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[s4s] - Sh*t 4chan Says



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Intoroducingo
>>
monkeyrot

Your fortune: Bad Luck
>>
that feel when you remember you can scroll using two fingers on the trackpad
>>
Zero Drama Island
>>
Why is soda Japanese?
>>
Rife in prastic, It's fantastic.
>>
>>10297429
that's how the kids want it these days
>>
People think freedom is having 20 different kinds of beans to choose from. It doesn't matter you're still eating beans nigga
>>
freedom means to buy freedom beans
>>
i want to choose my beans bit*h.
>>
You'll get state-issued communism beans and that's it
>>
I don't want to stand in the bean line.
>>
this monkey eatin beans!
>>
Journey to the center of the boipussy
>>
my dadz azz
>>
MONKEY THREAD IS COMING! -- You read it here first, people. Take it to the bank. This board is headed toward a monkey thread. Because it always is.

We have clearly not -- as some hoped during recent months-- repealed the monkey and entered a permanent mank-free period. Apes always arrive.

So the question is not whether we are headed toward one. Because, well, duh.

The questions are: When will monkey thread hit? What will cause it? And how bad will it be?
>>
just FYI the device i have hastily strapped to my bell-end will be triggered momentarily and if youre wondering yes the secondary devices have already been tested and primed for maximum impact and delivery and
>>
βᗴ໒໒▬Ɛᕬↁ
>>
>>10297979
This is my new away message on AIM
>>
Bluce Splingsteen
>>
>>10297922
>>10297979
checked and keked
>>
The Question
The Blimp
>>
Chinese mnak getting low numbers with the 18=34 demographic

Some feedback from the test group:

"Me so horny"
"It's racist"
"looks like shit"
"fucking sick of this monkey"
"Ching chong ping pong"
>>
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post an image and prove you're not a bot, oh that's right: YOU CAN'T
>>
Rhomboids
>>
Unrequited love
>>
I'll go to the bakery, give me strength
>>
Pray the river doth flow once more...
>>
>>10297324
Cheekbones tucked in, lips tipped down a little and eyes wider than usual, that's a C2. Where it clearly shows that there is at least one expression of uncertainty that is trying to pass an expression of suspense.
>>
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>>10298212
idk what's going on in my thread
>>
>>10298406
The manacles of fate
>>
Fuck this ape. This guy bumped us, said he's an ape not knowing we're og apes talking shit. These new apes are disgraceful. We're looked up to and this behavior is what gets us hated on. Do better. Fuck this fake ape
>>
Ape fakers not as good as ape gapers
>>
time to see how many peanuts can fit up this monkeys nose
>>
Okay okay I think it’s alright okay okay but I’m not really hungry lol so I’ll definitely get back to it later on when you get a chance thanks
>>
Peterman Juice Builder
>>
he doesn't look chuffed with his new hat
>>
he sexy i wanna pork him so bad . . .
>>
The monkey stares aT YOU and he LICKS you and smiles...HAVE A BERNANER he says, holding your face tightly/// he kisses you and punches you repeatedly and youLOVE IT
>>
Sexy ape surprise (the dildos is rape)
>>
the youth want the monky to be asian
the youth want the monky to be asian
the youth want the monky to be asian

the youth want the monky to be asian
the youth want the monky to be asian
the youth want the monky to be asian

our market analysis suggests the monky should be asian
>>
i asked a kid at the park what he thought about asain monkeys. You're data is wrong, this youth did not like the idea and in fact seemed to think I was a nonce who was attempting to kidnap him for my rape shed which does not exist
>>
in this episode of soda monkkey sitcom soda joins a kpop band
>>
the song Photograph by the band Nickelback is actually about a guy who carrys around a picture of his ex girlfriend winking her butthole and shows it to complete strangers in public
>>
check out this photo of soda
>>
Butthole winking
>>
confirms
>>
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Who was Wilson Carter?
>>
Do you want confirm this heroic act
>>
He died on acid And them went away
>>
>>10298764
young and hot, please sir!!!
>>
the mank has the ruthlessness of the young
>>
Mank stares coldly at nothing as a forklift truck falls on you and then explodes and your body is flung into an escaltor and devoured by metal teeth
>>
my body is ready
>>
China
>>
"we want the gook ape!"
-teens everywhere
>>
the monkey of the asian persuasion that teens and tweens just love!
>>
"I like that he can't pronounce the letter R"
-Tammy 15
"He has funny slit eyes!
-Tanjiqua 11
>>
barnyard blowout
>>
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What if I'm actually in China?

Your fortune: Average Luck
>>
>>10299422
Could you buy some mao huang and send it to me?
>>
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monkey
>>
did you know that soda being yellow is a reference to asian people? Teens know, and they love it!
>>
brown monky has been dethroned as new yellow monky surges in popularity among the younger audience
>>
>Mank the movie is directed by a guy named Mr. Balls
>>
written by michael bitterbottom
>>
We asked an genuine chinaman what he thought about all this. "You wan rtice wid dat?" said Mr Ho Lee Fuk. "Fri rice 3 dolla"
>>
Yo I got a warning at work for hurting the feelings of a zoomer kid haha this kid hes a lazy retarded fuck and basically thats pretty much what I said lo lanyway yeah monkey shines innit
>>
this week only Soda the Chinese moneky featuring the authentic Chinese uncle played by Uncle Rodger the YouTube fried rice commentary video sensation
>>
I'M A MONKEY SON OF A BITCH
>>
Hardbag style
>>
when i do a dj set for a club i like to through beanbags with those hard plastic beads in them at people who aren't paying attention on the dance floor. You will respect my performance
>>
monkey brand disco club
>>
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qN5zw04WxCc
talkin bout my perianus
My perianus
>>
I have a message for the people of mank thread
>>
and that would be
>>
*audience claps and cheers*
>>
Try and introduce it with strenght next time

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck
>>
Try Not to Poop Challenge
>>
i talk to the mank, my words are all carried away. the mank does not hear, he cannot understand
>>
quite frankly the mank is a nigger
>>
existance is a kind of a fury
>>
hi, my name is mank.
Would you introduce me to more content, please?
>>
>>10300274
Promoted
>>10300279
Kinged
>>10300291
Banned
>>
Like Luther's army
And Abel's brother
You woke to find
Only to smother

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again
>>
too slow, mildly annoyed (2022) | parody spoof | funny
>>
Porn is not good for you
>>
China is right in banning most porn websites with the Great Firewall
>>
Watch the porno burn!!!
>>
>>10300581
Mank doing the ntr dick hoover succ
>>
>>10300637
which porn sites do they not ban? what sort of porn does xi want people to watch?
>>
did a manker just get banned?
>>
it ain't me >starts playing
>>
wait was it me
>>
oh shit bbl i guess lol
>>
the fuck was that
>>
it was the drawing........................ way out of line bros. mank moderators NOT happy about that one. [admins warning]
>>
A manker just flew over my house!
>>
>>10300773
HAHA WHAT
>>
protomank
>>
>>10300775
he's on the shitlist now. mank moderators about.
>>
>>10300778
well this doesn't make much sense
>>
moqer guards, take him away!
>>
protomank: forbidden subplot
>>
>>10300786
super weird
>>
the mank that must not be named
>>
The Protomank Molecule
>>
bitch yo pussy stank, get ya azz banned from mank
>>
The protomank was a genderless marsupial that laid eggs and fertilized them simultaeously. God abandoned us that day.
>>
brittish teen cant stop snoging asiam manks?!?
>>
of u like the monkey so much why don't you just marry her
>>
shotgun wedding
they served boiled crawfish and sushi at the reception
>>
A little back history, I come from a long line of smelly, sweaty women. My own mother used to stink so bad I had nightmares about her stench. She used to tell me that her Mom was just as bad. (I am glad to report, her stink and most sweating went away in Menopause, but I am not there yet.) Regularly, I used to wash my under arms halfway through the day at school or even in the sink when I visiting a friend and reapply anti pers/deo. My sister who had stinky feet, did not have my stinky pits or a sweaty butt, but I did not have stinky/sweaty feet either. I'd rather have the stinky feet. My own kids when they were babies would not nurse from me, if I were too smelly so I'd have to go wash up well before breastfeeding.
>>
and Big Deodorant shows up, every thread like clockwork
>>
a certain someone has been a real nigger lately (it's the monkey)
>>
>>10301125
Promoted, moved to a basement office and then fired
>>
i wont be silenced.
>>
unless it's for money.
>>
10 dollar to shut the frick up
>>
>>10301311
two same numbers!
>>
5 dolla sucky sucky 10 dolla shutup moneky monkey
>>
a concerto in a minor
*conductor scurries away while pulling his pants up*
>>
trainus
>>
Allpay tuna bank
>>
more than just an introduction, a journey
>>
The Journey of One Thousand + Infinity Lifetimez
>>
It was a lifelime ago
>>
A shart in every city
>>
lel mank
>>
Lock Nest Monster
>>
monke mane you ever come to s4s and open the monky thread just to see what it looks like now?
>>
>>10302200
yeah every day
well most days
some days
>>
every fraction of a weak
week I'm here every second in a milisecond
I'm here for every 2 months or so Im
Im here I came just to step, hi! Norway, yes
Here we go to the Sabbath, holy mountain, here I come, here I go, I need to step on the step further above from my step I must go

(This post was user-generated by AI human, negligenced today i eaten ravoli peanut msutard ice bonnets of balls in the winter of)
of my lasgna-eater profesional Garfield you iwent in t he
You went to kick me in the nuptial corn The Fiend
i gaslight woman and men alike sorryMIster Bakery-Sama
>>
quadras of hells I've failed
>>
>>10302222
Breathtaking numbers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHtDtz9Jkto
>>
Four on the floor like a tonka truck
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7Qhow-p-eE
>>
Can you really ever gape an ape
>>
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bust that monkey
>>
>>10302399
which one is D***
>>
the mank oppression is real
>>
>>10302409
I'd give them all the D if you know what i'm saying
>>
Raising money to send military aid to the Japamese monkeys, please donate to the MonkeyMilitia
>>
>>10302432
haha yeah you'd give them some milk which is rich in Vitamin D
>>
not all monkegoers got monkey pox, but all monkey pox patients were monkegoers

coincidence?

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail
>>
Yes
>>
mankfiscate the mongy
>>
Shock the monkey
>>
She's got lips like sasparilla
>>
>>10302399
They tryin to bust!
>>
>>10302206
i think you are not actually monkey mane but just a trickster.
>>
>>10302686
well you're free to think that
>>
i have conclusive evidence that monkey man has posted within the last month. He just comes back to these threads to see if anyone asks who is being introduced so he can chuckle quietly to himself
>>
he better chuckle quietly i don't wanna hear that shit
>>
hamhead mane.................................
>>
hes here, hes queer, and he looks like a steer, get over it
>>
researchers have discovered an antique chinese vase from 1300AD with sodas face etched in
>>
Mank Dynasty
>>
terracotta soldiers but they were really mank
>>
ape cum all up in ya bum
>>
>>10302939
banned + saged + hidden + reported
>>
>>10302939
promoted
>>10302950
banned
>>
Maccabean moments
>>
apegasm
>>
Ape Noir
>>
Gregorian Manks
>>
Ape Rock!!!!
Lets hit the road mankers!!!
>>
Where we goin
>>
down the ooga booga street to maek some noise!!!!!!!

Your fortune: Outlook good
>>
ok if you really are monke mane tell a story from the time you lived on the street
>>
never been there
>>
thnks mank
turnin into mank rn
>>
>>10303464
I told you I never did that
>>
glass shards to your nards
>>
westies to your testes
>>
baboons to your balloons
>>
mutts to your nuts
>>
I'm posting in the monkey thread. Am I in the cool kids club now?
>>
>>10303743
Yeah
>>
>>10303743
poodle to your noodle
>>
>>10303744 (nice dubs)
>>10303745
Heh... as expected of the monkeyposters...
>>
>>10303709
monke mane has told me no such thing.
>>
>>10303746
terrier rhymes with barrier but i can't think of anything to do with that
>>
>>10303747
tell me what he told you and i'll tell you if that was me who told you that

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger
>>
>>10303749
not interested
>>
>>10303746
you're welcome take a tea
*spits venom saliva on it*
>>
>>10303750
i see you were two steps ahead of me on that one
>>
to prove you are monke mane tell me which animal he prefers his crackers to be shaped as.
>>
>>10303752
Heh... thanks... *sips*

AAAAAAARGGH what is this?! Have I, Yuji Sakai, been played for a fool? How could this have le happened?! *le dies*
>>
monke mane you ever let any of your internet friends see enough of your head where they could determine its hammy-ness? are the rumours true or no?
>>
>>10303765
*Buries the Sakai and watch as no one cries for him*
>>
far slush a traject bane spew some dears
>>
>>10303763
Chester Bennington
>>
Today's md5 is
0a8eb67ada309cffd8efd06902100313
>>
>>10297324
Is that an NFT?
>>
>>10303915
You're mom is an NFT
>>
NFT - no fuckin tiddies
>>
how will he ever recover
>>
monkey man, do a little dance for us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0hyYWKXF0Q
>>
>>10303915
yes. send me $5 on paypal then you can save the image.
>>
Sir Cum-for-ants
>>
sorry about that
>>
I remember I went to a brothel on ooga Booga street. The lady was a little short. Not a problem to me. She was a little hairy. No big deal really. She didn't say much. THat's OK I wasn't there for a chinwag..

Anyway turns out she was actually a monkey. I fucked a monkey. A lady monkey. No regrets.
>>
did you gape that ape?
>>
gape the ape to receive dank papes
>>
> Lou Reed - Metal Machine Music
It's cool that he made this but I mean it's literally unlistenable
>>
lou reed monkey transoceanic ludonarrative
>>
>>10304141
lolmao i did not know this album
>>
finna say penismank fam
>>
>>10304200
banned, no option to appeal
>>
ugh
>>
we bustin
>>
penis sex pussy feet girl no panties soda the monkey
>>
Clusters of Morkie polyps and tendrils of clam swarf in a pungent gravy
>>
Very silly. Much retard.
>>
punget gravy vibes
>>
never dance with a manktard you should tell them to die
>>
the wild undulations of the mankdancer are impossible to follow or imitate
>>
adventurous clams
>>
pOrk Tendrils
>>
finna punch a wall
>>
the mank wanders
alone at night
where are his trousers?
>>
monkeys do not wear clothing
>>
the monkey
clad in cloth
his donger exposed
>>
The ancient monkey loin cloth hangs in the temple, the donger of the first monkey forever stained upon the fabric. COupla skidmarks too
>>
you really think about dicks a lot
>>
Ohio
Montana
Manitoba
>>
basinga
>>
it's very apparent that at least half of the mankers here have chinese ancestry
>>
>>/s5s/
>>
>>10304759
this one was too easy to interpret
>>
wait actually i meant too hard
>>
so you say there's a race
of men in the trees
>>
there's rice in these trees
>>
who put it there
>>
T'was Lucas!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUU-jMuikGM
>>
By posting in this thread you are actively condoning racism!
>>
im actively condoning mank
>>
I'm actively holding in a shit
>>
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putting dim sum up my bum bum
>>
steam my buns
>>
just letting it marinate
>>
mankgoers had his mind rife with sicknesses
>>
rife with manks
>>
toilet bowls overflowing
>>
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>>10299443
mire like being whos are invredibaly based
>>
ripping mank
>>
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON JAFFA CAKES
>>
Jaffas for Faffas
>>
>>10305237
yes this is an important part of monkey thread
>>
>>10305359
yes also it's discord and they hate trannies or something
i dunno you keep trying friend
>>
As i've sayed in some other non-mank thread, [s4s]'s shitposting is grounded into naturalism and realism.
Mank threads are some sort of exception, cause it takes the so called "shitposting" to a musical level.

You just need to take a scroll up to see how the mank threads are more bothered in forming soundscapes than anything else.
For this sole reason, mank threads are more acceptive of unnatural or supernatural creatures, as long as they can produce or introduce new sounds.

Your fortune: キタ━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━ !!!!
>>
a lot of times i am just trying to form words into different words so yeah that's fairly accurate
>>
Jefre Cantu Ledesma
>>
kill your morklets
>>
farfadle farfadle tiwddle my twaddle
>>
only the strongest morklets may drink the cream
>>
Sorry nah I threw out all the cream, dumped it in the river, manks can't have any
>>
the cream flows from the nodules of the larger morkers mate it's not in a tub in the icebox
>>
i've been collecting it in tins
>>
morklets clamouring for a pittance of sidecream
i will not be able to afford your pity cream this time morklet jr
>>
i laugh and continue to categorize my various morkcream tins
>>
supernatural cream morkies bottling up their feelings, thas whaddits all about
>>
When you die do your feelings leak out too?
>>
yeah its probably like that
>>
sidecream situation
>>
>>10305450
how would that even work
>>
probably comes out in some form of cream
>>
the secret of the morkcream is revealed
>>
he never answered the questions about wether or not he touched his butt or colon while sidecreaming
>>
carefully removing smell insulator
>>
The anal flute never really got the attention it desrveed
>>
Its actually quite hard to imagine a new kind of sound. Like what would it be? Every kind of sound has already been made.
>>
dub siren + fart
>>
>>10305492
well we can only perceive sounds within a certain range so there's only a limited amount of sounds we can even hear anyway
>>
sample it
>>
>>10305507
yeah but a violin sounds different to a piano for example. Maybe a new instrument that sounds different to anything else that ever existed, like uhmmmmm i dunno maybe some cheese bongos
>>
>>10305510
yeah i know what you mean but it's like we've probably heard that sound and just never categorized it as a cheese bongo
>>
harmonising prolapse splatter
>>
https://youtu.be/Emdd-6gYFaM?t=17
>>
unfortunately we must refer to you as doctor mank from now on
>>
he spent his last day alive sorting his offline media library
>>
died doing what i loved
>>
>>10305360
trying to do what?
>>
the morklets finish their cream and run off to play in traffic
>>
>>10305535
just keep trying
>>
when i was a little morkletoid
i jizzed into some morker cream
>>
Ever since I was a young mank
I bagged the silver bowl
From Gremo's down to Windsor's
I must have bagged them all
But I ain't seen nothing like him
In any sushi bedroom
That deaf dumb and blind mank
Sure makes a mean morker cream
>>
>>10297324
quads or no quads???????????
>>
>>10305556
NO WHAMMY
>>
thry really keep a limbless mank in the pantry and just harvest his cream
All the rich morkers have a panty creamer since they hate expelling their own nodules
>>
truly a sign of weath to have swollen nodules bursting with cream, letting in dribble out everywhere
>>
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>>10305559
thank for habve me on show esfores!
*cuts to head-on commercial mid audience camera switch*
>>
the weak orphan morkelts following you down to promande, lapping up the drips of cream from the hot pavement
>>
Would you care to see my hall of nodules
>>
>>10305562
*pantry creamer
pnaty creaming is a whole nother story Windsor will have to tell you about
>>
>>10305568
present them in picture form now!
>>
>>10305577
no cameras are allowed
>>
>>10305553
gold star sticker-level post
>>
>>10305577
two same number
>>
>>10305579
send coordinaates??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? the masses need for nodules!
>>
NIGGERS
>>
>>10305588
sent ;)
>>
>>10305589
>>>/b/
>>
>>10305611
wow a redirect to /b/ in the monkakeru thread, how rare
>>
pebble, amber, beamless
>>
rude
>>
Niggers could be here...
>>
all nice life is good i enjoy having sex all day long
>>
yo i think munch is chinese
>>
quickier than expected it reaches pebble limit
>>
how can i not love
>>
Let's close this out with a Vibert vibert
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQcIdlTfxGU
>>
sex
>>
what proof you had, show to the police, apology for your crimes
>>
wut
>>
it's shit, you suck- end of transmission
>>
yeah but you're going to reply again
>>
A quick one before the eternal worm devours Connecticut
>>
Is there anything in Connecticut that anyone will miss
>>
>>10305672
This is a song
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8QmPCrC7uXw
>>
When you go to look up a song on the youtube but that old timey rock and roller has died and his family owns the rights to their music and has had all of the official recordings scrubbed from youtube
>>
well when that happens i just don't post a link to that song
because live versions are inferior

oh lawd
>>
Clank settler
>>
well i think the oriental mank was a big success
>>
personally I consider every mank thread a success, hundreds of glorious successes to date
>>
>>10305846
got any final comments on this one before i print the thread and send it to the physical archive?
>>
yeah i just want to say that if you're really doing that then whoever is reading this in the future, you gotta know, there's something really important from this time period that everyone has forgotten about and it's up to you to find out what it is and save the human race, i believe in you, you are stout and brave and beautiful, nobody but you can do it, you're the one, like in that movie you probably never saw because they don't have DVD players in the future. I love you daughter
>>
i was lying i don't have a daughter
>>
she's cute
>>
thank you
>>
just realized I was thinking of that movie The Tomorrow War, disregard that post
>>
i disregard all posts in these threads by default
>>
how do you know when to regard a post
>>
regarded
>>
juice magnet
>>
if i don't post for a few days just know that it was not a worthy experiment
>>
guess nobody noticed, time to regroup
>>
wipe
>>
zip it and tip it



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