Jello, destroyer of worlds and the void in which all hope dies, and is about to provide Pinkie the same courtesy, when Jello pre-empts her and greets Pinkie by name.
>“Wow!” Pinkie grinned, “You sure must be really smart to already know that!”

We're going to drag this "fan of the show" nonreveal out for another 3000 words, aren't we.

Pinkie's relatively in-character here, which is kind of surprising. I guess when you're allowed to display emotions and your usual speech patterns don't use any words larger than three syllables, even this author can't make you sound like a ponce.
>Pinkie gasped, “Are you an alien from another world trapped here without form or memories by some spell, remembering stories told about us from the future of some other timeline!?”
>“...yes."
>“So, Meta,” she started again, “Since you're new in town, I should throw you a 'Welcome to Equus’ party!"
Personal note, I despise when authors call the planet Equus, for a multitude of reasons but mainly because it sounds dumb. Still, at least it's not "spellform".

Now we get some fourth wall breaking from Pinkie, which is regrettable but expected, but also some from Jello, which is merely appalling:
>“Welp! I'd better let you go!” Pinkie Pie said, literally letting go of me, “Try not to bore the readers too much with the sciencey talk!” She giggled a little.
>“Don’t worry, things’ll pick up in the next chapter!” I giggled back, giving a wave as she turned to leave, “See you later Pinkie!”

Twi is naturally confused, and Jello's internal monologue wonders how she knows all these things about the ponies and this world. The audience, who have long figured it out, sigh and check their watches. The characters and by extension the readers agree to pretend this entire scene never happened.
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More like soγfiction
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>>32639558
>We're going to drag this "fan of the show" nonreveal out for another 3000 words, aren't we.
And because it's been established that Jello can just draw knowledge out of thin air, that "revelation" is going to be even more meaningless than it would otherwise be.
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>>32639503
Last thread was a nice change in pace. Here's hoping this thread's the same.
>>32639243
I get that too, people just don't read and if they do it's mostly shit. Last thing I had to read was an essay on modern society by some colombian writer and hoowee was it shit. It literally read like Elliot Rodger's manifesto and it apparently is held at high regards.
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>>32639558
> Pinkie's relatively in-character here, which is kind of surprising.
Not really. Pinkie is literally a caricature of herself, even in the show itself. I don't like that kind of characterization, but it's EXTREMELY simple (being extremely cliche) yet still in-character. So it's really not hard to not fuck her no.
>>
>>32639590
Personally, I've recently been reading more, with less of it being horsefiction.
It all waxes and wanes, and often depends on how much I'm reading for classes. Finished The Left Hand of Darkness the other day, and it was pretty good. Always liked Le Guin.

>>32639619
Speaking of Pinkie, does anyone know of any fic that really does her character justice? I've never been much of a Pinkiefag, but it pains me to see her so poorly written in so many fics.
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>>32639558
Twi asks Jello what she wants to do now, and she decides that she wants to see some art. Presumably so she can stand in front of it and feel nothing. After that, she wants to go look for some clothing, because she feels vulnerable without it and no Sue is complete without a twelve-sentence wardrobe description. Why she doesn't just morph her body into some clothing isn't discussed.
>"Besides, I could weave a few defensive runes or something into a cloak, in case I need to defend myself from something... Oh, I’d like to look around that forest at some point.” I pointed way off to the edge of town.

The Everfree forest is "teeming with raw energy" and ellipses, which Jello is "downright drawn to". Twilight warns her that the Everfree is a terrible place for doing spells because the trees are absolute murder on your horn's reception, but Jello says she's got the self-insert coverage plan and she'll be fine once she has a cool cape to stick some wards on.

Now the two are off to Rarity's shop to get some new duds and meet some more cast members in the most stilted ways imaginable. Along the way, Jello belatedly realizes she has no money. Twilight offers to pay for anything she wants because "it's for science", but "I'm sure she'll be more than willing to make it as a gift". After all, that's worked out great for Rares in the past. Twi blushes again, by now clearly craving that sweet, sweet void puss, but Jello remains mercifully oblivious and thanks her.
>>
>>32639574
https://youtu.be/oC69d8e6oR8
>>
Hate to interrupt this great riffing, but are there any updates on the guy who wanted to pay hundreds of bucks to a wishmaster to turn him into a pony?
>>
>>32639626
I just started with horse words, so I got a shit ton of reading to do before the show ends. You should browse /lit/, they have a sci fi/fiction general that you might like.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/365194/now-i-know-in-part
This fic gave me "The Last Tear in Tartarus" vibes, It's very depressing and surreat at times. The synopsis is simple enough, Twilight goes to space for a fuckton of time and hijinks ensue in her mind. The prose is somewhat intricate, if purple at times, and though it doesn't fuck it up, it's kind of boring IMO. Twilight's way of speaking is strange, but justifiable, however for whatever reason the humans talk the same way, probably a misshap if the author. Like I said, it's very gloomy; v feelsy. The immediate ending was abrupt as fuck. I'd say it was slightly above average.
I would and wouldn't recommend it, idk. It made me shed one tear but that's because I'm a pussy and I also like a somewhat well done purple prose. If you like the synopsis give it a shot.

Speaking of Purple Prose, I just bought the Background Pony book from indiegogo. No regrets.
>>
>>32639626
I really liked her portrayal in Background Pony, but that's obviously not a Pinkie fic. FanOfMostEverything or whatever his name is wrote autistic stories based on mtg or something iirc, and his headcanon was that Pinkie is a planeswalker, but I never read anything of his so I don't know much at all.

Somehow almost nothing else comes to mind. Mortal Coil had an... Interesting portrayal, just like it has for the other characters, if you can get past the English-as-a-second-language-and-no-improvement-throughout-the-entire-fic writing.
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>>32639653
They roll up to best pony's parlour, where Rarity psychically knows it's Twilight and shouts that she'll be out in a minute. They're greeted in the foyer by an inaccurately-cheerful orange pony who clearly hasn't been drinking enough yet to deal with this shit. We then get this masterfully organic scene composition:
>“Howdy, my name’s Applejack if you didn’t already pick that up.” the orange pony said as she beckoned us into the room, Pleased ta’ meet ya’!” she took my hoof with hers, and I shook it with a grin.
>“And I am Rarity, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well!” the pony from earlier beamed at me, holding out a hoof for a much more gentle shake. She was a pure white unicorn with a whimsically styled purple mane, and if I’d remembered the Wolfmother song at the time, the iconic guitar riff would’ve started playing in my head.

The author barely suppresses the urge to link a youtube video, and Twilight does another round of introductions. She explains that Jello is a fellow mage who recently had a horrible accident, and the most beautiful pony in the world second-most, now that Sue's here is gripped with concern:
>“Oh dear, how awful!” Rarity said, putting a hoof to her chest. I wasn’t sure how much of her reactions were theatrics, but I seemed to sense a genuine concern from her. oh fuck, she IS an empath
After all, the only purpose of an emotional display is manipulation, in Jello's world. Clearly this marshmallow is plotting something.

Applejack likewise expresses her sympathies, frowning, and that gesture is enough to send Jello into an analytic conniption:
>“Yeah, ah’m sorry to hear that Meta. I hope ‘yall feel better soon.” Applejack threw in with a frown. She wasn’t prone to any sort of exaggeration of her mannerisms, so the genuine nature of her response felt all the more genuine to me.
>>
>>32639700
>They roll up to best pony's parlour
I see you're a fellow man of culture.
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>>32639716
Pute
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>>32639700
That might have been a genuinely awful sentence, but there's no time for editing on a thrillride this fast.

Jello gives a very blasé recap of the story and to everyone's relief keeps it under 90 words. Applejack and Rarity express some astonishment that it took five chapters and 40k words originally Jello was able to rebuild herself from trace atoms with nothing but magic and smug superiority. Rarity is polite enough to hide the existential terror she must be feeling at the knowledge that other worlds filled with violent magic and angry gods surround her own, simply telling Jello that if she needs anything, just ask.

AJ is a bit more concerned, giving Twi a serious side-eye, but Twilight smiles queasily and plays off her single-hoofed choice to doom the world by saying she wanted to make friends. Applejack looks over Jello, internally resolves to make another visit to the liquor store, and says:
>“Well... Y’all seem pretty friendly to me... I s’pose we might be friends, uh... someday.” She gave me a weak smile, as if hiding some discomfort.

Jello magnanimously decides not to "call it out", and suddenly realizes that she's been sensing "some sort of unseen connection between the ponies, like a channel of some sort of energy being directed at each other". Remember, kids, to make your writing interesting and flow well you've got to sprinkle every noun with "some sort of".
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>>32639716
For you.
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>>32639747
Twilight gets cheerful because her friends are too polite to chew her out like Spike, and asks if Rarity can help them out. Jello describes her desired outfit, which is about as edgy as you'd expect:
>a long, dark jacket made of tough material, as well as a cloak I could line with protective enchantments.

At least it's brief. Fortunately, Rarity has some "interesting material" that the author doesn't feel like describing further, made specifically for runes and enchantments. It obviously didn't cost much since she's just chucking them at a stranger for free. We then get hit with more block paragraphs about Rarity's creative process, while Applejack writes down measurements for her instead of fleeing to the blissful oblivion of the nearest rum bottle.
> I could tell that Applejack was pretty experienced with tracking numbers, and probably did a large amount of the accounting for her apple farm, which alone would explain her close friendship with an entrepreneur like Rarity...
>...Wait... How did I know about that...?

I'm not sure if the author thinks this is a genuine mystery, or just feels his audience is actually dumb enough not to know the answer yet.
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>>32639827
Rarity tells Jello not to get in any trouble before she finishes sewing together her ninth grader's wet dream, which makes Jello chuckle. Wouldn't humor be an emotional response? I don't see how laughing at a joke helps you impose your will on the universe.

As she and Twi leave, she stares ominously at Applejack:
>I’d noticed that Applejack was very guarded around me, as if she had things she wanted to say that weren’t nice, so she didn’t want to say anything at all. She didn’t trust me, and I wondered how she might’ve behaved had we been alone...

Jello immediately ignores Rarity's request and Twi's advice by saying she wants to go check out the Everfree forest right now. Twilight says sure, this'll be a great chance to introduce her to Fluttershy and Discord oh no oh NO, and presumably Rainbow will show up as well so we get another twofer.

Surprise! We're doing it now. Rainbow rockets out of the sky and lands in a confused mess of a sentence, and briefly attempts to out-smug Jello herself:
>We both looked up to see a blue pegasus with awesome rainbow hair zooming down to join us, hovering backwards just in front of us, eyeing me over briefly before setting down, smirking at Twilight, “Looks like somepony found somepony to talk Magic with. Wanna introduce me?”
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>>32639924
Before Twilight can repeat the introduction for a third time, Jello interrupts and greets "Rainbow Dash, the fastest pony in Equestria. Aren't you a member of the Wonderbolts?"

Twilight is puzzled for a moment, but surrenders to the inexorable flow of this story's repetition. Rainbow asks if Jello's a fan of stunt flying.

Detective Jello is on the case:
>“I don’t think so...” I said, though it was entirely possible I had been, “I just saw you and remembered that you are... It's as if I know who all of you are from some story, but I don't remember reading it...”
>Twilight finally spoke up, “But... How is that possible? Meta, you're not even from this world...”
>“I don't know... Perhaps we need to reexamine our model of multiversal theory...”

Sherlock Sue is stumped for now, and gives up. What, you thought we were going to solve this case before we meet the last member of the main 6? Pay attention, Watson.

Rainbow Dash decides she's had enough of this scene and leaves. Twilight says that Jello's personality is developing more, and Jello replies that she's feeling "pretty well fleshed out at this point...", and we are now 3,348 words deep into this chapter of our action-packed psycho-thriller.
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>>32639992
They reach the Everfree's border, and nearly trip over a run-on sentence:
>The Everfree forest was teeming with a strange, turbulent energy: whereas the rest of this world it seemed to be covered in a strong ambient energy which flowed steadily with uniform saturation, in the Everfree, it broke up to flow around trees and other features, churning in strange magical eddies, creating both hot-spots and dead-zones.

As the two cross this liminal space, Jello feels an unfamiliar presence descend upon her like a fog. She doesn't know what it is, but takes this opportunity to preen about how "few beings of the waking" would be able to sense or understand it either. It's not even worth pausing, apparently, because they move on to Fluttershy's house in the next sentence:
>Not far from the last house, we approached a cottage which seemed built out of a hill, surrounded with a small garden filled with burrows, a quaint bridge running over a small stream for housing fish.

That stream cost half of Fluttershy's last paycheck, but it was worth it to finally have a place to put all her fish. They were starting to smell.

Twi and Jello walk up to the house, which is silent as the grave. Jello uses the force:
>As we crossed the bridge, I focused in on my senses, noticing the chickens hiding in their coop, the birds hiding in their houses, the ground animals hiding in the burrows...
>I could feel their fear.
Take a shot!

The two get to yellowquiet's door and knock. Flutters pokes her head out and lets the two of them in, accidentally spilling all her ellipses out of her pockets.
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>>32640081
>The door opened wider as Fluttershy conversed with us, looking about anxiously, “Um... No... I mean... Oh dear... I think you should come inside...”

They enter and find the room "dark and bare of life". Fluttershy informs them that the animals are all scared of "something... unnatural moving through the woods... Like some sort of monster...” Jello posits to Twilight that it's the presence she's felt. Twi demonstrates her usual insatiable curiosity:
>“It’s possible... I hope it’s not something we need to worry about...” Twilight looked over at Fluttershy, “This is Meta. She’s another spellcaster. She’s had some... odd magic done to her. I was hoping Discord might be able to help...”

Flutters explains that she was expecting him for tea shortly, and at Twi and Jello's joint prompting tells her 300 cats to come out of hiding. The animals refuse. There's a few short, irritating paragraphs of verbal sleuthing, but eventually our ten-dimensional wunderkind figures out that the critters are afraid of her.

Then she pops open wikipedia again:
>“Me? But why? I’m... Oh...” I looked at Twilight, “Uncanny Valley.”
>“Uncanny Valley? But you look perfectly normal! Why didn’t anypony else see it?”
>“Animals sense the world differently than we do, so when I made myself to look friendly to ponies, I must have missed some characteristic which they pick up on...” I trailed off, letting her pick up...
“>...creating the appearance not of a living thing, but something trying to mimic one!” her eyes widened, “Meta! They probably think you’re a flesh golem or something!”

Presumably she has a few of those stashed in her castle basement, too.
>>
>>32639695

>over 200 bucks for the color text version

Shit man. I really liked BP, and I still feel regret on your behalf.

No regrets about getting iisaw's books, though. Granted they aren't particularly high-quality for hardcovers, but fifteen bucks for a specialty novel is more than fair.
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>>32639716

We are legion.
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>>32640166
I got the $93 one, anon. Still autism I know, but fuck it. It makes me happy. And it was a really good book fanfic. Bless skirts. I'll suck his dick all day.
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>>32640138
Fluttershy has the appropriate response:
>Fluttershy’s wings were raised, and her fur was literally standing on end, “T-Twilight? What... what’s going on?! Why is Meta... Why isn’t Meta alive!?”

Twilight tells her that she's just wearing a prosthetic body, which instantly calms down Flutters because AJ is already the designated suspicious friend. To further soothe the agitated anti-social forest hermit, Jello decides to tell her about their day, because we've gone almost 1000 words without recapping the entire fucking plotline.

Fortunately it's a red herring, because instead of a full retelling the author opts to subject us to more comedy. I'm not even going to bother posting the quotes, but the general gist is that Fluttershy spends most of it apologizing and Jello tries to distract her by talking about clothes. Then she reveals that she can't eat anything and freaks Flutters out again. In the background, a trombone wails, and a laugh track bursts forth.
>Twilight facehooved, groaning, “Not this again...”
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>>32640199
Suddenly, magic floods Jello's awareness, and Discord arrives at last. Has he come to save us, or damn us?

>Oh.” Discord immediately stopped when he noticed me for the first time, having somehow not sensed me as a living creature in the room. He leaned in, giving me his full attention, ”Well you're different.” Discord dropped the subject mid-sentence and began eyeing me over with amused curiosity, picking up my hoof and looking at it, sticking his head under my body and looking over my underside...

Fluttershy tells him that's a bit rude to stare at someone's junk--or lack thereof--but Jello interrupts her and confirms my worst fears:
>“Nah, it’s fine. I’m a huge fan of Discord.” I said off the cuff, “I also don’t mind this kind of attention from an attractive male... Hey Twilight, you should make a note of that, in case you were wondering about those preferences.”

Twi, crushed, attempts to deny her lust for the Vag of Yog-Sothoth:
>Twilight blushed too, “I um... wasn’t really... um... ok... I’ll keep that, in mind...” she stammered.

Discord at least grants us the mercy of being a little hammy instead of longwinded and bland like the other rationalists:
>“Ah Twilight, I don’t know what this abomination is that you’ve called in from the void, but I completely approve of this application of the dark arts!” he laughed more, grabbing my hoof and shaking, “Welcome to Equestria, whatever you are... Do you go by something pronounceable on the lower planes?”

Dunno, can you pronounce "Mary Sue"?
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>>32640236
Discord decides it's time to explain the plot, and tells her that it sounds like someone tried to Displace her. He explains over several huge walls of text that some elder god-class beings have been plucking mortals out of their universes and chucking them into other settings. He also manages to slip in some ego-wanking over how impressive it is that Jello interrupted the process.

Apparently being the "Avatar of Chaos" means that it's Discord's duty to defend Equestria from the "impositions of otherworldly beings." That sounds a bit like tasking a fire with the mission of turning water into snow, but perhaps my measly 4-dimensional mind can't wrap itself around the logic. He says that the thing that did this to Jello is probably going to come after her to correct its mistake, but he doesn't have a clue what it might be, anything from a deep one to a full-on god.

Jello suddenly regrets not asking Rarity to make her a fedora:
>“Well I don’t believe in gods.” I grumbled, “And as much as I find the idea of multiversal travel ‘exciting’, I believe in my right to, you know, not have my very being broken down by uncaring Outsiders...”

I'm not very familiar with the WoD, but shouldn't a high level mage be pretty aware of the existence of gods?

Anyway, Discord mentions Tirek, which causes Jello to suddenly break out her pipe and monocle again.
>“Like, I mean, you had this evil sorceror named Tirek who could steal magic, and Discord sold you out to him, only to regret it after his sudden but inevitable betrayal? Because Discord is emotionally stunted? Then he swung back around at the last possible second, right?”
>“...That’s... Yes. How did... How did you know about that?”

Will the answer to this mystery finally be revealed?
>“I have no idea. It’s just a piece of knowledge I have. I’m really starting to wonder if there’s some time dickery at play here."

>mfw
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>>32639847
>Find a decent Rising Revengeance story involving Sam traveling to Equestria
>''Okay, first chapter, Sam acting like he would, Fluttershy's a bit OOC, but otherwise decent so far''
>Check the tag
>Unifished
>Last chapter written 4 years ago
>mfw
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>>32640297
With the Curious Case of Jello's Journey still unsolved, Twi and Jello take their leave so that Flutters and Discord can have filthy, crazy cat lady sex and drink tea out of ten-dimenisonal cups. Jello ponders the some sort of energy that she's been sensing:
>As we walked outside, I thought about something I’d observed between Twilight and Fluttershy: I was starting to realize that what I’d been sensing was the strength of social connections between ponies... Was this what “friendship” felt like to a being of mind? I noticed that there were small waves of energy being sent between them, but I did not make these waves, and none were ever directed at me. I’d also begun to notice that they were slightly different depending on who was interacting with who, like how earlier I’d had some odd sense of the relationship between Rarity and Applejack. I set a note of it aside to look into it further: this could be worth studying.

I can't tell if this is a hint at Rarijack shipping or not, but I'm currently thanking god that this thing has a T rating and thus we won't be subjected to Discord boning a lump of sapient spaceburger gonna save that for the sequel, no doubt.

As they leave, Jello feels the presence from earlier return, and wonders if she's being watched. The chapter ends, as usual, on an ellipsis.

But nothing ever really ends, does it, Adrian? We'll dive into Chapter 5 Part 2 tomorrow.
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>>32639700
>‘yall
How in the fuck
I mean, I can understand "ya'll", but this is "I didn't even look at the words I was typing" tier
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>>32639827
>How did I know about that...?
Wait, I thought Donuttiere Steele was aware of the show as well as being able to pull knowledge out of thin air. Why is she wondering this?
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>>32640652
She hasn't made the connection between her memories and the existence of the show. Much like the word "human", she has somehow had that memory surgically removed and her towering intellect isn't enough to piece it together.

The extra irony is that the author spent probably a 2000 word block of text back in chapter 3 yammering on about how memories are all interconnected and how you fill in blank spots with other things you remember.
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>>32640236
>not Vag-Sothoth
I expect more of you, Anon.
>>
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>>32640727
Sorry, I felt like that might have made the joke unclear. Same reason I didn't go with "Cthulhug" earlier.
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>>32640770
It's understandable. You're under a lot of mental stress.
Keep up the good work, Anon.
>>
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So I came across this one crossover story involving Jetstream Sam.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/100579/the-winds-of-redemption

I'm quite surprised, I'm currently in Hero-(Non)sacred Hospitality, so far everything is very decent. The characters act accordingly, dialogue feels like dialogue, Sam feels like a real person now. And surprisingly, despite what often times is 5 to 10k words per chapter, I find it very flexible to read. For a crossover story, I think this one deserves some credit

I'm thinking of reviewing this at the end of it, is anyone insterested?
>>
>>32640879
Sure, more activity in here is always good. Is there a point where Sam lectures Twilight about how her horn yearns to bathe in the blood of her enemies, BUT YOU HOLD IT BACK!
>>
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>>32640888
So far, Sam has been kind of a jerk to everyone he's seen. But Discord did mention that he also brought a couple of friends
>>
>>32640912
Oh dear God. If there's a hands-happy Lyra, Mistral is going to never hear the end of it.
>>
>>32641077
Now while I like the idea of Lyra lusting over Mistrals arms (considering the way she moaned when the arms attached to her), I admit this story is doing an excellent job at keeping MEME references to the bare minimum

Let's be honest, if I wanted meme's It'd either replay the cutscenes of the game or watch this playthrough instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCjKkImnhlU

A shame I'm reaching the end of this story, but I will review it tomorrow if things go right
>>
>>32640138
>quoting greentext
>>
>>32639558
>I despise when authors call the planet Equus
What's the source for this anyway? I can't remember it from the show. Same thing with giving a name to the mountain that Canterlot is built on.
>>
>>32639626
Pinkie's character varies massively depending on who is writing the episode. It's impossible to do her justice.
>>
>>32639686
Seconding this.
>>
>>32639924
>this'll be a great chance to introduce her to Fluttershy and Discord
I can't recall her living THAT close to the Everfree.
>>
>>32642029
It's a somewhat logical name that sprung up relatively early, spread, and now people don't care to make up their own name after hearing the existing one and deciding it sounds good enough.
>>
>>32640297
I'm now convinced that every fic can be improved by Discord.
>>
>>32640425
>drink tea out of ten-dimenisonal cups
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!
>>
>the good fic I was reading still has 200,000 words left and has turned in to a war fic
What should I do?
>>
>>32643029
Is it a good warfic?
>>
>>32643039
I'm not sure. The war hasn't truly kicked off yet.
>>
>>32643029
goodness, what fic? that seems like the kind of thing you couldn't hide in a synopsis.
>>
>>32643062
Keep reading and if it turns to shit, stop.
>>
>>32642294
Not really. discord is every bit as hard to write as pinkie, and for the same reasons.
>>
>>32643594
I'm behind, but has he ever been in enough episodes to, like Pinkie, have an inconsistent character because of the range of writers that he's had? As of season 5, I can only recall 5 episodes with him.
>>
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did regi ever manage to do anything with that fucking pony tf maniac from last thread
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>>32643914
Maybe they met up and Regi is now a pony.
>>
>>32644066
>looking for someone to become a pony with me and visit Equestria
>I've only done this once before
>safety not guaranteed
>>
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>>32644140
I... I'd actually read that, to be honest.
>>
>>32644148
Fairly sure there's something either with this premise or something similar that /ptfg/ could point you to.
>>
Any recs for longfics that have been published somewhat recently (past 2 years or so)? Adventure and/or sci-fi preferred. Incomplete stories are okay as long as they're good. I'm gonna be on a plane tomorrow and need something to keep me busy for 8 hours.
>>
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https://youtu.be/zhPoLBpx8pg
A based anon from the Twilight general made this. Enjoy, niggers. You could use it to study Twilight and write her better.
>>
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>>32640425
All right, gang; engage blenders, set inebriation to stun, and let's get cracking.

Now that we've all had some time to recover from the pulse-pounding adrenaline injection of PART ONE, it's time for CHAPTER FIVE 2: ELECTRIC SUE-GALOO

The author, who I have come to suspect is a vogon, resumes with a brief note:
>Ok, here's the rest of that chapter, as promised. This was all extremely difficult for me to write
There's an easy joke in there, but I'm taking it anyway--not as hard as it is to read!

Echoing the last entire chapter, nothing much happens before Twi and Jello make it back to the castle. Twilight spots a letter lying on the map table, and picks it up to find that it's from Celestia. Muttering about her perfectly good purple mailbox with legs, she starts scanning through it:
>“Hmm... Oh... Celestia says she’s... proud of me for looking past my fear to pursue friendship...? Well, that’s a relief... I was worried she’d be mad...” She read on, “She says she’s still fine with me handling it, but Princess Luna is still showing up in the morning to come see you...”

The name Luna triggers another memory flash for Jello, but she shoves it aside so that she can bask in all those ellipses. Afterward, she asks if she should go talk to Spike now, maybe go rub his face in Twilight's betrayal a bit more. Twi doesn't have any objections, and is about to give her directions to his room, when Jello waves her off and heads for the dragon's lair unaided. You see:
>“This place has magical markers. If you know how to sense them, they’re like direction signs.” I called back, following the path laid out for me.
>“Wait... really?!” I sensed Twilight focusing behind me as I walked out the door, “Wait... So those are actually.... AAUGH!! Why didn’t I figure that out before we started mapping the castle!!”
>Sad Twilight.
Take a shot!
>>
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>>32645358
K***ht Jello invades the duke's archives and knocks on the dragon's door. Spike demands the password; Jello whispers "spellform" and the way is opened:
>"I’m assuming you’re here to try and talk me into trusting you?” he raised a brow, scowling.
>“I’m just trying to figure out how to convince you that I’m not here to destroy your planet or something.”
because it's going to be way easier if he doesn't see it coming.

Spike points out that Jello could kill them all with a single spell and wouldn't even have the decency to feel bad about it, but Jello uses reverse psychology:
>If there’s anything I can do to make you feel safer around me, just let me know.”
>Spike put a claw to his chin, tapping as he thought for a moment, “Well... When you put it that way...” he sighed, deflating as he relented on me for the first time since we’d met, “I suppose that nothing short of you leaving would make me feel safe..."

Poked by Jello's inarguable logic, Spike obligingly falls over and waves the white flag. He agrees not to stop Jello from further worming her way into Twilight's life, but doesn't promise he'll be friends with her himself. Jello wrenches her face into her best facsimile of a warm emotion and accepts his terms. She says she'll see him around, and he replies:
>“Yeah, I’ll definitely be _seeing_ you...”

Forgetting to snatch the idea of foreshadowing from the conceptual plane, Jello prances away without another thought.
>>
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>>32645412
Jello sits in her fancy room with her fancy bed and her fancy shower and reflects on how little she needs any of it, what with being an unholy abomination born from the darkest reaches of the interdimensional abyss. She verges on melancholy as she realizes she no longer gets to enjoy relaxing in the bath or eating pastries, but of course she doesn't care enough to turn her emotions back on.

Twilight, still under the delusion she can compete with that hunky Discord, pipes up and says how excited she is about the whole situation. Her plan's coming together, now--she's alone in a room with Jello; there's a long night ahead of them, they have an empty bed the size of a house, and they've got nothing better to do than explore the capabilities of Jello's new form...

As she bats her lashes, Jello turns and idly wonders:
>“Do you have, like... some sort of social disorder?”

Abort, ABOR--no, no, keep it cool, Twilight, you can still salvage this:
>“I’m... not sure what you mean” she tilted her head.
>“It’s... I guess I’m wondering if there’s some sort of neurological difference in you that makes social isolation normal for you.”
>“I mean, I do have trouble associating with other ponies, but I always assumed it was because I was just interested in different things from other ponies, or, well, on my worse days, that maybe I was just too smart to relate to...” she cringed, cutting herself off, “Well, I don’t think it’s good to think that about myself...”

The concept of humility bangs around the room and is loudly ignored by Jello:
>“But Twilight...” I pressed, “You and I ARE smarter than other ponies."
>>
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>>32645480
Twilight resists the pull of the smug side:
>“I suppose you have a point... It’s just that it’s so rude to go around saying it, that’s all.”

But Darth Jello knows the dark kernel of truth in her heart:
>I looked out into the darkness beyond the window, “it’s just so frustrating when they’re baffled by things that just feel... obvious...”
>“...I... I haven’t felt that way...“ Twilight took a step towards me, “...with you.”

A small crab pokes his head in through the window, singing "sha-la-la-la", as Twilight leans closer. Her lips quiver, the thin sheen of sweat on her brow shining in the moonlight. Jello lets out a soft breath, watching the way the breeze plays with Twilight's mane. Her voice now a bare whisper, she speaks:
> “You know... Twilight...” I glanced down at my hoof, scraping it gently against the beautiful crystalline tile, eyes wandering to the ornate, plush rug that I probably wouldn’t appreciate as much as a pony whose body was real, “I don’t remember much about my old life... but I do remember that it was really hard for me to make friends..." I looked back up at her, smiling a little as I let my emotions show, a few ‘tears’ starting to form in my eyes, “But I feel like... I guess what I’m saying is... In spite of everything else, I’m glad that I got to meet you.”
>Twilight blushed again, smiling a little. I took a step towards her, leaning in as we wrapped our forelegs around each other in a firm embrace. That’s when I felt it... that connection that I’d sensed between Twilight’s friends all day, except now, I finally knew what it was...
>Love.

Twi shivers with anticipation. This is it. It's taken twenty-seven years, wings, a castle, countless merchandising deals, a dark ritual and unleashing damnation upon the world, but Twilight Sparkle is finally about to lose her virg--
>Not, like, romantic or sexual attraction. Like the love felt between friends.
>>
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>>32645534
Of course, Jello's just describing the some-sort-of emotion, she can't actually feel it:
>I knew I wasn’t able to reciprocate with her, but part of me didn’t mind so much.

Jello asks if she can brush Twilight's hair, and the distraught unicorn throws away the last vestiges of her crumbling self-respect in a pitiful attempt to at least cop a feel.
>And so, after a bit of rummaging and moving about, the two of us were lying on my bed, side by side, gently running soft brushes through each other’s manes. At some point I remanifested my wings, to which Twilight expressed some interest in preening them.

Enjoying this brief moment of respite from all the ceaseless, thrilling, psychological horror they've endured for the past 8000 words, the two take the conversation to the most interesting topic two divine-level alicorns manipulating the forces of creation can discuss: boys!
>“So...” Twilight asked, leaning her head against my foreleg as I ran the brush down the back of her neck, “What was that earlier with you and Discord?”
>“Oh that? Well... Obviously, he’s powerful and funny... quite handsome too. I really liked his style, just... I dunno. I’d hit that...”

Twilight drops one more desperate hint:
>Meta, you are so weird!” Twilight laughed, “I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with xenophilia."

Jello gives her a pity cuddle, but it "died down about as quickly as it began." Hiding her crushing disappointment with the skill of long-practice, Twilight hops out of bed and says that she's ready to call it a night. Jello shooes her off with a hoof, and Twilight flees to bawl her eyes out in seclusion. Jello turns out the window, meditating:
>...And there I was, alone with my thoughts...
Take a shot!
>>
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>>32645621
Now that she's successfully friendzoned one of Equestria's three most powerful beings into a quivering, co-dependent lump, Jello decides to test out how much punishment her body can take. She rolls her neck, hops up into the window, and jumps out of the castle tower. The author cracks open his Goosebumps collection and selects a few gooey passages:
>my body slammed into the ground full force, legs instantly buckling, pieces of my flesh literally exploding outwards as my entire body was shattered against the hard dirt of the ground. I felt ichor ooze from the sockets where my eyes had been before the sudden pressure of my skull flattening had blown them out, lying splayed and broken on the ground.
>the real horror of this story comes from the philosophical and scientific quandaries the characters go through: this is "intellectual horror", not "visceral horror".

Realizing that the scales have tipped too far from pseudo-scientific rambling in favor of bland slice-of-life fanfic, the author hastily makes a savings throw and rolls a 20:
>I remembered that gravity is caused by some effect that mass has on spacetime, though I was a bit fuzzy on the details. An occultist-turned-physicist named Isaac Newton had theorized that it was the result of planetary auras pulling each other at a rate equal to the product of the two masses, divided by the square of the distance between them, (an inverse square law) multiplied by some constant which was around 8 or 9, and that inertia meant that the objects were moved towards each other at different rates according to their mass, meaning a relatively small object, such as my body, would be moved much faster than a large object, like the planet it was splattered against...
>>
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>>32645677
>I also remembered that another physicist named Albert Einstein had disproven that model, showing that Gravity was really caused, not by attractive forces innate to matter, but because matter warped space-time with its presence, something which was made clear to me based on the fact that I could see 5 of the dimensions curving around the matter around me.
>...Wait a second.
>Realizing I was basically experiencing something that even Carl Sagan couldn’t have experienced no matter how many mind-expanding substances he used...

Finally concluding that she's recited enough of the names on the outside of the campus physics building, Jello decides to reassemble herself. Making some tentacles from her head, she pulls all of her pieces back together like a satanic lego set. Then Jello thinks for a paragraph and learns how to exploit the curvature of spacetime to fly:
>What if... What if there was some way that matter didn’t have that property? What if one could tune out the presence of space-time? Scientists had theorized such methods, but they could never actually produce them outside of heavily controlled environments... But they couldn’t literally see the presence of dimensional warping. Tearing down the existence of my own matter to its most fundamental level, I found it...
>...And then I was weightless.

She spends another wall of text learning that physics no longer apply to her, and she can basically do whatever she wants, and lays out the fundamental theorem of magic:
>I’d realized by now that will was becoming the main limiting factor in all of this: Magic = Will + Intent, after all.
Well, and horns or pacts with unspeakable horrors.

Jello wonders how powerful the thing that Displaced her has to be, and has the nerve to mock another terrible writer for having overpowered protagonists:
>If Nietzsche was to be believed, the being which could do that sort of thing would be like the over-the-top hero of an Ayn Rand novel.
>>
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>>32645721
She flies back up to her bedroom, ignoring the sobs coming from down the hall, and crawls into her bed to "sleep". Of course she spends a giant paragraph gloating that she doesn't actually need rest anymore, but decides to meditate on it for a while as the most thrill-filled chapter so far comes to a close.

With an ellipsis, of course!

I'll be traveling tomorrow, so I probably won't be picking this up again until Monday. But when we return, it'll be time for the promised chapter six, the beginning of the wild ride that will take us to the story's thundering climax and shatter our puny minds--
>Act 3 Introduction (AKA "Princess Luna recaps the plot")

I'm gonna need more rum.
>>
I'm reading Frequency and this shit is naming me nervous. This is literally some Black Mirror type shit. Vinyl Scratch has a girl's life in her hooves and the girl just might be the last survivor of the human race. It'd be so easy to pull the plug on her by just ignoring her.
>>
>>32645886
Hmm. Now that I think about it, this fic has some plot holes, most of them being obvious ways Adi could prove her existence. One example being her music.
>>
>>32645746
Not only is this thing painful, I fail to see what the point of the fic is supposed to be. What's the central conflict?
>>
There was a story a while back about Derpy being visited by Twilight because she was the one that saved her during the movie.
Twilight says Derpy can have anything she wants within reason as a reward for helping save Equestria.
Derpy has a huge crush on Twilight so she asks her out on a date.
Twilight is a little taken back as she's not really into mares, but accepts anyway because it's nothing massive.

Did that ever get continued, or was it just a one shot?
>>
>>32646686
The guy wrote another chapter for it, and said he plans to write third chapter; but that was four months ago.
>>
>>32645677
What kind of fucking 'perfectly logical' creature decides to test how easily they die by trying to kill themselves, for no reason? What if she was wrong, and actually died? What if she'd been crippled for life? And why would you test your body by throwing yourself off a building, instead of in a more controlled environment? I mean, she doesn't even have any evidence to suggest her body is weaker or stronger than the average pony.
>>
>>32646674
It's a Mary Sue-fic. The central point of it is 'look at how amazing my character is; that's why she has every superpower and everyone in the cast loves her. Especially Twilight, because they're both purely logical, rational individuals.'
>>
>>32645746
So Jello here is an ubermensch who sees 10 dimensions and is far too euphoric and enlightened for emotions, but also has the mental state of a teenaged girl?
Jesus, I'm scared of imagining the community of smug circlejerkers that enjoys it, because this almost gives me some r9k/incel tier vibes.
>>
Does anybody have 7DSJ anon's riffs in one big pastebin? I've been searching the archives but I'm semi-convinced it doesn't exist.
>>
>>32646695
Got a link to it?
>>
>>32647396
This.
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>>32645480
>I had a lonely childhood because I was smarter than all of the other kids
Is it just me, or is this in almost every rationalfic? The Moon's Apprentice only approached it, but HPMOR, Frendship is Optimal, and Displaced in to Nothing all seem to be explicate about it.

I'm feeling a worryingly high level of empathy for them. I wonder how common that sort of childhood is on this website? Maybe I'll go bait /r9k/ with it.
>>
>>32645721
Weird, with HPMOR that makes the second rationalfic that I've seen go out of its way to shit on Rand.
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>>32645886
>Frequency
Which author?
>>
>>32648050
PaulAsaran
>>
>>32647995
Given this is about rational fics and whatever term should be used to describe that thought process, I don't know if it's actually due to a childhood being distant from other kids because of intelligence...or just having a naturally large ego thinking they were superior to lesser minds at that age. The latter would reinforce why such people grow up into total self-absorbed holier-than-thou types.
>>
>>32647011
https://pastebin.com/u/IHeartShinzakura
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>>32648752
Thanks anon you're a hero
>>
>>32647995
>I wonder how common that sort of childhood is on this website?
It's at least somewhat common. But while we're talking about it, there's really no such thing as being lonely simply because you're smart. You're lonely because you have bad social skills, or because you're a dick. And if you think you're "too smart to relate to", you're likely a dick.

I grew up identifying as "the smart kid", much in the way these authors likely did. I had the best grades, I liked school, I read a lot and had nerdy interests. I also had friends. I'm sure others here share my experiences. I don't mean that I'm actually a particularly clever person, but I think a lot of people that identify as smart share these experiences from their childhood and into their teens. These authors just never really grow out of it.

It's natural to feel empathy for these people, because loneliness can itself be a form of suffering, but that doesn't mean they're not at least partially responsible for their own situation.
>>
>>32648752
Needs to be updated since we're on what, book 5 now?
>>
>>32647396
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/394036/derpys-reward
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>>32649757
Thanks dude.
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>>32649757
Hey, I recognise that author.
Story tracked.
>>
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>>32646721
And then they go around, showing everyone how ''AWESOME and POWERFUL'' their oc is

I remember one guy drawing a picture of a guard and a batpony waiting for their baby (they were both OC's btw). But it turns out he drawed the pregnant OC without the authors permission

What stops anyone from writting a fic that involves their shitty OC fighting yours and multiple others?
>>
>>32649835
>without the authors permission
anyone that DONUT STEELEs their shitty OC deserves to have their shit repeatedly violated
>>
>>32617745
Reminder that a single fetishist is responsible for all the "Dash in a prison outfit in chains" pictures that are out there.

>>32618578
>good outweighed the bad
>I'm never reading another MLP fic again
You're sending mixed signals.

>>32619953
>currently reading
Gotta read the next update to Empty Horizons. I'm wondering how long it'll be until the bat pony mercenary turns good, then is murdered by the griffon asshole.

>>32621036
>They act like they're from s1
Chronologically, Regent takes place only about halfway through S3 but a big part of the failure is they've been playing such a minor role in things, there's not much chance to develop them more. Unfortunately, I don't see that issue changing through the rest of the story.

>>32632271
>get the first Honor Harrington book for free on Amazon
>"At the publisher's request, this title is sold without DRM"
>discover the publisher released every single novel in the -verse up to 2011 on a CD
>they gave permission to share it
>download the iso
>every novel is in five formats, including epub, docx, and PDF
>have fifty DRM-free novels on your tablet
Based Baen Books

>>32639503
>power armor anon's story
>evil fascist empire
>iron's a rare natural resource being fought over
>Lightning Dust fights for the fascists using super power armor
Shit, I'd forgotten about that.

>>32642029
I don't think any one fic popularized it. I dislike it, too, since it applies a species-centric name to the planet. It's odd there's such hostility to calling it Earth, given earth ponies are a thing. The word's already in common usage for it's original meaning (dirt), so why wouldn't it make the leap to planet name, too?

Calling the mountain Canterhorn is probably pun-based. Canterhorn is an excellent Matterhorn horse pun. Why break away from a good pun? Same reason "Stalliongrad" is used so much in fics.

>>32643062
If you're reading Rise of Firefly, just know the war doesn't actually start until the sequel.
>>
>>32650576
those baen cds are amazing. get the bujold ones ASAP if you haven't read the vorkosigan series yet.
>>
so I made a hundred stories, what will be the next SINGLE genre the next hundred stories should be about?
>>
>>32650619
Thriller.
>>
>>32650619
>>32650691
psychological horror thriller!

with a bit of slice of life.
>>
>>32650691
>>32650736
it shall be done.
>>
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Legit spoilers to Background Pony so tread carefully.

"I think that I have finally found you. In the dark, hiding behind the shadows, cowering from me your entire life. You were just a brave step away, beyond my cot, beyond the noise of my breaths.

I can't imagine why I was so reticent to embrace you until now, to caress your cheek, to make the contact that needed to be made. After all, you have been following me all this time, it's only fitting that I turned around and let you join me in the trot.

Of course it's you. It's always been you. In my tears, it's been you. In my laughter, it's been you. In my parents’ breaths, in my dreams, in the stars of my friends' eyes; they were yours all along. These words are for you: they are drab and they are dismal and they are dull, but they are yours to make poetry with.

For what else would I be writing this if not for you? Because though I don't know you, I know that you are there. I feel your presence, in that I feel the lack of your presence, the indefinable other that makes us more than darkness and dust. I don't know who you are, but I write this to you, and I love you, because what else is there for us to do in this life but reach out and connect, to remind ourselves of things that can't be said, but only felt? For life begins and ends in a blink, and all that is certain is the choice to be certain."


Why do people say this fic is shit? How is this shit? This is beautiful.
>>
>>32645886
I think this fic might be going to shit. Chapter 10 was bad but right now, at chapter 11 this shit is awful. I'm gonna finish and of it 12 is just as bad I might drop this shit. It's literally A Puppet to Her Fame again. Literal 0 to 100.
>>
>>32651356
As someone who’s read Frequency (the one who brought it up) but not Puppet (though I’ve heard it’s really depressing), how so?
>>
>>32650576
>I'd like to say that the good outweights the bad
>I'd like to
>>
>>32650619
Actually improving at writing, Evictus
>>
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>>32651743
A Puppet to her Fame has three chapters, I wouldn't call it a good fic, nor was it all that depressing, especially with it's ending. The first chapter was a 7/10, the second a 6/10 and the third a literal 1/10, as if the story changed authors or something. It starts good and ends bad.
>>
>>32650576
I'm also reading Empty Horizons. It's been good.

>>32651055
I wish people would stop reminding me that fic exists. I wish I could forget the experience of reading it.
>>
>>32652232
I just looked up that story and it looks boof, is it good? Is it a go? Should I pull the trigger and fucking end it read it?
Also why would you wish to forget? It moved me so. Also you, on 4chan, should know that people here believe in suffering, that it isn't useless and bad, that it's good for you.
>>
>>32652259
I haven't regretted reading something as much as BP since I had to read Catcher in the Rye back in highschool. And even more so because of how long, and unnecessarily long at that, it was. I don't really want to get into it because I want to forget the time I wasted on it.

And yeah Empty Horizons is pretty good.
>>
Good to see EH getting a lot of buzz. I still haven’t actually gotten to the last chapter yet though (trying to get a lot of things done). There’s even a Rage Reviews thread for it now, though they’re sometimes positive too so I’ll have to see how that goes.

Also, speaking of forgetting, I just read https://www.fimfiction.net/story/390449/forget-me-not. Pretty good.
>>
I'm finally done with The Winds of Redemption, and there's not much to say about it since it was never finished. I will now give a quick rundown on the story per chapter

1.- A soul can't be cut

>After battling with Raiden, Jetstream Sam wakes up in a white void, with Discord in there as well. Sam, like any human character would, first starts by asking what the hell is he looking at. Then uh...oh I forgot, this is the exposition part of the story, except that: 1.- Discord is being really vague, and 2.- Sam is being a jerk to Discord and just wants to know why he's here in the first place. This is a bit uneasy for me to process, I'll quote this from the fic itself so you understand what's going on

Discord pouted. "Alright, I'll give it straight: I brought you here do a little errand for me. I can't do much myself. Everypony's still on edge, even with my reformation, and bringing you is going to help me reestablish myself."

"What makes you think I'm good PR material?" Sam jested. "I'm a killer, not a businessman."

"Exactly!' he squealed. "There's some nasty stuff going on where I'm from, and I want you in there. It would cause quite the misunderstanding if I starting zapping critters left and right, you see?"

>Discord does his best trying to explain what he wants, but Sam clearly is having none of this shit, so he asks for him to ''return me to Brazil''. Discord then goes, ''Nuff said'', and he sends Sam to some part of the outskirts of the Everfree Forest

[hr]

>Sam now wakes up and fights a couple of Timberwolves. I really think the action could've ben written better, but it's pretty much what you'd expect from Jetstream Sam (taunting and slicing). And all of a sudden, he now faces a Timberwolf, who he can only compare in size to that Ray he fought in WMHQ

>We then cut to Fluttershy taking care of her animals, when suddently, the roar of a massive timberwolf scares her. So she goes, ''W-what if it's hurt'' and goes straght in the forest. However... [CONT]
>>
>>32652352
Buy the print for $200
>>
>>32652259
>you, on 4chan, should know that people here believe in suffering, that it isn't useless and bad, that it's good for you.
I doubt that. Many of us are here to flee from our suffering. Just look at /r9k/.
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>>32652847
>It's worth nothing that the way she decides to venture into the forest it's quite interesting. She first asks herself if she has taken care of a timberwolf before, then she thinks ''But Timberwolves take care of themselves in the woods''. And then another roar causes her to think otherwise, ''It's an endangered animal after all!''.

>All while Angel is having a hard time drinking tee, accompanied by a carrot. The scene finally ends with her asking Angel to take care of the animals and THEN rushing into the woods

2.- Jetstream Sam vs Timberwolf (yes, this is what the capter is named)

This chapter begins with Twilight Sparkle, who is now preparing herself for a visit from Griffonstone representatives in Canterlot in a 200 word information dump. Her duty so far has been preparing them a lovely stay in Canterlot, so her library is filled to the brim with griffon books. There's also some small details that give her character (her lack of sleep, her paranoia over the upcoming event, her rapid-fire way of talking). Spike then tells her to get some sleep by putting a pillow next to her.

However, a giant roar completely kills the mood and Twilight goes full ''NANI'' on this. So much so, that she spills her coffee, but uses her magic to stop the liquid from spilling in her precious books (again, the narrator calls this ''Library Sense'', a minor but lovely detail on her character). She instantly recognizes the roar as that of a big fucking Timberwolf, and thinks ''Sweet baby jesus if Fluttershy heard that, she might have looked into the forest'', so she teleport away leaving spike alone in the library

>Now we cut to Sam, who...in short, he got an A rank while battling the giant Timberwolf (action scenes, while well written, aren't all that exciting to be honest). He then starts looking at some weird glow in the chest of the creature and HUZZAH! A giant ass fuel cell! So he charges his body and starts walking, hoping to find a nearby town [CONT]
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>>32652923
>So Sam then hears something behind him (which he describes as, most likely, a rodent, but it was actually Fluttershy in the bushes going ''Eeeep!''). He says ''Yeah whatever no time for this'' and goes to what looks like a town named ''Ponyville''

Back to Fluttershy, she starts running like crazy through the forest until she bumps into Twilight and explains her what she saw. This is a bit of a character-interaction segment, but I must admit, it's very well handled and I think the author deserves recognition for it (pictured here).

Except for one part in this picture, that I think could do some fixing. I don't think a pegasus that is used to running more than flying should have more endurance than that of the average pegasus.

So of course, Twilight thinks that she should gather up her friends to discuss it, and inform the princesses about this, OH HEY THE CHAPTER ENDED

3.- They See Me Strolling (who names these chapters?)

We see Sam just walking around the forest, with a big smile on his face. He bumps into Fluttershy's house, but ignores it and continues walking the yellow path that leads to Ponyville. When he arrives he goes, ''Oh right, Discord said something about ponies'', but in such a lazy way, and the author justifies this by stating

''He shook his head, amused by the thought of horses acting like civilized humans. Maybe this would not be too bad. With all that he had seen in his life, including, but not limited to, eviscerated bodies, cyborg brain casings, and a nigh-indestructible senator, he was always ready to suspend his disbelief.''

Now we cut to Fluttershy in her house, and a lovely scene plays out with Angel trying to cheer her up by climbing into her mane (again, good character interaction, especially the way the fic handles Angel). Then someone knocks the door, here be the main 6 casually walking in, each asking about the ''monster'' she just saw [CONT]
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>>32652999
actually, I think the scene with angel is one of the best in this story. Here, have a read

Back to the M6, my god. The scene plays out alright, but I specially love the way the characters speak. You can easily identify which one is speaking before the author tells you their names (in Rarity's case this is very well done). Now, they all ask Fluttershy about when she saw her monster, but then she asks if they teleported here instead of walking. They all nod, which means Fluttershy saw Sam casually walking to Ponyville, and they missed that entirely. So they rush through the woods and make way to Ponyville

Sam now enters Ponyville, trying to keep straight face because...colorfull horses it seems. He has mixed feelings and as he keeps exploring, he ponders where the hell did Discord send him. He states how hungry he was, but as he passes through the marketplace he thinks ''No Sam, that's no way of leaving a first impression''. This though stays in Sam for the entirety of the chapters, he is very polite when he needs to, and uses common sense when navigating his surroundings.

Now then, Sam introduces himself to Mayor Mare as ''Minuano'', and then proceeds to react naturally to her name. ''Wait, you mean as in you're the mayor of this place, and because you're a female horse, so...a mare who's a mayor?"

So they talk for a while, all he wants to know is a place for him to rest. Then a couple of guards show up and tell him that the rulers of this land have requested a meeting. He goes, ''Should I slaughter them?...nah! I'm not a criminal'', and gladfully steps out of the Town Hall, where the 4 guards turned into 50. Talk about ''you and what army'', but I'm thankfull this joke wasn't used
I'll cut the review here, I'm heading for work. Tomorrow I'll pick it up from here, but as of now, I want you to enoy this small scene of Angel comforting Fluttershy
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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/231897/frequency
It was all going decently enough up to chapter 9, chapters 10 and 11 were bad, and the final chapter kind of picked things up but was meh either way. The ending was predictable af. I enjoyed the first chapter and the last two sentences in the ending but that's about it. Should've dropped it tb h. Adi acts childish and at times autistic, which makes no sense given the position she had. AU Luna acts stiff and Vinyl devolves throughout the story. And this story teaches very simple and stupid morals and grasps "hope" like some concept difficult to understand. Like I said before this fic has many plot holes that could easily fix the problem. I don't recommend this fic.

>>32652476
Thanks for sharing, just finished it and it ended nicely. Also the characters (granted that there were only a few) were spot on, and I like how the author doesn't write Discord like an autist.
>>32652352
To each their own, pleb.
>>
>>32649243
Just search the archive for "7dsj book 5", with quotes. Every relevant post starts with the ">7dsj, book 5, ch. #" header.
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>>32650588
>baen cds
They're all online too. Just google "baen free library".
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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/29067/trixies-special-performance
cute smol Trixe fic from anon in pony general pls read.
>>
https://youtu.be/vt87H4mHD0o
You anons might like or hate this comfy podcast.
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>>32653671
>anon
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>>32652259
If you don't mind copious amounts of purple prose and dozens of paragraphs of monologues that don't have any relation to the plot.

I got eight chapters into BP before I realized I was skimming through them trying to get to the actually relevant parts and decided it just wasn't worth bothering with.

The "literally nothing you've read matters and everything Lyra did was ultimately futile" ending just confirms for me I got out before it wasted too much of my time.

If you're talking about Empty Horizons, it's good. It has a bit of a weak start with its opening premise, but it picks up once the worldbuilding and "everything's fucked" starts to get going.
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>>32654201
Your mind on AAG, everyone.

You turn into an angry screeching Harry Potter.
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>>32655441
>not knowing about based Kenji
Have you really never played Katawa Shoujo, Anon?
>>
review this story

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/414759/demonic-monster-haunts-twilight-sparkle
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>>32655532
>Demonic Monster has Haunted Twilight Sparkle and she was scared by it.
Present Tense is always a sign to be wary. That you use the very first line in such an overt telly way does you no favours either.

>She looks for answers to what could possibly be the case for what the monster would want.
Unwieldy sentence that could be trimmed down by two thirds.

>In the end, it seems that things are not what they seem.
Possibly the most cliché way to end a synopsis. It just lacked the "Read the story to find out!" at the end.
>>
>>32655560
go on
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>>32655560
isn't that supposed to be past tense?
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>>32655583
While there's technically nothing wrong with writing in present tense, you'll be hard pressed to find any good story, or any story really, written in present tense. Past tense is just the accepted norm.
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>>32655593
what is written isn't present tense though, its past tense.
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>>32655614
Still, if I see that description I'm not going to feel confident in the contents of the story.
>>
>>
How many fics will I need to read before I stop associating the genre with shit like My Immortal? Over the course of my lifetime, I must've read at least 10 fics and I can still only think of one that I consider good enough to recommend, and even that one is notoriously flawed. As far as I can tell, I still believe that the overwhelming majority of fanfic is utter crap.

Am I right? Or am I the sort of person that made Sturgeon come up with his law?
>>
>>32656192
Sturgeon's Law very much applies, and in fact when it comes to fanfics it's more like "99% of everything is crap". So if you were picking stories to read just by browsing the site and/or looking for popular things, it's no surprise you're disappointed. You need to check reviews, let other people do the work of filtering out the 99%, and then you might enjoy what you read.

And reviews let you decide whether they're worth listening to or are complete garbage, by the way, which is one of the reasons why they're a better metric than simply thumbs-up count or popularity rating.
>>
>>32656192
Why wouldn't you want to associate fanfiction with the comedy gem that is My Immortal? The fic which is clearly written poorly as a joke, but manages to be so compellingly incompetent that we all want to believe that it's genuine?

Of course the majority of fanfiction is bad. It's a genre dominated by amateurs, most of them fairly fresh writers, who are likely to be children or manchildren. Our fandom is particularly autistic, making this all the worse. This isn't an excuse, it's a fact.

You've read ten fics, which is a small number for an active reader. As far as I'm concerned you're right, but I don't see why either of our opinions matter much.
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>>32656192
Ten whole fics? Wow. How you have suffered.

I dunno anon, what sort of story are you looking for in your horsewords? Perhaps we can help.
>>
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/130470/hail-mary

So this an interesting topic for me because, the author is doing a "50 Shades Of Grey" (changing the names of the characters to not deal with any copyright issues so that she can publish the fic as a book.)

Her other stories all have similar tropes:

Humanized/non Eqg, AppleDash, and homophobia.

What do you guys think of this?
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>>32656388
>high school AU
>basically earth
>no magic
>characters related to fim in name only
>no hooves

I think you have it the other way around. this is original fiction masquerading as fanfic to get extra readers. there's literally nothing in this to tie it to ponies besides the names.
>>
can somebody recommend a clopfic featuring a human and a mare roleplaying an irl horsefucking. With bridles, whinnies, acting as not sapient etc?
>>
>finish a fic
>too sceptical of the only other fic on my reading list to want to start it
>decide to start reading the 500 page book that my friend wants me to beta read
>5 pages in and I'm already bored
I appear to be in despair.
>>
I believe in (You)
>>
Oh dear, I'm starting to feel nostalgia for The Moon's Apprentice.
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>>32656953
>the only other fic on my reading list
How?
Seriously, how?
I have 200 completed stories in my read later list and almost 300 incomplete ones in my tracking folder. I know there are anons in these threads who have well over a thousand.
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>>32658517
I'm guessing because he's the guy that doesn't read anything with a non-glowing review.
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>>32658517
>>32658575
Anons, if I link my bookshelf could you say if I should take stuff out? It isn't that long. Ik this sounds dickish but I tend to find shitfics quite often. I'm also asking because I never see people linking their fimfic accounts.
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>>32658603
I don't read nearly as much fic as most people in this thread. all I can tell you is stay away from garbage like Displaced.
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>>32658517
It's simple. You just have to have absolutely no interest in the genre. Since I can't think of a good metaphor and you clearly want honesty, I'll just dump my entire history with fanfic (not just fimfic) and hope that you'll understand. Sorry if this comes out a bit messy, I'm ill at the moment and should really be in bed.

>unless you're generous enough to call porn or fan parodies fanfics, the first fics that I can ever remember reading are My Little Dashie and Rainbow Factory. I also read a sequel to Rainbow Factory at some point, but that's not relevant and was largely unintentional
>was browsing Tv Tropes one day, decided to click on the list of examples from fanfic for some particular trope
>saw a work titled 'Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality'
>couldn't fucking resist that title, had to go and find out more
>my experience with that fic is its own big story, so I'll spare you the details and say that I ended up reading a chapter or two and got hooked
>ended up reading the entire thing, despite the fact that I was busy at uni during that time. I was totally hooked, on more than one occasion I went from like 5pm to 5am just reading the fucking thing
>spent a while baiting /lit/ and /tv/ with it, I loved it and I wanted it to spread, but I soon learned that it was a deeply hated work
>eventually finished the fucking thing, but couldn't quite pin down where it went right and wrong
>Google didn't give me answers and I really didn't want to make a Reddit account, so I baited wherever I could (discussion of fanfic is forbidden on /lit/, so I had no choice but to bait, it's not as if you can get a discussion of this shit going on /b/ or /trash/)

cont
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>>32658680
>I'll just dump my entire history with fanfic
Please don't.
>>
>>32658517
>>32658680
>eventually found my answers, but more importantly, anons started mentioning and recommending other fics
>learned about the rationalfic genre and dived in to the likes of FiO and The Moon's Apprentice, although I was generally unimpressed when I asked for any other recommendations
>Additionally, Tv Tropes told me about HPMOR's sequel fics, so I did some research and give a few of them a try. Well, I read a few of the one-shots, ignored any unfinished or abandoned fics, rejected a lot of the sequel fics before even trying them (I did my research), and dropped quite a few of them early on in to reading them. In the end, I only finished Following the Phoenix and I've just started Significant Digits
>thus my possible avenues for adding fics to my reading list was exhausted.

In addition to this, there's two factors that I should mention. Mostly because they answer the obvious follow-up question of "then why aren't you looking for more fics and/or reading whatever is generally help up to be a masterpiece?":
>I'm busy as fuck. Aside from things like post here, which only take small amounts of time and can easily be seen as an efficient break, I don't have the time to do anything for the sake of fun. The few things that I do for pleasure, I do out of a lack of self-control. If I wasn't addicted to HPMOR and TMA, I never would have finished them. In short, I have little desire to even seek out good fics.
>I'm a true believer in Sturgeon's Law and due to my business, I've had little time to enjoy the best works of pretty much any genre. Why would I choose to read fanfic, when I could be working my way through the huge list of masterpieces that I've never even touched? Even if it turns out that say, I don't enjoy Citizen Kane, The Disney movies, and Mario 64, I'd still have a lot of fun arguing about them with people who did, so it's hard to imagine me losing.

Hopefully that helps, but in short, my list is empty because I don't truly want to expand it.
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>>32658603
sure, go ahead.
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>>32658726
>sure, go ahead.
You're good people, anon. Here are my favorites up until now for reference. https://www.fimfiction.net/bookshelf/1095405/favourites
And here's my list: https://www.fimfiction.net/bookshel
f/1095406/read-it-later
>>
>>32658680
>>32658722
read new "risky" stuff and drop it if you don't like it. if you refuse to read anything besides the sub-sub-genre (in this case, rationalfics) that you already like, you're not going to find the other stuff you enjoy due to a simple selection effect. remember, sturgeon's law is a fractal; 90% of your favorite genre is going to be junk, so the more kinds of story you read the more good stories you can find.

divorce yourself from the idea that you have to finish every story you start. if something starts good and turns terrible, dump it. if something starts really bad, dump it. if something starts a bit awkward but with potential, I'd say keep with it for 15-20k words and dump it if it doesn't start improving.

branch out, and don't be afraid of dropping something you don't enjoy. you'll find a lot of gems you'd otherwise have overlooked, and you won't have your time wasted.
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>>32658722
Here, we made a list a few years ago of what's considered to be pretty good by genre a few years back. Maybe something there will pique your interest.
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Well after constantly seeing it featured, "Surviving Sand Island" has finally finished. Wonder if I should read it.
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>>32658815
>It's a Dangerous Business, Goi
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>>32658811
This is pretty solid advice.
>>32658815
>>32658722
I've barely read anything here, but from the little that I have I can tell you that whatever you do, DO NOT READ A Puppet to her Fame. It's trash.
>>
>>32658722
90% of all references to Sturgeon's Law are crud.

Jokes aside, I understand your situation. You're clearly too busy to read, spending all that valuable time baiting /lit/, reading TvTropes, reviewing My Litte Pony fanfiction, arguing with people about various classics, and describing your subjective experience of a Harry Potter fanfic as its "own big story", as if it mattered to any other living being. Being full of oneself is rather time-consuming. Sturgeon should know, he spent his time making repeated attempts to name laws after himself.
"I've had little time to enjoy the best works of pretty much any genre", you take the time to write, in a fanfiction thread that surely must not be in the top 90% of what's available to you. I can't think that any of the aforementioned activities would fall within that 10% of truly good either, so for someone who's such a strong proponent of this law, you sure seem to spend a lot of time on what's entirely mediocre. It's almost as if this belief of yours is weak or dishonest.

Originally, Sturgeon had intended "Sturgeon's Law" to be "nothing is always absolutely so", which I think applies rather well to his more famous law.
When it comes to laws, I much prefer the insight of Rudyard Kipling:
"Four-fifths of everybody's work must be bad. But the remnant is worth the trouble for its own sake."
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>>32658852
>>32658722
Fucking BODIED. Good shit.
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>>32658771
I have to go out in a bit, but I can give it a quick glance.
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/20116/white-box
I think this is the one story I've red which effectively uses the coloured text gimmick to mean something rather than the author trying to be different/and or lazy with said tags.
If you don't feel like reading the GDocs, the story itself has an interesting premise and a is a solid read overall.

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/35830/of-age
This one snuck the species war on me, but I won't complain. While I wouldn't call it great, it's still an enjoyable love/action story. If you like Sparity, definitely give it a look.

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/165987/until-the-last-pony-is-ferried
You have a lot of skirts stories in there. I read this one a couple of years ago and liked it. It's length is a positive, because it doesn't drag itself to the point where the end reveal is too obvious. Neat premise, decent execution.

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/384845/carry-me-home
The last couple of chapters hit me quite hard. Maybe I just relate to the situation presented, or I'm just that much of a wuss, but I loved it. It does a great job in presenting the passage of time as viewed by Spike and the way some of the M6 age is heartbreaking. Absolutely recommended.

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/106/silent-ponyville
Now that's a story I haven't seen in years. I liked it quite a lot, for what it is. It's not bad, but not deep either. The best I can say is that it's engaging and builds up a good atmosphere. Also, I'm still butthurt about Silent Hills.

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/98069/chasing-winter
There aren't many trixie adventure fics out there, but this one stands among the better ones I've read. The story leaves some minor aspects underdeveloped in a way which could set up for a sequel, but still presents a solid, self-contained adventure. Pretty cool.
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>>32658924
I didn't want to bother you with the synopsis', just if there were fics you might think have bad writing and such. I won't complain though, this is better than what I asked. Thank you. Also yeah I like SS&E's purple shit, it makes my dick strong and healthy.
>>
Why do all my stories get ignored? Fuck this, I'm just gonna spam in fimfiction till I get banned.
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>>32658817
I flipped through it a while back to see if the sex scenes were any good. they weren't (T rated, so not surprising), but the writing seemed decent and I got hints of a fairly complex plot. I may give it a read myself now that it's done, although I don't think any single story needs to be 400k words
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>>32659052
If a story gets to be that long, then the author doesn't know how to pace things, doesn't know how to structure an endind, the story is full of filler, or the author was afraid of a sequel not being as popular as the original work, so he just kept the story going and there's actually three stories sewn together into one.
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>>32657710
Remember the good things about it and let the internal monologue chapters fade away from memory, that way you'll keep a pleasant experience in your mind and you'll enjoy recollecting it fondly.
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>>32659045
Good idea, its way better than to write stories for an ungrateful public. I know, that's why I don't write stories since I know there won't be a need to do it.
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>>32659052
You haven't seen AAG then. Or 7DSJ for that matter...
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>>32658811
> divorce yourself from the idea that you have to finish every story you start.
This is fantastic advice. I remember back in my "all horsewords are awesome" phase where I was reading anything and chucking it into my favourites, I would faithfully finish every single story I started. The day I suddenly realized I was bored, there was no point to keep reading the story, and so dropped it, was a complete turning point in how I read and enjoyed fanfics.

Of course then I got tired of doing my own selection and just started going through lists of recommendations, but that's besides the point.
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>>32658815
What do the numbers signify? My initial thought was votes but since this is supposed to be the winners that can't be right (given all the negative stories).
>>
>>32659076
those are soap operas, which don't have endings even planned until they run out of money. I wouldn't call shink's mad opuses single stories, just collections of arcs.
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>>32659084
>What do the numbers signify?
fancy mathematics
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>>32658722
> Hopefully that helps, but in short, my list is empty because I don't truly want to expand it.
So I don't get it, are you complaining or did you just come to blogpost? At first I assumed the former, but if you simply don't want to expand, then I don't see what the problem is. It it's the latter then why are you even here?
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>>32659052
Longest fic I've read is 3.5 million words of Pokemon fanfic. I guess technically two fics cause it's a story and its sequel but still.
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>>32659310
>3.5 million words of Pokemon fanfic
I don't know if I should be impressed or disappointed in the author
What fanfic was it, by the way?
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>>32659435
Definitely disappointed. The sequel is dead and incomplete anyways. It was Latias' Journey and Brave New World. Latias' Journey was... fine but Brave New World is a complete clusterfuck with so much stupid shit thrown in, the author clearly had no internal editor.
>>
>>32659088
Well, he did write some story based on a Twilight Zone episode, seemingly unconnected to any of that madhouse shit. Wonder if anybody's read it?
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>>32659785
Which story is it?
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Some people work on their vacations. Me, I read trash.

It's time to relive all those moments we treasure: that time a girl graduated college in four years, the time she turned into a shapeshifting sin against sunbutt, the time she met all main characters from the show in the FiM fanfic template format, and the time she broke an autistic alicorn's heart. That's right, it's time for:

DISPLACED ACT 3 INTRO: LUNA RECAPS THE PLOT

As the chapter begins, we find ourselves suddenly thrust into a Tom Clancy novel:
>CANTERLOT
>NIGHT GUARD HQ
>06:26 HOURS

I don't know how the fuck we're seeing this action because Jello hasn't developed omniscience yet, anyway, but the action opens with two night guards stopping the ghost of hamlet's dad as he attempts to meet with the Princess:

>The unicorn’s voice was slow and had a rasp to it, as if he’d gone permanently hoarse from screaming chants in numerous drunken fits, “I have a meeting with Princess Luna. I was told to be here by Six Thirty.”

Turns out he's a professor. There are some who call him... Mark. No, seriously, that's his name. We then have an extended sequence where the night guards scan him and generally act like the pony TSA before he's allowed his audience with moonbutt. He finally pushes through and sees Luna getting her cosplay outfit together:
>Near the corner, a tall, slender, dark blue alicorn looked over the blade of a crystal-bladed claymore held in her magic, starfield mane shimmering as it danced in the flow of the planet’s thaumosphere.

We suddenly take a dive from the bizarre into the insane when Luna asks the doctor about his trip:
>“Took the night train.” he said with a twitch, “Didn’t sleep: too open, no wards. Took a bit of cocaine to stay sharp. Got a couple hits left... Want some?”
>Luna waved him off, “Not at the moment: I do not generally partake. I find it clouds the mind once the effect wears off.”

Apparently the night guard need some new drug dogs.
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>>32659862
boy, oh boy
we're off to a great start
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>>32659809
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/413393/relentless
>>
>>32659862
Turns out that Luna is getting her aerial squadrons ready for an early-morning raid on Twilight's castle. Setting their air chariots up in a five meter spread and checking their stock of five-five-sixers and pineapples, the troops head out.

Mark Crowley (yes, I am not joking) asks Luna why the hell she interrupted his coke binge at 6AM, and is informed that less than a week prior there was a huge dimensional breach. Luna is concerned that the deep ones have invaded her world.

She then does exactly what we're here for and spends several paragraphs recapping the plot up through chapter three, describing Jello's reconstitution and release. We get a charming little bit of character assassination when she mentions that "Twilight's assistant had a nervous breakdown and left for two days".

While the author's incessant need to re-tell the same events over and over again is excruciating, I am relieved to finally see someone besides Spike treating the situation with the proper gravity. I know that Sue is going to steamroll Luna and her faithful military forces because this is Jello's tale, but at least we don't have to feel like we're taking crazy pills anymore.

Still, we have to pause to remind the audience that bookhorse is super intelligent:
>He took a moment to ponder the situation, “Princess Twilight, she’s a pretty smart cookie I gather?”
>Luna nodded back, putting a single hoof on the front of the chariot as the pegasi began their final descent, “Prodigial. Possibly one of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever come into contact with."
Ah, but that's because you haven't met Jello yet, Luna.

We continue our baffling foray into military fiction with this line, which is so over-the-top that it becomes endearing:
>“She is unspoiled, Crowley. She has not watched the light fade from a creature’s eyes as she strangled its last breath away with her own two hooves, nor has her innocence been washed in the blood of companions and lovers."

>lovers
lol
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>>32659932
Luna stares into the abyss:
>"They who wish to fight monsters must know them personally, and in doing so, must forge greater monsters out of ourselves...”

Mark, still shaking off the effects of his last snort of powder, grumbles as the chariots land on a muddy road, using the words "bucking" and "shit" in the same sentence. You know, if "buck" was actually a swear word in this setting, AJ and AB would be incredibly profane. While that could work, I really don't think that's what the show was ever going for.

Now, we inexplicably take Mark's complaining about the road quality as an excuse to learn about the tragic demise of Luna's lovers, all murdered by the insidious forces of public sanitation:
>“Back in mine own day, I and my knights would ride through the night with our hooves dirtied from the refuse of Everfree’s street.”
>“Yeah, and how many of you got infections from cutting your hooves on rocks in the road after wading through shit?”
>Luna tossed her head back, “It was a time before we understood such things. I lost many close companions, some of them even lovers, to illness in that time before we fully understood disease. The knowledge that may have saved them only makes their deaths more tragic, no less noble.

Clearly this is why Luna wants Jello dead, she's got PTSD about puddles.
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>>32659971
Mark acts like a dick and mocks her dead paramours and their general cleanliness. Luna quite kindly asks him not to be an insensitive asshole to Twilight like he is to her, and Mark responds:
>Crowley rolled his eyes, muttering again, “Well excuuuse me, Princess.”

After a short break to summon up the willpower to continue reading, we follow the two of them into the castle. They're greeted by a perky Twilight, who manages to hide the fact that she's been up all night sobbing her eyes out, and inform her that they've brought pony swat with them. Twilight is confused, asking why she's brought enough troops with her to take over Grenada, and Luna replies:
>“Princess Twilight, I am sorry to darken your day, but I believe that the being you refer to as ‘Meta’, whether she knows it or not, is in no way what she claims to be.”

... and then the chapter just ends, mid-dialogue. We don't even get an ellipsis! Well, at least it was mercifully short. I suppose we'll pick up tomorrow and see if love can truly bloom on a battlefield.
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>>32659862
>starfield mane shimmering as it danced in the flow of the planet’s thaumosphere
>thaumosphere
If nothing else, this story's taught me a new word
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>>32659987
What kind of fucking guy listens to someone talk about how they lost many close friends to infection, and responds with 'ah, fuck 'em. They didn't know what we know, literally thousands of years later.'
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>>32660471
clearly those dumb fucks should have pulled germ theory out of the conceptual plane.
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>>32660521
>The Year of Our Princesses 1008
>not pulling knowledge out of the conceptual plane
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>>32659971
I just want us to appreciate the fact that Luna has lost not one, but numerous lovers to the dangers of hoof infection. Let's not question why she continued to make her lovers wade through shit.
If only horses had some sort of natural protection against cutting their feet on rocks.

In fact, fuck this story, I now want to read a story about a heartbroken Luna discovering Germ theory to avenge her fallen fuckbuddies. Something like the story of John Snow, but with horses stepping in shit.
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>>32660553
>the death of shit-wallower mcgee drives Luna into a mad quest to discover the cause of gangrene
>she's closing on the cure, but needs a few more hours for her experiment to run
>refuses to lower the moon because she's going to save millions
>banished for a thousand years, which she spends studying moon biology and unlocks the secret of washing your hooves
>returns to find that the royal plumbers solved that problem two months after she was banished
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>>32658811
>divorce yourself from the idea that you have to finish every story you start. if something starts good and turns terrible, dump it
I really need to get good at doing that. I've read far too many works that go to shit past the halfway point.

>>32658852
My main point is how long this sort of stuff takes. Stuff like posting here takes barely any mental effort and tends not to steal hours from me, but reading fanfic or watching movies does.
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>>32659096
There was still some discussion from last thread that was holding my interest, such as anon's posts about Displaced. Once this thread dies I most likely won't come back here.
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Man I kinda hope my stories never get found by y'all.
Think I'd get rekt.
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>>32660960
Post link
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>>32660960
pl0x post link
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>>32660960
do eet
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>>32660960
>Browses a board made out of a little girls show
>Makes literature out of said show
>Afraid of showing it because fear of criticism

>Not posting it regardless of what everyone would think of it




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