Some low power villain bullshit I'm doing to take my mind off things. Don't expect for this to last too long. I'll try to update at least once or twice per day.(You) are a low level super powered individual, Anon Hardwood, Male, working under the payroll of medium level crime boss TONY "TITANIUM TOMMYGUN" TORTELLINI.Pick a powerset.>Vile FamiliarYou have the very manifestation of your soul, and it's just as much of a bastard as you. It's a magical animal-type thing that you can summon at will. Whenever it dies it simply isn't able to be summoned for around half an hour. It's very loyal and affectionate, but tends to show it through love bites. You kind of get a power boost when it's close to you. It's not very strong though.(get a grunt-tier "evil" pokemon)>Acid Assault You have the ability to excrete a thick and slimy acid from your hands. Very deadly, and you're immune to it, as well as your clothes, thankfully. However, whenever you throw a punch, globs of it tend to go flying everywhere, and friendly fire is a real concern. Also, you're not any more durable than an average goon, so don't try to acid aikido your way into deflecting a bullet or somesuch.>NOSLEEPYou've got infinite stamina, meaning you operate at peak performance forever... physically. This power also removed your ability to sleep, and as a result, you're a bit... unstable now. Just try not to kill too many of your own men, alright? Also kids, that tends to attract the loonier supers, and Tony don't exactly approve of that either.Pick a Perk>Partners? More like Brothers.You and Tony go waaaay back, growing up in the shitty part of town. He'll trust you quite a bit more and loan you more goons for shit.>+1 PantsYou've got some nice swag that synergizes with your abilites.>Slippery fuckerYears of running away and barely avoiding getting your face caved in have made you very adept at both those things.Also pick your villain name>write inIt's a cold night as you're helping watch over a shipment of weapons coming in the harbor with a small 8 man team of goons, plus your negotiator, the only one fluent in russian. The small tugboat carrying the contraband pulling in. You watch over as the translator speaks in russian, passing money to the the runners. However, as the briefcases are being exchanged and the bills and weapons being counted, suddenly your walkietalkie springs to life and you hear a quick *THUMP* sound before it cuts off. You know the runners are skittish and greedy bastards, if shit goes south, they'll prioritize saving their own skins and demand extra on their next shipment, but they're usually greedy enough to wait until money has actually exchanged hands.>go check up on the lookout by yourself>take (up to 6) men with you to check up on the lookouts>send (up to 6) men to check up on the lookouts>try to hurry up the deal>write in
>>6056877>NOSLEEP>+1 Pants>Hardwood>go check up on the lookout by yourself
>>6056877>NOSLEEP>Partners? More like Brothers.>ELSWEYR>go check up on the lookout by yourself
>>6056882+1The idea of being constantly sleep deprived but never tired sounds like a cool concept
>>6056881>>6056882>>6056888>NOSLEEP>Partners? More like Brothers.>ELSWEYR>go check up on the lookout by yourselfYou grind your teeth as you signal to your men that you're going to make sure the lookouts are still breathing, or not slacking off and getting high or FUCKING SLEEPING. God, you're going to fucking grind their faces into the goddamn concerte and eat their eyeballs if they're just screwing around. You'd kill them if Tony didn't ask you to be easier on the mooks. The smugglers seem to give a brief pause as you leave, but continue their business.You continue storming towards the lookout point, polishing and readying up your weapons as you do, and sigh as you see that no, you don't get to take out your suffering on some incompetent goons, another fucking rat-bastard hero has popped up to fuck up your day.The fucker's been sat on a damn crate and posing too, what type of overdramatic shithead does that? He draws his blade as you approach, which appears to be his only weapon."Draw your gun, evildoer, and fall beneath my judgement. To engage me in melee would be the height of foolishness, and as a honorable swordsman, I must warn you of this."You see that one goon is lying faceflat on the ground, and judging from the amount of blood flowing out of him, as well as the several bullet holes, they're clearly an It now. As in they're dead. A corpse. Gone. and the other is presumably the one who radioed you, who is passed out and has a bullet wound in his shoulder and many in his legs. Shitheads the both of them.You, unlike the WEAK FUCKS before you, don't have to worry about carry weight nearly as much.As such, you're decked out in body armor including a very nice helmet, carrying a pump-action shotgun with a bayonet attached, two submachine guns, a revolver, plenty of ammo for all of em, and just to top it all off, two machetes and several knives.THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A NICE AND SIMPLE JOB, YOU ARE FUCKING PISSED. YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH UPSTART WANNABE SHITHEAD SAMURAI, THIS FUCKER'S GOTTEN IT MIXED UP TOO, HE'S CLEARLY DRESSED LIKE A NINJA, AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS, NINJA'S CODE OF HONOR ONLY APPLIES TO THOSE THEY SERVE! FUCKING HELL, YOU'RE GOING TO PASTE THIS FUCKER!What do?>"OKAY! SEE YOU IN HELL!" Pull out your submachine guns and blast the bastard into pieces>"FUCK YOU! YOU DON'T TELL WHAT ELSWEYR HAS TO DO!" Rush him with your machetes!>"HOW ABOUT BOTH?" Whip out your shotgun and fire a volley before rushing in to guy him with the bayonet.>write inNOTE: The author is a filthy leaf, and as such, knows fuck-all about firearms save from what he's seen from movies and shit. Also, this is a superhero setting, so please refrain from strangling me to death over firearm details unless I REALLY fuck up and it doesn't help make shit cooler.
>>6056895Hillarious that it is the inaccurate cosplay which grinds his gears.>Engage in melee with the machettes.>Kick a crate into the hero to break his stance or provide cover for your advance when he smashes itHes got some sort of reflective ability.
>>6056895>Kick dirt at him and quick draw revolvers by leaning back. Cowboys beat ninjas
>>6056895>"FUCK YOU! YOU DON'T TELL WHAT ELSWEYR HAS TO DO!" Rush him with your machetes!
>>6056895>"HOW ABOUT BOTH?" Whip out your shotgun and fire a volley before rushing in to guy him with the bayonet.
>>6056895>"OKAY! SEE YOU IN HELL!" Pull out your submachine guns and blast the bastard into piecesI trust him because he seems too stupid to lie
>>6056895>THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A NICE AND SIMPLE JOB, I'M FUCKING PISSED. I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH UPSTART WANNABE SHITHEAD SAMURAI, THIS FUCKER'S GOTTEN IT MIXED UP TOO, HE'S CLEARLY DRESSED LIKE A NINJA, AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS, NINJA'S CODE OF HONOR ONLY APPLIES TO THOSE THEY SERVE! FUCKING HELL!>Whip out your shotgun and fire a volley
>>6056895>"HOW ABOUT BOTH?" Whip out your shotgun and fire a volley before rushing in to guy him with the bayonet.Hit him with both at once, force him to play defense. If it comes to any kind of attrition, we win by default.
Shotgun Volley Vote wins with 3 votes, but the QM's a fucking idiot that's having problem with his puter, so you're gonna have to wait a bit for an update. Apologies.
>>6057946It's all good bro
"HOW ABOUT BOTH!?""Wha-"You whip out your shotgun and begin to charge at the wannabe samurai-ninja edgelord, preparing to gut him with your bayonet as you fire."EAT BUCKSHOT, BITCH!"*BLAM*However, the edgelord responds by screaming out some nonsense (probably in Japanese) "Meiyo no kabe!" as he draws his katana, a thin translucent grey wall appearing before him which seems to kill your bullet's momentum completely, stopping them in midair. However, as he prepares to yell again, the wall seems to weaken and sputter as you step closer, causing him to curse as he swings his blade to deflect your bayonet from piercing his stomach."Ugh!"He staggers at your strength, and clumsily parries your blade away as you fire another blast at point plank range, hoping to blow his STUPID FUCKING FACE OFF. He lets up a cocky smile while you growl at him and your spit flies everywhere. You don't let up (why would you!!?) and continue wildly stabbing and slashing at him, trying to blast him in the face while he's distracted blocking your bayonet.He's clearly far better than you, skill-wise with swordplay. Unfortunately, swordplay doesn't account for YOU, who never needs to do some pussy shit like "conserve schtamina" and who has a ""sword"" that makes you into tomato paste if you let the tip point at you for too long. This goes on for quite a while, his face going from cocky to confident to stoic to grim to outright panicked as you feel his WEAK SLEEPY ARMS slack and his defenses get that much SLOW AND SHIT."FEELING TIRED, SHITHEAD!?""Y-you will not prevail! My sword of justic-""DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF RHETORICAL QUESTION YOU FUCKING WEEABOO SHITLORD!??!"Wat do?>Don't do SOMETHING STUPID, Keep at it, wear him down and finish the damn job!>Offer "Mercy," as in you'll only torture him for info instead of for info and fun if he surrenders right the fuck now.>TAKING TOO LONG! NEXT CHANCE YOU GET, WHIP OUT ANOTHER GUN AND BLOW HIM TO BITS!>Write in
>>6058288>Don't do SOMETHING STUPID, Keep at it, wear him down and finish the damn job!Elsweyr is crazy but he finishes the damn job.
>>6058288>Just keep at it.>DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA, SHITBIRD, OF HOW MUCH FUCKING ANNOYANCE YOU ARE CAUSING ME? YOU DON'T EVEN SPEAK PROPER NIPPON, GAW FUKIN DAYMNED IT, ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A NINJA OR A SAMURAI OR A FUCKIN' SENTAI?! PICK A LANE YOU INDECISIVE FUCK!I will continue to rag on a man for having no cohesive thermatic throughline in his costume.
>>6058288>TAKING TOO LONG! NEXT CHANCE YOU GET, WHIP OUT ANOTHER GUN AND BLOW HIM TO BITS!pew pewguns > swords
>>6058349+1 keeping at it is our strength, lol. I think it's funny too.
>>6058288>TAKING TOO LONG! NEXT CHANCE YOU GET, WHIP OUT ANOTHER GUN AND BLOW HIM TO BITS!I am afraid of another hero interruption or he pulling some power from his ass
>>6058349Our boy might be a sleepless nutter, but he appreciates a consistent and sensible "brand". If you're gonna do something you do it RIGHT. Because goddammit these pricks are able to sleep and refresh they better use that time to dream up cool ideas.
>>6058349I'll back this. We need to psyche him out.
>>6058288>>Don't do SOMETHING STUPID, Keep at it, wear him down and finish the damn job!
Winning Vote is Keep at it+insults."DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA, SHITBIRD, OF HOW MUCH FUCKING ANNOYANCE YOU ARE CAUSING ME? YOU DON'T EVEN SPEAK PROPER NIPPON, GAW FUKIN DAYMNED IT, ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A NINJA OR A SAMURAI OR A FUCKIN' SENTAI?! PICK A LANE YOU INDECISIVE FUCK!""What the hell are you talking about you foul criminal!?"The battle continues, you keeping the pressure on, slowly chipping away at his defenses and delighting in the torment you're putting him through, though you're a bit PISSED that you have to whittle him down even when doing your best. You half-expect some more weeabo fightin' magic, but either he's a one-trick pony or can't do it while ELSWEYR is kicking his ass. Finally, he slips up for the final time, you slamming his katana out of his hands, and firing off a shotgun blast point-blank into his stomach.*AAAAAGGGHHH!*He get launched back a meter or two. Damn, the fucker had a good best on, keyword is had, because it's shredded to shit from you firing at it, but he's not dead, just... twitching and moaning. You check up on the shithead lookouts, and it appears that the remaining goon woke up sometime during your fight and has been desperately trying to patch himself up with the medical supplies he had on him. He's not doing that good of a job of it.He notices you looking at him, and launches into PATHETIC SNIVELING."E-els!"God fucking damnit, you hate that fucking nickname. At least the shitheads stopping trying to suggest "better" names once you strangled a few of them to sleep. Actual sleep, not dead-sleep. Except for that one guy, but he was an asshole that no one liked."I-I swear we weren't slackin or nothin', guy just stepped out, said some bullcrap, and we'z just shot at im thinkin' we could catch 'im off guard! ...Please at least wait until I get patched up to break my face?"Ugh.You look back at the wannabe hero writhing on the ground. Judging by his act and the fact that no one came to back him up, he's either working on his lonesome or with a very shit team. Killing him might still be an issue though, Heros dont' give two shits if fifty wiseguys all strangle each other to death, but one of them gets their knee scraped and the hammer's coming down. At least the big cheese hero is a honorable type in this city. WHAT A FUCKING SUCKER. ...This fuckheads definitely the type to start some rivalry nemesis BS if you let him go though. Capturing him might also work? Maybe ransom, maybe a recruit if things go well? ...Actually, you'd probably feel even more like blowing your head off than usual if you had to work with him day to day.1/2
>"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?" Execute the hero before taking the goon with you to finish the deal>"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?" Hogtie the hero as a captive before taking the goon with you to finish up the deal.>"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?" Take some time to kick the shit out of the hero as well as insult the shit out of him and let him deal with his own mess before goon retrival+deal completion>"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?" Reluctantly go chuck him onto some main street to ensure some poor bastard will shit their pants and call an ambulance before goon retrieval+deal completion. Still gonna roast him, though.>write in2/2
>>6058795>"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?" Hogtie the hero as a captive before taking the goon with you to finish up the deal.Tony's gonna LOVE this!
>>6058795>"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?" Hogtie the hero as a captive before taking the goon with you to finish up the deal.Can we take his gay sword too? We can put it up on our wall as a trophy or something.
>>6058795>"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?" Hogtie the hero as a captive before taking the goon with you to finish up the deal.
>>6058795>"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?" Hogtie the hero as a captive before taking the goon with you to finish up the deal.We don't want THE HAMMER to come down
>>6058288>Don't do SOMETHING STUPID, Keep at it, wear him down and finish the damn job!
"Could you so kindly WAIT FIVE SHITTING SECONDS WHILE I FINISH UP!?"Fuckers can't wait for five seconds while you had to wait for 3 years of forced "sleeping" before you and tony killed those hags of nuns by kickin them down all those stairs! You rifle around on the dead goon's body for his medical supplies, grabbing a roll of bandages and some medical alcohol. You approach the hero groaning on the pain on the ground who is... fuckin' hell, he's crying... WEAK SHIT. The last time you thought YOU were going to die, you were just PISSED that it was happening!!!"GOOD NEWS YOU CONFUSED NINJA-SENTAI-SAMURAI-OTAKU-WEABOO, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BLEED OUT BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING KIDNAPPED!"He lets out a cry of protest, but it swaps to screaming as you just kinda... wing it on his medical treatment and splash the alcohol everywhere. You heal faster than most people cause of the whole "full energy" thing, so you never learned how to do it properly. In fact... the bitch passes out."Well at least this way he'll shut the fuck up...""Alright, you grab the other guy's corpse, let's go check if the fucking greedy bastards decided it was a good day to make me kill em by stiffing us.""...I kinda feel bad I didn't even learn his name...""Yeah, well, he's dead, so if you wanna get vengeance, feel free to kick this guy in the balls."Fortunately, (for them, at least, you were kinda building up to a murdertrain for a bit there) they have not, and you get the weapons without much incident. You pile into your cars, and drive off to the hideout. The lookout goon drags himself and the corpse to go see a doctor, the other goons take care of taking the weapons to the armory, and you drag the hero to meet tony.He's at the firing range, and you catch him trying to whittle down a rock into nothing with dust with his gun again. Tony's power, like yours, is rather simple. Any Tommygun he's shooting gets infinite ammo and firing capacity. No overheating, no realoadin', no nothin.1/2
He stops firing as you approach."Nonny, my old pal! What's that you got there?"You explain to him the gist of what happened at the docks."Great job on not lettin' him fuck up the deal, Anon, real good news on that front. I'm... pretty sure this is a total newbie though, don't recall seeing him around at all or ona da big cheeses annoucin' a new hanger-on or nuthin. Still, good work on capturin' him. If ya feel up for it tonight, I'll put you in charge of putting the screws on him and such, not like you needta take a nap or nothin', right? That bed of yours probably feels like one of them horny housewives you sees on Tv and somesuch, heh. I can get our boys to do it if you don't wanna though. One of our Rats has been talkin' about a big opportunity that I haven't been able to check up on. Also, apparently some other new gang's been beefing with our boys and they sent over some asshole to "negotiate," somethin' about some of our mooks messing up one of their establishments."You'd kill anyone else if they made that horny bed joke, but it's Tony, so it's cool. ...Actually, no, you'd probably be too confused about it to be mad."Course, you just came off a job, so you can always just go grab some grub and... cool off for a bit."Wat do?>IN-TERROR-GATION TIME!>Go check up on the Rat's "big opportunity">Go resolve gang politics bullshit>Go eat something and chill out>write in
>>6059693>Go resolve gang politics bullshitWe’d probably just kill the fucker in an interrogation. Let’s do what we’re best at and bust some heads.
>>6059693>Deal with gang politics.Its a lot of fun when the job is "be the less appealing option to turn to"
>>6059690>tfw our guys metabolic rate is unaffected by outside factors on a cellular levelNeat. I wonder if he's biologically immortal. If he is, well pic rel kek
>>6059693>>Go eat something and chill out
>>6059693>make sure injures guy is okay and remind him we owe him a smoking at a time of our choosingthen>gang shit gang shit
>>6059693>Go resolve gang politics bullshitI don't think we can interrogate too well.
>>6059693>Go check up on the Rat's "big opportunity"Uh, the gang politics thing is a negotiator, do we seem like we'd be good at negotiating?
>>6060034Big stick diplomacy my friend.
Gang politics bullshit won, writing.Fuck no, you're not gonna go "chill out" you've got a MURDERTRAIN goin'! You'll either get to bust some other gang's heads or get to knock around the stupider goons in yours! Wonderful!"I'll go "talk" to the asshole Tony, don't you worry about that, heh." He flashes his cocky grin as he takes another puff on his cigar."Alright, nice, just, uh, make sure to at least hear em out a lil' before deciding to smash in their face, no point in protecting shithead men more trouble than they're worth."You make your way outside and walk a few block away to where the representative is, currently arguing with a small swarm of your goons. no gang member with half a brain would go into someone else's homebase, and no gangboss with half a brain would actually tell anyone where their base was. Well, the small fry at least, you heard some guy down in Pawnville has literally set up a thing where the police get one free go at his base each year.Anyways, the shithead that's not yours! ...God fucking dammit, it's a furry! Well, technically, you think this type is called a catboy, but you get the idea. More importantly, he's another guy with powers. Probably just some generical stat buffs and shit, but you never know. You've only got three guys in your organization that's got em, and the third guy that's not you and Tony can't fight for shit.He turns to you and flinches for a moment as he sees your face, (Your eyebags are long enough to reach your nose now)"Ah! you meowust be the negotiaterrrr!"...If he's doing that shit on purpose you're blowing his stupid face off and nailing his ears to the walls."*Ahem!* Sorry about that, slip of the tongue. My name is Nines, and I'm here to collect on behalf of my gang after your men saw fit to ruin one of our establishments."A voice pipes up from the swarm."A-and I told *You,* it wasn't me that fucking swang first! It was the other shithead!""Yes, and you were the one who decided to respond by picking up a stool and throw it, injuring one of our dancers and calling for your friends to jump him, igniting a brawl which injured even more employees. We merely seek a formal apology, as well as compensation for the damages.""The fuckhead spent like half an hour needlin' me and then threw that wimpy punch after I told him to fuck off a little more colorfully than usual! Your bouncers suck shit!"UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! THIS SHIT'S BORING!Wat do>"HOW MUCH FUCKING CASH, IDIOT!? MENTION THAT FIRST!">"SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M THE NEGOTIATOR, STOP MAKING THINGS WORSE!">"Okay, y'know what, let's just settle this nice and quick" *Blow the head off of the goon that caused this mess* (Establish dominance, Tony might be upset)>"Can't you just fucking carve up the other guy and sell his organs instead of botherin' us?">"Who the hell are we EVEN PAYING TO!? YOUR ASS???? Gimmie the name of your family or syndacite or whatever the fuck we're callin' these things now!">write in
>>6060090>"Who the hell are we EVEN PAYING TO!? YOUR ASS???? Gimmie the name of your family or syndacite or whatever the fuck we're callin' these things now!">"Can't you just fucking carve up the other guy and sell his organs instead of botherin' us?"Sounds like they can't even defend their establishments. The guys who caused trouble should be dead or almost as soon as they threw the punch. Not our problem.
>>6060094Yeah I agree with this. This fatcat ain't got shit on our brother from another mother Tony.
>>6060125This is >>6059889, by the way. No samefagging here.
>>6060090>"Who the hell are we EVEN PAYING TO!? YOUR ASS???? Gimmie the name of your family or syndacite or whatever the fuck we're callin' these things now!"
>>6060090>(Your eyebags are long enough to reach your nose now)Damn you'd think our power would take care of that>"Who the hell are we EVEN PAYING TO!? YOUR ASS???? Gimmie the name of your family or syndacite or whatever the fuck we're callin' these things now!"Are they even in a position to make demands of us?
GOD FUCKING DAMMNIT, YOU HATE THIS BULLSHIT, COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST GOTTEN AN ASSHOLE TRYING TO START SHIT RATHER THAN ONE OF THESE TALKY-TYPES!?You pick up a nearby trashcan and chuck it at a wall, denting the thing and causing the fuckup goons to shut the hell up. You resist the urge to stab someone as you attempt reasonable negotiation with "Nines.""Who the hell are we EVEN PAYING TO!? YOUR ASS???? Gimmie the name of your family or syndacite or whatever the fuck we're callin' these things now!"Keyword being attempt.Nines seems to be taken aback by your instability, and clears his throat before continuing."*Ahem!* Yes, yes, I should have mentioned that earlier, I am in the employ of the Pig Brothers, I'm sure you've heard of them."He lifts up his hand, showing off a literal golden pig-ring on his middle finger. ...You've heard of 'em, no real contact with Tony's Boys before this. Ran by two, well, brothers, both of em have powers, one's a bruiser, and you're not quite sure about the other guy. Mostly involved with drugs, sex, and establishments that combine the two. You... think they treat their whores better than most? At the least, they cared enough to kill one of their shitter pimps. Bigger and older than you guys....wait, is this fuckhead wearing a ring over gloves!?"Can't you just fucking carve up the other guy and sell his organs instead of botherin' us?"Nines pauses, unsure how to respond."We... we have also already taken the other party and extracted as much value as we could out of him. ...We do not have the... means to employ... such methods...""Just hurry the FUCK up and tell me how much you want us to cough up first, alright?"(Because the QM is a shitter no exact prices will be used)Nines lists... a fairly substantial amount of money. It's in that stupid fucking range where it's within what Tony would typically okay just tossin' some cash if it'll stop a shitfest from happening, but it's on the very tippity of the range. At the very least, it means that the deal you did earlier really only breaks you even. It sounds fair-ish if the place is totaled and a few people were hurt, but you're not sure how true that- MY FUCKING GOD CAN WE JUST SHOOT HIM!? YOU WANTED TO BUST UP HEADS, NOT MAKE CHITCHAT WITH A FURRY!Wat do>"How about we arrange a time for you take the fuckin' cash and you fuck off for now while I knock some sense into my goons?">"TONY has facilities for choppin' up chumps, give us the guy and we'll use his FLESHBITS to pay off the cash. Can we wrap this shit up already?">Lean in and whisper "You willin' to knock down the price a bit if some of it's paid in blood if y'know what I mean? ...I'm gonna blow out the stool chuckin' idiot's brains, that's what I mean.">"If what my guy says is true, it sounds like it's your own fault for not weeding out assholes out of your little club... No deal.">"Sigh, would it be alright if we discussed this at a later date, the amount is... much...">write in
>>6060332>"TONY has facilities for choppin' up chumps, give us the guy and we'll use his FLESHBITS to pay off the cash. Can we wrap this shit up already?"If no tell him to go pound sand, we ain't paying, it's this or nothing
>>6060332>Support>>6060349We can help fix up somebodies organs to market value. We can do it ourselves!>BECAUSE BUTCHERY IS AN ARTFORM, YOU SHE-BORN BASTARD, AND ONE I WILL HAPPILY DEMONSTRATE IN PERSON. SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN HOW FUCKING BACON GETS MADE ITS NOT THAT HARD, SPECIALISTS AINT THAT DIFFICULT TO FIND EITHER WITH THE SKILLSET JUST THE NERVE!tempting to beat the boys senseless for causing us issues.
>>6060332>"TONY has facilities for choppin' up chumps, give us the guy and we'll use his FLESHBITS to pay off the cash. Can we wrap this shit up already?"
>>6060332>"TONY has facilities for choppin' up chumps, give us the guy and we'll use his FLESHBITS to pay off the cash. Can we wrap this shit up already?"We don't want to pay these mobsters shit
"TONY has facilities for choppin' up chumps, give us the guy and we'll use his FLESHBITS to pay off the cash. Can we wrap this shit up already?"GOD-DAMN, THIS SUCKS! FUCKING HELL, YOU'RE HALF HOPING THE BASTARD'LL SAY NO SO THAT YOU CAN SHOOT HIS BLOCK OFF!"...That can... easily be arranged, we found that the other party has repeatedly caused incidents like this at other establishments not owned by us, we doubt anyone will miss him. We were going to dispose of him soon anyway.""...If it's not too forward of me, how did you acquire the facilities for undergoing... such... operations... It seems like a difficult procedure..."The slick bastard is clearly fucking squeamish whenever he brings up the topic, so you decide to FUCK with his head a little. Just a little. Plus, you don't wanna spill the beans about Bodybag.Your face goes into a manic grin and you begin twitching and scratching at your face and begin screaming at the top of your lungs."BECAUSE BUTCHERY IS AN ARTFORM, YOU SHE-BORN BASTARD, AND ONE I WILL HAPPILY DEMONSTRATE IN PERSON. SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN HOW FUCKING BACON GETS MADE ITS NOT THAT HARD, SPECIALISTS AINT THAT DIFFICULT TO FIND EITHER WITH THE SKILLSET JUST THE NERVE!"His face rapidly pales as you continue to rant."EVERY SINGLE BUTCHER IS OUT THERE IS LYING THEIR ASS OFF WHEN THEY SAY THEY'VE NEVER WANTED TO WORK ON A HUMAN BEFORE!""Erm, well, uh, yes, very... informative... we will arrange a drop-off point later... this week... don't worry about... providing proof... the main point of contention is the money."He awkwardly extends his hand to shake it, which of course, you PUMP as hard as you can without making it seem like you're trying to hurt him. Which is very.Nines is just blatantly trying to get the fuck out of the conversation at this point."Well, I must thank you again for handling this with such grace, and I must be going by now. Dropoff should be within the next three... no, four days at the latest."He takes out his phone and mashes a number in, poorly concealing his panic, though he cools down as he speaks to the man on the other end."Deals done, come pick me up."The next part comes in a whisper"(hurry, I'm pretty sure the guy they sent is a cannibal...)"Wat do?>Continue to establish dominance by beating the fuck out of the fool who somehow managed to miss with a stool. How do you miss with a stool!?>wait until Nines leaves, grill the goons on if they were telling the truth, then decide if you want to beat the shit out of them.>Just head back to base to do something elseNo write ins sorryAlso, is Nines right?>No, but it's not as if you're some pansy about the idea either.>Technically, it's just meat you ate once in a bad situation. >A sweet, rare treat. Like pork, but with a natural salitness to it and some other flavorings depending on the diet of the person in question. It's not like you'll carve apart someone just for a slice, but if it's there...No write ins sorry
>>6060505>Continue to establish dominance by beating the fuck out of the fool who somehow managed to miss with a stool. How do you miss with a stool!?>Technically, it's just meat you ate once in a bad situation.
>>6060505>wait until Nines leaves, grill the goons on if they were telling the truth, then decide if you want to beat the shit out of them.>No, but it's not as if you're some pansy about the idea either.
>>6060505>Beat the fuck out of the guy who missed with a stool.Don't you EVER need me to get involved with your shit again.>No, but it's not like you're pansy about the idea.sometimes you gotta bite an ear off. It might get swallowed, but who cares
>>6060505>Continue to establish dominance by beating the fuck out of the fool who somehow managed to miss with a stool. How do you miss with a stool!?Such a failure is inexcusable. It's also minor, so let's try not to break any bones or put his eye out.>No, but it's not as if you're some pansy about the idea either.The vigilante hero-types are already bad enough. Don't need them riding up our ass just because we live a little. It's >>6060475 again.
>>6060505>wait until Nines leaves, grill the goons on if they were telling the truth, then decide if you want to beat the shit out of them.>wait until Nines leaves, grill the goons on if they were telling the truth, then decide if you want to beat the shit out of them.lemme get this straight we're going to chop up one of our guys or one of their guys for this? if it's one of our guys no bueno
>>6060647aw hell the second line was supposed to be >No, but it's not as if you're some pansy about the idea either.
>>6060505>Continue to establish dominance by beating the fuck out of the fool who somehow managed to miss with a stool. How do you miss with a stool!?>No, but it's not as if you're some pansy about the idea either.
Well, it's not like you're going to be the asshole shithead gilligan that dumps the "Exotic Pork" into the ocean if you're on a deserted island out of some fucking moral objection or whatever, but you aren't a cannibal. Still, you aren't telling this guy, any advantage you have over him is a fucking blessing.However, you aren't quite done with the group of goons quite yet..."YOU! YOU, SHITHEAD, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!"You jab your finger at the Goon who said that he was the one to throw the stool, and the rest of the crowd hastily parts, the poor widdle goon sweating and shaking. TOUGH SHIT, NUMBNUTS! SHOULDN'T HAVE FUCKED UP!"STAND THE FUCK OVER THERE! GET OVER TO THAT WALL RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!"He swallows and steps over to it. You take a deep breath, calming yourself as much as possible... Before sprinting to the trash can you threw earlier, sprinting a good distance away, and then hurling it at the stool-thrower as hard you can, bowling him over as he yelps in pain."LOOK AT THAT! LOOK AT THAT! I'M GONNA BET MY LEFT FUCKING NUT THAT I WAS AT LEAST SEVEN TIMES FARTHER AWAY THAN YOU WHEN YOU THREW THAT STOOL, AND I HIT YOU! I BET THAT TRASH CAN WAS SMALLER TOO! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MISS YOU IDIOT!?"You stomp up to him and grab his hair while he's stammering out some bullshit, and then knee him in the stomach. He keels over, and you kick him a few times in the back. You hold back enough that you're not going to break anything, but it'll hurt. "YOU'RE COSTING TONY A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY SHITHEAD! THE NEXT TIME YOU FUCK UP LIKE THIS I'M GOING TO CHUCK YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS INTO A CAGE FULL OF STARVING BABOONS!!! BE FUCKING GRATEFUL I DIDN'T WANNA BREAK ANYTHING, UNDERSTOOD!?"He whimpers out some more bullshit, but you don't care enough to listen to it. After all, if that piss-poor story was the one he was telling to the guy deciding how much money he wanted, he surely fucked up even worse than he was letting on. You look over to Nines, who is visibly sweating, and decide to give him a "professional" grin and thumbs up. He attempts to keep his composure, but you see him pale.Well, that's enough, probably. Roughed up enough to send a message to both the goon and Nines. You start making your way back to the hideout as you send a text to Tony about the arrangement, which he seems pleased that you've managed not to start a gang war or fork over any cash. As you arrive, it's distinctly winding down in activity. No rest for the wicked really only applies to you. You can probably follow up on one more thing before shit dies down and you're left to wait and either patrol or train until people stop snoozing.Wat do?>check up on our captive>see what opportunity the Rat was talking about>Go get some extra training instead>write in>>6060647You're chopping up the guy that started the fight with your goon.
>>6061589>see what opportunity the Rat was talking aboutDo we need to eat? I know we need to sleep. Are our powers only nosleep and can max stamina all the time?
>>6061589>see what opportunity the Rat was talking aboutWe've got to keep on top of things. We're going 100%, 24/7, 365. Nobody that ain't some kind of freak can compete.
>>6061589>Go get some extra training instead
>>6061633...You don't need to, and actually CAN'T sleep, my guy. That's like, the main drawback of the power. You just really want to.As for food, I'll just say it works more or less the same except you actually can eat. You technically can just not eat for the rest of your life and for your life to be longer than a few days, but you'll be fucking hungry the whole time. Anon/Elsweyr would go even more fucking insane if they seriously tried.
>>6061589>see what opportunity the Rat was talking about
Well, no point in having people snoop around and find some prime MEAT, just to never follow up on it all. After asking around for a bit, you finally find the snitch hanging around in the cafeteria. It's Kenneth. A weedy little man with a mustache that looks like a caterpillar took a DUMP on his face. He loves it though, you HATE the damn thing so much you actually skipped straight past making fun of him for it to earnestly laying out why it's a FUCKING BLASPHEMY TO THE VERY CONCEPT OF FACIAL HAIR ITSELF AND WHY HE SHOULD SHAVE IT THE FUCK OFF! HE REFUSES, THE BLASPHEMY CONTINUES! Works for some shady military company that he tattles on because he thinks he isn't paid or appreciated enough."Ah... Elsweyr! I was beginning to think I'd have to head home empty handed! How's business been?""I had to BEAT some SENSE into a fucker who missed with a STOOL! HOW D'YOU MISS WITH A STOOL!?""...Errr... Not good, I take it.""Anyways, chap, I've got some good news! Our company's products have been going to shit lately!""...How exactly is that good news for either of us!? Hurry up!""Well now, defective products have to be disposed of, don't they? We've got a few convoys going through this city to throw those pieces of junk away! And you can raid them for all they're worth! Even if you're not strictly interested in the products, I'm sure an armored truck or two is a welcome addition!""...How defective are we talking here?!? No point in stealing a fucking truck if we gotta abandon it cause it's full of FUCKING URANIUM!"This fucking prick talks like he's in a damn infomercial all the time! FUCK!"Well- that's the rub, I don't quite understand myself why the three were disposed of. But I DO know what they were meant to be!"You impatiently gesture for him to finally get to the point and name them."There's... Also a small catch, I was the one who suggested we route the convoys through here! So, I can't have you attacking more than, oh, let's say, one of them unless you want to harm my reputation at work, and so as not to tempt you, I'll only tell you about one of them!""To make it quick, here are the teasers! There was a few sets of power armor, a mercenary that agreed to some experiments, and some variant of the compound they used on her. Of course, there is a "special deal" I'm offering, if you're interested, where I tell you about all three, in exchange for a mutually beneficial favor! Wanna hear about it?"Wat do?>Power Armor>Mercenary>Compound>Let's hear about this Special dealNo write ins this time.
>>6061738>CompoundI imagine our body is more resistant to compounds than most. So even if it has some shitty side-effects we could probably make it shake.
Hey wait I fucked things up disregard the previous update please while I rewrite the ending cause I realized it doesn't make sense.
>>6061633>I know we need to sleep. Are our powers only nosleep???
Well, no point in having people snoop around and find some prime MEAT, just to never follow up on it all. After asking around for a bit, you finally find the snitch hanging around in the cafeteria. It's Kenneth. A weedy little man with a mustache that looks like a caterpillar took a DUMP on his face. He loves it though, you HATE the damn thing so much you actually skipped straight past making fun of him for it to earnestly laying out why it's a FUCKING BLASPHEMY TO THE VERY CONCEPT OF FACIAL HAIR ITSELF AND WHY HE SHOULD SHAVE IT THE FUCK OFF! HE REFUSES, THE BLASPHEMY CONTINUES! Works for some shady military company that he tattles on because he thinks he isn't paid or appreciated enough."Ah... Elsweyr! I was beginning to think I'd have to head home empty handed! How's business been?""I had to BEAT some SENSE into a fucker who missed with a STOOL! HOW D'YOU MISS WITH A STOOL!?""...Errr... Not good, I take it.""Anyways, chap, I've got some good news! Our company's products have been going to shit lately!""...How exactly is that good news for either of us!? Hurry up!""Well now, defective products have to be disposed of, don't they? We've got a few convoys going through this city to throw those pieces of junk away! And you can raid them for all they're worth! Even if you're not strictly interested in the products, I'm sure an armored truck or two is a welcome addition!""...How defective are we talking here?!? No point in stealing a fucking truck if we gotta abandon it cause it's full of FUCKING URANIUM!"This fucking prick talks like he's in a damn infomercial all the time! FUCK!"Well- that's the rub, I don't quite EXACTLY understand myself why the three were disposed of. But I DO know the general details, what they were meant to be, and at the very least, it shouldn't be that bad!"You impatiently gesture for him to finally get to the point and name them."There's... Also a small catch, I was the one who suggested we route the convoys through here! So, I can't have you attacking more than, oh, let's say, one of them unless you want to harm my reputation at work, and so as not to tempt you, I'll only tell you about one of them! They head through at roughly the same time, too, so you'd be splitting your forces anyways.""To make it quick, here are the teasers! There was quite a few sets of power armor, a mercenary that agreed to some experiments, and some more refined variant of the compound they used on her. Of course, there is a "special deal" I'm offering, if you're interested, where I tell you about all three and help you get them in exchange for a mutually beneficial favor! Wanna hear about it?"...You'd tell me anyway even if I said no, you caterpillar shit mustache man."1/2
"So, to make it short, I tell the company that having em all clumped up is much safer, and then in exchange for a harder fight, Tony's Boys gets three times the payout! However, you gotta at least leave like, a few survivors, and can't take all three trucks either. Also, within a few days, you're gonna have to hustle, double time, to help a few other gangs in some other cities smash some convoys that aren't clumped up and take em for all they're worth, so in comparison, the clumped up one that I suggested looks much better! Don't worry about lookin' like a bitch in front of the other gangs or givin' em some superweapon either, I vetted em, real submissive types and real standard stuff in the trucks, if anything, the problem'll be them wantin' to join up, which might not even be a problem for ya! Buildn' cred, or whatever you call it!"That sounds... alright. Tony's fine with the idea with workin' with other gangs so long as they ain't taking advantage or nothing, though the rushed raids might be a bit risky... BUT YOU'LL GET TO SMASH PLENTY OF FACES IN, FROM THE SOUND OF IT'S!Wat do?>Power Armor>Mercenary>Compound>Special DealNo write ins this time
>>6061758>Special deal.I mean, perfect shot to recruit someone then immediately turn around on em.Big waves son
>>6061758>Compound
>>6061758>Special Deal
>>6061686>>6061751I'm retarded, that was supposed to be "do we need to eat." >>6061758>CompoundYou know what's better than one superpower? TWO superpowers!
>>6061758>CompoundAnother superpower? Hell the fuck yes.
Fucking hell I'm a moron, more clarification, you can take all three products if you take the deal, but not the literal trucks. Posting from outside the house so my signature thing is different.
>>6061758>>Compound
Compound won, writing.
"Tell me about the super serum or whatever the fuck, you said it was the refined version, yes?"Kenneth grins and nods, and begins pulling out some folders and jabbing at them. You don't understand shit and just listen to the guy ramble."Well, the serum was going for some pretty standard things you look for. Y'know, wound-healing, physical improvements like strength and durability, and some enhanced senses. After the catastrophic failure of the first round of serum on the mercenary, they spent a long while trying to make it better, but uh, they didn't fix it up too much.""Apparently, first off, in terms of power gains to cost of making the serum, at least in "we're going to make a shitload to sell it to whoever the fuck asks," only the regeneration was really worth it, but you're not exactly planning to make it, are ya? Of course, there was all those side effects!""Like..!?""Well, remember, your Ol' pal Kenneth isn't exactly all seeing, so no promises this isn't all of them, but the main two things that really got them in a tizzy were the physical deformations and the "fixed mental degradation." ""The FUCK is that?""Well, apparently, rather than driving someone mad like you'd it expect it to, it "snaps" them to a certain level of... err... derangement instead. Apparently it also turned your skin grey and disfigured your face. Also, something about "heavy survivable backlash" when taking it, I'd recommend having a medic or two on hand."He pauses for a moment."There's no real good way to say this, but I honestly can't imagine you taking it would affect you too much, mentally at least- as despite your... moments, you seem... decently well controlled. However, I can confidently say Tony taking it would be a bad idea, unless you were secretly running the orginization the entire time or there's secretly been some secret third person directing and planning everything. ...perhaps a superintelligent shiba inu?" He chuckles at his shitty joke. shithead.Nah, Tony's been the brains, and you're the guy who PULPS IDIOTS, that's the way it's always been.He starts handing over the details of when and where the trucks will be, and all that before he pauses you and flashes you what he probably thinks is a charming grin. You think it makes him look like that stupid fucking deformed triangle head that was all the rage back in 2012 or sometime like that."Now, are you sure you don't want to take the special deal before I need to leave? It's a mere 5 raids on 5 armored trucks in total you'll have to back up!"(I hope I'm not coming across as trying to railroad for Special Deal, I'm just trying to write Kenny as a real pushy infomercial used car salesman type.)1/2
Wat do>"Nah, fuck off, and see you next time, hopefully with a mustache that isn't BLASPHEMY">HAGGLE! "Tell me about all three things, not the locations, and I'll decide if they're worth the trouble." roll 1d100, Bo3, Very High DC>"...If the other two are total garbage, I'm gonna pound your face in. I'm in.">"...You're not gonna fucking sell the info on the other two things to other people if we don't take the fucking deal, right?">write in
>>6062243>Maybe strength, maybe durability, maybe regen, maybe enhanced sensesGive me durability or give me death. There was an incredible one-shot with a super durable character two years back or so>>6062244>HAGGLE! "Tell me about all three things, not the locations, and I'll decide if they're worth the trouble." roll 1d100, Bo3, Very High DCThis could be funny
>>6062244>"Nah, fuck off, and see you next time, hopefully with a mustache that isn't BLASPHEMY"We don't need to fuck around with a huge raid on such short notice. Honestly I'm down with us getting deformed, just makes us scarier.
>>6062244>"...If the other two are total garbage, I'm gonna pound your face in. I'm in."whoo
>>6062246I know which one you are talking about anonhttps://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2022/5232674/Honestly one of my favorites
>>6062347Kino
>>6062243>HAGGLE! "Tell me about all three things, not the locations, and I'll decide if they're worth the trouble." roll 1d100, Bo3, Very High DC>ask if it tightens up eyebags or if it makes a man sterile because we want our balls to work and how heavy the disfigurement so long as we can talk, eat and see we are fine with it
>>6062244We ball>"...If the other two are total garbage, I'm gonna pound your face in. I'm in."
Rolled 78, 84, 98 = 260 (3d100)If it's still tied when I get back home tomorrow I'll just flip a coin. Also, I'm testing if trying to roll still messes up my computer.
Rolled 2 (1d2)Man, I'm fucking exhausted, no update today
Rolled 8, 78, 66 = 152 (3d100)2 was HAGGLE! Let's see if you can HAGGLE!
Oof, no pass, writing, but internet is fucked so it might take a while
No way in hell you're risking YOUR neck over other things you don't know about. "Tell me about all three things, not the locations, and I'll decide if they're worth the trouble for the full package."Kenneth pauses for a moment and sighs."You do like to drive a hard bargain, don't you? I suppose that's why you're the one in charge of meeting individuals such as myself though!"(DC was 80, you got close enough I felt a partial success was reasonable.)"Well, I suppose telling you the details of another is reasonable, all things considered."He flips a coin. Heads."The Mercenary then! Ah, she's quite interesting! The serum was, as I stated again, a catastrophic failure. Mercenary was nothing special, which is why the department chose her. Totally forgettable, though not after the serum.""In short, the regenerative properties of that version of the serum was far more intense than expected, allowing her to survive many, many things. She also gained "unintended secondary powers" though I'm not quite what that entailed, something about extra mouths? Can't make blasted heads or tails of it. Also, again, heavy disfigurement, even worse than the later versions. She wasn't quite too happy with the results, and became extremely uncooperative. Pair that with a sudden shift in how uncontrollable she found those powers, the company wrote her and that iteration of the serum off as a failure, and are shipping her off to a disposal facility."Kenneth flashes a sleazy grin."A little lady marked for death, officially dead, history of violence, and with super powers? Sounds like a perfect recruit if you ask me.""Didn't you say the SERUM drove people batshit? Did that happen to HER?""Not sure, I guess that it becomes quite difficult to tell if the woman screaming for your blood is insane if she has a perfectly logical reason to do so.""The serum, the OTHER ONE, not the one the chick took, it tighten up these things?"You tap your horrible black eyebags."Is it gonna fucking make my balls black and moldy? So long as my balls work, and I can talk, eat, and see, and I can FIGHT, it's fine with me.""Yes, it shouldn't affect you adversely in those areas, though I do have no clue about the eyebags. I'd wager no, frankly. Well, Elsweyr, are you in for the deal or not?"Wat do>"Fine you SLEAZEBAG, Tell me about the armor while we finish the FUCK up.">"No deal, see you next time, BASTARD."
>>6064648>Go for it!
>>6064648>"Fine you SLEAZEBAG, Tell me about the armor while we finish the FUCK up."
>>6064648>"Fine you SLEAZEBAG, Tell me about the armor while we finish the FUCK up.">hmmmm extra mouths would neat i could eat chips and drink at the sametime without them becoming soggy
>>6064648>"Fine you SLEAZEBAG, Tell me about the armor while we finish the FUCK up."We'll find an eyebag cure someday :')
"Fine you SLEAZEBAG, Tell me about the armor while we finish the FUCK up.""Well, I'm very glad to hear that! I'll start arranging the details just as soon as I get back to work tomorrow!""Well, the armor isn't quite as defective as the others, it was just deemed obsolete and not worth dealing with after a different department. Armor was basically made to facilitate people without superpowers or some serious muscle lugging around machine guns as a viable weapon. It even has this fancy-pants ammo generator using some real advanced bullshit, so as long as you don't fuck up the gun somehow or fuck up the generator, you've got an infinite supply of ammo. Supply is the keyword, comes from a pack, you'll need to reload it still.""Sounds good enough to KEEL for me, why the SHIT did they get rid of it? It eat people's flesh or some SHIT?""Well, the gun's welded to your arm, you've still got to do a full stop and plant your feet down to fire it, and apparently, there were some other issues regarding comfort, communication, and some other more "logistics" crap involving it. Apparently cooling was a real concern. So, it's a real one-trick pony, and apparently the mark 2 was so much better there wasn't much point in leaving the normal one around.""...And let me FUCKING guess, we're going to have to BEG AND SCRAPE before you to get them repaired?""Well, yes, but I assure you, the commission I take for facilitating such repairs are very reasonable!"He does ANOTHER STUPID FUCKING SMILE. GODDAMNIT."Well, I'll contact you with the details very, very soon! Ta-ta!"The shithead with the mustache leaves. You chuck the folders at some other goon and tell them to get the info to Tony. Well, everyone's knocked out, time to go beat the shit out of dummies until they stop WASTING TIME. You head down to the armory to get your weapons back, and then head down to the dummy-range and prepare to make some inanimate pieces of shit glad they can't feel pain.Wat do>Practice with your guns>Practice using your Machetes>Practice using your shotgun-slasher in close bomat>Practice using your OWN TWO HANDS to beat the shit out of someone>write in.
>>6065024>Practice using your MachetesI predict we're going to be fighting inside of an armoured truck at some point.
>>6065024>Practice using your shotgun-slasher in close bomatSignature weapon
>>6065024>>Practice using your OWN TWO HANDS to beat the shit out of someoneIts always good to practice in case we get caught on the shitter without a weapon
>>6065024>ah the suit is like a second Tony the Tommy Mommy huh does Tony make brass spent ammo casings COPPER pipes? those romanians will hunt him down need to keep them away from copper pipes
>>6065076Uhhhhhh... We aren't turning this into a Copper Merchant simulator. We'll just say you don't have the facilities to refine it and it's low quality copper for now (the quality of the shots are fine, though)
>>6065138Why not just say bullets produced by his power don't leave casings?
>>6065024>Practice using your shotgun-slasher in close bomat
>>6065192Cause it looks and sounds cool, obviously. I'd've just said they dissolve into nothing shortly after being ejected
>>6065195Actually, yeah, we're switching to disappearing casings, I did not know the going rates of copper, and after a few calcs, it's waaay too much even if Tony makes shit copper and gets stiffed cause it's black market copper.Sorry bout that.
>>6065024>Practice using your shotgun-slasher in close bomatWe have two ranges. Close, and EVEN CLOSER
>>6065202>>6065138clinking clanging casings are cool with guns also its a slipping hazard for enemies i was only doing a insane rant for our sleep deprived protag he needs some random paranoia based on a sudden leap of logics like he is the question.also the recycling rates for copper is sort of fucking shit those recycling centers give you very little and i would also chalk it up to tony would not want to stay hours shooting his gun logically
>>6065410could also melted down those casings for some sort of gang symbols like a badge or making our own bullets for our mooks
>>6065410>i would also chalk it up to tony would not want to stay hours shooting his gun logicallyLiterally his first appearance was him shooting a rock to nothing for fun
You decide to continue using your shotgun-slasher in close combat, eviscerating a few unfortunate dummies while blowing a few to bits. Unlike most other SHITHEAD NO STAMINA PANSIES, you don't need to hold back during training or any dumb shit like that. FULL POWER, ALL THE TIME.As you continue destroying the practice dummies, you become annoyed at the fact that many times, you end up bashing in their faces rather than slashing or stabbing them to bits. Sure, that sorta shit worked fine against the Edgelord, but that was clearly some fuckboi hopped up the HIGH of getting some powers and with what you're decently sure in hindsight was a fixed-up mall katana. You doubt it'd work against someone like West side's big cheese, the Black Knight, the melodramatic archaic monologuing FUCKSHIT BITCH with some stupid fucking magic sword that CAN'T EVEN USE COCONUTS!As such, you start forcing yourself to twist and realign the blade with whatever the fuck you're aiming at mid-swing, slowing down as little as possible. For a normal Shotgun Bayonet user, this would cause immense strain, and it'd be far more efficient to learn how to actually swing the thing around. HOWEVER, YOU'RE IN THE TOP 1% OF SHOTGUN BAYONET USERS, BITCH! THIS SHIT AIN'T NOTHIN! You also learn how to do it the other way around, just in case.You used to mostly just blast fools, but this is a LOT more fun.New techniques learned![Violent Correction (M)]: Realign a melee strike through sheer brute force. [Twisting Feint (BSG)]: Act like you're going to hit with the barrel or blade, then really do the other.It's morning. TUESDAY.INCOMING EVENTS: ORGAN DONOR, 3 DAYSWat do?>Go see Tony and if Kenneth's sent the details about the Raid>Check up on the edgelord, they should've cracked by now, yeah?>Apparently some crazy shithead has been burnt someone to death in Tony's turf using a flamethrower. Go try and find the shithead who did it and if they're gonna be a problem.>More training (write in what you wanna train)>write in
>>6066757>Apparently some crazy shithead has been burnt someone to death in Tony's turf using a flamethrower. Go try and find the shithead who did it and if they're gonna be a problem.
>>6066757>Go see Tony and if Kenneth's sent the details about the Raid
According to the snitches and gossipy little SHITS that live on Tony's turf, yesterday night, sometime before you finished up your deal with the smugglers and dragged Edgelord back to base, one of the many small gangs infesting your territory were rudely awakened by some crazy maniac in some sorta souped-up pyro suit firebombing the shit out of their base. When they tried to kill him, he ran in with a flamethrower and burnt them all to death.Everyone except for two of the freshest recruits were all burned to a crisp, and some snitches say the arsonist even dragged the two out of the fire, though apparently he did it to some of the corpses too, so it's not clear if he did it on purpose or not. Didn't even bother scarring them to send a message or some shit. Nothing was stolen either, all burnt to shit.It's not like they were one of the gangs that were nominally under you or anything, but needless to say, it'd be better to make sure the shithead that did this isn't' going to try and do it to Tony, either.You pile into a van with 5 other goons assigned to this bullshit."I'm NOT FUCKING sherlock, so you Numbnuts better have some goddamn leads for me instead of expecting me to dig through the burnt shithole like some sort of fucked-up-ash-eating-dog."There are, in fact a few.Wat do>They've managed to track down the two survivors, maybe they have some answers as to why they weren't on Burny's shitlist. Gotta act fast, apparently, they're skipping town. And by town, it's more like Country, headed to Leafland.>They were beefing with a fuckload of gangs that hated them a SHITLOAD more than gangs usually do, enough for them to kinda be an alliance solely for fucking them over, which is weird. Maybe they pooled their shit and hired a hitman. One of them is technically under Tony, just go ask them.>A somewhat unreliable snitch says she THINKS she knows where the arsonist holed up for the night, but she's not 100% sure, and he probably would have left by now if he had any common sense. ...The guy did burn a bunch of people to death and then decide to not do it to two people randomly though, so...>go dig through the burnt shithole like some sort of fucked-up-ash-eating-dog and awaken your inner Sherlock.No write ins
>>6067012>They've managed to track down the two survivors, maybe they have some answers as to why they weren't on Burny's shitlist. Gotta act fast, apparently, they're skipping town. And by town, it's more like Country, headed to Leafland.The most time sensitive option
>>6067012>They've managed to track down the two survivors, maybe they have some answers as to why they weren't on Burny's shitlist. Gotta act fast, apparently, they're skipping town. And by town, it's more like Country, headed to Leafland.
"What in the EVER-LOVING SHIT ARE YOU DOING!? Get your ass in gear and take us to the two survivors! Last thing we FUCKING NEED IS FOR THEM TO SKIP TO CANADA!"You arrive at the apartments while the other goons waffle on about the gang. It's one of them ones like in an anime, where any shithead can walk up some shitty galvanized steel stairsGang's name was The Ghosts. Like most gangs, did petty crimes and dealt shitty drugs. Apparently had a REALLY shit rep despite being rather small. Might have had to do with the fact that their survival rates were fucked. Recruits tended to either die quick or become long-lasting members with no in-between. Again, not sure, small as shit gang not working for you that probably would have bitten it soon enough if you waited or easy enough if you needed to COLLECT THEIR SKULLS.Anyways, the apartment is one of them deals where it's wider than it's long and you've got shitty see-through stairs and metal flooring so you're able to just walk up to the apartment while your goons scrabble around like IDIOTS, where you hear scrabbling and muffled shouting coming from inside. As you're about to decide whether to bust down the door (cool and based) or... politely announce who you are to prevent misunderstandings (boring and cringe) the door flies open and two young pieces of shit bowl into you and bounce off. "Oh shit! They're here!" One of em is a shithead boy that can't be older than what, 19? You're fucking shit at ages, and the fucker's wearing a mask. The other is a frankly COMICAL example of a wannabe gangster girl, complete with a tacky golden chain. She's fuckin short too, but she's clearly older than the boy by a bit. The boy readies his bat, but the girl kicks him in the back of the knee. "C-calm down, bitchboi! Yo! These shitheads ain't flashing the colors or n-nuttin' and gramps here is rockin the bags da flamer told uz a-about!" The shitty gangster bravado is ruined by the stuttering and the fact that she can't help but flinch every time she sneaks a peak at your guns. ...Dear god, she talks like she's out of a 90's movie about gangsters. No, a PSA about gangsters, goodness. Both are clearly injured with minor burns. She rummages in her pockets and trembles as she tries to hand you a envelope."I-I g-gots the goods y-your crazy god-suckin homie was sendin' ya, s-so it's all fly, right? W-we're leavin, like- forever, straight up, no more of this city, ya dig?"Wat Do>"Calm the fuck down you shitty brats, I'm not with your shitty dead gang. I'm with someone much worse; Tony, and you're going to fuckin' answer my questions." (write in questions)>Snatch the envolope out of their hands and read it and shoo the clearly USELESS brats away.>"...Are you talking about the SHITSTAIN that randomly decided to step onto TONY'S turf and burn shit to the ground? You can tell me everything you know or I can drag it out of you."write in
Also here's a pic of the girl. I gave up trying to find something good halfway through because google sucks ass now and just picked something funny, sorry. Her hat is currently knocked off and she doesn't have a blunt.
>>6068423>"...Are you talking about the SHITSTAIN that randomly decided to step onto TONY'S turf and burn shit to the ground? You can tell me everything you know or I can drag it out of you."Did she just call us gramps? Fuck
>>6068423>"...Are you talking about the SHITSTAIN that randomly decided to step onto TONY'S turf and burn shit to the ground? You can tell me everything you know or I can drag it out of you."
"...Are you talking about the SHITSTAIN that randomly decided to step onto TONY'S turf and burn shit to the ground? You can tell me everything you know or I can drag it out of you.""W-wait, he's not y-your homeslice? H-he t-talked about you my m-man, said you had m-mad bags! T-told us to give you this! I swear, we were l-literally leavin' th-the gang a-anyways that night a-already!"The boy pipes up in the back."We were having a... disagreement with "G" about our decision to leave over some of the gang's... practices, and then next I knew, the crazy guy with the flamethrower busted down the door, threw a gas can, and started sprayin' while screaming about the judgement of the Gods or some BS. Me and Kats didn't give a shit if the Ghosts died at that point, so we just hid away until crazy mcfirepants was gonna leave, but I guess we passed out from the smoke or some shit. We then woke up, outside, and the fucker was... cooking and eating the corpse of G.""Shit was mad fucked up, but honestly, the Crab deserved it, Yo. Thought w-we wuz next to be snacks, but he spouted more bullpucks about G-god or some s-shit and told us to give some guy with m-mad f-fucked up eyebags this envelope if we saw h-him. T-that's you, right dawg? W-we don't want no trouble, aight? J-just let us fly up and away and away from yo h-hustle, that chill?"Okay, the fact that FLAMEFUCKER knew about you is... pretty expected actually, you've been running around bustin' kneecaps for Tony for a while. Still, you don't remember dealing with any cannibal pyromaniacs as of late."Kat" looks unsure if to continue, but thinks the better of it."U-uh, s-so! If this pisses you off, remember, it's flameshits fault... Y-your l-last name i-is... Hardwood, right? H-he mentioned that..."THAT IS A RED FLAG. Again, no pansy with a secret identity or some horseshit emotions attached to givin it out, but just LOGICALLY speaking, the only people who should know your LAST name is a few people in Tony's Boys. You made it up after doing a buncha dick jokes after leavin the orphanage thing with Tony, so it's not even in city hall or nothin.You take the envelope out of Kat's hand and tear it open, and what you see is some shit fucking penmanship that simply reads... "HOLY WORK IS MOST DEMANDING, MAKE HASTE" an address. Signed "The Purifier." You know the address is somewhere at the "fucked up abandoned warehouse" section of the docks, not where tony or any other gang should have their territory.Wat do>Kick the shits on the way and hurry to the address! STEP ON IT YOU BASTARDS!>"You fucks really tellin' me the whole story? Run in, flame on, BBQ, and then send you two bastards on the way?">"Care to go into more detail into why you were leavin' the Ghosts?">Write in
>>6069075>Kick the shits on the way and hurry to the address! STEP ON IT YOU BASTARDS!This is an ambush!
>>6069075>"You fucks really tellin' me the whole story? Run in, flame on, BBQ, and then send you two bastards on the way?"Unusually reserved for Mr. Sandman here, but I say we get as much info on Mr. Holy Fire before we go confront him. Also maybe lode up on more armaments & bodies beforehand, things might get hot.
>>6069075>"You fucks really tellin' me the whole story? Run in, flame on, BBQ, and then send you two bastards on the way?"
>>6069148>>6069793>>6070688Well, you're not exactly the paragon of stability yourself, but this guy ain't quite right from the the sounds of it."You FUCKS really tellin' me the whole story? Run in, flame on, BBQ, and then send you two bastards on the way? Nothing else you little shit-brats can remember?!"The boy is the one to speak this time."Uh, well, I think his suit is bulletproof? I didn't see any holes or nothin' when I woke up, so... You probably can't do the thing where you shoot the gas tank and he runs around like a chicken before dying of explosion."He glances at Kat"I s-swear, Mistah H, d-dats it! Uh, he did start... draggin' G and a few otha corpses, and then he disappeared r-real swift and q-quick-like when we w-weren't l-lookin' at the dawg, so he's r-real strong might b-be able to t-teleport? S-said he saw y-you as "A brotha Chosen by the gods" or sum shit?"The next few minutes are you mostly letting them ramble and STAMMER LIKE WEAK LITTLE BITCHES about the firefucker. Real generic but still useful info. Fast, strong, doesn't care about being shot, what they meant by throwing a gas-can was that he literally chucked it so hard that it fragmented everywhere, snapped a guy's neck... Typical "rampaging scary bastard" stuff. ...You probably can't take him on with just you and 5 shitters. Definitely should take some backup if you think you're gonna CRACK HIS SKULL.However, after a while, you realize from their slightly more detailed retelling that while the two DUMBFUCKS definitely don't realize, the firefucker was definitely consciously avoiding burning them to death, though you really can't tell why..."And Neither of you TWO Have any other Secrets? Powers? Little Batter boy has yellow eyes...""I got a mild case of Jaundice! I swear!""WHAT THE FUCK IS ONEDICE!?"Your goons spend a few minutes explaining to you what Jaundice is and you even inspect his little pills and shit.QM NOTE: If Jaundice isn't treated by pills, well, it is here, he does have Jaundice.Well, these two shits are completely useless at this point. If they had powers worth a damn for Tony, they'd have used em and tried to run. If they had guts worth a damn, they would have used their guns they're definitely hiding on themselves and and tried to run. Two random shit-tier street urchins spared by some LOONY who doesn't know how to RESPECT TURF.Wat do>Let em shove off, Just head to the place, maybe the whacko is reasonable>Let em shove off, grab some backup before heading to the location>"You two are coming with, firefucker seems to like you, might be useful as leverage">write in
>>6070783>Let em shove off, grab some backup before heading to the locationProbably just needed someone to send the message and they were the lucky ones who got chosen
>>6070783>Let em shove off, grab some backup before heading to the locationTheir probably is a reason that firefucker spared these two, but they seem useless to Tony & thus us, so said reason doesn't matter to us.
>>6070912>>6070932...You've wasted enough time with these two. The flamefucker might have had a reason to not burn em in particularly to ASH, but they're CLEARLY FUCKING USELESS to you and Tony."Alright, I'm done. Fuck off. I'm leaving.""W-what?""I SAID I'M FUCKING LEAVING, YOU SHITTY BRATS! GO CATCH A RIDE OUT OF TOWN OR GO DIE IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE, IT'S ALL THE SAME TO ME!"As you leave, you hear the two shitty brats start crying in relief that "Mean Ol' Mister Hardwood" left them alone and some sappy bullshit about never leaving each other. FUCKING SHITS, WHY THE HELL DID THEY EVEN JOIN A GANG IF THEY'RE THAT FUCKING COWARDLY!? UGH!You make it back to base, and grab a good amount of men, and load up on weapons and ammunition. In particular, you grab the rest of the usual loadout, plus a few grenades, and instruct one of the Goons to pick up an old RPG that you SWEAR TO WHATEVER AFTERLIFE HE BELIEVES IN THAT YOU WILL RIP HIS BALLS OFF AND SHOVE THEM IN HIS SKULL IF HE FUCKS UP WITH IT. Your explosives and options for dealing with super-armor is... limited, but it'll have to do.You make your way to the warehouse. As you pull up, you note the distinct glow of flames coming from the windows, and the raw heat that comes off of the building as immense. However, strangely, the structure itself seems to be totally fine. As you order you lackey's to open the warehouse doors and the rest of em level their weapons, a blast of heat comes out, followed shortly by the stench of cooked meat.Sitting ontop a pile of flaming corpses is a bald albino man in a rusty looking set of power armor connected to a flamethower. His helmet is placed to the side. The rest of the warehouse is also full of piles of flaming corpses.He grins as he looks at you and your men. His voice sounds like someone burned his throat shut, then cut it open with a rusty knife."Ahhh.... How wonderous, to see so many blessed by the lord and guarded against the unforgivable sin gathered in one place... I've been expecting you, Anon. You are even more blessed than I could have imagined! Come, let us talk, my little brother. Of our divine destinies. I wish you no harm, nor for you to abandon your other brother, only to discuss our purpose." Wat do>"Oh great, a religious shithead, you gonna start fucking buggin' me to go to church and turn myself in?!">*Play along* "Er- Yeah! Sure! My brother, let's go fuckin... purge some sinners!">"Alright then, start fuckin' talkin'.">"Yeah, no, fuck this." "OPEN FIRE!" "...heh, fire.">write inQM NOTE: I SWEAR THIS ISN'T A RANDOM GENRE SHIFT
Here's his face
>>6070984>>"Oh great, a religious shithead, you gonna start fucking buggin' me to go to church and turn myself in?!"
>>6070984>"Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent.">"Alright then, start fuckin' talkin'."Start walking toward him to close distance
>>6070984>"Alright then, start fuckin' talkin'.">>6070985Lmao fat
>>6070984>"Yeah, no, fuck this." "OPEN FIRE!" "...heh, fire.">>6070985>judge pic This is not going to end well
>>6071206a what pic
>>6070984> "MY PURPOSE IS TO FUCK UP ANY SHITSTAINS THAT PISS OFF TONY BE GLAD HE HASN'T FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU FUCKING ABOUT ON HIS TURF! WHAT'S YOUR GAME?! YOU WANT IN WITH ME & TONY OR YOU ONE A THEM PAIN-IN-THE-ASS VIGILANTES?!"He may be crazy, but we're psychotic, fuck subtlety let's go full ham
>>6070987>>6071128>>6071178>>6071206>>6071365>>6071410QM NOTE: It appears I've referenced something without knowing what the fuck that is. Carre to tell me? Plz?"Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent. ...Alright then, start fuckin' talkin'.""WONDROUS! To make it swift and sweet as the morning dew, blessed individuals are guarded against the unforgivable, unspeakable sin, and some, like you and I, my brother, are enlightened even further, into Chosen, those who hunt down the sinners in whatever foul holes they hide themselves... I thought you... unenlightened, and wished to rectify that... and yet, you are on a level even more pure than ME!"His smile and eyes get wider and wider and his fat face stretches to contain his grin."While the lord lures the foolish demons to me, I still must be vigilant and diligent in my work to hunt them down. But your very fate guides you to cut them down like wheat as you merely do as you wish! I can smell one, approaching his condemnation on your very soul! SIMPLY DIVINE! "...Is he talking about the suckers you're gonna massacre in the raid, the future organ donor, or is he just off his rocker?"THIS IS TRULY A SIGN FROM THE ONE ABOVE! I MUST IMPLORE YOU TO JOIN ME ON A HUNT!"As he finishes his screaming fit, he raises his hands, chanting in some fucked up Mumbo-jumbo voodoo bullshit, and a flaming hole, large enough to fit a motherfucking 18 wheeler through emerges. From it you hear, beyond the sparks hitting the ground. ...Japanese nightclub music? What the FUCK is this maniac doing?"Ahhh... It appears I missed a spot last time..."He fits on the helmet, his voice now sounding even more rusty and arcid than before."Alas, even if you do not truly believe despite my testimony, I am MORE than willing to make it worth your while, my brother. ...Your men are free to join in too. The Lord rewards those who serve him faithfully. Weapons, Wealth, or perhaps something to deepen your connection to Him, I have received such rewards for dutiful service. We shall not delay either. I swear on my soul that you shall return within the day, either victorious and laden with just rewards, or a wondrous martyr for the cleansing of the world. Though... Sinners are a craven and disgusting sort, I doubt they shall give us much trouble."Okay, on the one hand, you really wanna bash some skulls. On the other hand, you have no idea where this shithead is taking you. On the other other hand, this guy seems firmly in the too crazy to lie category at this point. On the other other other hand, he might be delusional. On the other other other other hand, this FUCKING GAG ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE, LET'S HURRY THE FUCK UP!Wat do>"LETS GO CLEANSE SOME SOULS! GET IN, BOYS!">"BOYS, STAY HERE, I'M GONNA GO BASH SOME SKULLS!">"...I'll pass, but I guess it was TOLERABLE meeting you, brother.">write in
>>6072299FUCK!*On the other other other hand, he might be delusional and believing his own lies.
>>6072299>QM NOTE: It appears I've referenced something without knowing what the fuck that is. Carre to tell me? Plz?I dunno what anon meant by judge pic either, but I did some searching and perhaps this is the source?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judge_Holden>"LETS GO CLEANSE SOME SOULS! GET IN, BOYS!"I for one never look gift horses in the mouth
>>6072299>"LETS GO CLEANSE SOME SOULS! GET IN, BOYS!">Walk in expecting insane zealot to attempt to purge us>Instead he invites us to go a-purging with himLmao>PicJudge Holden, of Blood Meridian fame. Satan, or otherwise the incarnation of wanton violence in the American Southwest.
>>6072299>"LETS GO CLEANSE SOME SOULS! GET IN, BOYS!">"BOYS, STAY HERE, I'M GONNA GO BASH SOME SKULLS!"Somebody should probably report to Tony that he might be a cult leader now.
>>6072863>>6072880>>6072913Ah, FUCK IT, PURGE, PURGE, PURGE!>"LETS GO CLEANSE SOME SOULS! GET IN, BOYS!"Your men hesitate briefly, but look at the two superpowered maniacs in front of them, and decide that rushing into a portal to kill God only knows who (perhaps literally in this case) is better than pissing either of them, and let out a general cry of enthusiasm of bashing in heads.The flamefucker dashes into the portal, and you whip out your SMGS and run after your "brother," and you are followed closely by your men. You feel a wave of intense heat washing over you as you step into... a huge ass fucking nightclub, and it's choked full to the brim of asian men covered in tattoos. There's a few servers in skimpy outfits and shit, but it's mostly what are probably Yakuza.It's pretty obvious who are the sinners in this context. Flamefucker wastes no time, dashing in to the crowd, his flamethrower cooking people alive as he howls in delight and his victims scream in pain. You follow suit, firing into the crowd of screaming and confused thugs. Their attempt to coordinate themselves is utterly FUCKED OVER by your men flooding in, numbering around 40 in total, screaming their heads off and shooting or bashing everything in sight.Your little HUNTING PARTY continues the massacre for a few minutes, with little resistance. A few of your men take a few blows, but these shitters are FLAT FOOTED FUCKS caught off-guard. A very easy kill, few manage to even get their weapons out. Soon, the only people that remain standing are your men, you and flamefucker."WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL! But... there is more work to be done brother. I sense more approaching from afar! There is also a further infestation upstairs, and the cowardly craven beasts have elected to prepare themselves against an assault instead of coming to aid their Ilk. ...Also, each group have HERETICS with them, which are not nearly as... fragile as a usual sinner. Only a Chosen can bring them to judgement, though I am unable to discern how many, as the reek of sin is too thick. How do you wish to handle this, brother? I am... inexperienced with matter of directing men. We cannot turn back, THE LORD IS WATCHING."Wat do?>"HEY EVERYONE! LET'S CRUSH THE COWARD FUCKERS ABOVE BEFORE THEIR RATFUCK BACKUP COMES IN TO SAVE THEIR SORRY ASSES!">"Let's split up. You take half of my men and go (high/defensive) and I'll do the other one.">"FUCK SPLITTING UP, they can come to us, we'll fortify the room into their FINAL JUDGEMENT.">write in
>>6073224How many explosives do we have on hand? I'm thinking maybe make the upstairs into the downstairs, see how well their fortifications hold up to that.
>>6073577You've got 6 grenades, the RPG, and flamefucker has a seemingly endless supply of gas cans. There's probably also a few goons who have grenades or have made molotov cocktails out of the more alcoholic drinks from the bar. The RPG is really the only thing that won't require "cooking" to actually hit the ceiling, and the gas cans and molotovs don't have much explosive power.The place is a concerte shithole of a club too, so it's pretty solid. Best you could do is probably blow a hole in the ceiling using the RPG and throw your explosives through that. They might try to snipe through the hole if you're not quick enough with the explosives though.
>>6073703In that case, I'm thinking split up into two groups, group A uses the RPG to blast a hole into the ceiling/upstairs floor & follow up with 'nade spam. That should provide enough of a surprise distraction to allow group B to bypass any fortifications & flank the survivors. Group B could even be us by ourselves if we trust anyone else with our grenades (could take Pyro with us too but I feel like him chucking his gasoline canisters up through the hole would be more useful, that much fire would be really hard to ignore. Then again, maybe leaving our goons alone with him isn't a smart idea).Also, assuming we take out the defenders, would we be able to snipe at the reinforcements from the upper story?
>>6073224>"HEY EVERYONE! LET'S CRUSH THE COWARD FUCKERS ABOVE BEFORE THEIR RATFUCK BACKUP COMES IN TO SAVE THEIR SORRY ASSES!"All offence
>>6073773Yes, but unless you want to start doing skaven brand tactics of shooting your men in the back to hit the people in the front, you can't be nearly as effective as the Yakuza would be and fire every single gun you could fit in the hole, since some of your men+flamefuck would still be downstairs.
>>6073224>"HEY EVERYONE! LET'S CRUSH THE COWARD FUCKERS ABOVE BEFORE THEIR RATFUCK BACKUP COMES IN TO SAVE THEIR SORRY ASSES!"
>>6073848I meant snipe them before they enter, from a window or balcony or something. Or is 'upstairs' still below ground level?
>>6074400You're not below ground level, sorry if calling it a "concrete shithole" made it sound that way. There's one of those icecube windows and you can see that you're not underground, forgot to mention that. As for the balcony thing, you don't know what upstairs looks like, but it's a nightclub so it's unlikely they'd have a balcony. They might have a few windows you could smash out.
Rolled 2 (1d2)Rolling to see which option you pick since votes are even
"ALRIGHT, SHITHEAD, YOU BETTER STILL HAVE THAT FUCKING ROCKET! YOU'RE GONNA BLOW A HOLE, HALF OF YOU WILL CHUCK SHIT THOUGH THE HOLE, AND THE REST OF US WILL RUSH THE RATFUCKS WHILE THE FUCKERS ARE SCREAMING ABOUT BEING ON FIRE! HALF WITH ME, HALF WITH FLAMEFUCK CHUKIN SHIT! YOU, FUCKER, YOU'LL BE WITH ME AND TELL THEM IF THEIR SHOTS ARE GOING WIDE ON THE RADIO!"Your men organise themselves reasonably well, and Rocket aims his RPG at the ceiling while you and your group get ready."AND STOP FIRING WHEN I RADIO YOU, IF YOU HIT ME, I'LL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF AND FEED THEM TO YOU!"The Rocket flies, you hear a metric shitload of grenades and molotovs being thrown, and you give the signal."GET THE FUCK IN, BOYS!"You and your boys charge up the stairs, whooping and hollering as the screams above get louder and louder. There's a makeshift barricade made of sofas and tables, but the few men that were guarding it are hollering and panicking as they try to pat out the flames on themselves, letting you and your boys leap over the barricades and literally trample them underfoot and emerge into the floor proper.The top floor is quite clearly more of a luxurious suite than the dingy nightclub, looking more like a combination of a smoking lounge and bar but a bit more modern. It'd be a lot more nice looking if there wasn't a hole in the center that had sporadically had a molotov cocktail or gascan chucked out of it that the Yakuza are scrambling to avoid.One particularly thuggish looking man with a scar on his cheek sneers at you as he sees you emerge."Ah, American swine, I suppose you think we'll be easy pickings? We're not like the snot nosed newbies be-"He is swiftly cut off by his face being obliterated by a blast from your shotgun."IF YOU'VE GOT TIME TO SPEAK YOU'VE GOT TIME TO DIE MOTHERFUCKERS!"With your coordinated attack throwing them off guard, the throwables erupting from the ground, and the one guy that was actually coordinated throwing his advantage to monologue like a FUCKING HALFWIT you manage to once again, kill a shitload of the Yakuza. However, before long, they've managed to somewhat group up and figure out where to stand to avoid getting lit on fire by most of the cocktails, and have bunched themselves up for safety... MAKING THEM A PRIME CHARGING TARGET YESYESYES!1/?
You dash into the fray, your shotgun firing wildly and blade going to absolute town. Many of the SHITFUCKS make their last mistake in assuming tiring YOU out is a viable strategy or that you're "exhausted" from cutting so many of them down. A few of the idiots also assume you subscribe to their shitty off-brand honor, and are swiftly crippled with their weebswords in hand by a swift shot to the nuts, followed by one to the brain. Many are also bashed into the hotzones where the flaming projectiles from below are flying, dying WONDERFUL HORRIBLE FLAMING DEATHS!However... your men are unfortunately, really struggling with these shitheads after their initial advantage, even while you occasionally take potshots at you, and the fuckers are wising up, sending more of their men to mob you. You're not getting TIRED, THAT'S QUITE LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE, but having to deal with so many shitheads mobbing you is a fucking chore. There's plenty of the shitheads too, having a crazy flamefucker with you that can tank most damage really helped clear out the fuckers below. Not helping is the fact that the MORON you trusted with the radio is having difficulties coordinating where to throw the shit with the ones below now that the fighting is happening in little mobs all across the room, sometimes hitting your own men.Wat DO?>FUCK THIS COMPLICATED BULLSHIT, JUST KEEP GOING, HARDER, FASTER, BLOODIER!>Switch to your submachine guns and try to support your men>Switch to your Machetes and focus on clearing out the people mobbing (you) >Yell at the radio guy to tell em to stop chucking the shit through the hole, we're hitting our own guys now! (can be chosen in addition to other options)>Where the fuck are the "Heretics"!? They've gotta be the bosses, right?
>>6076219>Switch to your Machetes and focus on clearing out the people mobbing (you)>Yell at the radio guy to tell em to stop chucking the shit through the hole, we're hitting our own guys now! (can be chosen in addition to other options)chop chop
>>6076219Do we still have our SMG's on us? The solution to too many hostiles is more dakka.
>>6076219>>Switch to your Machetes and focus on clearing out the people mobbing (you)>>Yell at the radio guy to tell em to stop chucking the shit through the hole, we're hitting our own guys now! (can be chosen in addition to other options)
>>6076548Yes? It's one of the options, or do you mean use SMG to defend self?
>>6077055My dumbass somehow missed that being an option, but I was thinking less "supporting fire for our men" & more "TRYING TO DROWN ME IN BODIES?! I'LL DROWN YOU IN HOT LEAD!"
>Imagine having a random week-long update gap with no warningYeah, my bad guys, Final exams and a buncha other shit popped up.GOD-SHIT DAMMIT! Shotguns were made to kill bastards and bitches up close, but this shit is fucking ridiculous! These Eastern shitters are practically fucking lemmings! Sure, you’re not killing all of them, but you’d think they’d back the fuck off after at least maiming so many! That fucker with the radio isn’t helping either!“FUCKHEAD! STOP FUCKING UP AND CHATTING AWAY! GO AND FIGHT!”The fucker finally stops messing up orders and bombing YOUR OWN MEN and runs into the fray… only to get punched out by some blonde guy 5 seconds later. …WONDERFUL!You do you jerk-feint on yet another shithead running at you with a fucking baseball bat of all things, slipping past his guard and plunging your bayonet into his chest, he lets out a yelp as you heave as hard as you can, flinging him from the tip as he crashes into a thug with a face tattoo that is promptly shredded by a blast from your shotgun as you blast them both to bits while they struggle to get back up, causing the fucking horde to back the hell off for a second and letting you switch to your machetes.You press the momentary advantage and charge the mass of thugs. Japanese fuckers generally don’t have shit in terms of guns, hell, even their cops have shit-for-guns so you’d expect them to at least slow you down since all they do is get scraps in, but every fucker in here lasts three blows at best before you slice them open, discover why brass knuckles generally don’y work against swords, or they fumble their swords. Plus, their mobbing has worked against them, with such a fucking packed mess of goons, the few of them that do have guns can’t get a clear shot.One fucker is victim to a vicious upward swipe, knocking his arms into the air as his metal pipe goes flying into the crowd before you slam your machetes down, literally disarming him as you then whirl to bodyslam a fucker on your left, trampling him underfoot before stabbing another fucker in the face. It’s not like these fuckers aren’t putting up a good fight, the fact that your fuckboys haven’t mopped them all up yet is proof enough, but they just can’t deal with YOU, a fact that you’re going to goddamn exploit until they’re all fucking dead. Not to mention your SUPERIOR AMERICAN FIREPOWER is slowly turning the tide in your favor, but very goddamn slowly.Suddenly, you feel the IMMENSE URGE TO KILL THE SHIT OUT OF WHATEVER THE FUCK IS STANDING RIGHT OVER THERE. You headbutt a thug out of the way and start barreling right toward the back of the room, slamming and chopping all the Japanese shitters out of the way, driven by the MIGHTY NEED TO KILL THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER IS THERE.
You encounter a sorry sight of three fucking skinny gingers standing around acting like they’re hot shit surrounded by a bunch of your dead or injured boys with cuts and shitloads of blood everywhere. Like, way too fucking much. Seriously, it’s like a cheap-ass horror movie in terms of bodies to blood ratio.“...Ah… The american dog’s leader is here…”“...Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him, you two can just enjoy the show. His men are too scared to fight us now.”One of them steps forward. You’d say it’s the youngest or oldest or the fucking shortest or the one with a different colored hat, but they all look the fucking same.“Come, are you not here to kill me?”Good fucking lord, not did they fucking speak like you’re not there, but they’re fucking speaking english, so they’re speaking in english specifically to let you understand the fact that they’re goddamn speaking like you’re not there. You actually admire the taunting on some level, but the admiration is overcome by THE URGE TO SEE THEM FUCKING DEAD DEAD DEAD KILL KILL KILLKILL KILL KILL>LET’S SEE HOW SMUG THIS SHIT IS WHEN YOU’VE CHOPPED OFF HIS HEAD WITH YOUR MACHETES>SAME AS THE LAST, BUT WITH YOUR SHOTTY!>FUCK FAIRNESS, SHOOT THE FUCKERS IN THE BACK WITH YOUR SHOTTY>SAME AS THE LAST, BUT SMGSSSSSS!>COWARDICE IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH! GET IN AFTER ME OR FUCKING DIE!>WRITE IN SOMETHING ABOUT KILLING THESE BASTARDS
>>6081091>YOU THINK YOUR FUCKING EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION'S GONNA WORK ON ME AS MUCH AS IT DOES YOUR PREBUBESCENT BOYFRIENDS?! YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN A GOD NEGGING IN SINCE THE GOD DAMNED TURN OF THE CENTURY. TAKE OUT THAT LITTLE THING YOU CALL A SWORD AND LETS SEE WHO'S BIGGER!>Take a stance to lull them into a false sense of security. . . then switch to shotty for a blast to the face halfway through drawing back a slashthe old fake out.
>>6081091>SAME AS THE LAST, BUT SMGSSSSSS!noice
>>6081091>SAME AS THE LAST, BUT SMGSSSSSS!
>>6081288>>6081509>>6082015(...thinking about it, I probably should have went with the other roll onto which heretic would be here since you already fought one katana guy...)"YOU THINK YOUR FUCKING EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION'S GONNA WORK ON ME AS MUCH AS IT DOES YOUR PREBUBESCENT BOYFRIENDS?! YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN A GOD NEGGING IN SINCE THE GOD DAMNED TURN OF THE CENTURY. TAKE OUT THAT LITTLE THING YOU CALL A SWORD AND LETS SEE WHO'S BIGGER!"He draws out his admittedly quite large katana, and lets his scabbard clatter to the ground as he wields it with both hands."...Take a stance.""HOW KIND OF YOU, YOU SOULLESS GINGER, I'LL MAKE SURE TO ONLY LIGHTLY PISS ON YOUR CORPSE IF I CAN TELL IT APART FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND'S."You have... no actual idea how to take a fucking stance. However, that doesn't fucking matter, since you're going to cheat. You cross your machetes together, clang em a few times, do the fucking martial arts bullshit of tensing up and waiting for one of the two to make the first move.... Before you leap backwards, seathe your machetes as fast as you can, and spit out a storm of pure BULLET toward the two shits in the back. The one on the left nimbly dives as fast as he can, but is grazed in the back as he lets out a grunt, while the other... FUCKING HELL IT'S AN EVEN EDGIER RIPOFF OF EDGELORD BACK HOME!He whips out his sword out of his scabbard as his fucking eyes glow, and the blood around the damn floor leaps to it, forming a literal wall of blood that SOMEHOW destroys your fucking bullets. GREAT, BLOOD POWERS AND RED HAIR, HOLY SHIT, HEROS HAVE BRANDING TO WORRY ABOUT, WHY THE FUCK ARE THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS GIVING FUCKING FORESHADOWING!? YOU DON'T GO AROUND YELLING YOUR FUCKING GIMMICK, YOU'RE PRETTY SURE MOST PEOPLE JUST THINK YOU'RE A METH-HEAD. "HONORLESS-"THE OVERCOMPENSATOR is swiftly cut off by a hail of your bullets headed your way. He tried to rip off edgelord a second time, but he's a lot fucking worse at it than his boyfriend, letting a few bullets hit his body... which then start drawing blood from the fucking PILE OF BLOOD AN CORPSES AGAIN TO SEAL IT UP! FUCK ME! WHAT THE SHIT!?Great, you've got three murderous gingers on your ass now, and you're just FUCKING SURROUNDED by what apparently fuels them!Wat do>Focus SMG fire on Overcompensator, make em waste all the blood!>Get some fucker back on the radio and get him to burn the corpse patch! ...Probably gonna distract you a lil' but you should be fiiiine.>Let's see how well they can patch themselves up with a blasted-off limb! Swap to shotty!>THREE ON ONE SWORD DUEL, FUCK YEAH TACTICS IS FOR PUSSY!>write in
>>6082445>Let's see how well they can patch themselves up with a blasted-off limb! Swap to shotty!
>>6082445>Focus SMG fire on Overcompensator, make em waste all the blood!
>>6082445>Swap to shotty
Not dead but Internet is expect update at Thursday I'm so sorry posting from a wendys
>>6082896>>6082986>>6082996>>6083429Alright, let's see how well their regeneration bullshit stands up to a limb being ripped off by a shotgun! You holster your SMGS and switch back to your shotgun, aiming at the Overcompensator's shoulder, trying to blow it off... But your holstering left a small opening the fucking dodgy ginger runs in and starts doing some actual swordplay, real fuckshit fancy panst stuff. Each strike is nothing special but keeps going into one another fucking one, putting you on the defense. Unfortunately, this shitty style was clearly made to wear people down, and it appears that these bastards have not caught on to your power. You fake slowing down a little as a delusional little grin appears on his face, then SLAM your bayonet into one of his shitty strikes, knocking his sword to the side, and leaving your shotgun pointed straight at his kneecap."SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR KNEECAPS, AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, YOUR FUCKING FOOT!"You pull on the trigger, and blow that suckers kneecap and lower left leg right the fuck off! Unfortunately, you don't have a lot of time to appreciate your handiwork, as the Overcompensator roars and charges you with a wild swing, careening his oversized katana towards your face, forcing you to block it with your bayonet. You grit your teeth and prepare to push the fucker back, but nearly get your eye taken out when the quickdraw/copycat comes out of the left side of your vision and does another fucking drawslash, forcing you to yank yourself to the side.You also see the flowfuck trying not to scream as he scrambles to jam his lower leg back onto his stump in the back.Wat do?>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU COWARDS!? IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA HELP ME WITH THE ONES WALKING AROUND, GET THE FUCKING CRIPPLE BITCHING ABOUT ON THE GROUND!!!">Try to smash your way past quickdraw and overcomp to perform a finisher on the flowshit>Focus on taking out one of the gingers currently trying to doubleteam you (write in which one)>write in
>>6086830>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU COWARDS!? IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA HELP ME WITH THE ONES WALKING AROUND, GET THE FUCKING CRIPPLE BITCHING ABOUT ON THE GROUND!!!"3v1 is bullshit
>>6086830>What the fuck are you doing you cowards?!>Draw the others back, step by step, till you drop a smoke nade with it's pin in. They should flinch, then forget it so we can set up for a surprise later.
>>6087137you don't have any smoke grenades, you have 3 normal grenades on you.
>>6087410All the same to me
