Faustian EditionPrevious Thread: >>41346249 (Dead)Fauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:https://ponepaste.org/1046Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.inRemember:not to save anything of value on Pastebinignore all attempts at early new threadsignore new threads by the cheerimac poster
GOD DAMNITfucked up previous bread linkprevious bread >>41355506i is dumb
a mare will never rape you. she will never forcibly envelop your holy rod with her slimy little horse cunt and milk every last drop until she's knocked herself up and you're forced to marry her. she will never encourage her friends to do the same. you will never be forced to live with a herd of rapists until you all develop varying degrees of stockholm and lima syndrome.
>>41419439you cannot rape the willing!
>>41419439what's lima syndrome?
>>41419462l-lima ballsit's when the kidnapper bonds with their victim
>>41419439You'll never hear her moan right before you feel her tighten and back your ass against the wall. You'll never be trapped between a hot cunt and a hard wall while she rolls her hips and uses you to massage her erogenous zones. You'll never slowly accept your role as her pussy filling and start greeting her with a martini and a hard cock. Why even live?
>hfw you're about to take away her book because you're both going to be late for horse-church>hfw she was just about to get to the good part too>tfw at least she's going to get a nice lunch after it
Repoasting the second last thread's archive link one last time, just to boost the odds of future trawlers not losing continuity.https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41346249/
>>41419639You're doing God's work anon, that lazy bastard.
>>41419678I saw what you deleted
>>41419615Twilight knows horse-god personally, i'm pretty sure we don't have to go to church.
>>41419692But that would mess up her plans for the day.Also how would the horse church react to The new goddess the alicorn twilight, dating a human, especially if they are very conservative.
>>41419738But Twilight is a unicorn
>>41419764*was a unicorn
>>41419689I tried, pls no bully me.
>>41419764She is my alicorn, and I love her very much, but I also scold her and drag her into public, when she wants to stay inside and read books, before getting very handsy in front of everypony.The horse church is kinda fun to mock.
>>41419738The Canterlot Orthodox Princess Church would decry this development as pagan. Twilight's ascension alone threatened their stranglehold on the political aspects of pony faith, and now this demon haunts the inside of Her vagina!?However, out in the wilder reaches of Equestria, there are those who remember the tales from before the princesses...
>>41419844The fabled Unity between Pony and Human.
>"Let me reiterate this to you young mare.">"You're not a sigma, you're not a Trixie, you're not what you call a colt rizzler or whatever inane mares of today they call themselves.">"No amount of time travel and self-proclaimed titles will get you some dick in your flabby, unhygienic cave you call a vagina.">"You know how real mares take colts back in the day? By force.">"No swooping, no digging holes, no sticking diamonds in the outer lips of your desperate dry deserts you call a labia. By Force.">"I once took an entire townsworth's of stallions and never broke a sweat after the 12 hour coitus.">"I ruined those colts for their mares and I watched in silent mirth as their marriages crumble in real time.">"After that I had entire harem of colts dutifully standing by my side, awaiting for their turn to plow my tight, blessed pussy.">"So before you begin saying that I am a no clit, no tits, no bitches mare, remember that at one point your colt ancestors were eating me out right in front of your mare ancestors."
>>41420290Sigh>unzips dick
>>41419738It would be like when major right wing conservatives have their search history leaked and it turns out they jerk it to trannies. They'd deride her in public but in secret they're jealous
>>41420368>>41419844Fuck I want a green of this, Anon and twilight are dating, maybe some fetish shit if found out, like how twilight likes wearing collars or is really submissive, and this vast political shit storm happens.That engulfs equestia even, twilights freinds taking some sides, saying things like you should not treat Anon that way there is no way a fair prince like Anon wants to put a collar on you and spank you he is a sweetie, and so pure that he probably does not know what he is doing.
>>41420290>The next day>Canterlot Herald>"Princess Luna admits to mass rape of stallions! Thousands flood the street in protest! Diarchy silent!">Griffenstone Observer>"How will the turmoil in Equestria effect the economy?">Ponyville Organizer>"Princess Twilight remains sequestered! Pinkie Pie mouths the cherries!">Diamond Dog Gazette>"Who can truly call themselves a good boy? Philosophers debate."
>>41419844>this demon haunts the inside of Her vaginaI am suddenly reminded of a TERRIBLE comic that I hadn't thought of in years.>pic related
>>41420695>Thousands flood the street in protest!So thousands of volunteers, then? Luna may be a powerful alicorn with a thousand years of pent up lust, but I'm not sure she has the stamina for that.
>>41420460Actually now that I think of it I kinda want a kinder twist, like the church is mad that Anon is giving cuddles to his mare, and being a good leader. Kinda like that green where Lyra and Twilight fought weather Anon was a slut or a king, with pool noodles well he slept in the park.So they write a bunch of articles that says a bunch of mean things about him.
>>41419615>twilight is attending her own horse-church
>>41420695>Pinkie Pie mouths the cherries!"fucking got me
>>41420290She’s hasn’t had any for a thousand years. Her hole is real estate for cobwebs.
>>41419692Brony church. Or Celestia will smite you.
>>41421476She can come down and try. I’ve seen how well she does in a fight.
>>41420290damn... my human stamina can't compete with that
>>41422007That's a cute fanfiction you have, dear
>>41422106Princess watch out for that plastic bag!!!!
>look mom, I posted it again!!!!
Im surprised we dont get more siren storys and greens considering there are several divers in the general and a few that know something about cave exploration
>"You WILL come to Equestria.">"You WILL find a nice mare.">"You WILL go on numerous dates and find a lot in common.">"You WILL wait until marriage, then have 3-7 horse children.">"You WILL becoming a loving, successful horsehusband.">"You WILL be happy and content.">"You WILL go to horse church every Sunday and leave offerings of peetzer at the Cadence shrine.">"Extra pepperoni and extra cheese please."
>>41423012Nice try, Rabbi. I WILL die alone, and I WILL put pineapple on my pizza.
>>41423022>I WILL put pineapple on my pizza.>I WILL die aloneNo kidding.
>>41423062I'm already at rock bottom, might as well embrace it with a slice of Hawaiian pizza.
Does applejack put apples on her pizza?
>>41423187She puts pizza on her apples
>>41423131>Puts pineapple on his pizza.>Wonders why his life is shit.You don't say?
>>41423062>>41423022>>41423131>>41423274I like pineapples on my pizza, but me and my dad call it 'za.
>Appul clan puts apples on their pizza.>Thestrals put mango/moth on theirs.>The pies put rocks on theirs.>Dragons put gemstones on theirs.>Griffons put raw meat on theirs.>Changlings put goop on theirs.>Yaks and buffalos don't get pizza.But pineapple is taboo?
>Be Anon>Want to do something nice for Appulpone>She's been really helpful since you got here, despite being kind of sexist>Decide to make your mother's baked apple recipie>Granny Smith apples, butter, cinnamon, sugar, etc cooked in a crockpot for hours, till the apples are nice and soft>Tell Appul to meet you at your house so you can give her something>She shows up and for once doesn't smell of barnyard>Did she wash her hat, too?>Whatever>Invite her into the kitchen and make her a bowl of baked apples"Here, I wanted to make you something as a thanks for helping me">Appul eats the whole bowl then gets quiet>Did you do something wrong? Was it bad?>Be Applejack>The weird alien that moved to town has made you an apple based dish that was delicious>How are you going to find his mother and ask her for his hoof in marriage?>What would an alien accept as a dowry?>Begin fretting
>>41424334Now this is the start of a nice green. I'd love to see a story of Anon doing unintentional marriage proposals (Because he is unfamiliar with the culture) for the mane 6 leading to them trying to accept or propose all at once.
>Twilight wants to improve Ponyville's perception of Anon.>Devises a plan: convinces AJ, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash to let him foalsit the crusaders for a day.>Anon is seen chasing the three fillies through Ponyville the whole day trying to keep them out of trouble.>Anon is TOO popular now.>Twilight begins to make another plan.
>>41424495So what's her plan then?
>>41424495claim him for herself. Obviously. That, or ruin him for every other mare by finding some overt flaw? Something that would make him a good friend, but a terrible husband. What could that be?
>>41424495>>41424641She fucks up and Anon becomes the Mr.Roger and hank hill of horseland, sweater included...family Fyn with propane;3
>>41425262"Fun"Not Fyn.
>>41425266. . .Someone should write a Mr. Rogers in RGRE green. I'm not really qualified, I didn't watch him as a kid. Watch him try to change society for the better(?).What work would a Mr. R. type character need to do to make things better? Surely, Twilight would appreciate the work?
I need me a nice Anon to fill the hole in my marely life.
>>41423022Well, the second part's based.I quit pizza because I'm trying to slim down, but my go-to pie was always three meats, pineapple, and black olives.
Remember to wash your sweaty mare.
>>41426273>implying my waifu doesn't have to go out of her way to ensure my dental hygiene is acceptable3
>>41426273Oh. She was a white mare this whole time?
>>41426273I can see her in a real-life bullet hell where she's dodging bubbles floating through the room.
would you let a marecel >rape you?
>>41426995if they're still a marecel, they're too much of a coward to >rape
>>41426995Depends on the marecel.
>>41426995No. I would frustrate a marecel until she rapes me.
>>41427038>MAKE SAND MY WICHwhat the fuck did Spitfire mean by this?
>>41428298She hates sand because it gets everywhere, so she had her vacation sunglasses custom-made, but they misspelled a word
>>41426995Marecels wouldn't rape, they're disenfranchised, lonely, and have probably given up hope already after years of being invisible. The days of the unhinged sunhat tippers and Marble's day of reckoning are gone.
>>41426995It's not rape if you like it~
This thread needs more trains in it, if you know what I mean.
>10Mares cry bout male whimsy but without a husband to chase around they just drink beer and dig holes all day I swear
I know the story list has all the stories but what are your anons fav RGRE or regular stories with the mane 6 X anon? Fimfiction or green.
>>41430058I like Junior (the one with anonfilly as anon's kid), all four chapters of it. Gynophobia has really good worldbuilding and isn't simply 'Take 1950s social norms and swap the sexes' but the author is really insecure and might never finish it at this rate.
>>41430071He's insecure about his writing?
>>41430077Seems to be. Another anon in this thread wrote a pretty in-depth critique that included a bunch of glowing praise and meaningful/constructive criticism on some other aspects and the author basically ignored all the praise and acted like everyone hated it.It has over 4k views and 300 likes despite being less than a year old over 5 years after FiM ended- I get flabbergasted when I check my ponepaste and anything has over 100 views lol.Still, don't let me put you off- it's genuinely great and I hope the author gets over this shit.
>>41430249Yeah I'm gonna read it regardless. I love wholesome anon/human x pony stuff. Kind of boring when it's just sex
>>41430256it's not anon x pony, sorry. I guess I saw>RGRE or regular with the mane 6 x anonand didn't assume that applied to RGRE. Idk I'm kind of retarded, sorry.
>>41430564All good, I'll still read it regardless
I'm sad the fic Anon vs RGRE lays discontinued.
>>41430589Don't recall that one. Got a link?
Remember, little NEET mares need love too.
>>41432310punishing neetmare who wont wake up at a decent hour by surprise proneboning her in her bed
>>41431106https://www.fimfiction.net/story/426699/anon-vs-rgre
>>41432564I remember reading this; it was utter garbage, even by Rgre standards.I'm pretty sure some loser in highschool wrote this as a self insert fantasy.
>>41432310What little NEET mares really need is some actual fucking nutrition
>>41432930Monster Energy is nutrition. It has vitamin b and stuff.
>>41433038https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-SzYOOQAHHo&pp=ygUidGVjaG5vYmxhZGUgaXQncyBoaWdoIGluIHZpdGFtaW4gYg%3D%3D
>>41432917Oh it wasn't THAT bad, there's definitely worst out there.
>>41433143>We profess our sorrow for thine poor taste in fiction, sister.>Prithee, read this tale and assume some airs of culture, lest even thine student loses respect for thee.https://ponepaste.org/588
>>41433376common anon is not that bad.
>>41432917Gotta say I'm with you on this..
>>41433376Good read.
>>41433376Of course the Luna Poster goes with a gaming story.... That being said love me some snafu. Solid 10/10 RGRE author.
>>41432564>>41433143>>41433394>Omg, a mare is sucking my dick! Staaph! But I'm not gay though, just edgy!>Everyone takes me seriously because I say fuck in each sentence.>Yes anon, all stallions are mentally retarded, but we always "take care of them." Why would that be creepy?>But not you Anon. You're special, so we will just let you wander around with minimal supervision.Luna poster is right...
We've all joked around with the "haha, stallions get dumber and more irrational the longer they go without having their balls drained in cute sexist mare snatch", but what if it were real and Caramel is very concerned for you? Not real to the extent of the old prompt about ponies going too long without hugs exploding due to magic destabilization, but real nonetheless.
>>41433966DESU I could see it. Imagine if they start to get dumber, and revert to old horsier mentality. They start to forget the "proper order" of things, and suddenly any hole is a goal? Turns out the Stallionist whimsy is a bred in trait by the ancestors, pre-sisters, to try and keep the males from being absolutely barbaric?
>>41433966It is the natural state of the stallion to chase after their foals with powerful long legs.
>>41434087That's pretty accurate. In real life it isn't uncommon for wild stallions to form all male herds and go around being absolute maniacs until one of them finds a real herd. Heck, these stallions will literally kill a foal in order to mate with the mother.
>>41433803Another devastating W for the>RGRE is a fantasy about using infinity social leverage to be a potty mouth at authority with impunityExplanation. I just want to read a story written by somebody who would take to being special with dignity and grace.
>>41434672Quite common in a lot of mammals actually. If they didn't want their foal to die should have fucked a stronger stallion.
>>41434966>I just want to read a story written by somebody who would take to being special with dignity and graceHere you go:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/510588/blurring-realities
>>41435316>donutsteel prologue>"But it wasn't his eyes or his terrible mane and tail keeping skills that made her and the others avoid him, they had even made efforts to ignore it, but his attitude was as horrendous as his bed head.>"Rude was not in it. He would often go off on other foals for merely being in his way when they came home from school. Rumors swirled that he projected that attitude to everypony, including teachers!">pic relatedI'm not writing it off, I'm gonna continue.But I'm concerned. I'm very concerned.
>>41435739Fair enough, but you did ask for a special snowflake.The story gets better when he gets antagonists that are not fellow foals and he achieves his goal of solitude.
>>41435851>goal of solitude.Or rather, independence.
>>41435587>Internal half door to bedroom/office.Weird.
>>41435316>anthroNo.
>>41435857Could be an old nursery room they never bothered to change the door on. I've noticed a lot of nurseries have half doors.
>>41436195Sometimes I just like to reimagine anthro ponies as feral ponies if the writing is good enough.
>>41436337Kind of goes full circle at that point.Return to monke. But it's poner.
>>41435316>Holy crap! Thank you all so much for putting this story back on the Featured list: 01-19-22Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!>He wasn't given much in the way of option.ESL>Randomly chosen, not by fate, but chance itself, Orion must navigate a world so familiar yet so different. The rules are odd, the forces that turn this new world frightening. A ruler whose motivations and goals seem to contradict each other will threaten his freedom.ESL tries to be poetic>And why oh why does he have to go through puberty, again.ESL tries to be funny>>41435851>but you did ask for a special snowflakeAnon, the dialogue in >>41435739 does not sound like>somebody who would take to being special with dignity and grace.
>>41436477>Thanks for the [feature], kind stranger!Something that other story will never get, and how is thanking others for the feature a bad thing?>He wasn't given much in the way of option.>ESLOr a typo? All that is missing is an "s.">ESL tries to be poeticThe prose is fine. The biggest issue with the intro is how vague it is, but since you're looking in the RGRE stories, you can probably deduce from the title and this intro that this will be a "new life" adventure novel with RGRE elements.>>And why oh why does he have to go through puberty, again.>ESL tries to be funnyOr just imply that the mc is a reborn human without explicitly spelling it out.>Anon, the dialogue in >>41435739# does not sound like "somebody who would take to being special with dignity and grace."That comes after the character arc so you don't think they are a mary/gary stu.Later on they act pretty mature.>>41436195I forgot about that, but I find it can be ignored for the most part as you don't have to actually look at anthros.
>>41433803I just think all transformation fics are pretty gay. Why would I want to be a pony when I can fuck one instead while also being a dangerous omnivore?
>>41436952I dunno, I find transformation kind of funny when Anon is the bizarre alien whom nobody really knows what to make of.... but then due to some magical mishap or another, winds up as a stallion and the mares have to deal with the fact that he's suddenly hot now.
>>41436952I like transformation as a storytelling device. Anon, while typically able to make ponies go "Woah", is limited to being a mere stallion in Equestria. Before he could get away with a plethora of whimsy thanks to being a thing from beyond the stars; but now, he's subject to the same rules and expectations as everypony else.
>>41437400Apple Bloom stop spying, you bucking creep!
>>41438515I would do all kinds of crazy handholding techniques with Aria
>A truly majestic mare>You really should be her horseband
>Want to go on fishing trip with your waifu>Fishermares won't let you on the boat because it would be bad luck
>>41439124
Anyone know what the Superman rgre green was called? The one from this pic
If a sunhat is rgre's fedora equivalent, does that mean the girl in a sundress and sunhat would be a stallion in a suit and fedora? Is a mysterious, cute stallion in a suit and fedora you meet in the summer of your youth a common trope in rgre?
>>41441045Maybe back in the day.
>>41441874>tfw ywn have a tradhorseband that dresses up every day just for you
>>41440149This is really cute, a short would be nice from the perspective of some guardsmares that are really excited to meet the new princesses who has saved their nation so many times, thinking she is this total Trixie Only to see this, the princesses begging the ape alien thing to put her down so she can read more
>>41441732me at 5'6"
Would you tease a nerdy mare until she snaps and "rapes" you?
>>41441956Nerdy and other beta mares don't actually rape. They're too scared and beaten down by society.
>>41442807In the wise words of another anon, I don't want to fuck younger mares. I want to fuck the schoolteacher.
>>41442807
>>41443168Imagine the marely power she'd have, swinging her gravid belly around in class. Knowing every foal above a certain age knows she's got a future classmate inside her right now. Knowing said foals know she got railed.Now imagine you come to your wife's school for some potluck or some shit. Now they know who the father is. Now all these young, hormonal mares are imagining the two of you in the act. Apple Bloom just fainted from dehydration.>>41443597Your boner knows what's good and right. You ought to listen to it more often.
>>41436697Can you post the non ant-sized version?
>Be Chrysalis>Mightiest of the Changelings>Many are your titles, Queen, Matriarch, Skinwalker, Insect of Insects, Heartbreaker>Mom>Hey, they can't all be winners>Your last and most recently acquired title was given to you by your son, Anonymous>You still remember the day he crashed into your life>Well, “crashed” wasn’t the right word, you didn’t even realize he was there until your guards came running to report the situation>He appeared in the hive, without warning, and began gallivanting around as if he owned the place amidst a clamoring chaos he had caused>You still never found out how he started those fires despite being so small>But still, there you found him, a strange, fleshy, bipedal creature, surely no older than a foal from your best guess, though slightly taller than one due to his bipedal stature, garbed in what seemed to be clothes made from either animal skin or animal by products>Apparently his small size, speed and the unpredictability of his young mind made it difficult for your drones to catch him>When you had settled the matter and calmed your soldiers, you began interrogating the creature>Despite your attempts to instill fear in the alien creature, he seemed to almost like you>You're still not used to that idea>Whether it was due to or in spite of the naivety of his youth he actually found your transformations amusing, and insisted you continued, as if you were one of those clown ponies that caked themselves in pounds of makeup>After banging your head on a wall to rid yourself of the headache he had caused, you capitulated to simply talking with the creature, and finally began to get some answers>From the fantastical tales he told, you could only come to the conclusion that he was from another world>Outrageous as the idea was, it was only half as outrageous as how he had described his home>Either way, you quickly found him to be of no use, and decided to do away with him, as you did any wandering vagrant>A quick drain of his love, then leave him near-ish to civilization, to let the hyenas raise him maybe>Except the quick drain took longer than you imagined>Then it took even longer, and longer and longer>Until you found the creature's use>He didn't have limitless love, as his penchant to hit any drones that disturbed him too much, before he hid behind your legs for safety, proved>But his alien emotions simply worked differently>So, not wanting to waste a bottomless wellspring, you kept the creature, with varying levels of success>Because it turns out that getting the right nutrients for an omnivore when you lived in the middle of a barren wasteland is actually a challenge>Over the course of a month you finally got a system set up that would keep him fed and alive>It was then that you found yourself inadvertently raising the creature
>>41444459>His independent manner was initially off-putting to the drones, and he had an endless amount of questions that you reluctantly answered, if for no other reason than to ensure your meal ticket didn't run>If his arrival wasn't the strangest day of your life, the day he gave you the title only he used, was>It had been after you had pulled out a dusty old book you'd had in the corner of the backend of the hive and read it to him at his insistence to help him sleep>The word had slipped so carelessly from him that you weren't even sure if he had realized what he'd done>Either way, it shifted something in you>You're certain that the foolish masses of ponykind would ascribe to that feeling some idea of affection, but you weren't given to bursts of maternal instinct>No, what you felt, was a plan brewing>It had been years, decades even, you can't even remember how many, since your last attempt to cultivate a Royal Drone that would eventually mature into an heir for your throne>Yet here was this creature, this, Anonymous, with an endless supply of love to feed the hive, an independent mindset and one that could very easily be grown, molded and cultivated>That was the first day of your plan>And that day was years ago>You and Anonymous had slowly built up what could be called a familial relationship as he grew from the small child he appeared as to the young man he is today>Though he had, without a doubt, become a Prince of your hive>You had wondered how he'd manage as a Changeling Prince with none of the abilities, but you quickly found that all his disguises lay in his very body>During one of your tests for your son, he'd been put unconscious, flown to the nearest settlement, and left to fend for himself>You couldn’t believe it when, not even a week later, he'd returned>Despite them full-well knowing the dangers, he'd managed to convince a group of ponies to bring him past the borders of your territory>You'd had the ponies taken, cocooned and replaced, and Anonymous simply seemed happy to me "home">Who needs to look like a pony someone trusts, when the right words and the right face can make them trust you as if they'd known you their whole life>So it was that his education continued, as did his rise through your hive>The drones quickly got the idea, and the ones that weren't happy with it were persuaded quite quickly by the prince>The ones that weren't persuaded, were intimidated>And the ones that weren't intimidated, well, he couldn't fight a drone turned into a chimera, but when he'd made so many of the other drone loyal subjects, he didn't need to>Now, the plan that had slowly been building in your mind since you first thought of him as a prince was coming to fruition>The Canterlot wedding was a bust on the surface level, but it still gave you vital intel>And the Princesses couldn't help themselves, always wanting to look better than everyone else, despite their claims
>>41444461>So when you'd sent a letter waving the white flag, and offering to introduce your son to their courts to establish a peaceful connection, they jumped at the idea>You couldn't help but smile at the mental image of yourself and an honor guard of drones strolling into Canterlot, with Anonymous at your side, and the ponies not even bothering to put up a barrier to keep you out>Now all you had to do was dangle your son like a piece of meat in front of the Mares of the Court, have him use his literally other-worldly charms to seal a deal with one of them and you'll have your hooves dug into Equestrian soil in a way the Princesses won't be able to stop>You pause your own thoughts to settle a small boiling feeling in your chest, it always occurred when you thought of giving your son to some random mare>It was a pointless feeling, you knew the mission, and so did he>He'd even suggested a similar idea to you before you'd unveiled your plans to him>You were so proud of him that day>Again, you silence your thoughts that tried to stray>The time when you'd be boarding a train to Canterlot was coming soon>One of the few downsides of having a flightless son>You expected all eyes and all suspicions to be on you>But you were confident>You just needed to double-check your plan>And maybe assign Anonymous one extra guard, just in casehope you guys enjoyed this idea I had, might continue it, but I promise nothing
>>41444323
>>41444619thanks
>>41444464Fairly entertaining.I feel like I've read a similar story, but I'm such a slut for bug queen that I kinda don't care.
>>41444461Bug mom!
>>41445394"Um, all glory to the hypnotoad... and all penis to the Fluttershy? I-if that's ok, I mean."
>>41444459>>41444461>>41444464Bug mom is best mom.
HNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGOOOOH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I'M GONNA TEAR MY FUCKING DICK OFF TO THIS BITCHHOLY SHIT THE ABSOLVTE ALPHA BITCH FEMDOM CONTENT WE CAN GET OUT OF HER JESUS PASSIONATE CHRIST SHE IS THE HOTTEST GOD DAMN BITCHYOU NIGGERS BETTER NOT FUCK THIS UP I SWEAR TO *GOD* IF ALL WE GET IS "ooh look at me I made le bully horse submit with my heckin' swear-riddled attitude because she's so desperate for me" SLOPPA MALEDOM BULLSHIT I WILL FIND YOU ALHAMDULILLAH YOU WILL WAKE UP WITH MILLIPEDES IN YOUR URETHRAS
>>41445874>Her name is Desire.>Desperately tries to convince everyone it's pronounced Desiree.
>>41446125>Desireedamnit now you reminded me of that genie ghost from danny phantomthat voice was pure sex
>>41445874>Long flowing hair.>Lot of gold jewelry and shoes.So a more shallow, less talented version of Rarity?
>>41446458You'd have struck out more gently on the DT angle honestly.Rarity is insecure, she's not even approaching what it means to be an archetypal Hot Bitch.
>>41445874Imagined being bullied into a relationship with her.
>>41445874>Twilight goes out of her way to treat Anon differently than typical stallions, to respect his alien ways>Anon continues being a man too whimsical for his own good>ENTER DESIREE>Desiree treats Anon the way her momma taught her to>Anon is ALPHABITCHED into being a model househusband>Desiree marehandles him in public, showing just how obedient she's made her colt>Twilight seethes
Do mares wear lipstick? I think it would be hot if the main 6 were to mark anon with different shades of lipstick to show the rest of Ponyville that Anon's taken. Just something to switch up the regular RGRE thing of a mare's smell being the factor of who's "taken"
>>41444464cool, please continue
>>41446495>with DTSorry dude, she is differently colored, unmarried spoiled rich. All this bitch is gonna get are broken colts with mommy issues.Even Rarity is more attractive despite her dyke tendencies, since she has a successful business, the ear of the princess(es), and good fashion sense. Good colts are gonna be lining up to herd with her, and she can take her pick.
>>41445874who?
>>41446995My absolute dick. Finally some AiE I can get behind.Desiree existing to NTR the M6 is so god damn good. Imagine them awkwardly trying to convince you you're being abused, all pretending they're not boiling with jealousy.
>Caramel doesn't understand why you seem to like the nightshift convenience store cashier so much>The first time you took him on a 2am adventure to go get a hastily made sandwich, he didn't seem to have even noticed her despite literally giving her money"She was kinda cute, right?" you ask him outside the convenience store>You were new to Equestria and were still learning how ponies operated on a social level>What constituted an attractive mare or not>"Who?""The cashier?">"Uhh..." Caramel goes blank, maybe he was tired>He looks back in at the bat mare cleaning the FREEZY-SIP machine>He cringes visibly, "No, no. You can do better than that.">You take another look through the large glass front of the store>She was still cleaning, and just looked tired"What's wrong with her?">Caramel takes another look to better classify what brand of undesirable she was>"She's fat, clearly a loser, and it looks like she never trims, and her cutiemark is food service.">You take a closer look>She had a *lot* of rainforest between her belly and her tail>"And the hat is probably covering mare pattern baldness.">Caramel puts a supportive hoof on your shoulder, "Trust me bro, you can do way better.""But she looks so sad.">You stare at the mare cleaning the FREEZY-SIP machine longingly>"You'll get a stallion's intuition at some point, and you won't pay mares like her any mind.">Equestria was such a nice place, you were surrounded by cute mares easy to obsess over>But most of them were, as Caramel puts it, losers>Were you just seeing something where there was nothing>Or was Caramel overlooking something good
>>41448439She's cute to me, Caramel, now fuck off. You've been nothing but a hater the entire time I've known you.
>>41448787He's being a good friend trying to keep you from making a mistake.
>>41448439stallions would rather share an alpha mare than have exclusive access to a loyal beta mare
>>41448843I don't give a shit about alpha mare this, sexual marketplace that. I want a chubby gas station bat gf that will talk about battlemace 4k with me.
>>41449306Don't we all?
>>41447087Sounds like that "rainbow parties" myth from like 20 years ago.
I may have a fetish for chubby mares.
>>41448439fuck Caramel, what does he know about a good mare? any stallion who won't drink at the river just cause there's some overgrown grass nearby is no friend of minehe's probably gay anyway
>>41444464Definite bugmom moment, very sociopathic.
>>41448439must make sad mare happy
>>41448439Caramel did nothing wrong.Stooping can foster delicious gratitude, but don't forget romance is business. Especially when you're the pursued sex.
>>41448439>"Trust me bro, you can do way better."
>>41450333Caramel's bullshit is starting to make me feel like a male misandrist.As long as the rent gets paid and someone's buying food, every minute they don't spend chasing some shitty soul-sucking career is a minute they can spend with our family.
Would you lewd a trap stallion to attract real mares?
>>41448439Caramel's gonna have to get the entire Equestrian army if he wants to stop me from impregnating that low-income, poor hygiene, loser mare
>>41450495>humans invade Equestria>wagie mares getting mating pressed left and right>high-status noblemares get no attention >stallions baffled
>>41450610>Annoyed noblemares ask Twilight Sparkle why this keeps happening.>Twilight makes some hypothesis that human stallions value strength over brains entirely.>Some of the ponies point out that a lot of the wagie loser mares are actually fairly meek.>Into fatties? No... some of them are actually too thin, borderline malnourished.>They're turning the low wage thing into a ... fetish?>Nothing to suggest otherwise, but an entire race of stallions having the same fetish? Unlikely. But yet. . .?
>>41448439moar anon! this mare deserve happines and to be fucked like no mare was before>anon gets a herd of working class betamares kek
I had a dream once about a non-anon RGRE green where some mare, driven by the grief of a lost love or son who was also a well known golem maker.They proceed to become a recluse in the middle of nowhere and begin work on their magnum opus- a hyper-advanced golem that looks just like the stallion they had lost, almost indistinguishable from a real pony.The golem is still very doll-like in that they don't blink or breath, and they don't know what it is to be a pony.Their creator probably used so much of their magic in "reviving" the one they lost that they died, leaving the golem on their own in a big, secluded manor.Maybe the creator's name was something like Gallopino, you know, a Geppetto sort of character who wanted to make a "real boy".Regardless, a mare of your choosing find the manor and find the artificial stallion, and brings them back to civilization, and now you have this handsome, yet cold stallion surrounded by mares.Some might see him as a sex toy, others want to be genuine friends, some might want to mold his impressionable mind into the perfect husbando.
>>41449534based
>>41450676>Twilight leads covert missions to Apeworld>For several moons, she, her friends, and several other isolated scholars conduct independent studies>If she hadn't scattered other mares at random, she'd never have believed the results:>These creatures value females with fat rumps, thick chests, no work ethic and extreme nymphomania>The only thing beta mares have to offer is being significantly less whimsical compared to these positively stallion-like females>Twilight had a large fat layer and the fluffiest chest!>This doesn't add up at all!>These aliens should be fighting each other for Twilight's attention!>Instead they just go up and ask a no-hopes mare!>So many ponies are just having their soulmate HOOFED to them on a silver platter!>The economy is getting stronger, the census has never looked less bleak, the hybrid foals have all the vigor of a mule with none of the mule-ocity..>What god would allow this!?>it's madness!>Wait>Twilight had a rare moment of self-awareness>Why is this a bad thing?>She couldn't ponder this for long, unfortunately, as she was quickly bonked by Cadance who had been hiding in Pinkie Pie's mane the entire time.>"Sorry Twilight. The Hearts n Hooves Industrial Complex keeps a lot of important mares wealthy.">Unfortunately for Cadance, Pinkie Pie refused to Pinkie Promise not to say anything.>Apparently, peasant ponies don't take kindly to watching royalty do whatever the fuck they want, especially when said royalty is now technically foreign and has no power over Equestrian citizens.>Having grown up among the Amish, Pinkie Pie's immune system had a healthy resistance to being smacked with a cast iron pan so her plan B was immediately out.Cadance also forgot about Twilight's friends all witnessing the act. Honestly, she's kind of a tactical retard isn't she?
>>41450979"I'm good at taking dick, and nothing else!"-Princess Cadence.It's still a bit of a non-sequiter that Anons wouldn't be interested in the nobles though. There has to be something about them that Anons do not like. Afterall, while not every man would quit his job to be a househusband for a wealthy woman (or mare), there are absolutely many that would.
>>41451075The better question would be why any of the nobles would want a serious relationship with a human. Almost no humans have a royal title, and those that do probably would have nothing to do with ponies.
>>41451156Solid point. There might be some reason when it's just one Anon. He's a novelty, and could perhaps be granted a title by someone. But once they start pouring in by the numbers, the value of Anons would approach their true value.Also:>>41450979We gettin' satyrs or centaurs? That might alter how ponies look at this.
>>41451202Whichever's funnier, man. I prefer it being the mother's species with traits appropriate to the father's species (so high endurance and skill at wife-throwing), but with a 10% chance of birthing a wacky chimeric hybrid or just a human with magic.
>>41451075The only nobles in canon who aren't complete fuckwits and aren't unobtainable alicorns are Fancy Pants and Shining Armor. I don't swing that way and they don't either.
>>41451075>It's still a bit of a non-sequiter that Anons wouldn't be interested in the nobles thoughthis, I wonder how Fleur de Lis would be as a marefriend
Has anyone done a green where mares raid Earth for males.Instead of humans, though, they're taking the horses?Could be kind of funny and a sequiter to giant mares in Equestria. Like:>The rural area Anon grew up in was mostly known for two things.>The first were the farms and abundances of animals that were often associated with them.>The second is the mytsery of disappearing horses.>For generations, every year, a few horses would end up vanishing without a trace.>No remains were ever found, ruling out predators, and no wranglers or thieves were found either.>It's hard to hide a horse, after all, and yet, they just seemed to vanish.>Anon never thought he'd find the answer when he chased after a stallion as it was seemingly tied, loaded onto a wagon, and dragged across the field towards the woods by what looked like a band of sled-dog sized creatures.>He really should have hesitated when he ran through the glowing portal, but dammit he wanted his horse back.Something something, Celestia and Luna are actually half-Earth horses, along with the likes the Fluer and other tall equines. Saddle Arabia is almost entirely inhabited by horse-gene having ponies.
>>41450676Maybe it's just empathy? Maybe a lot of guys know how much it sucks to be a lonely wageslave. The wage cage is unforgiving and spares nobody, but it doesn't have to be lonely.
>>41450979>the hybrid foals have all the vigor of a mule with none of the mule-ocity..heh
>>41451984>but it doesn't have to be lonely.no, but human women are genetically inclined to have crab mentality and either drag others down with them or kick those trying to get better down, whereas mares are (usually) not prone to such behaviors
>>41452130>incel momentWe're not talking about women, we're talking about why a guy would feel extra attached to random nightshift gas station wageslave mare.
>>41448439>>41448787>>41449534>>41450676your ancestors will be proud, just like how I am proud of you all
>>41451967could be fun, especially with the various ways that you could answer the questions that this idea creates>what do the ponies want with Earth horses?>why did they never make contact with humans?>do the horses remain of horse-level intelligence when they go through the portal or do they become sapient?>if the latter how do the newly mentally aware horses feel about their previous lives and the situation they're in now?>do the ponies end up stealing a mare that Anon looked after really well and who doesn't like the idea of being away from him?>do the ponies think they're helping the horses?>are there any horses who'd rather go back to Earth?so many possibilities, so little time
>>41452619>do the horses remain of horse-level intelligence when they go through the portal or do they become sapientThey're still horse-level, but they can talk. It'll be like that episode of Dexter's Lab where he made that dog able to talk.
>>41452658So mares are raping mentally challenged horses?
>>41452671it'd be like snu snu with an ogryn
"Anon, is this really necessary?">Caramel watched as his human friend fiddled with a thundercloud>Where in Celestia he had gotten such a thing he didn't know, nor was he brave enough to ask>Anon was knelt down right next to it, doing something with wires>Caramel almost wanted to look to see exactly what he was doing, but the cloud's rumbling made him keep a healthy distance>"I'm fucking sick of you little horses biting on my nice fence," he said."It's called cribbing, Anon," Caramel gently reminded>Anon let out a snarl>"I don't care what it is. You guys are destroying my fence. So...">Grabbing two wires, Anon carefully attached them to a metal rod he had spent the entire morning attaching to his fence>An arch of electricity erupted along the fence, making Caramel jump back>He REALLY wished his friend had sensible colt hobbies>Like knitting>Trying on horseshoes and not buying them>Complaining about hats>Anon let out what could be only described as an evil laugh>"The next little horse that bites my fence is in for a rude awakening!""...Anon, I'm not sure this is... legal.">"Oh, it's fine. I checked the local laws. None of them say anything about electrifying a fence.""That's because it's... morally not very good. You know that, right?">Anon snorted>"It'll be fine. Now, why don't you stop complaining and we both go to that gay little restaurant you like to get fruity drinks and little sandwiches?">Caramel perked up>"The Fancy flamingo you mean?""Sure.">"Ohhhh! We can go get the other boys on the way. Really make a day of it!">With that, Caramel grabbed Anon by his sleeve, dragging him away>His fence, all the while, clicked menacingly~_~_~_~_~>Rainbow Dash found herself landing neatly in Anon's yard>The speedster looked around>Seeing no angry human slamming open his door to yell at her, she turned her attention to his fence>She knew she shouldn't keep doing this--Twilight said her trespassing fines were getting ridiculous, but she couldn't stay away from that sweet, sweet fence>It was the perfect height to bite onto, the wood tasted nice, and having a big sweaty colt call her names really did something for her>She frowned as she hear a clicking noise>Odd...>Why was the fence clicked?>...>Eh>It probably didn't matter >With a shrug, she trotted over and bit right down on that fence>As soon as her teeth touched that wood a lightning bolt raced down the length of the fence>It hit her like a train>She was lifted into the air, every limb going stuff>Her skeleton was clearly shown in her body>The smell of burnt feathers filled the air>Then, with a rumble of thunder, she found herself launched off the fence and a good twenty feet into the air>She then landed hard on the ground, her fur covered in black soot>Her whole body buzzing, the mare stared up at the sky"That. Was. AWESOME!">She popped back up in the blink of an eye
>>41452922>She shook herself, sending the soot off her in a great cloud"Oh mare. What a great prank!" she said with a grin. "I gotta get somepony else to bite down on this thing!">With an evil giggle, the mare took off into the air>It so happened that Anon and Caramel, drunk and stuffed with little sandwiches, came back to the human's house to see around twenty mares near his fence>One would bite his fence, get electrocuted, and be launched into the air>Meanwhile, the rest would point and laugh while sipping hard ciders>Anon was not very happy>In fact, she was extremely peeved about the whole thing
>>41452922>Local man tries to deter horny mares, ends up giving them orgasmsMany such cases
>>41452931>she was extremely peeved>sheR63'd from raw fury
>>41452959Anon is "marely" enough to be an honorary female.
>>41452922>>Why was the fence clicked?Rainbow Dash, everyone.
>>41452959Ramma 1/2 but with friendship magic?
>>41453114>Anon turns into Femanon when he drinks the fruity girl drinks that stallions drink in RGREThat explains why he doesn't want to get drunk.
>>41452671I don't know, which is better?Could be funny if they're just taking none sentient horses and using them for sex, justifying it as they clearly enjoy it and the horses are being pampered and not used as beasts of burden, so their lives are better.
>>41453576>non sentientJust like normal colts, amrite mares?
>>41450748That's pretty good dude. Why don't you write it?
>>41453622I'd agree but my colt has made it very clear that he disapproves of my misandry ):
>>41452922>and having a big sweaty colt call her names really did something for hernice
>>41452931How will Anon escalate things from here?
>>41454558>"If you bite this fence ur gay"
>>41454558"Woah ha ha, the buck is this?">Be Rainbow>You had just dove in for your daily perimeter-dividing victuals>Something was up>The fence didn't have that freshly-varnished taste you craved>The shock was less piquant>And oh yes->You were caught in a giant bondage trap>Not merely a snare, no, this trap was cleverly rigged to secure you firmly and lift your tail>Holy shit>He's going to rape you?>HE'S GOING TO RAPE YOU!>Forget your fence!>Today Faust grants you your daily bred!>Here he comes!>Fluttershy is watching with those big pleading eyes>Even Spitfire's eyebrow is raised>*PLOP*>Wait, what?>Your hooves touched grass while your vajayjay stayed distinctly empty and unmolested>Is Anon into edging? Did he confuse erotic self-denial with the literal edge of a fence?>"Stay the fuck off my fence!">He's resetting the trap>He'll get to you (and your hindcarriage) eventually, surely>Just keep your tail up and ready>He's walking back inside>Definitely to get some lube and a phonograph with some sensual headbangers>He's...>Not coming back>You've been standing here with your whole pussy on display like a retard for at least 10 minutes>Buck>Half the mares in town just saw you get blue-beaned>Half the mares in town just saw you stand around at full access like a lovesick high schooler>Even Fluttershy manages to look ashamed>Goodbye, alpha mare status
>>41454558All he had to do was smear spoiled milk or some kind of bitterant on the fence so the taste would be awful.If Anon is feeling really mean, he could also use some Dragonland hot sauce or some lead paint.
>>41455660lead paint would have no effect on rainbow dash
>>41455530What the fuck is her problem?
>>41455530Jesus Christ Dash is down bad.Someone should probably... Help or something.>>41455819It might slow her reaction times down, making her a slower flyer. Would absolutely ruin her self confidence. ... Lead poisoning also makes people more aggressive. Combine that with the down bad statement as you see fit.
>>41455660no led pint left i eatedit all
>>41454558battery clamp to her clitoris
>>41455858Anon escalated to a trap specifically designed to blue-bean her, duh
>Be Anon>The pegasi bite your fence>The unicorns eat all the flowers in your garden>The earth ponies won't stop digging holes everywhere>Not only don't they stop they get confused and upset when you ask them to stop>All you wanted to do in sexist horseland is paint your little army men and NOT pay taxes>But here are all of these doofuses running around, being little horses>Today, you watched a group of mares have a fifteen minute burp-off to settle who was the toughest >The one managed a minute-long burp>Her opponent, seeing that she'd lost, let out a fart that was twice as long and was probably heard in Canterlot>Just last week a bunch of little colorful flying balls nearly ate the entire town>Then there was the singing>It never stopped >It was ridiculous >You can't even go into horse church without these horses doing something weird during the service>How are you gonna praise Horse-Jesus--who's actually just Jesus Jesus because this world was so damn weird-- when Lyra was in the pew behind you trying to touch your butt>So, you decided to take drastic measures>You didn't want to do this, but the horses had left you no choice>You bought yourself a no solicitors sign>You put it RIGHT on the front door too so they knew you were serious >No more mister nice fella!
>>41456458I'd just move to somewhere without ponies tbhfam
>>41456500It won't be any better anywhere else, just different flavors of annoying.>ChangelingsWill actually enforce gender roles, via cocooning and mind-altering jelly if need be.>DragonsWill alternate between building giant piles of gold on your lawn and fighting over who gets to throw you onto their giant pile of gold. Your opinion will not be considered.>GriffonsI will not even dignify this with a proper response>KirinKirin will make you read haiku all fucking day like a bunch of weebs. Then one of them chips a hoof, turns into a flaming nirik and burns your cock off while hatefucking you>Diamond DogsThey're furry which makes you a furry for even considering this. Plus they'll dig entire tunnel networks in your yard.
>>41456458>>The pegasi bite your fence>>The unicorns eat all the flowers in your garden>>The earth ponies won't stop digging holes everywhereWhat do the zebras do?
>>41457050>Will alternate between building giant piles of gold on your lawn and fighting over who gets to throw you onto their giant pile of gold. Your opinion will not be considered.I will pick my favorite dragoness, throw her onto her pile of gold, then take her on it. The element of surprise will shock her long enough for the deed to have already begun by the time she comes to her senses.
>>41457057Zebras don't exist. Zecora is just a donkey that painted stripes on herself as a joke. Still waiting for someone to call her out.
>>41456458>Horse-Jesus--who's actually just Jesus Jesus because this world was so damn weirdFuck, I love the idea of Jesus establishing Christianity in Equestria just because. And then when Anon shows up, the ponies go "woah" because Anon's the first creature they've met made in God's image
>>41457057Zebras are ironically the only ones who don’t fuck with you constantly.they are pretty decent neighbors if a bit flirty.the worst you get is some light catcalling
>>41457487>Zigger neighbor moves in>She's actually nice to you>Doesn't commit property damage>Brews some bomb as tea>Doesn't "awooga" at your crotch all the time>Has a fat assI'll take it
>>41457487This is a massive positive.The massive downside, the only place where they are the majority of the population is Zebrica.Hope you like dealing with botflys. >>41457645Just getting together with Zecora is probably the safer path. I wonder if the mares will leave you alone if you smell like you're taken by the local witchdoctor.
>>41457778>Sleep with Zecora right before heading out to the market>The following evening, a crowd of ponies in white robes and hoods show up outside of Zecora's hut
>>41457778Caramel's gonna freak when Anon shows up to guys' night reeking of zeeb
>>41457069I would make sure I get Ember's attention before yelling out "I'm the ONLY human MALE in ALL of EQUESTRIA!" Boom. Dragonesses will want to Owen the only human male in Equestria as a mate. Of course Princess Ember will absolutely try to lay claim to that. She's the dragon lord, she's suppose to have extremely valuable things in her hoard.
>>41458155Alas, being one of a kind is not worth much in of itself, unless there's some innate value attached to it.Imagine having the only Babe Ruth bobblehead in equistria.Absolutely fucking worthless.No, you will still need to impress the dragoness. In some way.
>>41458203There's more value in being a unique one of a kind individual/species than a unique one of a kind piece of plastic. All memes aside of how useless Anon is I'm sure there are some redeeming qualities he has that any mare or dragoness would love about him, and even if that weren't the case I'm pretty sure he'd make a nice bed warmer for a qt dragoness.
>>41457778You're built for TZC
>>41458203>Alas, being one of a kind is not worth much in of itself, unless there's some innate value attached to it.>I can also IMPREGNATE any female on the planet!bam
>>41458417>not wanting to be big spooned by a hot, both figuratively and literally, dragoness that is highly protective of you and will claw someone's face off if they try to take or harm youdo yall niggas even rgre
>>41459082>Wearing lingerie.What a dyke.No wonder Spike beat her to become the Dragon lord.
>>41460290She's a dragon, she doesn't care one way or the other about all the frilly shit. But she knows it really turns her husband on and they'll fuck like animals when she does wear it.
>>41460290I thought lingerie was RGR in the sense that it's a form of peacocking. If a mare in a herd wants a little extra attention from her stallion, nothing can draw in his eye's of her better than putting on some sexy lingerie to make her stand out more amongst her herd sisters.
>>41457645>Be leaving for work, and see a random mare strolling along the street.>Mare sees you and starts catcalling you.>Zebra-wife steps out the door.>"Anon, if you need me I will be at the store, do we need any. . . who's this whore?"
>>41460549>mare dresses up in lingerie because she wants an extra dicking>it attracts her stallion's attention, as planned>however, he just spends an hour almost angrily critiquing the quality and aesthetics>then drags her to the store she bought it from to pick out something better
>>41462930Sounds like a terrible spouse
>>41463369He's a wonderful spouse who doesn't want her to get ripped off. He's not mad at her, he's mad at the clothier and the salespony. They're going to shop for something she'll look absolutely divine in and /isn't/ practically falling apart already, and then she's going to wear it to bed because a stallion's fashionistic autism only lasts for so long and he's been turned on ever since the third set she tried on.
One of the theoretical pinnacles of femdom would be something like the world the girls in Aieu Oka's Bullied: Revenge Hypnosis doujin were hypnotised into believing in. No hypno turnabout, just that fantasy just being how things actually work, and being enforced by hot bratty bitches, is an archetypal form of role reversal that ought to be, but never is, actually achieved.
>>41463752>More wish fulfillment slop.Just stick to porn. The best rgre is about the relationships, not the sex.
>>41463752You have misunderstood something here, but I'm not sure exactly what
>>41463449It is still very mean to take a moment in which his wife is making herself vulnerable to do something nice for him and turn it into a moment of negativity like that.
>>41462930>Mare dresses up in lingerie to get her spouses attention.>Anon comes home to see said mare.>Monkey brain activates.>Doesn't matter if the lingerie was put on wrong, or is cheaply made.>When you want a baked potato, it doesn't matter what kind of aluminum foil you use.>-and THAT is one HOT potato.>Anon picks up his wife, kicks open the bedroom door, and puts on music.>something sensual.>Cue eyebrow wiggle, and make that sexy pony feel like a woman.>Afterglow cuddles are mandatory.
>>41457645>Turns out Zecora is the perfect wife for Anon.>Unsurprisingly, what has to be the most calm and patient individual in all of Ponyville is exactly what was required to ease Anon away from the 'whimsy' he was so well known for.>What was once a terror of the entirety of Equestria was reduced to a man sitting in a chair outside that hut in the Everfree Forest- reading a book and drinking a cup of tea.>Some were relieved and some wept, but one couldn't say that Zecora or Anon weren't happy.>There were plenty of dangerous creatures out in the forest that Anon could hunt and butcher, and such a thing was more than a convenience to Zecora since with more fallen creatures came more available components for spells and brews.>Cockatrice tails, Manticore claws, parasprite spit->If Anon smoked the meats then Zecora knew that she would have an ample supply of Timberwolf trimmings for the next month or two.>Best of all, the two seemed to love each others company.>Anon would occasionally rhyme in jest around her, but had genuine respect for what Zecora did for others.>At the same time, Zecora understood the frustration of what it meant to be an outsider to those around her- being an anomaly no matter how accepting the populous claim to be.>It's a simple life, but one that they both wouldn't change even if given the opportunity.
>>41464014>take a moment in which his wife is making herself vulnerable to do something nice for him and turn it into a moment of negativityWait, maybe it's even more RGRE than I thought
>>41464995Holy shit you're right, I didn't even think of it that way
>>41464271>"I don't like 'em cause they're stealin' our stallions Twi, simple as"
>>41464014It is rare for a stallion's autism to be impeded by such things as "logic" or "politeness".
I must confess, rgre. Not only do I want to fuck the ponicemares, I want to fuck the judge mare too.
>>41465689>This just in, Local Man says he "will fuck the legal system, top to bottom">In other news, predictions that the local police office and city hall will be critically understaffed in nine months time have come flooding in, due, in no small part, to an influx of pre-scheduled maternity leave that have been filed following this year's estrus season, causing government officials to worry that the institutions will become critically understaffed >More at 9
>>41466092Will it be 9 months, like humans, or 11 months, like horses?
>>4146617211 to deliver but too heavy to work by 9, no amount of marely pride can have a nine months pregnant mare pull a 9 to 5
>>41466272Grammy gram did it. Through the riots of '57 too.
>>41466172Real horses only carry to 11 because it needs to be developed enough to run not long after birthWith houses, towns and a society they don't have to carry them that long and risk birthing such large foals.
>>41467339Sure, but that kind of long gestation time isn't going to have a lot of selective pressure going against it either. It has more to do with the size of the animal, as deer are only 200 days ( a bit under 7 months). Babboons, despite carrying their babies around with them, are only 6 months. Gorillas, 8 months and a bit. Chimps are only a few days shorter. Meanwhile, humans are the longest gestating primate, despite having civilization for some 6? depends on your definition, thousand years.
>>41467339Like >>41467422 said, you're not going to invent your way out of your basic biology (not with 20th-century tech, anyway). And ponies might have even longer pregnancies, given that humans have the longest gestation period of the great apes.
What is the most common mare "dream job"?
>>41467469>And ponies might have even longer pregnancies>impregnate waifu>have to wait 14 months for your foalA dozen foals would be a bit of a challenge.
Green time>Twilight: Soft, large from eating hayfries and burgers, smells like ink and old books>Rainbow Dash: Firm from exercise and flying, Smallest of the mane six, smells like neightorade and sweat.>Applejack: Biggest of the mane six, Extremely firm and dense from bucking all day, smells like apple cider.>Fluttershy: Second biggest, extremely soft, smells like pine and nature>Rarity: Small from exercise, soft and supple, smells like wine and lonely fridays>Pinkie Pie: Usually big but can surprisingly shrink from unknown reasons, soft as party balloons, smells like cake and strawberries>In conclusion: All mares will be charged for the non-consensual face sitting of one Anon Y. Mous. Defendants how do you plead?>"I BUCKING KNEW ANON WAS A NARC!"
>>41467563Seems like Applejack is winning as usual. Though for once, Fluttershy is a close second.May as well expand it a bit? What of some of the other mares in town? Starlight Glimmer probably smells like Twiggles given she's just a reskin of old twilight, but Trixie? She has to do some working out setting up and moving her stage all the time. Smells like her wagon, so... wood and stage props?
>>41467500Probably like humans, that's a very different question to each mare. If only they had some... mark on their ass that told them what it was for them. >>41467504Nah, just gotta get her pregnant with 6 rounds of twins. I wonder if there's fertility magic to help with that....Figure 12 years would be comfortable time frame, gives your mare a gap year to recover each time.
>>41467469as>>41467422 said it's some what related to the size of the anima,l so it's probably shorter maybe only 6 or 7 months. Although not giving birth alone in the wilderness like animals removes most "selective pressure", they may get by with 8 or 9 months like humans.
>>41467500that sure is a head scratcher, if only there was some sort of mark they could magically gain that would tell them not only what they'd be best at career wise, but also what would fulfil them in a personal way, I bet a mark like that would look pretty cute, don't you?
>>41467563>In conclusion: All mares will be charged for the non-consensual face sitting of one Anon Y. Mous. Defendants how do you plead?Your honour, as the plaintiff of this case I request all charges against the accused be dropped and this case be dismissed, on the grounds that I liked it and want them to do it again
Why is it called RGRE if they have the same gender roles as they have in the show?
>>41467675It's just going to be based on evolutionary history and size. Unless they have been civilized for thousands of generations (not just years, generations!) the weak selective pressure to decrease gestational time (of there even is one) would not have enough time to manifest from baseline equine.If they have a shorter than 11 months time, it's because functionally it's always been that way. On the other side, there is no guarantee that civilization will lead not lead to longer gestational times. We often make the joke that the biggest mares lead, but being a larger mare in turn means wider hips, which makes having a foal easier. Being bigger than your competitors for suiters is also generally good. Ignoring any specific training, bigger mares best smaller mares in struggles. More mass, more power. Less efficient food use, but civilization helps improve that issue.
>>41467748because they're reversed from our perspective and this thread mostly revolves around self-insert wish-fulfilment
>>41467885>pic>Pinkie is waiting to lick your ass
>>41467563>>Fluttershy: Second biggest, extremely soft, smells like pine and naturegimme
>>41468029that's why Caramel warned you about hanging around her, she has a reputation for licking assit's his own fault though, how can you be called Caramel and not expect the candy-mare to try something funky
Would you hold a fish fry for your mares? Would you deathmatch with Caramel over whose casserole is better?
>>41468722No, because I'm making shrimp gumbo instead. He can argue with Thunderlane like usual.
Any good green where anon gets raped?
>>41467563>neightorade
>>41467717I'm talking about in general like how every child wants to be a fire fighter or some similar shit even with cutie marks every mare must have a career they yearn for
I WANT TO MARRY A WISCONSIN MARE
>>41468966Are you prepared to spend 4 hours every week in the fishing section with fargopone?
>>41468993yes, provided we bring a radio with us while fishing to listen to Prairie Home Companion
>>41468813Flutter rape thread is >>41444904 that way fellar.Come and join us.
>have bi-weekly poker night with big mac, shining armor, and flash magnus>rockhoof, bless his heart, can't bluff for shit, and starswirl is too busy autistically screeching at how utterly fucking stupid and coom-brained most mares sans the princesses are>though to be fair you do have to routinely chase away mares that try to hijack your guy's night and turn it into strip poker
>>41470947>strip poker the average pony wears one article of clothing sounds pretty boring
>>41471015so they get dressed before starting strip pokernot a difficult problem for horny mares to solve
>>41471015they play dress-up poker, obviously
Sugar Mommy Mares
>>41467577Black powder and road dust.
>>41471833>"Sugar Mommy" in Equestria just refers to baker mares
>mare loves that (You) are low maintenance compared to stallions>thinks she understands you well enough to pop the question>she's in for quite the shock when she finds out you're even more baby crazy than an Apple mare in estrus
>Be Anon>One day, a big white horse appeared in your house>You tried to get her to leave by giving her a carrot, but she politely declined>Pretty weird that she could talk, but you really didn't know all that much about horses>It could have been AI, or that Musk fella too>The horse wasn't that bad >She was toilet trained, and didn't make that much of a mess>A few sandwiches a day would keep her happy>She really liked it when you'd put chips on her sandwiches too>She turned your basement into a massive woodworking room>And you mean massive>Like impossibly large considering the size of your house>She'd spend most of the day down there "working">You don't think she really built anything>Most of the time you'd find her drinking beer and listening to old rock while mumbling about fixing the framing on a random door in the house>She was also extremely fascinated with your riding mower>She'd just sit in it; not even turning it on>Wanting to be a good host for the magical/robot/Jesus horse, you tried to get her horse a large dog bed to sleep in>Waste of money almost at the drop>She'd always hop into bed with you, and boy was she a hugger>Could have been worse>Your neighbor Chuck got a green mare>That one had a thing for hands>And pre-martial sex
>>41473821solid foundation.>pre-martial sexMot sure what that is but I'm very interested to find out.
>>41473918Poor Chuck got Xenophilia / Riderverse Lyra, where she does magic martial arts that make her into a walking magical apocalypse.Come to think of it, we haven't done much with alternate universe RGRE aside from some Crystal War timeline stuff years ago. What's RGRE look like in the universe where Nightmare Moon conquered the world?
>>41473821Clearly, the solution is to show her how to operate the lawn mower. And maybe get her to get off her lazy ass and actually make something in her workshop. Toys for children, perhaps?
>>41474214Pretty god damn scary desu. At least for our dear anon. Much less "ponies go woah" and much more actual degredation and stripping of rights. Especially being an alien, at that. He is NOT going to have a fun time.
>>41474383>Clearly, the solution is to nag her into doing work around the house and being productive when she just wants to relax at homeDamn, Anon, you'd fit right in in RGRE
>>41474433When in Rome, mm? She's a full grown mare, if she will consume the food in my home she must contribute in some way. And I suspect she can pack down the calories like few other mares.
>>41474433No, no. In order to be a proper rgre househusband you need to lock dick behind doing work around the house.
>>41474214My wife(and wives) would never lose to a stinky moon pony! Pls stop the historical revisionism.
>>41475078>Stinky moon pony.. . .You are getting a ONE WAY TRIP to the dungeons, Anonymous. That is my sister, and I will see you ANSWER for your insults!
>>41475078...call me stinky again
>>41475085Celestia....she has you in chains and is trying to take over Equestria while also trying to imprison/kill your pupils. (also, wow there's a lot of fucking futa nightmare moon x anon on derpibooru. I'm just trying to find good reaction pics)>>41475110You're evil, stinky, and the elements' floofs are all better than yours. You are a marecel!
>>41475085>Princess Celestia traps you in the dungeons to get raped by Luna for insulting herIT SHOULD HAVE BEEN M-I mean, oh noooo, please anything but that
>>41475143Unf, one more time, I'm almost there
>>41475160You are a stinky marecel who will never get a stallion or take over Equestria, let alone Equus.>>41475147I'm sorry anon, but the only ones that should be raping (consensual) me for all eternity are my wives.
>>41475219UNF! ...fuck, I just marecame all over my marecouch...Now I gotta get some butler to clean the marestain I left on the marecushion...
Is theEQgkid still around here? I wonder if you are going to continue your greens, they are funny.https://ponepaste.org/9455
>>41475219HFW she find out you stuffed your crotch to get the job
>>41475425>HFW you stuffed her crotch to get the jobftfy
>>41475143She's still my sister, and will be respected as such. >>41475110>>41475160>>41475230By Faust, Luna. This is just pathetic and sad? We need to get you some dick. Now. >>41475147Maybe this poor stallion would suffice?
>>41475481Only if he can talk to me like >>41475219 can...
>>41475429ty
>>41475490Remind me to schedule you for therapy. Clearly a thousand years on the moon has left you in... truely poor state of mind. And if you were like this before a thousand years on the moon, then... I dunno.
>4chinz is now old enough to drink in burgerlandwhere has the time gone?here's to another year. you're all faggots, but you're my faggots. love (You)n-no homo
what would you guys say is the best / top 3 best RGRE fics?
>>41476290Love you to fag!
>>41476400I'll let you know if any of them come out
>>41476400All the ones I specifically liked got propellered.
>>41475533(You) did this to me, Celestia! (You) made me a marecel! (You)'re the reason I can't find a marefriend-free colt! Buck you!
>Be Anon>You were dropped off at an orphanage in Baltimare many years ago>Male or not, not a lot of ponies wanted a weird alien>This meant you were at St. Lunar's Home for little Tikes for a long time>You saw many come and go>One did stay with you though>While she was a pony, she was a weirdo like you>Cadence was her name>A pink pegasus that liked to put firecrackers in the toilets and figured out how to hang onto the ceilings>She had a lot of funny ideas>Said she was going to be a princess one day>With her own kingdom and everything>She said she was going to take you, her "little brother" with her and you were going to both live in a great big castle>You didn't believe her>Boy was there egg now on your face
>>41471833>equal parts affectionate and innocent>you get flustered by sweet talk>an older mare is conflicted about whether she should corrupt and lewd you or protect your innocence
>>41476400A Dance On The Mats. Significant length, but self-contained enough to actually get finished. Has a clearly defined beginning, middle, and end. Everyone feels appropriately mirrored to RGRE standards but still fundamentally themselves. Good stuff.It is EqG as opposed to Equestria proper, though, which I know bothers some people.
>>41477135Luna, (You)'re a princess and an Alicorn. Just walk up to a stallion, puff out the tuft a little, and impress them. (You) should be able to pull married stallions, let alone ones who haven't even made anything official yet.Do I need to show how it's done?. . . Or at the very least, can I get (You) from degrading yourself in public?
>>41477588kek this shit has potential
>>41477946N-no! I know how to talk to stallions! I just...Stallions are all bucking whorses!
>>41478145If all stallions are whorses, then it's clearly not my fault that (You) are a marecel, now is it? And don't (You) start bitching that all they want is an alpha mare, because you're taller, stronger, and smarter than about two thirds of the population we rule over. Get out there and get some dick, Missy.
>>41478171Sh-shut up! (You) just don't get it! Colts only ever want that one third of the populace! Then they herd with a bunch of betamares who pay for everything while these bucking whorses stay home all day, reaming out alpha mares! (You) bucking normare!!
>>41478171>>41478310You're both stinky virgin marecels who get ZERO dick.
>>41478319...unf.
>>41478319There's a reason the entire solar guard is made up entirely of stallions. I pick them by hoof by how well they perform. And it's not by how competant they are as guards, mind you.>>41478310Luna, I propose a game. We will do a charity raffle. A chance to get a date with Princess Luna. One random lucky stallion gets to go out on a date with you, and you will get to see how many stallions were interested by how many tickets are sold.It's either this, or I get Cadence to set you up with one of Shining's friends.
>>41478399Not much of a game, but fine. We'll hold a raffle. Then (you)'ll see just how many of (you)r little ponies are only interested in a mares MONEY!
>>41478391What the fuck is wrong with you?>>41478399I've seen the way you "talk" to the colts in the Solar Guard. You stutter like the retarded filly the teacher forced to read in class.
alicorns get no dick
>>41478319I... Would like a stinky marecel... With dark blue fur...... Unf
>>41478440Put your flag back on Luna, we all know it's you.
>>41478399Luna, you're a princess. We can set the raffle price moderately high if you want to filter out the riff raff of stalions who you think are below your station? >>41478435A lot is wrong with her. A thousand years without a proper pounding really gets the screws loose on mares. Why, I start going nuts after just six months!As for the stuttering, that wasn't me. Twilight used a prestidigitation spell to practice being an alpha mare. It... did not go well. I still have the lesson report around my room somewhere. . .>>41478440And there's our first stallion interested in a ticket! Just two bits for you!
>>41476290Love you too, faggot.
>>41478440liar...(you)'re just some neet marecel larping on the internet>>41478458Price it however you want, won't change anything. Every colt is a whorse, it's just a fact of biology
>>41478490I think I'm starting to understand why the stallions are avoiding you despite the... numerous... advantages you have over the rest of the country's mares. I'll book that therapist for you in the meantime. . . .And maybe one of my solar guards.
>>41478490If I said I have a thing for... Darker alicorn mares... If you are whiling to herd with a human... Just call me
>>41478508Is it really much of a herd if there's only one mare?
>>41478508How dark are we talking here?
>>41478505Therapy is for cucks, Celestia. And keep your concubines away from me!>>41478508>humannow I know for certain that you're larping. Humans aren't real, none of MLH is. I bet you're HandsFan225, aren't you?>>41478518buck off, you sub-8 mare
>>41478518Sub-8? What the hell does that even mean, Princess Luna?
>>41478573I know it's for Cucks. That's why you need it, Luna. You've managed to turn into a self degrading, stallion hating cuck-queen. Which is rather impressive, as it seems you can't even get a stallion. Kind of a pre-req to getting cucked is being in a relationship?
>>41478505Deam now i know why miss sunny butt doesn't get a husband, sad she like to be used up like a door handle, and to think she is a godess, pfff shes not even worth a boiled bullet
>>41478510If she's open to more mares on the relationship... It would be good>>41478518Purple is dark to me...>>41478573... All I want is give you some good monkey cock... Why you need to be so mean to me
>>41478610look in the mirror>>41478617I'm not a stallion-hater. I'm just privy to the truth of this world. And the truth is, colts just lack the empathy mares have>>41478640Liar...are you Nutty4Neighpon? Quit using this shitty alt
>>41478664And to think I thought we were friends! Go to Tartarus, Luna! The reason you think Colts lack empathy, is because you're worthy of none!
>>41478664Your bad habits affect you and the ones close to you, even your family and friends. Your free hate towards colt is paid with your soul>>41478696Twi you will always be more of a mare than she can ever hope to be. To me you will always be a 10. I don't need a herd if I have you
>>41478715See, Celestia? The colt jumped ship instantaneously. Unloyal whorses, the lot of 'em
>>41478664Well done Luna. You scared off a stallion, just by mistreating Twilight. I have a lot to think about. Good night, Sister.
>>41478722Now I'm a colt ? I think you said I was a stinky mare larping and that there's no humans. Your problem Luna are not your looks you are a pretty .... Dark... Mare, but the dark is not only in your fur is also in your soul and heart! The problem is not how you look the problem is how you act!Your looks may have deceived me in thinking you where a real mare...
>>41476290love you too faggot
>>41477484does Anon stay in the orphanage until he's kicked out when he becomes legal age, or does Celestia adopt him when she presumably adopts Cadance her "niece"
>>41477769doesn't bother me, you mind linking it?
>>41471833>>41477588I want to give the pony milfs massages. Not even in a sexual way. I don't know if it's some weird monkey brain desire or what.
>>41475085>anon gets TRAPPED by celestia and RAPE by luna
>>41478924I had assumed Cadance just dragged him along to the confusion of everyone except Celestia. Who just saw it as Cadance naturally upholding the values of harmony and unity.
>>41478927https://www.fimfiction.net/story/400174/a-dance-on-the-mats
>>41478696Twilight I know it’s hard, seeing someone, you thought of as a friend act like this, but we should not get mad at Luna, sure she is a jerk, but she is also in pain, the best thing we can do, is make sure that she gets the help, she needs, from a therapist. Though in the meantime maybe we can do to a library, I heard that you like to give lectures to males, so uhh maybe you can tell me how the three tribes social structure developed, well we have burgers, and maybe cuddle in the library, I do find you pretty hot, and have had a crush on you for a while.
Spergy sunhat tipper bluepilled mare or dorky terminally online weeb redpilled mare
>All this arguing amongst the royals over some sloot. Probably a mare pretending to be a stallion for attention.>Meanwhile, you just walked into Canterlot, found yourself a sweaty nerd mare, and carried her off to breed her.
>>41480843>Another marecel power fantasyYawn. If humans were real, they wouldn't go after a stinky nerd.
>>41481572That assumes the human in question is not themselves, a stinky nerd.
>>41481572I will always go after the stinky musky mare.
>>41481991As long as you clean up afterwards....
Anyone think Fizzlepop would be easy to seduce with your masculine wiles? She's so lonely...
>>41480843Way to be easy, Anon. Sex is sacred you don't just bang random mares.
>>41482421Post redemption? Yes, actually. Despite turning good, she would still be at least a little socially ostracized in most if not all towns that know of her deeds. On the flipside, she's clearly the mareliest mare of all time, soloing all but one princess.Of course, by that metric Queen Chrysalis is pure sex appeal to stallions. . . . Which is probably true, she's earned a fair few of my loads.
>>41482737she's earned 100% of mine (she is my wife)
>>41482664Random?! I picked that nerd because she's a bookish shut-in like me. Though her fat ass doesn't hurt, either.
>>41482882What's the deal with the fat fetish?I don't get the appeal.
>>41479717>"Holy shit, Caramel is gay for me"kekgood read, I only wish it was longer
>tfw no awkward jock gf
>>41460549So if that's what they wear lingerie for, what's it mean when a mare wears a bridle, reins, saddle, blinders, and/or any other manner of horse tack?
>>41483159Prom King Anon and Prom Queen Jock Rainbro. A perfect setup
>>41483300it means you either have a kinky wife or she's in heat, either way, prepare your pelvis
>>41483328>Rainbow is anxious the entire prom>There's usually a King and Queen Dance>You and her>In front of all the people attending>She just knew she was going to step on your shoes, or trip over herself somehow>Sports? Easy>Dancing? Not easy>What's worse is that she's hungry and keeping herself hungry>She just knows that if she eats something, she'll spill something on herself, which will then rub on your suit when you dance and god forbid that happens>Rarity would kill her for staining that suit, and she was a girl, who knows what sort of social lynch mob Caramel would wrangle up>Her relief comes in the feeling of your hand in hers and you suddenly pulling her away from the crowd in a way that actually lets you both slip away unnoticed>Hey, even if she does something stupid tonight, it looks like she might at least get laid>Her mood drops slightly when you walk by a perfectly good girl's room, men's room, and janitor's closet>Her mood significantly improves when you challenge her to a race to the nearest burger place>And peaks when she thoroughly trounces you, meeting her in the fast food parking lot, winded, while she still has pep in her step>The burgers are greasy, the fries are loaded with enough salt to clog an artery, and the soda has enough sugar to rot your teeth, it's terrible for your health, but delicious in its own way>The night only improves further as messes and spills are made anyway, and you joke the night away>She surprises herself when, there, in the lonely parking lot, with low quality music playing from inside the burger place echoing out, she awkwardly offers her hand and a chance to dance>You surprise her even more when you take her hand, pull her close, and show that you're as bad at dancing as she is
>>41483580still better dancers than twiggles
mare when see long leg
>>41448439 Sorry for the wait, I was at Mare Fair"I'm gonna go in and try to talk to her.">Caramel looked tired, he rolled his eyes>"Don't say I didn't warn you bro." as you head back into the little store he follows you in>The bat mare is finishing up with the machine and gives you a second glance since you came back>"Uh... Hi." she mumbles as the doorbell chimes>Caramel sidesteps to go pretend he's looking at bottles of water"Hey." you try and think of something to say, pausing>"Can I help you?">You freeze up, how were you supposed to talk to mares you didn't know? She's working, it's rude to bother her like this.>Caramel reappears and hipbumps your side, "Go on.">"Grill closed 20 minutes ago." the bat begins heading back behind the counter>"My friend thinks you're cute." Caramel chimes up for you>The bat gives you a tired stare"Do you wanna like go get breakfast after work?">"... I- Yeah? I get off at 8, we can eat here.">"At the convenience store?" Caramel side-eyes you with supportive disapproval>The bat shrugs "If I had bits galore I wouldn't be workin' here. Take it or leave it.""I'll see you here at 8, okay?">You were feeling a little shakey from the social interaction, even though Caramel walked you through it>"Swing Shift. You?""Uh, Anon.">"I gotta mop, I'll see you at 8 I guess.""Y-you too.">You shuffle back out with Caramel>It was 3am in Ponyville and you had a date probably>Caramel looks at you seriously, hesitating to talk for a few seconds, "You're really going through with it?""I- Yeah.">He rolls his eyes, "If it'll make you happy... C'mon let's get you ready for you... date.""Get ready?">"Yeah. You need a shower and we need to do something with your mane.""I just showered this morning.">"Yeah and now you smell like an onion because you were stressing in that store. Let's go back to my place."
>>41484372>Yeah and now you smell like an onion because you were stressing in that store.i feel personally attacked by this line
>>41484376why is body odor like this
>>41484390Helps ward off insects. In theory.
>>41484402i live in iowa. believe me when i say that's a filthy fucking lie. every spring is gnat season, every summer is mosquito season, and autumn is tick season, and every season is horsefly seasongoddamn bloodsuckers
>>41484372I like where this is going
>>41484372Strange to think that I probably saw you at marefair. Good green so far anon.
>>41484372She doesn't seem all that interested kek. Maybe she's not into weird looking lanky monkeys.
>>41484485Probably thinks it's one of those fake dates, like what human women do for keks and then you get robbed and murdered by 52 tyrone's
>Be Octavia, the gray cello master (mistress?)>Currently trotting down a street in Canterlot.>While you have your residence in Ponyville with Vinyl Scratch, you do commute to Canterlot fairly often. The train is fast, and fairly cheap.>As well as having practice sessions with your more classically-inclined peers, there's also the infrequent, but still fairly steady stream of offers to perform at some party or other.>Your debut in the Gala, disaster as the whole event was, still made you a name among the nobles.>You just finished a practice session, and you're carrying your cello with you as you make your way towards a hotel you're a regular at.>An unusually tall figure catches your eye as he gives you a small nod while you pass each other by.>You nod back, only looking at him from the corners of your eyes.>It's only when you're some distance away does the whole encounter crystallize in your mind.>Thoughts of music and analyzing your performance all fade as you suddenly stop and turn back, studying the peculiar figure.>It looks like a minotaur at first glance, but only at first.>There's no horns and the shape is quite different, though you're not able to make out any finer details as the figure disappears into the distance. You do remember seeing a beard when you glanced at him, though, so it's almost definitely a male.>What caught your eye was not the species, however, but what he was carrying on his back.>A large cello case, much like yours.>Peculiar.>A cello is not usually a colt's instrument. They rarely have the endurance to stand on their hindlegs for such a long time, especially during the longer performances.>Moreover, you never saw or heard about whoever he was in your circles. Even if he was a bad performer, some nobles would still hire an exotic colt just for the eye candy. Or maybe for a "private performance". Perhaps that's what he is? Some escort roleplaying as a musician?>Pursing your lips, you stand there for a moment longer before mentally shrugging and dismissing the thoughts.>While you find the thought of some comfort horse lugging a master's instrument around for show distasteful, that's probably some of the tamest stuff the nobles get up to, really.>You try not to think about some of the things you glimpsed at private parties as you trot away. It's one of the reasons you trained to play with your eyes closed.>The whole encounter is soon forgotten, and filed away in the depths of your memory.>However, that is not the end of it.>Next week, you trot past him again, both of you exchanging small nods.>Why did he even nod at you in the first place? Because he saw you were carrying a cello as well?>This keeps happening for a while. And every time, you are left with more and more questions that your idle mind keeps coming up with as you trot away.>A few questions to the other musicians are met with helpless shrugs. No one else ever heard of this anonymous exotic cello player either.
>>41484617>Eventually, six weeks after you noticed him first, you get the sudden urge to follow him.>It makes you stop in confusion, as you can't quite figure out the source of the urge.>Why? What's the point? What would you even gain? Were you going stalk him and see where he lives? That'd be quite unbecoming for a refined and civilized mare as you.>The urge doesn't go away, though.>Biting your lip, you turn around to search for his tall form, but he's already gone.>Sighing, you shake your head as you canter away.>Next time. >Next time comes, and you are overcome with curiosity, though you belatedly realize that you still have your heavy cello case on your back as you turn around to follow him.>Sure, you're used to lugging it around, but not for a whole day.>Biting your lip, you curse inwardly as you take off anyway.>His steps are large, but he's not in a hurry, so it's not hard to keep up with him.>As you dig through your knowledge of Canterlot, you're fairly certain that there's no music halls or any other places where he could go practice in the direction he's going, so you assume that he's going home. Either that, or to his work, whatever that might be.>However, you're completely stumped when he reaches the gates leading out of the city and onto the mountainside, and just keeps going.>You stand there with your mouth slightly open before scrambling to catch up, the guardsmares at the gates giving you suspicious looks.>Where could he possibly be going with that instrument out there?!>While Mount Canter was very, very steep, it was the capital of Equestria, and there were paths carved all around the mountainside.>Some ponies that liked going on REALLY long walks would walk the entire circumference of the mountain, and re-enter the city from the other side.>However, all those paths still were quite narrow, to say the least.>Going for a trot with a heavy cello was... A bit insane.>Your curiosity burning now, you keep following him at a respectful distance, trying not to clack your hooves on the stone too loudly, lest he be alerted now that the sounds of the city weren't masking your hoofsteps any more.>It takes a little while for him to reach his destination. You're not entirely sure how long, since you never were able to tell time all that well just from your internal clock.>Half an hour, maybe a full hour?>It's a bit of a clearing of sorts. Well, not really a clearing, since those are in forests, but you're not sure what to call the space on a mountain.>A plateau? No, that doesn't feel right...>Either way, it's a small, mostly flat space on the mountainside with a few boulders and shrubs near the edge, though still far wider than the extremely narrow path that led you there.>You blink in confusion as the mystery creature takes off the cello case, unlocking it and fiddling with the instrument.>Why? Why go all the way out here? Were the acoustics here amazing, or something?
>>41484621>You instinctively perk your ears, bending them this way and that, but you can't really say that you're impressed with what you're hearing.>In fact, the mountain wind actively steals away most of the sounds.>The anonymous cellist doesn't seem to care, though, setting the instrument up as he faces away from the mountain, and begins to play.>Your thoughts buzz like crazy with all kinds of new theories as you do your best to hear how good (or bad) he actually is.>Is this a secret hobby that he has to hide from his herd so they don't punish him for unstallionly pursuits? A bit extreme, but who knows. There are some strict and traditional mares out there, after all.>Is he embarrassed at how bad he is, and chooses to practice in complete solitude, away from any prying ears whatsoever?>Is he actually good, but has crippling stage fright?>As you analyze his playing, you'd say that he's decent but no master, though it's hard to tell with the wind.>Soon, though, he begins to sing, which makes all your previous theory crafting crumble as you listen to the words. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMcTdi1PJ-4 >"Oh, I am stretched on your grave>And will lie there forever>If your hooves were in mine>I'd be sure we'd not sever" >....Grave?>You glance around as he continues, noticing that one boulder seems to have been worked over with mason's tools.>Was it a grave? Was that even legal? You're fairly certain that you're not allowed to bury ponies on random paths... You think. >"My apple tree, my brightness>It's time we were together>For I smell of the earth>And am worn by the weather" >His voice is heavy with emotion. It's pretty clear that this is not just a practice piece to him, but something deeply personal. Genuine. Real. >"When my family thinks>That I'm safe in my bed>From night until morning>I am stretched at your head>Calling out to the air>With tears hot and wild>My grief for the filly>That I loved as a child" >Buck. Did you just stalk a stallion to end up creeping up on him mourning his dead wife?>"Do you remember>"The night we were lost>In the shade of the blackthorn>And the chill of the frost?>Thanks be to Jesus>We did what was right>And your maiden head still>Is your pillar of light" >Jesus?>You assume that the lyrics are something from his homeland, since it's not a piece you ever heard before. >"The priests and the friars>Approach me in dread>Because I still love you>My love, and you're dead">....Yup, you sure did.>You curse inwardly as you force your stiff legs to move.>It takes a titanic amount of effort to tear yourself away, your own eyes a little moist from the sheer, raw emotion in his voice.>This is clearly very personal to him, though, and there's no way in Tartarus you're going to interfere, or let him know that you followed him.>As you trot away, the final words that you're able to hear ring in your ears before the wind overwhelms the sound.
>>41484628>"I still would be your shelter>Through rain and through storm>And with you in your cold grave>I cannot sleep warm" >Your mind is numb and your thoughts are formless as you return to the city proper.>What should you do?>No, should you do something at all?>You really shouldn't.>There's nothing you CAN do.>It's not like you can just offer your condolences to him out of nowhere without revealing what you did.>It's probably best to just forget the whole thing, and keep it out of your mind.>So that's exactly what you do.>Over the years, your curiosity still sometimes make you wonder idly what became of him, but you always clamp down on those thoughts with an iron will.>You hope he found happiness again, but it's not your place to pry.>Eventually, you forget him completely. The end. Oh, were you expecting this to go somewhere? I'm such a tease.
>>41484617>>41484621>>41484628>>41484632WHERE WAS MY BRITISH DOMINATRIX SEX
>>41484632>>41484723HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THIS GREEN WITHOUT MY BRITISH DOMINATRIX SEX?!Just kidding, I actually enjoyed it.
>>41484632Cute and all. But there was definitely room to maybe try to create a relationship if ~~the author~~ Tavi really wanted to. Just have to bump into anon, start a conversation. . . yada yada yada. >>41484723>>41484733You'll just have to write it up where the original anon failed.
>>41484376Remember, they're little horses. The smell is a whole lot stronger for them than for you.
>>41484862that doesn't make me feel betterin fact it makes me feel quite a bit worsei don't enjoy smelling like an italian, anon
>>41484869Roll around in diesel fuel and potatoes. You'll smell like a Russian instead.
>>41484869at least you don't smell fr*nch
>>41485762>not grabbing her asscringe
>>41483047I just like that picture in particular. Something about the fatness of the ass. It's right at the border between "just right" and "too far."
Would y’all be interested in a green where Anon has magic, but ends up fucking up equestria, when trying to use it to help, ponies.
no
So it's safe to assume that the anniversary will be the 11-12 October for the weekend?
>>41487108>11-12 Octobernigga the anni stream starts TODAY, 4 hours 50 minutes away from the season 1 premiere
>>41486583depends, is it a comedy of errors or just Anon being an autistic faggot?
>>41486583I'd give it a shot
>>41487379Bruh, thanks bro. I almost missed it.
> during the changeling invasion, sweetie belle was fatally wounded. in her hospital bed, she's on the brink of death.mares, we can rebuild her. we have the technology. and rarity is rich as shit, so her insurance definitely covers it.thanks to twilight's studies, we have what it takes to make equestria's first bionic mare.Sweetie Belle will be that mare.she will be faster, stronger, and fluffier.https://youtu.be/VPYOoC076Ew?feature=sharedSWEETIE BELLE ISTHE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MARE
>>41488161>>41487382Good intentions, but because he kept the knowledge of what he was working on he sets a series of things into motion, which lead to a tyrant, taking over.I was thinking that him and twilight get together because he is obsessed with magic, and no one else believes in him, but instead I learning freindship he learns magic.Ultra nerd Twilight did it because she is a white knight and wanted to get laid, which she does,
Anon bangs big teaty goth GF and taunts her insanely overprotective father, y/n?
>>41490396How is this even remotely RGRE?
>>41433966>Caramel is concerned for Anon because he seems to be getting a bit grumpy here lately.>His brain quickly jumps past any reasonable explanation and just guns for the worst possible thing: Anon's obviously SUFFERING because he hasn't came in a while!>The human had no mare (or weird, monkey thing) around and he's been so busy with his work that Caramel was certain that Anon wouldn't have had time to buy "special toys" to take care of his need.>Yep, it SURELY isn't just because Anon has been having a shit sleep schedule or was getting tired of customers at the market, it just has to be because his balls were getting too goddamn heavy for his own good.>Obviously, Caramel sympathizes and tries his hardest to be nice and understanding with the man.>...much to Anon's confusion because, to him, it almost looks like a little girly horse trying really hard to flirt.>Guy's, uh, cute? But he isn't sure how to respond to almost daily "check ins".
>>41490364>and wanted to get laid, which she does,as long as you don't skip the hot, sweaty, nerd sex, I'll read it
>>41490797I mean, to be fair that's not entirely unreasonable. I get kind of grumpy if I can't wank one out after a while. Caramel is a complete bro. I will say though, what's to keep Anon awake at night? The computer and smartphones are gone. There's little else to do except for sleep at night.
>>41491855>what's to keep Anon awake at night?fear that the regrets he left behind will somehow follow him to paradise to ruin it too?
What are some non-physical traits that mares look for in stallions?>sense of cautionWhimsical feelings are what lead stallions into trouble>cooperative over competitiveGood for herds>supportive and attentiveMakes for a good husband and father
In RGRE, Pinkie and Dash are chads right?
>>41494011Dash is usually depicted as a jock with questionable hygiene, while pinkie pie is seen as a wagie that wastes all her money on partying. Neither are really Chads in RGRE.
>>41494314who is the chad of rgre? are all of the main 6 just different flavors of marecel?
>>41494333Depends. If you go with the idea that "manly" things are now "marely", then yes because they all love dresses and have varying degrees of Weirdo.If you go with "Manly" things being "Colty", however, then you find a situation where Rarity is the utmost authority of what it means to be a Chad/Trixie as she has a whole business dedicated to dresses. Doesn't hurt that she also has great practice with her magic and needles.
>>41490797>>Guy's, uh, cute? But he isn't sure how to respond to almost daily "check ins".>Caramel eventually gets worried enough he starts subtly-but-increasingly-overt pushing his sister on Anon
>>41494333Pretty much:Twilight - Spergy autistic mare who can't talk to colts without spilling her spaggetti or revealing her power level. Into animeigh and hyperspace hyper wars to her parents' dismay.Dash - Dumb jock with questionable hygiene who thinks they are Faust's gift to the world. Peaked in flight school and is always drunk and talking about that time she went really fast.Pinkie Pie - Party girl compensating for overbearing religious parents by partying for any excuse. Her 'talent' is partying, so she is constantly tweaking on whatever she can get her hooves on, hence the constant high energy and jerky movements.Applejack - Highly traditional hick from a hillbilly clan. Highly opinionated about how colts should behave while drunk on cider, which makes them uncomfortable around her unless they are also hillbilly trash.Fluttershy - Weirdo that lives in the woods with the Zigger and the hippie. No social skills, yet has a lot of fetishes that would shock the average mare let alone colt. "Friendly" with animals and the lord of Chaos for a reason.Rarity - Dyke in denial who would only be interested in a male so she could get tips to be a better drag queen. No colt would seriously consider her, though they would let her waste her money on them.The only real trixies in the show are tempest, celestia, spitfire, fleetfoot (?), and fleur.
>>41494333Trixie would be a Stacy.
>>41495511>tempestwhat a good mare
>>41495880There are worse.
>>41495511>spitfirehot
>>41478458Celestia we are not stupid, your stuttering with the stallions in solar guard happens every day, we have seen it now admit you were lying to look good on the ponynet and then I will let you in my room and give you all the head scratch’s hugs you want, I might even throw in some belly rubs for being such a good princess if you bring twilight and Luna along.
>>41495511give me the purple autistic
>>41495511Give me the hot pegaThough I'd take the lispy pega too
I want to take a big tough marely mare, flip her onto her back, tickle her until she's a gibbering mess, and then massage her until she's completely limp and relaxed.
>>41497196
beware big, sexist mare
>>41499116
>>41440793Dont know where it went, but it was a fun little story, I rather enjoyed the concept. Though it would be rather funny if the earth ponies could keep up with the Super Anon's strength in some metrics or at least in terms of endurance. I might be explaining it wrong, but the ponies would be working the long day and manage it with barely a sweat, meanwhile Super is having to make sure to stay hydrated least he faints from the heat exhaustion. Though that would be rather fun to see him bringing water to the ponies to make sure they stay safe while working and one of the mares most likely his mom has to swat at the help for trying to be lecherous at her adopted son who worries a bit that his ma might be too hard on the hired handsThen what might happen next is Super going and trying to help the hands out with a bit of speed as he zooms by but winds up tearing his clothes up by the speed he's running which leaves him tastefully exposed to show those muscles which has the mares going a bit wild in their admiration, cue Momma Mare getting the dreaded chanchella
Molly Tov is such a cutie
>>41477484If you had to pick a mare to be orphaned with Cadance wouldn't be a bad choice. I wonder how Shining feels about his wife's brother though.
>>41484632I thought for sure the twist was going to be that Anon doesn't have a dead wife. He just likes singing earth music in the woods and practicing rock carving.
>>41501009In this world of twist endings, sometimes the biggest twist is the most obvious path.
>>41495511I feel like Cadance qualifies. >Married her high school sweetheart >Almost immediately after getting married had a kid with him>The literal princess of love
>>41465689>Form a herd made of judges, lawyers and ponice offers>Even manage to snag a DA>Rule your herd with an iron fist>Pic related.
>>41492733One has to wonder what the purpose of whimsy in stallions is, at least from a survival perspective
>>41484372>You head back to Caramel's (and your own) house, a little apartment by Pinkie's place>It's still 3am and you've yet to sleep, with a date at 8 too>Caramel points you to the shower while he digs up some clothes for you>The soap is something fruity and citrussy>After making sure to scrub your grundle extra thoroughly you got out to find Caramel set up an outfit for you already>In lieu of a suit, it was a shirt and shorts with some kind of tropical flower pattern>You don't think Caramel would try to sabotage you>"Mares like colorful things and flowers are colty. I always wondered why you dress like you're going to a funeral. Black isn't a good color to wear.">Caramel brushed your hair, he seemed better with manes and kept giving you his own style>With a few hours to burn, too short to sleep and yet too long to walk back to the store you sat down with Caramel and he tried to prep you on how to interact with mares>You hadn't actually talked to a mare since you first got here, and that was Pinkie>Pinkie didn't count>"You should be on the lookout to see if she just wants to sleep with you. Take things slow and don't give it up so quickly. She's probably broke so don't expect much, and definitely don't say anything about her wings or her teeth. Batponies can be pretty sensitive sbout those.">Caramel chattered on>"Oh! Also don't walk right up to her, you're kind of tall and it can be intimidating. Compliment her ears, it'll show you're keeping an eye on her mood and help her feel comfortable.">This went on well into the night>As the sun began to rise, Caramel finally stopped with his talking and straightened your hair out again>He sprayed you a few times with some fruity cologne that smelled like mango, saying she'd like it>All that was left was the short walk back to the convenience store>Step by step, it felt like you were walking for miles, but there it wasI'll be back after this hurricane has passed. We're right in the path of it.
>>41501234Keeps ponies entertained and social. kind of important for a social species.
>>41501181She could be, but she chose a healthy relationship instead of banging colts left and right, so not your typical Chad.
>>41498026Okay we are a little stupid but your not proving your case, you literally, just stared at me, for the past ten minutes and could not form, any words.In your attempt to discredit me, you focused on the stupid thing which I knew you, would, even as I said it, I knew it was not true, however I also knew that in your attempt to call me out you would prove yourself unable to talk to colts.Just as planned No not really,
>>41501580The intention was to make you think about what was said, my little human. A classic strategy, "not dignifying with a response".Also, do you even count? You're not a colt, you're an alien.
>>41501211It's like the opposite of accidentally herding with rival mafia donnas.
>>41501293I wonder if Caramel is speaking from experience dating a bat pony, or stereotypes has formed them.
>>41501293>I'll be back after this hurricane has passed. We're right in the path of it.And with that, the curse of the propeller is fulfilled.
I want Luna to rant at me for 3 hours about "a stallion's proper place" and how Celestia has let modern Equestria become decadent and degenerate by giving them the right to vote and how she plans to rescind this right
>>41502713>diarchy>votingi suppose if you count the upper council sure there's a couple stallions there, but to my knowledge the princesses still have absolute power
>>41502713"Yes dear, of course dear" and then I scratch behind her ears and she melts. Mares talk about whimsical stallions, but mares are just as bad.
>>41502837that's just luna, who is a particularly silly pony, but a model horsewife
My sister has a great dane and it's already bigger than the ponies in the show. How emaresculated would they feel if a dog was bigger than them?
>>41501293Stay safe writebro
>>41501293Hey, me too brother. We get to die at the same time, how cool is that?
>>41502713I mean, she's kind of got a point.
>>41501293Good luck, man. Hope you make it.
>>41465689>Her hooves are light and nimble. She never sleeps. She says that she will never die. She dances in light and in shadow and she is a great favorite. She never sleeps, the judge. She is prancing, prancing. She says that she will never die.
>>41479071> mare version of Epstein> island of underage colts "massaging" their owners> an endless stream of milf mares to please, and a good volume of little colts to please them. but there just aren't enough colt hooves on deck to keep them all pleased.> but little boy Wally is the exotic new "seasonal item" on the menu. and he's so popular that all of the important mares clamber over him.> Wally doesn't know any better, he's too young to understand.> all he knows is that these mares are so happy to see him, and are so kind to him.good goddesses above, who i wouldn't kill to get that...
>>41504836What's she a judge of?
>Be Spring Cleaning.>The comare of the Soprano family, or the goomar in Equestrian English. The godmother, the mob mare. the mafia mistress.>Currently you’re seated at your rightful place at the head of the table. >The most prized seat – your husband’s lap. >Across the table your fellow herd mates glare daggers at you.>You merely smirk back at them.>‘Too bad. Should have been faster fillies.’>Your smug gloating is interrupted by your stallion’s fingers finding that special spot right behind your ear.>Your whole-body melts into the touch temporarily making you forget about anything else.>Eventually the fingers retreat, and you find yourself back in reality, now noticeably more relaxed.>“Thanks dear. I really needed that.”“Tough day at work?”>You give a small hum. >“Lots of garbage that needed taking out today.”>A half-truth. Let your colt believe you run a “waste disposal business”.>Grandmama Soprano always kept grandpa in the dark as much as possible.>“No need to worry a colt’s head with the family business. Let them stress about what they should make for dinner.” She told you once.>You took those words to heart.>Grandpa died never knowing more than he needed.>And he was happy.>Ignorance is truly bliss.
>>41505156>Be Deep Dish>Also a comare, of the Alto family, Balitmare’s second biggest Hooftalian mafia family.>Be sitting across the table glaring daggers at Spring Cleaning.>How you wished to wipe that smug look off her face.>She only got to Anon’s lap first because you where too busy washing your hooves clean!>Things got messy at work today.>And if the day couldn’t get any worse now you had to watch as your herd sister got dotted on.>It angered you. Almost as much as…>“How was work for you, DD?”>The sound of your husband’s voice snaps you out of it.>“It was uh…rough. Had to get rid of a delivery mare. She kept sampling some of the goods for herself.”>“Well, it’s hard not to get a little peckish when you’re hauling around pizza all day.”>“Yeah, pizza…”
>>41505159>Be Ace>The oyabun of the Steel Dragons, the biggest Neighponese Yakuza clan in Equestria. >The matriarch and surrogate mother to the kobun, the daughters of the Yakuza who serve underneath you.>Today a great act of disrespect has been directed towards you.>You called dibs on sitting on Anon’s lap!>And yet the foolish mare dares take what is yours!>And worse she has the audacity to act smug.>Such disrespect would normally be met with harsh and swift retribution.>But to raise a hoof against your family…would be unwise.>Still revenge will be had. >‘We shall see who is laughing when ever casino in Las Pegasus falls under the control of the Steel Dragons.’>Plus, you can take solace in the fact that Anon is wearing the kimono you bought him.>The one with your cutie mark emblazoned on it - a kabufuda ace card.
>>41505163>Be Shy Lock, real name Exclusionary Rule.>One of the BPD’s finest.>Currently undercover as a mobster and the newly inducted member of Anon’s herd.>Also currently sweating buckets.>Your two herd sisters look ready to kill Spring Cleaning.>You’re not sure why. >She’s just sitting on Anon’s lap smiling to herself.>Maybe there was a war about to break out between Equestria’s three largest crime families?>You stare down at your pasta Alfredo and poke at it, hoping neither Deep Dish or Ace’s attention falls on you.>Your hunger is gone at this point. >Shame since Anon’s a pretty good cook.>Reminds you a lot of Grandpa Tenor’s cooking.
>>41505168>Be Anon.>You knew.>These mares weren’t slick. >Thinking they could keep you in the dark with vague words and colorful metaphors.>Still you let them believe.>After all no doubt they slept better at night thinking you had you had no knowledge of the mafia’s innerworkings.>You chuckle to yourself and continue idly petting your wife’s head.>Married for two years at this point. >Met her about a year after you arrived in Equestria.>Hard to believe it had been so long…>And to think this all started when Fat Tony accused you of being a snitch.>You swore up and down you were innocent.>Too bad it didn’t save you from the ol’ concrete shoes treatment.>But hey, at least it led you here, to the land of colorful equines. >“Hey Anon?”“Hmm? What is Shy?”>“You’d never let anything bad happen to any of us right?”>You channel the immortal words of Donnie Brasco: “Forget about it!”The end. Just wanted to write something short about that mafia mares prompt from a few threads back.
>>41504836>"The freedom of stallions is an insult to me. I'd have them all in zoo's."
>>41504991Your sins.
>>41505199She can't actually see your soul however so she just pulls up your internet search history and judge you off of that
>>41505199I AM A MONUMENT
>>41505173this was good, mafia mares is always fun to read, though I wonder if any drawfags have made any mafia mares
>>41505173This is a nice green, i deeply hate crime tho, i dont think thers a mere out there that could love a violent vigilante like me...
>>41505716If it works for Bats, it'll work for you. Assuming you're appropriately charismatic. Though, given this is RGRE, as long as you're considered hot? You could have the personality of a wet 2x4 and still get the criminal mares crawlin' on your dick.Or maybe it'd be more.... flutterrape territory.
>>41504991Penis lengths.
>>41501234Equestria is a world that runs on cartoon and fairytale logic. In such a world where "just stupid enough to work" actually works without irrecoverable casualty rates, you need people prancing around and coming up with said stupid ideas, and you'd better do it fast before the competition out-stupids you.
I want to sensually eat raw oysters to fluster a mare.
>>41507257I want to do this and start puking and reeling from the smell, gradually thinning out the herd to find the freakiest mare in town so I can avoid her like the plague
>Be Celestia>You were seated in your personal office>Across from you were two very particular individuals, staring at you with big eyes>It had taken your guards three days to find them in the chaos that had happened after the incident >One was--or HAD BEEN you supposed-- a pegasus named Mi Amore Cadenza>She was from an orphanage in Baltimare>Her mane was frizzy and unkempt>She was covered in cuts at various stages of healing, and one of her front teeth had been chipped>The young filly had happily explained that the damaged tooth was the result of a scrap with her fellow orphans, whom had been bullying her "little brother">Said little brother was at least twice her size>His name was Anonymous>He also wasn't a pony>Frankly, you couldn't tell what he was>He wore a threadbare, patch-covered, worn outfit, and just like Cadenza he seemed a tad too thin and dirty for your liking>Being an orphan yourself, you made sure there was a robust system in place for those without parents>Perhaps you'd need to have Raven look into those orphanages run in Baltimare...>That would be for later however>At this moment, you needed to focus on these two children>You had read the report right before they entered >It was erratic, with dozens of eye witness accounts, meaning that it was somewhat of a mess, but you had gotten the general idea>A necromancer was using the negative emotions in the city for a spell of great and terrible power>Young Cadence, realizing this, helped the entire city overlook their issues and reservations and learn to care for each other>The necromancer was defeated, and the end result was an event that hadn't happened in thousands of years>An ascension>A twelve year old pegasus had turned into an alicorn, with nothing but the power of love>The young... stallion sniffed the air, his face scrunching up>"Are we going to jail?" he asked, his voice cracking>"Ohhhh, ARE we going to jail, princess?" Cadenza asked excitedly, leaning forward in her chair>Nervousness was replaced with irritation as the young colt looked at the filly>"Why are you always so excited about jail?" Anon asked, turning towards her>"Because all the cool ponies go to jail!" Cadenza replied, throwing her hooves up. >"...No they don't.">"Uh-huh! Like all the ones in the comics! You go to jail and then you get tattoos an' stuff!">"Why do you want a tattoo?">"To show ponies how tough I am.">"That's dumb.">"You're dumb!">"No, you're dumb!">"Are not!">"Are too!">You cocked your head to the side as the children bickered, seemingly completely forgetting about you>It was hard not to smile
>>41508811"Ahem.">Both children stopped, turning towards you"Nopony is going to jail," you said. "Despite how cool it may or may not make oneself, I don't believe that's the place for you, young one.">Cadenza visibly deflated>"Awwwwwww...">You let out a little snort, collecting a hoofful of papers and tapping them against your desk"Instead, I was thinking that with your new... powers, you might want to stay in Canterlot.">The filly froze>Slowly, she reached up and touched her horn>"Like... you wanna put me in an orphanage up here?" she asked>You shook your head"You would stay here at the castle, under my tutelage. With my help, and the help of some close friends of mines we will be able to help harness your new power for good.">You watched as a small, excited smile crossed the filly's face>Then, all of the sudden, it disappeared>She looked over at Anon>"...What 'bout Anon?" she whispered>You looked at the little creature>The hopelessness in his eyes made you ruffle your feathers>From the reports, these two had been together for a long time; at least five years from what you could gather>Colts usually didn't stay in the system for any length of time>It must have been hard for him seeing so many other foals coming and going...>To your surprise, he puffed his little chest out>"You should stay with the princess, Cadence," he said. "Don't worry about m-me.">Cadenza looked confused>It was very clear Anon was trying to hold back his tears>You had read what he had done during the incident in Balitmare>While others were running, this little colt had stayed with his "sister", somehow managing to fight off a group of shades that the necromancer had summoned>That fight had left a dozen cuts over his body as well as a broken rib, and even then your guards had found him carrying the unconscious Cadenza in his arms>He was a strong one, that was for sure>It was touching that he was willing to be left behind>That wasn't a thing you'd have happen, but it was a very brave and kind thought>"Not worry about you? I'm not leaving you, Anon," Cadence said. "You're my brother.">"You can have a family an' stuff," Anon replied. "In a castle and everything, just like you said would happen. So don't worry about me, just--"
>>41508832>Cadenza suddenly stood up on her chair>You were somewhat taken aback by the fire in her eyes>"I ain't going ANYWHERE without my brother," she said, puffing out her chest, tilting her chin up and shaking a foreleg. "If you t-try to take him away. I'll... I'll... P-Punch ya!">She started blinking rapidly, fighting tears as well>It seemed as if she had the same idea as Anonymous here...>You looked at both of them, trying very hard not to laugh"Well, I fear I can't say no to such a proclamation," you said. "You will both have rooms in the castle. Or a room together if that's what you'd prefer.">"Separate r-rooms!" Anon said, wiping tears away.>Cadenza wheeled around toward him>"What, you don't want to be bed-buddies anymore?" she demanded, wiping her own tears with a wing>"Fuck. No.--">Oh goodness gracious...>"-You snore, dummy, and I've never had my own ANYTHING before, 'specially not a room!">"I'm not a dummy! You are, you crybaby," Cadenza said, pointing at him. "Look at you, crying like some lil' colt.">Anonymous took a deep breath, his eyes filling with outrage>Before he could begin what you assumed would be a ten minute argument, you cleared your throat"Anonymous, I would very much appreciate if you didn't use that language," you said. "Especially if you're to be living under my roof. Do you understand?">The little colt deflated, going from angry to nervous in an instant>"Yes ma'am," he mumbled, looking at the floor. "Sorry ma'am.""Cadence, be nicer to your little brother.">Cadenza sat down, mumbling her apologizes as well>You allowed silence to lull for a minute or so before cracking a small smile"Cadence, I believe with your ascension you'd also gained your cutiemark as well. Is that correct?">The filly perked up>You watched as a smile broke onto her face>"Uh-huh!" she said, standing back up on her chair and showing you her flank. "I got it after we beat the tar outta that mean old lady!">Hmm...>A crystal heart...>Very interesting..."Well, in that case, I believe we need to celebrate you becoming a mare," you said, standing up. "Why don't I take the two of you to get some cake and pizza?">The two gasped>"Cake? I don't think I've ever had cake before," Anon said>Your eye twitched>"And the only time we had peetzer was when that weird mare in the back alley offered us some if Anon showed her his weird hooves!">Your eye twitched again>You were going to have to have a CONVERSATION with whoever the hay ran their orphanage...
>>41508842I bet teaching her to speak and act more refined was an... experience for Celestia.
>>41508842
>>41508842Oh boy, back alley pizza! What a deal.
>>41508842i like thingplease continue thing
>>41509202middle pic is very adorable
>>41508842Good stuff, LaP.
>>41508842>"I got it after we beat the tar outta that mean old lady!"kekthis is great
>>41508842Thanks, loved it>>41501293I wonder what will not go wrong
Writing promptAll women in the Western world replaced by rgre mare versions of themselves
>>41510667male rape grows 80%
>>41510667It would've made high school a lot more tolerable. Mares probably aren't making false SA claims against their exes every couple weeks. More genuine friends is a good bonus too.
>>41495511dyke in denial why you had to ruin it nigg3r? She's a whor3, rarity is a slut is simple
>>41510784>Mare whoreNah dyke is a better fit.
>>41508842this was fun, I hope you make more
>>4150884210/10. Love where this went, Anon. You could honestly end it here, it *is* complete.But I would be pleased as punch if there was more.>>41510667Why do you hate yourself and your fellow man?They're still western women, but now in the body of a horny mare that can't take no for an answer nearly as easily.Oh sure, the sex will increase, but so will the domestic violence because the men didn't modify in instinct with them.(actually, realistically most guys outside this board probably couldn't stomach fucking a talking pony. Might just be higher rates of violence only).
>>41511199Everything that makes them Western women (derogatory) is absent in the mare versions of them
new bread >>41511481
