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Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual support

Monday =.=

Hello frens
>How are you doing today?
>Any plans for today?
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
>Why did you hurt yourself?
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
>>
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Hi Hi
Here are some useful links for anyone who might need them:

> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):
https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7

> frst aid post cuting:
https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/

>a wound care guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic

>a bpd workbook:
https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read
>>
>>76436942
huh the other one is still up why a new one
>>
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>>76436931
it's super easy
you just type chat gpt, go onto openAI website make an account and you're done
Then you tell it what it's supposed to write, and how many words its supposed to have any there's your characterization

It might not be ideal but it's always helpful and you can always improve it yourself
>>
>>76436981
oh it's because the other one's reached the image limit and soon it'll reach the reply limit so I decided to make a new one already and just let the old one die
>>
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>How are you doing today?
BLEH
>Any plans for today?
studystudystudystudystudy
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
a week ago. i was just laying in my bed and choking on my tears. i got really upset by some stupid reason and decided it would be better to cause a pain to myself.
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
lack of caring about myself.
i really want to change, but i have zero clue where to start. ive had this idea in my head for a long time, i just dont exactly know what i want from myself >.>

>>76437004
aaaaaaaaaaaa ill just stick to whatever i have right now. i might probably try it out later, thank u /cat/
>>
>>76436945
I rebuke you in the name of Jesus
you hate God so you want to hurt the image of God
isn't that right?
speak up demon
>>
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>>76437068
>BLEH
:C
there a reason why mondays aren't called fundays
>studystudystudystudystudy
;_;
stay strong
>just laying in my bed and choking on my tears
I hope you don't feel like that again
remember you can always vent here
>really want to change
why do you want to change? and what ro you want to change? what kind if things do you dislike about yourself?
>just stick to whatever i have right now. i might probably try it out later
that's okay, good luck
>>
>>76437109
hissssss >:3
lole
>>
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>>76436942
hi first time posting here. cute hooni <3
>How are you doing today?
my mental health's been horrible lately. i'm okay in the middle of the day but in the mornings and the evenings up until bed i keep thinking about how much i want to kill myself.
>Any plans for today?
working part time. i work at a dog supply store and it's shipment day so i'll have some things to do. hope i get to see some big dogs today, especially fluffy breeds.
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
according to my timer it's been 2 days.
>Why did you hurt yourself?
it's nice to feel pain when i'm sad, and i like seeing blood, even though i'm more of a catscratch cutter than anything else. either that or i hit myself or stop eating.
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
i have a suicide plan but i don't want to tell my therapist because she'll put me in the hospital and i really don't want to miss work bc we're super short staffed and i'll be screwing everyone over like usual.
>>
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>>76437447
Heya anon
>forrst time posting here.
welcome :>
>cute hooni <3
yup he is a cutie ^^
>mental health's been horrible lately.
why? is there a cause?
>working part time.
I hope it's not too tiring
at least you get to see cute dogs, I guess
>it's nice to feel pain when i'm sad, and i like seeing blood
have you tried healthier coping mechanisms? maybe you could do something like donate blood
>she'll put me in the hospital and i really don't want to miss work
personally I think your mental health is more important than work
Maybe instead of talking about a suicide plan you could tell your therapist that you sometimes have thought's about suicide or just very negative thoughs in general
If you don't tell her that you're planning to hurt yourself you won't go to a hospital
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>>76437264
>there a reason why mondays aren't called fundays
ive always wished theyd take out the thursday out of the week, i keep thinking that after wednesday there goes friday!!!
>stay strong
thank u, still in the process of reading
>I hope you don't feel like that again
i wish it was like that too, but i cant predict my own mood >.>
>remember you can always vent here
<3
>why do you want to change?
i never liked living the way i do now. im just really sick of the routine, i study all week just to go out in the forest/somewhere nearby on the weekend. i know that many people are stuck in the same situation as me, but i want to change something atleast.
>what kind if things do you dislike about yourself?
probably how i look most of the times. i have a pale skin, constant tiredness, and sleep-related issue. these problems are very much reflecting on how i look

>>76437447
>hi first time posting here
hello!
>my mental health's been horrible lately. i'm okay in the middle of the day but in the mornings and the evenings up until bed i keep thinking about how much i want to kill myself.
how long have u been feeling this way? if u recently got these thoughts in ur mind, there are a lot of chances to get you out of it.
as /cat/ said, if u have a very nice therapist, her plan will be to get u out of those nightmare thoughts. i highly doubt she will straightly send u to a mental hospital once u tell her how u currently feel.
i hope she can help u. if anything, u can post how you are feeling throughout the day right here
>>
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>>76436332
hope it's going okay still now. Mine is a little crazy but can't complain

>>76436477
>Good luck ^^
about as busy as I expected, but not too bad overall. Important call later that I'm trying to prepare for. Not for my main job though, so a little more relaxed.
>>76436942
how's your monday going cat?

>>76436863
>finished studying
how's studying going? I used to hate it when i was a student, but now wish i could go back sometimes
>i wanted to sleep more than eating.
aha i hear you there. Both are about equally as important though, so can't skip out on either
> ill probably really start taking more care of myself than i usually do
what i want to hear! Sounds good!
>currently doing russian literature.
this sounds interesting to me. I'm really into literature in general(I'm pretty well read in ancient, British, and Chinese literature), but had russian lit on to do list. Don't know enough history (usually read a lot of history before getting literature from any place) so still a lot to do before i get there. Guess you're doing it for school though so not as easy to be enthusiastic about it aha
>>
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>>76437447
hi friend, good to have you here!
>in the mornings and the evenings up until bed i keep thinking about how much i want to kill myself.
that's a pretty common experience. It sounds like when you're doing things during the day, you feel fine, but when you're sedentary and alone with your thoughts, it happens. I experience similar sometimes.
> i work at a dog supply store
i see why you have an easy time staying happy during the day, since sounds so fun lol
> i'm more of a catscratch cutter than anything else
no need to be too harsh over this, certainly no a contest and less harm is better than worse.
>i don't want to tell my therapist because she'll put me in the hospital
i have mixed views on therapists. Do you think you're close to doing it or just have a plan the back of your head? Like cat says, health comes first, but if you're just thinking about it, therapist might not be the best to talk about. I only would if it's an emergency and you're on the verge of losing control. You sound reasonably sound during day time hours, do you know why you're feeling so bad at night? Maybe you need a busier schedule to tire yourself out more so you have less time to sit with your thoughts.
>>
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>>76438218
>how's studying going? I used to hate it when i was a student, but now wish i could go back sometimes
currently? very difficult. i cant meet most of the deadlines, i find it much harder to focus and get work done when im stressed.
i don't think ill miss these times, i cant even imagine what the future holds for me >.>
>aha i hear you there. Both are about equally as important though, so can't skip out on either
ill try to eat earlier so i dont have to eat dinner at night lole
>what i want to hear! Sounds good!
thank u, officeanon!
>I'm really into literature in general(I'm pretty well read in ancient, British, and Chinese literature), but had russian lit on to do list.
whoa, do u know Chinese? or do u read books translated into ur language?
>don't know enough history (usually read a lot of history before getting literature from any place) so still a lot to do before i get there.
oi, most of russian literature is all about history!
u dont need to know about a historical ruler to open a book right now and read about him in literature :') (unless u know the language and how to read cyrillic, lole)
>Guess you're doing it for school though so not as easy to be enthusiastic about it aha
sometimes for self-discovery, but i dont have time to read anything for myself right now.
>>
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>>76438412
> i cant meet most of the deadlines
ah well wish you luck. Just focus on what you need to. Hope you manage okay
>i don't think ill miss these times
i guess it's not i miss my schooldays, as much as i wish i could go back to academic world with the mindset and appreciate i do now. Would be a lot better and enjoy things more, but all is easier to appreciate in hindsight
>so i dont have to eat dinner at night
it's hard when busy. I try to cook real food, but with my schedule lately it's been really hard some days.
> do u know Chinese? or do u read books translated into ur language?
unfortunately, I do not. I've tried to learn, have been to China(just recently) and had a chinese ex girlfriend who tried to teach me, but no luck. It's hard for english native speakers and I've never learned any foreign language. Most works have very good translations and oldest stuff is hard to read in original anyway since language evolved with time.
>u dont need to know about a historical ruler to open a book right now and read about him in literature
yeah i get that, but good to have a little background knowledge of time period and all. Get more appreciation out of things that way.
> i dont have time to read anything for myself right now.
understand. Hard to find time during busy times as well, but I'm trying to force myself to read more again since i'm backlogged on books
>>
>>76436942
>How are you doing today?
Okayish maybe. I'd say it's overall negative but I don't really care since I'm just gonna lay down on the floor with my jacket in a bit.
>Any plans for today?
No. Nothing. As always.
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
Today, some cuts with a pocket knife. I'm also still swollen from punching myself 2 days ago
>Why did you hurt yourself?
I saw something, I guess it's PTSD as this point.
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
There's always something wearing me down, I feel like i've betrayed my friends who I met some months ago. Online of course. My knife's knifes also dull and there's only one clean razor blade left. For some reason they're rusting much quicker now whenever I apply alcohol to them.
>>
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>>76438634
>ah well wish you luck. Just focus on what you need to. Hope you manage okay
i hope that too, thank u xD
>as much as i wish i could go back to academic world with the mindset and appreciate i do now. Would be a lot better and enjoy things more, but all is easier to appreciate in hindsight
yeah, i think everyone sometimes wishes to go back in time with the current mindset they have. of course youd be the smartest for ur age, and u would see things much differently hehe
>it's hard when busy. I try to cook real food, but with my schedule lately it's been really hard some days.
what do u usually eat on dinner? and how long do u stay at work? im sure they give u break to eat something atleast i hope they do
>unfortunately, I do not. I've tried to learn, have been to China(just recently) and had a chinese ex girlfriend who tried to teach me, but no luck
aw, did u even wanted to learn Chinese in the first place? im sure u would probably start learning it seriously just for ur girlfriend
>yeah i get that, but good to have a little background knowledge of time period and all. Get more appreciation out of things that way.
thats fair
>understand. Hard to find time during busy times as well, but I'm trying to force myself to read more again since i'm backlogged on books
speaking of time, whats ur daily schedule? do u have a full 2 day weekends, or do u work on saturday/sunday?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------excuse me my cat just typed this
>>
>>76431004
>One that pays above a living wage will allow me to be more successful with women and provide for a family.
best of luck with that, my friend. they aren't as common as they used to be.

>If that fails tho, I'll at least have money.
that's always an upside. ^^

>I love it, but it pays 15hr. I could become a supervisor/trainer pretty easily and fix that, but I want to do more then teach teenagers cpr.
sometimes that's worth more than the money, but you have your goals set, which is respectale in it's own right.

>>76431218
>Guess that's life sometimes
well, you've got us now, so you can be way more picky with your irl friends. :p

>But I don't value being logical above all else.
as with all things, there needs to be balanced, because the logical thing to do isn't necessarily the nice thing to do.

>oh yeah definitely wouldn't do that.
you're word in god's ear...

>glad i have the option since suppose most office workers don't
one of the pros a car has over public transportation.

>List of things goes on and on.
yeah. sometimes i wish self-driving cars would be a thing sooner.

>>76432389
>I just don't want to be a nuisance to them
sometimes you have to be one and force yourself into someones life, but i understand when you're not in the mental state to do that.

>>76436942
>Hello frens
hellooo catbro! :D

sorry i'm a little late to the thread. today turned out to be a me day. ^^' hope everyone is doing alright this far into the week.

>>76437264
>fundays
maybe we should establish that. :>

>>76437447
>hi first time posting here.
welcome to the thread, anon! (^-^)

>>76438772
hey anon!

>I'm just gonna lay down on the floor with my jacket in a bit.
that can be quite comfy.

>No. Nothing. As always.
hm. is there anything you usually do to distract yourself?
>>
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>>76438772
>Today, some cuts with a pocket knife. I'm also still swollen from punching myself 2 days ago
did you patch yourself up?

>I saw something
what did you see? if you want to talk about it, that is.

>I feel like i've betrayed my friends who I met some months ago.
why do you think that?

>For some reason they're rusting much quicker now whenever I apply alcohol to them.
hm. maybe some of the alcohole evaporated, so there's more water now?

>>76438814
>excuse me my cat just typed this
you've got a very wellspoken cat. ^^ hey chroma! how are you?
>>
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>>76438878
hey yuanon! i hope youre doing okay
>today turned out to be a me day. ^^
whatd u exactly do today? i hope u had fun !
>>76438896
>you've got a very wellspoken cat. ^^
thats right, she put so much thoughts into typing out "--------------------"
im so honored...
>how are you?
currently feeling a little stressed and buried in deadlines. right now im sitting and reading a 180-page book due tomorrow >.>
>>
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>>76438878
>hm. is there anything you usually do to distract yourself?
Not really, I usually just play some shitty online games, for some reason I have this strange tendency to make sure that everything's going to be quiet and the days gonna go fine with no distractions if I want to play anything with a story. I haven't slept in my bed for days.
>>76438896
>did you patch yourself up?
Used bandaids on the heavier cuts but the rest are small ones that barely bled, I just usually want that scraping type of pain.
>what did you see
Unfortunately, I don't like talking about it simply because of how autistic it sounds. It'd basically make me sound like an MK ULTRA agent with how my triggers work.
>why do you think that?
Got into a fight with them, they haven't really talked to me since. I don't know how to approach them again or if I even should.
>maybe some of the alcohole evaporated, so there's more water now?
Didn't think about that, it's very well possible. I usually make sure to wipe them down with a tissue after cleaning but I don't think that really changes much.
>>
>>76438976
omg this little asshole just pressed on shutdown pc button -_-
>>
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>>76439026
im embarrassing her in this entire thread because what she did was unforgivable!!!
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>How are you doing today?
I just am
>Any plans for today?
I planned and made lasagna today it taste nice
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
Today
>Why did you hurt yourself?
Bored, tired, sad idk
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
My regular stuff

Idk what to even do with myself right now, every time I stop distracting myself I just want to rot and end my life. Today I just made dinner, rot and played vidyia and was wondering if I should meet with friends this weekend or not because I don't really feel like going but staying home for another month seems like a bad thing for my anxiety or smth idk.
>>
>>76438066
>wished theyd take out the thursday out
that'd be great, or better, makes friday a part of the weekend
>study all week just to go out in the forest/somewhere nearby
sounds fun besides that study part
but I see why you'd like a change
>and sleep-related issue
I see, yeah all of those are related to your insomnia
what kind of things have you tried to get rid of it?

>>76438218
Hey officeanon
>how's your monday going cat?
nice and chill
Hope you get at least of nice and chill today, good luck with that important call

>>76438772
>I'd say it's overall negative
sorry to hear that
>lay down on the floor with my jacket
sounds unconventional
do you do that often?
>Nothing. As always
have you thought about changing that? or do you like doing nothing
>Today
hope you've patched yourself up anon
anf that everything heals well ^^
>PTSD
i see, are there any topics we shouldn't talk about?
>razor blade left. For some reason they're rusting
aaaaa avoid rusty ones at all cost anon
I don't want you getting tetanus

>>76438878
Hello yuanon
>sorry i'm a little late to the thread
no probs
how was your day?
>hope everyone is doing alright
thanks
yupp I'm having a chill day^^
>maybe we should establish that. :>
I think we should call it dumbday

>>76439061
omg what a cutie :3
She will not be silenced! :<
>>
>>76438976
>whatd u exactly do today? i hope u had fun !
same as yesterday. ^^ played some elden ring and build some minis.

>i hope u had fun !
not gonna lie, it was pretty nice.

>im so honored...
as you should be when your cat graces you with her ingenuity. ;D

>currently feeling a little stressed and buried in deadlines. right now im sitting and reading a 180-page book due tomorrow >.>
it's a challenge, but i'm sure you can do it! i believe in you! (*-*)

>>76439022
>I usually just play some shitty online games, for some reason I have this strange tendency to make sure that everything's going to be quiet and the days gonna go fine with no distractions if I want to play anything with a story.
i get. you have to feel it before you engage with some stuff.

>I haven't slept in my bed for days.
i tried sleeping on the floor with something similar to a futon a few month ago. i like it, honestly. what's your reason?

>Used bandaids on the heavier cuts but the rest are small ones that barely bled
good job!

>Unfortunately, I don't like talking about it simply because of how autistic it sounds.
don't worry. you don't have to. you always can, though.

>I don't know how to approach them again or if I even should.
in my opinion, it's always worth the effort. even if it doesn't work out, you'll get some real closure and won't regret it later.

>usually make sure to wipe them down with a tissue after cleaning but I don't think that really changes much.
probably not. i don't really know.

>>76439026
well, you didn't respect her writing-skills, so what was she supposed to do?

>>76439061
what an embarrassed (but very cute) cat. ^^
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>>76439263
Hello frem
>I just am
better than was ;>
>planned and made lasagna today it taste nice
so based
lasanga is cool
good work!
>Today
it's okay, just please patch yourself up very well
>should meet with friends this weekend
sounds like a good idea imo
you might not feel like it but I you can always stay at home some other day
>>
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>>76439263
heya frem!

>I just am
that's good enough sometimes.

>I planned and made lasagna today it taste nice
:0 now i'm jealous...

>Today I just made dinner, rot and played vidyia
basically did the same, but i had a good time. funny how that works. :/

>wondering if I should meet with friends this weekend or not because I don't really feel like going
do you think yout mood would improve if you're with them?

>>76439334
>how was your day?
played some er, build some stuff and did my workout. all in all a good day. now i'm watching a stream while i wait for the laundry to finish.

>yupp I'm having a chill day^^
nice. what are you up to? still watching that witcher lp?

>I think we should call it dumbday
we could, but i'm not sure it's would appreciate that... ^^'
>>
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>>76438772
hey friend. sorry things are so tough lately. Lots of people are here to talk if you need anything though.

>>76438814
>i think everyone sometimes wishes to go back in time with the current mindset they have.
i go back and forth between doing grad school. On one hand I like the idea and think it offers some nice benefits. On the other hand, I'm advancing without it and I do also think kind of poorly about how acedmia works in general (even at higher levels like that)
>what do u usually eat on dinner?
i started cooking a bit more lately, so many things. Big thing is mostly very protein heavy meals because of my workout routine. Like tonight planning to make seared tuna steaks with lemon glaze sauce with equal parts rice and vegetables.
> how long do u stay at work?
I only go in 2 times, maybe 3, a week. I go in very early and leave before traffic gets bad. Have time for lunch when there too, so schedule with work isn't too bad
> did u even wanted to learn Chinese in the first place?
she was a big reason why I wanted to, but obviously interesting enough it's own. Do have an appreciation for it and think it's interesting do my own interest in the lit and history, but motivation went down after her.
>whats ur daily schedule? do u have a full 2 day weekends
well, usually wake up early, workout, eat/get ready, then either read or commute depending whether I'm in office or not. Work, break/lunch/walk, and more work. Cook at night, read or work on side project(i have a side project i'm working on sort of related to my main job). I don't work weekends, but schedule is almost the same, but I'll try to go hiking, out on day trips to see stuff, focus on side project more, or chores for my house (i own one so lots of work). I occasionally have business events or conferences for my side stuff, but outside that things are pretty routine
>excuse me my cat just typed this
awwww
>>
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>>76439334
>that'd be great, or better, makes friday a part of the weekend
boys will see this and say "hell yeah"
>what kind of things have you tried to get rid of it?
the first and most logical thing i tried to do is normalize my sleep. it got out of hand when i couldnt get out of bed for 3 days in a row and it felt like i was slowly rotting..... -_-

>>76439364
>played some elden ring and build some minis.
minis? whats dat?
>not gonna lie, it was pretty nice.
good to know :D
>it's a challenge, but i'm sure you can do it! i believe in you! (*-*)
thank u! ive read the summary of the book and now im going to write about the characters. hopefully ill finish by 2 am and go to bed feeling tired.

>>76439263
hi hi !
>I planned and made lasagna today it taste nice
i used to eat lasagna as a kid.. damn it!!!
i hope lasagna was worth it :P
>wondering if I should meet with friends this weekend or not because I don't really feel like going but staying home for another month seems like a bad thing for my anxiety or smth idk.
if u think you'll feel much better if you go out with your friends, u should definitely go
i wish u a good time with ur friends ^^
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>>76439472
>i go back and forth between doing grad school. On one hand I like the idea and think it offers some nice benefits. On the other hand, I'm advancing without it and I do also think kind of poorly about how acedmia works in general (even at higher levels like that)
time travel is obviously a fairy tale, but i think it would be nice to get in first grade again for a day lole
>cooking
thats rlly nice, are u learning how to cook meals, or do u already have lots of experience?
>I only go in 2 times, maybe 3, a week. I go in very early and leave before traffic gets bad. Have time for lunch when there too, so schedule with work isn't too bad
i expected something bad honestly, im really glad that u have a comfortable work environment!
>she was a big reason why I wanted to, but obviously interesting enough it's own.
on the other hand, u dont have to learn it anymore if u dont want to :D
>daily schedule
:0
how do you manage to do everything in just one day? i hope u have enough time to sleep since you have to cook a meal at nights >.>
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>>76438878
>so you can be way more picky with your irl friends.
thank you all for that lol I made some very poor choices in the past and really do value my interaction with all of you here more than a good chunk of people I've known
> the logical thing to do isn't necessarily the nice thing to do.
for sure, but one step further than nice, might not even be the smart thing to do. See many cases of logical people doing something that doesn't take into consideration most people are not logical.
> pros a car has over public transportation.
big pro is we don't even have that here. kind of annoying even in most cities here you kinda need a car to navigate around inside.
> sometimes i wish self-driving cars would be a thing sooner.
i remember they always talk about how they need to work through all the ethical issues and safety conditions before it would be really ready back in the day, but considering average driver is distracted and barely cares about putting other people's lives in danger, I don't even think it would be that much worse if it wasn't completely there xD

>>76439061
she's too cute though! aww be nice. Especially cat won't appreciate you being mean to his kind on the thread :<

>>76439334
>Hope you get at least of nice and chill today, good luck with that important call
thanks! Only a few minutes remain but posting here first lol
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hi again everyone, posting from my break at work. thank u to everyone who said welcome, ur all very nice <3

my coworker bought me chocolate when she went on her break so i am feeling okay for now. hope u all have the chance to eat something yummy today.

>>76437980
>why? is there a cause?
i don't know. i was doing really well for a while and then suddenly it all fell apart. all my structure kinda fell right out from under me.
>at least you get to see cute dogs, I guess
they're cute until they all start barking at once, but for the most part they're good
>have your tried healthier coping mechanisms? maybe you could do something like donate blood
honestly i would like to donate blood but it would be a pain bc they always have trouble finding my veins.
>Maybe instead of talking about a suicide plan you could tell your therapist that you sometimes have thought's about suicide or just very negative thoughs in general. If you don't tell her that you're planning to hurt yourself you won't go to a hospital
that's my plan, i have an appointment tomorrow. it's just a constant cycle of im doing "so great" for a while, then i'm suicidal again. it's been like this since i was a young teenager and it's just tiring.

>>76437980
>how long have u been feeling this way?
i've struggled with suicidal ideation since my early teens. my therapist says my "default mode" is not wanting to be here, which i feel is accurate. in the past, i usually had something to look forward to like a new game release that keeps me from actually attempting anything, but im not interested in anything right now which is making it really hard to want to stick around.
>if anything, u can post how you are feeling throughout the day right here
i think i will try just that, thanks <3
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>>76439844
>>76438280
>It sounds like when you're doing things during the day, you feel fine, but when you're sedentary and alone with your thoughts, it happens
yeah, if i'm distracted i feel fine, but as soon as i'm alone it comes back. it doesn't help that im having trouble finding any of my hobbies enjoyable right now. i can't focus on anything.
>i see why you have an easy time staying happy during the day, since sounds so fun lol
it has its perks lol. i prefer my weekday shifts to the weekend because on weekdays there's more general tasks for me to do instead of just interacting with customers. i like feeling useful.
>no need to be too harsh over this, certainly no a contest and less harm is better than worse.
<3
>You sound reasonably sound during day time hours, do you know why you're feeling so bad at night?
i just find it hard to distract myself. i used to be able to but now suddenly my brain refuses to focus on anything.
>Maybe you need a busier schedule to tire yourself out more so you have less time to sit with your thoughts.
trying my best to structure my day but i'm stuck at home most of the time. i don't live near any shopping centers or restaurants or coffee shops so it's not like i have another place to go that's a reasonable drive. glory of living in a rural/suburban area.
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>>76439551
>minis? whats dat?
miniatures, as in small toy soldiers you build and paint yourself.

>ive read the summary of the book and now im going to write about the characters. hopefully ill finish by 2 am and go to bed feeling tired.
that's probably the smartest way to go about it. don't let us distract you too much, though!

>>76439637
>I made some very poor choices in the past and really do value my interaction with all of you here more than a good chunk of people I've known
definitely the same for me. thank you for always being here and talking to everyone. the thread wouldn't be the same without you.

>might not even be the smart thing to do. See many cases of logical people doing something that doesn't take into consideration most people are not logical.
and then being dumbfounded when everyone turns against them. i guess the populist-movements all over the world are a good example for what you are describing.

>big pro is we don't even have that here. kind of annoying even in most cities here you kinda need a car to navigate around inside.
i want to say how insane that is, but public transportation is a huge issue here as well and sabotaged by politics and the car-industry.

>i remember they always talk about how they need to work through all the ethical issues and safety conditions before it would be really ready back in the day
it's obviously not ready yet, but the car my parents are driving already has some very interesting features, like adjusting the speed to the limit or in curves on it's own. i have to admit it's a bit spooky. ^^'

>considering average driver is distracted and barely cares about putting other people's lives in danger, I don't even think it would be that much worse if it wasn't completely there xD
maybe we should just switch to some sort of pod-based mobility system, where you just call a pod to your home, get in, set your destination and it delivers you on some sort of railway. or maybe drones.
>>
>>76439334
>or do you like doing nothing
Guess I've grown accustomed to it
>i see, are there any topics we shouldn't talk about?
Nah, anything's fine. Stuff never bothers me on here.
>tetanus
Think I got my shots but rust is just overall disgusting, thankfully the edges almost never rust.
>>76439364
>what's your reason?
Literally just too lazy to get up and walk over to my bedroom and sometimes I'm still up by the time my parents get up, for some reason I try to keep a low profile even if there's nothing to be afraid of. After that I just got used to it. I was also using it as a method to get up as soon as possible.
> even if it doesn't work out, you'll get some real closure and won't regret it later.
Yeah I made a few half assed attempts but nothing that was actually serious, and I think those attempts only made me come off further as a nuisance and sperg. I should've been more honest instead of trying to beat around the bush.
>>76439472
It's not terrible but still less then what I'd prefer. It's strange though, being depressed has always motivated me for some reason. I've kinda accepted that my life is fucked regardless because of a sound sensory disorder I had since I was 10, but lately I've been looking around and found that there might be a possible clear cut cause behind it.
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>>76439921
>miniatures, as in small toy soldiers you build and paint yourself.
ah, thats preddy nice. do u consider it as ur hobby?
>that's probably the smartest way to go about it. don't let us distract you too much, though!
its alright, i almost finished anyway, thank u
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>>76439373
Last time when I meet with them in a slightly stressful situation I spoke less than 20 or so words, possibly got small panic attack and burned myself a bit with coffee. This time it would be just hanging out in a home of one of them but still I don't feel like it, it's too much to bother for me and I'm getting paranoid that they hate me so it's not easy :<
>>76439413
Idk, I would be busy for a while but I don't want to just sit there wanting to die or trying not to panic or make a fool of myself. I just don't know what they think about me and I'm scared to ask, and even if I would did so my paranoia wouldn't allow me trust them. Also ew warhammer fan... I would like to try painting minis one day but it's too expensive :/
>>76439551
You know that people make that stuff from raw ingredients? It's easy and much cheaper than premade stuff. Also lasagna last for a while with how big I make it. As for the friends above applies.
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I don't know what's going on with me my mind is so fuzzy...
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>>76440075
>Last time when I meet with them in a slightly stressful situation I spoke less than 20 or so words, possibly got small panic attack and burned myself a bit with coffee.
oi, i feel u there bud :(
how long have u known these people? if theyre not exactly familiar friend group, i can see why it's stressful for u to be around them.
>You know that people make that stuff from raw ingredients? It's easy and much cheaper than premade stuff.
if u are talking about lasagna, i didnt. but its so good.. i wouldnt mind cooking it myself someday hehe
>>76440159
hey galaxy! what exactly happened? are u not feeling well physically or mentally?
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I'm back. It was horrible. But I'll go once again tomorrow with another friend. He gave me the idea of painting my arm so that I wouldn't have to wear long sleeves. That's what I'm gonna do.
It turns out my friends (at least this one) actually care about me.
Well, my endgame is to kiss a girl. Apparently it's easy during carnival. I had like two opportunities today but spoiled them. Not gonna make the same mistake tomorrow
>>76435071
>how long have you been having insomnia? have you tried taking sleeping pills?
It's recent. I've used melatonin before but it was useless
>alright, hava nice vidya session!
Thanks chroma, Idid
>>76435194
>I live in an area that's always been culturally diverse my whole life
Well, I live in a culturally diverse country. And this country stinks as much as its people (I unironically stink)
>required me to go in office, reconnected with friends from the past, and all around pushed myself to spend more time outside the house so I get used to people again.
That's nice. I too am trying to push myself out of my comfort zone. Hope I manage to do it right like you did =)
>I don't have any sense of group identity to any group
Well, I wouldn't be able to have one. I want, but I can't
>and i spent time in countries that have been on the receiving end of that power
Must have been quite an experience, ngl. But sometimes it must be nice to be the powerful one
>>76435209
>what are you playing anyway?
I was playing Dragon Quest 2 and DMC5
>>76435989
>might not be something your particular care for, but hope you have a nice time! and does sound like getting out more would do you some good!
It definitely was an necessary experience. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and I won't rest until I manage to kiss a girl
>>76436477
>Enjoy your day :D
Thanks /cat/. I didn't =(
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>>76440258
Physically I feel fine but, I'm not sure if it's mental or not but my head just feels like I'm constantly in disassociation mode...
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>>76438878
>sometimes you have to be one and force yourself into someones life, but i understand when you're not in the mental state to do that.
It turns out they care about me. I was just overthinking things
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>>76439964
>Literally just too lazy to get up and walk over to my bedroom and sometimes I'm still up by the time my parents get up, for some reason I try to keep a low profile even if there's nothing to be afraid of.
i see. i had times like that as well. try to make yourself as comfortable as possible. a little bit of selfcare goes a long way sometimes.

>I should've been more honest instead of trying to beat around the bush.
maybe it's not too late for that, but i know being more honest is more easily said than done. take your time. and of course you've got us now. make of that what you will. ^^

>>76439991
>do u consider it as ur hobby?
yeah, but at this point i'm mostly doing it because my friends want to do it.

>its alright, i almost finished anyway, thank u
well done! :D

>>76440075
>I would be busy for a while but I don't want to just sit there wanting to die or trying not to panic or make a fool of myself. I just don't know what they think about me and I'm scared to ask, and even if I would did so my paranoia wouldn't allow me trust them.
hm. seems to be pretty hard for you to be around them at the moment. if you'd be comfortable around them, even when you don't interact with them a lot, i'd say you should go, but you shouldn't if you had to force yourself. maybe talkinh with them about your insecurities would help?

>Also ew warhammer fan... I would like to try painting minis one day but it's too expensive :/
games workshop has some nice stuff, but there's other companies as well, like mantic. the sculpts and designs aren't as nice, but they're a lot cheaper. gw also has smaller systems, like warhammer underworlds, warcry, necromunda and kill team, so you don't need as much miniatures to play a game. they just released "the old world", so my friends and i have been dusting off our decade old stuff... ^^ if you have any questions or need any advice, you can always ask me. i love to talk about that stuff. what army did you have in mind?
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>>76440420
>It's recent. I've used melatonin before but it was useless
i hope u get your sleeping schedule back on track.
please, dont let this go on for too long !

>>76440432
try to distract urself, if u can get out for a walk right now, its better to do so.
ive experienced this before, u might start feeling much worse than right now if u just lie there staring at the same spot, so u should go get some fresh air.
i dont know how much my advice will help u, all people experience dissociation differently, but i suggest u to do what i did before
i hope u will feel better <3

>>76440557
>yeah, but at this point i'm mostly doing it because my friends want to do it.
its gud that u have your own interest in it too, im glad!
>well done! :D
oi thanke u :w:
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>>76440159
heya gal!

>I don't know what's going on with me my mind is so fuzzy...
i felt like that a few days ago. hard to tell what's the reason sometimes. just take it slow today.

>>76440420
>I'm back. It was horrible. But I'll go once again tomorrow with another friend.
even the worst things can be enjoyable with a good friend. ^^

>Well, my endgame is to kiss a girl. Apparently it's easy during carnival. I had like two opportunities today but spoiled them. Not gonna make the same mistake tomorrow
good luck. :>

>It turns out they care about me. I was just overthinking things
it happens. that's why i'm always in favor of getting these thoughts out of your head. be it here or talking with someone. as soon as you utter them they shrink right back down to size.

>>76440601
>its gud that u have your own interest in it too, im glad!
yeah. it can be frustrating at times, but it can be a lot of fun as well.

>oi thanke u :w:
you did the work. i'm just praising you for it. ^^
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>>76440258
I just mean that the situation we meet in was stressful for me. I knew them for many years and idk if it's depression or we just changed but I don't really care about meeting them anymore.

>>76440557
I was thinking about just saying that I may show up or not and I'm not sure myself or come up with some other bullshit. The most likely outcome is me rotting in bed and staying home.
As for minies I just wanted to try paint them. I don't care about the game itself with how scammy GW is. I was thinking about skink caster from fantasy or skavens because 40k factions just suck for me
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>>76436942
>How are you doing today?
I was doing good then I cut myself because I started worrying about something that didn't even matter half an hour later
at least I don't cut too deep
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>>76439563
>it would be nice to get in first grade again for a day
it would be relaxing, sure. But Idk i would enjoy the kinds of things they make 1st graders do at school aha
>are u learning how to cook meals, or do u already have lots of experience?
I used to do it a bit, but never too fancy. Trying to experiment with different things. Finding it a lot of fun though.
>i expected something bad honestly
being a software engineer outside of big tech companies is actually pretty relaxing and always a little more relaxed with tech workers so they don't risk losing them.
> u dont have to learn it anymore if u dont want to
still tell myself i might someday, but will see. might be another foreign language i need to prioritize.
>how do you manage to do everything in just one day?
it's rough, but not as bad as it sounds. I just don't waste time on things I don't think are worth it and can multitask pretty well
>i hope u have enough time to sleep
more than enough since it's one thing i won't slack on

>>76439844
>my coworker bought me chocolate when she went on her break so i am feeling okay for now
that's very nice of her aw
>hope u all have the chance to eat something yummy today
i ate ice cream during break, so i did
> as soon as i'm alone it comes back
do you know why? What are the thoughts even saying? It sounds like you have enough positive things going on, maybe you just need to focus on the fact the alone time won't last and will be back to normal in no time
> interacting with customers.
that's unpleasant for most people, no reason to doubt yourself over that
>suddenly my brain refuses to focus on anything.
anything change to lead to this? Or just started happening?
> glory of living in a rural/suburban area.
tell me about it :/ my favorite places to go are all 30 minutes on the highway away
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>>76440601
>please, dont let this go on for too long !
I'll try
>>76440702
>even the worst things can be enjoyable with a good friend. ^^
That's true
>good luck. :>
Thanks, I'm gonna need it
>it happens. that's why i'm always in favor of getting these thoughts out of your head. be it here or talking with someone. as soon as you utter them they shrink right back down to size.
I think the solution for me might be to stop being a basement dweller and go out once in a while, like I did today and like I'll do tomorrow

I'm going to bed now. I'm tired. 'night guys
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>>76440702
>you did the work. i'm just praising you for it. ^^
im not usually getting praised on what im obligated to do D:
thats why im thanking u lole

>>76440713
>I just mean that the situation we meet in was stressful for me. I knew them for many years and idk if it's depression or we just changed but I don't really care about meeting them anymore.
aw, i wish i had anything to say about it :(
cant really relate bcuz i never had a long lasting friendships >.>

>>76440799
im sorry to hear that :(
make sure u disinfect the wound properly !

>>76440812
>it would be relaxing, sure. But Idk i would enjoy the kinds of things they make 1st graders do at school aha
man, what do they even teach 1st graders nowadays?
>I used to do it a bit, but never too fancy. Trying to experiment with different things. Finding it a lot of fun though.
thats nice to know u are enjoying the process! have u ever tried to cook for someone?
>being a software engineer outside of big tech companies is actually pretty relaxing and always a little more relaxed with tech workers so they don't risk losing them.
how much would u rate the difficulty of your job? ive been thinking before about becoming a software engineer, but right now i have nothing in mind and absolutely zero idea what im gonna do in the future ;w;
>it's rough, but not as bad as it sounds. I just don't waste time on things I don't think are worth it and can multitask pretty well
mane.. i wish i had ur ability to manage time properly...
>more than enough since it's one thing i won't slack on
glad to hear that bud :D

>>76440889
good night, sweeto dreams
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>>76440713
>I was thinking about just saying that I may show up or not and I'm not sure myself or come up with some other bullshit. The most likely outcome is me rotting in bed and staying home.
just tell them you don't know yet and see how you feel about it then. there's still a whole week to make up your mind. whatever you decide, make sure to tell us all about it. ^^

>I just wanted to try paint them. I don't care about the game itself with how scammy GW is.
that they are. ^^ if you ever change your mind about playing, check out onepagerules. it's minature-agnostic systems and you can use gw stuff just fine. way faster and way more fun, too. ^^

>I was thinking about skink caster from fantasy or skavens because 40k factions just suck for me
i see, i see. so more on the fantasy-side of things. just got skittershank's clawpack not too long ago and they're pretty awesome. the new lizardmen-stuff was also quite good... decisions, decisions... ^^ is there a painting style you prefer? like super vibrant or dark and gritty?

>>76440889
>I'm going to bed now. I'm tired. 'night guys
good night. sleep tight. ^^

>>76440917
>im not usually getting praised on what im obligated to do D:
well, better get used to it then. there's a lot more where that's coming from! :>
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>>76439921
> the thread wouldn't be the same without you.
nor would it be without you, so thank you as well
> then being dumbfounded when everyone turns against them. i
politics aside (though it is a true and good point ha) I see it a lot in my field too. Lots of software engineers are very logic first people. Always made me feel a bit insecure because I'm not, but many of these people do not do as well because they rub people around them the wrong way, where as people like me who pay more attention to emotions and mood have an interesting advantage a lot really exceptionally gifted devs do not.
>sabotaged by politics and the car-industry
guess you are a very heavy into cars nations as well, so i can see it. My traveling in Europe (which was very limited mind you), was amazed by there being any transportation by trains/subway at all. To me that's something in NYC and DC, and no where else here.
> i have to admit it's a bit spooky.
i'd say i wouldn't like these things because i trust myself more than the technology, but i'm sure a lot of people say that about a lot of things and are not always trustworthy at all xD
>maybe we should just switch to some sort of pod-based mobility system
i mean, this would be perfect if you could pull it off, but we can't even pull off regulars trains here so...
>maybe drones.
this sounds very amusing lol

>>76439964
> I've kinda accepted that my life is fucked
not necessarily the case. Only time it really is if you're literally on the verge of death or given up completely, so try not to be too hard.
>possible clear cut cause behind it.
what was that?

>>76440159
hey galaxy. Hope you're okay and sorry to hear it. hang in there, hopefully passes
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>>76440420
> It was horrible.
you tried, that's what matters
>Well, my endgame is to kiss a girl. Apparently it's easy during carnival. I had like two opportunities today but spoiled them.
what's it even like there? it's weird, i've kissed girls plenty of times now, but never spontaneously at something like this. Must take more bravery than i have but i also don't know the mood is like
>And this country stinks as much as its people (I unironically stink)
there are things you can do to stink less... lol jk seriously though go a little easier on yourself
>Hope I manage to do it right like you did
just put some effort in and you'll definitely be happier with whatever happens. Hang in there and do your best friend.
>I want, but I can't
well you can belong to our group here! Not the same of course, but this honestly one of the few places I actually do feel a sense of belonging.
>Must have been quite an experience, ngl.
I've done a lot of traveling and probably do more. Hard to be too nationalistic when you enjoyed your time away from home than you did at home I suppose.
>must be nice to be the powerful one
i admit it gives benefits, and i appreciate that from a practical perspective, but also doesn't make things always worthy of respecting
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>>76440932
>well, better get used to it then. there's a lot more where that's coming from! :>
how odd getting praised from someone who uses the same thread as i do and not from my parents instead hehe
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>>76440601
I'm at work right now but I'll be leaving soon so I'll have the chance for some fresh air here in a few.
>>76440702
I have been taking it slow especially when my thighs hurt from working out

>>76441000
I'm sure it'll pass eventually. Nice trips by the way
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>>76441261
>I'm at work right now but I'll be leaving soon so I'll have the chance for some fresh air here in a few.
alright, good to know

finished with my assignment
good night, /cut/
have a sweeto dreams or whatever u decide to dream about ^^
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>>76440889
goodnight, hope tomorrow proves better for you

>>76440917
>what do they even teach 1st graders nowadays?
i can't even imagine. I went to catholic school, so probably much different from experience lol
>have u ever tried to cook for someone?
no, my ex i mention most would always cook for me, but never did for her which kind of feel bad about. maybe for someone one day for now i have time to get better ha (already think i'm decent)
>how much would u rate the difficulty of your job?
really not sure how to rate it. I learned programming very easily, but i always did a full undergrad degree. Not everyone finds it as easy and not everyone wants to do a full computer science degree. Also you have to be willing to keep learning, but I like that. As long as you find somewhere relaxed and it's not always crunch time, things are fine.
>i wish i had ur ability to manage time properly.
just need to learn what to focus on, what to cut out :>
>>
i lost track of time and really need to go to bed now. i'll reply to your posts tomorrow, everyone! good night!
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>>76440917
That may be even worst than my situation desu. Hope it will change for you
>>76440932
>make sure to tell us all about it. ^^
Nice try glowy
And I don't care much about age of sigmar I meant old warhammer fantasy. I just like skinks and caster one looks the best and like crazy gun plage rats. And idk never painted minis I guess it would depend on mini
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>>76441290
Good night see yous!
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home from work, settling in for the night. tomorrow it's supposed to snow all day so i'm planning on sleeping in.

>>76440812
>What are the thoughts even saying?
general themes are "you're a failure", "there's something irreparably wrong with you because you don't care about other people", "the people who like you only like a fake version of you, they'd hate the real you" "you'll never find irl friends let alone a romantic partner" etc. etc.
>It sounds like you have enough positive things going on, maybe you just need to focus on the fact the alone time won't last and will be back to normal in no time
i've been trying but being around my family means i have to shove my interests to the side because they don't care about them, which makes me resentful. it's not that i don't care about their interests, just that i wish they would show more interest in mine even if it's just to make me happy. i don't have irl friends to hang out with at all, and online friends are fine but they don't substitute well for the real thing.
>>
>How are you doing today?
Ok I guess. Feeling shameful and regretful of the way I behaved before I got clean

>Any plans for today?
It's just been another boring isolated day of discord calls

>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
~13 days ago

>Why did you hurt yourself?
To take my emotions out on myself

>Is there anything bothering you right now?
I just hope I can live everything down. I went full blown schizophrenic last time I was on crystal. I hope people will see that I'm trying.
>>
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>>76436942
>How are you doing today?
i've been better. last time i was on one of these threads was just the beginning, everything's just gotten worse, especially my self harming tendencies

>Any plans for today?
i might read some old VNs, maybe play some touhou, guilty gear xx, whatever

>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
earlier today after school, i ended up cutting a lot in a dark music practice room after hours and later on i only cut myself more in bed

>Why did you hurt yourself?
i had a headache and self-harming generally helps with them, especially when they're stress induced. i know it'll only cause me nerve damage but i couldn't possibly stop myself at this point. i didn't eat anything in the morning

>Is there anything bothering you right now?
some of my friends have been growing more and more concerned for me about my dissociation and general depressed mood i've been in since the start of the year, i feel like since a tough breakup i've been empty constantly and nothing is ever going to get better. at least hugging my sharkie helps a bit with deterring the shitty thoughts.
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Sorry I haven't been so active. I had to study for an important exam,

Today several Christian protesters who are part of a group called Jesus Hates showed up at my campus, then, an astoundingly large amount of circumcision protesters showed up. The two groups began fighting, I think because they were drowning out each other with megaphones. It was the funniest shit I've seen in a while.
>>
hey, it's been a month or so since i've posted here but i'm still alive.

>>76436942
>How are you doing today?
the usual
>Any plans for today?
nope. nothing happened and nothing else is likely to happen
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
two or three days ago
>Why did you hurt yourself?
bad day
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
the 14th is coming up
>>
hugs <3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yafLFTOcV5A
>>
bump, almost at page 9
>>
good morning, /cut/
i hope u had a good sleep! how are u planning on spending Tuesday?
i accidentally overslept -_-
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>>76441304
>i can't even imagine. I went to catholic school, so probably much different from experience lol
i cant imagine what they teach them there either lole
>no, my ex i mention most would always cook for me, but never did for her which kind of feel bad about.
its alright, u werent obligated to cook for her anyway hehe
>Not everyone finds it as easy and not everyone wants to do a full computer science degree. Also you have to be willing to keep learning, but I like that.
yeah, that might be a problem for me ;-;
>just need to learn what to focus on, what to cut out :>
logically, the day starts in the morning, and if u dont get up on schedule, youre already having a messed up and a bad day >.>

>>76441556
>That may be even worst than my situation desu. Hope it will change for you
its alright, dont worry. i hope everything goes well for u in that regard.

>>76442623
>I went full blown schizophrenic last time I was on crystal. I hope people will see that I'm trying.
does it affect u in any way? are u sure its a good idea for u to take drugs?

>>76442827
>earlier today after school, i ended up cutting a lot in a dark music practice room after hours and later on i only cut myself more in bed
im sorry it happened, that doesnt sound nice at all :c
i hope u got ur wound treated. how are u feeling now?
>>
>>76444698
I decided to stay clean a few months ago when I got out of jail. I just hope I can get some kind of social forgiveness from how insane I was acting back then
>>
>>76445002
why did u got in jail? its alright if u dont wanna talk about it, i completely understand. i just need some more context on your situation
>>
>>76442423
>supposed to snow all day
I thankfully missed the snow. Here im just getting rain all day since its a bit too warm
>you dont care about other people
Do you not care about other people? If so, why would you want people around? I dont think these things would both be completely true, since most people who dont care at all wouldnt value friendship or others at all like you sound like you do. I think if you think critically about these thoughts you can see they are misguided, even if its hard to do in the moment.
>which makes me resentful
I would say thats normal. No one likes having to keep quiet about what they like all the time and focus only on what other people like and want
>have irl friends to hang out with at all
What are your interests anyway? Some are easier than others to make friends with I know. And are you just working or have school or anything?

>>76442623
Hey owl. Dont feel ashamed of things you couldnt control. It happens and as long as you try your best to stay clean and not repeat past, i think thats pretty good and worth being proud of

>>76442827
Hi kioka
>i had a headache
That is very different reason than what I have read before. I guess in some way the relief it gives from the moods you get into for some people can be comparable to this.
>stress induced
Do you have any other means of de stressing? Or this your main go to?
>growing more and more concerned for me about my dissociation and general depressed mood
So you have been talking to others about how you feel? Has that helped or not so much you feel?
>nothing is ever going to get better
Breakups are tough but if you are still in school you are young enough to still have plenty of chances left, so while it is hard, dont try to feel too hopeless about that type of thing. Hope you get through this, just hang in there
>>
>>76445124
I was really high and someone I shouldn't have been associating with anyway was trying to steal my car. In the end I swatted myself in my confusion basically. The official charge was disturbing the peace I was let off with 3 days and 3 days community service
>>
>>76443607
Its okay. Is the exam over? Hope it went well.
>funniest shit
lol yeah campuses can be really crazy sometimes but this is more amusing than anything I ever got to see at mine

>>76443725
Hey w! Good to see you again
>bad day
Sorry hope you are feeling a little better now if even a little
>14th is coming up
Meh im spending it alone too but I dont even see it as a big deal. I guess used to a little but its another scam from corporate America to generate consumerism based on a certain category of products this time of year. Not even coping but tell yourself that and you realize its a little silly. Also overlaps with Ash Wednesday this year, which I find interesting as someone who used to be from a catholic household

>>76444597
Hey chroma
Today I will workout then drive to my office. Very rainy so not looking forward to it. How about you?
>u werent obligated to cook
I know. But if we only do things we are obligated to do no one would ever do anything nice for anyone xD
>that might be a problem for me
I would say its less like having to study like school, more keep an open mind to new patterns and techs that you might need to read on a fair bit. Not for everyone still.
>youre already having a messed up and a bad day
Most important thing about having a schedule I learned was being able to be flexible if you miss part rather than being disappointed. That was true when traveling especially, but can be applied to daily life as well
>>
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>>76445303
i can assume it had a big impact on the way people started treating you. has anyone you know been supportive or listened to u after u got out?

>>76445351
>Today I will workout then drive to my office.
oi, good for u. hope youll have a nice day!
>How about you?
ah, same usual routine of studying, studying, and studying !
feeling really tired, sleeping in between for 20 minutes or so >.>
>But if we only do things we are obligated to do no one would ever do anything nice for anyone xD
ok, u have a good point here
>more keep an open mind to new patterns and techs that you might need to read on a fair bit. Not for everyone still.
most schools teach u things u don't really need for your future career. if there were any special classes about what to major in, i would love to attend them. although they exist, but they all suck and only available for those who go to school instead of online studying
right now im adrift without knowing what im interested in >.>
>being able to be flexible if you miss part rather than being disappointed.
that may work until you get up at 4 pm and realize you overslept quite everything lole
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good meowrning everybody
sorry for disappearing yesterday but my power went out so I decided to go to sleep earlier
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no office today actually. Supposed to snow, so i'm staying in and working from home

>>76445460
>hope youll have a nice day!
change of plans, but still should. I just hate staying home. Like being around other people
>same usual routine of studying, studying, and studying
well best of luck with that. Outside of studying and posting here, what do you end up doing with the rest of your day anyway?
> if there were any special classes about what to major in, i would love to attend them.
that's the strange part with education. They tell you that you should figure that sort of thing out yourself, but nothing prior to it in anyway encourages independent thinking, so it is difficult. Often times, they say study what you're interested in, but most people aren't interested in things you can make a career out of. Uni is so expensive in the states, it's highly in the interest of students to prioritize money over all
>right now im adrift without knowing what im interested in
is there anything at all you might be interested in? Maybe need to look at a lot of different things to narrow down. There's tests online to try to help you pick what you might like based on personality as well.
>until you get up at 4 pm
as someone who gets up at 4am, i would die of a heart attack if i overslept so much

>>76445735
meowning cat xD
no worries. Hope power is more stable now. We're getting heavy storms in the eastern half the states right now so maybe i could lose today.
Either way, hope you're having a nice day
>>
>>76445735
good morning /cat/, i hope youre doing alright !

>>76445809
>change of plans, but still should. I just hate staying home. Like being around other people
i can tell why hehe
sometimes its ok to stay at home, especially during bad weather ^^
>well best of luck with that.
thank u
>Outside of studying and posting here, what do you end up doing with the rest of your day anyway?
well..... not that i have much to do.. but like i said before, i go out to the forest on the weekends.
after my classes, i usually sit at home and do whatever i can get my hands on. i dont have any upcoming plans, no one ever asks me to go on a walk with them (not like i have anyone to ask me lole), so i mostly sit in my room and do whatever.
yeah, im ashamed, but i cant help it >.>
>They tell you that you should figure that sort of thing out yourself, but nothing prior to it in anyway encourages independent thinking, so it is difficult.
thats the odd point!!! its like being thrown into the open ocean and people watching me trying to swim out of it!!!
>Uni is so expensive in the states, it's highly in the interest of students to prioritize money over all
how much did it cost u to study in university? was it worth it?
>is there anything at all you might be interested in? Maybe need to look at a lot of different things to narrow down
not sure at all. sometimes drawing, sometimes programming, but im not trying to get into a professional level and make this my career.
i was also thinking about becoming a pastry chef, but i quickly gave up on that idea :/
>as someone who gets up at 4am, i would die of a heart attack if i overslept so much
O_O
i guess im starting to realize how you get everything done in a single day. what time do u leave for work?
>>
how do yall recover from a failed relationship? i only wish her well and hope shes doing ok
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>>76445887
>especially during bad weather
agreed. I don't like feeling stuck at home though. Too quiet, too isolating. Just not good for my mental state.
> i go out to the forest on the weekends.
that sounds very nice. I like hiking a lot. Have a lot of forests and parks not from where i live and did some traveling in the US to go to different forests, parks, etc.
> im ashamed, but i cant help it
nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes it's really hard to figure out what to do with your time without other people to do stuff with and not everyone has a super constructive hobby that they put all their time to. Just keep an open mind to new things if chances arise.
>being thrown into the open ocean and people watching me trying to swim out of it
in a lot of ways, people have too many options now. It's good in some way, but bad in others since it's hard to really know what we're meant to do.
>how much did it cost u to study in university?
i took an extra year to graduate since first year i almost failed out by being depressed and lazy. Between the fact i commuted, went to an instate school, and got scholarships, I went 50k in debt by the end of it. Mostly paid off now. Some kids will spend that a year if they go to a school out of state and live in a dorm. Some people end up debt slaves forever because of college, but i made off okay
>was it worth it?
i hated college life and was a depressed loner most of my time there, so i'm a bit bitter about it honestly. I don't know if anything I learned was useful compared to what I self studied, but many companies won't hire without the fancy piece of paper they give you at the end for putting up with academia's bs long enough.
>but im not trying to get into a professional level and make this my career.
just not interesting enough or other reasons?
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>>76445887
> pastry chef, but i quickly gave up on that idea
that's pretty cool but also sounds like it would be hard to make it in. Sometimes you have to find something you like enough, but can make money with, rather than do what you're most into. Bit of a balancing act there.
>i guess im starting to realize how you get everything done in a single day. what time do u leave for work?
aha still wish there were more hours. When I go in office, usually about 5:30. Actually get up at 3:30 those days so i have enough time for the workout

>>76445915
hi anon. It depends what you mean recover. I think for me it's not thinking about it. Trying to focus on new people and the future. I think your mindset is a good one to have though.
>>
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I managed to sleep well, insomnia didn't got to me last night :D
Maybe it was because I was tired
>>76440917
>>76440932
>>76441304
>good night, sweeto dreams
>good night. sleep tight. ^^
>goodnight, hope tomorrow proves better for you
Thanks you all, I did sleep well
>>76441087
>what's it even like there? it's weird, i've kissed girls plenty of times now, but never spontaneously at something like this. Must take more bravery than i have but i also don't know the mood is like
A lot of people go there wanting to kiss other people, so it's an excellent opportunity for someone like me, who's never kissed a girl before. It's like a big party
>there are things you can do to stink less... lol jk seriously though go a little easier on yourself
It's not my mind playing tricks on me this time, I do stink. Guess I should take more showers
>Hang in there and do your best friend.
Thanks, I will
>well you can belong to our group here! Not the same of course, but this honestly one of the few places I actually do feel a sense of belonging.
That's so nice. This is definitely a great place to be
>I've done a lot of traveling and probably do more. Hard to be too nationalistic when you enjoyed your time away from home than you did at home I suppose.
I've traveled abroad just once and it was to another south american country. Really don't have the travel experience like you do
>i admit it gives benefits, and i appreciate that from a practical perspective, but also doesn't make things always worthy of respecting
I get it. But seeing how there's people who take pride in that, it's easy to feel inferior knowing that they are boasting about something factual
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>>76445809
>Supposed to snow,
hope you can take it easy today, though I know you prefer being in an office
It's funny hearing about snoe when hete it's 15C
>Either way, hope you're having a nice day
Thank you ^^

>>76445887
Good morning
>hope youre doing alright !
thanks :>
I hope you don't good too
How's that reading and characterization going?

>>76445915
Hi anon
>recover from a failed relationship
I think you should just try to be okay with not feeling well at the moment and give yourself time to recover

>>76446325
Hay Sakamoto
>managed to sleep well,
yayy :D
>Maybe it was because I was tired
yeah that usually helps with sleep lol
Maybe you should do some exercises before bed to get yourself a little more tired
>>
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Mornings everyone!
How are you guys today?
I actually got some sleep last night so I feel okay this morning
>>
>>76436942
>how are you doing today?
feeling empty
>any plans for today?
i gotta cleannn
>when was the last time you hurt yourself?
i think two days ago - i quit my job recently and am a neet again for a bit so time's blending together a lot
>why did you hurt yourself?
its silly but i dont remember specifically what pushed me to. i remember the aftercare but thats about it
>is there anything bothering you right now?
just looking at this thread theres people in school, with jobs, with talents and interests, and i dont have that. but its not like i have it worse than anyone, i dont have real problems, so... whats with my pity party. i dont know how im going to live the rest of my life. and im worried im a bad partner i guess. i think i was really negative and stuff but ive never posted here and it made me really happy to find this thread, you're all really nice to each other
>>
>>76436942
2nd time here i think
>How are you doing today?
kinda good, brainrot on youtube and here all day though

>Any plans for today?
i need to finish my final paper for a class

>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
october, so a few months now

>Why did you hurt yourself?
i was being emotional, friend group was being torn apart and i didn't know who to trust and who was lying. then someone with my porn got my dox over discord. i definantly was part of the problem that caused it though
idk, but probably wont hit a low that hard for a while i hope

>Is there anything bothering you right now?
i cant function outside of the hikineet stuff ive been doing on repeat. need to get out of this. urges are coming back too, but am triggering myself along those lines on depression/selfpity bienges
am kinda worried am being selfish or nonginune in the way i wrote this. just dont trust me lol idfk
>>
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You know it is funny that young retards such as yourselves will cut scars into your body only to regret it just like every single old retard that did has ever done the same. Yet, we will allow retarded young people to cut their dicks off and take titty pills.

Madness
>>
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>>76446162
>I don't like feeling stuck at home though. Too quiet, too isolating. Just not good for my mental state.
thats understandable, youre not used to stay at home for a long time without doing anything hehe
>Have a lot of forests and parks not from where i live and did some traveling in the US to go to different forests, parks, etc.
when was the last time u were hiking? i hope it was a good experience!
>Just keep an open mind to new things if chances arise.
on one hand, im happy with everything so far, but at the same time i wouldnt mind doing something else.
>in a lot of ways, people have too many options now.
theres a freedom of choice, but is that choice present? so far, i dont see it >.>
>Between the fact i commuted, went to an instate school, and got scholarships, I went 50k in debt by the end of it. Mostly paid off now.
thats alot :0
im glad u almost finished with paying it. do u save a little from your paycheck to pay off the debt for uni?
>don't know if anything I learned was useful compared to what I self studied, but many companies won't hire without the fancy piece of paper they give you at the end for putting up with academia's bs long enough.
i think most companies wont consider ur abilities until u prove to them that u actually went to university/college, so thats pretty fair in most of the points, but still a little bit bullshit hehe
>just not interesting enough or other reasons?
i think right now im more interested in taking care of myself mentally, and studying, of course.
i need to start talking to people irl because i realize im gonna have a hard time in life without it >->

>>76446174
>Sometimes you have to find something you like enough, but can make money with, rather than do what you're most into. Bit of a balancing act there.
yeah,i believe the best situation is when u combine business with ur own pleasure of doing work :D
>Actually get up at 3:30 those days so i have enough time for the workout
damn... what time do u usually go to bed?
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>>76446325
>I managed to sleep well
nice!
hava good day, sakamoto

>>76446455
>I hope you don't good too
:( tahts preddy rude of u, /cat/!
just kidding, i hope it was autocorrect lole
>How's that reading and characterization going?
i finished it at night, but the results won't be in soon. im not really worried about it honestly
what are ur plans for today?

>>76446729
D:
what made u do that?
please make sure to treat fresh scars correctly anon
>>
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>>76446581
Good morning Gal :]
>How are you guys today?
pretty good though I'm split between if I should or shouldn't study today
>actually got some sleep
that's great to hear :D
Sakamoto also got some good sleep last night
maybe there was something special about it, who knows

>>76446613
Hey anon
>feeling empty
do you often feel like that? does it go away on each own eventually?
>gotta cleannn
whatcha gotta clean?
put on some nice music and try to enjoy yourself :>
>quit my job recently
what happened?
>silly but i dont remember specifically
that's okay, whatever it was, I hope it doesn't come back
>with jobs, with talents and interests, and i dont have that
don't worry anon you're not alone, I'm like that too, sorta, I do have some hobbies
Do you have hobbies?
>im worried im a bad partner
what makes you think that?
>never posted here and it made me really happy to find this thread
it's nice to meet you anon^^

>>76446650
Hello yoonbum
>brainrot on youtube and here all day though
me too
>need to finish my final paper for a class
I haate those things
what is it about?
maybe you could use AI to help yourself a break?
>few months now
that almost 4 months! that's 1/3 of a year
good work!! :D
>was being emotional...
a lot of things happen at once, that's okay, don't feel guilty for cutting, it's not a good habbit but sometimes life just gets too much too handle
>need to get out of this.
hope you succeed, do you have any plans how to get out there?
>worried am being selfish or nonginune in the way i wrote this.
you're alright anon, don't worry

>>76446729
Hey anon
Please make to you clean your arm up with just clean water and patch yourself up very well
You don't need any infections, I'm guessing you're doing bad enough as is
What made you hurt yourself? I hope your day gets better

and btw for the future, if you gonna post gruesome pics pls spoiler them
>>
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>>76446774
>:( tahts preddy rude of u, /cat/!
noooo thats not what I meanttt D;
yes it was autocorrect, sorry, I have dyslexia so it's very difficult for me so spot spelling errors
>finished it at night
good job :D
>what are ur plans for today?
prolly nothing
but maybe I'll go to the garage in a sec and work on bikes :>
>>
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>>76446774
>what made u do that?
>>76446787
>What made you hurt yourself?

>>76446729
OH MA GAH D:
I think I see the culprit!
was it math!??
the work of the devil!!??
Math sucks I hate it too anon, I failed my math classes last year,
Stay strong anon, it's going to be okay
you're safe from math here
>>
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we are so back boys, i am still alive
>>
>>76446787
i think i'm going to do it some day finally
>>
>>76446787
>do you often feel like that? does it go away on each own eventually?
a lot of the time. i distract myself as much as possible
>whatcha gotta clean?
my room, and laundry and dishes but that stuffs easier. ill put on music and do my best ty :)
>what happened?
i worked in a kitchen, but im autistic and the noise and all the people wore me down after a year. i've never really had a dream job but being an archivist sounds really nice. theres not a ton of demand tho i think and i'd have to get a degree
>that's okay, whatever it was, I hope it doesn't come back
thank you :)
>Do you have hobbies?
idk if card games and video games count. I draw sometimes, not enough tho. I read, mostly manga lately. what are yours?
>what makes you think that?
im worried i wont have done enough for valentine's day, and in general im not sure i know how to be in a real relationship. its going well tho?
>it's nice to meet you anon^^
nice to meet you too :>
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>>76446787
>if I should study or not
It's up to you.
>there might be something special about it
Not sure I just got into bed early last night so that's all
>>
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someday i am going to do it
>>
>>76447002
Well we're here for you either way :3
>>
>>76441000
>given up completely
Kinda have already, parents are starting to threaten me with a group home/assisted living or whatever the fuck you call it. It's a little scary but I know they won't follow through for some time, I've also gotten exceptionally skilled at just barely weaseling my way out of bizarre situations over time.
>what was that?
Lately I've been looking into the idea that certain infections can cause mental illnesses that spontaneously develop in children and sometimes adults, so far it looks pretty interesting and some of my symptoms along with the speed at which they appeared lines up somewhat. I was mostly normal throughout my life until I hit 10 and within about 2 days I developed the aforementioned sound sensitivity problems along with extreme panic attacks and started having trouble with thinking later on in the same year, few months later I developed chron's and years down the road OCD and other problems started to pop up.
>>
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>>76446650
>>76446787
What youtube slop do you guys watch? I've been looking for stuff to distract myself lately that I don't really have to focus on that much.
>>76446969
Were there any specific sounds that bothered you, or was it just the general overload of things being slammed all over the place and the chaos you gotta deal with?
>>
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>>76446325
>I managed to sleep well
that's good to hear! I actually had trouble sleeping for the first time in a while, but I'll survive and can't complain considering how rough you had it lately
>so it's an excellent opportunity for someone like me
this may sound cliche and i understand the desire to do this (i spent most my time in uni years frustrated over girls and never kissed or did anything till after), but it isn't the end of the world at your point in life and it's better to do it in a way you'll be happy with, than a circumstance you may not be happy about or even regret after, so don't feel like you need to make it work just because
> Guess I should take more showers
showers are unironically great mood booster too :> i can't imagine going a day without one and usually do 2 just because
>This is definitely a great place to be
still amazed i've been here as long as I have and still talking to the same people from day one for me a lot of the time
>it was to another south american country.
still counts. Travel shouldn't be a contest and i get annoyed by people who act like it is. Even domestic travel can be exciting and fun. I know I'm from the USA so it's really true for us, but other countries have lots of places to go and see to within borders

>>76446455
>It's funny hearing about snoe when hete it's 15C
so jealous D: Wish i could have your weather right now. Hate winter so much.
>Thank you
how's it going anyway? What are you up to now?

>>76446581
hey galaxy! Glad you slept well and feeling better. Sounded concerning yesterday but all have times like that
>>
>>76447199
just general overload, but i felt like i was putting everything into trying to appear normal at work and outside of that i was constantly about to crack. also it was a pretty small space, and in hindsight i dont miss being pressed against people all the time lol
>>
>>76446613
hey there friend! Good to see you.
> people in school, with jobs, with talents and interests, and i dont have that.
i'm sure you have something! Don't be too hard on yourself. What do you do with your time lately?
> i dont have real problems
don't say that either. Everyone has something. I have less right to be here than almost anyone, yet I still am and complain, despite knowing I have a lot of things even "normal" people are jealous of. Not a contest to see who's truly the worst and what you feel is valid even if someone does have it worse.
Go easy on yourself, and we're here to talk if you need.

>>76446650
hi anon
>i need to finish my final paper for a class
good luck, what's the class? Maybe focus on that before taking too much time on the other things aha
>i cant function outside of the hikineet stuff ive been doing on repeat. need to get out of this.
glad you've been clean so long. you're in school though, so you're not truly a neet and have potential to get out of things, so just hang in there and try to stay motivated with what you're working on.

>>76446766
> youre not used to stay at home for a long time without doing anything
i worry i'll relapse into being uncomfortable going out again if i stay in too much. It took a while after covid to get better, so really don't want to repeat.
>when was the last time u were hiking?
quite a while. Winter is just unpleasant here. Went out to a park along the water about a month ago and wasn't really enjoyable, so trying to hold out for spring
> but is that choice present?
depends what you mean I suppose. Guess there's also a big difference between easy and hard choices, since you go in many directions in life but not guarantee it will be successful, so we gravitate to the safer ones without considering riskier ones
>do u save a little from your paycheck to pay off the debt for uni?
Software engineers make really good money, so i have for that and more, so not even worried.
>>
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>>76446766
>most companies wont consider ur abilities until u prove to them that u actually went to university/college
Some managers in tech don't care as much, but the problem is HR and recruiters do. They really don't get it usually and don't know what else to look at. It's the weird thing with tech and why so many useless people get hired and so many talented people can struggle.
>i need to start talking to people irl because i realize im gonna have a hard time in life without it
that's true and hope you can make progress. Sometimes thinking about you want to can help you improve mentally as well. Just need to focus on making little progress in a lot of different places
> u combine business with ur own pleasure of doing work
i wouldn't go that far with what i do but can tolerate it at least ha
>what time do u usually go to bed?
about 9pm, which is very early to many people but i would not survive if i slept later D:
>>
>>76447243
I was having a hard time yesterday yeah.. I was just stuck in that dissociative trance that's all
>>
>>76447002
hang in there anon. Whatever you're going through will pass eventually

>>76447086
>parents are starting to threaten me
that sounds very unpleasant sorry. Parents will try to do that to scare you to getting together though, so like you said nothing to worry about. They probably mean well in their own way.
>normal throughout my life until I hit 10
could be what you said. 10 also seems like a year this sort of things just does happen though. Think I got bad around then, but I had a lot of external trauma around that time.
I guess important thing isn't really cause but how to handle. Don't thing that changes (unless there is past trauma you need to resolve), but either way nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of regardless where it originates.
>>
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>>76446942
Hello Jackoffanon :D
Glad to hear you're still kicking itz thank you for the update
How's your life been btw?

>>76446965
why?
you can talk with us, we'll listen

>>76446969
>distract myself as much as possible
hope you feel better soon, or at least find some good distractions
>put on music and do my best ty :)
you're welcome
good luck ^^
>autistic and the noise and all the people wore me down after a year.
a year is still a lot of time, good work anon, I don't think I could survive that long
>being an archivist
what's an archivist?
sounds like a job with a lot of peace and quiet
>idk if card games and video games count
of course! :>
anything that you enjoy counts
Do you have a favorite vidya or can you show us some of your doodles??
>mostly manga lately.
that's nice too, udk if you've met yuanon yes but ge likes reading manga too, he should be here later today
maybe you could recommend each other stuff
>what are yours?
I like making game maps in hammer editor and bikes, everything about them (almost)
>and in general im not sure i know how to be in a real relationship
I think you're definitely not a bad partner, because a bad partner wouldn't worry about being bad
I think if you're unsure about something you should ask your partner about it, maybe you could talk with them about what kind of things would they like to do on valentine's day

>>76446989
>up to you.
I decided to just chill today and I'm happy about it
I went to the garage, had some fun and not long ago I came back, I've shaven and took a nice shower
>just got into bed early last night
maybe you should do the same today

>>76447199
>youtube slop?
just a guy building a bike
https://youtu.be/uafuApiUAjw?si=tCWPyBgVQeTNUZet
but here's some cool videos you might like
https://youtu.be/8Bm3le9s3-A?si=CT0jUCZSnS88TR1A
https://youtu.be/yDzAAjzbV5g?si=y1EeKCjs8fObbqxO
also when I'm bored I like to watch charborg
Here's a fun stream vod
https://youtu.be/nHxjVjIUcD8?si=-aJQQ8HXxersyKe6
>>
>>76447243
>Wish i could have your weather
yeah it's nice but I'm sure the summer's going to be bruta
>how's it going anyway? What are you up to now?
I've been to the garage not long ago, when I came back I've taken a nice shower, shaved and now I'm watching yt videos
>>
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>>76448001
> Decided to chill today
Nice nice, sounds good :3
>maybe you should do the same today?
Maybe I should. It helped I took some benadryl for sleepy time.
>>
Wish I had a drink right now but the store is closed
>>
good morning/afternoon /cut/. i talked with my therapist about me wanting to kill myself and she recommended more sessions or an iop program (which i did a few years ago)

she also told me i should try to limit my contact with my ex-friend (who is/was my only friend) bc she's probably going to make my mental health worse.

i'm gonna go make some ramen.

>>76445300
>Do you not care about other people? If so, why would you want people around?
how i explain is is that my lizard brain craves connection because humans are not solitary creatures, but when i actually interact with other people, i remember how much of a hassle it is and how annoying people are. i would rather be alone, it's the lizard brain instinct part that keeps tripping me up.
>most people who dont care at all wouldnt value friendship or others at all like you sound like you do
i do care about people on a broad level. i think everyone deserves to be happy and healthy and have good relationships, etc. i want the best for others. it's when i get onto an individual level that i don't like them.
>What are your interests anyway?
i draw, play video games, and read manga. i'm also learning japanese, and i'm into j-fashion, and j-pop, especially vocaloid. they're easy enough to find a basic connection, but i just get irritated by people.
>And are you just working or have school or anything?
just working part time. lockdown and some severe mental health issues made me drop out of school and i have no desire to go back.
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>>76448001
>a year is still a lot of time, good work anon, I don't think I could survive that long
thank you T-T aw im sure you could
>what's an archivist?
its like a librarian, except librarians help people find books and do community outreach, and archivists are more focused on preserving documents and cataloguing? def lots of peace and quiet which would be nice...
>or can you show us some of your doodles??
picrels part of a sketchbook page :)
>I like making game maps in hammer editor
thats really cool!
>I think you're definitely not a bad partner, because a bad partner wouldn't worry about being bad
yeah, i might just be worrying for the sake of worrying. i have a reservation for tomorrow at a restaurant she really loved. i do need to work on communication tho. thank you
>>
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I am just now learning one of my old roomates died a month ago
>>
>>76448001
That SFM video is neat, I usually like watching little indie cartoons on youtube and of course playing vidya OSTs.
>>
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I give up on this. I'm not capable of approaching women. I'll never kiss a woman. 22yo and never kissed a woman, while I know people who got more women than I could ever conceive. And I'm out of paint anyway, can't paint my arm
>>76446455
>yayy :D
And I slept a bit more now lmao
>Maybe you should do some exercises before bed to get yourself a little more tired
I'm a chain smoker, can't handle doing exercise. But thanks for the suggestion
>>76446774
Thanks chroma, you too!
>>76447243
>that's good to hear! I actually had trouble sleeping for the first time in a while, but I'll survive and can't complain considering how rough you had it lately
I slept a little more now, this is the first time in a good amount of days that I actually could sleep well. I feel well rested
>but it isn't the end of the world at your point in life and it's better to do it in a way you'll be happy with, than a circumstance you may not be happy about or even regret after, so don't feel like you need to make it work just because
I know, but I feel like this is yet another reason for me to be a failure. A lot of people have been kissing and such since middle school, while the most I ever got with a girl was a hug
>showers are unironically great mood booster too :> i can't imagine going a day without one and usually do 2 just because
I only shower like, 2 or 3 times a week. Maybe 4 at most. I need to work on that
>still amazed i've been here as long as I have and still talking to the same people from day one for me a lot of the time
These are some good folk to be around, kinda hard to be away, specially considering how much shit there is out there. I really like it in here
>still counts. Travel shouldn't be a contest and i get annoyed by people who act like it is. Even domestic travel can be exciting and fun. I know I'm from the USA so it's really true for us, but other countries have lots of places to go and see to within borders
I would love to travel more, just wish I had the money to do so
>>
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>>76447526
>I was just stuck in that dissociative trance
never experienced anything like that. So sounds concerning to me, but if you're all good that's what matters most!

>>76448022
>the summer's going to be bruta
sounds good to me! I can handle heat, just not the cold

>>76448512
>i talked with my therapist about me wanting to kill myself and she recommended more sessions or an iop program
glad she didn't do more than that and seems like you're not going to be too inconvenienced, while also got to notify someone. Best case scenario i'd say
>but when i actually interact with other people, i remember how much of a hassle it is and how annoying people are.
i think you need to work on being more understanding of people. You clearly desire interaction, so don't think you're the personality type that wants to be completely alone, but just need to find a way to tolerate more.
> they're easy enough to find a basic connection
definitely enough there and think you'd easily find some friends with that. Do you know why you get frustrated with people so easily? Is it even talking about shared interests?
> lockdown and some severe mental health issues
these two seem to go very hand in hand for many sadly. Hope you get back on track.

>>76448692
> 22yo and never kissed a woman
i was older than you when i finally did, so don't be so hard on yourself for this.
> I feel well rested
always feel a bit better than normal after that, that's nice.
>>
>>76448692
> A lot of people have been kissing and such since middle school
this is honestly something that bothers me a lot too. Even after actually dating and doing everything I missed out on, part of me is still a bit mentally insecure about this and not doing things sooner. Doesn't matter most guys from middle and high school I know are out of shape and broke these days, while I'm better than most of them were even at their peak now. The fact it happened naturally and easily, but i pushed myself to my limit to get here really makes me question my value as a person sometimes and i don't think i'll ever be completely confident with women as a result.
> I need to work on that
especially it's very hot there D: At very least, may make you feel better like i said.
>I really like it in here
i swear, when i was traveling a few weeks back, i didn't miss much about being home, but did miss being able to post freely here and was excited to talk to everyone again when i got back
>just wish I had the money to do so
give it time. Again, another thing i didn't get to do till after i was done school

>>76448618
sorry anon. That's always a little upsetting. Even if you're not close, kinda always shocking and unsettling to hear
>>
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>>76449070
Yeah I'm okay now. But, it always comes back.. it's like I'm not the one in control like I'm watching through my eyes as something else controls my body.
>>
Mind if I //cut// in? originally
>>
>>76449258
i had something like that happen once. Really freaked me out so glad haven't had it again.
>>
>>76449374
lol well done anon, you win thread
>>
Noone loves me and nobody ever will, I feel like shit knowing I will die alone and drunk, there's no point in anything, why would I buy a new game or watch a movie, if I still feel the loneliness
>>
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>>76441000
>Lots of software engineers are very logic first people.
i try to balance it, but i could appear like that. i just can't be bothered to play peoples games anymore, but in the end, that's only detrimental for myself.

>where as people like me who pay more attention to emotions and mood have an interesting advantage a lot really exceptionally gifted devs do not.
would be nice if everyone worked according to their strength for the benefit of all around them instead competing against each other, but that's just me and my crazy talk again.

>guess you are a very heavy into cars nations as well
of course. mercedes and volkswagen are still big players and have a lot of influence. the ministry of traffic always makes decisions that are advantageous for cars, never for public transportation.

>was amazed by there being any transportation by trains/subway at all. To me that's something in NYC and DC, and no where else here.
yeah, but it's often overpriced, of bad quality and never it's there where or when you need it. i remember that i had to take a taxi to school one time because i had to be there at an unusual time. it might be that the places you went had good public transportation, but there's no centralized plan for it in germany. there's a huge number of pt-providers who are mostly acting independently, so there's an insane amount of offers and you have to check which one you have to buy when traveling from one to the next. the best experience i had was when i had to change trains from a german to a belgian one (i was traveling to a german city, but one part of the tracks was used by a belgian provider for some reason...). it's pure insanity on every level.
>>
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hai guys :3
>>76441000
nice trips officeanon :D
>>76448618
>I am just now learning one of my old roomates died a month ago
im so sorry anon, thats very rough
>>76448692
>I give up on this. I'm not capable of approaching women. I'll never kiss a woman. 22yo and never kissed a woman, while I know people who got more women than I could ever conceive.
relatable, if there was someone out there who would appreciate me despite my flaws
>>76449258
>it's like I'm not the one in control like I'm watching through my eyes as something else controls my body.
i often feel like am playing a shitty simulator game instead of actually doing a thing, it feels like controlling a character and not like real life
>>76449374
nice pun xD
>>76449466
dont be too harsh on urself, u still got time
>>
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>>76449406
It's an almost daily thing for me now I'm not sure what causes it
>>
>>76441000
>i'd say i wouldn't like these things because i trust myself more than the technology, but i'm sure a lot of people say that about a lot of things and are not always trustworthy at all xD
i like things to be more simple and this seems the opposite, so i'm not sure about it myself. in the end, there's always room for mistakes and accidents, no matter who's driving.

>i mean, this would be perfect if you could pull it off, but we can't even pull off regulars trains here so...
comedians here just have to say "die bahn" (deutsche bahn being the main railway provider here) to get a laugh or pained groans out of people. it's a fucking joke at this point.

>this sounds very amusing lol
might be the most realistic option, actually. when drones are used for the delivery of goods, it might be expanded to people. maybe with the addition of something like blimps.

>>76441261
>I have been taking it slow especially when my thighs hurt from working out
must have been a good one, then.

>>76441556
>Nice try glowy
thank you. :>

>I don't care much about age of sigmar
me neither, but there's still a lot of nice models that can just be used in fantasy, especially lizardmen and skaven. there's a lot of models from 7th edition to end times that are absolutely hideous as well. i just get the ones i like from either period.

>I just like skinks and caster one looks the best and like crazy gun plage rats.
yeah, those are great. bloodbowl has some nice ones as well.

>And idk never painted minis I guess it would depend on mini
there's a lot of different styles and techniques out there.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2g5vZbSPpQ0

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L6zxzMPtgAU&pp=ygUVcGFpbnRpbmcgc2tpbmtzIHJldHJv

again, if you ever really want to start but have to do so on a budget, i can point you in some directions. you can save a lot on paints and brushes when you go to producers in- and outside "the hobby", like craftstores, brushes for cosmetics or even graffiti-paint suppliers.
>>
>>76449614
Yeah, it really feels bad almost like a bad vr game
>>
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wow... took me some time to somewhat catch up on everything, but now i'm in the present again. hello, everyone! hope you're all doing well.
>>
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>>76448264
>sounds good :3
yupp today's been great
>took some benadryl for sleepy time.
sounds good
have a nice night ^^

>>76448457
I think it's better tht way, even if you don't like it

>>76448512
Heya
>recommended more sessions or an iop program
do you think it might help?
>try to limit my contact with my ex-friend
sounds like a good idea
if she's not your friend anymore than you'll just feel bad after interacting with her
>gonna go make some ramen
enjoy your meal :D

>>76448516
>thank you T-T
you're welcome :3
>aw im sure you could
idk.. I've never worked anywhere
>def lots of peace and quiet
sounds great
>part of a sketchbook page :)
looks cool
I don't know much about drawing but I get a feeling you're pretty good at it ^^
>thats really cool!
thank you
>reservation for tomorrow at a restaurant she really loved
aww
you're definitely not a bad partner C:
>need to work on communication tho.
yupp

>>76448618
Hey bib
>old roomates died
I'm sorry, rip :<
do you know what happened?

>>76448672
thanks
>indie cartoons
any recommendations?

>>76448692
>slept a bit more
so sleepy
>chain smoker, can't handle doing exercise
that's probably even better since you'll get tired quicker

>>76449070
>I can handle heat, just not the cold
oh man :[
I'm even sadder now about you having snow
But hey, I'm sure the good weather will get to you too

>>76449614
Hello lain
how's it going?

>>76449623
Heyo yuanon
wazzup?
>>
>>76450180
Have a nice night no I took it last night to sleep it's only 1319 here now
>>
>>76450180
I like these two made by this guy, but sadly nothing else can really come to my mind right now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGa8eReR_ns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgNz7ltN-Nk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nraIhGBBKT0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om9Id44vjKw
>>
i just woke up from a huge nap omg -_-
>>
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>>76450180
hey catbro! (^-^)

>wazzup?
not much. had a really stressfull day at work that started with an argument with one of my coworkers. when got home, my friends came over to play a game and that took the rest of the day. now i'm just chilling. what about you?

>>76450265
hi gal!

>>76450280
hey anon!

>>76450288
and hello chroma!
>>
>>76450336
hey yuanon, how are u feeling today?
>>
>>76450336
Hey yuan! How are you today?
>>
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>>76450348
>>76450609
>how are u feeling today?
>How are you today?
it could be better. as i mentioned, work was a lot today. it seems like carnival threw a wrench in everything. just a huge amount of parcels and letters to sort and store, while also serving customers, who were pretty relentless. my boss also forgot to tell the distribution center that we were closed on monday, so the customers got the wrong pickup date and i always had to check the piles of unsorted parcels for their delivieries, which just delayed everything else. having my friends over after that was nice, but now i'm just drained. but enough about me, how are you guys doing?
>>
I hope you all find eternal piece and comfort in this life.
>>
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>>76448618
just realized i called you anon sorry bibbit hope all is well and sorry again

>>76449614
hey lain, how's it going?
>nice trips
i've had luck with numbers lately on here :>

>>76449622
has it gotten more frequent? Or just always sort of been like that?

>>76449466
not necessarily true anon, don't give up

>>76449518
>that's only detrimental for myself
suppose it depends. Some ways its helpful, but other situations it does make things harder. Guess it's who's worth putting up with these things from sometimes
>would be nice if everyone worked according to their strength for the benefit of all around them instead competing against each other
i agree, but can't get a break from it so forced to be the same as long as i'm in corporate. Nobody is genuine except for the people who don't last long. Everyone else just wants to stab you in the back or use to get ahead first chance they get. I keep an open mind, but am also good at reading people around me.
>still big players and have a lot of influence
whereas america nobody even drives cars from here, we just favor cars because it's american culture to do so xD
>it might be that the places you went had good public transportation
i've only been to touristy cities primarily focused on areas of interest to tourists, so my experience is probably much more limited than needing to use as transport for daily life so kind of expected it would be as perfect as my experience.
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>>76450336
>had a really stressfull day
oh my
sorry to hear that z at least now you're with us and you can relax
>friends came over to play
sounds nice but also tiring
>what about you?
my day was nice, I've worked on bikes a bit, I took a nice shower and now I'm just watching youtube
Sorry for disappearing yesterday btw, I had an power outage
>>
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>>76450840
Sounds rough... you work at the post office then?
>>76451001
It has gotten more frequent but I guess it's an autism deal as well so I'll have to see what causes it
>>
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>>76436942
first time here!
>How are you doing today?
Bit worse than usual. Can't bring myself out of bed and didn't go to classes today and i'm behind by around 2 months in terms of course work ;(
>Any plans for today?
Not really. Just lurk.
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
Couple hours ago. A bit of burning and hitting myself.
>Why did you hurt yourself?
Helps me cope w being a loser :)
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
School work keeps piling up and I cant bring myself to start :(
>>
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>>76449518
>so there's an insane amount of offers and you have to check which one you have to buy when traveling from one to the next
This is one thing that confuses me with transport of this nature in general is transferring between and so on and having to link together multiple bookings/tickets. Like just to be direct, but not always feasible with trains I'm aware.
>one part of the tracks was used by a belgian provider for some reason
US has limited train infrastructure, but at least don't need to deal with this ha
>>76449623
>i like things to be more simple and this seems the opposite
i'm basically good with current level of detection features and other things to help you drive safer, but i don't want to have done for me day to day life. Maybe long distance.
> it's a fucking joke at this point.
ah well, here long distance trains are just the thing you use if you are too tired to drive and really are afraid of flying. Very niche form on transport here.
>might be the most realistic option
agree with the take. Still many images of what this would like, so less and more serious lol
>>76450840
sorry you had such a rough day btw. Hope tomorrow is a little better

>>76450180
>I'm even sadder now about you having snow
it's okay! Not too much. Mostly all melted now so it's cold but clear. Not a big snow storm, which is lucky since up north they got tons of snow
>I'm even sadder now about you having snow
winter is ending soon. groundhog didn't see his shadow after all :>
>>
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>>76446812
>spoiler
oi its alrighte, mistakes happen!
>good job :D
thank uuuu catto

>>76447346
>Winter is just unpleasant here.
how many degrees do you consider winter? (holy shit my english is bad)
for me it's -20C, we have this temperature almost all the time during winter, so im already used to it hehe
>since you go in many directions in life but not guarantee it will be successful, so we gravitate to the safer ones without considering riskier ones
yeah, id rather not make any choice right now lole
>Software engineers make really good money, so i have for that and more, so not even worried.
i was always worried that software engineers might be replaced by AIs. alot of people were talking about it, but i guess it was just overdramatization and it didn't actually happen.
>>76447382
>Just need to focus on making little progress in a lot of different places
...and so i decided to start from here, i am now using my nickname which i almost use everywhere instead of being anonymous right now.
i dont really think its socialization, but better something than nothing ?
god what am i even talking about >-->
>i wouldn't go that far with what i do but can tolerate it at least ha
well, if you put it that way, arent u happy with the job u currently have?
>about 9pm
O_O
omg jealous

>>76450840
i hope things get better for u at work.
i think a lot of people have a hard time getting back to working after the holidays (or call it a carnival) so this is pretty common lol
>>76451001
>i've had luck with numbers lately on here :>
>off by one
oof, u almost got three same numbers again!
>>76451197
>first time here!
hello hello !
>Bit worse than usual. Can't bring myself out of bed and didn't go to classes today and i'm behind by around 2 months in terms of course work ;(
is there some reason u can't get out of bed? laziness? sadness? everything combined? either way i hope u get yourself out of this state. if anything, u can tell us what's going on in ur life if u are comfortable.
>>
>>76451001
>suppose it depends.
yeah. at least people believe me when i'm saying something, which i appreciate.

>i agree, but can't get a break from it so forced to be the same as long as i'm in corporate.
my job is a dead end that leads nowhere and there's no latter to climb, so i don't have to play these games, but i understand why you'd need to.

>I keep an open mind, but am also good at reading people around me.
don't need to watch your back when you stab their's first, i suppose. and sometimes you just need to hand someone enough rope.

>whereas america nobody even drives cars from here, we just favor cars because it's american culture to do so xD
the problem is that they completely slept on electric cars and other alternatives, so china is taking the lead, but of course they are too big to fail, so the state has subsidize them at every opportunity or they won't stop reeing. it's tiresome. and yeah, cars are a huge part of the "culture" here as well. so much so that we are one of the few countries in europe that doesn't have a speed limit on highways, which is completely ridiculous, if you ask me. and if anyone tries to change it, all the lobbyists start screeching about "muh freedom". you know the drill.

>i've only been to touristy cities primarily focused on areas of interest to tourists, so my experience is probably much more limited than needing to use as transport for daily life so kind of expected it would be as perfect as my experience.
i think i said it before, but don't let a german sucker you into a discussion about public transportation. we love to complain about it all day long... ^^' but yeah, there's huge differences between cities and rural areas and the touristically developed places tend to be better connected as well.

>>76451067
>sorry to hear that z at least now you're with us and you can relax
yeah, i'd love to, but i have to go to bed ready. don't know where the evening went...

>sounds nice but also tiring
yeah. i'm tired. (~.~)
>>
>>76436942
I used to cut a lot and was very suicidal. I've now gotten my life on track and rarely feel as down anymore. But I still get some nights sometimes where I want to try hurting myself again, haven't yet relapsed tho.
Thoughts about suicide also creep up those nights. It feels weird to say but I feel a bit scared that I'll just do it some night and it'll be over. Feels like a losing battle since I imagine I'll be stuck with such feelings the rest of my life and all it could take is one try
>>
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>>76451295
>how many degrees do you consider winter?
>for me it's -20C
i forgot you're from a very cold country D: lol honestly 0 and below is where i start to get comfy. For the record, my state is very warm in summer and i prefer warm weather from my time traveling for years too. I'm just not suited for cold
> software engineers might be replaced by AIs. alot of people were talking about it
i have two thoughts about this. First, AI could potentially wipe out all jobs that exist today and make the entire labor force obsolete. There would be riots before this happened. Second, AI isn't exactly new. While it improves and new models come out, all this has been known for decades. It was only recently popularized to the masses and at a very interesting time. The economy has slowed after covid era growth in tech sector was no longer sustainable, the low interest rates got raised, and tech companies that though the sky had no limit realized they were losing money after hiring to fulfill limitless demand. But then suddenly AI! Companies laid off employees because AI is a new option, of course they wouldn't admit it was because they were blinded by greed and overhired because they were unwilling to notice the ride would end eventually. The corporate elite are never hurt, they just need good excuses for why and they're good, AI buzz was a very useful one to exploit.
> but better something than nothing ?
i would say. I'd say online interaction doesn't replace irl, but online friends can be real friends even if it's not the same completely
> arent u happy with the job u currently have?
i'm happy, but don't consider a dream job if that makes sense. I also have a big problem with my company, but can't really post an explanation here
>omg jealous
need sleep or i can't recover from the workout routine xD aha
>>
>>76451067
>my day was nice, I've worked on bikes a bit, I took a nice shower and now I'm just watching youtube
enjoy your night.

>Sorry for disappearing yesterday btw, I had an power outage
haha. and i wondered where you went. ^^ seems to happen on the regular where you live. is there a reason?

>>76451169
>you work at the post office then?
well, it's a corner shop that also has a postal office attached to it, though "office" makes it sound a lot better than it is. it's just like any other delivery service.

>>76451232
>Like just to be direct, but not always feasible with trains I'm aware.
there's no reason for it. it's just to confuse you so you make a purchase that's disadvantageous for you. that's all. and it's one of the reasons people don't bother with it. it's too complicated.

>US has limited train infrastructure, but at least don't need to deal with this ha
yeah. it's pretty annoying when you ride your shitty, run down, piece of garbage train that should be in a museum somewhere for an hour, just to transfer to a modern train that you ride for five minutes where everything works, everyone gets a nice seats and you even have air conditioning. that's when you start thinking about strangling someone...

>Very niche form on transport here.
i can see why, but it probably shouldn't be. they tried to make ai come up with solutions for traffic problems and the answer was: trains. then they removed anything train related from the ai (sorry i lack the proper terms here) and the thing just started to invent trains from scratch. those things are pretty good. we should use them.

>agree with the take. Still many images of what this would like, so less and more serious lol
yeah, there's this african company that delivers medical supplies to hospitals via drones that are started with the help of a slingshot. wonder if that could be implemented somehow. ^^

>Hope tomorrow is a little better
thanks. me too.
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>>76450870
Thank you anon
you too ^^

>>76451197
Hello
>Bit worse than usual
sorry to hear this anon
>Can't bring myself out of bed
well you've already missed your classes, so just put on some nice movie on your phone and try to stay cozy
It's going to be okay anon
>cope w being a loser :
you're not a loser
it's okay to not feel good sometimes
>School work keeps piling up
good luck anon
maybe you could just repeat this year next year?

>>76451232
>Not a big snow storm
at least that's good
>winter is ending soon
yupp just a couple of months left

>>76451295
>mistakes happen!
thank you for your understandment ^^
>thank uuuu catto
no problemo :3

>>76451449
>know where the evening went...
days like that happen
maybe tomorrow's going to be better
>yeah. i'm tired. (~.~)
go to sleep sleepyhead

>>76451546
Hi anon
>But I still get some nights sometimes
maybe you should keep track of when u get nights like that
Maybe you'll notice you get less and less of them
>losing battle since I imagine I'll be stuck with such feelings
you don't know that future anon, They might disappear
maybe if you're so worried you should try therapy?


yawn sleep time
goodnight everyone
>>
>>76451449
>so i don't have to play these games, but i understand why you'd need to.
that sounds very nice in it's own ways. Know the career path I'm going has a lot of benefits, but sometimes all just too fake for me.
>don't need to watch your back when you stab their's first
thing is, i literally can't bring myself to do such a thing first. even if i assume someone is trouble or have reason to doubt, until they wrong me i can't even if it's clearly to my advantage. After wronging or trying to, all bets are off and i have a hard time being lenient or considerate of people after that, but also don't want to be the cause of this kind of environment either if it doesn't need to be that way.
>doesn't have a speed limit on highways
whereas where i live we don't have enforced speed limits ha. But I get what you're saying and the same can be applied to a lot of industries here even if not cars. Very tiresome.
>we love to complain about it all day long
it's okay! It's interesting enough to me and I have plenty of topics i can get carried away with
>touristically developed places tend to be better connected as well.
i suppose in america even the biggest places international tourists would visit are well enough connected. just bets are off outside that
>>
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>>76451295
>i hope things get better for u at work
it probably will be. i'm working with someone else and we're getting along a little better.

>i think a lot of people have a hard time getting back to working after the holidays (or call it a carnival) so this is pretty common lol
that's true. everything should be little more easy going tomorrow.

i'll be heading to bed now. sorry for being less responsive tonight. i'm just too tired. good night.
>>
>>76451757
Thanks for the reply to my weird post
>Maybe you'll notice you get less and less of them
Hadn't thought about trying that before. Although I have noticed them being quite infrequent. It's just that they never seem to disappear.
>you don't know that future anon, They might disappear
You're right, it's just that it's difficult to imagine when and how they would disappear when they haven't by now when I'm living a pretty good life.
>maybe if you're so worried you should try therapy?
I have thought about that but I'm scared that I'll be forcibly admitted or something if I talk about being suicidal and afraid that I'll act upon it

Goodnight, sleep well
>>
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>>76451683
>my state is very warm in summer and i prefer warm weather from my time traveling for years too. I'm just not suited for cold
i can tell why :DD
>AI
i think there would be shit tons of discontent and strikes if companies start publicly announcing that they are laying off actual employees to replace them with AIs -_-
glad it didnt affect ur job at all
>I'd say online interaction doesn't replace irl, but online friends can be real friends even if it's not the same completely
i guess thats fair, ive never met an internet friend before, but i do consider them my friends because they are the only ones i talk to
if i had irl friends it would be much harder for me to keep them as friends lole
>i'm happy, but don't consider a dream job if that makes sense.
really? whats ur dream job then?
>I also have a big problem with my company, but can't really post an explanation here
ouch, i hope its not affecting if u keep being a software engineer there or not >->


>>76451757
>>76451798
good night to both of u! have a sweet dreams
>>
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Sorry, was sleeping (again). I really was tired
>>76449070
>i was older than you when i finally did, so don't be so hard on yourself for this.
It's hard. I do feel like a failure. I missed out on teenage love, missed out of going to parties, etc
>always feel a bit better than normal after that, that's nice.
Yeah. And I'm just waking up yet again. I feel so much better than I normally do desu
>>76449141
>this is honestly something that bothers me a lot too. Even after actually dating and doing everything I missed out on, part of me is still a bit mentally insecure about this and not doing things sooner. Doesn't matter most guys from middle and high school I know are out of shape and broke these days, while I'm better than most of them were even at their peak now. The fact it happened naturally and easily, but i pushed myself to my limit to get here really makes me question my value as a person sometimes and i don't think i'll ever be completely confident with women as a result.
My brother has a girlfriend, he says that my time for this will eventually come and that I shouldn't worry too much. But what you mentioned there is and always will be a factual thought
>especially it's very hot there D: At very least, may make you feel better like i said.
Definitely. I really do stink since I don't shower lol
>i swear, when i was traveling a few weeks back, i didn't miss much about being home, but did miss being able to post freely here and was excited to talk to everyone again when i got back
That's wholesome. Where did you go to?
>give it time. Again, another thing i didn't get to do till after i was done school
Sure. I'm still in college and living with my parents. I'll earn money some day
>>76449614
>relatable, if there was someone out there who would appreciate me despite my flaws
It sucks =(
>>76450180
>so sleepy
Slept even more
>that's probably even better since you'll get tired quicker
I get tired walking up two sets of stairs. I really can't handle exercise =(
>>
>>76451754
Oh I see. Well that makes sense
>>
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good night /cut/
have a sweet dreams
>>
What do you guys use to cut anyways? I usually use razors and a pocket knife which has gone dull I think. I can't find any knife sharpener with a set angle without asking for one. Used to use some throwing darts back in my teens but I lost those after moving.
>>
>>76446787
>what is it about?
is on security and networking
>AI to help
YES, i have to do this. I'll rego through it all at the end and retype probably 100% of it. the whole prompting thing mostly is just asking questions that turn my outline into the paper
>do you have any plans how to get out there?
yh, just woke up (5pm) but im gonna take a metro into the city and study at a 24 hr cafe or if i can get into a university library and study there.
I think physically being ouside of my room will help to not distract myself. after I post this, gonna pack and leave then might be able to study too
>you're alright anon, don't worry
ty <3
>>76447199
>What youtube slop do you guys watch?
Youtube shorts, Minecraft SMPs(Lifesteal, HermitCraft, other minecraft vids too), memes, vtuber drama, the anime and manga recap channels done by AI, anime channels, the youtuber house channels like BetaSquad and SQUEZE, Video game ones like spiff sszeth and doug doug when they upload, the 15-30sec gay meme voice over channels, mrbeast
> I've been looking for stuff to distract myself lately that I don't really have to focus on that much.
reccomend the longer videos then. if you gan get into watching the 2-8hr videos(livestream VODs, long video essays, and multi episode playlists) then those are generally better for not feeling worse afterwards.
fWhip has 3 0-1000 day hardcore minecraft videos that are like 2-3 hrs each as an example.
>>76447346
>good luck, what's the class? Maybe focus on that before taking too much time on the other things aha
yusyus, i shall today(night)
once posted, im packing bags and taking train to ...(rip, no cafes open 24 hrs near me. might take train into vancouver canada tommorow and ask parents to pay for return trip. lol :c) ill figure out another option probably
>have potential to get out of things
oki, i shall try still. ty <33
>>
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>>76452384
razorblades mostly. i got a couple xacto knives which i was gonna use to clean up sprues and mould lines from miniatures but i ended up using them to cut more than anything else. as a teenager i used to steal thumbtacks from school and use those lol (and i used to burn myself)
>>
Sorry for not being active lately I have been really sick lately my precious /cut/ femboys. The coughing is unimaginable and the pain in my lungs is something else. I'm now gonna try and sleep a little as I only slept 4 hours last night. If only my heart burn wouldn't fuck with me every time I lay down. The only thing keeping me alive at this point is the fact that I don't have the means to end it. I really want this to stop.



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