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/out/ - Outdoors

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Tell me a story /out/. You guys have the best stories.
>Be me, 23, a shut-in NEET, living off tendies and energy drinks.
>Spend days browsing 4chan, gaming, and avoiding sunlight like a vampire.
>One day, stumble into /out/
>Get inspired.
>"Maybe this is it," I think. "My calling. My escape."
>Spend next few weeks obsessively researching camping gear, watching Survivorman, and imagining myself as a rugged outdoorsman.
>Finally, pull the trigger. Spend hundreds on top-of-the-line camping gear. Tent, sleeping bag, portable stove - the works.
>Gear arrives. It's like Christmas, but I'm Santa and the only kid on my nice list.
>Set up tent in living room for a "test run."
>Spend the night in it.
>Feel slightly adventurous but mostly stupid.
>Days pass.
>Gear collects dust.
>Every time I think about actually going outside, my heart races.
>Realize I'm more afraid of leaving the house than I thought.
>Visions of getting lost, mauled by bears and having to talk to people.
>Tent becomes my new gaming den.
>At least it's being used, right?
>One night, while gaming in my tent, have a realization. I'm camping, sort of. Just indoors.
> Decide to take baby steps.
>Start with the backyard.
>Spend 10 minutes setting up, then rush back inside.
>Too spooky.
>Weeks turn into months.
>Still a shut-in NEET, but now with an impressive collection of camping gear and a slightly less impressive collection of backyard camping attempts
this is somewhat sad but at least leaves me with some optimism.

You really need to push yourself and get out there anon, once you get used to camping you'll love it and you'll feel bad for having wasted so much time
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>Spend 10 minutes setting up, then rush back inside
you can't fucking spend 10 minutes in your own backyard?
how are you even alive? living off your parents' money?
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La Chasse-Galerie
what else do neets live on?
The time a guy almost had a heat stroke and died
>run meetup group
>plan quick overnight on 10 mile trail
>plan ~7 miles the first day, then 3 back to the cars
>super easy, “my first backpacking trip” tier
>two people back out last minute, so it’s just me and one new guy
>early 30’s, not athletic but not obese or anything
>dude is struggling after ~3 miles
>wants to keep going
>rains a little, sun comes out, now the forest is a steamy hot jungle
>get to camp
>he starts vomiting
>make him lie down in a nearby shallow creek so he doesn’t die
>watch him so he doesn’t pass out and drown
>passes out
>drag him to a shallow part of the creek
>wakes up feeling like shit
>goes to sleep
>wakes up feeling hung over

Heard this in an advertisement for a podcast
>hears something licking the side of her tent
>kick it because she’s m trying to sleep and it woke her up
>porcupine jams it’s quills through the tent wall and into her foot

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You never said it had to be /out/ related
>be me 21 virgin
>move to different city for an internship
>download tinder and create new account
>name is doge pics are of doge
>bio says "I will pay you to smd :)"
>swipe right on everyone
>get a few matches
>one girl is seriously interested
>short and chubby but cute jewish college girl
>add her on snap so she can see me
>she says I'm cute and asks for $80
>tell her that's too much for head
>she says we can fuck too
>go to her house
>sitting in the couch chatting
>she slides next to me
>we make out for a bit
>she asks if I'm ready
>of course I am, I'm literally leaking precum at this point
>clothes come off
>condom goes on
>she straddles me and puts it in
>proceeds to devirginze me with no mercy
>I stood no chance against her riding and fill the condom with cum in less than a minute
>she points me to the bathroom and I go clean up
>come back and we get dressed
>as I'm slipping my shoes on she asks if I have venmo
>tell her I'll message her my venmo then get /out/ of there
>never message her
>she never messages me
>block her on snapchat a month later
I wonder if she knew I was a virgin and an autist
>be me
>go on biking trip with friend on long paved trail
>second day in we go by a swampy area with lots of cat tails
>friend is biking behind me
>all the sudden it feels like someone is hitting me in the back of bike helmet with a long twig over and over
>think its my friend playing a joke
>look back annoyingly and see him swatting away a red wing black bird
>we continue down the trail only a short distance and take a break wondering what the fuck just happened thinking holy shit
>see a female inline skater coming our way.
>suggest to friend that maybe we should warn her
>friend shakes his head "no" and smiles
>we both watch as the blackbird attacks her head while she is continuing down the trail wildly waving her arms trying to fend of the feathered menace
>that day we learned that redwing blackbirds are very territorial when nesting and to not to get to close
>good times
find a low-cost therapist/counsellor and get them to help you through this:
doesn't take long (weeks to months)
got me from barely leaving my room to buying groceries by myself in 4 months
You really should speak with a therapist anon.
Keep going out you can do it anon
>weekend tenting with a group of boy scouts
>inna woods, about 40 km to the nearest town
>intel tells us that there’s a girl scouts group a few km away from
>time to prank them LOL
>we sneak to their camp at two o’clock in the night, start making scary noises and fucking around with firecrackers
>mission accomplished, time to gtfo
>run back to our own camp and go to sleep
>a couple hours later someone realizes that one somewhat stupid and fat bloke is missing
>we’re now scouring the woods and yelling his name
>we reach the girls’ camp and the cocksucker’s there sitting on a boulder
>everyone was quite relieved
>big bush party with friends
>buddy's girlfriend is being a snotty bitch
>she's bickering and killing the vibe all weekend
>city girl, not a regular camper
>drinking intensifies
>at some point the boombox ends up in the bed of my truck
>the party follows it
>everyone is jam packed shoulder to shoulder back there
>I get in the cab and fumble with the keys
>engine roars to life
>"wait for me!"
>I hesitate and check the rear view
>buddy's chubby girlfriend can be seen waddling over
>there's no room left for her
>she climbs up and sits ON TOP of the tailgate, the only vacant spot
>everyone else knows better
>nobody says anything
>someone cranks the music, signalling me
>I grip the 4x4 lever and find low range
>put it in gear
>step on it hard
>the torque response is instant
>she does a triple backflip off my tailgate
>hits the ground hard
>truck bounces away over stumps and ruts
>friends are all howling
>I can vaguely hear her making whale noises through the music and laughter
>check rear view
>she's rolling on the ground like peter griffin
>buddy is still back there, bobbing his head to the music
>eyes closed
>smiling peacefully
>no concern at all on his face
>be me
>9:00 PM
>decide to sleep outside
>the forest is peaceful
>warm air
>dry ground
>my eyes blink slower
>pheasant starts a loud ass mating call less than 30 meters away from me
>the thing won't fuck off and I can't find it
>go home
>12:00 AM
>sleep in bed
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When I was 15 years old I went on a small bike trip with friends over a weekend. We went through old villages, castle ruins, a lot of wood trails. I was the one planning the trip, we had one big tent. Maybe 50-60km over all, nothing wild.

There was this obese introvert kid from town whom we barely knew, he was maybe 12, but rather mature. He only spent his time playing vidyas, and barely spoke with his mother (who seemed to always be high on Vallium and Xanax). On her begging, our mothers had insisted we take him with us. Nothing too weird, but struggled on his bicycle as expected.

>On the first night, we camped innawoods, and we realized the guy slept on his back, hands and feet in the air, and snored like a pig.
We simply told him, but it did not help him make friends.
>Second evening, we went to a small village where we had the contact of a farmer.
>We ask him if we can sleep on the old castle hill above the village, he says he'll clear it up with the owner of the land.
> We realize there's nothing left of the castle, but whatever. We makeour fire, dine, talk a bit and go to sleep.
I'm sleeping next to the obese kid, but whatever.
>Middle of the night, I wake up to horrible snoring sounds.
>I gently push him to make him stop. No effect.
>I elbow him a little roughly from within my sleeping bag. No effect.
>I hear another kid moving in the tent, mumbling that it's enough.
I really want to sleep, so I get my flashlight and light it to wake him up.
>He's sleeping soundly, and NOT snoring at all. Nobody's snoring in the tent.
>Other woken up friend and I look at each other.
>The noises are still there.
We look outside and find more than twenty wild boars foraging just outside the tent. I knew our food was well packed so I chase them out (they didn't look aggressive).
>in our half-sleep we identified the noises of two dozen wild hogs with the ugly obese kid.
End of story.
Go do day trips first. Camping is nice, but camping alone is a hard first step. Also you should see if your bagpack fits etc.
>Spend hundreds on top-of-the-line camping gear
This was your first mistake.
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Where are you? If you're within a day's drive of me, I will take you outside. It is your calling. The first step is getting over that initial fear.
Sounds like the best trip ever (besides the fat kid)

Where in the world do you live?
Almost shot a critter like that lol

>be me
>18 fag anon, weed smoking prick
>camping next to stream
>go to bed
>wake up with giant wet nose sniffing me thru tent
>pull out sig (yes i have abandoned my sigger ways by now)
>about to magdump but decide to check first
>big fluffy dog

>pet dogie
>be me and friend
>day after Christmas, decide we want to do a hike to check out a lake he found on Google maps
> say why not since it’s in game lands and we pack up to go there
> stop and get powder and round ball since I got an 1858 for my birthday
> get there and try to load up at car, friend says it’ll take too long and just wait till we get there
>halfway through the 5 mile hike it gets dark
> starts raining Fuk.jpeg
> hurry it up so we can set up
> almost there and the trail we’re on leads to a massive mud hole
> we can see a search and rescue chopper with its lights on in the distance
> trying to find way around when we hear howling
> friend tells me to load up
> pouring powder and fumbling round all with haste as yote calls increase
> friend has his 9mm Rex out already
>once I’m loaded we start hightailing it out of there
> I can’t really hear the yotes anymore and everything hurts
> friend refused to stop out of paranoia
> eventually get to road
>still can’t hear them
> see street sign and realize it’s high noon
> 44.call round ball dead center
> can’t hear shit, sign wiggling like hell
> make it back to car, go to grocery store and buy some ice cream
> sleep like a baby
Thank god I had my six gun or else I wouldn’t be writing this
whyd u shoot the sign
sell that shit to me pls. post on ebay then share link here
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Haven't been on 4chan in two years. Listen to a lot of greentext. I am a 30 year old Russian-Ukrainian-American, born to a mother from Ukraine and a father from Siberia. They met in outside of Cleveland in their 30s. We grew up poor, but then slowly managed to find ourselves middle class in Chicago, then to the suburbs. I was a stoner, and I skateboarded a lot in high school, but always wanted to experience the outdoors. I didn't see my first mountain until I was 17, when I took a solo Greyhound bus trip to Northern California. From there, I fell in love. I've been to 30 national parks, forests, wilderness areas, and many state parks. I have been to 48 out of 50 states, with Rhode Island and Idaho last on the list. I was also a Marine, and active in extreme sports.

General /out/ stories (soloing Dick Proenneke's cabin in Alaska and being stalked by a bear, dumbasses getting us lost, other creepiness)
Growing up as a skate rat in Chicago (degeneracy/coming of age)
Solo bus ride from Chicago to the mountains of NorCal (degeneracy/out related)
Moving to Los Angeles with a shady Greek dude when I was 18 (debauchery/out)
Growing weed on a California angus ranch with a MILF for one year (debauchery/out)
My four years as a 4341 Marine combat journalist (Interviewed Barack Obama, debauchery, no combat)
Motorcycle trips around the country (several near death and wilderness related stories)
Travels around Russia (love affairs, almost killed my drunken father on a boat on Lake Baikal over a chess game/out)
Combat volunteer in Ukraine during the war in March 2022 (joined a militia in the southern front/war stories)
Hitchhiking Stories (crazy meth heads, California schizo's, transporting weed)
Extreme sports related stories (surfing, skateboarding, mountain climbing)
Two unexplainable experiences (creepy, weird)

If anyone would like a story, let me know and I would love to share. I keep an extensive photo diary, so I have photos, too.
Nice blogpost, Ivan. Go die in the mud with the rest of your slavic pig brothers.
Post whatever as long as it's /out/ related.
>here’s animal
>gets terrified
Damn dude, grow some balls.
hear* you fuckin tard
>>2699532 the unexplainable experiences please :)
France, not far from Switzerland, relatively flatter. I've had very nice trips in my highschool years, parents would cut us a lot of slack if we had a cell phone, told them where we went and were back on time. We (almost) always stayed on paths, sometimes got confused going through fenced properties (but when there is a right of passage you have, well, the right to go through) but never got lost.

There were a lot of hills, small mountains, rivers, lakes and abbeys and castles, sometimes ruined but not always. We sometimes knew the owners or keepers. There were also some villages that had economically collapsed in the last centuries and still had a lot of 16th/17th century buildings. I've been a boyscout there also, we had a lot of fun, though the weather was often rainy.

I've also been on the Swiss-German-Austrian border in Bavaria in those years, on the Constance lake, magnificent region. I was younger and we were usually with adults, but still managed to get chased by young bullocks, got into trouble in swamps and had the greatest difficulty understanding the local dialects. Bavarian law is very relaxed regarding camping, especially compared to the rest.
>Be me, 16, living in the mountains.
>Skiing in the mountains with dad and sister.
>Decide to hang back to take some photos of the mountains.
>Going fast to catch up, around 70 kmh (45 mph).
>Suddenly hit a bump, fall, and tumble down to the next flat area.
>I go to pick up my shit, but my right arm is paralyzed.
>Completely dead, all I can do is open and close my hand.
>Ski down somehow and meet my dad at the bottom.
>"You fell?"
>"Its the right arm?"
>He walks over and pops it back into its socket, and we go home.
It took like 3 months to heal, and is still a lot more fragile than the other shoulder.
cozy. I love the Doubs region.
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how were they so sure that giant stone monolith wouldn't subside so close to a high water table like that
Because it was high noon, obviously.
It's built on solid ground 3 good meters above the bank, and the river isn't very prone to floods at this place.

By the way the source of this river is picturesque too, it gushes forth from a big cave as it is a resurgence of the subterranean part of the Doubs river. Nice hikes there too. And a lot of karstic caves.
What’s up with Americans being this afraid of wildlife?
Don't want to hear it if you're a Euro.
Here's a funny one:
> Hot as balls in my apartment all summer long.
> No AC.
> Apartment is a 4 plex, but laid out perpendicular to the street, rather than lengthwise, my apartment is all the way in the back w/ a private (albeit tiny) little grassy lawn, blocked from view by a large hedge.
> Apartment building is black, and holds heat well. Bakes in the sun all day, and is hotter inside than out at night.
> I decide to pitch my backpacking hammock in the small private grassy area and sleep outside.
> Assumed I would be more comfortable this way.
> Was far more comfortable, until 3am, which is apparently when the sprinklers turn on (I've lived here almost a year but never knew this).
> One sprinkler pops up beneath my sleeping bag, spraying my underside.
> Another pops up in my raised planter bed(?!?!) and starts spraying me directly in the face.
> I fall out of my sleeping bag trying to get up, quickly gather my (now soaked through) gear, storm inside, and pass the fuck out on the couch, still damp.
> Wife finds me in the morning and just shakes her head.
one time I was hunting and I poopd my pant
>solo camping trip in central TX
>get to campground, they give me a campsite right in the middle of a bunch of families and RVs
>fuck this, find a super isolated spot at the edge of the park, no one around me
>set up camp, get my fire going, start drinking
>tiny bit of rain starts, keep drinking
>end up getting completely fucked up before sun is even down
>park ranger rolls up, i try to get up but can barely stand
>apologize for camping where i wasnt supposed to and for being so sloppy
>tells me he doesnt care, just says theres a big storm coming through and to be careful
>ok boomer lol
>rain starts to get heavier, decide to finally call it a night
>jerk off in the darkness and rain and pass out in my tent
>wake up to sound of water rushing
>think im pissing myself, check and im not
>poke my head out of tent
>guadalupe river is white water flooding over banks and is like 5 feet from me
>oh fuck oh god oh god im so drunk and its so dark and cold
>grab everything and run to car and just shove everything in backseat
>drive to highest point i can find and pass out in front seat
>wake up in the morning and drive over to campsite and its completely flooded
>be me, an intrepid but slightly clueless backpacker
>decide to go solo backcountry backpacking to find myself, end up getting lost looking for the trailhead
>gps is as useful as a chocolate teapot
>finally hit the trail with a backpack heavier than my future job prospects
>first night, pitch my tent next to a serene lake, perfect for a bear to skinny-dip
>hear rustling at midnight, brace for bear encounter
>turns out it's just a raccoon trying to start a podcast with my food supply
>continue my journey, aiming to conquer the unnamed peak I've dubbed "Mount Definitely-Not-Lost"
>halfway up, meet a hermit claiming to be the CEO of solitude
>offers me wisdom in exchange for my last energy bar
>his advice: "sometimes, the best way to find yourself is to play hide and seek alone"
>ponder this as I realize I've been walking in circles, the peak was just a large hill from another angle
>decide to head back, but my compass is now rebelling, leading me on a journey to nowhere
>next day, trek deeper into the wilderness, following what I think are animal tracks
>stumble upon a clearing, find a campsite, it's abandoned but there's a perfectly good chair
>chair becomes my Wilson, i name it Chairy
>spend the day talking to Chairy about life, realize i might be losing it
>decide to follow the sun back, because i read that in a survival book once
>end up walking in circles, thank the stars for breadcrumbs or in my case, ramen packets
>finally make it back to civilization, phone dead, covered in what i hope is mud
>friends ask about the trip, start to share but it sounds like a fever dream
>they laugh, i laugh, Chairy laughs, we silence Chairy
>reflect on journey, gained nothing but a profound respect for indoor plumbing
the end
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>be 23 year old /fit//out/ me in the physical prime of my life
>take 10 day long trip through southeastern Utah redrock country in the middle of July
>all by my lonesome
>stay away from other human beans at all costs
>swear off all bathing and anything resembling hygiene
>start with 3 days hiking in and around Capitol Reef NP
>somewhat smelly
>next 3 days spent hiking and dicking around in Escalante/Grand Staircae
>getting very smelly during this portion of trip
>can actually smell my unwashed ass and balls
>feel pretty satisfied with uncleanliness
>I’m feeling a bit lonely and decide to spend the next 3 days in Bryce Canyon
>full of 1000’s of dumb normie types
>still refuse any and all personal hygiene
>I’ve only changed my socks twice and underwear once
>spend first day hiking 20 miles in most popular hiking areas of park
>laugh as people avoid my stank ass
>children cry from the smell as they pass me
>visit the general store to find me some beanie weenie for dinner
>people gagging as I walk by them
>yuppie rich bitch starts telling me how bad I smell
>yells at the store clerk to have me removed
>grab my beanie weenie and head back to camp site
>feeling proud of myself
>back at campsite eating beanie weenie and listening to tunes
>park ranger stops by
>keeps a safe distance
>says he’s had complaints of a smelly homeless man harassing visitors in the general store
>tell him I know nothing of this smelly homeless man
>ranger hands me a handful of tokens to use in the showers
>tells me I smell like death and walks away chuckling
I hiked for two more days and then headed home. Didn’t shower til I got home. It was one of my best /out/ings I’ve ever had in my life.
Please enlighten me on what you’d do at night in the rain with a pack of coyotes circling you? Should I ask them for their stalking license first ?
Coyotes are literally just little puppy dogs and aren’t a threat to the average man. I’m pretty sure a woman was killed by some like a few years back but generally, they’re a nothingburger.
This reply is not intended to portray Coyotes as anything less than predators. I’m well aware of their biological purpose and as a Coyote hunter and eater I understand it quite well, it’s just they aren’t wolves on the scale of aggression.
Saw that coming a mile away.
Idk, make noise and scare em off? It's what I usually do.
>almost killed my drunken father on a boat on Lake Baikal over a chess game/out
Sounds kino.
>Two unexplainable experiences (creepy, weird)
>hiking granite mountain in AZ
>didn’t take a trail
>just started walking towards it
>get about halfway up and come to a relatively flat clearing with 3 tents
>it’s really quiet
>call out just to let anyone know I’m there so I don’t spook them and get shot
>no answer
>notice one of the tents is torn as the wind blows through it
I should have noped the fuck out at this point
>approach and see cooking pots left strewn about
>looks like a knife was used to tear the tent up, definitely wasn’t animal claws with how far the spacing was
At this point my hair is standing on end. It’s still really quiet and there’s no sign of anyone.
>decide to leave and continue my hike for another couple hours
Nothing eventful happened, I made it back to my car without issue. I’ve startled questioning if what I saw was even real. This happened like 12-13 years ago. What would make these people just vanish and leave everything? Were they attacked and chased off? Was this a murder scene? Schizo break?
God damn you sound autistic as shit lmao.
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>be me
>live on Vancouver island
>me, my buddy, his woman, and another couple decide to do the north coast trail
>3 days in, camped out on a pocket beach of baby head gravel with shitloads of seaweed lying around
>set up camp and enjoy some dinner and a bonfire watching the sun set
>starts getting dark, we've all been trekking pretty hard so everyone calls it a night
>I stay up enjoying the last of the sunset and the sound of waves breaking on the pebble beach
>have to piss so I step away from the fire and switch on my headlamp
>catch the reflection of eyes 80 yards down the beach
>oh cool, a black bear
>finish my piss, watch the bear claw through these piles of seaweed and munch crabs for a few minutes
>don't really want to go to bed with it around since I set my tarp up just inside the treeline not far from where it is
>whip a few rocks in its general direction to see if it'll move along
>it takes the hint, lazily disappears into the treeline
>can't really hear it moving around over the sound of the waves, not sure which way it went
>oh well, what the hell, if it wants to munch on me in the night there's not much I can do about it either way
>turn back towards the bonfire/tents
>catch the reflection of eyes again, this time in the treeline ~10 ft from my buddy's tent
>people are sleeping, don't want to yell or cause a ruckus
>don't want the thing around either
>pick up the most perfect round golf ball sized stone off the beach
>silently pray to Artemis and let loose
>perfect shot right between the eyes
>bear runs off faster, making a lot more noise this time
>go to bed, sleep like a baby

Absolutely gorgeous part of the world. We saw many more bears, eagles, whales, and salmon and even found huge whale vertebrae washed up on one of the beaches. I can't wait to get out there again.

give us the two spooky stories and for sure give the solo dick proenneke
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Here's another one

>be me, wildland firefighter
>get sent to shitfuck mines, middle of nowhere, northern Manitoba to action a fire that's threatening the only town within 500 km
>split up our 20 man crew into groups of 5, helo drops us off and we set up camp at 4 different locations on the fireline to cut line and lay hose towards each other to secure the perimeter
>big rain storm comes through, fire dies down, not much left to do
>still stuck out there for a few days for reasons that are above my pay grade
>consolidate into two 10 man camps
>dig a massive latrine pit to satisfy the demands of 10 grown men living on pasta, beans and processed meat
>few days go by, one morning the crew leader comes back from the shitter fuming mad
>"whoever decided its okay to leave shitty TP all over the place, go clean it up, wtf I can believe I have to have this conversation with a group of grown ass men"
>everyone starts side eying each other wondering who among us doesn't have the decency to put our shit tickets in the pit where they belong
>no one cops to it
>problem persists
>next time I go to the latrine I get about 10 feet from the pit and a furry brown streak comes flying out of the pit
>a fucking pine marten has been rooting around in our shit pit
>since there's nothing else going on we have to take shifts trying to keep this menace away from our turds

The little fucker wasn't scared of anything, probably never seen a human before then.
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>Be me
>Be experienced backpacker
>Go camping and drive to campground
>Ask for furthest campsite away from people in the on the mountain path
>Get assigned campsite seven
>Go and park at trailhead
>Get out backpack and begin walking
>It is a seven mile hike to my campsite
>Walk and get there
>There are boar signs everywhere
>Ignore it
>Set up campsite
>Nice hammock up, camp chair up, stove ready to cook
>Read meditations by Marcus aurelius
>Hear twigs snapping and gravel crunching
>Look around, two other people walking the path
>It is two girls one kinda chubby the other looks like a meth head
>It is 90 degrees fahrenheit
>They don't have backpacks, water bottles, map, anything
>They are actually lost on the trail
>They ask for water, I oblige and let them drink one of my two water bottles
>I guide them back the proper way with my map
>They walk on and later is asked ranger they say "yeah they left"
>Go back to reading my book
>Sun is setting, so I start my stove and make a meal
>Food is ready, I eat and watch the sun set
>Go to sleep in hammock
>Wake up around 1am to weird noises
>Rooting and digging noises
>Kinda scared but also really have to piss
>Try to piss from hammock, I can't
>Get up, hear the scattering of several animals, most likely boars
>Go back to sleep
>Wake up and pack up and start the trail home
>Hershey Squirt shit on the side of a tree off the trail
>Put backpack in car and go home

Honestly was a great trip.
No idea what those two girls were doing though, it was hot and they apparently were doing trailer camping.
Told them they needed to pack atleast water bottles, and a map of the area.
The amount of people who believed this story is concerning.
Never read this much horseshit in my life. Thanks.
>hiking in glacier national park
>see a glacier
>autism activates
>i must piss on a glacier
>go offtrail and climb for like an hour
>piss on glacier
>i am the coolest

[spoiler] inb4 if everyone did this there would be no glaciers shut up i know [/spoiler]
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>this is the origin of blood falls glacier
see a doctor
I knew a homeless drunk who woke up to a pack of yotes trying to eat his guts. Showed me some gnarly scars on his abdomen. Personally ive never had any trouble with yotes or wolves innawoods, they usually just pass by while we eye each other. One time i had a pack of some sort of canines hanging around my tent at night which worried me cause i had left my gun at home to catch a plane. Oh yotes stalked my little brother in ky as the sun was going down when he was about 8 or so. Heard him yelling so i ran down the trail with a machete and .22, they fucked right off when i popped some rounds off. I dont like them cause they try to eat my chickens sometimes and start fights with my dogs.
>be me
>dumbass teenager
>friend wants to go get stoned in a local nature reserve at night
>meet him there and apparently he invited like 3 other people, they’re nice folks tho
>hike for almost an hour to get to the spot. It’s nighttime. Pitch fucking black out and we’re all barely able to navigate with our phone lights
>get to the spot
>exhausted and just wanna relax and smoke with the bros
>about to spark up
>hear a coyote howl in the distance, everyone freezes to listen
>friend goes “don’t worry, they’re more scared of us than anything. Unless there’s a pack.”
>another one howls in the opposite direction
>then another, from another direction
>then another, closer than the last
>suddenly hear howling from all fucking directions
>mfw dozens of coyotes are howling within 300 yards of us
>fit bro is the first to run
>everyone scatters like fucking cockroaches
>phone lights flashing all around the woods like a rave as we obliterate the underbrush
>howling getting louder, transforms into barking and snarling
>make it back to our cars in 2 minutes, when the hike out there originally took almost an hour
>covered in spider webs and leaves and dirt
>get in car
>homie hops in passenger side and we just stare at each other like deer in headlights
>drive off without a word

I don’t hike without my gun nowadays.

Mates, coyotes are seriously not that dangerous. I've camped and lived around them my whole life and never had issues with them. If any got too close to camp, yelling or swatting with a stick was good enough. When I lived in LA (cursed place, never again), packs of mangy lookin yotes would form on our local track and stand right by you as you were running laps. no one got hurt

I carry funs innawoods because they are cool and I like them, no need to have other reasons.
one thing coyotes don't appreciate it's a poorly delivered joke

>I carry funs innawoods because they are cool and I like them, no need to have other reasons
Potentially useful in Grizzly country, but otherwise I agree. A pack of coyotes isn't gonna fuck with a group of people.
Mono = one, single.
Lith = stone

That thing is made of more than one rock, and you didn't need to say stone either.
I'm sorry anon
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>go for a jog on a local river trail
>public, lot's of runners
>couple miles in, need to poo
>pull a 180 and start heading back
>pressure building
>guts rumbling
>about a mile out from the trailhead now
>no way i'll make it in time
>it's now an emergency
>poo imminent
>didn't bring anything that could be used to wipe
>decide to take a chance with the river
>cut to the right and hop the 10 yrds to the river bank
>slide down the bank
>moments from release
>wade out, neck deep
>rainy, muddy southeast river
>total nude stealth from the chest down
>rip shorts off
>release logs
>serene pleasure
>floating comfortably on this rainy, beautiful river
>what a great afternoon
>slip shorts on
>climb up the bank
>finish jog
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a-and dilate?
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I've got this plot of land in the mountains at the furthest end of a winding trail (pic related.) I was in a real dark place, woke up, got in my truck, and went up there for the day. Just walked around the 7.5 acres all day. I spent that night laying on a tarp reading a book by lamp light and all the bugs in the world took their turn individually crawling over me. Something about it was beautiful. I'm headed up there again this Saturday to finally start clearing and building.

ain't much of a story but we're all gonna make it bros.
>night fishing.
>see some movement up the beach, looks like something crawling out of the ocean and into the shore.
>too dark to tell what.
>couple minutes later after my lines are reeled in.
>time to investigate, could be a sea turtle!
>get closer to the shape, it's in the dry sand now.
>shine my torch on it.
>it's a piece of driftwood.
>stay with my rods the rest of the night.
This was about 5 years ago.
>be me
>end of high school, going on a camping trip in Canada with my buddy
>we live in New England, and we're going to the Gaspé Peninsula in Quebec. About 7 hour road trip to get there. If you want to have a sense for the areas I'm talking about look up a map.
>it's May, so there's still a good bit of snow on the ground up there, patchy at lower elevations, enough that we brought snowshoes for the mountains. Picrel, not mine but from the same park same time of year (didn't feel like digging up the photos from my old hard drive).
>Pile all our shit into my buddy's old jeep cherokee and head up.
>Some snafus on the way, have to spend a day finding a part for the car in New Brunswick, camp in a parking lot, it's all good.
>Get up to Gaspésie National Park. The north coast of the peninsula is along the St. Lawrence River east of Quebec City and not urban, but there are consistently houses, businesses, fishing infrastructure along it.
>The national park is pretty much right in the center of the peninsula, along the one road that goes north-south through the peninsula. It's rural and wild as fuck, we see tons of moose, awesome mountains, and almost nobody around because it's not tourist season yet.
>We didn't really make plans for places to stay, so camp illegally in hidden spots around the park, on turnouts, river access roads, wherever, just set up the tent next to the car and use it as a base for hiking, snowshoeing, exploring the area. It's awesome, nobody bothers us
>One day decide to drive around the east point of the peninsula. It should be a couple hours road trip, but it's really cool coastline with cliffs. So we drive north on the road out of the park to the north coast, then east along the coastal road. Then once we round the east tip at the city of Gaspé, you can keep going south along the coast or go west inland, through the middle of the peninsula then rejoin the coastal road going back west towards the park

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>we take that route and go back inland (on route 198 if you're looking at the map), by this point it's mid afternoon
>forgot to mention that the whole time we've been driving, when we spot dirt logging roads going inna the woods we like to stop and go down them, never know what you'll see and the jeep is 4x4 so it's fine.
>Of course we find one of these roads and decide to go down it. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere. We also haven't passed a car going the other direction in at least half an hour
>The road looks like picrel. Not my pic, not from the same park, just the way the road is periodically snowy
>it's fine, we get maybe a mile up the road, blasting through the snow, no problem
>suddenly CRUNCH
>the last snow pile we drove into was hiding a deep dip in the road, illusion of level ground. The jeep is bottomed out
>Get out of the car to check it out. Immediately see wolf print (I'm a hunter and know a coyote or dog print when I see one, way bigger than those)
>Dig for over an hour, put stuff under wheels for traction, nothing
>starting to get dark, we have all our camping gear and food, no cell service
>were retard 18 year olds
>decide to go back to the road, try to wave someone down to help
>I go alone, buddy keeps digging. Agree to try for no more than an hour.
>Wait 25 minutes. See a truck, wave at it, doesn't stop
>Right at the end of the hour, see another truck, stops
>Quebec DOT guy, speaks no English, my French isn't great, but I explain and he gets it
>I get in the truck and we drive up the road. Come across buddy shitting on the other side of a snowbank on the way lmao.
>DOT guy tries to tow us, towline snaps. Then helps us dig for almost an hour with the better tools he has in the truck
>He refuses any money we offer for helping, we don't even get his name
>We go camp at a river boat launch, fun rest of the trip
>Continue being retarded to this day :)
So many more /out/ stories if anyone wants.

>be me 2 years ago
>24yo pretty normal but I'm posting here so
>going through breakup and stressed
>nature is my stress relief
>can't sleep, drive to a favorite trail well outside of my city, gonna go for a nitehike
>at the trailhead, spend a few hours going up and down the mountain, full moon so barely need my headlamp, summer so it's very comfortable, it's beautiful
>there was one other car in the parking lot but didn't see anyone the whole time
>come back down to the trailhead around 4am, feel a lot more relaxed
>outhouse is broken so shit in the woods by the parking lot
>spot a plastic grocery bag under bush, pick it up cuz LNT
>there's a wad of cash in it, rolled up with the rubber band like in breaking bad or something
>car is still there but looks empty
>take the bag and go home, count the money, it's like $2400
>don't sleep, immediately deposit it in the morning and put it all into my student loans
>that evening see read news that a guy was killed in that parking lot that night, photos show the same "empty" car from the lot, story implies meth related
>ofuck there was a dead druggie in there
>cops want to talk to "person of interest" with a car matching mine, but it's a very generic description and no plate info. "dark SUV" or some shit
>glued to the phone watching for updates for days
>no news stories mention mysterious turd near crime scene
>cops eventually arrest some meth head looking guy and no more updates
>tell nobody and nothing bad happens
>have nightmares about the scary guy from no country for old men occasionally for a few weeks
>keep nitehiking

Other than that I never felt unsafe innawoods, usually scarier going to the walmart after dark
>at a trailhead in western NC, about to go camp on AT for a long weekend
>almost nobody around cause weekday, not a holiday weekend just had a friday off of work
>pleasant weather, low 70s, partly cloudy, nothing in forecast
>get about a mile in and see old guy relaxing against a tree. looks kinda like woods themed santa, big beard, wide brim sun hat, garment that kind of looks like a bathrobe if it was meant for use innawoods
>no backpack or anything and smoking a corncob pipe
>before I can say hello or even nod he says "I wouldn't go up there today" and laughs, big booming voice and laugh
>the exact moment he starts laughing there's a boom of thunder, tall clouds that I didn't see before
>figure he's either a wizard or an amateur meteorologist mountain man, tell him that sounds like good advice, go back down, he doesn't follow me
>starts raining like hell the minute I'm back at my car, sit there for a bit, don't see the old guy come down
>only other 2 cars in parking lot also have people in them
>leave and get chick fil a on the way home then do a shorter hike the next day in a different spot
Thanks wizard man
> at Yellowstone
> treking on mountain bikes
> behind us is a thunderstorm several hours away according to radar
> trying to beat the weather and get a few more miles in.
> trail has a river crossing
> think we should stop here
> see smoke from a fire further down the river
> decide to investigate
> perhaps camp
> come across a mule and a teepee
> two old timers in fox and skunk skin caps and buckskins.
> asks if we can wait out the storm here
> skunk cap looks behind him at the clouds.
> i gave you half hour at the most, best hunker here
> mind if we camp the night?
> old timers: not one bit young bucks!
> hunker down and wait er out
> start getting tents out when fox skin cap old timer suggests we camp away from the river bank
> do so
> exactly 30 minutes later its pouring
> get caught in said rain still securing our bikes under our tarp and the sleeping gear.
> drenched, cold, miserable
> old timer knocks on tent
> he's got a wool blanket, a cast iron cauldron of baked beans with bacon chunks, and coffee
> instantly feel better
> rain lets up slightly
> go over to old man's teepee
> incredibly spacious
> fire ring on the inside
> peak comfy
> talk about fur trade, Jim Bridger, Daniel Boone, Kit Carson, and Hugh Glass.
> rain stops around midnight
> morning see the bank where we were going to set up is 6 inches under water.
> pack up and depart as old men make coffee and wave us goodbye
> those were the best goddamn baked beans I ever had.
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BE me in a national park that has lots of bears. Be on river kayaking on my ORU TM kayak. see grizzly bear cub on 1 side of river. turn my ass around and pedal against the stream fast as possible. See some white idiot family on a kayak. tell em not to go down there as there is bear cub of grizzly.
watch as they put their boats on the side of grizzly that i told em not to. see them try to take pictures. turn around and call em fucking idiots and that i hope their kids die a slow painful death. Turn around again and continue paddling. sadly they did not die :( i would have loved to record them being eaten and their screams.
I thought cave goblins didn't have internet
Havent really been consistently /out/ in years, but heres a whatever story from the first time backpacking.

>Going to university in Norcal
>Have German study abroad student move into dorm
>Instantly hit it off, cool guy, show him what America has to offer
>After some months of bullshitting, we actually start to make serious plans for backpacking for Spring Break
>Decide on Catalina Island
>His buddy visits for a few weeks for shits and gigs
Ill ff since theres some other details of the trip, but Id rather cut to the chase
>3rd day of backpacking on the island and we just left Two Harbors heading to Parsons Landing
>Talk to some strangers going the opposite way on the trail, mention some old lady got gored by a bison a few weeks ago
>We'd seen some Bison before, but were at a distance and didnt bother approaching them
>Hiking to the camp site, its getting close to dark, but almost there
>Walk past what looks like a near abandoned large scale camp that they most like use(d) in the summer
>Turn a corner and in front of us is a big ass bison right in the middle of the trail chilling
>Big as a fucking minivan
>They ask me what we should do since Im the American guy
>Head starts racing, think we should put our backpacks on the front of us in case it tries to charge at us so that we can drop em fast or at least have some cushion if it rams into us
>No clue if that was a sound strategy or not
>At this point it hasnt seen us and were just thinking of how to go around it since its getting dark fast
>Peak back around the corner and see theres a bunch of brush we can maybe go through to go around the wide way
>Bison was had its head down most of the time chewing, but at this point it sees us and stops what its doing, turns its head, and just stares right at us

>Decide its go around, or head back to town
>Fuck it
>We go around the bison while its eyeballing us and stumble upon a large area that looks like where its been staying at least in the short term since theres shit everywhere. Pray there isnt any more here since they usually move in heards
>Keep moving and ready to run at a moments notice
>Thankfully get back on the trail, keep moving some more, then take a huge breather

We were tired, stressed, and lucky we made it out fine. I wanted to take a pic, but I also didnt want that to be the last thing they find on my phone if I died
Kekd. This is why I always bring a tennis racket.
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About 4 years back
>Be me, Lancashire lad (UK)
>Luv me night time walks in the summer (no torch because I like the dark)
>Local nature park is pretty nice, ive been exploring it since I could walk and probably know it better than the staff
>Go out for my usual night walk on a balmy June night
>Tonight, something is different
>Feels off. Find my hand straying to the shitty dagger I carry with me in case of tweakers
>Nah, ill be fine
>Enter park, start to follow my usual route
>Suddenly my Gut starts screaming at me
>dagger is in my hand in o.2 pictoseconds, heart pounding, eyes searching
>Chastise myself for being a pussy, keep walking but dont put dagger away
>Really nervous now, jumpy as fuck
>Inb4 "lol knoife loicence"
>I would actually have embraced a copper if I had met one then and there
>Get to the dip down to the river and im actually panicking
>River mist isnt helping, could swear I saw red eyes in it
>Decide to nope out and head for the nearest exit
>Climbing the hill and im in full flight or fight, about ready to bayonet charge any shadow that twitches
>As im crossing the carpark the feeling starts to recede
>Exit the park and im only feeling a little nervous as im starting down the country lane
>Feel fine enough to stop by an old quarry on the way back and watch the moon set
And that would be it, I would put it down to a weird nervous break except
Picrel is from the other end of the park
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>About a month later
>Gonna go do STALKER challenge at an abandoned building in the park
>Put my kit on, full /k/autist gear queer, the works
>Bayo (AKM) inna bag because normies would call the rozzers if they saw it
>Walk into the park early and look for a good campsite whilst chilling
>Come midnight, finally sure park is empty
>Walk back up the hill from before towards the building
>Feeling nervous but put it off
>Suddenly, hear running hooves
>Theres a streetlamp in one of the fields, for some unknown reason
>See what I think is two deer running underneath it
>Deer get closer
>Brain fails to register the ohshit this should be as im stood in the open and very obvious even in the gloom
>Lead red deer vaults the fence and lands an arms length in front of me before skittering off up the path
>"Cool so wheres the secothe shit is that?!"
>Look over the fence to see the second "deer" slinking off into the shadows
>Thats no deer, thats canine
>A canine the size of an adult red deer
>Black/dark fur
>Gutteral snarls and growls start coming from the dark
>Brain kicks into overdrive
>Bayo is uselessly in my backpack
>Pocket knoife aint gonna do shit
>Running is suicide
>My bag and gear make me look bulky and odd
>Settle for standing there and making myself look as big and threatening as possible
>Feels like hours, maybe only minutes
>Noises finally cease
>Feel slightly less shitscared as whatever it was slinks off
>Continue up the path, check out the building, then retire to a small overlook and hole up there for the night, close to where I no longer felt threatened the first time
>Wake up in the morning to a beautiful valley filled with mist, dew on the grass, etc
>Feel a lot better
Ive never encountered it since, but I always carry a proper knife, and my walking staff, these days. My axe too, sometimes.
I've seen this posted before, but didn't want to say anything since there were so many positive encouraging responses.
Good on you. Your senses were picking up something. Not saying it was ghosties, but the gut knows when something's up.
it's not hard to get the spoopies randomly when /out/ innadark like that. same as you, I'm comfortable as horsecunts in my own woods and nearby nature reserve at night 4 out of 5 times, but sometimes it's just not right at all. like the crickets have been spooked by someone else or something subtle I'm picking up on like that
I'll recant a full trip which was one of my more memorable solo trips.
>Go innawoods solo (state campsite)
>Hour hike to my campsite, couple horseflies but not too bad for a couple miles backcountry
>Set up camp, nothing crazy
>Rained hard on the drive up>Was staying at a legal campsite at a state forest
>Didn't have any dry wood
>Area's picked fairly clean of shit on the ground
>No dry wood within
>Didn't bring anything more than tinder
>Used my Bunsen burner of a liquid stove for cooking, still didn't have the friend "campfire"
>Make food, read until bedtime
>Oh cool the adjacent swamps have fireflies
>Single at the time, really REALLY wished I had a gf to share the romance with
>Like seriously with the number of fireflies skirting around the campsite you could put a nun there and she'd still fuck
>Go to bed, still no comfy cozy fire, still salty about it several years later
>Breeze wiggles tent, no big deal
>Wake up and hear a crack some hours later
>A beaver, woodchuck, or some other shithead rodent running away like he stole some car keys
>In my direction
>Writhing dead excuse for a tree wobbling in the direction of said rodent
>Tree lands about 2ft (half a meter for you international types) from my tent
>Can't sleep rest of the night
>That was not far from killing me, all things considered
>Like, it would spoil /out/ if I cared about myself.
>Make halfhearted attempt at reading my book until the sun comes up
>Start walking back to car
>There are about a thousand times the number of horseflies from the hike in
>They like to bite
>A lot
>Finally get back to car, already seeing my skin bump up from fly bites like it's leprosy
Anyway all said and done it was a 8/10 experience and I've actually camped at that same state forest since.
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I think ultimately this is actually one of the great things about going /out/, and going alone. Not the near death experience with the widowmaker, fuck that shit. But just the time to appreciate shit and have some solitude to reflect, even if it's yearning or dissatisfaction I think it's just elegant and healthy. Glad you didn't die anon, but glad you got to see that cool shit like the fireflies and even the rogue beaver.

My stRoy:
>be me
>living in my rural redneck hometown for a couple years while "between things"
>really into camping, nature photography, field recording
>one summer night decide to record the wildlife at a swamp in a 1000-acre nature reserve a few miles down the road
>hop on my mountainbike
>huff down there just at twilight
>lock my bike to a tree and take my pack of gear into the woods
>dark and spoopy, no moon at all this night
>hike about 30mins through the reserve until I get to the swamp
>hastily setup all my recording gear at the edge of the swamp; so full of frogs and crickets and insects and beavers and birds, perfect
>once it's recording it's basically completely dark out
>hike about 15mins away from the recorder so I don't interfere with any wildlife
>get to the big rock™, a giant boulder about the size of a single car garage
>scuttle up the side and sit atop to just wait in silence, want to get at least an hour+ recording
>dark as fuck, can't see my hand in front of my face, looking up through the trees I can see a few stars peeking through, that's it
>after about 30mins or so I get bored, pull out a ciggie
>flick my lighter
>there's a big fucking lion face right in front of me
>it runs away, crashing through the woods
>a fucking mountain lion was skulking up the boulder about to fucking neck me
>turn all my lights on and book it back to the recorder
>packup as fast as I can, still takes like 45mins before I get back to my bike, horrified I'm being stalked the whole time
Short storpicrel is AI.

>be bunch of boy scouts
>12ish yo at summercanp
>hiking through the Ardennes in Belgium
>stumble upon a caravan smack in the middle of the forest far from any decent road
>go inside and the walls are pinned full with newspaper clippings
>place is dirty but looks recently used/visited
>get out and continue hike
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Im pretty sure it was the great big dog thing stalking me, and to this day its the only answer I can come up with. Hear you about the gut, its amazing what it can tell you. Ive learnt to listen to it, its pretty much always right. One time I ignored it recently, and my brother and I were almost orca'd.

Aye, I hear about people getting spooped innadark, but it usually never happens to me. Ive wildcamped around Lancashire for years, night walked, and loved it, never had an issue. the only reason im armed is because we do get weirdos every now and then in the local area, and when I was younger I had a guy start following me through the woods then start wanking at me, and ive been followed by men before, even had 2 try to corner me, but one of my carries usually puts a stop to anything, something about shiny steel really puts the would be rapists off. Been meaning to start hunting them for a few years now but time plus location have been an issue. Your right about senses, it is amazing what they can pick up on without us even noticing, small, subtle, things that they snap on to as something out of the ordinary.

Have a shot of Pendle in the mist
>owns badass camping gear
>camped inside
And you made this anon smile.
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>be southerner
>don't really speak with too much of an accent, especially compared to the try hard high schoolers wearing real tree shrits with fish hooks on their hats
>move to the city cause job opportunity in cushy office
>people immediately latch on to me as a general handyman/mechanic/outdoorsman
>one day they ask me questions about fishing
>ask why I'm the guy they go to for this stuff
>"you just talk like you know that stuff"
>ask what they mean
>they giggle and show me the video of a guy saying "you can call me anything you want, but don't call me that"
>"You kinda sound like this, anon"
I thought I was fitting in
>no torch
This must be a pretty old story, most people use flashlights nowadays
>One time I ignored it recently, and my brother and I were almost orca'd
go on...
Concerning the canine. How did it look further? Wolf-like or more like a dog? Sounds kinda folklorish and I believe you in every way. Reminds me of Black Shuck
not a spooky story or anything
>be me
>going through a difficult time
>living that /fit/ life for half a year
>listen to crypticed greentext while working out
>decide I need to spend a week innawoods
>going to family ranch where alot of spooky shit happens
>talk with femanon about skinwalkers and all that at work
>joke with femanon that I should get some holy water before I go
>leaving work earlier so i can get out there
>femanon bumps into me as im leaving
>"you need to take this"
>hands me a small box
>it contains a vial of holy water and a bottle of blessed salt
>apply it to my weapons and gear

I didnt get to fight a skinwalker like I hoped but it let me know i was cared for
Did you guys eventually hook up? Did you fall in love and live happily ever after? Please say yes.
funny one
What an absolute legend
you ran into Tom Bombadil
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I wish this would happen to me this sounds like its from a movie. I work with a Canadian and he says that Canadians are pretty horrible to the indigenous population, is this true? (which country isn't desu)

>be me, Australian
>my and my friends always go beach camping and we found a spot we haven't been to yet, looks pretty nice
>surprise surprise this weekend its meant to rain like 100mm (4inch) in one night exactly where we are camping.
>get call from ranger on the way there and he states the spot is closing down for the weekend due to harsh and muddy conditions and impending rain, feels bad man
>we find another remote beach camp spot close by
>whole site is empty due to monstrous rain event
>pisses down on the first night and there is large timber everywhere so we build a fully wooden protective structure with palm leaves and get drunk.
>next two days were full sunshine and we spent it driving up the beaches and kicking a football with not a person in sight
>actually we did see one person on the way in, some lady with her whole car deconstructed (seats were unbolted and removed from the vehicle) and she was scrubbing the chassis whilst her demon spawn kid played with a tyre (no rim) and stared at us whilst we drove passed.
>pretty sure she had just murdered her husband and was cleaning the evidence.

>picrel our structure looked like this but was more structurally sound also without the fence
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Youre either a really cool guy who understands difficulties of life that some people endure or a serial killer
Either way i like the effort
This one time at summer camp, I shoved a flute up OPs bussy
>lifelong /outist/
>big life changes happen
>having a hard time reconciling things
>decide to take time off and just think about stuff in nature
>also tend to lean toward the extreme, and like ascetic practices
>decide to go to desert
>make sure to bring enough water, sun shade, general basic survival stuff
>go a little light and bland on food, bring jerky, plain crackers, dates just in case
>have lived in the desert for months before, not worried
>get to desert
>hot as fuck, but beautiful
>set off and hike down a sandstone and basalt canyon, through fine sand and sagebrush
>sun beating down on me but the constant breeze in the canyon feels amazing
>coyote crosses my path, we stop and look at each other for a while, he runs away
>waterfall a few miles in at the end of canyon, can feel the cool mist on my face as I get closer
>strip down to underwear, shower in waterfall, feels incredible
>hang out for a while, dry off on a rock in the sun
>soak shemagh in water and set off
>spotted a mesa up 200 feet of scree leading to the mostly sheer canyon edge, not quite on the level of the surrounding plateau but high off the canyon floor, great spot to camp
>nobody will fuck with me over there either since it's so hard to get up to
>it's a tough climb with a ruck on, I'm tired, but make my way up
>get on mesa, wind is whipping up the rocks
>don't feel good, but figure that's just being tired, hungry, and hot
>dismayed to find only small rocks, takes like an hour to get piles big enough to tie my sun shade down to
>sun shade acts like a sail and is whipping like crazy
>crawl under, decide to rest for a while
>tunnel vision really bad
>check my water, I've been drinking a ton, pissing lots, i'm not dehydrated
>wait it out for a bit
>can't catch breath
>heart is still beating fast
>leg cramps up out of nowhere
>but I drank enough water
>oh no
ya it all worked out
>realize I didn't eat dinner the night before
>gad no food that day besides coffee, some dates, plain crackers, and smoked meat
>so no salt and a ton of water
>remember watching people get fucked up from not eating enough food innadesert
>open up emergency packet in pack
>no fucking salt or electrolyte
>car is parked on other side of the canyon
>20-30' pillars of basalt between me and the plateau, can't just climb up and walk over to car
>take deep breath to calm down
>pack up carefully, but quickly, fighting panic
>hobble down goat trails, barely make it to the scree, carefully make my way down
>resting every few minutes, trying to get heart rate down
>make it to canyon floor
>have to climb long, steep trail up past waterfall
>longest walk of my life
>genuinely wonder if I'm going to drop
>make it to car
>throw ruck in the back
>drive to nearest gas station in silence
>heart still racing despite ac
>pull into gas station, reminds me of the gas station in No Country
>walk to cooler section
>get two bottles of gatoraid's pedialyte substitute
>sipping one on the way to the register
>guy behind counter says "ye gotta pay fer that ye know"
>hand him my card
>"ain't a talker, are ye?"
>sounds like I'm underwater
>shake head
>get receipt, sit in car sipping electrolytes with door open
>small town autistic mexican walks up and starts talking at me
>grunt back
>i am his friend now
>distinctly remember thinking "I feel like a hot dog" over and over while an autistic mexican narrates by sharing dragon ball z lore
>eventually muster "okay I'm going now"
>drive 3 hours home
Thank you, kind anon. Never heard of that story before.
Why is /out/ full of NEETs?
>I work with a Canadian and he says that Canadians are pretty horrible to the indigenous population, is this true?
If you had to interact with them maybe you'd understand why.
I've done that a couple of times,while swimming.My friends weren't too pleased.
Worst backpacking trip of my life

>June last year
>decide to go backpacking with buddy who recently moved back to CO after living in CA for 2 years
>this buddy is typically experienced in the mountains, we have done winter backpacking trips before
>plan to go for five days, pack a shit ton of food
>packs cant fit it all, decide to remove our spare stove in favor of more food
>we set off for the mountains, trail starts at 9k ft elevation
>day 1 we plan on hiking 5 miles
>half a mile in and he's feeling tired so we already take a break
>keep having to take breaks for him, we assume it's the elevation getting to him
>3 miles in at 10k ft elevation trail suddenly there is snow
>we try to hike through it and it quickly gets way too deep for us
>turn around, decide to camp right where the snow starts and figure out a new plan for the remaining days
>start cooking dinner
>he's boiling water for rice while I'm cutting a sausage with my back turned a few feet away
>"uh, anon I think you should see this"
>holy fuck the whole stove caught fire
>yell at him to turn the gas off
>the second he twists the knob a bit, the whole thing erupts into a massive fireball and the gas cylinder itself is on fire
>start grabbing armfuls of snow and huck it at the stove
>it eventually puts the fire out and am able to twist the gas valve off completely
>the water in the pot was still lukewarm from the fireball, so we poured it into our emergency mountain house meals
>proceed to have the worst tasting, semi cooked dehydrated food of my life
>decided we'll go back down in the morning, drive to a store for a new camping stove and then try again at lower elevation
>next morning while hiking down, he's breathing real hard
>we're taking even more breaks than before
>his heart is hurting
>oh fuck it's elevation sickness
>we get down to the car and I drive down in elevation as quick as possible
>he's still feeling like death the whole time
>call off the rest of the trip
>post in thread
>it dies
Anyone else know that feel
>kick it because she’s m trying to sleep and it woke her up
What a bitch
More often than not, anon.
During summer camp a guy found a WW2 artillery shell, a big ole 105mm to be precise.

He wanted to take it home for a friend of his and declared it safe after kicking and throwing it. Luckily somebody called bomb disposal and they took it away after confirming it was still live. They detonated it a few miles further with some extra C4.

>mfw he almost got everybody killed
why would an ancient being from another rælm in another world be named "Tom"?

Toalken was totally making this shit up as he went along
Similar event. Grandpa had a "dud" WWII 40mm AA shell that he acquired for a paperweight. Filled with sand. On a hot day as a small kid, I stopped playing with the shell as my toy rocket. Told papa what I saw, blue-green vaseline leaking out between the warhead and casing. He looked and screamed for everybody to get out of the house and we ran off. Called the sheriff and the bomb.squad came out and detonated it. It had been live and we watched a tall column of black sooty smoke rise and felt the whumpf! Wups.

this used to happen to me all the time just in normal life. you were 100% in AFIB and your blood pressure was probably shit. youre lucky
I got chased by police at 1am for writing coomer on an electrical box on the same street as the police station
The whole LOTR books are basically translated from whatever language the hobbits speak, like Sams' real name isn't really Sam.

Same thing with Tom
Thanks anon, I hadn't laughed like that in a bit
>Verification not required.
That sucks, how does it come up for you? How do you deal with it in the moment? I haven't had any issues since, thankfully.
American here, but the non-retarded kind. It's a mixture of a lot of things. Video games and television have a lot to do with it. Generally speaking the average American male today is either fat and/or very estrogenic. So they're scared of their own shadow. They shoot everything that might send them into a panic. It used to be that women were the only ones who would do this with a firearm, but now the men too it seems.
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Aw shit I was just walking by the other day. Had a friend visiting from overseas and thought the cemet'ry would blow his mind. It did. Good times.
I tagged ACAB ON the police station. They covered it up with a traffic safety banner for months.
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Kill yourself
do you do walks in nature? you don't have to spend the night...or just sleep in your car...seriously.
Cops are fags, but you're a gay faggot
What about the other pant ? Normally, you always have two.
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On my lunch break about to go camping later in the day, but feeling depressed and missing a lot of my old friends. So here’s a story when I was far less /out/ inclined and had total fear failure.
>be me 24 years old (28 years old now)
>have super outdoorsy friend from college that moved back to Vermont for work.
>he wants to hike the long trail, unfortunately I’m poor and have to be a wagie (ended up buying a house later that year so worth)
>we decide to hike a segment of it, cool beans I thought! I don’t have to drop several hundred on decent UL gear so I threw on my old 65L pack and threw in a nice blanket, a 4P marmot tent, basic food, a flashlight and threw on an old pair of timberlands I had.
>we drive both our cars to the start of the trail near Smugs notch and we park his car by some trail 20/30 miles away. Park get out and start hiking.
>make it halfway and notice my bag starts ripping. Fuck I say, figure we can keep going until we reach the leanto.
>realize I was totally unprepared for this, my bag weighs twice as much as my friends, I have no trekking poles, and my feet are killing me.
>we get to the shelter and I assess the damage. The whole fucking side where the shoulder straps are on is totally frayed. (Pic related)
>spend the remaining 2 hours of light sewing my bag up, end up making it look semi respectable.
>hear my friend start swearing, he turns the corner from the lean to and he broke the vodka bottle we brought for the next two days. Turns out the retard had it facing forwards the outside of the bag and he wacked it on a branch breaking the neck off. Fortunately there’s still about half the vodka still in the remaining bottle so we sacrifice a bottle of water to hold the remaining.
>smoke some dope, drink some vodka, sleep and have a good night. Look at the countryside and actually feel pretty good.

ffw tomorrow:
>wake up groggy and not comfortable, sleeping pad was not all that.
>walk about three miles, my bag breaks.
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>have duck tape the only saving grace.
>ducktape wrap my bag multiple times and get it to hold.
>continue walking make it to next spot camp have good time :)

Ffw another day:
>pic related is the trail, windstorm came a week prior and all the trees fell over creating an absolute maze
>last day and at this point want to kms do to the gear failure
>shoes are falling apart now too, have to tape them as well.
>sweating like a whore in church I continue to wrap my shoes.
>friend tells me that we’re only 3 miles back to the car.
>uneventful descent ran into a few through hikers and we chit chat nothing seirous.
> get to the gap and can see his car, we smell and look terrible.
>we get in car, turn the ignition annnnnnnd batteries dead.
>we both laugh at this and spend the remainder of the afternoon flagging down cars with the hood open. Fortunately a jeep bro looking like he was kitted out for overland camping gave us a jump and we went on our merry way.
>he drops me off at my car, we stop at a gas station for some fuel.
>take red bag and throw it in the fucking trash along with most of the cheap gear in it.
>make it home and order Kelty backpack and real fucking shoes.
Camping has never been better now :)
just play dayz
My grandfather's brother was plowing the field last summer and heard a "thunk". It was a bomb from WW2. Army came and detonated it right there in the field. Was pretty cool
crikey mate
It's fucking crazy how many unexploded bombs, land and sea mines still go whumpf 50, 60, 80 years since they were dropped.

On one hand, amazing manufacturing quality. On the other hand, maybe 100 years of kids getting blown up.
>camping a day's walk from the start of the trail at Blackheath in the blue mountains
>end of summer so still hot
>open my second water container, still a drought at this point so I'm starting to think of all the people that perished walking down here over the years
>they usually the sort to come down with thongs and a snickers so I'm probably fine
>the next day still thinking on heading back if I can't find some water to boil
>walk about three hours with the intent to pack it in at lunch if I can't find some water to at least boil
>trail is rough, no signs it's been used in years. Might not even be a trail.
>see an old tin shed right up against the cliff
>figure it might be an old miner's shed or something
>chained shut but the wood is so delicate that the doors come open with nearly no resistance when I was testing it
>it's a cave that goes right into the side of the cliffs
>this is good because everyone knows cave water is the best thing you can drink
>have a decent head lamp and back up torch so there is no chance that I'll get lost and die like in the catacombs
>about 50m into the cave there's a sharp drop and an old pitted iron ladder
>test it out and it's solid like the cave has grown around it over the years
>can't see the bottom, it's an awkward squeeze to get on to the ladder
>start climbing down
>and down
>feels like the longest ladder in the world and get a touch of vertigo when I realize how deep the hole was
>take pic related with my backup spotlight - it felt a lot longer when I was on it
>the cave opened up a bit at this point so make my whey down
>stalactites and intricate lattice formations as far as the eye can see
>notice that's farther than my dim headlight should allow
>turn it off
>there's a light source down here!
>from around the curve of the path ahead there is a definite green glow and a faint sound
>doesn't look like it's just the other side of the cave and daylight, it's moving
>it's moving in this direction
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>still live with my mother
>she knows I like to go /out/
>always asking me when is the next time I'm going, where I'm going, what I plan on doing
>haven't been in forever though, just couldn't work up the energy
>tells me she heard of a Facebook group nearby that is hosting a hiking trip
>just show up, bring your own gear, etc.
>day of the trip
>show up at the beginning of the trail where they said they were going to meet
>there is one woman standing there looking around
>ask her if she was there for the trip
>she tells me she is a regular member of the Facebook group
>apparently there was a lot of drama a few days before and she didn't know if anyone was going to show up
>the main guy was a crackhead and beat his girlfriend/unofficial wife who was also a member and a different guy who had a crush on her said he was going to kill he guy if he saw him on the trail
>the other people in the group were steering clear since they didn't want to be in the middle of a homicide
>get the inkling that maybe I shouldn't have gone on this trip
>the girl asks me if I would like to hike anyways and says it would be a waste of a trip if we don't
>why the hell not, I need to get moving anyways
>she says it'll be just the two of us
>while hiking she keeps saying stuff like "people won't know what You're doing 10 feet from the trail as long as your quiet" and various other thing alluding to sex
>smart enough to pick up on the hints, too autistic to capitalize
>I have the subtlety of a porn ad so instead of flirting back I just walk silently other than saying "hmm" and "really?"
>just wishing that she makes the first move
>she says the forgot to bring water
>offer to let her drink mine
> she starts licking the mouth of the bottle like a dick
>get weirded out because she is getting her saliva all over my water
>indiscreetly put away the bottle without drinking from it
>she gives up on flirting entirely, goes silent and just walks
>finish the hike and get back to the start
>realize we are about to part ways and I haven't gotten my dick wet
>it's been years since the last time I've gotten laid and I'll be damned if I go home empty handed
>ask her if she would like to get food with me
>to replenish energy of course
>"look anon, you're nice and all but you missed your chance"
>ask what she means
>tell me that she has a thing for having sex in the woods, specifically near where people walk so she gets the thrill of possibly being caught
>"I don't feel like walking a mile back into the woods just to get you a second chance to fuck me, so goodbye"
>just think that if she was this blunt while we were walking we wouldn't have this issue
>it's my fault though, so I just turn around and walk away
>get home and my mother asks how it went
>tell her nobody was there so I just hiked by myself
>"don't lie to me anon, I know a girls woman's hair when I see one"
>pulls a hair off of my shoulder
>tell her the story
>she calls me an idiot and goes back to watching family feud
kek based retard
>Was this a murder scene?
Sounds like it. Nothing good happened and who knows was still near. Glad you made it out of there.
>, I'm comfortable as horsecunts in my own woods and nearby nature reserve at night 4 out of 5 times, but sometimes it's just not right at all.
I hear this. Who knows what moves around in the darkness?
Woah that’s cool. Katoombafag here, got the latlong? I wanna go check it out
Fucking hell anon. What did she look like? Prime /out/ material, or, by the sounds of it, crackhead-adjacent?
>working 4 months fixing a waterplant bridge
>i work days and fish every free time i get even the coffee breaks while living in tent and work trailer and cottages along the river
>eat mainly fish and my only work friend sometimes shoots us some bird for dinner
>one day local drunk shows up with a boat and starts fishing in the illegal area below the dam and gets pissed off because we saw him
>comes ashore and starts swinging his knife but is too drunk
>swears he will come back soon with a gun
>workmate calls the cops
>enjoy the rest of the /out/ summer in peace and quiet
>year later i have to go stand a witness to his trial
>year after that on the other side of the country run into few drunken idiots on a stream
>we sit and drink the evening away
>drunk men mention their friend who lost his guns because of some dam construction worker back at home and what they would do to him
>share last drinks and quickly fuck off into the night
>her whole car deconstructed (seats were unbolted and removed from the vehicle) and she was scrubbing the chassis
That is methhead behaviour.
Slightly above average looking if I'm being honest, maybe a 6 or a 7 on a good day. She had sun damaged skin from always being outside but other than that she was attractive enough to get the majority of guys

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