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/r9k/ - ROBOT9001



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>"Pick up that can."
What do, anon?
>>
Bend him over and fuck his pooper bloody with the can
>>
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I pick up the can like a good sissyboi and hope that master orders me around more
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>>50383461
I pick up the can and place it in the bin.
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>>50383461
>Pick up the can
>Throw it at his kneecap
>Starts chasing me
>Make him enter a room
>Get out and lock him in that room repeatedly pressing "e"
>mfw i'm a big desinc fan
>>
>>50383477
he counters and beats your brains out with his electric baton, then sodomizes you with it. it's very effective!
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>impulse 101
>vaporize with ar2 secondary
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>>50383461
I am not a native English speaker, I did not understand what he said. I just walked around him, when he tried to beat me.
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>>50383492
>>50383477

The duality of /r9k/ , Dr.Based and Mr Faggot
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>>50383461
>pick up this bitch! *grabs crotch*
>>
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Don't tell ME to pick up that can
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>>50383543
Do an accelerated back hop off the trash can
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Bhop out of there
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>>50383931
Who is who though
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>>50383461
I pick up the can, I throw it to him, and while he tries to defend himself I grab his truncheon and I sodomize him while he shouts and cries.
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>>50385137
its pretty obvious, cancer
>>
Nobody's got time for that!
>>
>feel the plug moving around under my clothes as I bend over and unclench my buttocks the resulting pressure from my panties pushes the plug deeper inside me
>as I reach out for the can I can feel it almost brushing my prostrate
>I freeze if I reach any further I'm definitely going to cum
>citizen did you hear me? pick up that can
>I squeeze my buttocks pushing the plug back from the precipice
>I'm visibly shaking but somehow I manage to reach the can with my fingertip but at the last moment disaster strikes
>the can slips from by fingers
>at the same moment the plug slips my rings grip and hits me right in the p spot
>trying to delay the agony just made worse and the sensation runs all the way up my spine causing me to audibly whimper
>I can feel the cum ozzing out as the CP looms over me
>I cover my crotch to hide my shame
>I feel like I'm about to cry
>visibly disgusted he reaches down and picks up the can
>"ok m-move along citizen"
>>
>>50383931
>>50385137
He's joking

We're all faggots here.
>>
>>50383461
Close the game and uninstall because the game is so unbelievably mediocre. It's kinda neat but not nearly as good as some people sperg over it
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>>50385453
Wow. Just wow.
You're super gay.
>>
>>50385453
CP would kill on sight.
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>>50383461
Pick the can up and throw in his face then circle strafe the fuck out of him, every time.
>>
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>>50383461
Cleaning up shit is the janny's job, not mine.
>>
>>50383461
>do you know i am nigerian prince
>if you can pick up that can for me
>i can reward you with many many cans to be picked up by my people
>only if you are a good person you can help me pick up the can
>>
>>50385721
I play through it every year and have a blast, homo.
>>
>>50383461
>pick up the can
>friend of Combine guy takes photo
>uploads it on social media with caption "so I told Anon to pick up the can.. he actually did it the absolute madman hahahahahaha!"
>become famous :')
>>
>>50384165
Is there a series of HL2 as well from the same author?
>>
>>50387168
Yeah he's actively working on it.

8 meaty episodes out already.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbdo8VCAaV4
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>>50385453
c-can you make this into a full fledged fan fic please
>>
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> enter the hallway
> turn around and perform an accelerated backwards hop
> phase straight through him and continue jumping as my velocity increases exponentially
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>>50387560
Depends anon, do you like oviposition?
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>>50385453

10/10 I laughed, cried and came
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>split can
>Slit his throat and then pants
>Fuck the corpse then run
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>>50383461
Dyson Sphere
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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>>50388419
>entire civilizations were assimilated and guided to create megastructures sophisticated enough to harvest the energies of whole stars just so some mallcop could tell a goatee-growing cartpusher to pick up a can
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>>50388268
>Combine advisor oviposition fantasy

you had my interest, but now you have my attention.
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>>50385453
You fake bastard you've never stuck something in your ass before
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>>50383461
Uninstall this shit, install the original and best Half-Life.
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>>50388603
Just start HL2 after the boat part and you get a pretty good experience.
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>>50385453
the true hl2rp experience
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>>50383461
>"O-ok. I picked up the can."
>"Is this the right one?"
>"Were should I put it?"
>"The trash bin?"
>"Isn't this metal?"
>"Shouldn't I recycle it?"
>"Where did you get this can from, anyways?"
>"Can I keep this can?"
>"Do you wanna hold it?"
>"What kind of soda is this?"
>"Is this can yours?"
>"I don't think this can is empty."
>"Who was drinking this before?"
>"Is this diet?"
>"Is this the new recipe?"
>"Why are so few soda cans blue?"
>"Do you feel sluggish after you drink soda?"
>"Is that a baton? Why the mask?"
>"If I took that off, would you die?
>"Are you even a real guard?"
>"Where am I putting this can again?"
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>>50388846
How to die to a CP officer 101
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>>50383461

Pick up the can
Put in the trash
Get involved with the rebels
Lead a revolution
Kill thousands of his comrades
Overthrow the government
Watch the world and all it's creatures burn

This is the future that he chose.
>>
>pick the can
>throw it in the thrash
>reload
>throw the can at the officer so I can get both achievements





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