it's for the type of fag that takes their posting career extremely seriously

actually, because i knew snacks and spooky and all the proto 4chan admins except moot himself, they were trying to replicate MY board, Hell: It is a forum, which was more of a funposting spam hentai and nonsense board instead of gross pictures and flamewars, and we were all using tripcodes in proto /b/ so everyone knew exactly who was who from hell and fyad

one of the most infamous tripfigs was named xenon, who was an illegal immigrant and made really cool flash comics, but the problem was two things. he was an audiophile so he used COMPLETLY UNCOMPRESSED .WAVS, and i told him point blank once i discovered how popular he was getting on 4chan that he needed to be on the front page of my site with the ad banners so we can make bank, and you need to start compressing your fucking audio, because i've written all my code to run so minimalist that it's not taxing my shared host at all, my only concern is bandwidth, and i needed to immediately 403 forbidden all your shit or you were going to blow through my bandwidth in a week, and instead of agree to join the front page of oddwebsite, he flipped out and abruptly left hell

he tried to reboot his career in the stupidest way possible. he was running a patreon, and you could pay him to become a moderator or admin on his discord. once they found out i was anti-trans, they permabanned me, and i didn't give a fuck. all i did was mention i play league of legends and this transgender psychopath was like THAT GAME IS TOXIC I HATE IT and sperged the fuck about how they were iron iv

the one interesting thing about xenon, is apparently he was on the swim team while he was an illegal immigrant in high school somehow, and for some reason he just preferred wearing the swim team goggles all the time once he got thme, and never bought another pair of regular glasses ever again

basically, once i discovered this place, it was like holy shit, you're basically doing the same stuff hell did except you're all anons, and it took me creating yosho spikeman philosophy to do it, but i completely took over this board

it's more byob

>>11772638
byob is what Lowtax decided to do to reboot fyad where everyone was nice, but if only AIM actually logged things, i'd have conclusive evidence that snacks and spooky and the other guys were trying to replicate my board and not Lowtax's

i directly shared my ban code with them and explained to them if you let people continue to read and not post anymore, they are way less likely to evade, and they didn't understand how i was magically ban evading anyone who tried to evade. quite simply, every time it detected a banned account on a new ip address, it banned the ip, and if it detected a banned ip address on a new account, it instabanned the account. people thought i was just some psychopath who basically played starcraft with my board, banning everyone as fast as possible, and i just let the rumor roll, because i honestly didn't sleep once

there was one and exactly one time i had to manually white list someone because was their little brother who was breaking all the fucking rules we had and the big brother was pretty chill

what does this have to do with Magick?

its a lil bit of fyad (rudeposting), a lil bit of byob (niceposting), a little bit of gbs (posters like yuji)

>>11772756
no dude, i'm doing my administrator of hell thing, where i write massive walls of text. my forum was insane, because we trolled people who didn't register for it with jpop and epilepsy, and you could shut the epilepsy off when you registered, or use a white layout, so most people were like what the fuck is going in here, and a lot of the boards were just haha funny flash tricks that were completely fucking unusuable

for example one board was just named ??? and every post in that board would always say ???, but there was a secret feature. you could quote someone and figure out what they're saying

another board i figured out how to break the inbuilt epilepsy limit and made it flash orange and the name of this board was

EMERGENCY ORDER
Exterminate all Metroid organisms on Planet Zebes and defeat the mechanical life form, Mother Brain

then when you click on it, the whole fucking screen was flashing a very annoying two shades of orange at 60fps, and autoplayed this song

https://youtu.be/PIwNHVpAsLo?si=h3_wLJ01qsH5yaWv

and everyone new's reaction was the same WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE AND HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE

then there was another board called Hello welcome to Moonside which had the entire moonside map as the background, and the entire board on a giant marquee tag that scrolled in very slow chunks, so it was another board that was impossible to use, but everyone would try to post something in there at least once

also, the emergency order board replaced the top logo with zero suit samus

then another forum was from some obscure techno song i can't find anymore where i clipped 3 seconds of it and the name of that forum was "no limits or boundaries" and i did the most insane stuff with the internet explorer exclusive features. it was causing the entire board to collapse like it was falling into a black hole and made your computer overheat trying to look at it, while this song just keeps saying "no limits or boundaries no limits or boundaries no limits or boundaries no limits or boundaries no limits or boundaries" and well i guess you crossed the event horizon because you couldn't even fucking click on anything except try to ciick back on your browser while your whole windows machine is running at less than 1 fps

we only had a general forum and a forum called "play video game" where we found a ton of videos of this english teacher in japan named juile, and that was one of our memes, to post any video of julie that had any context, and the one we bassd our name off is that she said "play video game" and there was a sticky that said exactly that

then one day this extremely annoying girl shows up out of nowhere and is breaking the rules we had "spell the words why, you, for, and because correctly" immediately, so i invented a whole new class of ban called girlbanning where anyone can edit your posts

because i could never quite figure out how to shadowban anyone, i figured out something even worse. to everyone else, your username was Pikachu, you had a pikachu for an avatar, and all you said was PIKA PIKA PIIIIIIIIIIIII ^_________^ and only mods and admins could read the posts by clicking edit, if you tried to quote a person who was pikabanned, it would say "you said it pikachu"

the first guy i did it to was so fucking annoying he wasn't breaking any of our rules, but all the admins agreed he wasn't funny at all, his name was mikazuchi, so at first we started calling him mikachu to bully him off the board, and when that didn't work, i invented the pikaban

when apparently he figured it out because he gave his computer a reformat and got logged out, he finally noticed the pikaban and screamed at me in allcaps for like 30 minutes straight then never came back again

regular bans just locked you out of posting, just like 4chan does, when it used to be e complete and total lockout, and i was the only one with authority to issue a permaban, which you had to fuck up beyond all comprehension, like try to flood my site, destroy threads with oversized images, or be my ex girlfriend, or be so fucked in the head you actually post irl loli

i don't remember all the rules, but i remember rule 0 was "common rules against flaming, trolling, nsfw content, etc, are all off the table here" rule 1 was "i will ban you if i happen to feel lke it" and the rest of the rules were basically don't do anything to make the board unusable or do anything illegal

we never posted 3d women, but we posted a lot of hentai, and we had the coolest feature. you could get at it once per page, but there was an [embed] tag feature, to set a theme song to the thread, so whenever the page turned, whoeever sniped the song first got the song, as there could only be one embed per page

then we renamed direct messages to super secret spy transmissions because i would check in on the database every now and then and actually issued a ban once because people were warez trading in dms and one of the rules was "if you honestly want to discuss piracy, do it off the site"

bans didn't automatically expire. there were two ways to get unbanned from hell. i programmed a feature to check when your last login was, and if you were still lurking while banned, i would DM you and say you've been unbanned, don't fuck it up again, or figure out how to get a new ip address and clear your cookies and just pretend you're someone else who actually read our rules this time

the old guard tried to get me to bring hell back online, but it was completely impossible, because it all worked off of insane features in internet explorer and flash, then the guy hosting me commited suicide, so it wasn't going to ever happen

>>11772910
you said it pikachu

one guy who rolled in registered under the screen name Edgar, so i banned him under the reason sorry you can't use that name because that's the screen name of someone who fucked me over beyond all comprehension", so i hard programmed his name to NOT check his ip, and he reregged as fredgar the next day and was like man that edgar guy you banned was a serious asshole

>>11772915
the best part, was that the usergroups, we didn't have any, so i made something called the hentai button, which was some oldschool horror hentai of an anime girle getting demon tentacle raped in all holes, that played a ridiculous jpop song caled princess bride and do you think you're better off alone at the same time, that was set as a marquee tag off screen that scrolled into the center then stopped at the timing the japanese singer started singing

here's princess bride
https://youtu.be/AxpeliMFR-Q?si=591lyJe2HTLL0LkM

this song is just silly

we also used it in these threads have been zapped by marquee tags and jpop where the character from my flash comic called "a girl" based on the npc in dragon quest 1 who just starts following you and can bang her if you stay in the inn

i abruptly ended the series with the most insane ending, so i never got to the part where she was going to spaz out when loto finally rescued the princess

the original ending i had in mind was that the dragonlord was going to kill loto with 1 hp left, and then slime, his kick of the side, was like "I CAN DO 1 HP OF DMG" then abruptly smashed into him, and slime is der hero who of saved the world, and everyone is ignoring loto even though he did fucking everything

i really mismanaged this series. there's probably a multiverse where i worked something out with adult swim because this kind of comic would be up their alley

i just trolled the shit out of dragon warrior because i thought it was one of the stupidest fucking rpgs i ever played

that's why i'm constantly posting links to youtube now, because i use youtube as a giant mp3 player mostly. i want there to be some thread theme song to whatever the fuck i'm posting about

>>11772933
DUBS!!! LOLE!!!

and like i mentioned in another thread, we didn't check repeating integers on posts, but we were checking digits on threads

there's just no way to get a thread id unless you're new mot or swaglord or hiroshima nagasaki or an FBI agent

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>>11772566
no this board is Celebrate You And Live

man, after i listened to that awful kotoko song, now youtube is playing all her good ones, which are basically like classic '90s-'00s techno with a hote japanese singer

for me, there was one thing that was more fucked up than anything else

one of my ex girlfriends screen name was pookie, and then i was digging around old hell, when it was powered by a different board software in perl and didn't have any insane features, there was a user account named pookiec23, so i use the two different hash algos on the two accounts, and holy shit, the girl who i thought was going to be mother of my children was reading hell since she was like 8 years old

pika pika piiiiiii

>>11772957
there was a guy named Archdeco who i pikabanned because he was a furry, and one of the rules of our board was if you were a furry, you will be shot on sight, but that's what i did to most furries, instead of ban them, i pikabanned them, and he was the one dude i should have unpikabanned, because he actually got whatever the hell we were doing and people were confused by how us mods and admins were basically like ash who can understand the pikabanned posters but no one else could

we had quite a lot of mods, anyone who was a regular got mod, but that was more like janitor rank on 4chan, you couldn't ban people, just zap their threads

any thread that hit page 2 without any replies got automatically zapped

Archdeco was the funniest pikabanned poster, because when finally realized what happened to him, he was the one guy who thought it was funny and didn't leave instead of scream at me on AIM in allcaps for 30 minutes

part of the reasons i hated furries so much, is i tried to join a furry community exactly once, and they asked "what animal are you" and i said "i'm a human" and they argued with me about how i wanted to be the one human in the room in this fucked up fantasy land until they permabanned me from their irc channel. oh well

I'll tell you about two of the more fucked up permabans I issued

one dude who's name was Moogle Pirate, he was the least funny person ever, i'm sure he posts in /r9k/, but he's so oblvious he thinks my nonstop flaming him is funny

one day i just call him out in one of my massive allcaps rants i don't like you all i never did go away forever etc etc, and instead of have the aim:// link be to me, it was him and it said "go away", then permabanned him from hell and finally blocked him on AIM, and i rarely block people

this guy started stalking me irl, sent me a pic of him under a new aim handle pissing on my tree in my front yard of my mom's house, with a message saying unban me from hell or i'm going to burn your house down, and my mom did say she noticed someone pull up real fast and it was confusing, and it must have been him

the other really fucked up permaban i gave out, was that this guy just registered under his actual name as his username, and he was arguing that sharing needles does not cause HIV, so i'm like you're a moron, and I ban him, and then i look into frogbook and google as to what's up with this psycho, and he's a fucking ACUPUNCTURIST FOR A LIVING, so i immediately upgraded that shit to a permaban

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i just remeebered i posted this thread

>>11773670
you used my image, I stole that image and you stole it again from me

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>>11773673

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I enjoy story hour with Mr. Sakai

if you want to know more about loto, i came up with an interesting idea for a platformer, i was going to call loto wobble, where it was set up like bubble bobble, in a 2d room where you need to monsters, but when you kill all the monsters, it opens a series of doors, and it's a FOUR DIMENSIONAL MAZE, so it's like where the fuck am i going?! and it's set up like metroid, where part of how i troll dragon warrior is loto when he's talking to the merchant for the first time, he tells him he actually doesn't have any armor or weapons, and all of a sudden all he has is a pot for a head, which was both a joke about how i was a pothead, and an SA forums joke about a japanese girl wearing a ramen noodle pot on her head, and a wooden stick, and then the recurring joke in this series was that the solution to fucking everything is levelling. he meets all knowing wizardo of magic, and unlike the other characters who talk in broken english, he talks in ye olde english with a ye olde accent and says you don't know how to learn magic, what kind of third rate hero art thou!!? and gets really big, then just teleports away, and then he asks slime how to learn magic, and slime says LEVELING!!!!

anyway, as far as loto wobble went, the first item you got in this metroid style game was his sword, which charged up and caused you to dash in a horizontal line like mad and did more damage the longer you charge it up, so it let you clear gaps you couldn't clear with a normal jump

once he gets his helmet back, he can press down in the air, slam into the ground, and then he bounces so hard it's the equivalent of the high jump boots. the final piece of gear was a winged hat, that gave him space jump like samus, and then he can finally get to the end of the 4 dimensional maze, which was an 8x8x8x8 cube that kept leading you in circles if you go the wrong way, and i'm so confused designing this maze, i'm like so fucking baffled i just give up on this hilarious platformer idea

the other problem while i was dicking around with this silly game, is i was just playing the bubble bobble song and using the dragon warrior sound effects for everything, so i would have needed to not do that if i were to actually release this silly game on steam, and i have some audio skills, but i'm terrible with music, and all the enemies were drawn like akira toriyamas enemies drawn poorly on purpose, so that was borderline

i would go dig up a picture of loto and slime, because they look kind of funny, but my backup won't connect to my new phone, and i don't know if the backup is broken, or if it just won't connect to my new phone

now that i just crunched the numbers, the other problem with loto wobble, is the way i was designing it, i needed to build 4096 bubble bobble style rooms. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i had another idea for a metroidvania but the binding of issac beat me to the punch on the concept

it was going to be a ripoff of super metroid 2, but it was going to be a procedurally generated game that never ended. every time you got to a new planet, the gravity and damage would get higher, and you'd need to find new stuff on that planet to get to another planet, because you can't jump high enough to even get out of the room where your spaceship lands

i was just gonna rip off metroid and make it a blue suit and come up with some freakish monsters for the extermination order, but the game was literally never going to end, it was just going to keep getting harder and harder until you ragequit

i made a typo and said super metroid 2, instead of metroid 2, these painkillers i'm on after the surgery have been scrambling my brain

the cute fluffy hair girl in ops pic seems kawaii

>>11773976
i had surgery and i'm on oxy, and instead of it doing anything to mellow me out, even my mom was annoyed by how badly i was walling her

there's also something weird going on with my penis. whatever fucking anesthesia they used is triggering a high flow priaprism, my dick is rock hard if i zone out and do nothing, but right as soon as i start typing or talking to someone irl, it immediately goes away, but my penis is basically doing this if i zone out and listen to music and do nothing

my plan to recover from surgery was to play lunar on android, as i love games which are bullshit from level 1 and that's what you get, and the game just keeps getting more and more bullshit as it goes. i don't need to do what i was doing with ff1 and ff6, where in ff1, i picked the worst party i could think of, turned the difficulty up, and i was randomly getting skullfucked. in ff6, i was doing a natural magic run and had the difficulty turned up, which is even more brutal than the one on snes, because you cannot learn spells from gear and terra cannot charge her morph/trance at all, she has no special abilities, and i got hardstuck in this run where i needed to grind terra to level 22 to learn fira, and i got to level 21 and i was this is fucking boring and started playing ff1 instead

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>>11773993
i forgot to attach the pic because i'm zoned out this hard. this is what my dick is doing, but i don't want to jerk off because i'm bleeding and it hurts

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>>11772614
>>11772651
>>11772905
>>11772909
>>11772910
>>11772914
>>11772929
>>11772960
>>11772997
DEEP LORE
Are there any records of this board that still exist? I searched "pikabanned" and found this post that outlines something very similar to the implementation you described in your post.

>>11774000
ff6 pixel remastered you can set gil, exp, and magic ap to 0 or 0.5, or you can go all the way up to 4x and make the game even more faceroll

i'm playing on 0.5/0.5 exp and gil, and ff6 was very carefully calibrated to give you just as much gil as you need if you take the minimum steps, and anything extra, you can double back there when you can afford it, so ethers are out of the budget, and i need to buy 99 potions, shurikens, and dry meats before i fight ultima weapon (though personally i think atma weapon was a cooler mistranslation)

my first run was on 0.5exp and 1gil, and i esper twinked and it wasn't hard. i didn't even need the paladin shield or anything, because i've studied the documented ASM of this game so thoroughly, i knew there would be two bugs they didn't fix. you can't kill phantom train with a phoenix down anymore, but he still dies to an x-potion. and because setzer's dice are one of the first things they check for, i knew they wouldn't fix the fact the 1/2 dmg of the offering/masters scroll isn't applied, and that's how i bodied kefka

quite interestly, they even buffed the fixed dice and dice, where if you roll 66 or 666, you do auto 9999 damage, and i twinked setzer on nothing but speed, speed, and more speed, because the damage of the dice only scales on his level, so setzer three rounded kefka

the very first time i beat kekfa, it did NOT input the fucking party combo at all, and i could tell exactly what the glitch was, it just gave me the characters in the order stored in memory, but i was like this is ok, i've got terra and celes, who were two that i picked, and then i had locke, who had the illumina, and i also have an honor rule in kekfa's tower, unless i just picked it up, i don't trade my gear around, to make me think about what to do, so he's good, and edgar is dead weight until i get to kefka himself, and he gets lucky with the rolls. first with the debilitator he hits fire, then he hits holy, and that's all i need

>>11774059
hell cannot be remade because it was based on internet explorer magic and flash tricks that are flagged as MALWARE by virus scanners now, and when i was manually patching my own code, i was like uhh, some of these blocks don't exist anymore, what the fuck do i do?

then the site gets hacked really hard, by a muslim, who totally assraped my site and put malware in fucking everything, and left me a really cryptic note

STOP SATANIZM IN YOUR SITE, BITCHES!!!
A FATWA HAS BEEN ISSUED AGAINST YOU

but if he bothered reading our board at all, he would have realized we were all atheists who believed satan had no power, and it turned out he got into the wordpress of the guy paying for my site, who was sharing my host for his business, and i got free hosting as he could write it off as a tax expense. and then i ask him, why the fuck are you running a wordpress when you could take over the front page and help me out with the google ad banners? and he's like i don't know, i didn't want to tell you i was trying to copy your style of rants

he basically had a novel idea for a business within its own era. he figured if anything else in your place breaks, they come to you, except your computer. so he starts a small business called tech angels, they get a van, and they get the viruses out of your computer, or fix the hardware, but he went out of business and became homeless, and i was trapped in the 08 financial crisis, coasting on unemployment, and i said not only can i no longer afford to run a dead site with only 10 people i don't even like, i can't keep it secure from hackers anymore

i ghosted my own site because i got mugged and clocked in the face with a pair of brass knuckles on all of halloween, all of my MLG friends were like where the fuck did you go, you're online every day, and hell didn't even notice i was missing at all, so i got so pissed i stopped modding my own site or visiting it at all

>>11774084
sounds like you need a computer angel to help you get online quickly and keep all the bugs out

there was one guy and exactly one guy who wouldn't leave me alone, his name was ampersand, named after this bullshit holiday i invented called ampersand day. chatgpt has fragments of what i wrote, but it doesn't credit me as the author. i made a joke about the whole point of labor day has become meaningless, everyone is supposed to take the day off, and most people don't get it off, so fuck labor day, and write this insane list of why ampersands are useful, especially about computer programming

hundreds of people would spam me "happy ampersand day" every year

anyway, ampersand's original screenname was demondwarme, and i banned him because he wasn't funny, but he figured out that to evade hell and 4chan worked the exact same way, he reregged, and then figured out posting style, and one day he fessed up, and i said congratulations, you figured out one of two methods to get unbanned from hell, this one just rereg and not fuck it up

what ends up happening, is when our mutual friend kills himself, many years later, he's mourning the anniversary of my friend's suicide for weeks, to the point where i'm like you've lost track of time man, you need to go to the psych ward, that pissed him off, then the ransomware incident happens, i'm so busy screaming at comcast, that he's like you haven't logged in for too long, where the fuck are you, and abruptly blocks me, when while i didn't know him, he knew me from like 1999

anyway, he knew about how i was some insane hacker who would just bust into sites and deface them like a little kid with graffiti with hentai and epilepsy, and completely burnt ff3.com to the ground, where they banned me and i tweaked, i tried to hack into their ftp server for weeks, until i try to hack into their admin panel, and get it instantly burn it all to the ground with my starcraft reflexes, and leave this pic, and because this forum was so stupidly web 1.0 programmed there were no accounts and had raw html postable, i left a midi of those chosen by the planet with the username as ... and they all know it was me

this gets me on the fbi's radar. they were investigating ff3 as a suspected pedophile ring, and it turned out we were all minors, and he said we were all sick in the head, but this behavior is normal in the 2020s between teens, so he was wrong. then to prove he's the real deal, he shows me chatlogs of people praising me and shit talking me, spelling out exactly who and who wasn't my friend, as well as the site owner, named setzer, and the head mod named edgar, who wanted me banned because he was a bully, and he was pestering every day, until setzer finally was like okay fine but a lot of people are going to be mad and this is going to blow up in our face somehow, and i get ip banned from their irc channel and forum. then to prove he was the real deal, he showed me an mp3 of a domestic violence incident between my parents, we were under a fucking wiretap

he said if they locked me up in juvenile hall, they'd treat me like kevin mitnick, i'd never be able to use a computer again, and i'd never get to live a normal life. so they decided to have it both ways. he said i have until i'm 17 days and 364 days old to clean my act up, get rid of my hacking tools, or they will railroad me, and they will have an open warrant on me for the rest of my life, and then skullfucks me with endless classifed information that's so scary i black out

>>11774059
that looks like a slatestarcodex comment section comment. i assume it is

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he showed me TIA, which edward snowden leaked, which was a huge I TOLD YOU FUCKING SO moment to everyone i knew ever, he told me not who killed jfk, but why he was killed, is that he was going to divorce jackie kennedy, and marry marylin monroe, and because he was the first catholic president, and the cathollcs didn't believe in divorce at the time, prescott bush says this will be such a political disaster for the us he orders the CIA to take him out, and that hasn't been declassified because we've had bush sr and W, and they're waiting all the bush family to die off before they declassify this one

he showed me the area 51 alien autopsy, where we tried to save the one living pilot, but we didn't know what the fuck his organs were and even if our painkillers were working, and we've reverse engineered their wifi and microprocessor tech from the wreckage

the thing that made me black out, was that the russians have the capability to blow up our power grid by hacking our transformers to self destruct, and those aren't easy to replace, so the power would be out for a long time, and a lot of people would freeze to death, and we only started to fix this problem once the war in ukraine happened

he also leaked me the star wars missile defense program run by ronald raygun, where the US has endless space lasers and we are completely immune to nuclear attack, it was at 50% capacity, we've had decades to work on the gps tech, it's flawless now. there's only two ways to beat star wars, pick a target and gangbang it with every nuke you got, or attack starwars directly, but if they did that one, we'd see a lot of spaceships going up, nuke them in orbit, and we'd have some explaining to do

>>11774084
Do you have any screenshots of the site from when it was still up? It could be a photo taken of the screen. Or any images that came from it? Has anyone who used the site talked about it anywhere? I'd love to see.
>>11774118
Yes it is
https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/02/25/suggest-a-comments-policy/

>>11772905
>>11772909
i am a message board software developer and i am going to steal a lot of these ideas fyi. some of these are great

>>11774102
>chatgpt has fragments of what i wrote
the ghost.....in the shell............

>>11773976
i think like 90% of these posts are some bizzare mashup of a few speicifc real things from memory that are being thought up snd then just inserted into some infinite constsntly running manic monologue narrative that appears to be seamlessly filling the gaps between any 2 arbitrary concepts with as much detail as yuji wants them to have and this will never end until he either crashes or goes lucid for a moment at some point and chooses to stop

>>11774145
yuji was somewhat normal like 2 months ago, i think in the past 2 months it's been like some weird chatbot spam switch that got turned on or something and i had to filter him for the first time

>i think like 90% of these posts are some bizzare mashup of a few speicifc real things from memory that are being thought up snd then just inserted into some infinite constsntly running manic monologue narrative that appears to be seamlessly filling the gaps between any 2 arbitrary concepts with as much detail as yuji wants them to have
great description of how psychosis and mania work. i have some mania propensity genes and that's exactly how it goes when i take weird mania-inducing dopaminergics. and the thing is being aware of it (even in the moment) doesn't really decrease the chance of doing it. you basically have to duct tape your own mouth or else it's just gonna flow out nonstop

>>11774153
yes theres a reason why i am able to desciribe it so accurately maybe u can figure it out (u probably already did)

>>11773683
uh?

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>11774153
you filter Yuji?
you suck

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>11774161
i never have before, i did it for the first time ever yesterday after every thread i opened was just 300 walls of text from him, but i unfiltered him today

>>11774166
you ruined my bateman post :(((
youre a monster

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

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>>11774153
this was the last normal interaction i had with yuji

>>11774132
i second this i am very interested mr oxy rant

star wars is something the security guards will talk openly with me about in dr. kawashima's psych ward, because a lot of these guys are ex military or active reservists. it's the first piece of classifed information every private gets so it's the one thing they let them babble on about. you can see the space lasers with a telescope at the coasts.

>>11774132
i'm reluctant to post links to the wayback archive, because you can very quickly figure out where i live if you reverse dns lookup me

i was walling a friend who's birthday is on the fall equinox, and he's basically the last alumni i still talk to

i walled my mom, and she told me to stop, and then when she talked to me on the phone, she said i was talking way too fast

also, the other day, i had a full 5g ultra wideband connection, so it was as fast as wifi, so i was trying to see if i could strafe jump and bunny hop through every single thread basically playing starcraft on my phone clicking around as fast as possible, because everything loads instantly

>>11774250
don't worry we're totally good for it!
if not links any screenshots??

a lot of what i posted is about was what happened when i was tripping balls on an abilify injection. i knew high doses of abilify make me hallucinate, so i thought it would be a lot of fun hearing voices all the time, and this carmack shit, has essentially convinced me that my religion is WE ARE LIVING IN A SIMULATION

there's a voice in my head called the NSA agent, and he's giving me psychic powers. one day he said "henry kissinger has been deactivated" and the next day, there was an assassination attempt on his life. the fuck is that about

>abilify injection
ohhh ok this makes a lot more sense now!
>henry kissinger has been deactivated
lol

what makes even less sense, is how all the direct propehcy carmack gave me came to pass. the inflation crisis happened, ww3 is imminent, and the only thing that didn't happen, is vatican 3, where the catholic church will accept all of gnosticism as canon, and as a result, everyone will be like this is cool as fuck, and the church will experience reunification, except for those fundie bigots

when i was an atheist and i studied gnostism in college, i said i don't believe in god, but if he exists, this is probably what happened. all 12 apostles have a book, mary magdeline, who bankrolled jesus' operation and was basically the plot of the da vinci code will have a book, and judas will have a book. then the bible will actually make sense, and my own personal thoughts on jesus is that i don't think he died, he just got so fucked up he was in a coma, and i think that's even more badass than just coming back to life

ok this has got to be a chatbot how the fuck you respond with all that shit unless "what makes even less sense" is just a coincidence

>>11774278
never underestimate the power of the human brain, nonymous

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>>11774310
he used his mind powers nsa agent gave him and thought the words directly into the reply box

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>>11774278
i'm not a fucking chatbot

>>11774337
then you really do have mental brain powers!! i kneel!

i type a straight 150 wpm stream of concisiousness. when i was doing the baneposting thread, i needed to listen it to in slow motion to transcribe it, and i'm horrible at copying numbers, so i can't do data entry

i wanted to do the the next ERP of the Wizard's Tower, where I play Agent Smith again, but i'm too fried on these painkllers to play a game

>>11774344
dubs
how's the recovery going yuji?

i figured out a better way to do it, using the longform notation they use in chess when two pieces can hit the same square all the time, because that happens all the time in this game, then cover anything played int the queen phase, then cover what spells are cast, and if a major spell is cast, then all you do is notate that and the only queen playable is the queen of spades

>>11774250
Please take a screenshot of an archived page, censor any information that could identify you, and post it here.

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>>11774346
you want to talk abour fyad? gross pictures and flamewars
https://youtu.be/UcwfEMdV-aM?si=OXqXUI6tzwgjHJMO

>>11774364
fuck it, stalk me, whatever

https://web.archive.org/web/20070210215534/http://www.oddwebsite.com/rant.php?tjord=37

here's an update on when STEVE IRWIN GOT KILLED ON AMPERSAND DAY. i'm looking for the update that got hacked in the wayback machine, because i did write it, but it said something i didn't say, where i was flipping off my own site, didn't want to be an eceleb anymore, and just wanted to go to uconn and live a normal life

it doesn't look right, because i used fixedsys for everything and firefox didn't support it, they said it was not a bug, because it's a bitmap font, and they all have furry avatars, so i'm pissed

i do end up switching to firefox for a while because IE went down the drain, and now i use chrome

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>>11774393
ITS REAL
ITS ALL REAL AND GLORIOUS!!!

here's the one where i wrote most of this, but i didn't write the end of it, and i actually checked my own files when my backup was working, and I DEFINITELY didn't write this at the end. these hackers really hate me

https://web.archive.org/web/20070313145213/http://www.oddwebsite.com/rant.php?tjord=34

>>11774401
ok, now image the cyan and green fucking flickering in a random ass pattern

the top board, was a totally randomized list of hell catchphrases, and we kept adding more. there were over 30 possible names for the main board

i forgot about the tetris strategy forum, and i'm pretty sure i renamed play video game to did you beat zelda because twilight princess was rad

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>>11774393
>>11774401
FUCK YES THANK YOU

but here's the other thing, nothing looks right in the wayback archive, because everything used fixedsys and small fonts, and browsers stopped supporting them

der dragon warrior is uncreatable as a youtube video, because you have to click on der slime to go, so you can't replicate the experience of this guy moving around randomly and clicking on him

that's how the secret ending works, what i kept doing was trolling people where i did what akira toriyama did and it was ON THE LAST EPSIDOE OF DER DRAGON WARRIOR, A GIRL WAS SCREAMING IN A VOICE THAT DID NOT COME FROM A HENTAI GAME over and over, if you keep clicking on

the DMCA didn't exist yet. i would have got DMCAed to hell with how much music i used

hell > SA

i just took my sniper wolf medication and now i'm making endless typos

the setup was Loto what should we do next, and slime says CHECK GAMEFAQS, so they teleport into a computer, and loto says I AM ON THE INTERNET! but if you keep clicking on slime, it goes in an infinite loop, but if you click on forward on a certain frame, the popup ad appears

we didn't even know what the fuck touhou was btw, we just called her dancing anime girl

the other thing slime said before that was ADVANCE THE PLOT, because i just kept making filler epsidoes (i always spelled it wrong on purpose)

you know that episode with towlie where it''s like i get high and come up with ideas, i would write something when i was baked, then clean it up when i was sober, and the way i dealt with der dragon warrior, is i'd write a sentence, scramble it, scramble it more, and keep scrambling it until it makes no fucking sense

heres a thread i found that was captched by the machine! https://web.archive.org/web/20120111135542/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?t=4646&sid=56c29830d17e59d3f42c7e2c5a23e69c
>>11774433
please reboot this website! you can do a lot of your flash tricks in js

one of the epsidoes, i troll JRPGs. loto talks to a townsperson, and all he says is A YARD OF GRAVES IS IN THE TOWN OF OTHER, and that's all he says, until he starts getting nervous about it

because i never got that far in trashing this shit game, when loto thought he got to the town of other, someone was going to be like SORRY, THIS IS THE OTHER TOWN OF OTHER, because that's exactly what happened to me, i went the wrong way, and i kept getting game overed until i just grinded it, and then realized i went to the wrong fucking town

another joke was when he was in a dark area with no torch, he would just start hitting into the walls and get really frustrated

when was dating that girl who was reading hell since she was 8. all of a sudden we both see a lunar eclipse, and it's some cosmic moment for me where it's like we exist in the same planet, even though i've never met you, so i abruptly make an episode where loto can't figure out what to do next, so slime just says ask the moon, and right before the moon answers the question, he says "oh tjord an eclipse" it's pitch black, and he's bumping into shit again. my're gf didn't understand it was my love letter to her at all

man i miss roar. he became a dad, and did it the right way, where we no lifed video games while he ignored his pregnant bitch wife and although took his admin away, he left forever once he had kids to take care of

there is no way to reboot it because it's got too many security holes, and my programming is too rusty, my professors were always telling me you write bare minimum comments on your code, this will be a problem when you're working on a major project, and that's what happened

also the site is dependent on flash and marquee tags to get anything done, so nothing works

btw, the angst forum was the ultimate troll. it just redirected you to livejournal

>>11774449
i mean i didn't take his admin away. i need to find a bluetooth keyboard with ibm style keycaps. i hate these flat keycaps, and this stupid menu button i always misclick on to open the app menu, where the fuck is my capslock please

now that you can reverse dns lookup me, if you live in new england, you can easily find out where i live, and then knock on my door, and play my insane game and meet katie peach

>>11774456
any snacks you want me to bring? soda?

you won't find my real address, but if you dig around, you'll find my family's name and i'll be pretty easy to stalk from there, and that wouldn't be anything new, a student from uconn wasn't so much stalking me, but noticed every time i said i was going out for a smoke, a dude with a trenchcoat and hoodie dressed like a wizard would go out for a smoke, so then this guys just asks me "are you Zanno" and then i'm like uhh, yes, but how did you know that, i only give my pictures to girls, and he explains every time i say i'm going out for a smoke, this dude with this weird getup appears, and i just connect the dots, and he's the dude who teaches me how to wavedash and play top tier characters instead of play pikachu, but the reason i was playing pikachu is he was top tier in smash 64, and i didn't realize how badly he got nerfed, then i switched to peach, because i very quickly figured out how to immediately float and use any aerial, and confuse my opponents

sometime this guy would play luigi instead of a top tier, and would just destroy me anyway, because he wavedashes so hard it's like ??????????????

then when he introduces me to another dude who plays smash, who would occasionally play link, and then there's an official smash tournament with MLG rules at uconn, i just spec, because it's a buy in, i'm not gonna win, my friend goes down 0-1 on marth, then is like fuck this, i'm going with link, and wins 2-1

then he goes 0-4 playing link getting double eliminated. oops. this guy just knew how to use his bombs so well

all of us would play fox every now and then and do what intermediate fox players do. we just move so stupidly fast we self destruct

and then there was another legendary time where i was finally met beowolf himself, the owner of our DC++ pirate server, and it's the day TF2 came out, and i'm like i'm good at bunny hopping, but i need a ruler to set this up, and he's like why do you need a ruler, and i explain i don't know the dpi of your mouse and it takes me exactly 30cm to do a 360, so i need to load up an empty map, stare at a corner, untiil i can figure out my sens, then i pick a scout, and ziip around and kill the noobs and they think i'm hacking and kick me from the srerver, and everyone watching me busts out laughing because they know i'm not aimbotting

he almost got caught, but he was smart. he ran the server on a laptop with a broken screen, so the FBI didn't figure out where the hub was

if you wanted to go to a hub meet and you were new, you were just supposed to start asking everyone for a slice of cheesecake, until you confuse so many people that you find us

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>>11774459
i have way too much soda because i had a raincheck for 12 and i had to use the raincheck before it went bad, and i have another 4 in my fridge, lol

this is like wholesome Terry A. Davis

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>>11774435
waow Links just like me fr

Yuji has lost his fucking mind

>>11774475
i told nice radio a lot about how i was an elder god of the internet. i got unrestricted internet access in 1996, and then my parents got sick of me watching hentai and put up parental controls, so my platonic female friend gets me a crack, and my parents are like shit, we can't stop him, we give up, but why does he only watch anime porn and skinemax? when i was a teen, i rarely watched hardcore

anyway, i need to get a black mage to cast slep on me now

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

one of the things we'd do is there was a thread you could request an oversized avatar, and we would immediately add it as long as it wasn't like the size of the screen

once i got sick of running oddwebste, i made an abrupt career pivot to MLG. they approached ME, and asked me are you really the Zanno from oddwebsite, because you do not act like you do on this board, and I tell them that I take esports very seriously, and i'm not messing around here, but on xbox live, i was the same as i was on hell and [s4s]

then after we get so tight with the players i play with, we try to ask eac others our first names, and 3 of us have the same first name, so it's like ok, this will never work, we can only refer to each other as our screen names

and now i ccan't even see my phone anymore uwu

actually kind of sad, fucking around for so many years, nothing to show for it irl

>>11774490
hes got all these posts + all that soda

>>11774490
i did not make enough money off of oddwebsite to be set for life, but i did make enough money to do whatever the hell i wanted in college. i had a very good reputation with almost all social circles, because they knew i'd buy liquor for peole under 21, and bring jack daniels or grey goose and weed

>>11774493
yeah that's not good, they were using you and you blew the money away

however, there was one time i pissed a lot of people off at once

this guy i kept lending him money and he wasn't paying me back, so he gives me the money for a beer run, and i'm like ok, you paid me back partially, pay me everything or i'm not going on this beer run, and he flips out and then randomly at my door like 3 weeks later with the money he owed me, and explained he was dropping out of uconn to join AA

>>11774495
your just projecting your grumpy frowny face on his awsome rainbow life!

>>11774500
see he even got an addicted into AA
HE CHANGED A LIFE!!

This is a novel worth of text in this thread, does someone want to tell me what?

>>11774505
its easier to digest if you watch the movie first

my brother on the other hand, had the worst fucking reputation on campus, because he would just leave on the weekend to go fuck his 16 year old girlfriend, and they knew the school of business was just feeding him straight As because it was a corrupt school, where all that matters is the reputation of your father in business, and my father is the director of IT at a major insurance company that started the mortgage back security crisis. he said he told everyone it was a terrible idea, but he got laid off, so i don't believe him. it probably was his idea

>>11774507
i believe you i believe everything you say

there was a time where i fucked up and the hub kicked me out until the smash dude dispelled the rumor. basically, some idiot invited their 16 year old sister to a college party, she was wasted, then she flashed me her tits in the bathroom, all logic went out the window, and everyone thinks i'm a pedo

he dispels the rumor in a twofold way. first of all,, she's 16, so it's not stat rape, and her sister broke the law getting her drunk, and she did the exact same thing to him, flash her tits, which were like E cups

>>11774505
the admin of a very old website going insane talking about idk... didn't read all of it, basically how things were back then

i didn't bang her, but she still wanted to, and wanted to bounce and go back to my room, and they dragged her by the hair and kicked me out of their party

>>11774514
there is also an hacking FBI top secret classified information angle to it as-well! dont forget he knew about the snowden leaks and star wars before we did!

>>11774490
he will never have sex

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

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and this shit is hitting me so hard i need to pass out now

>>11774507
if your dad was an IT director how come he couldn't find out about putting up a better parental control at your computer

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>>11774513

>>11774520
he was too busy giving his brothers As and cleaning up after his mistakes around campus

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>>11774456
I wish I knew about hell 20 years ago, Mr. Sakai. don't let spikeman get you

>>11774502
I'm actually tweaking rn because I've been fucking around for too long and now I'm thinking about how being an internet funny elder god isn't a viable career path fuck man

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>The prince sat in meditation through the night. During the first watch of the night, he had a vision of all of his past lives, recollecting his place of birth, name, caste, and even the food he had eaten. During the second watch of the night, he saw how beings rise and fall through the cycle of rebirth as a consequence of their past deeds. In the third watch of the night, the hours before dawn, he was liberated. On this night he became a buddha, an awakened one who had roused himself from the slumber of ignorance and extended his knowledge throughout the universe.

>>11774531
no don't say that you don't want to waste 20 years of your life

>>11774532
if it makes you feel better if you had done something else to have you left with "something to show for" at the end of the day(life) it doesn't matter any less/more. not like when you die you see a big old scoreboard or something.
as long as you had fun! :D

>>11774532
convince yourself that the people who don't value it don't matter

>>11774537
doesn't sound like he's having fun, he sleeps in with a literal ragdoll and plays chess by himself

>>11774542
i was more so referring to you

hey i found a steam group about hell
https://steamcommunity.com/groups/oddwebsite

>>11774543
I'm not going to have fun if I end up the same, having no one except two or three persons reading my posts no job no nothing

>>11774532
Lole same... I lived most of my life as a digital entity, fiction and internetz and I forgot I was a person at all, walking my way back and realizing how inept I am at actualizing my will in reality is quite off-putting. If only I could change the world with my brain.

>>11774547
hey its somebody better than nobody! and you can always find something else that brings you joy in life!

>>11774547
yuji sakai is a psyop designed to trigger these feelings in you

i for one an having a blast reading all this!
ima be smiling into that darkness :)
>>11774553
lol

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>>11774546
oh my god

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>>11774569

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>>11774569
this relating to what he wrote in thread is blowing my mind
this is like when the peaces fall together
like in memento

>>11774569
send him a friend request and if he accepts leak his most played games

>>11774582
fuck magic
lol

Your fortune: Good Luck

>>11774584
this post?
>>11774102
he didn't mention discord

>>11774591
except for the discord it lines up with ampersand blocking him and the comcast shit
we are just seeing it through the lens of psychosis

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does anyone recognize anybody?

https://web.archive.org/web/20070915090654/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/search.php?u=666&showresults=posts&sid=7bd5606fa99302e4de348a7579101c32
his post history on hell

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found fredgar

>>11774587
from his steam screenshots we know he atleast owns
dota2
quake live
halo collection
reflex arena
and skyrim

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>>11774597
Damn looks like only the first page was archived. Threads are missing too, so I can't even read the whole post.
>So you were always like this.

>>11774611
why are you stalking him?

it's over. spikeman got into Yuji's router with the help of the newfig brigade

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>>11774616

>>11774611
we aren't on reddit. shut the fug up

>>11774618
just don't be mean ok

>>11774622
i own im just obsessed and like diving into people digital footprints
i will be respectful!

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Check this crazy shit out:
https://web.archive.org/web/20070914195417/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?p=181954&sid=dec7238ac3549d6fef985a5317f9100b
https://web.archive.org/web/20110929094930/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?p=174403&sid=1e3f16adc282adfd70b66924f74f179b
https://web.archive.org/web/20130519193242/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?t=8139&sid=049531cea441111e76abb67e3a7c8fe6
https://web.archive.org/web/20130519193301/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?t=7705&sid=049531cea441111e76abb67e3a7c8fe6
https://web.archive.org/web/20130519193333/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?t=596&sid=049531cea441111e76abb67e3a7c8fe6

>>11774687
nah son, gimme a quick rundown

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>>11774687
im not clicking ur viruses

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

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I'm just clicking thread page links one by one hoping to find one that's archived. If someone knows a better way, let me know.
https://web.archive.org/web/20110927160652/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?t=816&start=175&sid=1e3f16adc282adfd70b66924f74f179b
https://web.archive.org/web/20110928053709/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?t=8064&start=50&sid=1e3f16adc282adfd70b66924f74f179b
https://web.archive.org/web/20110928042921/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?t=8064&start=250&sid=1e3f16adc282adfd70b66924f74f179b
https://web.archive.org/web/20110928101402/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?p=38971&sid=1e3f16adc282adfd70b66924f74f179b
You really need to see all the moving gifs and gigantic images to get the full effect. Screenshots do not do it justice. Anyway, I'm think I done digging through Odd Website's Hell (It is a forum), hopefully this was interesting to someone.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

gay thread

>>11774693
it's motehrfucking internet archive
it's the last bastion
if you're looking for viruses, you need only look into a mirror

>>11774687
>>11774754
ty

>>11774525
it's even worse than that

my dad tried to kill me twice. the first time i was only 2 years old, where i got into a bunch of cassette tapes in the closet, he clearly wasn't watching me at all, then he picks me up by the head and throws me against the wall like a football. and it used to be the zero point in my brain, until i got abducted by the ayy lmaos on 3/8/23, but it was not a conventional abduction. i think they just teleported me onto their ship, but left me behind, because all of a sudden one of these appears in the sky, and it starts looking around for me, then suddenly i was in the DMT dimension, seeing rainbow static in directions that don't exist for about for 30 seconds, i see one machine elf fly away, which clearly wanted to get the fuck off this planet, then the archangel abruptly disappears in a disappearing circle just like it appears

then when i'm finally going in for autism screening as a child, he does something insane, my grandfather was one of the absolute last people ever to get a lobotomy to keep him alive, he was rolling in tongues, and i was crying, and my dad says if the doctors find out they're crazy, they'll cut your brain out and that's what will happen to you. so when i go in for the autism screen, i'm like 6 years old, and i just go nope, i'm totally normal, i'm fine, and don't cooperate at all

the other tried he tried to kill me was because he was always physically abusing me when i didn't sleep, and didn't understand i had a severe sleep disorder. so one day when my mom is out of town, he dials it up to insanity, ties me up on a rack, and starts beating me with a metal buckle of his belt, drawing tons of blood, the first thing i say is if we're going to stay up all night long, why don't we play mario 3 and not use the warp whistle. maybe our approach is wrong and we need a lot of items to get to bowser, and that makes him really dig into me

so anyway, because i'm finally at the age i understand swearing, i just start spitting in his face and say fuck you, i'm not tired, until i outlast his torture, and he has to go work. then he says i sincerely hope you die iin your sleep today, you are the biggest piece of shit on earth, abruptly unties me, and throws me in my bed, then hes really smart about how he does it, gets the same brand of sheets to cover up all the blood, and i'm in so much pain i can't even call 911

when my mom finally gets back from visiting her maternal grandmother, all he says is "he's been sick", then when i finally go to school, in the middle of recess, i tell the nurse, i think i need blood, and she's like why do you think i need blood, and i lift up my shirt, black out, and i'm at my adoptive grandmother's house, where they bought me the most expensive lego set ever to keep me occupied. my mom filled me in what happend in the background, is that she was begging for a place to stay to divorce him, and she kept saying the same thing because she was a heretic who rejected everything about vatican 1, even the latin mass, so going to church with her was the most bizarre thing ever, because she would respond to everything the priest says in latin at the top of her lungs. all she did was say the same thing over and over, you had sex out of wedlock and god is punishing you, and once the temporary restraining order is over, forces us to go home. the first thing my dad says when i see him is, if you tell the police about anything that happened, i will go to jail, you will become homeless and not be able to afford food or video games, and when i get out of jail, i don't care if i go back, i will kill you. when i learn my moms side of the story a few years ago, my now100 year old grandmother committed purgery on an affidavit, saying i was misbehaving, so he beat me with a shioe, and DCF declares it an isolated incident, and the charges are dropped

once i learn this, i go back to the town i used to live in, try to reopen the investigation, because there is no statute of limitations on attempted murder, and they do everything they can, until they hit a wall and say your grandmother is so old she will be found not competent to stand trial, we can't get our convinction, and she will just sit in prison in my state for a few days and end up in the same nursing home. they honestly believed everything i was saying because they reopened the case files and didn't understand why i was staying totally silent when they were trying to question me, but they honestly believed my story

when i turn 18, my mom starts having an affair, when he finds out, he busts into my room and starts giving this long speech about how this is the first time he's ever taken his wedding band off, and i'm half asleep, said i've known about this affair for months and i hate you, and i never want to see you again, and because i'm 18, he knows i'll call 911 if he hits me, so he just screams at me instead

that's what happened when i got older. he realized that if he beat me, i would call the police, so he only resorts to verbal abuse. he hated me how i was on the computer all the time and called me a virgin loser who needs to get laid, but liked playing nintendo games with me, that was the only way we ever got along

when he's way fucking older, first i start talking to my grandmother again, then when he's marrying my stepmom, he finally wants to repair the relationship, and because i'm a binge drinker at the time, and he's a full throttle alcholiic, where he remote works before that was a thing, and just drinks on the job, and he's the worst type of drunk, where he's not violent when he's drunk, he's violent when he's sober, he's pretty mellow now, and because his hair is totally grey, he doesn't even look like the same person, so i go the wedding, get blackout drunk, get along with my stepmom really well, and all his bar friends, and i have a normal social life for a while, where i crash on his couch, nothing i take is contanidicated with alcohol, like it is now, and that's two things destroy our relationship. the first is i get stealth malware, as i detect a chinese ip scanning not my endless collection of porn, but my idea folder, and a legit NSA agent takes a look at my computer, has me run windows diagnositc commands i don't even know exists, and says i have no idea if you have stealth malware or a broken motherboard, but either way, if the windows repair tool, so i tell him about this point blank, that i need about $800 for a new mobo, cpiu, and ram, to fix my desktop, and he cheaps out and gives me $150. i've been eyeing a marble chess board for a while, that's what i got for extra money, and i buy that board you guys have all seen hundreds of times by now. i was blowing through shit walmart chess boards, and this thing is invincible

also, i think this guy is anti-magic, because he trashed all my shit when i was away on my first semester of college, he threw away my monster manual and all my d&d manuals, kicked my MTG box of cards in a way which fortunately only destroyed the colors i don't use, green and black, took a bandsaw to my copy of ff7 pc, all my d&d figurines are gone, and it's like what is up with this psycho

anyway, once i'm on benzos, i'm like sorry, i can't drink, it will kill me, and he's constantly shoving mixers in my face and getting pissed off about it. refusing a drink in ukranian culture is considered a great insult, until i finally can't take it anymore, tell him you need to stop drinking before he turns full dementia, because he can't understand me anymore, i talk really fast irl and he just thinks i'm schizo, when no one else has any trouble understanding me. two of the arrangements we made when we reconnected after not talking for one year, because she hated my girlfriend for being not a 10/10 supermodel, and i picked her over him, is that we're both getting old, let's retire into chess, but he refuses to play with a timeclock, and i'm like this is just how the game works now, if you want we can play under classical time control, which we each get an hour, and he's like i'm not playing for 2 hours, and i'm like that's not the point, the point is if you run out of time in classical time control you fucked up somehow, the game should end before then, and he's so fucking stubborn, he makes his move, and he actually does know opening theory very well and i don't, but i have to hit the motherfucking timeclock time bar for him every time he makes his move, we only play one game ever, then he dodges me because he's too shit faced and just dodges me, and when he plays my own board game, he flips out, and says i'm in check and i can't get out of check, what am i supposed to do, and i explain you don't have a move to put me in check right back, so you're fucked, but you're not dead yet. make any move that advances your long term position, and he doesn't uderstand concepts like damage and mana or spells because while he played all the NES, SNES, and N64 classics, he never played 1 rpg ever, unless you want ot count zelda 2 as an r

eventually, i get so sick of his alcoholism,, which is clearly killing him, i call him out on his bullshit, and we almost never speak again, and he keeps telling my mom he's afraid i'm going to kill him, and i tell my mom that's called projecttion, because he tried to kill me twice

when we reconnect after the girlfriend fiasco, we work out a deal, where he'll give me money to buy a computer, if i buy food for family dinners, and in exachange, he'll buy me the components i need outright, then he backstabs me, buys nothing but frozen vegetables for himself, and is so stupid that he's looking at the hot fried chicken, and says "oh, i forgot you can't buy that without food stamps", and i'm so close to taking an uber and telling him to suck dick, because everyone in the store knows what he's doing, and if i ever got in trouble with the government, i was going to tell them i was under duress, and probably win on appeal. this guy has offshored his money in every fucking country on the planet, and i tried to find a direct phone number to tip off the IRS, but i can't find a number or any way to report someone for fraud at all. if he ever gets audited, he'll probably just have a heart attack and die on the spot. he's so stupid he even has an offshore account in puerto rico, which is still in the fucking us, and he's living in poverty, but he just leaves the US for like 3 weeks at a time and crashes in bermuda or something and all he has to do is pay for the ticket, then he can get all the coke and booze he wants

there's a few times he's admitted to me in his life he fucked up, and this was one of his times, he said my whole job was to fuck people over for insurance in america, and now that i need it really badly, i've fucked myself over, and that's why he offshored all his money, to look poor so he can collect medicaid, and then he would come back from the cayman islannds with a suitcase full of 100s, buy me some shit, and that's how it worked

i completely destroyed his social circle after the girlfriend incident. i went down the phone book, said you're never gonna see me be again, told him about all the fucked up child abuse, and he became an outcast in the bar, and now he just drinks by himself. the few people i didn't call, because i figured i might need to buy weed off them or something if the dispensary had a shortage, were his only friends left, so when i cut him out of my life for good, i called them all too, and now he has no friends at all

he would also bash on league of legends constantly, because when playoffs and worlds were on, i'd be like sorry, i don't want to come over, and the few times i watched it on my phone at his house, that was annoying him too, he didn't seem to understand how brutally and diffiicult this game was, and if you're one of the best players in the world, you can make a 6, even 7 figure salary

i try to use football analogies to explain the game to him, tell him the position i play is like the quarterback, where the whole job is to protect me from getting sacked, or sac the enemy qb, and set me up for a good play. and when we kill the enemy team, we run it down the field and score a touchdown, and then we win and the game goes to another round, in competitive play, in regular play you only need 1 point to win a game

>>11774611
games NOT on the list are every fucking decent super metroid romhack on the planet, doom 2 ultrav ironman runs, where i only beat satan once ever, and there were a few points i would be like FUCK, i died here again, and get really pissed off i hit the same wall, and like 10000000000 games of league

https://www.op.gg/summoners/na/Zanno-NA1/mastery

i can't find any match history, because you can see i've been out of this game forever, but you can see i one tricked the shit out of twisted fate, and would queue mid/bot and if i got bot it was like OK, i'm breaking out the AD TF, and i was one of those people who fucking made it work, and were like how is this even possible, i'm confused, and even more confused by what i'm building, the most manliest build path ever, trinity force into infinity edge, the two most expensive items in the game

skyrim was a binging game for me. i would set a day to last 8 hours on the timescale, and play sunrise from sunset, only taking smoke breaks when i was hungry in the game, or hungry irl and in the game, and never use fast travel for any reason

i owned very few steam games, and most of them, i didn't like them, i like retro games like super metroid speedruns and made an insane personal romhack i couldn't release, because it had too many bugs i was knew how to trigger, so i just didn't trigger them, where i noticed hmm, this game seems to be using zileas' cost effectiveness formula then multiplying it by x^2 for the exp, so i take the sqrt of all the enemies, and it's a linear power curve instead, and the game got really brutal at the floating continent, where flare star would one shot me at 100% hp, so i was like fuck, i need to grind here a while, also instead of get rid of the vanish/doom bug, i got rid of vanish, and replaced it with image, and got rid of osmose entirely

>>11774754
YOU FOUND MY AVATAR. I CANT FIND THIS SHIT ANYWHERE

The whole internet knew me as 'the Administrator of Hell" i talked to all the big web 1.0 e-celebs face to face, sean baby, lowtax, maddox, and a few others i can't remember their names, and lowtax hated me, but maddox considered me his equal, and so did fucking john romero and tom cadwell

i was a redhat hacker. every now and then i would find a poorly secured site, immediately contact the owner saying there are serious flaws in your code, hire a professional programmer, most of the time they did, but if they didn't, i'd do a two pronged attack, where they thought all i did was deface their site with anime tentacle rape, and then contact them and be like xifds89sdgiekj3tjk, that's a pretty good password, too bad i have ALL OF THEM, as well as all of your credit cards, hire a fucking professional programmer, and that would terrify them into doing it

my hacker identity was associated with that avatar of satan banning peple from hell on my computer and the pentagram of protection, and i think that's why the hackers are constantly after me, becuase i counterhacked a few chinese hackers, and i think i mght have pissed off vladmir putin himself with some of the comments i made before my desktop got hacked

its really awesome to know you have always been an unfunny fucktard

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holy shit, i've been looking for this since the ransomware incident and it just doesn't exist anymore

as for bemanimegami, we banned him for pretending to be a girl and a furry, but i didn't block him on aim, i just kept flaming him until i realized this guy is a funny nutcase with really good taste in jpop, and let him back in

the way that ended, is he said one day, i'm having transgender surgery soon and i want you to take my viriginity, and i said hell no, i'm not fucking a trans girl, and he kept saying i don't care, i love you, and then eventualy said then i am going to kill myself, and faked his suicide. i saw pics of him on b wearing womens panties and makeup deepthroating a banana, and other people knew he was still alive, he was still alive doing his furry thing on secondlife

>>11774932
whatever, i made thousands of dollars and had 300k visitors a DAY, so someone liked what i was doing on my front page

my board was very slow and most people got banned immediately because they couldn't follow the simplest rule ever, spell the words why, you, for, and because correctly

4chan ate my post. damnit

there was a very interesting character named Abyssal Squid who was admin, and in retrospect he was way too bad at it, he banned people for petty reasons, and when we reconnected, he went full SJW and we didn't get along at all anymore

we stopped talking because we got into a huge argument about this game we were designing called power grid. you would build pylons on a planet and factories to build spaceships, and each spaceship had to have 4 lines in a mirrored shape, which could determine how much weapons systems and engines and shields and space marines you could fit on the volume, and the length of the length of the lines are the damage of how much damage your ship can take before the hull cracks, and a ship dies when it's hull is split into single lines. we also wanted to program relativity and gravity on the planets and the sun, and if you flew into the sun, or crash landed into a planet, you'd just die. when you hit C, you could warp to a new star system, with more planets to keep macroing

squid and i got into a huge argument over whether or not it should be a high mechanical game like starcraft. i was arguing it should be, and he sucked at starcraft, so he kept saying things should be automated, and we abruptly stop talking over this. once it's a solo project, i talk to a math professor on the side about how i have an idea for a video game explain what it is, and he says this is impossible to do, this is why nasa takes forever to calc the flight path of a mission, so i come up with ways to turn into a 2d game on a torus like asteroids, but it never got finished

4chan ate my post. damnit

there was a very interesting character named Abyssal Squid who was admin, and in retrospect he was way too bad at it, he banned people for petty reasons, and when we reconnected, he went full SJW and we didn't get along at all anymore

we stopped talking because we got into a huge argument about this game we were designing called power grid. you would build pylons on a planet and factories to build spaceships, and each spaceship had to have 4 lines in a mirrored shape, which could determine how much weapons systems and engines and shields and space marines you could fit on the volume, and the length of the length of the lines are the damage of how much damage your ship can take before the hull cracks, and a ship dies when it's hull is split into single lines. we also wanted to program relativity and gravity on the planets and the sun, and if you flew into the sun, or crash landed into a planet, you'd just die. when you hit C, you could warp to a new star system, with more planets to keep macroing

squid and i got into a huge argument over whether or not it should be a high mechanical game like starcraft. i was arguing it should be, and he sucked at starcraft, so he kept saying things should be automated, and we abruptly stop talking over this. once it's a solo project, i talk to a math professor on the side about how i have an idea for a video game explain what it is, and he says this is impossible to do, this is why nasa takes forever to calc the flight path of a mission, so i come up with ways to turn into a 2d game on a torus like asteroids, but it never got finished

in the end, i give up on power grid, because it looks like an 8bit game with retro graphcs, and even though the game is pretty simple, the sheer amount of spam clicking and typing made it really brutal to play. when you built a barracks, factory, or starport, you had to manually input the stats of all the unit, and the bigger the unit, the bigger the building needed to be, and as far as the eco went, YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS, where when you build a pylon, it slowly loses its own shield, but if it takes no damage, you get double your money back, then it turns into negative energy, where it slowly taxes your energy, and the victory condition is to get your opponent to 0 energy with no positive energy flow, then their whole army self destructs and you win. so you need to keep clicking faster and faster as the game goes, and i eventually decide rts is dead and this game has no good business model, but oh well, it had some cool ideas, but the eco system had some heavy flaws where if you got the smallest amount of damage in on a pylon, it usually snowballed the game immediately

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>>11774847
>>11774860
>>11774872
Jesus Christ. I'm reading everything, I'm glad at least that you found your lost avatar, and I hope you're doing okay.

>>11775259
dude, 4chan was fucking down, and now i wrote like 4 walls before i noticed anything. i thought they did something beyond permaban me. i was trying to explain how power grid works. it's a cool idea for an rts, but i just knew it wouldn't sell well once the guys in hell were done alpha testing it with me, and i couldn't figure out how to get a master server, we could only unblock ports on firewalls and direct connect ips

>>11775429
I thought you were done, so I made a funny "on the next episode of dragon ball z" post. but it failed

anyway, here's how power grid worked. is that every map was totally random with neutral negative energy in places you could build random pylons, and there was no minimap, there was fog of war and everything was in a 1024x1024 box. you spawned in a totally random 4 way symmetrical map in either rotational or mirrored symmetry, and if you started really close to each other, the game could end in like 5 fucking minutes

whenever you built some kind of factory to make units, you had a menu you needed to mash in numbers as fast as you could on its stats, and that would determine how big the building was, and then the game would spit a cost back at you, and there were only 5 types of units

the first thing you should know is that power grid had no auto attacks at all. you needed to order attacks manually with everything

the first unit was a scout. it only had 1 hp but it was super fast, and that's what it's for. scouting

the second unit was a marine. but it had two ways you could projectile attack. it could pick a point and focus fire on it, or it could fire in a parallel spread. the damage fell off with distance, so the more damage it had, the more range it had

the next unit was a tank, and it worked like a siege tank in bw, where it had to stand still a long time to charge up its weapon. then it fired a radiating aoe circle that moved at the same speed as a marine, so you could dodge it if you were on point. it didn't have to unsiege, it just had to stand still to be able to attack. the more damage it had, the bigger the circle was

the next unit was a spaceship, and this one was cool as fuck. if it had a shield, it would tank shots under it, and it had the same hull damage idea squid's power grid had, where you needed to crack it into two disconnected lines to kill it. it had an instant hit laser attack that fell off with distance. this was the you usually needed to push in with marines and blow up their pylons and production, as the tanks would just nuke you

the final unit was called a scientist, and it required a shitton of money to buy. i can't remember all its spells, but it had two. one of them was that it could create a two way portal, by opening the portal, then travelling to where you want the other side to be

the other was an emp attack, which damaged your shields, and if your shields went negative, they were stunned until their shields recharged back to positive. i can't remember what else it had, but it cost a lot, and you had to be careful with it

there was a lot of metagame shit going on. because you could build a unit with silly fast regenerating shields, or really thick subtractive armor, you often needed to build a unit that just spiked it with mass damage, but then you just throw a bunch of weak units and hard counter that. also, we realized prime numbers are the way to go for hp. no one understood why the negative energy was needed, and it was pretty simple, i wanted to make sure it wasn't like starcraft, where even though you know you won 100%, it takes forever to close it out, and also to make sure there can't be stalemates. once the whole map is mined out, and you're losing your energy bank, you have to make a decision calculus, do i need more army, or will my opponent die before i do?

there were a lot of balance issues. i was constantly fucking with the speed and different equations for the damage falloff. it was a cool concept, but i decided it would probably be a flop if i continued the project

the main problem with power grid was holy shit, if you got the tiniest amount of damage in on a pylon, it usually snowballed the game unless you have an immediate counterattack prepared. but if all you were doing was going allin on production, every wave of pylons you build, you had to click twice as fast on the next wave, so the game was just going uncontrollably fast at a certain point, and you couldn't spend your energy fast enough, no matter how good you were

i also made it look like an nes game and used no actual sound effects, i just had it play different tones depending on how much damage it did, and the color of what it was easily tipped you off how strong its stats were. it went in a pattern, where red meant 1, purple meant half the max, then it started getting to a brighter shade of red, followed by a brighter shade of purple for the absolute max. one player would be black, and one would be white, like chess, and they all looked like NES sprites, because i wanted this to be the lowest spec game ever

>>11775492
oh it went in a rainbow pattern too btw. the shield would just be a circle, then the sprite's outline would be its health, and its armor would be the brightness of the outline. so you could very quickly size up what the hell you're looking at in terms of how strong it is

spaceships had one unique feature. you could determine how many lasers it had, so you could have 1 giant kaboom laser, or like 5-10 weaker spread parallel lasers along the front of the ship, but it didn't affect the cost, it just depended what you needed strategically. if you want to blow up pylons, you probably want something with a wide angle

there was a point where i tried to do a tshirt run with my site, but i only got one preorder, so i couldn't do it. so instead, i offered to buy him a copy of any $20 video game he wanted, and he picked starcraft, and i'm like i'm really good at that, i'll teach you how to play it, and i beat him 100 times in a row until he could finally beat me

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>>11774754
>If someone knows a better way, let me know.
if you didn't find it already, https://web.archive.org/web/*/hell.oddwebsite.com* is every URL saved (2,800)
there's some stuff for the other domains too, picrel is from https://web.archive.org/web/*/www.oddwebsite.com*, there's a decent amount of stuff saved on that one
https://web.archive.org/web/*/xenon.oddwebsite.com* is the only way to see what's saved of xenon's stuff because the flash pages don't load anymore
>>11775486
this game sounds like something i'd be awful at but still play for 100s of hours

>>11775622
oh man zanno cat was a hot meme, i still have all his pics on my backup

the family named him the stupidest thing luke because our fish tank had a black fish named darth vader that turned out to be a pregnant female, and luke was the one fish who lived

he was an indoor outdoor cat who would disappear for days and made it all the way to 18 before he died of natural causes

i decided that's my cat. i'm never gonna get another cat. he had some weird personality quirks though. he hated boxes, and i think he was addicted to my secondhand smoke

one time he got in my stash and ate a whole ounce, and i was like ok, i guess you're going to die now, let's make the best of this, then all of a sudden for the only time in his life ever he not only gets in a box, he sounds like he's trying to talk

he keeps going broom brip brip broom. brooooom instead of meow and or nyao

then he slept for like 24 hours straight, but i kept checking if he was breathing, and he was fine

when my mom asked why he hasn't eaten any food in like 2 days, i lied to her and told her he went missing again

after i realized he liked weed, i would puff straight into his nose and let him 420blazeit. i think he also liked my secondhand smoke, because whenever i went out for a smoke, he would usually come chill with me, and if he decided he'd rather hunt than eat cat food for a day, he'd bounce after i was done

when my family went on vacation and didn't take me, because my mom is a stupid republican who's like get a fucking job and pay for your own ticket if you want to go disney, when it's the '08 financial crisis, and it's like 1000% unemployment, his vet put him on a dry food diet because he wouldn't stop throwing up, but he loved his wet food, so i bought him fancy feast, and even though he threw up, he was so happy

once a year he would snap and randomly attack me, and i would always do the same thing, just pick him up and launch him outside and refuse to let him in the house for a few days, then he'd learn his lesson

he would very rarely sleep with me, and he would almost never walk on my keyboard, instead, what he would do while i was playng vidya, is sit behind my back in my office chair, and when he was in my room, my office chair was his preferred location

he also figured out he could just piss and shit in my toilet, but my mom tweaked, and ssid it was almost impossible to get the stink out, but i ddin't think iit smelled bad

we wanted him to be an indoor cat, but he kept trying to jump at doorknobs and open them himself. after the winter of when he was still 0 years old, we gave up, and he began his hunting career

he 1v1ed a fox once in the snow. the fox must have been starving to death, because he kept lunging at zanno cat, then he would easily dodge, and this fight went on for hours, then the fox just abruptly collapsed, and got murdered by a fucking snowplow lol it was a gory mess on the road

he had an enemy cat who would constantly beat him up, and make us wrack up vet bills healing him up, so that sucked

the only fucked up thing he honestly did, was he was sleeping with me for a rare change, and i don't know what i did, but he clawed me straight in the eye. i got a same day appointment with the doc and he said he got me through the eyelid, but my eyeball was fine, the eyellid is just one of the bloodiest part of the body when it gets hurt

the weirdest thing that happened to zanno cat is he got assraped by another cat. gay sex. i could tell he was traumatized, because once he was done being raped, he walked straight toward me and immediately went inside, then just sat down zoning out without even blinking for hours

that famous picture of zanno cat, i took on a kodak dispsoable camera, when he fell in the fucking toilet

as for the :{, :} and :{ were personal emoji memes with my high school nerd friends, where they were based on a guy we didn't know irl, who sniped a single letter screen name on fucking everything, d, where he would go :{{{{{{ or :}}}}}} depending on how happy or sad he was

>>11774532
>I'm actually tweaking rn because I've been fucking around for too long and now I'm thinking about how being an internet funny elder god isn't a viable career path fuck man
same, this thread is giving me an existential crisis. none of the websites I've made ever made any money

>>11775622
nice dubs

i just saw the come back coro forum

coro was one of the dudes who defected from fyad to hell after lowtax vanished, and he disappeared from everything, to the point where we didn't know if he died

so i made an entire board for him
COME BACK CORO

>>11775622
as far as the original power grid went, the physics professor told me the game i was trying to make was impossible. the math question i had for him was we can ignore gravity on spaceship vs spaceship, we just need to simulate the planets, and i want to be able to click on it so that it moves in formation and lands at a dead stop in space, and it can also slingshot off planets to gain velocity, and he said with the scale of spaceships you're talking no computer will ever be able to handle a large number of spaceships at all

the ships were going to have 3 different weapons, based on the power grid 2.0 alpha that actually got made, phasers (projectiles) lasers (hitscan) and nukes (aoe splash)

what me and squid were arguing about was the production. he wanted you to be able to click once and just have it auto produce and i'm like fuck no, it should work like macro rotations. the only thing i was willing to automate was a space marine invasion of a planet, where they can just run on an algo and blow all the buildings and other marines on the planet up

the ui we conceived was going to have a star chart when you do FTL, so it was going to be insanely more multitasking than starcraft, we never pinned down an exact number, but there were going to be like 8-20 star systems at once, and you would have two minimaps, one of your star systems, and one of the star cluster, that would alert you when FTL was incoming, and the planets were even going to be orbiting the stars, but if you drove into the center of the sun, uhh, you died, very badly, and if two ships ever crashed into each other, uhh you died, very badly

we were going to make it look like the video game asteroids with opengl and light bloom like geometry warriors, which didn't exist yet, was easy to do and i thought would be a low spec game, but apparently trying to calculate acceleration and relativity, where the hard cap in a solar system was C, the max speed cap was going to just murder any computer

the power grid alpha did have horrible performance issues if you went with a strategy to be like zerglings and just make tons of small units

it was always funny how badly you could hard counter something. you could make a bunch of marines that had like 1 hp and 1 shield but like 10000 damage and a 10000 second cooldown on their attack, and then it's like how the hell do you even defend your pylons once they've been scouted. you can't

the one game i played of starcraft with squid, he sucked so bad he lost and started lifting off all his bases and trying to fly away, and instantly paused the game and said at a high level of play, this is considered bad manner, you have no chance of survival, you are supposed to say gg in chat and surrender. that's how us high level starcraft, and he's like i might have a chance to win and i'm like what the hell you're a fucking morning you have no chance to survive make your time hahaha, you're down to like 30 supply to my 200 and you won't have any workers when you reach the island on lost temple, you have zero chance of recovering, and then he decides starcraft sucks

our idea for a game was based on master of orion 2, where you could build your own spaceships, and he thought he was good at that game, and our first game was a coop game, where i took telepathic, instantly beelined his civilization and formed an alliance, and our goal was to capture antares. but they did awful balance on the ship design, while i was using zileas formulas for stuff

anyway, one day, i suggest why don't we play 1v1 on a small map, and then i realize he sucks at strategy games. i came up with a strategy called unification/tolerant/repulsive, then i make a bunch of frigates i call bees, they all have a single low tech nuke and make dozens of them, and they go on suicide missions against star bases and his fleets, where they just nuke everything and are totally disposable, and once they clear the star bases, i just glass his planet and i have a 100% winrate in 1v1 vs him and he says "you are not playing the game correctly" and then a few years later, i learn in competitive master of orion 2, the whole unification/tolerant combo is banned, because of the bullshit bee strat i came up with, where it doesn't matter if you're being taxed, your production is so insane you just send suicide squads that overwhelm everything in the game

and then one other thing about the spaceship power grid, is in order to do FTL, your ship needed to be large enough to fit an engine that could accelerate to C before it hit the circular edge of the map, because that was another way you could suicide your ships, is if they drifted into deep space, it was called "contact lost" and they were just gone. once you hit C, there was a quick charge up time we needed to calibrate, them boom, you hit warp factor whatever you built, and our idea for resources was so insane, we were going to have literal cargo ships to transport adamantium from planet to planet as the resource, and then the power grid was your workers like warcraft 2, that determined how quickly the ship was built, so in this theoretical game, if you could catch a cargo ship en route and blow it up, oh man that's a huge loss to your economy, and the bigger the planet, the more value it has, so your starting position has small planets, but you expand to exoplanets in the midgame

the cute fluffy hair girl in ops pic seems kawaii. pls respond

>>11775771
gross pictures and flamewars

>>11772566
this place is failed DQN with less weeaboo shit and images

i guess i can mention one other thing about how power grid worked is that relative to your orientation on the torus, your pylon cluster opening base was in the dead center of the map, and so the enemy could be at any possible angle to you, and from what random neutral negative energy that you can't build pylons, you have 4 places to check from their pylon cluster that would be obvious from whatever pattern you're seeing in the neutral negative energy field, and the farther you got away from the base, the denser the negative energy got, until it was fully solid, so there was a sort of neutral ground

and one of the things we were having trouble figuring out, is that when you were on the border of the torus, it would automatically detect if you clicked on the far end of the other side to take the shortcut and go full pacman, but what were always confused about is what if we actually want to move in that direction, and were debating adding a ctrl+click or something, before i failed out of compsci and abruptly gave up on this project because i had to focus completely on school

>>11774611
there was one other game i nolifed pretty hard on steam called shadowverse. i thought everything about it was way better designed than cardstone, which had too much rng bullshit effects

i got to AA rank but I could never get to AAA or S rank for a simple reason, i never spent 1 cent on that game, so every time i finally had a perfect minmaxed meta deck, they released a new expansion, and my deck is still viable, but i need more cards, and then i have another meta deck, and then i need more cards, so even though apparently i have a talent for playing ccgs, i didn't feel like spending any cashola

i also own oblvion and the witcher series, and i thought the witcher series sucked ass

>>11774604
that reminds me of all our endless filters we would mix it up

fuck was boink
thread was bread
post was slice

we had so many silly filters, and they rotated over the years

there was a point where before my site my popped off and was dead, i was running a warcraft 3 clan called omgzergrush, i bought the domain omgzergrush.com, and it had 6 zerglings and you click on them to our clan's message board

what happened over the years, is that they were getting so cringe, all the hell old guard were discussing this internally on aim with me, and we decided they gotta go. so i literally banned the ip address *.*.*.* and everyone was like why the fuck did you ban me and i said i banned everyone, the forum is closed, then sold the domain to jeddite for what was a pretty fair transaction, and everyone was like don't sell it to him, he'll just close the board, and i'm like that's why i'm selling it to him. i think i got like $1000 in 2003, which was an assload of money back then

so they find their own free forum to regroup, and we regrouped on hell2.oddwebsite.com, but for some reason some of them wanted to be in our group and we didn't want that, and some of our hell forum members were linking to their cringe, and i got so sick of it, i filtered their whole url to the classic meme cathead, which is so old i can't even find it on google, but it was a giant pic of a cat's head that was happy. this got so in their head they started calling their own forum cathead

most of them who tried to rereg, i just fucking shot them on site, but a few of them i trolled super hard. one of them was called silentson, and he was a fundie with a girlfriend, who would just spew quotes of scripture and taunt us about how they don't have sex and he's going to heaven and we're going to hell, and i'd just flame him endlessly and he was impervious to it until i finally gave up and permed him

I'm kinda new here whats fyad

then many years later, he reregged as silentson2, and told us all hey he finally got married and had sex and she got pregnant on the first time, and i'm like uhh, good job i guess, and no one else new to hell has any idea who he is so it confused everyone

then another guy named korasoff, he was an asshole to everyone and he was from Quebec, and for some reason EVERY SINGLE PERSON I'VE EVER MET IRL AND INTERNET FROM QUEBEC IS A DICKHEAD, so he drew a self portrait of himself one day, and i took his self portait and poorly photoshopped it onto some really hot 90s anime porn, and hard coded his avatar so he couldn't change it, he lost his goddamn mind and was begging me to stop until he finally left

there were a few dudes that i did let stick around in hell2. one of them's name was Teron_Gorefiend, based on an orc hero from Warcraft 2, amd he was such a positive poster he got promoted to admin, but once we were hell2, i renamed him to Teron_Gorefriend, and he kept asking me why do you do this to me, and i keep telling him i think it's a better screen name, and we just kept changing it back and forth because we were both admins and we could. he eventually got a really high paying job doing some white collar work and didn't have time to dick around on the interwebs anymore

as for cathead, i kept getting behind seven proxies and would spam them with hentai, because i wanted them to fucking disband, that's how cringe they got

>>11775877
something aweful

the whole reason omgzergrush got founded is we were sick of the head moderator of battle.net, gfrazier, who handed out stupid bans over petty shit. so when i founded a clan that accepted players of all skills, everyone was like fuck this noise, and i poached a huge chunk of their active members at once, and very quickly figured out who to promote to mod and admin and who was a dumbass i needed to tolerate

i also misrembered something now that i've been looking at your links

the video game board was called Tetris Strategy Forum, and unlike moot, who wanted a dead subforum for every subtopic conceiveable, i wanted the bare minimum number of boards, and i figured we needed what in modern times would be /v/, and there was a sticky that said PLAY VIDEO GAME, and people who were new were like why aren't you talking about tetris? what's going on in here?

one of the most infamous members of hell and omgzergrush was happiness, who talked in allcaps all the time and was a blackhat hacker, who told me in private he was a runaway minor living off of idenity theft and card fraud, and i tell him about TIA, which edward snowden did not leak yet, and how the FBI caught me and said they would railroad me when I turned 18, so you should probably stop hacking shit and get a real job, because you will end up in prison and he's like NAH I'LL NEVER GET CAUGHT

one of the weirder points in my life, is the only time i'm tripping on mushrooms my entire life, is i tell him that he is me, and i am going to leave him everything i own in my will, including oddwebsite, and he's like THATS AWESOME DUDE, then the next day he's asking me about it, and i'm like no i was tripping balls none of this is valid at all, you don't get anything

then a few days after he turns 18, he disappears for a while, then comes back and says I'M FUCKED MAN, THE FBI CAUGHT ME JUST LIKE YOU SAID, I FOUND A GLITCH WHERE I WOULD OFFER TO LEVEL PEOPLE'S WOW'S ACCOUNTS AND STEAL THEIR CARD #, AND NO ONE SUSPECTED IT WAS ME, and i'm like, you realize that you're probably under a wiretap and just confessing to more crimes and he's like IT DOESN'T MATTER, I'M PLEADING OUT TO 20 YEARS IN PRISON, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA SEE ME AGAIN, and that's what happened.

>>11775882
I still wanna know, details?

>>11775879
i would rather be a gypsy than french canadian

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>>11775622
>just search the domain name and click on the url tab
That was so obvious lol I'm such a dumbass. Thank you for spoonfeeding me.

This was the epic threads page in February 2012, before the hack and redesign:
https://web.archive.org/web/20120204110000/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewforum.php?f=20&sid=fa584854b93835a33fcd95d0a528ec1e
Each link to a thread has a thread number (t=11766), by searching the number here:
https://web.archive.org/web/*/hell.oddwebsite.com*
Any archived pages for that thread can be found.
Pretty tedious, but still a lot faster than what I was doing before.
Or you can just search "viewtopic.php", click on a link, and view a random thread page with no context.

TLDC; click this link:
https://web.archive.org/web/20120313192747/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/
and click on all the subforums to see some of stuff Yuji Sakai talked about, skip Emergency Order if epileptic.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>11775877
Fuck You And Die, one of the original message boards where the only rule left standing was "don't do anything illegal"

i'm seeing a few things i remember

the joshcube comic, we found this really cringe fanfiction, where this guy named joshcube, and one of our great artists, named molto bene, took over my front page for a week, and made a really creepy over the top version of this fanfic where he looks like an ugly beta male with acne and basically just rapes her, and this one was an abrupt viewercount spike

pookie masturbates with a flashlight. this girl who was reading oddwebsite since i was 8, was being e-molested by her, getting her to send her irl loli, and he mentions that she masturbates with a flashlight, and the whole thread is us debating what size is it? is it a little pocket one? is it a maglite? we're not really sure

when we started dating, she immediately sent me some irl loli and i instantly alt-f4ed that shit and grilled her and said not only is this ultra super hyper mega illegal, it's like unwrapping a christmas present, i'd rather see you naked when we have sex for the first time

i kinda shot our relationship in the head in ways i didn't predict with this one, all of a sudden this guy i just flame all fucking day is asking me for life advice, saying i want to murder someone, but i don't want to go to jail, what do i do, and i just tell him "join the military" and he serves in active combat in iraq and when he came back for leave he messages me and said "i got my first confirmed kill" and i'm like "good job, keep shooting those towelheads"

the problem is pookie's mom is a single mom in the military, she abruptly gets stationed in hawaii, and then matt conveniently gets stationed there too, so she fucks over her boyfriend from the state she grew up in and instadumps him for matt, they almost have a court wedding and she changes her mind at the last second, and they abruptly break up

>>11776062
I would have loved to see it, unless its still up

oh my god yuji stfu

many years after he gets his honorable discharge, he moves back to his home state of rhode island, and she transfers to URI to date him again, and i warn her, this guy's a psycho, he's gonna DV you, and that's exacltly what happens, she gets the shit beat out of her, kicks her out of her house, and she's homeless, and she's looking for a place to stay, she messages me on AIM and i immediately go full ptsd about she dumped me for this pedo who was also a furry and i just scream GO AWAY, and beyond block her, i pull the power cord from my computer, and i'm crying for hours

several weeks later, she friends me on facebook, so i'm like ok, if she's trying this twice, something serious happened, and it was what i told you, but she managed to work out an arrangement with a friend and a family for a place to stay, and this friend and her eventually get married. this might have been a misplay on my part, if i heard her out, i would have instantly driven to where she was and picked her up and let her crash on my couch and tried to seduce her from there

now when i saw read the rules, it just caused me to remember another rule. unlike 4chan, our rule wasn't you must be 18 to access this site, my rule was "if you aren't 18 LIE ABOUT IT"

there was a law called coppa in the US, so phpbb had a built in feature that would decline to register them an account and explain it's against US law, and i wrote it into a huge flame, where i was you are so fucking stupid you didn't read the rule where i said if you aren't 18 pretend that you actually put in your real birthday, then you honestly don't belong here at all, i don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, and this coppa message actually does get mailed out like 3 or 4 times, wtf

as far as temporal paradox goes, he was a god tier fyad poster that completely bounced on fyad and became one of our head admins, and did a lot of the artwork on our site. he drew a better version of my magical flying tophat logo and gave me unlimited permission to use it for commercial use and drew me anything i wanted at all in flash

you probably won't find him in there much but his name is House and his aim handle was crackfak. he rarely posted, and he was a techno dj, who had a lot of trouble making it big, until he does the soundtrack for MASS EFFECT 1, and when i'm playing the game, it's like hmm, this sounds a lot like house's music, and then he messages me out of nowhere and says i'm so famous now i'm never gonna have trouble finding a job ever again, i'm set for life, so good for him

>>11776083
it's still up and it costs $10 to register, but they always hate anyone new, that's part of their culture, so don't waste your time, lole

i guess another thing is thread icons were a thing in that era, and there were an absurd number of thread icons, where some people would use the same one over and over, and other people would find the one that matches the situations, and if you forgot to pick one, it has a gif that scrolls "i forgot to use an icon bcus i am dumb :("

a couple icons, like the der dragon warrior king, could only be used by admins, and that was when we needed to put our foot down and talk serious business about something someone needs to stop doing before we ban them

>>11776060
and now that i'm looking at that tetris strategy forum, if anyone could find that kawaii anime and upload it as to the webm with sound board, that would be le epic

and for some reason the this thread is zapped with marquee tags and jpop isn't archived correctly, it's supposed to default to the white layout and play a really annoying song, but you can see how it's fucking unclickable sometimes

i can only find the rules version for when i was no longer actively updating the site and it was kinda dead and we were just constantly using the warp zone to keep threads alive

https://web.archive.org/web/20130312215555/http://hell.oddwebsite.com/viewtopic.php?t=666&sid=b685977c8d1c9bb4a529d1606e00dd24

but oh man, i'm pretty sure that voiceover is from rage against the machine, and it's like the most self referential clip of a song involving writing your own bullshit rules possible

WE ALL KNOW THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN PUNISHED IF THEY HADN'T BEEN DOING SOMETHING WRONG

AND WHO BETTER TO DISPENSE SUCH BLATANT FACTOIDS AS A SELF APPOINTED AUTHORITY BUT MYSELF?

when i was digging around, all i could find was one of the times we got flooded by a spambot, i came up with a really silly way to deal with it instead of installing captcha, i don't remember what word it was, but there was a field i added that said enter the word "this" and if you did not enter this into the field, then the account didn't go through

in fact, the word itself might have been this

found em, and this is from the alternate layout that you havent seen archive digging anon where we found the hitler vs stalin fight comic and we all thought it was badass

https://web.archive.org/web/20070914195217/http://hell.oddwebsite.com:80/viewtopic.php?t=666&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=&sid=7bd5606fa99302e4de348a7579101c32

those were the rules of the hell for the majority of its peak

oh btw, someone suggested i make spoiler tags, and they did the exact opposite, and just made everything brighter


lol

0. common forum rules against thread derailing, spamming, trolling, double/triple/quad posting, a general failure to make sense, and talking in all caps are all off the table here

conversely, this forum is not a receptacle for all the worthless nonsense you can think of! if you seriously cannot figure out where the line is drawn, then all i can say is LURK MORE

anyway

1. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME
IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WERE BANNED, THEN MAYBE I HAD NO REASON TO BEGIN WITH :(??

2. DON'T DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING OR YOU'LL GET BANNED OK?? WE HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR THIS SORT OF MALICIOUS FUCKERY HERE AND YOU WON'T FIND ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET THAT DOES
* DON'T FLOOD THE FORUMS YOU STUPID FAGGOT
* DON'T IMAGE SPAM OR OTHERWISE "DESTROY" THREADS UNLESS YOU'RE A MOD (YOU CAN CLOSE THREADS ANYWAY)
* DON'T POST A REALLY LONG THREAD TITLE WITH NO SPACES IN IT
* DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID WITH EMBED TAGS
* DON'T USE THE WORDS "RANDOM", "CRAZY", OR ANYTHING TO THIS EFFECT IN YOUR FIRST FEW POSTS, IF YOU DO, IT MAKES IT VERY OBVIOUS TO US THAT YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THIS FORUM IS ABOUT AND WILL FIND YOURSELF UNABLE TO POST FOR QUITE SOME TIME

3. IF YOU MEET ANY OF THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS, PLEASE SAVE US THE TROUBLE AND REFRAIN FROM REGISTERING
* IF YOUR USERNAME IS SOMETHING STUPID LIKE "tonydanza42" OR ANYTHING ELSE WITH A LOT OF NUMBERS IN IT THEN YOU WILL BE BANNED BEFORE YOU GET A CHANCE TO POST
* WE THINK FURRIES ARE STUPID, OKAY!!! IN THE EVENT YOU MASTURBATE TO, DRAW, OR OTHERWISE "APPRECIATE" FURRY ART, WE WILL FIND OUT AND YOU WILL BE BANNED FOREVER
* PLEASE REALIZE WHILE WE ARE SILLY WE ARE NOT STUPID AND IF YOU REGISTER JUST TO ANNOY US YOU'LL HAVE A VERY SHORT LIFESPAN ON THIS FORUM

4. THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT ARE STUPID IF YOU THINK THEY ARE FUNNY YOU ARE STUPID
* USING MORE DOZENS MORE EMOTICONS IN A POST THAN WORDS IS STUPID

* FAILURE TO SPELL THE WORDS 'why', 'you', 'are', 'for', 'to', 'be', 'oh', and 'see' CORRECTLY IS STUPID
* L33TSP34K 15 R34LLY 5TUP1D
* THE WORDS 'teh', 'zomg', 'pwn', and 'j00' ARE INCREDIBLY STUPID AND I WILL BAN YOU IF YOU WON'T STOP USING THEM

5. DO NOT LINK TO WAREZ, UNDERAGED/ILLEGAL PORN, ANY KIND OF TORRENT, OR DISCUSS FORUM INVASIONS ON THESE BOARDS
PARTS OF THIS RULE ARE SELECTIVELY ENFORCED. IF YOU CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHEN IT IS AND ISN'T SELECTED, THEN DON'T BREAK IT :(

6. JUST BECAUSE THE FORUM SHOULD ALWAYS BE CONSIDERED NOT SAFE FOR WORK DOESN'T MEAN WE CARE FOR YOUR STUPID FUCKING PICS YOU SWIPED FROM ROTTEN.COM, STILEPROJECT, 4CHAN, AND SO FORTH
6a. FOR MORE INFOMRATION ON THIS SUBJECT, CLICK HERE ^_^

7. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU ARE A BAD POSTER
* UNLIKE MOST FORUMS, IF YOU ARE BANNED FROM HELL, YOU CAN STILL READ IT, SO LURK FOR ABOUT A WEEK AND YOU WILL BE UNBANNED (UNLESS YOU ARE BANNED FOREVER, IN WHICH CASE I SUGGEST THROWING YOUR COMPUTER OUT A WINDOW)
* IF YOU ARE EXTREMELY ANNOYING OR UNFUNNY YOU WILL BE 'GIRLBANNED' AND THAT MEANS ANYONE CAN EDIT YOUR POSTS!!!!
* DO NOT REGISTER A SECOND ACCOUNT TO GET AROUND A BANNING, I AM NOT STUPID AND I WILL JUST BAN YOU EVEN MORE
* DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE BEG ME TO UNBAN YOU, EITHER. YOU WILL BE UNBANNED WHEN WE HAPPEN TO FEEL LIKE IT

8. IF YOUR ACCOUNT DETAILS ARE EDITED FEEL FREE TO CHANGE THEM BACK!!! IF WE REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO CHANGE THEM, WE'LL MAKE IT SO YOU CAN'T :(
8a. IF YOU ARE MIKAZUCHI YOU MUST USE A PIKACHU AVATAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. IF YOU LIKE A POST, PUSH BUTTON!!! IF YOU LIKE A POST, PUSH BUTTON IF YOU DON'T LIKE A POST, PUSH OTHER BUTTON!!! why are there two of these

10. IF YOU FEEL ANY OF THIS IS UNFAIR, GO FUCK YOURSELF
THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER FORUMS ON THE INTERNET THAT YOU CAN VISIT

so regarding rule 8 and rule 9, i decided to troll someone who suggested i added a karma system, where you can push a +1/-1 button to add a score to a post, but anyone can push the button as many times as they want, so it effectively does nothing hahahahahaha

regarding rule 9, every single default phpbb avatar was some picture of pikachu, and before i pikabanned him, i kept trolling him by changing his avatar to pikachu over and over

>>11776197
how do you spell "why" incorrectly?

another thing every admin had access to, was a way to change the subcaption of the logo to whatever random shit we wanted, and apparently this copy of the rules must have been done at some point around ampersand day

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>>11776209
y
mainstream culture had everyone being y ur so kewl lol 2b on the internet, and i preferred people who could speak fucking english

that's what i noticed when i abruptly ragequit ddw, and started focusing on my rants. the number of direct AIMs i got were from people of much higher intelligence

regarding tonydanza42, and at first i'm like oh my god, he's not gonna last long and he didn't stick around for very long, but he was one of the absolutely funniest fucks on the forum that showed up at the same time as an account named tv's john stamos, and they immediately requested pics of the actors to the point where sometimes i wonder if they were tony danza and john stamos themselves

if nothing else, these guys were efriends, because right as soon as i starting talking to tonydanza42 and tv's john stamos on aim our conversations were a fucking blast

two other dealies i can remember, then i'm going to make ramen noodles and play the wizard's tower against agent smith

the dancing anime girl at the bottom, i had to tell the admin when i promoted the admin that's what you click on to access the admin panel, and even the admin panel trolled you, with this song embedded into it while you were doing something serious

https://youtu.be/Cy1LdAaGASw?si=Lriu7M9tJTA_4NJa

regarding why the page says "Greetings, Executor. Though we all grieve for the loss of mighty Tassadar, we must find the resolve to carry on. He sacrificed himself to destroy the Overmind, but many Zerg still rage across our ruined homeworld. Without the Conclave to lead us, or the protection of our great fleets, it seems we must fend for ourselves." was because malware bots were just running on google searching for powered by phbBB and right as soon as i figure it out, i change the text to something else, even though it still links to them, and in the entire license for phpbb, you are allowed to edit anything but this backlink for phpbb

as to why the monopoly guy is there, that's because an early feature on the google ads was that if you if you added a google search bar to your site, they would give you a few cents if someone used it instead of the main www.google.com line. they hadn't quite killed off all the other major search indexers from that era yet, like altavista and yahoo

i'm glad a thread about fyad got derailed into a thread about hell, because that's exactly what lowtax was doing when he made byob

one of the catchphrases (that's what we called them instead of memes) was "hell is a forum for friends" and he was trying to rip ME off, because i stole so many of his core members of his night crew that he couldn't ban for petty reasons and make them pay another 10bux and make them pay for avatars and emojis and shit, so he ripped ME off, by making byob

i definitely got in that fuck's head, because between me and 4chan, we were completely obliterating him on the alexa search rankings, and he wasn't making much money anymore

4chan was the retard containment site, and while i did tripfig every now and then, i didn't really hang out with /b/, i just knew all the tripfigs

cute anime girl in OPs pic

Yuji I’m starting to get worried

>>11776321
worried about what

this will be the only time you see me use my actual screen name as my namefig, because i don't really actually use it anywhere anymore

Zanno died when his computer got his by ransomware. the GRU killed him

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>>11776321
if you want to be worried about me, here's why

https://youtu.be/UcwfEMdV-aM?si=r78F0_vlLFp2wJru

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lol found some posts about oddwebsite on a 4chan archive
https://old.sage.moe/b/thread/10150149 + https://old.sage.moe/b/thread/10150723 someone begging for an invasion against hell
https://old.sage.moe/b/thread/9856049/#9857052 gb2 hell
https://old.sage.moe/b/thread/15525082 the replies say that this thread is a copypasta from Hell, can you confirm Yuji?

like half of the results are from /jp/ for bloodyshovel.oddwebsite.com, archives of touhou choose your own adventure threads

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>>11775879
you've met more of them than you realize, some just pass better than others

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>11776345
>>11774408
here's the part that creeps me about this one man, i did NOT write that part about being an NSA agent that's going to get assassinated any day now. the hackers after me really are this insane. they hacked the wayback machine in the most obscure place of all time

and the whole i suck at tetris thing was the opposite. we were trying to figure out how to make it fair to play tetris against each other in tetris vs. dr mario on [s4s], and we find a site that has gameshark codes, and we're like this site probably will have the correct gameshark code but it's really sketchy, we're definitely going to have to reformat that machine, and oh my god, it installed like 30 malware toolbars automatically at once, but we did get the code to hack player 1 and player 2's starting level in multiplayer

i played on level 15 and they played on level 9 and this handicap made it a more 50/50 winrate between the four of us

i don't know how the fuck i typo snes as [s4s] god damn opoiods are the worst drug ever. i hate this shit, but i need it for the ass pain

it was not a copypasta from hell, it was a copypasta from the main site

hell really didn't get much traffic, but the people who did go there, got really addicted to it. most of my fanbase i would talk to on direct aim and show them a trick where if they add a number to the url they can see anything i have in queue for updates i haven't released yet, and would telll me whatever the hell is going on in your board, i don't understand it at all, and i was getting like 300k unique ips a day, the size of a small television show within its own era, but hell didn't get much traffic

i could only run google banners on the front page, because it was sfw. on hell, i could only run a monopoly guy google search bar that gave me like 7 cents if someone used it, because the index of hell was guarnateed to be sfw, but once you get into a thread, you never know when you're gonna see anime titties

if /b/ invaded hell, depending on what they did, they would either not be pissing me off at all, or i knew enough MYSQL that i could glass their posts in 5 seconds, it'd be a waste of time

if you guys want to see how ancient hell is, take a look at this shit

www.oddwebsite.com/hell

the very first chronological hit is when i'm running the wc3 clan on top board and running the oddwebite board on the bottom board, because omgzergrush was way more active than hell was, but after dealing with these guys for a few years, we got sick of them, and banned *.*.*.*

https://web.archive.org/web/20030526083606/http://www.oddwebsite.com/hell/YaBB.pl

>>11775674
baste stoner cat
>>11776083
>>11776098
Something Awful is still around, but I read somewhere that Lowtax (F) shut down FYAD because all the good posters left and it had basically devolved in /pol/. There are archives of old threads that are free to browse.
>>11776179
>FOR MORE INFOMRATION ON THIS SUBJECT, CLICK HERE ^_^
:^)

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>11776345
bloodyshovel was a pretty cool guy

i gave him free hosting, i guess he must have posted on /jp/ a lot

all i remember about him is i asked him to animate something for me where someone gets an erection so comically long he circles the entire planet while using goku screaming sound effects until he fucks himself up his own ass, and he calls it the passion of the frank, and i subtitle it directed by mel "bloodyshovel" gibson

>>11776372
i'm glad that the wayback machine has all these names, because now i can finally recall enough characters to create nothing constructive, every single one of those usernames in the oldschool hell i remember crystal clearly

i guess i'm getting another 300 reply thread that i wasn't intending, but i feel like playing agent smith, so if you guys have any questions, it will have to wait after our game

i am going to steal so many of these ideas. sounds like it was a fun site

too bad 4chan devs gave up on doing anything fun with this site starting like 15 years ago. they don't even pretend to do anything interesting for april fools anymore

>>11776373
i haven't used something awful since like 2010. it was surreal and weird to see lowtax shot himself and then basically every single person on the site celebrating his death. that has got to be one of the worst possible human existence scenarios

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Damn even at the time lol.
>>11776345
>the replies say that this thread is a copypasta from Hell
No the replies said it was from the oddwebsite blog, coincidentally it's the same post that Zanno already linked here. >>11774408
The blog is the rant link on the bottom left, and ddw is Der Dragon Warrior right next to it.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>11776098
Zamn 10 dollars for what. Also whats all this paragraphs of text you're writing all the time

>>11776849
i flipped out back in the day when people called it a blog

some of it was more like poetry

i read the works of e.e. cummings where this guy must have been eating random mushrooms because he would just put words in random places on the page, and started emulating his style

fyad was good up until about 2013 or so. then it got gay

the reason i called it a website instead of a blog is that by my own standards back then, a blog was some software some dickhead used to talk about things going on in his personal life, when i thought to myself more like some hilarious internet standup comic and philosopher at the same time who prgorammed the whole site from scratch

i was on a shared host called dreamhost, and the frontpage was german levels of efficency. everything was designed to consume as few cpu cycles and bandwidth as possible. the way it worked is each update had a few flags, one to just ignore the whole template, and load an entire webpage, one to send you to der dragon warror instead, and if it noticed there was no raw html file to load, it would look for #.gif, and load the gif in place automatically, for once i started doing my crazy poetry

when i designed hell on phpbb after lowtax kicked me out and i was going allin on it, i designed a template using the shortest form html possible, and it kept me from going over the bandwidth limit

unlike most of those bloggers who would just talk about they ate a piece of pizza, i considered myself a true webmaster and administrator

the only time i generally spoke about something happening in my personal life was when i was during my recurring meme, sorry, i don't have to time to update oddwebsite because [there are ants in my keyboard] or whatever

my schedule was ultra super hyper mega aggresive. i updated on every odd day. not any even day.

the wayback archive, i do not know if it goes back that far, but the very first update i ever made, where i was basically copying lowtax's style to a T because i idolized him as a minor, was "there are too many even websites out there right now. i'm making an odd website instead"

>>11776423
there were a lot of reasons for that

when SA was at its peak, Lowtax was completely and totally spell immune to his own rules, would flame anyone and post gore on sfw boards, would ban people for literally no reason, just because he disliked him, and for the most part, very rarely left fyad, and while i idolized him as a minor, once i saw his true colors, i was like fuck this guy

then there were three reasons why this guy thoroughly discared himself

this guy was a card carrying NRA member who would frequently shoot selfies of himself cocking an AR-16 or something and show off his firing range accuracy and tell people hey want to stalk me, i live in a state where it's legal to murder you if you're on my property, and i have a gun in every single room

second, once Lowtax got a notice he was getting audited by the IRS, he immediately fled to australia, because apparently he was writing everything that cost SA money off as a loss and writing everything that gained money for SA off as a charitable contribution, except for ad banners people purchased, because that one would be way too hard to loophole around

finally, every woman he married, the first wife being integral, who he met on his own forum, integral, who immediately became another member of his front page and was kinda sorta funny, kept saying this same thing. this guy is a domestic abuser. and when his final wife had audio recordings of him beatiing the shit out of her over and over, everyone stopped going to SA except to troll him and spam in allcaps SELL YOUR FORUMS until he did, then the new owners immediately permabanned Lowtax, he became totally socially isolated, and used one of his endless collection of guns to cap himself in the head, and this guy was such a huge piece of shit, no one was sad

>>11776927
the tl;dr is that oxyodone makes me hyperactive and ramble on like an idiot, and this topic itself is making me flash to the good old days

my boomer parents had no conception of what i was doing and how solid of a global reputation i had established for myself. they just needed to support me while i took off exponentially, i need to find a local drug dealer instead of travel to NYC, and then i'd be paying all their bills and living in my house forever

instead they told me i either need to go to college or get a normal job, but once i got to college and realized everyone was breaking rule 1 and 2 of the internet, do not talk about 4chan, DO NOT TALK ABOUT 4CHAN, i lost interest in running oddwebsite, continued to maintain hell, and then graduated as slowly as possible

i did have an idea to reboot der dragon warrior so i could resume the orignal that would go something like this

ON THE LAST EPSIDOE OF DER DRAGON WARRIOR
DER HERO OF SAVE THE WORLD AND SLIME CHECKED GAMEFAQS AND GOT PWNED BY MALVERTIZING
LOTO: OF WHAT ARE WE DOING TO BE OF STOPPING THIS
SLIME: FORMAT C:
LOTO: BUT WE ARE OF BEING A GAME OF THE ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM BELONGING TO NINTENDO
SLIME: HIT RESET
(black screen)
then it would take you to the last scene he was at an inn, and all the filler episodes i made would be retconned

thank you yuji for sharing your mind with us

i think yuji may have injected one too many flube oil vials

>>11777584
they actually proscribed me ses[/spoiles], a fucking opioid

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>>11777584
Flube psychosis even comes up on Google, it is a real phenomenon and Yuji Sakai is the victim... so sad

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>>11774847
>beating me with a metal buckle of his belt, drawing tons of blood, the first thing i say is if we're going to stay up all night long, why don't we play mario 3 and not use the warp whistle

>>11777878
i know dude

my dad was such a drunk that even though we had the strategy guide to super mario 3 he would always fuck up world 8 and we could never beat it

the one time i remember beating it, Nagai Sakai went in with a pwing and figured out how to get to bowser, but he got fucking splatted by his smashy down attack, and then me as mario goes in with my own p wing, and i finally figure it out, we gotta make bowser kill himself like a fucking moron, and unlike nagai sakai, i don't lose my pwing in that fight

every time that random card flippy thing showed up, he would always be like stop, we need to get every item possible here, and click on whatever two cards would conclusively figure out what pattern we were in, then grab every item, and both my dad, nagai sakai, and myself never fucked up the trick to get a star from an end level box, so we had plenty of extra lives to work with at world 8, if we took the long way, but most of the time, what we would do is go to world 2 and get some stuff before we bothered using the warp whistles, instead of use the trick to use the warp whistle within the warp zone itself to get straight to world 8

the only level i had a serious mental block on, was the fucking sun, i would always just go attack my dad or nagai sakai and be like you deal with this one, i can't ever figure it out

my little brother of the 3, dr. jekyll and mr. sakai, he's dead weight in every single vidya he's ever played, and one time he made me tweak and beat the shit out of him because he overwrote my ff1 save file and i'm like you can't even fucking read or do math, there's 0% chance you can ever beat this game, when i was at gurgu volcano, and had to start the whole fucking thing over, AUGH

i never even beat ff1 as a kid, because even though i cleared everything BUT gurgu volcano, i convinced myself there had to be some major item i was missing to give me lava immunity, not just buy 99 potions to deal with it

i don't even think he owns a console anymore. i haven't really talked to him in over 2 years, had a fight over money

bumping becasuse i want more yuji blog posts to read

>>11778529
any topic you got in mind

i'm not really suffering from ses psychosis, but i think i fucked up and didn't take my sniper wolf 10, and by the time i woke up it's way too late to take it and then it be safe to ses painkillers

>>11772566
where's my twitter pussy?

>>11778529
instead of have me blogpost, go play the insane zzt game i made when i was 16

https://museumofzzt.com/file/view/nothing/

while the plot has significantly diverged, because i finally decided interplanetary travel is impossible, and rejiggered the whole plot to take place between the earth and the moon, the personalites of the three main characters, Zanno, Steve, and Doom the Communist, will be essentially the same

>>11778737
cute scripting and webcomic humor

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>>11774102
>>11774113
i like how your character is simultaneously an insane hacker and someone who gets ransomwared through his ISP's router

>>11778776
when i got hacked, the metaphor i was using with everyone is like i'm like obi wan kenobe living on tattoine, i can't deal with darth vader anymore, that's the NSA's job

here's the other thing. when i got the records to dr. kawashima's psych ward so i could file the paperwork to get a few nurses to lose their medical licenses, they constantly said i had "repeatedly delusions of his phone getting hacked" when boost mobile, comcast, and verizon, were all completely and totally aware that i had been hacked, so i filed a medical correction letter

the girl in OPs pic is so kawaii. i can't stop looking at her

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

MY WHOLE FUCKING PHONE NUMBER GOT STOLEN

and because boost mobile was going out of business, the guy was trying to blow me off so hard i told him if he doesn't call whatever direct line he has to get my number back i'm just going to call the police right now, and then i finally get my phone number back, but i have to wait for it to refresh through the tower system before i can complete my transaction at verizon, so what i thought was going to be a quick in and out took all fucking day

and while i don't remember exactly what day it was when my router i got hacked, i do remember exactly noticing it happen, because all of a sudden windows defender is like nah i don't feel like being on anymore, and i have a big frowning face and am thinking to myself "this is mate in some number of moves"

then my mom and i are arguing abou why the fuck i can't afford a new computer, and while i like her, she has one flaw in her personality, most likely because she's a woman, she has no fucking concept of money, so i'm about to just throw a whole fucking year of pdfs of bank statements at her and be like how the fuck do you deal with this mess? and then i can't login to my online banking at all, and realize the computer is fucked, try to login through my phone, that doesn't work either, then i disconnect from wifi and turns out my bank account was locked, and when i go there the next day they tell me they noticed an obvious foreign ip using your password to log in, so they shut the account down until i showed up at a branch

problems don't exist

>>11774582
yuji, since we're already harmlessly doxing you
did you shitpost in the same style on esreality?

>>11774595
show me mez's alt names

>>11778799
YES

but because my handle was AAAAA, they did not know i was some sort of average skill player, they assumed i was some sort of extremely high skill player

let me go dig up the part where i snapped on quake champions beyond all comprhension in the beta test or early release or something

https://www.esreality.com/post/2911889/fixing-this-flop/

some people were like what the hell is going on and other people were like this guy needs to be hired by id software immediately

>>11778801
i actually thought you're fizzle that's why i asked

>>11778823
well if you had reading comprehension at all you would have noticed i abruptly broke out my true username for the first time since proto /b/, and oh man, that thing i just read is flawlessly written

there will probably never be another Quake ever again, the nuDooms are selling too well

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>>11778839

>>11778842
that's the one roadblock to me making an indie game, is i have fuck all for musical talent

there was a scientific studies that classic music thrown the mersenne twister, which is now the go to for RNG in video games, because it just hits that sweet spot for randomness vs cpu cycles, still sounds pretty nice and musical

so i can just throw nobuo uematsu's sheet music through the mersenne twister until something cool comes out and then make it 8bit from there

>>11777080
Do they give that for depression or something because I'm super inactive and I always feel like I'm dying or sad

>>11778905
no it's a painkiller that is heavily addictive and a lot of people bullshit their way into the scrip and abuse it, so it's really hard to get

because they knew i was going to be in for a bad time recovering from this surgery, because once i came to, they could tell the novocaine analog they injected me in the ass with did nothing whatsoever, they made me pop one immediately, they told me it's contraindicated with diazepam, so don't take tonight, so i'm like welp, i'm getting 0 sleep, but i'm used to this, so it was nothing new

anyway, the mania in this thread is two pronged
there's something about every single depressant, where it just does the exact opposite thing, and make me go ultrasupermegahyperactive
and mentioning fyad at all would instantly cause me to start babbling on about how was www.oddwebsite.com and www.4chan.org were destroying www.somethingawful.com in the alexa traffic rankings, and because Lowtax knew who I was and that he decided to personally dick me over, it was like watching Freiza cut himself in half

I don't think the alexa rankings go all the back to the peak of oddwebsite's insanity, which would have been about 2006. 2005 i used the variable ?rant=# to link to my article, then ?rave=# on my second year, and i got so burnt out, i never really got to a third year, i updated very rarely and just continued to use rave, and continued to maintain hell until i got clocked in a pair of brass knuckles on halloween and no one gave a shit i was missing, then i ghosted their own site and only responded when people were posting irl loli or the board got hacked by muslim extremists

>>11778922
>there's something about every single depressant, where it just does the exact opposite thing, and make me go ultrasupermegahyperactive
Do you have any neurological issues?
I am autistic and have another neurological problem and have a hyperactive reaction to weed
If you have neuro issues it can make some meds do weird things

>>11778934
Yuji Sakai is perfectlely sane

>>11778940
lol

>>11778844
music is easy dude

>>11778984
i have a mental block on it

when i was a teen i pirated everything conceivable a techno dj would need, trackers, tons of samples, audio clips, a bunch of sample trackers of famous songs so i understood what exactly i was looking at, and i coudn't figure out anything decent except for a single riff

the only way i think i can make music for an indie game is to go to zophar's domain, redownload a bunch of .nsf files, and force myself to understand how famitracker work

something that i DO understand, is how to dick around with sine, square, and sawtooth waves, to make neato atari style sound effects, as well as dick with white and brown noise to make explosive type pitches

>>11778990
famitracker is nice
deconstructing existing songs with famitracker by ear is a good way to learn music theory

but just dick around with any daw until it clicks
make some shitposts

>>11779000
TRIPS LOLE

>>11779083
it's over 9000

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>11779000
the game in particular i would be wanting to take a look at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, because that's the one I'm pretty sure used the VRC6, which would be the level of NES music i would want to emulate for my own retro game

https://youtu.be/tBiVW9qn7fA?si=OxgW35K-9pDXvj3W

i didn't study the documentation to yoyo gamemaker this deep, but if tobyfox came up with some way to brick your steam cloud save file and windows system registry so once you do a genocide ending, you can never get a regular ending ever again, i'm wondering if i could just write .nsfs and get the engine to load it somehow

I am sorry for killing the culture, Yuji.
But most of those people deserved to be free and you wouldn't let go.

>>11779093
not a single game released in america used vrc6 audio, the american nes did not have the extra cartridge pin for audio mixing

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>>11778799

>>11779495
nope, wrong one

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autosage

:(

>>11779197
it used something that wasn't a standard NES chip, and that's all i know