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>Have a long time female friend
>She's a Christian and a virgin, I know this for a fact, don't ask how
>Tell her how I feel
>Tells me she feels the same way but my age is a problem (she's 23 I'm 31)
>Fair enough
>She gets together with a guy she met on a Christian dating site
>He uses her up and spits her out, turns out he was just lying to get laid
>Contacts me crying, saying shit like it was me all along and that she thinks we should be together after all
>She suddenly magically doesn't have a problem with the age gap
>Know exactly why she magically doesn't have a problem with the age gap
How am I supposed to feel about this?

Pic unrelated. It's just pink wafers.
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>>68623387
Depends. Are you a virgin yourself?
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>>68623387
Those are some good looking wafers and I would enjoy putting them in my mouth
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honestly my guy, you're totally justified in not wanting her anymore. Just gotta tell her that you're not some backup plan to bail out a girl who wasn't interested in you to begin with.

Don't be cruel about it or shame her, like clearly she was taken advantage of, but she stepped all over you to do it, so don't be a doormat and take her back.
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>>68623418
No but it was never about that, it was more about me not being good enough until literally the day after she, and I'm gonna phrase this bluntly, devalued herself in her own eyes enough for me to be worth a shot.
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>>68623387
yup she got fucked and now that she lost her virginity she for some reason wants you... not sure why she didnt want you to have it tho... idk how I would feel desu since I would probably have moved on over being rejected (sorry im just not able to be a friend with a girl that said im not good enough) so idk alot of that situatino is what I think I would do. either way anon you have to sort how you really feel and come to whatever conclusion and go from there
>>
Maybe save the fantasy writing for when you come up with a better story. No young beautiful tradwife has ever gone running back into the arms of a 4chan poster saying he was the right choice all along
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>>68623435
>you're not some backup plan to bail out a girl who wasn't interested in you to begin with
That seems unfair given she said she feels the same way and it was only age stopping her.
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>>68623458
I never said she was a young beautiful trad wife. She was like a 6.5 out of 10.
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>>68623435
I second what pizza anon put. Don't be someone's second choice.
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>>68623458
i have had a 22 year old girl I was interested in straight up tell me that she wanted to fuck around now, but she'd come and lock me down when she's 30 and done with her fun days.

Women keep backup plans, and they will say what they think those backups want to hear when it's time for them to exercise the option.
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>>68623387
just take her u idiot. -.-
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>>68623387
Yeah she's a dumb slut, bit it sounds like you could do a lot worse. I'd go for her.
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>>68623461
age gap is such a thin excuse as to be irrelevant. If she was really interested in you, age wouldn't matter, she would be rationalizing away her perceived issues with age gaps, not using them to rationalize you away as an option.
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>>68623458
tradwives are excusively waiting for their shitposter in shining armor to come claim them.
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>>68623495
>taking a used up whore
she's used up and worthless now. no point in taking her. plus what she's doing is a slap in the face. if anon had any self-respect he's slap the shit out of her
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>>68623495
die trans your kind dont belong here
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>>68623545
aint she a long time fren?
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>>68623387
>How am I supposed to feel about this?
Well she lost her V card and now goes for reserve airfield to land. Also

>premarital sex
>christian
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>>68623559
>I like you too but not that much tee hee
>gets pumped and dumped for the infinityeth time this has happened to a woman like this
>now he's good enough to raise the child "they'll" have in 9 months because Chad does not wear a condom
That's what passes for friendship these days?
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>>68623387
dont do it, you cant count on her to be reliable given the circumstances. if she's still serious about it in a few months then maybe its worth a shot
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>>68623467
You're like a 1.8/10 and this never happened
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>>68623387
>Christian
>fucks Chad on the first date
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>>68623572
The way she justifies it is that her guard was lowered. She had been seeing the guy for a good while, so it's not like she jumped into bed. This guy had apparently been cheating the whole time more or less too.
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>>68623592
op said "long time female fren"
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>>68623627
And that's how she treats him?
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>>68623559
i wouldn't say she's worthless, but if a girl rejects you, you don't take her back, period. Trust her first instinct. Her immediate conditions changed, and that changed her mind. Cool, but here's the catch, the conditions will always be changing. Maybe things look up for her in her love life beyond you, and suddenly, she has a rationalization for why you should break up. You can't count on a partner who treats you like this.
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>>68623608
lol look at this simp incel geek virgin knighting for a girl he'll never fuck
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I dont understand how this can be a hard decision?
And everyone being a fucking simp, of all places here on r9k?

Like dude, you already know the answer. Its NO.
Morals always comes first.

Also Im always curious how many women who are 23 would say no to a 30 year old who are in every other way perfect for them just because of age?
It scares me as a 31 year old virgin to think about young 20 year old women thinking there is a problem with age gap when I did nothing diffrent in my early 20s compared to now myself.
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>>68623640
>>68623641
sheeesh op is a boomer and he gets a slightly used gf
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>>68623665
simps will get the rope first
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>>68623615
"Blah blah blah anon, I was just misguided and lied to by this big bad chad guy!"
Come on, you're not that retarded to believe this?
She slept with someone she wasn't even dating that long to see he's a liar, while also rejecting you with "well uhmm rationally speaking our age gap is too big so no...". It's OVER anon, break all ties and get over it.
I had similar case when a girl came to me after dating my friend instead of me with similar "my opinions have changed" bs. She was verbally sent in a long trip towards oblivion after that and I DO NOT regret that decision.
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>>68623387
>>68623449
>Iiterally the day after
Tell her how she made you feel and suggest giving it some time.
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>>68623663
It's because pedo is the word of the day and people are more conscious of age gaps atm. If you're dating a woman >5 years younger, you're basically a pedophile.
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>>68623665
it's not about the "use". It's the fact that she rejected him, got tossed around like pizza dough, and comes back desperate for him immediately after. It's a slap in the face. You don't reward that treatment by giving her the thing that you can only give one person in your life.
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>>68623461
>and it was only age stopping her
How is it "stopping her"? It's not an illegal age gap, it's not even bad according to that half your age plus 7 rule or whatever it is. What she really meant is that she thought she could get a younger guy who she would feel more comfortable around i.e. she thought she could do better. It's the same shit as if OP was too bald or too far or anything like that.
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>>68623387
Do not do it. Listen to me this one time. Don't. Be friends with her but you need to get over being into her right now. You keep making up excuses for yourself in this thread. The entire time you date her or like her you will be thinking of that man. Itll drive you crazy and you will waste what precious years you have left at 31.
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>>68623713
Sure, but the guy probably isn't going to do any better.
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>>68623608
Why all the seething? The thought of someone on r9k having a girl interested in them terrifies you that much?
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>>68623731
Leaving her to rot on dating apps is already doing better.
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Wtf you became friends with someone that young?!?! Tf youve seen her as a baby
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>>68623735
If she was interested in you she would've been interested in you before dating that guy. Im not saying it to put you down or take your confidence but it is the truth.
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>>68623387
You're supposed to do the same thing as the other guy. You'll get some experience you really need and she won't make a good wife anyway.
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>>68623731
if OP gets a slightly less attractive girl who had also been tossed around by some chad, but hadn't rejected him first, I'd be happy for him. That's infinitely more tolerable than what OPs 'friend' is doing. Don't be a doormat, and especially don't start your relationship as the doormat.
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>>68623761
OP here, this is the point that I'm trying to get home. The issue to me isn't that she isn't a virgin anymore, I'm not a virgin. The issue is that I was too old for her and then suddenly magically I wasn't after she lost her virginity to some guy that I truly believe manipulated her into having sex over the course of months. I didn't get younger which means that is the only alternative. I don't think it was her fault and I don't blame her for doing something stupid or getting manipulated, but I do take issue with her logic. She didn't suddenly start seeing me as a better person, she started seeing herself as a worse person and that is why I was good enough all of a sudden. It's insulting.
>>
youre supposed to manipulate women. when they make choices for themselves they ALWAYS fuck up
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>>68623827
Alternatively, she might've come to the conclusion guys closer to her age are only looking for sex whereas you are looking for a relationship.
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>>68623827
OP you've found exactly what you need to tell this girl and how to say it. I hope I can take credit in helping you articulate this, or at least for making you feel less conflicted seeing things this way. Saying no to pussy when it comes to you like this is a strong show of character, and is a valuable quality to have as a man and a husband. You're a much better man than this woman gave you credit for, and she's going to hate herself even more for shitting things up with you when she hears you say this. You'll find someone who appreciates you some day. Stay strong, and much love <3
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>>68623827
Looks like you already have your answer dude.
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>>68623876
She did and that's the problem. She knew that already and chose against him. They always do this.
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>>68623387
You could fuck, and just enjoy each other's company. Not everything has to be about long term commitment.
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>>68623827
I agree it's insulting, but that's life.
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>>68623387
Go for it. If something you can always dump her
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>>68623751
I'm not OP. Also your assessment is an oversimplification. People can be interested in each other to various degrees and their willingness to take things a step further depends on their mood at that point in their life.
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>>68624223
Her mood changed that drastically in one day?
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>>68624088
get the fuck off the board you disgusting sex-haver. i want to collect every single one of you fucks, throw you in a giant meat grinder, and turn it on, so no one ever has to deal with all the shit that comes from slutty disgusting sex-havers
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>>68624318
I am a 31 year old virgin. I'm just saying that I would at least fuck her. Not everyone is a virgin because they're a fucking prude.
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>>68623827
>I don't think it was her fault
Who's fault is it then? Is she so retarded that she can't be held culpable for her own decisions? She made a choice, and a bad one, you should hold her accountable for that. Between her shit decision making and treating you as a backup plan it's pretty obvious what type of person she is.
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>>68623449
Or maybe she realized how fucking retarded she had been.
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>>68624380
if you're a virgin and some dude lies to you a bunch, you don't really have perspective or a frame of reference to know whether he's trying to smash or if he's actually really romantic and cool and just what you were looking for.

Women were not, historically completely free agents who made all their own decisions unilaterally; there was family and friends and a temperate society that influenced them. You can blame the failure of all that to help explain women's problems with dating now. He's holding her culpable by not dating her, and that's about all he can do. He can see the sin as a mistake and forgive her, and understand how she was manipulated, and how the absence of any other eyes on her "relationship" with that other guy may have contributed to her mistakes.
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>>68623387
sounds like she's just a young idiot that was feeling pressured
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>>68624445
If she was raised religious, which I have to assume given that she found him in a Christian dating site, she would have been hammered with warnings about men like this all her life. It's not exactly an uncommon story. She thought she knew better than the warnings and that he was different. Tons of women fall for the exact same and it should be a massive red flag every single time. Exactly 0 sympathy for her in this situation.
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>>68624547
i wasn't raised christian so i wouldn't know, but i also know girls who said they were raised christian, but then find these super liberal churches to accept them because they are such big whores that regular congregations shame them and turn them away.
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>>68623449
> No

Then you have absolutely nothing to complain about. You are made for each other.
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>>68623827
Keep in mind the very real possibility that you are attractive to her now because she is in need of comfort. You might love spending the night drinking and partying, but the next morning when the hangover sets in, you love peace and quiet. But that doesn't stop you from doing the same thing next weekend (even if yo learn to hold back a little). So expect her to ditch yo when she's recovered from her 'emotional hangover.'

So either be her friend and move on romantically or play her like the last asshole, knowing that both the relationship and the friendship will end together. But whatever you do, don't be the cuck that she will eventually cheat on.
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>>68624339
the army of the chaste is coming, and they have a lot of pent up.... aggression
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>>68624647
They might be cumming, but not in front of anyone, lol.
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>>68624588
It does depend a lot on the particular church, some are very loose. Plus stories like this are all too common, where good Christian girls lose themselves completely after making a mistake. If OP doesn't accept her I almost guarantee she'll spiral and make a bunch more terrible decisions in the coming weeks. You see more than a few "born again" Christians acting like complete whores and thinking it's okay because they've confessed their sins and whatnot.

I assume she's somewhat serious about her faith, otherwise she would have lost it before now. I was raised Christian and there was a huge emphasis on warning girls about men like this, and reinforcing that they needed to wait until marriage no matter what. I've heard the exact story of a guy acting like a good Christian to bed a virgin girl too many times to count, and knowing that she would have been warned and still fell for it makes any sympathy I might have evaporate.
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>>68623387
she fucked up, let her continue taking the cock carousel to hell, she's already decided how she views you, as a sucker
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>>68624588
>and turn them away.
Now that's questionable to me as a Christian, you can disapprove of someone's behavior but actively saying a woman can't come to your church is very low brow. Who do these people think Mary Magdalene was, or the Samaritan woman? Did Christ only preach to the noble, wealthy and "virtuous"?
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>She won't date OP because of "age gap"
>Gets her hole torn up by Chad and dumped, many such cases
>Runs back to OP with a sudden paradigm shift, not because he's a backup or anything
Lol
Fucking LMAO
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Update us when you tell her >>68623449 and >>68623827, I reeeally want to see her reaction and drink her tears. Make our saturday, man.
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>>68624491
23 is not young and naive. If you are a woman still getting played like men like that at 23 you aren't worth marrying.
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>>68624709
knowing these women, i'm sure it was not just the degenerate sexual behavior, though that's what they cited when i talked to them about it. It's also unclear to me, not having been there, that they were turned away explicitly, or if they just felt like that when they got criticism and decided to not return.
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>>68624088
Aren't they Christian?
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>>68624800
Yeah, but so are my family and a lot of family friends, and they sure do act a lot like me; a godless heathen. Christians that give a fuck about following scripture to the letter are almost extinct. It's just a cultural identity at this point.
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>>68623387
>fuck her in pussy and pussy below her nose
>run away
problem solved, don't even dare thinking about becoming the husband to this vile whore and the father for the bastard child
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>>68624245
It's not a drastic change, you're still thinking in black and white. You'll understand when you have more experience.
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>>68625086
She went from the age gap making it a dead issue to him being the one she was always meant to be with in what reads like less than a day after she got pumped and dumped. She decided this while Chad's genetic material was still flowing through her. It doesn't matter how conscious of a thought process this all was to her. He doesn't have to settle for it and shouldn't.
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>>68625122
>He doesn't have to settle for it and shouldn't.
Based
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>>68623699
This is good advice. I'd suggest giving it a few days to think about how you feel and also let her know after you've collected your thoughts
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>>68625122
To be clear, I don't think OP should forgive the girl, he should forget about her. But just because she didn't quite like him enough to ignore the age gap doesn't mean she didn't like him at all. Still, the fact that she didn't see him as good enough to date before and what changed her mind was basically becoming more desperate and less picky, I could never forgive her for that.
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>>68623827

Well the issue here is are you going to put a roastie before your self-respect. She clearly isn't attracted to you and would rather get pumped and dumped by Chad. She made her decision, and you'd be a fool to play Captain Save a Hoe.

At best you'll just be the rebound guy before another Chad comes along to pump and dump. This isn't a woman you want to make long term plans with.

All you really have to respond with is, "You chose another man over me and I'll never feel ok with a relationship after being not good enough for you. You will resent having to settle for me and I will resent being settled for and the relationship is doomed for failure."

Just move on OP you're not turning a hoe into a housewife.
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>>68625232
Even still, the interest gap was too much for her, and that was before she asked him to do for her what she already didn't do for him, which was overlook a perceived flaw and settle.
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>>68624709

>disregard all christian teaching and mock it
>get turned away

wooooooow how could that happen
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>>68623387
Simple explanation: it was a stupid reason to begin with and getting her heart broken made her realize she values you more.

Not necessarily saying go for it, but I wouldn't read into this too much.
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>>68625257
>I'll never feel ok with a relationship after being not good enough for you. You will resent having to settle for me
That sounds cuckold-ish. Like he's aknowledging her judgement as valid.
He was always good enough, far better than her actually. She was a cretin for thinking differently.

>>68625318
She doesn't value him more, she values herself less. That's why she wants to give OP a chance, because he looks better by comparison now, that she's worth less.
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>>68625318

Yeah but you don't want to make a woman like this your parther.

>oops I fucked chad but he dumped me we should date now
>oops I ran up my credit cards
>oops our child isn't yours
>oops I left you for some guy I met a month ago

Roasties gonna roast.
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>>68623387
How much do you care about virginity and are you going to find someone better anytime soon who is a virgin?
And was she being genuinely retarded about the "age gap" e.g. her family and friends are retarded like that and she has no boundaries in that area, or was it some shit she made up?
Rejecting a girl can be costly, that's what'd concern me most in this situation. But at the same time, a bad marriage is much more costly. So weigh these things.
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>>68625373

>That sounds cuckold-ish. Like he's aknowledging her judgement as valid.

Kek thanks for pointing that out I've struggled to get rid of my inner beta for a long time.
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>>68625384
The fact that she's "only" 23 just means we have witnessed her first mistake of thousands to come before she winds up on Bumble in 15 years still looking to settle down with a serious man. This is how those women we see posted here today began.
>>
OP give us an update, please don't be a beta cuckold
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>>68623387
because men their age are whiney insecure and annoying. they just need to be with one long enough for all that to come through
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>>68625448
That guy left long ago. For some real advise not from autists. I hope
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>>68623387
I'm 29 and my gf is 19. We both lost it to eachother a month ago.
We too had this age gap issue at the beginning but she wanted me more than not so we got together.
(we are both aspies and fat)
Your gut feeling is correct your christian friend just wants a rebound and you're her second option.
Sorry bud
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>>68625591
no one cares what (you) think faggot. go back to rebbit
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>>68623827
i might sound like a scumbag but what stops you from just fucking her and ditching her ass later like the other dude?
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>She gets together with a guy she met on a Christian dating site
>He uses her up and spits her out, turns out he was just lying to get laid
>Contacts me crying, saying shit like it was me all along and that she thinks we should be together after all
>She suddenly magically doesn't have a problem with the age gap
Is there a name for this phenonmen where females will refuse to partner up with long term male friends they supposedly respect but then will have sex with some random dude within a matter of days/week?
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>>68623387
>Know exactly why she magically doesn't have a problem with the age gap
Pregnant?
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>>68626838
cock carousel, alpha fuxx beta buxx, woman moment, take your pick
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>>68626838
yes. its called "i can do better".
>>
use her up and spit her out next.
why are you attaching yourself to a female.
your story shows that every woman is the fucking same, christian virgin or not.
if you want to have some kids fine.
stop thinking women are equals though, for your sake. it gives them a serious advantage over your psyche and it's what allows them to get away with shit like this.
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>>68623387
Do Christian dating sites have any extroverted women? Haven't used one but I'm considering it. I am 23 but the only one at my church under 35 and over 12
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>>68623827
I have a suggestion...
Tell her you like her company and friendship and that you would rather wait a while before stepping into that direction (dating).

Keep in mind you could have her at anytime here.
See if she can show/make you anything to feel less insulted.
You can always be a "jerk" and turn it into a friends with benefif/it's complicated situation.
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>>68623703
that doesnt make sense. my gf is 20 and im 26
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>>68627183
you have to be extroverted to go to a church anyway. most of the stuff involved is 'fellowship' and talking to people
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>>68624401
That's what he said, retard. She conveniently realized only after she could no longer value/esteem herself in a particular way that maybe he was on her level.
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>>68623461
If that's the case and the truth, then the age is still stopping her. If that's not the case, and you're being disingenuous, then age was never stopping her.

He didn't get younger, moron.
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>>68623387
wafers are so fucking shit
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>>68623435
This is the only post you should listen to anon. don't be cruel, but don't be soft. She's in desperation mode and nothing good comes from that.
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>>68623387
This is the scenario you're in op. If you're alone at 31 though you probably aren't a catch. You have to ask yourself if you're ok with being the safe beta she settled for. Might be better than being alone but you have to swallow your pride big time.

>get interest of girl and almost seal the deal
>but you aren't attractive enough to her
>uses age gap as excuse to end things
>looks for something more exciting
>gets pumped and dumped by Chad despite being 'Christian'
>comes crying back to you to settle with the safe beta who won't hurt her
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>>68623876
That's a highly Machiavellian, utilitarian, and manipulative realization to put into practice against OP. He should reject her flat out if a matter-of-fact and cold realization is what pushed her to him, and decline to be used in that mechanical way. He deserves real natural affection and love.
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>>68624445
> you don't really have perspective or a frame of reference
You don't need these if you're not a retard. You just reason it out with your non-primitive non-retard brain.

Additionally, unless it was forcible rape, she can't use that excuse. She was on a Christian dating site, so sex before marriage is a no-no anyway. All she had to do was be true to her values like a decent person and say "no" and then if he persisted it was rape anyway which isn't her fault. But she didn't stay true to her values, which makes her a greasy person.
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>>68625314
The core of Christian teaching is that you do not turn people away, retard. Its settled fact, not up for discussion either. By your argument they would have to turn themselves away from the church for turning her away from the church.
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>>68623387
>How am I supposed to feel about this?
You feel about the inside of her vagina with your penis.
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>>68628925
If there are any cells left from the dick/cum of her husband-by-nature, you're having gay sex with him by having sex with her. Simple as.
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>>68628954
If you want to be gay, you can just come out of the closet and suck some dicks.
You don't have to come up with these elaborate fantasies.
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>>68629808
no need for seethe sneethe, "no u" simply does not work. amogus sneed. i will not elaborate further.
>>
>>68623387
Not worth it OP, steer away from her



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