Describe what it's like to actually be autistic. If you are autistic yourself.
>>83075443Like a 4 engine plane flying without 1 of the engines operational. Constantly having to pull up the flight controls.
>>83075443>see gay porn>watch gay porn>become gay>post what it's like to have autism
ive never been not autistic so i cant describe what it's like being autistic vs being not autistic
>>83075459Ok but describe it with actual real world examples.>>83075477Can you say what makes you different from normalfags at least?
Being mediocre but not wanting to take fault for it so just make up an excuse
>>83075494besides poor social skills not really. i think you can be both autistic and a normalfag. most of what makes me different lies in other personality shit that probably isnt directly related to having autism
>>83075443Being confused by what's appropriate in social interactions is the big thing that gets me. Sometimes I feel like i dont have this problem and forget about it then am reminded I definitely do lol. Also I feel this need to bounce up and down thats deep in my bones it helps me cope with stress. Id say in other ways I feel probably like other people do mostly.
When I'm physically alone I have great clarity of mind, I'm able to think quickly and sharply about everything. When I'm around people, it's like 80% of that is turned off, it's almost like trying to engage in reasoning while dreaming.
>>83075443It's like everybody else is a tiny bit crazy. In the psychotic sense. Like they really believe that they can read minds and use divination to magically "feel" a situation. It's not a major form of insanity like full blown schizophrenia, just a tiny baseline of psychosis that everyone else has.Note that this doesn't mean autists are smarter or whatever, we're actually pretty retarded in other ways, we just don't have that weird mini-delusional thing. Instead we build systems that rationalize our bullshit.
>>83075443Does ADHD count?if yes, a lil bump before I post what it's like
>>83075494>>Ok but describe it with actual real world examples.not him, but in grade school the shrink that diagnosed me mentioned that one of the big giveaways was that I looked people in the mouth instead of the eyes when talking to them. Apparently normies just naturally look other people in the eyes, I had to be taught that you're supposed to do that. I have to consciously remind myself to do it to this day, decades later.
>>83077456i tend to look next to peoples' heads or just not look near them at all when talking to them. i find eye contact really uncomfortable
>>83075443>feeling mentally stunted>feeling unlovable>everything feels transational>im boring/gross to girls>everyone is selfish>being different fucking sucks>dont understand the unspoken social rules and social understandings>how am i suppose to stand, move my hands, where do i look, how much do i look, what am i suppose to say when talking to people>hate some sounds>hate some textures of food>low social battery but still wish i could socialize more
it feels like i can only pretend to be human while others just do it naturally. i can't start or hold a conversation unless it's something i have a keen interest in, which are technical subjects hardly anybody is interested inthe lack of human interaction just makes this worse over time, people regularly bring up stories about things they've done in the past, who they've interacted with, but all i can talk about is how i don't have much of that.put simply, it's alienating.
>>83075443>be actually autistic>mention it to somebody>you aren't autistic I've never seen you talk about trains!>you aren't autistic you have a boyfriend, autistic people aren't mature enough to have relationships!>if you were autistic you wouldn't be wearing bras like that!
I'm Jane Goodall trying to understand and study chimp politics, except I'm embedded in chimp society. The chimps will never understand me or try, but my wellbeing and future depends on how well I integrate with the chimps.
>>83077937>you aren't autistic, you're wearing a two piece instead of a one piece (ASSUUUU) >you aren't autistic, you have a job!
>>83077942I'm a guy btw I don't know any male primatologists for the sake of the allegory
>>83075477Second this, how am I supposed to know what being not autistic is like to have a comparison?
>>83077797>i can't start or hold a conversation unless it's something i have a keen interest inthis, so much this
for me it's like i have to act in a certain way to socialize that isn't like me at all. so when i am left alone i wonder who am i.
>>83077942Man fuck you were reminding me she died
>>83075443I really fucking hate that my mom pulled me from the clinic before the specialist could diagnose me and put it on my records.
>>83075443It's being a sociopath without the perks of being able to hide amongst people or being a social butterfly. The world revolves around me in the sense that I cannot truly connect with other people, it's just me, me, me. Other people can drawl on about their passions, wants, hopes and dreams and all I really want to do is have them sat down in a struggle session and hear about my current hyperfixation for several hours. But noooo, you don't want to hear about plants, or books, or cards for 3-4 hours nonstop. You have "Things" to do, people to see, and etc. Also, people treat you as if you're schizophrenic in the sense that if there was a full bus and the only seat non taken was right beside you, they'd prefer standing than taking a seat next to you. You're strange, and people can see it from a mile away. They have the map to reading the general sense of how people are, while you're left with listening and looking for keys to fit into the preconceived patterns you've acquired over the years. Normal people can read faces/eyes/mannerisms instantly to tell if something's off. We can't, we have to watch you for a bit to get an opinion. And not in the eyes, because if I look em in the eyes they get really freaked the fuck out.
>>83077937>you have a boyfriendEw a gayboy!
>>83075494>Ok but describe it with actual real world examples.That is a real world example though. Its like flying a 4-engine plane on 3 engines or less while everyone else is running on 4 engines.
>>83075443it's when people half-ass shit, get offended when you do it right, and blame you for being wrong for it
>>83078952Cite real cases where the pilot was certified autist.
>>83077942fuck, realand then they also get uncomfortable and vengeful when you understand them (as part of your survival) but don't want to do anything with them
>>83077797when I accidentally end up saying what's on my mind or what I'm interested in (have easy social time and the masking slips), people think I'm trying to show off
>>83077942The Autist believes he is completely separate from humanity, cut off from the rest. He's the sun, and there's an awful lot of debris that orbits him.As such, he has to "blend in", wear a mask. Try to hide from the others what he really is.The tragedy in this explanation is: Everyone can see he's different the first five seconds of looking at him. It's like the cops are sitting at a cafe across the street while a robber decides to rob the bank. The blank monotone resting face that's too slow to change emotions when interacting with another human being. The listless eyes that glaze off into space since they never, ever will want to look you in the eyes. The sudden small spasms of a body part as if they're hooked up on some upper. The chimps always see him but the only reason he's not burnt on a stake is because nobody has asked to burn him (But if anyone really wanted to, nobody would really mind).>.t autist
>>83075443I don't get it(everything)
>>83075443people don't like me and if I try to act differently they like me less
>>83078986>when I accidentally end up saying what's on my mindthat's a painful one. if you get too comfortable you might say something unfiltered, something really weird. something that will likely be interpreted much differently by others. you might even notice as soon as you say it, but it's too late. or you don't and people just treat you differently after and /refuse/ to explain whythat's another thing, people will generally not explain what you do wrong, things they consider obvious aren't always obvious to us.
>>83079082>people don't like me and if I try to act differently they like me lesslol proves >>83078961 right
>>83075443It's hard to explain but to me it feels like i'm way more hung up on the details of stuff than everyone else. Like, does no one think about how weird it is if you cum inside a girl you make a baby or how the words we use to communicate are just made up but we still understand each other?, but at the same time i'm way too honest and blunt socially and can't tell what people really mean if they don't say it outright to my face, i'm completely shit at reading small signs to see what is implied and am generally uncomfortable talking with other people.
>>83075443Pros:>Don't need others to be happy>if I get locked in solitary confinement I'll live>rich inner world, imaginations, fantasies>can watch the same show/movie everyday and be happy>video games are like cheap heroin to us, why pay for drugs when MMORPGs exist?Cons:>permanent -10 to charisma no matter what, even if you're 6'6" and gorgeous you're always be a 5/10>weak executive function, hard to start/finish things>some textures are a nightmare to touch, it's impossible to explain to NTs>some common smells make me want to vomit, NTs won't believe me>hypersexuality (possible pro, depends on your perspective)
>>83079318I think the hyper sexuality stuff depends on the personmost diagnosed autistic people I see tell me they have no interest in relationships(or I am just that repulsive lol)
>>83079333Oh I didn't mean relationships. Just sexual thoughts and pornography indulgence.Like on a level normies can't possibly comprehend. If they ask me if I like porn I'm forced to say "No" because their follow up question is: "What kind?" and I can't possibly answer that and still exist as a public entity.
>>83079436if pic is related, jesus christ...
>>83075443 > you arrive at some backwater farmer village > everything is culturally different. >Everyone is always naked >it's insanely rude to not stare at their dick or pussy while you're talking>people will only talk about farming everyday, but you know nothing about that.>People think you're weird because you wear clothes or automatically cover up your genitals >You don't go outside anymore because everyone thinks you suck>You get no social training>You kill yourself or go on the internet where there is a community of people that like wearing clothes>You learn talking to these socially weird freaks on the internet and get even more seperated from society>be me, autist incelImagine how that feels. Everything feels unnatural or awkward. You don't know what to talk about, it's insanely hard. You automatically look people in the eye but that's weird, so you have to force yourself to look at some fat guy's dick even though it's incredibely uncomfortable. You just don't fit in. Tism is a spectrum though, some have it worse than others. I feel uncomfortable in social situations, but it gets better if I get to know the people. For some it never gets better.
>>83079299>how the words we use to communicate are just made up but we still understand each other?, but at the same time i'm way too honest and blunt socially and can't tell what people really mean if they don't say it outright to my facei don't think normal people even realise it themselves, but they speak not just with the meaning of their words, but with how they say them, with what expression or gesture they use when saying them, things they probably don't even realise they're doing, things we can't pick up on.
>>83075443The main feeling, and one that many autists don't even realize is happening is that society is seemingly designed to gaslight youThere is a disconnect between your own superiority, evident from every single interaction and a society where everyone else reacts with violent disgust upon interacting with youIt took me ages to realize what the reason was for living in this nightmare, i slowly started believing i was doing SOMETHING wrong as i straight up was better in social situations than anyone else (especially now that the current generation of zoomers are legit retarded)It turns out that neurotypicals literally just hate autists by instinct, they don't judge you because of X reason they just do, and it happens in less than a second (this has actually been studied)Good news is that there is a solution, the 2 reasons why normies hate you on-sight are micro-expressions and voiceThe former can be fixed by looking at close-up footage of someone's face during a conversation (i asked my brother) and then filming yourself acting out that exact same conversation and compare the difference, the main ones is not moving your eyebrows enough, the timing of your gaze being slightly different and the area around your nasal bridgeI don't know how to fix your autism voice, I avoid it by speaking English/French with a French accent because half the country are foreigners who don't speak the actual native language and French naturally forces you to overpronounce words which seems to workAlso the reason why Autists are superior is quite interesting but the question is what being an Autist is like so: "Everyone instinctively hates you for no reason" is a better fitting answer
>>83079764>"Everyone instinctively hates you for no reason" is a better fitting answerit's not a satisfying answer, due to the "no reason" part. no /apparent/ reason is a better way to put it. but i feel it, too. people are just put off by you, i don't know why, they might not know why, they won't say why, people just want nothing to do with you."you're weird", "you're creepy", "you're manipulative", "you don't smile enough", "you need to relax/be yourself". we've heard it a thousand times. we didn't choose to be like this.with the right person, they're always amazed by what we know, how deep we are in what we're interested in, but everyday meaningless interactions we just can't do.
>>83077456I managed to maintain eye contact at some point but nowadays I can't do it again and just look at people's necks or chest. It sure make them mad.
>>83075443I'm an actual monster
>>83079318You sum things up quite well>permanent -10 to charisma no matter what, even if you're 6'6" and gorgeous you're always be a 5/10This is because you don't move your eyebrows/eyes enough, not a joke that is literally the only reason since you can just "learn" to have charisma it's a skill the same way painting or soccer isRead my other reply above>weak executive function, hard to start/finish thingsAutism/ADHD is (somewhat) the same thing, their medication, like Vyvanse, will fix this >some textures are a nightmare to touch, it's impossible to explain to NTsIt's a "funny" combination with the above issue because you aren't super bothered by living in filth but also don't want to touch as if you're a clean freakI use dishwashing gloves and it sort of fixes the issue>hypersexuality (possible pro, depends on your perspective)ADHD can in rare cases result in having no refractory period, i only discovered last year that masturbating 6 times a day apparently isn't "normal" >>83079790>it's not a satisfying answer, due to the "no reason" partI read pretty much every study on this "thin-slice judgement" effect and nobody has an answer, we only know what exactly causes itBut luckily it's actually solvable and you don't have to force yourself to do "weird" (to you) facial movements because after like 30 seconds people judge for who you actually are (at which points it's not autism's fault if people dislike you)>>83079811Stop focusing on the idea of eye contact and make up a task in your head like look at one eye for x seconds, most people use the triangle techniqueThat normally helps, or just drink half a bottle of rum, there is a reason why so many autists are alcoholics
>>83079832>That normally helps, or just drink half a bottle of rum, there is a reason why so many autists are alcoholicsit's funny how different people are affected by alcohol in different ways. for me it feels like with just the right BAC, that i basically become more normal. like 'not thinking' is the key to conversation with most people. with anyone alcohol is well-known to be a social lubricant, but for me it doesn't just make it easier, it makes it possible, it's the difference between listening to people talk and actually joining in.
>>83079436i wonder if there's any correlation between autism and vorarephilia
>>83079832The task thing doesn't work. I get anxious as soon as our eyes meet. I can look at the person in the face omly if they aren't looking at me.I've acrually been thinking about starting to drink. I have to find a way to hide a bottle of something at work.
>>83079882Yeah social anxiety is a bitch, CBT is supposedly the only thing that really worksI managed to get over it but to be really honest i got super lucky because my cousin-in-law was ultra popular and basically dragged me along to every single party and i also defacto dropped out of HS to go to some job-focused school for people not smart enough for normal HS which meant that my social skills didn't matter as much since my relatively higher intelligence was so valuedYou can actually just learn to be social, most of it is just asking questions and constantly referencing things they previously said, the problem is that you need to be able to get into social situations to practice in the first place>it's the difference between listening to people talk and actually joining in.You have the same problem of not talking in 1-on-1/smaller groups?>>83079949>I've acrually been thinking about starting to drink.Alcohol is the best drug (outside of amphetamines if you have ADHD) but to be weary that the real danger isn't drinking itself but that it makes life itself bearableNobody becomes an alcoholic because being drunk feels so good, they become one because it's better than being sober
>>83076523Same, it feels like my mind just shuts down into a passive observation mode when I'm around people.
>>83075443I hate the notion that autistics are in some way mentally disabled because to me even though it has certainly prompted struggles in social life it has never really made it so that I'm actually unable to do certain tasks, even socially. It's more like a neurotypical dominated society has adopted their own social norms even to a systemic extent and they simply aren't designed to accommodate autistics. So when neurotypical society sees an autistic who behaves in a way that does not conform to the neurotypical standard (like I typically don't) it results in them coming to the conclusion that we are socially inept and therefore disabled in some regard. This is simply untrue. While I may struggle with socialisation on the grounds that I am speaking to neurotypicals and attempting to adapt to neurotypical social norms, I could much more easily communicate and socialise for hours with a fellow autistic. This isn't that I'm socially inept but rather that I and other autistics have differing means of socialisation and adopt different social cues or interests to the neurotypical which makes it hard to relate to the neurotypical but far easier to relate to each other.So to speak from a personal perspective; with this in mind, simply enough I have repeatedly been labelled disabled and considered somehow lesser by my neurotypical peers leading to feelings of isolation. But whence I have made friends in life who were also autistic it felt much easier to relate to them and be accepted by them to a degree that I had no issues socialising with them.
>>83080217>You have the same problem of not talking in 1-on-1/smaller groups?if i know someone long enough (even as an observer), i can talk to them a little. with enough alcohol maybe even a good long session, if we share a common interest, the alcohol may be optional (but it still helps keep things moving).to an audience/people i don't know? nope, never been able to do that. for as long as i can remember, i can not do that. i remember one time in school i was pressured to do a speech to my class to the point where we (me and my teacher) agreed to have all the students turn their desks around. it's a very embarrassing memory. in every other case i managed to worm my way out of making such public speeches. being the way i was, even my own class were not people i were familiar with, since this affliction tends to greatly restrict making friends, i had few friends during school... i miss having friends.>Nobody becomes an alcoholic because being drunk feels so good, they become one because it's better than being sobermoderation is the key. have a good reason before you do it.
>>83075443I'm just myself but apparently that's a problem for a lot of people
>>83080386when they say "be yourself" they mean "relax", not actually to be yourself.
>>83075443It's like being socially behind than everyone else, but having a better understanding of something than they do. Or having a mindset 10 years younger than your physical age (ie, you're physically 23, but have some mentality of a 13 yo at times) People are an enigma, they contradict their words Their vibes and meanings are extremely different, you have to manually translate body language into English, translating rooms to English is already exhausting. That's my best interpretationT. Autistic male
>>83082541Very solidly put. I would like to emphasize, at least for myself, the "10 years younger" aspect. I remember not having a certain level of social awareness that people around me throughout my teens seemed to somehow have.For example, when I became 20, I finally became aware of what exactly "anxiety" was. That is not to say I never felt it before that but, instead, I had no idea what the term for the emotion was that I had been feeling for years. So my constant sense of dread when I was around people bullying me was actually not normal and, in fact, was a negative emotional response to a bad interaction.
>>83075443Autism is a spectrum so the ways it effects one can be dramatically different from person to person. When I was younger it was a lot more noticeable. I couldn't stand the feeling of certain sounds and sensations. I recall not being able to wear anything but a certain brand of sock growing up because the material freaked me out. I couldn't pick up on social cues to save my life. Shit like sarcasm was completely lost on me.As I grew up and learned to deal with it, shit got easier. Like certain sounds still really affect me, I cannot stand being around other people because of the sounds they make like breathing or eating, but I have ways of coping with it when I'm at work or buying groceries. Being around other people in general is a very exhausting experience and I much rather prefer being at home.On top of just not enjoying the act of being around other people, I constantly have to wonder if I'm giving the correct response to a social situation, if my body language is correct, if what I'm saying and how I'm saying it is correct. It's a miserable slog.If every single human on the planet left me here to die alone on an empty world tomorrow, it would be like paradise for me.Keep in mind I'm very high functioning too. Like I can still hold a job and live alone. I don't have it that bad compared to others. I don't even really see it as a disability anymore, I get on fine regardless.Hope that info is what you where looking for.
Do you think the tiktok egirls that say they are autistic are for real?
>>83075443Its dehumanizing and you feel as though you arent fit for society no matter how good you look. Even the most beautiful women with autism will act like a total freak and antisocial that'll draw away people who want to get to know you. It's rough.
>>83085290>ven the most beautiful women with autism will act like a total freak and antisocial that'll draw away people who want to get to know you.Saying from my own experience with asd and social anxiety, but it wont be the same for everyone since its a whole spectrum. im high functioning, but I cannot comprehend social cues very well, nor interact in a normal manner. It feel likes I'm stuck in a shell and can never get out
>>83085122Need a real sperg to analyse this for me
>>83075443In comparison to the average person I'm a goddamn alien, in comparison to my autistic parents I'm kinda normal
>>83083912I was around my early 20s when I experienced true guilt, anxiety and fear of failure (I've experienced fear of failure before, but not crippling as I had experienced in my late teens and early 20s) that essentially crippled me into a sense of extreme paranoia. It's what contributed to me being unemployed for 2 years, failing behind in college, and socially and mentally held back at that age. I also understood what passive bullying was at that age, and it drove me mad.
>>83075443The symptoms of autism can basically be grouped into three buckets: social/communication issues, sensory issues, and repetitive behaviours.Social / Communication Issues>speaking and interpreting things literally >ignoring body language or tone of voice>speaking with flat affect>either a lack of desire to or difficulty looking people in the eyes>echolalia >mutism in more severe casesSensory Issues>basically, any sense can be over or under active. Common manifestations include:>loud noises can be painful, noisy environments can be stressful>certain items of clothing can be extremely irritating >certain foods may be abhorrent >bright, artificial lights may be irritating >being touched by people may suck>but also, being squished may be comforting>the manifestations are basically endless>also dyspraxia might count as a sensory issueRepetitive Behaviours >special interests, the stereotypical trains obsession, but really it can be anything. Videogames and anime or cartoons are common. It really can be anything.>stimming, such as hand shaking, leg shaking, toe walking, biting, hand rubbing, vocalisations, rocking, spinning. Once again, the manifestations are endless. Each autist will have a few favorite ways of stimming.>routine, doing things with regular frequency, eating the same things oftenI might have forgotten a few things but they will surely fall into the buckets above.Anxiety and depression are common results from living life autistic. ADHD is often comorbid. (Not me, whatever ADHD is, I have the opposite. )
>>83086614seems legit. i'm not diagnosed but i recognize a lot of these traits in myself. i probably also have ADHD since my mom was diagnosed with it, and i feel like the symptoms of both disorders tend to clash with each other. my need for routine vs my need for spontaneity. it's a wonderful life.
>>83075443You never really fit in anywhere and you never really understand why until long after it doesn't matter anymore.
