Talk about your greatest, Henderson scale-breaking, made of win moments here.
>>96834421No.
Henderson was a shit story, forced by faggots, that has cringey-as-fuck writing that mistakes random nonsense for humor, and also makes absolutely no sense and is only liked by the kind of people who have no idea how RPGs work.The "Henderson scale" is just more of that pure faggotry from people who really should stop being cringey fucking faggots.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>96834421That one time where I rolled a good number on my twenty sided dice.
>>96834473Once upon a time people had fun here
>>96834571That happens to literally everyone who played tabletop games. How was yours different?
>>96834619Yeah, what happened? The chans were full of joy and hope for the future.Now everyone is depressed and jaded.
>>96834421Pay me, pajeet.
>>96834619People were shitting on Henderson here right from the start.There's plenty of actually good /tg/ stories, but instead we have faggots like OP who find stories that were popularized on Reddit and mistakenly imagine anyone but the worst people here cared about that kind of shit story.
>>96834620>That happens to literally everyone who played tabletop games. How was yours different?Ok I'm gonna greentext it and we'll see if you can tell how it's different...>BE ME>roll really good on my d20 dice
>>96834703what stories do you like?I'm partial to the one where a player has to defend a town against the GM's GF's character and he fucking pulls it off.
>>96834783NTA but I like Sir Bearington. Short and sweet.
>>96834619>>96834647My wife and I were just looking through some ancient files from the late 2000's. Ancient memes and cute animal pictures and Gaia Online avatars, all in laughably small resolutions. Really hit us just how shitty the modern internet is, how deeply cynical and unhappy all our current memes seem by comparison.>>96834421Sure, in honor of the old days, I'll bite. I don't have anything "Henderson-scale" to share, but I've had some lovely moments in my games>Vampire: the Masquerade, playing a manipulative blood wizard/detective, social and mental focused>Have a run-in with a (rogue) werewolf. He spares me but intends to extort favors from me in exchange>Days later, chasing a lead, I accidentally intrude on him and his adopted family at a church gathering>He rips the reverend's book (a cultic text) from my hands, demands to know why the fuck I'm there>He's furious. "These are GOOD people! How DARE you bring your filth here! And after I let you LIVE!">I'm 150% toast. He outclasses me in every way. Once the humans leave he'll tear me apart in a blink>But I've picked up some hints about him, taken careful notes, and desperation helps me think fast>"I've been doing some soul-searching lately," I tell him, half-honestly. "I've seen some strange signs...">Proceed to pull a "We're not so different, you and I" speech out of my ass, make some wild guesses>He's lonely, corrupted in some way, is looking for redemption at this church (cult). Turns out I'm right.>I draw parallels between us, get deep into his psyche. I see rage become existential disgust, horror>Shaking, he shoves the book back into my hands. "Never come back. Do that and we're square."And that's how I walked into the den of a werewolf, and walked away without a scratchBut I still had a mystery to solve, and then an apocalypse to prevent, so I knew I'd end up breaking our truce. Did everything I could to prepare myself in the meantime, though
>>96835519>the storyIt's good, thank you.>>96834757A crit roll in a tense combat situation?
Had a call of cthulhu game where I stunned both the enemy and the GM with use of the law skill, cause we were in a dreamworld, and I had pretty high law as a cop, so I figured off dreamworld logic, you could will the guy to stop in the name of the law. It worked. That guy got promoted for the sequel. That one was wild, people realized it's a dream, you could just summon and do crazy stuff if you roll well enough. I forget if this Christmas demon character's hostages survived or not, but we blitzed through that one. This was more a prequel for a much longer campaign.
>>96837188There's more to the story, but life calls
>>96836495No, it was solving a riddle. Later I saw the DM notes and regardless if we succeeded or failed, we still would've fought the troll in the next room. His lore dump took an extra 20 minutes out of the session, though.
>>96835519Good story, thank you anon
>>96834421>Be le me>be le playing le dungeons and le dragons>be le fighter>fighting le orc warlord>roll to intimidate>oh noes le natural 1>le orc warlord thinks it is seduction and is le flattered>roll to le attack in le disgust>another le natural 1>le dm says I gently caress his le cheek>say le fuck it and roll to seduce>le natural 20>le orc agrees to marry me and end le war>totally le epic le win
>>96837194Keep going, anon.>>96834783The Tale of an Industrious Rogue was extremely good, I wish more campaigns were like this.>>96837844Le made of fail, get the le fuck out. Le return with a better story le next time.
Bump
>>96834421Post-post-post irony poisoning 4chan sucks.
>>96834421I don't really have le epic story, just a normal shitty oneWe had a DM who really liked WFRP and we recently had a campaign that took place in the world of Harry Potter of all places, mostly just playing as a bunch of shmucks that ended up actually helping win the war for the forces of "Good" aka potter. The Story had started with us speculating how many points of an imperial army it would take to defend Hogwarts as a joke, then becoming a "How would a bunch of normal idiots do in the evil wizard apocalypse." We ended up being pretty big players in the end of it all. We lost a few PCs, but we ended up basically being a major disruptive actor in whatever dark lord plots were happening, and even managed to save Potter once or twice (Our dm eventually did railroad a bit).I'll post some stories here if anyone cares, but i'd say some highlights were.1. How to handle a group of magic bastards2. How to not rob a wizarding house3. Baiting a bunch of wizards into C44. The Defense of Hogwarts.
Not me, but one of my players. The puny sorcerer gets shoved by a devil off of the edge of a cliff and into the river Styx. The party barbarian, childhood friend of the sorcerer, immediately dives into the river to save him. Once he lands, I tell him that to resist the brain drain of the river Styx, he must roll a DC 19 intelligence save. With a -1 int, the barbarian has to roll a natural 20, and he does. So as he resists the soul-sucking power of the Styx, he lifts his friend out of the water, and holds him up above his head to keep him out of the river. I tell him to roll a dexterity check to keep his friend safe, and he rolls another natural 20. On the sorcerer's turn, he casts Thunder Step, teleporting both of them back onto the cliff. Everyone made it out of that encounter alive.
>>96834685Aren't most youtube TTRPG story stealers white?
>>96841566I'm actually pretty interested if you're willing to share, the C4 bit and the defense of Hogwarts are both things that I'd welcome you going into detail on.
>>96841566By chronological order, please.
>>96834619No we didn't.What we did was a lot of self-congratulatory back-patting as our hobbies were mined out by faggots and retards.>/tg/ gets shit doneWe used to tell ourselves, after wanking ourselves blind to some half-formed designed-by-committee fapfic manifested from our collective inadequacies.
>>96843424>>96843826Aight well the way it started was our DM basically wanting to recreate the all guardsman party but in Hogwarts land.We had Sharp, the alcoholic Ex-Vet who ended up acting leader despite hating it.Dave, a squib that managed to avoid his family by running away from home and had a few issues with paranoia.Damian, our resident Mechanic turned Explosives expert after 2 weeks at a library.Hudson was our Field medic on the reasoning that he was the only med student nearby.And Andrew, some American that was enamored by swords and sorcery.None of had any real magic, but we had help with that later, and we eventually found a way around it anyway.We literally started up being in the same tavern Harry Hermione and Ron stumbled into in the 7th book, and after a bit of fist slinging not allowing some German wizard bastards screw over our favorite pub, we were recruited by a member of the order of the phoenix, one Alfred Pennyworth (Our dm was bad with names like us). We were going to paid a bunch of cash and also prevent a wizard who definitely wouldn't let us live now from becoming magic Hitler 2.0 by doing the following1. fuck up a bunch of evil wizard groups that were separate from the death eaters 2. fuck over the ministry by targeting traitors3. find a way to actually get modernish guns to work on wizards4. Make sure the Heroic Trio didn't get caught cause that was basically game over for the wizarding world Number 4 was surprisingly easy, just make sure we didn't interfere with them at all and cause enough of a ruckus that we were the target instead of them (We managed to accomplish this in 3 sessions surprisingly) Modern guns were a way of balancing shit according to the dm since we were told we had to have silver or pure iron bullets, so single shot guns, shotguns sorta, and muskets and flintlocks were king here.First real part next post
>>968447321. Fucking up a bunch of evil wizard groups.There were a few of these but the most memorable one was the 2nd one, namely the one that got us a bit of a target on our back.Our first real test besides breaking up a group of magic thugs was getting rid of what was basically a cult of vampire wizards called the Circle of the Golden Mask. They weren't actually vampires, but they would supposedly kidnap and kill any muggle born wizards and drink their blood to "Return magic to it's true pure blooded wielders." So yeah we decided to target them instead of some family called Malfoy or whatever (We had no idea who they were in character) It was actually pretty easy to scout them out given they were given a free pass by The Dark Lord (We were told not to say his name) to basically run free in Liverpool. Just checking the paper had at least 3 disappearances a week on the front page, and they even had an advent in the local wizard paper, trying to help sell their unique vision of pure blooded incest fantasies. We figured out pretty quickly what to do, got our guns, knives, and IEDs, and went to work.The most obvious tell that this was a cult of retards was that their mansion wasn't even well protected. They had no guards, no cameras, not even a chain link fence. We cased the joint during the day and found that the mansion literally just had a stone wall you could clamber over if you weren't fat, and a hedge that was more of a danger to good taste than anything else. Regardless, come nightfall, we prepped a bunch of C4 and silver bullets, and snuck in as quiet as possible while Andrew waited outside with a shotgun in case anyone tried to leave early, We very quickly realized we had vastly underestimated how magical defenses work, and next time we needed to do exponentially more research if we didn't want to resort to a nuclear option.
DM tought it would be funny to say that if I rolled a natural 20 I could use the mind control potion to control all the goblin army.I rolled a 20.I broke the campaign. Or was it the DM who broke it? But we had so much fun with the consequences of this roll that we didn't mind. The DM was butthurt, but he did come up with interesting ideas for how to fuck with us with our new army of oversealously loving slave army. I do enjoy it when we player make the story with our actions instead of following some DM planned plot. Like the quest to resurrect our leader (an old dead PC of another player). Fun times.
>>96844834Part 2Our first Mistake had been to try a side entrance, as our resident squib handled the lockpicking while we covered him with flintlocks. We opened the door, fanned out, and realized nobody was there, and sheepishly moved to the next door like a bunch of amateurs. In fairness, we had no idea how magic worked, and were basically dressed like a bunch of British football hooligans that had found an ammunition depo, so the fact the evil wizards who immediately sensed us decided to wait to savor the kill as we left was understandable at least.We entered the large circular room after the small library we had first come to and saw a circle of masked wizards, bowing their heads to the floor and semi dancing around a circle of blood, apparently they'd already completed the blood removal, so that was plan A of saving the kidnapped wizards out the window, but we decided looting the place was a better plan. We started planting our expensive C4 on pillars, probably proud of ourselves that we'd gotten through without anyone getting hit with magic. We also opened doors we thought were cool and stole what looked shiny.We got to the 7th door when our £5 walkie talkie came to life and our lookout told us that a bunch of cloaked guys had just gone inside. Sharp told him to get the car started so we could bug out before shit went sideways, which is when Dave told us he got the lock open, and proceeded to open a door right into the golden masked wizard who was about as confused as we were. There was a moment of stunned silence, and then Damian made a decision for us. He threw his makeshift frag grenade to the wizard, slammed the door shut, and told us to duck. Nobody questioned this and we kept our heads down as the door exploded outwards. Shit immediately got weird.
>>96844966Part 3Realizing very quickly we had just started a potential chain reaction of fuck ups, we immediately all jumped into the room we had just partially blew up and began looking for cover or a window to start jumping out before we had wizards everywhere throwing blood magic or smelling us and going BLEH. Two things jumped out at us, one was the wizard who had made the catch of his life, and been turned into a pair of legs by the explosion, and the other wizard in the corner that had been shackled to the wall, who was now dead because she was filled with shrapnel. Small mistake aside, the more pressing issue was the room had no windows, and we had no idea how thick or magically powerful the wall was. Damian immediately got to work wiring c4 to blast through the wall as quick as possible as the rest of us took cover as we radioed Andrew to meet us on the south end so we could bug out. Shit immediately hit the fan as the dead woman Hudson had taken cover near suddenly started twitching, which made him break cover to see if he could help, whereupon a blast of red magic cut through the door hole to hit him square in the back. As we shot through the hole, Dave went to check on our medic and dragged him to cover. Thankfully, he'd only been his with a stunning spell, so he started prepping ice water. Sharp yelled out the door and asked what the hell the attackers wanted. Instead of a nice simple barrage of spells, a voice telling us to surrender, or even silence, we got a nasally voice telling us that we would make fine sacrifices to the Dark Lord, and praising some dark lord about worthiness. This monologue went on for about 4 minutes, where upon Hudson was able to recover, and unshackle the prisoner. As Damian finished setting the explosive, Sharp thanked the cult for it's time, and motioned to blow the wall so we could leave. The fact this went off without a hitch was nothing short of a miracle.
>>96845082As the wall blew, we ran through as fast as we could while we threw a few IEDS behind us to get the cultists to back off, causing quite a fuss in the surrounding area as we saw windows light up with confused muggles looking out to see what the fuss was. We hit the detonator for the C4 we procured, only for the bombs to not go off. We had a small round of swearing as we ran for the wall, hearing some more swearing behind us as the dark wizards raised their wands, glowing with the same red glow. Which was when Andrew apparently had had the idea that the wall wasn't that thick, as he broke through both the wall and the hedge with the truck. While what he did probably saved us as the spells bounced off the truck as the wizards turned to face the new threat. This meant very little to the American, because he also got hit.Now stupefy is a strange spell, namely the fact that it stuns someone by basically making them go rigid. Andrew had put his foot to the accelerator as he'd been hit, so the two ton truck kept going. A few words of panic were heard behind us as we made it out through the hole, as the truck slammed through the wooden walls and made it's way directly into the foyer. Now while this didn't cause anything to go off, our explosives expert started hammering the detonator, thinking it was better if something went off to distract the wizards enough that they could rescue the truck and Andrew in the distraction. Unfortunately, we hadn't known that the blood circle was filled with magic, making it very sensitive to release if something went wrong. So when one C4 Brick went off, it set off the circle. We saw and felt the flash as the mansion went into flames, killing anyone who had been still inside. And that's how we lost both our truck, quite a bit of our extra ammo and powder, and our first PC.
>>96834619It's not 2006 anymore. "Fun" is cringe.
>>96844202Could you lighten up? /tg/ got shit done, and it was some very good shit too. Angry Marines were peak. Now you can either sit here and bawl your eyes out about how the corpos and libtards fucked up your favorite game, or you can pull yourself together, get a group of people to sign a petition, and try to take a stab at getting the game you knew and loved back.>>96845082>>96845188Good so far, keep going.>>96844896Could you tell us about the consequences?
>>96845188We mourned our dead comrade, then immediately made our way to a safe house we'd been told about in the area. Our wounded witch was eventually healed, and we were told by Alfred we had made grand headway, having killed off a dangerous group of wizards, cutting off an avenue of revenue for the new ministry of magic Voldemort had made, and even rescued someone who might know of any other contacts in the area we could target. We thanked him, and immediately requested a few weeks to maybe do a bit more research on how magic works, and also get a few new pieces of equipment. The next week we spent reading the wizarding times talk about a large magical explosion, a description of ne'er-do-wells that had murdered a circle of innocent Pure blooded wizarding family, and how the wizarding world would not tolerate such an attack by mortals. We asked Alfred what that meant, but he just shrugged and told us it was just lip service, and nobody actually gave a shit yet. We then spent the next few weeks avoiding any muggle law enforcement by staying indoors and researching magic to make sure we didn't fuck up again like last time. We eventually replaced our good friend but that's a story for a different time, he unfortunately didn't last long either.Lesson Learned: Bring redundant detonators and bring a med kit next time. Also don't use trucks as ammo.
>>96845219Fun is always based. And I don't care what anyone says about it. It's 2026 soon, and I'm going to try my damndest to bring back 2006 to 4chan.
>>96845233Thanks, I'll probably write more later when i have time. It'll be about the robbery since after this we had perpetual cashflow issues.
>>96834619/tg/ has been ruined over time by miserable twats like >>96834473 and >>96844202.
>>96845320And how the fuck do we unruin it? I'm thinking about federalizing the chans, throwing out feds and demoralization shills like >>96844202 and >>96834473, and hiring some good coders to get it on the level of major platforms like X and Reddit.
>>96843410Why do you think there's so many of them that use AI voices?
>>96845377By range-banning India and parts of Eastern Europe.
>>96845377>describes steps to ruin itI'm going to tell you something you probably won't like to hear. 4chan came about at a time when the MAJORITY of people using the internet to access sites like 4chan were fairly intelligent middle class white males in their late teens to early 20s who didn't really fit in offline. This was also before young white males were fully villainized, and before the economy tanked, so it was also fairly optimistic. Compare with today when the groups on the chans are the remnants of the same people as above (but with 20 years of world weariness), those from countries which are predominantly non-white and didn't have internet access 20 years ago, those too poor or stupid to access 4chan until there was a web browser in their hand, and kids who have grown up entirely in a post 9/11 world and all that entails.
>>96845410>rangeban India, Israel, all of Africa, and parts of Eastern Europe and Middle AsiaFtfy.>>96845551I know that there are a lot of problems and that a lot has changed over the years, but I will still try. What are your ideas on fixing 4chan?
Bump, this is interesting.
>>96845188>as the truck slammed through the wooden wallsI know it's a silly thing to get hung up on, but wooden walls?Neat story though.
>>96845320>>96845377Please, shut the fuck up. There's no reason to try and treat shitty stories as better than they were just because you're too young to remember the faggot who kept spamming it in his desperate attempt to force a meme. The kind of retard who genuinely can't think for himself and listens to Reddit of all places are the people who've ruined this board, and you're too dumb to even understand that because Reddit hasn't told you that.
>>96846532I fucked up with that oops it was the door he flew through, been a minute.>>96841566>>96844732>>96845265Second story is how not to Rob a Dark WizardThe Party at this point had been roaming around for 2 months, we'd lost Andrew's character twice now, and he'd rolled up a 3rd character call Patrick who was a norf FC in all but name. We'd also lost Dave who'd gotten the killing curse to the head after he'd botched a roll and a wizard had gotten his wand before he could reload the pistol he'd bought. At this point, we were still low on funds, mainly because we'd spent all the money we'd gotten from robbing the golden mask place on ammo, supplies for food and water, and we'd sunk a bit that we had left towards helping the order of the phoenix handle it's own jobs (This was as our dm put it, a way to gather allies if we ever needed them.) We were told of a rather influential wizarding family that was funding half of the Death Eater excursions into other countries (as we learned later, they'd been gathering dark magic for a rather dangerous experiment.)Dave at this point had been replaced by Kyle, a British thug that'd was more the king of breaking and entering muggle homes. He was a hireling we'd decided to just try and work with the group because we were having trouble finding a new sneaky bastard that wouldn't backstab us. Which as it turns out, was smart because Kyle unfortunately didn't last long.
>>96846989The "Job" as it was was primarily to rob the bastards blind within the muggle world as well as the wizarding world, since they had their fingers in both pies at this point. We had ta few ideas for the muggle part, but the wizarding part should be easy. We'd just hired a new sneaky git and we'd already done a job with him to steal a tiara that apparently gave magical abilities to those without (didn't work). The wizarding family in question only two homes of note, one in East London, and the other in the countryside outside Wessex. While that might have put his wealth in question, he had from Alfred's understanding metric tons of gold squirrelled away in a vault below his house, something about refusing to ever trust goblins with his money again. Supposedly the Wessex home was where most magical trinkets and funds were kept during the original ministry, but now that he was directly funding Voldemort's plans, he was moving things to London to live more in high society. We needed to move quickly or the gold would effectively be out of reach, at least to us.Some ideas involved hiring prostitutes to seduce him, seducing him ourselves, or finding blackmail in the wild where we'd be able to get him to stop. The finalized Plan A eventually became to just go with our newest members idea: Loot the place and hold him at gun or sword point until he gave us answers and cash we wanted. Plans B through D were there to keep things from going haywire afterwards, involving explosives, a nice visit from Patrick to whoever was bothering us. Plan E was "Kill everyone and leave no witnesses" Alfred and Sharp decided that last plan was the worst one, but were overruled given that the first time we'd done a heist like this, we'd gotten the whole of Liverpool's police going door to door, less witnesses were better according to the rest of the team. Granted, neither of them needed to worry, as we'd grossly underestimated how remote the Wessex Location had been.
>>96834703>There's plenty of actually good /tg/ storiesGot some? I’m only familiar with the All Guardsmen Party and the Shadowrun Storytime
>>96847051The major issue is we'd expected a mansion that was somewhat easy to get into, go through the roof, get in and out with ease without tripping any alarms these guys tend to set up at side entrances. Garfield, our target, had other ideas. We had a wizard with us this time, a bloke named Rigsby, and he basically told us that the entire house had at least 2 layers of alarms on nearly every surface, complete with dogs outside to ward off anyone unwanted and traps around the entire lawn. Not only that, he had made the house in a forest, but had cleared out almost a World's cup field worth of clearing that made it difficult to jump to anywhere worth a damn entering. there were a few ideas that came to light now that things were more complicated, but in the end, we found two entrances not trapped. An obviously trapped window even though magic wasn't pinging it, and a window right next to the dogs that was seemingly open all the time.Now as it has been said, we were the good guys here. The allies, the true brits, not dark wizards, monsters, and evil bastards. Killing dogs was clearly beneath us, and would alert the owner that something had gone wrong. We came up with a few plans, involving meat, drugs, toys and treats, but we'd have to wait for nightfall to do what was needed. As Kyle snuck through the field at nightfall however, he immediately made it clear he wasn't doing any of that. He moved around the safe spot, ignored it entirely, and went through the obviously trapped window. Bloody fucking idiot.
>>96847109The thing was, nothing immediately came to kill him. The dogs didn't care, no alarms went off, nothing. We got spooked for a few seconds before we got a call asking what the hell was the hold up. Damian swore under his breath and started leading us to the south of the house. We'd planned that to be our exit since by the time we found the gold and magic items, that was where the trees were thickest and where we'd be able to sneak out without too many accidents. At first, things went perfectly fine. Kyle had gotten in, turned off a window alarm (So we thought) and had begun searching the rest of the house while the rest of us started roaming the basement while Patrick was on guard duty outside. We'd even found good blackmail material in the form of embarrassing letters to his wife, daughter, and a mistress in London. Things were fine until Hudson clicked a brick in to start revealing the treasure trove. As the brickwork began to magically move away, two things happened. One, the massive Vault door appeared instead of treasure, meaning we would lose the stealth angle if we blew it open since we definitely didn't have time to find the combination for a vault this big. The second thing that happened was that Kyle unlocked a door and found Garfield's daughter asleep in the master room. Kyle had a decision to make; Wake her up and force her to divulge information at gunpoint, or let her sleep and lock the door before she woke up. He picked the first option after debating for a minute, then snuck up to tie her up and take her hostage. At this point he was rudely reminded that this was the wizarding world and not the muggle world when he failed to notice the claw marks on the side of the bed frame. Turns out Garfield Sr was running away from his family for a reason.
>>96834647>>96834619>once upon a time people had fun hereyeah then Neckbeardia happened
>>96834421Did you time travel from 2006?
>>96848166What do you mean? Nothing's changed. ;_;
>>96834421First time ever playing WoD. It's a mixed bag of college dudes & high-schooler (me & my friends) I'm like 14 at the time, only really played d&d before (some MERP & stuff but not a lot) c9llege guys are all big on WoD, they're trying to tell me the jist of the setting, all talking over each other & through jokes. At the time I'm just this naive kid & feel super overwhelmed but I roll with it. The game is gonna be a mixed group of any & all splats, mostly werewolves & vampires. I went with werewolves & since we had like 12+ players I wasn't given much time with the book. So I started with bullet points. The Silver Fangs were the noble guys & I like knights & paladins so I picked them. They cared about Pure Breed so I took some of that, & I wanted a Grand Klaive cause they were big cool magic silver swords that everyone gushed over so I took that. Then I realized that it would give me a penalty from being silver so I took Silver tolerance. I also chose Galliard. Once we were underway everyone got to learn who each other was & the other werewolves in the group & me started off the first session forming a pack & doing a trial to earn the favor of the Buffalo totem as our pack totem. This mostly involved us chasing it as it ran across the Great Plains of the spirit world & ended with me and two others holding on to the back of it & doing damage as it ran off a cliff. The others all jumped off expecting it was gonna fall & die, but it instead started to run on air. The fact that we stood on it against the threat of falling & dying earned us it's favor. Then it was time to choose a leader. Since I was a Pure Breed Silver Fang with social skills & a Grand Klaive & Silver Tolerance & was one of the ones who kept hold of Buffalo all the college guys picked me to be alpha. I didn't even know what the hell was happening for the first handful of sessions, let alone how to lead, but I thought it was pretty awesome to be chosen as a leader & impress these college dudes.
>>96849285Also, I think it's kind of funny to have made such an OP character when I had never seen or heard of the game before that day or the fact that I had only maybe 30mins to flip through the book & make my character
>>96849291That's the beauty of Old World of Darkness jank. Hell, even once they rebooted as New World of/Chronicles of Darkness, they never really got the hang of balancing.
>>96849413Games don't need balancing. Games were better with just a little bit of jank. The problem became that game designers started designing games for conventions instead of guys at home
KILL ALL CONTENT FARMERSKILL ALL CONTENT FARMERSKILL ALL CONTENT FARMERS
>>96834473>>96844202>>96846605Not like you’re providing anything better by being such miserable twats. We get it, you hate old shit being reposted. Fair. So why don’t you do like the other anons in this thread and tell some better stories of your own? Or do you not play games either and just act like miserable Reddit twats yourselves just complaining about games rather than playing games yourselves?
>>96852045Because most people don't want to provide content for lazy youtubers who want to make dnd tiktoks
>>96845320>>96845377>>96845638There are multiple reason /tg/ became shit.>banning playing games on /tg/>content farmers making the board more hostile to the idea of contributing>oldfags leaving and being replaced with newfags that had no respect for the old board cultureThe spirit of /tg/ is still around but it isn't on this website. It fell apart when people stopped caring about having fun. Realistically if we were to make an alternative it should be a general hobby site since all hobbies ultimately feed into each other, whether people realize it or not.
>>96852045>you hate old shit being reposted.I don't like shit being posted. Old /tg/ had some actual good stories.
>>96852807Then post good shit instead of bitching, you numpty faggot
>>96852558Most people don't think about it at all and wouldn't even be aware such things existed if you faggots weren't constantly whining about them.
>>96852713>>content farmers making the board more hostile to the idea of contributingI don't understand why the fuck anyone should care about this shit.What the fuck is even a content farmer? Some faggot posting 4chan screenshots on xitter? So what?
>>96853946it's just one faggot having a paranoid schizophrenic fit
>>96847242Sorry had work back to this.Down in the basement we had finished planting all the charges when we got a bunch of static on our walkie talkies, which we eventually picked up to hear someone who was NOT Kyle start talking to use. It spoke in a low whisper, welcoming us to its new den, and claiming we would make excellent meals if were so bold as to enter such an obviously dangerous lair. Turning to a different frequency we used for Patrick, we told him to get his sorry ass over and prepare to bug, which he said wasn't a problem, except for the 2 wolfmen who had suddenly appeared in the yard, right by the dog houses. In the background our wizard sentry was nearly panicking, saying something about werewolves and that the entire house had just lit up like a Christmas tree, including a big Death Eater Symbol above the mansion. It was around this point we started panicking, until Sharp told us that the longer we took the faster we'd die, and if we got our fast enough we could still do what we came to do. Unfortunately, this meant pulling out the nuclear option again. We got to work placing C4, random explosives, and anything we had to make the room into a deathtrap while we prepared part 2 of plan F. Unfortunately, we didn't have a fireplace, but we worked out a loophole.
>>96854460As the werewolves began to beat down the door, Beatrice the wolf began to taunt us through the door, calling us fools, meat, and other things that some people that weren't Damian would find hot. Thankfully nobody said anything stupid while we finished setting up explosives. As we finished our preparations, the door was broken down, and we were left looking at two werewolves, a wolf headed hybrid, and what was left of Dave in the jaws of a massive wolf monster. Clearly we were seeing the missus and her spawn. Whatever bravado, intimidation, or smug wizard/wolf superiority vanished from their faces was they looked at the scene in front of them.They had about 4 seconds to look at us with as many bags of gold we could carry, a bunch of experimental floo powder in our arms and about 100 Kg of tactical c4, landmines, and IEDS around the vault and all the walls. Verbatim, the wolf hybrid started saying "Don't be hasty, we can work out a deal here." We looked at Sharp. He flashed his middle finger, we followed suit, and we threw the powder down at the floor. We hoped that Dave didn't mind being buried with a bunch of wolf hybrids. We also hoped any Death Eaters that found the house would be so confused that they wouldn't bother chasing our truck driver. As it turned out we didn't need to worry, since he'd been just waiting at a local bar for us to radio in and had been regaling our wizard friend, who we learned actually had a name (Gambian, played by Dave now) about how the local football scene was way more impressive than any hogwash about broom sticks. Bloody Football fans.
>>96854894Part 3, baiting wizards into C4 with the Chosen one and tactical GTFOOur MO at this point was pretty well known by the Ministry and the Cock Eaters (We'd started spraying the symbol and replaced the snake with a cock whenever we robbed a place blind.) We still had funds out the ass at this point from doing this for 6 straight months. We were bloody pros at this point, and had lost Hudson to another ambush (He'd unfortunately gone down rather sadly, taking a knife to the throat while medicating a muggle, but i don't have enough thread to go into it.) And Patrick had gotten a brand new magic arm after he'd tanked a Crucio curse that'd required us to cut his drinking arm off. We had a new character, a doctor named Pyotor Motolosky, who'd ran away from death eaters in Russia and ended up with a massive chip on his shoulder we had the ability to help cure. We'd gotten a bit more badass as time had gone on, killing low level dark wizards with ease, and we didn't sweat as much when they started pulling wands since more often than not we out ranged them with enchanted Flintlock rifles and pistols. We weren't immune to killing curse, as we'd learned when a random we'd pulled for a single mission got blasted when running for a door, but we were pulling off heists to the point that the heat was starting to get to us. We had 3 safehouses of the order of the phoenix raided, to the point that we were turned away by a member for bringing too many wizards to handle. Getting spotted basically summoned at least 3 wizards and bounty hunters to try and kill us with extreme prejudice, and we even had wanted posters, wanted posters that just said "Dead". We took that as a point of pride, and also escalation, since we had stopped trying to be nice after the werewolf and medic kill. However, things going hot had forced us to seriously consider different options, and we had a new problem. The Dark Lord was stepping up his ritual game.
Someone over on /osrg/ posted an entire 200 page campaign write up.Pretty beasting
>>96855070I tried reading it and gave up after two pages. All 200 sounds like a death sentence unless you've been diagnosed with pure undiluted autism.
>>96854999As we found out over the course of our robberies and assassination attempts (And outright beatings when we got caught in the woods by a bunch of bounty hunters and Death Eaters) Voldemort was getting paranoid. According to the order members who were paid more to think than we were, Potter had apparently gotten another of his Horcruxes, putting us a bit further down the timeline. However, alongside making less public appearances and causing a few people to get spooked, he'd started collecting dark tomes and the like to start preparing some ritual to either create more, or just straight up become immortal. The specter of death had him running mad, and he was even making his allies start increasing security and take body guards. We made the decision to go to ground and try to find a better source of information than the snippets we'd gotten from random order members. We had discussed with one Remus Lupin. our new contact, the weird shit we'd found, and he told of us about some raving lunatic that new a lot about weird death majiks and charms. One Xenophilius Lovegood. A known crackpot, idiot, and apparently just as insane as the other wizards we'd been slitting throats of. We voiced our protests and even Lupin seemed dubious on visiting him, saying he'd been jumpy as of late. Sharp however, told us all our other leads had dried up, and we were clearly running low on time. Grumbling, we set out to visit the insane hermit that was more than likely going to get us killed than help us. Remus patted each of us on the back as we left to get our marching gear, and warned us to keep our triggers ready, but be wary of a certain trio, which was when the smarter half of us realized we'd been put on babysitting duty.
>>96853155>Dude if we just like, completely ignore people shitting in our cheerios, nobody would even notice! It's your fault for pointing out it's poop!Okay faggot.>>96853946>What the fuck is even a content farmer? Some faggot posting 4chan screenshots on xitter? So what?Close. It's mainly on Youtube. Basically faggots ripping stories from 4chan (because it's anonymous, unlike Reddit, which can be tracked) and making videos about their "Le EPIC DnD stories that TOTALLY happened guys!" so they can farm ad revenue.Some are even more shameless and literally just read posts verbatim.>inb4 people always shared funny 4chan stories on Youtube!Nah this is different. At least with someone like say, DreadAnon, there is a modicum of effort to do a silly voice, or little animatic, or fucking SOMETHING to, you know, enhance the content.But alot of TTRPG content farmers literally just read off their phone screens or just get an AI to do it.No, sorry, I do not exist to make some lazy fat slob or street-shitting pajeet free money.It started around Covid when DND really blew up then got 100 times worse with AI becoming accessible.Fuck off, go farm your content elsewhere.
I played Starwars Saga as a human (mandolorian) soldier. The one other guy in the party plays a sith force user/jedi class. We both work for the Empire & we are told we need to go into this town & flush out a rebel cell. It's just the two of us so I go to the cantina to just sort of watch & listen & get a feel for the place. Mister sith apprentice goes sneaking around town murdering people with his lightsaber. Into the cantina walks some dudes who I spot have a rebel symbol on their clothes. So I take my carbine & sit it across my lap at the dude & open fire. His buddy's shoot back at me & it finally gets interesting. I dive behind the bar & toss grenades, the dudes die but more are coming. Shoot, some more & I move to where the vehicles are all parked. While I'm killing rebel scum, blowing shit up, & hiding behind cover, the sith is now walking around town with his lightsaber on full display now, cutting down anyone who challenges him. It's about this time that the rebel cell groups up with actual weapons & marches straight towards the cantina to wipe ,e out. As they go from point A to point B though, the sith is just standing there. The whole group guns him down, despite the sith trying to blaster parry. By this time I have jury rigged more grenades to some speeder bikes & set them to torpedo the rebels. I blow them all up, shoot the stragglers, & call the evac.before I leave I snag the sith lightsaber thinking to sell it, or maybe use it as a melee weapon.Next session the other player has rerolled the exact same character & he is pissed at me for "getting him killed". Next we are told to storm a rebel military outpost. This time my character stays at maximum effective range, sniping into the outpost & moving around. Trying to do things "tactically" for a dumb assignment highschooler mindset. The new sith only has his lightsaber & no realmranged weapons though. So he charges solo into melee & gets killed. After taking out the outside guards & jamming their comms
>>96856411After taking out the guards & jamming the comms to prevent reinforcements from killing me, I go in after looting the sith's lightsaber. I stealth my way to their armory & help myself to more explosives. BTW explosives in Saga are a very reliable way to kill people. The force pales in comparison to the power of a bunch of thermal detonators. Which is what I start rigging all around the base as I do my best impression of Solid Snake. Session ends & the new one picks up where we left off. This time player 2 is LIVID that his other sith has gotten killed twice "because of me" so he begs the DM to let him play as a droideka this time. So to make things easy my character finds a busted droideka in the base & I repair it & activate it. Player 2 takes this opportunity to try to murder my Mando out of rage. Some how I kill it before he killed me. So I patch myself up, grab some extra Intel laying around & run out of there before I blow it all sky high. Player 2 is all but refusing to play anymore, but a few friends join the group & we are finally not just a pair of bickering assholes. Now we have a proper party & the DM let's player 2 roll ANOTHER sith. This time we are on an Imperial troop ship as it gets attacked by a big rebel ship. We decide that we don't have enough firepower on the ship to destroy the enemy so we make a suicide run straight into the rebel ship using a small shuttle. We somehow survive & are now in hostile territory. I tell the npc soldiers with us to set up the E-Webs in the hanger & kill anything that's not us. Now we are going corridor to corridor, the player 2 is now happy because his enemies are in melee range & he's not getting shot to pieces. We find a computer terminal & I hack it to get some ship info & the DM mentions that I have access to some of the programs & stuff on the ship. So I hack the computer to trigger an evacuation order saying the ship has lost all life support. Rebel scum start fleeing toward the hanger
>>96856458The hanger with the E-Webs. They all died. I stroke onto the bridge of the rebel ship, shot the captain & took the whole thing with minimal damage. This ship then became our party bus & my own personal badass pride & joy.Also player 2 eventually ended up pissing off a Hutt, who put a bounty on his head, & despite player 2 constantly trying to undermine my Mando or trying to get him killed, I tried really hard to protect him. Eventually the Hutt ambushed us with just too much firepower & while I killed the Hutt, the sith died again & he quit.
>>96834421>Talk about your greatest, Henderson scale-breaking, made of win moments here.Absolutely not. This thread is only an excuse for joyless cynical faggots to shit on other people's fun by insisting that nothing fun or exciting or interesting ever happens. You wanted to ask /tg/ this question in 2013 if you wanted genuine answers and engagement.
Oh my gosh this thread is epic. Epic for the WIN!
>>96856060>people shitting in our cheeriosExcept they're not. At worst they're looking through the windows into what is already a public space. Which is a bit creepy and annoying, but not a big deal. You're the one smearing shit everywhere in order to put them off. Which not only doesn't work at all, but covers the place in shit.
>>96855810We spent about a week trudging through the countryside looking for this fucker, while our Gambian (Our only wizard mind you) spent his time in contact with the order to keep us informed. Given our more VIP status, so we weren't kept in the dark anymore regarding Potter or Hogwarts, given the warning that Hogwarts itself was big Dark Wizard territory now, and Potter had apparently gotten at least 2 Horcruxes destroyed, with only 3 supposedly left in the wild. One was with the main man himself, but the other two were supposedly hidden. We were told he usually had them in odd places over the radio we had with us, but we decided to cross that bridge when we got to it.Finding the house wasn't a real issue, it was the huge red flags we saw. It was in the open, surrounded by grassland, and even looked like a shitty little house fit perfectly for an ambush. We were about to walk into the most obvious trap ever, and we decided that we needed an exfil strategy. Grunts that we were, we nearly caused a campaign issue when we tagged three targets approaching us as we started planning. We planned targets, got beads, then prepared to shoot, right before we were told they were Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Oops.
>>96834421>made of winNow I'm imagining a poster from 2000's /tg/ logging on after being in a coma or something.
>>96857466We swapped stories with the trio, explaining that we were their bodyguards for the next bit, since our resident bastard in chief had stepped up his paranoia. We got a few questions and protests regarding this, namely "We were fine for 6 months we'll be fine now" "Where the hell were you when we needed you." and finally "Why are you dressed like a bunch of renaissance fair rejects that got lost in an ammo depo." We fielded the first two questions with the following. 1. We had been making sure they WEREN'T targeted by being nuisances. 2. We were really busy dying to Death Eaters and causing issues. 3. We had no idea where the fuck they had been given we weren't on a "need to know basis" and finally 4. If we were going to be using fucking pike and shot to kill dark wizards, we were going to look fabulous while doing it damnit. Answers 1-3 were taken an accepted, we instead got rolled eyes and mutterings about idiots from the 4th. We even had clothes ready for them, but their loss we supposed. The conversation moved to more important matters, namely how best to handle the obvious trap we were entering. We were told that was stupid, Lovegood was an ally and a friend to the order, he wouldn't try to kill us. We explained that we were too paranoid for that and that we'd prepare for anything if they were willing to let us in on any plans they had, saying we were planning an exit strategy. The witch among us looked at us funny, then asked. "Wait, did you not Apparite over here? You marched across all of this?" We immediately took this into consideration and told them what our new plan was, namely, hear the old man out, and if anything funny happened, Apparite us immediately to a safe zone, and then find Remus and smack him for not telling us we could fucking teleport instead of hoofing it across the English countryside. Surprisingly, we got agreement on that last point from Ron and Harry, but we chalked that up to general crankyness.
>>96856745Buy an ad or ask ChatGPT to write you another epic bullshit story for your tiktoks.These people and their enablers (like you) the entire reason most of /tg/ has packed up and left or refuses to share their stories publicly. Because a good 75% of the time its not another good natured anon who wants to chat, it's some faggot who wants to feed your life experience into his ai slop prompt and get free money.I bet dollars to donuts you'll see some variation of this thread being regurgitated on youtube short slops but you don't give a fuck because either you yourself are well aware or think it's okay to encourage this faggot behavior.
>>96834421I read about this Henderson of yours and it is obvious the person who wrote it has no idea about how ttrpgs work.
>>96858641I won't see shit because I barely use Youtube unless I'm looking for something specific.Presumably most of /tg/ has left for the same reasons every board on the site is dying. Though it probably doesn't help /tg/ that any threads about actually discussing your experiences in the hobby get filled with you faggots whining, "NO, NEVER TALK ABOUT YOUR HOBBY ON THE HOBBY BOARD STOP NO AAAAAAAAH". Who the fuck cares if some faggot has found a way to make pennies from shitposts? It's not like you were ever going to see those pennies.
>>96857603Sorry had work call.When we got close, Lovegood was there to welcome us to his home, franticly searching from side to side, and motioned us to follow. Or rather, motioned for just Harry and his friends. He apologized and said he didn't have enough room, but relented when we made it very clear that only Sharp would be entering, even if we did managed to hear most of it as we stood guard outside. We got a front row seat to the explanation of the Deathly Hallows, complete with the DM telling us just to watch that one really good puppet show the movie showed. He did mention that during the explanation, we were to roll for how wary we were of any ambushes. Surprisingly, the other shoe didn't ever actually drop. Lovegood even began to give us actual information on the evil tomes the Dark Lord was collecting. He did keep mentioning that we shouldn't worry about his daughter or anything, she was fine, just off gathering wood for the fireplace. We didn't believe that for a moment, but would feel vindicated later when we had time for such things as additional whinge time.
>>96862976Also I gotta say the word limit is fucking with my writing here sorry for the fragmented posting.Most of the fine print went above our heads, given that our knowledge on true dark magic was limited, but the down low was that our good friend Voldemort was planning on circumventing his previous immortality to become a true immortal, namely by creating a horcrux that could never truly be destroyed. We countered this with the irrefutable fact that explosives solve everything, but he said that this was different. Not only was he trying to create a horcrux, he was making a part of the earth a horcrux. As long as a part of the earth existed, he'd be able to pop up like a pimple and just return to life. And given that we did not have enough explosives to do utterly destroy a piece of soil, we had a problem. Thankfully, he mentioned that not only would he need 7 different horcruxes in a single place, it would need to be hallowed ground, connected to the caster in a personal way, and filled with the blood of wizards and muggles equally. It would need to be defiled over the course of a year, made to be unrecognizable from hell itself. We would have thought we had more time, had the Wizard trio and Gambian had gone increasingly white after each description. When Sharp asked what was wrong, Hermione spoke up first. "Hogwarts." She gasped out. "He's making Hogwarts itself a Horcrux." We decided it was time to start moving, and very quickly started saying our goodbyes.
>>96863068As we began to move, we Lovegood offered us a solution. He 'Knew a guy' who would be able to get us close to more Death Eaters to prevent the creation of another Horcrux, and directed us to an inn of thieves and outlaws in Wiltshire, about 2 days march from here. He offered us supplies as well, mentioning that if we Apparited, we'd be able to scope out any mansions and stop any dark rituals. Something didn't sit right , and him giving us exact locations didn't help. We were glad when our charges also voiced concern, with Ron and Harry increasingly looking at Lovegood warily. Surprisingly, it was Patrick that spoke with Sharp regarding something, then walked over to Lovegood to offer our goodbyes. >Gotta say mate, I wish I could offer you a drink, but without fire the tea would be a bit of a bother wouldn't it mate.>Oh, o-of course. I do think i could make a fire if needed.>Obviously mate, I knew you were a good wizard! Of course you'd need the fire from the lass in the woods right?>Well->Mate, I gotta ask, why's she taking so long, she need to tinkle or somethin?>N-No of course not, Luna should be back any moment.>Mate we walked here, there ain't a forest for a kilometer.Lovegood went pale as Sharp now moved to confront the man.>Is there an ambush at this Inn. Answer quickly.Lovegood pointed to his throat and nodded, as Sharp noticed the small sign on his neck. Thinking quickly, he drew his knife and cut the tattooed area after making sure they were out of sight in the house. He then motioned for our resident wizards to heal the gash as quickly as possible. It was around this time that Lovegood finally spilled the beans. The inn was an ambush, and his daughter and many of her friends had been taken hostage to set up the ambush to finally kill us and the Trio at last. Patrick was so damn smug saying he'd been the first to notice Lovegood had wood to spare. Nobody told him we'd known since the beginning.
bump
>>96856060>Basically faggots ripping stories from 4chanCan you actually explain why it matters if some faggots are reposting whatever shit they find on 4chan?r/4chan has always been a thing.
>>96844202I was there. You are wrong.Your bitterness and malicious agenda does not hold water.
>>96845638>also include Russia and every Balkan nation in this list
>>96852558I could not give a shit what some queers do on some other site. This is an anonymous image board, if you want to claim ownership of something you shouldn't be here in the first place. Some content thief on some shitty YouTube channel could not possibly matter less to coming here on the chans and hanging out with the lads. Fuck em. They arent even real.
>>96858641Cower in your hole then, and live in fear of "them". I'd rather just post whatever i like, when and how it pleases me. >copying this thread to YouTube shortsA: nigger nigger nigger watermelon chicken food stamps heil Hitler and where's my reparations, I have now cast the spell of Remove MonetizationsB: holy shit you're really willing to cut off your own cock just because someone else might see you piss into this sea of piss and steal your precious piss
>>96856477Gottem
Alright before hooligans vs wizards anon gets back. I will start a story of my own. This one was one I Dm'ed a couple years ago. Here's some background.I wanted to play a dark heresy game. I was into warhammer around that time and I learned of the rule system. I quickly realized that there was no way I was going to get someone else to run. So I cracked open the books skimmed them and prepared to Dm. I decided 3 things.>I wanted there to be multiple pathsI made sure it wasn't linear.>I heard Dark Heresy was very lethalSo I kept fights to a minimum.> I wanted an investigation.So I set off coercing my sisters (14,12) and my dad into making characters so that we could play.
>>96869807We ended up with a voidborn assassin (starfall), a feral worlder assassin (scarlet) and a hiver scum (tofu) The premise was essentially that an inquisitor roped them into a job that he was only doing because he owed someone a favorSo they land on the planet, they get a brief debrief "there are people trying to start a revolution kick their butts" they get set up with there contact who will provide the with provisions. They investigate and find two clues. 1 a minor noble went missing 2 they find a location in one of the rallys that the resistance is having.They arrive early. >Scarlet: Is there a ledge overlooking the area? I want to observe form afar>Tofu: I'll try to blend into the crowd, but up in the front.>Starfall: I'll be there I guess.>Me: After the crowd files in, the speaker walks in he is a thin man wearing a mask he has two guards protecting him. He takes to the podium at this point I start reading off the little blurb about his speech.The players look at each other>Scarlet: I take the shot with my hunting rifle.> Tofu: After she does that I will mop up the remaining guards with my shotgun.Several shots ring out, the man in the mask falls dead. Tofu offs the rest of the guards with his shotgun. The crowd scatters.>My Brain: ... ShitAfter this they go to investigate the nobles disappearance. The family is more or less trying to not make a huge scene out of itThey then proceed to try a whole forensics process, trying to take finger prints and if dna testing exists. You see I had forgotten that my sister was really into true crime. I sort of ad lib and point them in the direction of suspect.
>>96870114They proceed to flash a badge and set up dinner with the suspect. The suspect is higher noble who is essentially de valtos + the most uncanny valley psychopath possible + very obviously a serial killer. I describe him accidentally impaling his hand with a fork and not reacting>Scarlet: I try to flirt with him>My brain: "What the hell. Is she trying to make me uncomfortable and catch me off guard?">Me: How do you flirt with him?>Scarlet: Well the dish is lobster so I guess I'll try to eat it seductively. (She then attempts to mime eating a lobster seductively)>Me: Roll for it.There was no way she was going to actually seduce the nutter. But she rolled well enough that he decided she would be his next "target." After the meal was over he "invited" her on a date and told her to meet him outside his warehouse online in a dayThey break into this warehouse at night find the dead body and some mysterious pink ooze. They also loot some grenades they found in the warehouse. They then take off after getting rid of the security footage. Now they are in a private park right before Scarlet has her "date."In that park they find a shipment of the ooze that carries a gang symbol and a note. Scarlet ends up not going on the "date." (I had them debating it for a solid 10-20 minutes)So they follow a couple leads and they figure out that the gang which supplied the ooze is having a meeting with a couple middlemen.They broke into an informants "apartment" ransacked it while he was in the restroom and took him captive when he came back.My plan for the encounter was they approach the meeting place. They attempt to get in with some diplomacy, it fails. A fight breaks out and the big guys escape through the back while the mooks get ganked. The place has enough evidence to move forwardWhat happens>Tofu: Guards in the front... Is there a back way?>Me: Yes>My Brain: This looks like it will be tough fight I hope they survive
>>96870188They scout the backroom and notice the meeting inside.>Tofu: Can't we just throw a couple grenades in there and just slam the door?After the players coordinate the throwing, they end up chucking 3 or so frag grenades into the room, slamming the door and fleeing/taking cover. The explosion damage is really high. By the time the guards from the front make it to the gang leader the walls are painted with chunky salsa and the party is long gone. Unbeknownst to the party a couple pdf officers with a sinister bent were in there and are also dead. This causes me to scramble to figure out how to proceed as almost all the important people are now dead. They find some stray evidence figure out the pink ooze in occultic in nature and is being created via an evil ritual.They drop by the secret ritual room, prepare grenades and wipe out all loose ends.The lesson is if you give a party explosives they're gonna need a bodybag.
>>96834421Short one, this was recent and comes from a solo session meant to ease my character into the party for a Shadowrun game.>Technomancer living in GM's homebrew city>Matrix friend contacts me about other users on a forum we both use going missing>Look into it>They all died after participating in some matrix game ARG, pretty sure GM took inspiration from all those "Pokemon Black game that kills you" creepypastas>All of them posted the same thing before dying, "I found the key to the black door">Find the ARG game and start following it to figure out what happened>Eventually leads me to a node with a game inside and Black IC set to attack anyone who enters without the passcode from past nodes in the ARG>Nail my matrix perception>Game is a trap, playing it causes a series of programs to go off the moment you reach the end. The programs will hack your commlink, drain your bank account, trace your location, make you post about the key on the forum, then kill you with Black IC.>No spider (human cybersecurity) on node>Get idea>Remember that GM's city has a private security company that tests Ares militech prototypes and thus has all the Big Guns, with a response time measured in minutes.>Meant to be a danger on high-risk jobs, protecting the absolute wealthiest people/locations in the city>Spoof my location to trace back to milisec's HQ>Play game>Node goes dark and I'm shunted out forcefully minutes later, before the Black IC can trigger.>See on the news that a Vory hideout got absolutely destroyed by a milisec after attempting to hack and embezzle milisec funds.>Never left my house that entire session>This incident will apparently be what gets the team's Fixer to notice and recruit me.
>>96834421I can give moments of fail instead since they're funnier:>D&D set in DM's homebrew setting, generic fantasy>party is full of freakshit races + 1 human>me: minotaur wizard (I rolled that combination just to try something I wouldn't otherwise do)>owlkin rogue>dragonborn barbarian>human bard>my wizard is an ex smuggler who used his labyrinthine navigation to navigate the capital's sewer system for a gang of smugglers, doesn't care much about rules and is way more intelligent than he is wise or social>barbarian is the typical 8 INT barbarian, also naive as a pup>bard is a pampered noble with basically 0 life experience>the only remotely reasonable character is the rogue that's currently working as a spy, his faux identity is that of a government worker>at the table we play with the "one man"-rule, meaning that if only one person can't make it to the sesh, we play anyway, only when 2 people can't come we postpone>the sessions where the owl rogue isn't there to wrangle the rest of the party, shit always goes hilariously south>first time he wasn't there we managed to offend the dwarven kingdom by trying to bribe one of their guards, trespassing and breaking and entering. The barb got captured and put in jail>owl rogue had to Better Call Saul him out of there>second time he's missing we encounter a tribe of primitive frog people in the swamp>we try our best at communicating but we only have one potion of comprehension which makes us understand them but not vice versa>I have part of a meteorite for plot reasons and I pull it out of my bag of holding in hopes to gift it to them and appease their anger (they're already pissed we're in their territory)>As soon as I show the stone, they get extremely angry and accuse me of stealing from their sanctuary and they try to take us prisoner>it escalates into a fight, now the tribe is hostile to usThe rogue player is gonna be delighted next session to find the new mess we made without him.
>>96870972>(I rolled that combination just to try something I wouldn't otherwise do)PS: By that I mean I literally rolled a random race and random class and stuck with the result
>>96834421>Henderson scaleReddit tourist alert!
>>96834948And a ripoff of animaniacs
>>96845233>Angry Marines were peak.0/10
>>96845638>What are your ideas on fixing 4chan?Genocide everyone importing infinity bomalians to the west, then genocide all the bomalians. Oh, and nuke India. Just to be safe.
>>96871028We have to nuke india, it's the only way.
>>96834647The future turned out to be miserable and depressing.
>>96871112If your plan to fix any problem big or small doesn't begin with "Nuke India" and end with "Nuke India again, just to be safe" then I know you're not actually serious and just a performative grifter.
>>96871182I disagree with the nukes only because then I not only have to breathe radioactive fallout, but even worse, powdered Indian.
>>96871001>>96871016Cope, seethe, and fuck off.
>>96870972>>owl rogue had to Better Call Saul him out of there>Your Honor, fuck you, he's a dragon.>*flies out of courtroom*>not guiltyLike this?
>>96871220May I introduce you to repetitive carpet nuking?
>>96869807>>96863177I'll be back in a few just finished a 12 hour shift I'll try to at least get this third part finished tommorow.
>>96863177Surprisingly, cutting open Lovegood's neck didn't even illicit a negative response, except from the ginger, but that was swiftly quelled when Lovegood himself quieted the boy, and apologized sincerely. By doing that, we might have saved his life given that some Death Eaters had shown up a few weeks ago, kidnapped his daughter and some of her friends in hiding, and told him to lead any Order members to that specific Inn, the Devil's Rest. He told us that the Malfoy family had apparently gotten desperate after the fall of the ministry, especially since most of the enemies we'd attacked had actually been enemies of his at one point or another. Potter evading capture for so long, our rampage in London and the countryside, and the various other issues that Voldemort had come up with to sneer at him with had put his house in a very precarious position, and the only thing keeping him from dangling from his neck was the fact that his son had supposedly killed Dumbledore. As such, Malfoy had decided that the best way to trap Potter was to as follows:1. Make Lovegood an unwitting pawn.2. Get Potter and his bodyguards (Whoever) to teleport in.3. Kill the bodyguards and capture harry potter.4. Bring the students as prisoners to the Dark Lord so he could show the world who was boss5.?????6. Somehow be rewarded.He asked us if, as clearly intelligent and worthy soldiers of the order, could assist Harry in rescuing his daughter from Malfoy. We collectively took stock of the Dirty drill Sergeant, a ball of flesh Masquerading as an explosives expert, the medic from tf2, a wizard who's wrist broke when he waved his wand, and a not!Ogryn, and knew he was taking the piss. Regardless, we took the job, only because Potter half begged us to go. So we lugged our bags, bid farewell to Lovegood, then had the Brunette teleport us to the nearest Order hideout to Wiltshire. It was still about a half days march, but it beat walking.
>>96875709As we reached Witshire, we stayed at a local muggle inn (We bribed the fuck out of the hotel staff to keep most of our gear and had the wizards mind wipe anyone who didn't take it.) and took stock. We had more than enough explosives, but given that we were in the middle of a bodyguard detail, we'd left most of our C4 with the order and only had some grenades, but we had more than enough ammo for an assault if needed. Not that we wanted to, but we could if needed. As we prepared our arms, Potter and the obvious flirt duo made their way to town for some reconnaissance and a meetup with Lupin to discuss what Lovegood had told us. After about an hour, they teleported to the middle of the room with him in tow, but a bit more frazzled than normal. We watched as Damian got shaken up and down as Lupin demanded to know if what Lovegood said had been true, that we had a serious problem. He told Lupin yes, the crazy wizard had told them we were doomed because of some weird ritual, yes we were planning on assaulting Malfoy's mansion, yes we were willing to help, and to please stop shaking him he was wiring C4 and other explosives. After a rather tense moment where we heard a beep and had to do an on the spot bomb defusal, Lupin took stock, and called us all idiots, although we were sure he wanted to use other words. Our obvious weaponry, bribery and walking around town had attracted attention from local police forces, normal wizards, and he'd had to even silence a Death Eater on his way here. He told us we were lucky but we needed to move quickly before we lost a chance for a rescue, and we needed a more creative plan than strapping all of our C4 to a truck and driving it through the front gate. When we asked if the sneaky option was better, he told us it was also impossible. See, after he'd found the Potter Pals. they're gotten a quick look at the mansion and had been caught off guard. The mansion had been turned into a fortress.
>>96875896See we'd dealt with some fortified wizard holdouts before, but apparently Malfoy had learned from his enemies in court, and had turned his mansion into a second tower of London. The walls had apparently been reinforced with magic, the doors were only openable by trusted guards, and all the guards had magical and non-magical communication. Not only that, but he'd apparently had some psycho witch shower the place with magic, and after he'd been accused of hiring us to kill his enemies, she'd taken up near permanent residence. As such, they'd confirmed the hostages were there, but they'd only had time to do basic fact checking, not even a floor plan or enemy numbers. We complained for a second about the lack of intel, but were then informed that the reason lupin wanted to move quickly was because Bellatrix, said psycho witch, was out of town and we had a chance to strike while their greatest asset was gone. Unfortunately, our obvious plans had been countered, and the plan of call for backup until we had enough C4 to level the place was vetoed. That was before Pyotor told everyone to shut up for a second cause he'd had an epiphany.
>>96834421Played a homebrewed wild mage wizard named Balthasar in D&D5e (GM's blessing and collaboration) with D10000 table for wild surge effects. Starting off at level 1, I fully expected a short but bewildering career for the bastard (not helped by him feeling really guilty about the mayhem he causes and endless thirst for knowledge), but through lucky bullshit, the character actually survived long enough for us to reach levels with access to resurrecton magic, cheating death twice getting there.He pretty much became the main character of the story unintentionally, and his random magical bullshit actually managed to derail our entire campaign, fucking up the main plot enough to fundamentally alter the world's future in ways that spawned a follow-up campaign 20 years later with new characters to (maybe) clean up the mess he caused.Some highlights of his career, including but not limited to> Dying 13 times during the campaign, angering the God of Death enough to receive a curse - which was later lifted by more bullshit> Accidentally summoning a Great Old One to the Prime Material Plane (not a direct effect from the table, but an unfortunately contrived chain of events) - almost ended the campaign there and then, but kudos to the GM for just rolling with it> Accidentally materializing a gigantic schlong of Asmodeus, which eventually gained sentience and even later was turned into a hybrid golem> Accidentally creating a clone of a major deity (another contrived chain of events)> Getting the entire adventuring party exiled from the Prime Material Plane at the end of the campaign after banishing the Great Old One successfully, along with the god clone - they were done with his BS for good> The GM actually made him into a perpetual force of magic in the setting, and we had to fight his future self (senile and no rights or wrongs) while in the Far RealmsWilling to elaborate on this train wreck of a character/campaign if anyone is interested in hearing more shit
>>96875958See the thing we hadn't considered is that the doors would only let in people who were wanted. Pyotor asked if the guards had seemed particularly intelligent, and was delighted to hear that they were a bunch of mind controlled muggles and random Death Eaters. He said that if they were that dumb, the plan was pretty obvious. Malfoy, or more accurately Bellatrix, was looking for Harry Potter, and wanted us dead. We had three potentially hostages here, and with good enough disguises we could pretend we were dead. All we had to do was pretend we'd captured THE Harry Potter, and they'd let us in and inform their master. Before they showed up, we could could rescue the hostages, plant explosives on the fireplace and also the normal entry ways, and do enough damage to keep them off us for long enough that we could get everyone to a safe place without causing any issues. We got protests from the Potter trio and Lupin, but neither group could offer a better plan other than "Try and teleport in and pray we don't run into the wrong people." The issue then became finding some Snatcher Disguises, but that was actually pretty easy as Damian informed us we had visitors at the door based on the footfalls outside.Within a few seconds, five Snatchers raced into the room preparing to curse everyone inside, ropes and wands in hand, only to be greeted by a line of handguns and muskets, and for powerful wizards ready with disarming spells. Sharp grinned as he welcomed the bounty hunters, and told them they had the option to strip, or get a bullet to the face. They chose the latter, and were swiftly disarmed, disrobed, hogtied and gagged while we threw the rags they were wearing over our combat clothes and tried to make the bindings on potter and his friends look believable but easily escapable. Lupin offered to stay and memory wipe them as we made our way over, and promised to get help and teleport in if we ran into trouble.
>>96876195As we neared Malfoy mansion with our trio of "bound and gagged" wizards, we realized very swiftly that our plans had been a bit too slapdash but we'd also overthought our entry plan. See, the issue wasn't getting in, we'd even forgotten about disguising our weapons other than stuffing our packs, but tricking the guards wasn't the issue, it was tricking the two clearly armored Death Eaters with helmets and halberds eyeing us from a distance as we approached. There was a little bit of panic as we thought we were screwed, that our plan had somehow been discovered on our way over, there was no way we as a group were going to trick two powerful wizards without raising a few alarms. We began discussing going with Plan B, but Hermione muffled through the cloth on her face that if we could give her a wand, she could mind wipe them to keep them quiet for a bit. This was veto'd as they were clearly watching us and they'd see us hand a wand, not to mention we'd have to partially untie her. That left us with the option of our perpetually unlucky player, namely the person who'd lost the most PC's and also was our only free wizard, Gambian. He balked, saying he wasn't confident in his memory charms, and he wasn't sure he'd make it too obvious they'd been mind wiped, but we did our best to assure them that as long as they could still stand, we'd count that as a win and could do what we needed. He steeled himself as best he could, and walked ahead of our group, wand in hand, as we strode forward into the jaws of RNG and Death. The first death eater looked at us, puzzled, as the wand flashed blue behind Gabian. We felt an odd foreboding as the other Death Eater turned to look at the mindwiped idiot, then turned with a incredulous look as the second spell went off. Then... his eyes went glassy as he also stood at attention, then opened the gate. We congratulated ourselves as we neared the front door, then were asked for our papers. Shit.
>>96876287See we hadn't actually expected to be stopped after we reached the door, and while we tried to make it clear we had Harry Bloody Potter, even showing him in front of the others as the wizards tried to make it look convincing that they were unwilling captives, but the demand for papers continued. That's when we saw the other bloke walk forward, then also ask for papers. At that point we realized we were talking to mindwiped zombies, which prompted Sharp to say bollocks to this shit, motion to Patrick, and they stabbed them both in the throat while we were out of sight. The bodies were grabbed and promptly stuffed in a closet inside as Pyotr and Gambian kept watch, letting Damian start setting up an explosive in the door frame for an emergency exit. Clearly thinking the magic was enough security for us, we avoided any obvious traps and started looking for someone to tell us where to stash our hostages so we could get our pay. The fact that it took us about 15 minutes worried us, as with each minute we got closer and closer to someone discovering that we were definitely NOT snatchers. Sure we ran into a lot of muggle guards, but they kept either bumping into walls, were hung from rafters as gruesome displays, or were just standing stock still groaning and mumbling about unseen horrors, so yeah we were more than a little unnerved when the first masked Death Eater we saw told us to go to the central dining room. We made our way there, while Damian made a fuss about needing a bathroom, and proceeded to sneak off to start Plan A, planting explosives.
>>96876360As we entered the dining hall, our plan actually started working out. We were told by the death eaters in charge that the head lady was out, and we were to await her in the hall to receive our "Just Rewards". They even praised us as Potter catchers, a fine job for such powerful magi and clever Dark mages in waiting. They even told us Bellatrix herself may have us as her apprentices. We said we'd consider it, and asked where we could sit. They told us first to assist the lady of the house, one Ms. Malfoy, to bring the prisoners to the basement for torture, as apparently they'd stolen a number of horcruxes from the vaults of Gringotts and she wanted to "Question them personally. Especially the woman" Licking his lips. We made a note to stab him in the balls later, as we made our excuses and prepared to bring them downstairs. First, Ms. Malfoy approached us, and leaned down, and asked Sharp to assist her in tightening some bonds that had gotten loose. We shit ourselves a little as sharp went to try and convince everyone it was an honest mistake, when she surprised us. As he leaned down, Sharp heard her start whispering to Harry and him. "Miss Lovegood and Ollivander are downstairs, i wasn't able to keep them unbound, but your knives should be able to cut these. There are 3 Death Eaters in the basement, take them out quietly, and Petigrew is down there waiting to torture Potter. You'll need to move quickly, Bellatrix's hound is close." Sharp whispered why was she helping us, to which she said "You and your groups antics, and Potter stealing almost all of his precious artifacts are the only reason my son and husband are alive. My husband because he finds sick pleasure in watching a disgraced follower try to desperately win back his favor, and my son because he fears potter more than anything else. Escape, and teach him that the Malfoys are not his toys." Sharp nodded, then she got up and said she had been mistaken. We rushed downwards.
>>96876454When we entered the basement, we made our way towards the center where we could see two hogtied figures and the three Death eaters followed by the most rattish man we'd ever met. Seriously, it was like he had a snout, we half expected him to say "Yes-Yes." Obviously this was Pettigrew, as he stepped forward and began thanking us for bringing him his most hated nemesis, and asked us what we wanted in return. Pyotr told him a pillow, a nice bed, and a hot meal would be nice, along with a whole bunch of money. The rest of us began taking the prisoners to the center, followed by a Death Eater each, they didn't even try to hide the fact they were planning to kill us before we could claim our bounty, with Pettigrew agreeing to every demand Pyotor made, including being made death eaters proper, and 200k English pounds. We watched them try to keep their wands hidden as we pretended to begin hogtying the trio we brought with us. We looked at pyotor as finally said something that bought us the second we were looking for in the most crass way possible."So hey, does the arm come with an auto fellate or do your three boy band brothers help with your needs." Apparently calling someone a homosexual in the midst of a bunch of wizard Supremists draws a few looks, very angry looks, as the three wizards near us were too incredulous to even think straight as they immediately drew wands and pointed them at our doctor. They then noticed the sabers through their spines and knives at their throats, and dropped like rocks. Pettigrew just looked shocked for a moment before our good doctor put a Bonesaw to his throat, and kindly asked him to not move as the rest of us began untying everyone. The two prisoners ocellated between thanking us, questioning how we'd got in, and wondering why the hell we were dressed so strange. Our answers were cut short when Lupin teleported into the room, asking what the hell was taking so long. Which was when things went to shit.
>>96876669I don't know how to spell Pyotor, I will continue to mispell it.Our first mistake had been assuming nobody would find the two mindwiped guards and the dead bodies we left behind, honestly we really should have done something regarding that. We heard commotion upstairs just as Lupin was preparing to interrogate Pettigrew, so we decided to check it out ourselves. We debated grabbing the death eater uniforms and trying to sneak out while everyone else teleported, but Lupin noted that something was blocking our teleport option after he'd warped in. So we could warp in, but not out, great. Our other option was go loud. Good in theory, but probably not in practice given we had two emaciated wizards, a hostage, three wizards who were still a little peeved at us for being bound and gagged for an hour, and an active order member who were sure to draw fire. Instead, we stayed disguised and decided to simply peek out at what was going on. Patrick led the way as we hoped things weren't too bad. The second mistake we made was assuming that because we'd brought in Harry Potter, we wouldn't be questioned and the people we met could vouch for us. We were so fucking wrong.At the top of the steps, we were greeted by a Wolflike man covered in blood choking out the Death Eater who'd been so welcoming to us, and surrounded by the blood of what was probably those muggles we'd seen earlier. We did our best to seem small and insignificant, avoiding the gaze of the honor guard behind him all holding sabers and wands. He sneered at the gurgling man, asking him who'd mindwiped his precious men outside, why he was apparently celebrating, and where were the men who brought the children, he wanted to see them so badly. We did our best to seem small, but only Pyotr and Gambian managed to make it back to the stairwell before he noticed us. They ran off to warn Lupin, while we endured questioning by a Werewolf. Fun.(I'll finish tomorrow after work happy Halloween.)
>>96875005I don't remember the details but he managed to reduce the sentence from prison time to a 50G fine which was a big win for us.
>>96876815Thanks for the story anon. Happy Halloween.
>>96876815Good job homey
>>96852713Oh please. The useless elfthread spam and its muh eNgAgEmEnT-kin did more to drive board culture than any content-farming.
>>96870972Win
>>96876044Elaborate, please.
>>96876815Right back to itThe questions started simple, where did you come from, who are you, how'd you catch potter, the like. Thankfully, our more charismatic (Read: Good Liars) were able to mostly dodge, wheel, or just outright ignore the questions that were more damning for us. Meanwhile, Luna had walked up to our more sneaky individuals that had made it to the basement and told them about two more hostages in a cell closer to the bottom of the basement. They ran over, complaining the whole time, and freed the two other hostages we had nearly forgotten about (In fairness they were Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, we didn't remember) but they warned us about another door that led to an oubliette in the basement. They said Non-wizards had been brought there and hadn't come out, and said it had only been constructed recently according to the Death Eaters that'd been guarding them. Apparently they'd only bundled out Luna and Olleander an hour or so ago, so clearly us and our Hostages were next. A decision arose from this. 1. Let the rest of us know about the evil ass murder dungeon.2. Drop whatever explosives we had on it and beat feet3. Ignore it and just fight the werewolf.We went with option 3, simply because we didn't have enough explosives to level the room, kill a werewolf, and escape without causing issues, so we went with plan C we think. Namely, it was a slapdash plan that involved trying to hand signal to Patrick with a plan we had regarding the doors, and us hoping the big guy understood. As the werewolf continued asking pointed questions, we got to the point where he began to monologue to nobody in particular, meaning we had to move quickly. He was clearly stalling or retarded.
>>96882540While he was monologuing, it was clear he wasn't really addressing us as a whole, but addressing Sharp, who he'd correctly assumed was the leader of our motely band.>I'd like to thank you again for being kind enough to bring Potter here, how foolish for him to even consider the Dark Lord his equal when a group of rouges like yourselves could accomplish such a feat."Thank you sir, truly wonderful you see us that way.">However there is one final question i have for you and your lot..."Yeah, what's that?">For claiming to be a crew of rouge wizards who got the drop on Potter and stunned him, tell me, why do you smell so much like Gunpowder?Sharp frowned, realizing he really should have made Patrick shut up regarding who they were and avoided a long yarn, played dumb."Not sure what you mean sir.">Oh please, I'm not these idiots, so drunk on His power that they have no wits.Fenrir stepped forward.>If you are wizards, cast your spells, show me your dark magics, in fact I'll even let you hit me.He tapped his forehead.>Just don't wast-He was cut off as Sharp lived up to his name and just headshot the bastard, and told Patrick to scatter. Patrick heard scatter, nodded sagely, and grabbed sharp and stuffed him under his arm before he could protest. He ran as fast as his tree stumps could into the basement as we heard Fenrir transform in full, slamming the big metal doors behind us, praying to god he was stupid enough to try and bust down the door. He was, and as we got clear of the blast zone, he had about .5 seconds of confusion and rage after busting down the door wondering why the hell anyone would set up an entire belt of grenades on the other end of a reinforced door. Knowing he probably wasn't dead after the blast, we opened fire with our flintlocks, reloading and firing again to keep the bastards down as we told the kids to just run to the nearby window. Then two things happened.
Always love some good stories.
>>96876044I would like to hear the story, please!
>>96882638What two things?
>>96886194My powers still out so I'm using a phone power bank to work on my laptop I'm sorry bros.I'm also painting some Lootas for a narrative so posting will take me a minute.
>>96882638>>96886232>>96886194Ok Back up.The first thing that went to shit was a woman screaming at us about "FILTHY MUGGLES IN MY MASTER'S LOVE NEST." This turned out to be Bellatrix, and we had to half drag Potter and Luna behind cover before they rushed her as spells started getting slung left and right. See we knew that Armor plates and cover could stop a killing curse, but given our squishy wizards didn't have any, we had Patrick start making us a true exit with a sledgehammer while the rest of us went to work on keeping the wizard and werewolf busy. We didn't question why the Sledgehammer was there, a mistake, and we also didn't question why she was home so early, second mistake. Regardless, we started pouring fire and covering each other's reloads, forcing Bellatrix to take cover when an iron ball nearly took out her ear, not helping her current mood. Surprisingly keeping the werewolf down became much easier in a few seconds, but for the wrong reason. See, the second thing that happened was Pettigrew running for the Oubliette. He'd bitten Remus in the confusion and ran off as temper tantrum started. Ron and Hermione watched him go and followed after him, saying they'd make sure he didn't do anything extremely stupid, and Ron apparently had a score to settle. This let Remus start wolfing out, and he rushed the smoke to fight the werewolf and give us time to make an exit. Thankfully, Fenrir had taken a lot of aggravated damage, and our bullets hadn't helped him heal either, meaning that he and Remus were actually matched. While we kept the last 5 Death Eaters from breaching the basement and kept Bellatrix pinned, we actually felt good about this. We were holding our own, we'd thought smartly, and we were going to get out of this without any injuries even. Then we heard a scream of pain in the basement.
>>96834421i would but a lot of mine boil down to>hit evil man bigly>evil man dies>jubilations
>>96887141So we were operating on levels of "Fuck this shit we need to leave already, but hearing screams from a cursed ass basement was hitting the peak of GTFO. We hoped Damian would have enough sense to commence plan G, like we'd planned, but we had doubts on that part given how prone he was to making his own plans. Dean and Seamus went to go peek down the steps, and nearly ran headfirst into Ron and Hermoine, who were both near hysterical, saying we needed to run. Seamus peeked again while Bellatrix apparently took the new distraction in stride. She immediately started shooting fire from her wand, separating the two werewolves and jumping to Fenrir. She waved, and said to have fun with Pettigrew now that he was actually worth a damn, and teleported out without even a goodbye. Now that we weren't under constant threat of an alpha bitch, we finished off two more of the remaining Death Eaters, and had just secured the last one. We were about to start putting plan G into motion when we heard Seamus ask.>Uh, Pettigrew looked like he killed himself down there, and now he's growing extra limbs. Also i think he's absorbing the corpses down there. I really hope you idiots have explosives.>Of course we do why would you even ask that?>No like, do you have ENOUGH explosives.We checked our packs, and decided that, no, we were leaving. Now.We told Patrick to make that exit bigger when Seamus looked back down, started swearing like a soldier on latrine duty, grabbed anyone who was near the door, and made it to us just in time to avoid the MASSIVE shape that was bundling towards us. And.... it was an exemplar. We headshot the last prisoner, and took our chance to run.
>>96889064Small aside, no seriously it was just a fucking Exemplar from Darkest Dungeon. Our DM even fucking used the token cause we were online this time. Sure he described it like a pro, calling it a mountain of flesh, a mockery of human form, the anthesis of hope, all that jazz. No, it was just a fucking Darkest Dungeon boss. Looking at the stats afterwards, our Dm was a total asshole and was clearly trying to force deaths but we did what we could anyway. Granted, he basically just moved it around like a chaos spawn, but we did not want to fight this thing with our squishy wizards in tow, even though Patrick was more than willing to. While the rest of us ran, Patrick ran to intercept any spells or something, but instead got a very grim reminder that squishy flesh is kinda hard to pierce with human strength and a sledge hammer. He then got hit by a limb so hard he literally flew past us, hit a wall, and then proceeded to eat shit on the landing. We picked him up, and just started running, yelling at the other wizards with us to just keep running out the door. We heard the thing behind us smash through another bit of masonry, and we had to make a snap decision. Fight, and probably all die, or abandon Plan G to run like hell and hope the cops and anyone else other than us could handle the ball of metal, flesh, and Dark Magic. A short discussion was held, our wizard friends were told about Plan G, and we were all called insane sociopaths. We were also told that would never work. Thankfully, our plan was saved by a timely intervention by a sudden teleport and a greetings by a small gnome looking thing calling itself Dobby. Apparently, he was able to appraite anywhere regardless of magic blocking teleportation. We were so damn thankful he was here, and clued him in on our plan. He agreed whole heartedly, and we got to work prepping for a fight we 100% weren't ready yet.
>>96889137boy i was not up for writing last night damn.Plan G involved getting all our wizard friends to a safe location, which at this point also included the Malfoys, given that they'd avoided causing a fuss when we'd started planting bombs everywhere and actively helped us with infiltrating. So Pyotor went to go find her, while the other three of us started setting up a chokepoint to keep the less combat oriented of us from getting an appendage to the gob. Patrick was healed the best he could be, Sharp did his best Saltzpyre impression with saber and pistol, and Gambian did his best to hit us with buffs and prepare spells he thought might be useful. Dobby teleported with Luna, Olliander, and the two ruffians first, since we were skeptical on how gungho Seamus was for blowing shit up and getting a sword, and Harry and Ron promised to help best they could, before asking where Damian was. We explained he was almost ready and was an integral part of plan G. In Theory, fighting this thing was possible. We'd fought a werewolf at least once, and while we'd lost 3 hirelings at that time (Injuries meant we had to be rotated out) we were confident we could at the very least stall this thing untill we could get Plan G finished. We cursed ourselves for not bringing short range radios, when Harry asked us if there was a way to contact Damian before shit it the fan. Hermoine offered to go check, but we declined, he'd get things done, no worries. We watched the corners for the thing coming down on us. Hell, we heard it moving like only a mountain of flesh could, gibbering and screaming for aid as it smashed into almost every wall. Then it was upon us, and we did our best. We barely survived.
bumparoonies
>>96890760What was left of Pettigrew flew around the corner right when we were fully ready, as our wizard trio fired off their spells and we fired with our guns. The spells did shit nothing but Patrick's Blunderbuss of actual Silver Silverware fucked the thing up HARD. We suddenly had a distinct goal of reloading the damn thing, which was cut very short when it used every muscle it had in it's legs to leap at us. Now, the more intelligent among you may know that when a ball of flesh and stonework is jumping at you, you fucking DODGE. Patrick didn't and tried to intercept the big guy with a piece of rebar. Now, this did work, and he did pierce it, but then it proceeded to backhand him into another wall, and he fell unconscious. This was bad on a multitude of levels, namely that leaping had put it right next to our very important wizards who we had been charged with rescuing and would lose us the war if they died, and the only thing standing between them and it was a moderately armed ex-soldier and a wizard with more utility than prowess when it came to magic. We looked at each other, and grimly decided that running wasn't an option. We stood our ground and prepared to buy the wizards as much time as they needed to reload Patrick's gun and maybe actually kill this thing. It responded by screeching loud enough to break eardrums, and slamming what we supposed were it's fists directly into us. This went on for a few rounds as we dodged and weaved around the thing, with Sharp dodging and slicing and Gambian did his best to stay out of range and tried to slow the thing as much as possible. However, all good things come to an end, and just as the Trio had found enough Silverware to reload the primitive shotgun, Pettigrew screamed again, we lost footing and got slapped. Gambian got off lucky, and only got away with getting slapped in the stomach into the trio, ending up with a knife in a broken arm, and a bunch of broken ribs. Sharp got it worse.
>>96894007It knew what to do, what to kill. But these insects, these VERMIN. They danced around him, he'd already killed the big one, why bother fighting him. Pettigrew, or what was left of him, knew Potter had to die, it was his right, his desire, everything. It finally screamed in rage and managed to clip the wizard, then turned to the soldier, and with a mighty crack he sent the bastard into a pillar, hearing bone snap against marble. Satisfied, he turned to finish his kills, until a pistol shot rang out. He turned in rage at the soldier, propping himself on the pillar with a pistol in hand. He fired once, dropped the pistol, pulled out another, fired again. Pettigrew took it's time. He was no threat, and he was soon standing over his dying form. He decided to make it suffer. Slamming both of it's mighty arms into what was left of his broken arm. The insect screamed, he laughed to himself, it screamed wonderfully. He raised his hands to do it again.Which prompted Damian to finally fucking show up with a brick of C4, jump on the things back, and slam it on the upper body before jumping off and hitting the detonator.
>>96894263The whole time we'd been fighting the flesh blob, the dark wizards, and the werewolf, Damian had been setting up explosives for when we made our exit. See the original plan was to lure a whole bunch of wizards, maybe even the Dark Lord himself, then blow the whole thing to kingdom come as we teleported out. He'd already been mining the doors, and had even run into Ms. Malfoy, who'd at first just stared at him, but before a misunderstand could occur, told him to place more explosives in a spot on the west wing to destabilize it. He took this as a sign that she was on our side, and moved on. While she got her house's affairs in order, he made it look like he was simply cleaning the house to any passersby, putting on a fake cockney accent to make them think he was another mindless drone. Finally, after a few minutes and hearing a rather impressive explosive downstairs, he figured he'd placed enough to justify prepping the exit route, and sauntered his way downstairs, whistling while holding a mop he'd procured to sell the image. Then the swearing and smashing stone noises began. Now Damian wasn't a coward, but he had lived this long by bugging out when some weird shit happened and he had an exit strategy. He weighed his options, and prepped a grenade and a c4 brick depending on how big the problem was. He turned the corner and got a face full of Gambian being thrown into a wall, Patrick down for the count, and Sharp about to get torn apart by an eldritch horror. Pytor appeared behind him with Ms. Malfoy and asked what the hell was going on, only to get a shrug and a confirmation that shit was absolutely FUCKED. Damian weighed his odds again, said fuck it out loud, and went to do a cool trick he'd seen once. He jumped on the things back, jumped off, and hit the detonator as he flew through the air. The explosion lifted him further, allowing him to flip majestically through the air. He then hit his head on the way down, the idiot.
>>96894429With four people down, a smoldering pile of flesh that smelled like absolute shit, Pytor rolled up his sleeves and began to patch us up as much as standard medicine could help us. While he helped sharp to his feet and Ms Malfoy saw to Gambian and the Potter trio, we took stock and decided that we'd had enough wizard bashing for one day. Sharp's arm was nearly gone and his face was scarred to hell now, Patrick was out like a light and was gonna get a fresh batch of scars on his head and chest, and Gambian was gonna need to walk carefully for a few days with his ribs broken to hell. Damian complained when he didn't get checked by the nice older lady, and was informed this was the mistress of the house he was about to blow up, and that he was fine before being thrown an ice pack and recommendation that he stop being a retard with tricks like that.We started joking on how long Dobby would take, when he suddenly teleported in front of us, and immediately fussed over potter and his friends like a mother hen, demanding to know what had gone wrong. We pointed to the pile of bubbling flesh, and said that. He noted that, and went to teleport everyone out when Ms. Malfoy said she should find a place to hide herself. She wasn't actually part of our group after all, and she needed a good story on what happened when shit hit the perverbial fan. We agreed, and had Dobby take the trio to a safehouse before we followed so we could finish setting something up. Then the flesh pile moved.
>>96834421Go back to 2016, faglord
>>96895634This. /tg/ isn't about feeling good or sharing gaming stories. It's about being mad and fighting the culture war against the liberals who infest this place. So fit in or get >>out
>>96834421>Provide content for my jewtubeNo
>>96895546Surprisingly, dealing with the thing for the time being wasn't an issue. Properly galvanized with the thought of having to fight this cunt again, we immediately did the one thing we could think of besides explosives, start burning the fucking thing, We dropped whatever wooden furniture we could find on it and just lit that shit on fire. It had the desired effect of stopping any reviving but it didn't fucking kill the thing. We needed to move quickly to complete part 4 of Plan G. Thankfully, harry was still around, so we decided to just speedrun Plan G. However, before we started, we got a bit of a humbling experience. Instead of having to go in the center of the house and begin saying the equivalent of wizard slurs, we were told that Dobby actually had a voice amplification spell, that would work for a much larger radius. Also he told us there was a better way.Within a few minutes of setup, every wizard in a fifty mile radius was hearing Harry bleedin potter calling Voldemort a coward, lively livered, a small mouth bitch, and a few other phrases the more colorful of our bunch could make up. We even called him a Liverpool fan by god. We could feel the Death Eaters closing in, drawn in by us using the Dark Lords name, which we'd just found out was cursed to let everyone know where we were and who said it, and also the fact we called wizard Hitler a bitch. We gather around Dobby, and just as they ported in, we laughed. They watched us laugh for half a second and then noticed the explosives we'd left around the whole house. We waved, and then got teleported out as we hit the detonator. We could feel the blind hatred and absolute rage disappear in an instant as we landed, and it felt so fucking good. Get fucked you Death Eater fucks.Now we just had to finish this, which we decided we'd do later, and quickly collapsed in a heap around someone very nice furniture. We could hear someone yelling about blood before we passed out.
>>96834421We put lethal doses of fentanyl into a longevity drug that we thought was being used to keep the BBEG alive. It turns out it was the personal supply of the president, most of the cabinet and half of the top 10 richest men in the country. Needless to say, the campaign is no longer about foiling a deepstate plot to hijack elections.
>>96902574We slept and rested for about a week, in which time we learned that a lot had happened because of us. For one, we'd learned that our Horcrux count had actually dropped down to one remaining, as Potter had apparently not only stolen two more from the Ministry and Gringotts, but also had found a way to finally kill them off. Not only that, but we actually had done something nobody else had been able to do. Royally piss off the Dark Lord. Over the course of the week, we learned he'd killed a bunch of wizards in the ministry, nearly causing an active revolt, and we now had a bunch of wizards who realized they couldn't just wait out the reign of Voldemort on our side. So in all, our little adventure had killed about 60 Death Eaters, half of which were elite versions given our little explosive fun times, killed a member of his inner circle, and gotten a brief look at the weird bullshit our DM had introduced into this timeline. We were a bit spooked by that, but given our injuries, there wasn't much we could do besides start calling in favors and prep work. Patrick was actually able to move around first, Sharp was gonna need extra time to reattach what was left of his arm, Damian needed to avoid a concussion, and Gambian was gonna need bed rest for at least a bit. Thankfully, all the wizards with us meant we didn't need to just gauze it and hope for the best, so our recovery was pretty quick. Then came the bad news.Our little escapade didn't just make Voldemort panic, he'd turned off the curse on his name to prevent people baiting people, had killed key supporters, and had driven away everyone but his most psychopathic followers. He was blindly flailing around at anyone who might be a threat, but we had an issue where now he was accelerating his time table. Not only that, the one place he hadn't yet fortified was the last place on our shopping list, but also was the last place we had to go. Hogwarts itself. We began to draw up plans for the end.
>>96902912Aight last Chapter is gonna take a bit, I'm gonna be posting as much as i can to make sure this thread doesn't die, but I appreciate that people are actually posting stories instead of being miserable like usual. Stay classy for a bit I'll try writing up what I can during my next shift. Next part is gonna be pretty long so IDK if it'll fit in the thread given the posting limit.
>>96895634>>96896945>>96897666>newfags and tourists trying too hard, the postlol
>>96902934Take your time Anon. I for one am having a blast reading these.
>>96902678This sounds epic, go on.
>>96902934No worries, I'll make another one if needed.
>>96902934>the PCs names>the whacky adventures>the writing style>the "mission accomplished" picS-shoggy?
Not really a made of win moment, but eh fuck it it's a story anywayThe group was trying to seize control of a ship (we had to negotiate with the AI in charge or delay it long enough for the specialist to lobotomise it) and it had ended badly with the security officer getting murdered and the rest of us nearly dying to the security systems when we pissed the AI off only for the tech guy to reboot it. At this point we were in control of the ship but there was some feuding between who was actually in charge now that we'd taken it, I was the captain who was gunning for command once the rest of the fleet got here, and the other guy was the Priest-representative (this wasn't 40k, but it's a broadly similar relationship between the navy and mechanicus when they find a space hulk) who didn't want the captain taking over (mostly because he had nearly fucked up the lobotomisation). There was also the newly promoted security officer who just wanted to do his job and did not want to get involved in a political feud outside his jurisdiction. Anyway, we're negotiating calmly in the captain's cabin, the priest is blaming me for nearly fucking up the lobotomy, I'm trying to sandbag my position for command while also trying to get rid of him because he has a point about my incompetence, and all the while the main fleet is getting closer and expects things to be ready for them to take formal control. The argument gradually escalates, and we're both trying to get the security officer onside because we both recognise that he'll give us more legitimacy if we want to arrest the other, until it boils over where the priest draws his gun on me, misses his shot, I knock the gun out of his hand and order his arrest for mutiny, which the security officer complies with. I then start gloating and plan to silence him permanently only for the security officer to arrest me for dereliction of duty, and then the orders come in saying that some random is going to be taking command of the ship.
>>96904494I fucking wish i was shoggy lmao im just a retard with too much time on his hands
>>96909919Same. Most of my stories are boring, they're mostly "you had to be there" moments, like how the first real game I ran started by another player character unexpectedly framing the other player characters for murder, all done by pure happenstance thanks to the rolls of a "relationship matrix" aligning.
>>96902934Aight I'm doing a bit of writing before posting so this is more coherent if y'all have questions ask and I'll answer em
>>96834421You can't turn time back.
Bump for kino>>96914047I will.
>>96902934Part 4 The Battle of HogwartsThe first part of our Prep work for hogwarts began with understanding what we could bring to the fight, and finally just giving up all semblance of any subtly. We ordered every bit of sliver, every musket we could find, every bit of iron and black powder that was on the open market. Hell we just bought ammo from other guns with the expectation that we’d probably just take the gunpowder from that and it’d work. We threw ourselves into a frenzy the second we were given a clean bill of health from dobby and Alfred, who’d somehow managed to find us. Nobody questioned it since we just treated him as a butler and he endured it on the principle that we were more effective than most other teams. Our hirelings were sent out, some died some lived, but by the end of an in game week, we were ready. We also glowed more than the average CIA agent in Russia on the Death Eater radar, but we rolled with that. Because we were gonna do the one thing nobody expected from us. Actively assault Hogwarts.No Seriously, that was our plan. We figured that Hogwarts, despite it’s reputation, had two options. From what we’d heard from the grapevine, it was pretty clear Voldemort was going to use it for a ritual, and had his own Death Eaters posted there. However, with the recent attack on Malfoy manor, security had been moved from Hogwarts to other houses due to their own importance apparently. So we decided that if we just drove in, assaulted the school, and demanded surrender, the remaining death Eaters would try to kill us (We had guns and could win) or surrender and not die to the non-Death Eaters who we were told were happy with us just breaking in. Luna had told us that last part, giving us a refresher on the state of Hogwarts. Namely that the school was at the point of mutiny.
>>96917004According to her time at school before she ran away with Seamus and Dean, A fellow named Neville Longbottom had apparently been in hiding the whole time in the walls, and had basically been running a guerrilla campaign. He’d poisoned death Eaters, been ferrying muggle borns in and out of school, and had even been coordinating with some of the remaining teachers to prepare for an insurrection. However, that had been a month ago before she had to flee due to a warning that she was to be used as a potential ritual sacrifice, which explained the weird shit in the cellar. Actually we had a few questions on that, namely what the fuck was that, and, that is 100% not a normal magic thing. We had a few other complaints, but those were handled out of character by the DM pulling the rule of “The normal harry potter setting sucks ass I’m fixing it somewhat.” And we saw fit to allow it if it meant we could still shoot wizards.The demonic shit was explained in character as a dark ritual that used the blood and soul of wizards and non-wizards to create a new life form, namely by giving the wizard new flesh with which they could straight up ignore most forms of magic and bullets. We were worried about this, but we decided that this was a problem for tomorrow, and also told ourselves we had killed one, we could kill one more. We were more concerned about the dark magic stuff. We asked about raising the dead, thinking it could be used the same way, but were told with a resounding no, that it wasn’t possible without super strong magic. Which is when we heard Weasley give a Maybe. Our heads turned as one before Hermoine could tell him to shut up, where upon she sighed, and mentioned that, along with the deadly hallows, they had apparently found something confirmed that Voldemort had been gathering books on corpse-puppeting. We were quiet for a moment before Gambian broke the silence with a “That’s illegal.” He was told to shut up.
>>96917024Necromancy besides, we were pretty sure with all the info we had, an assault on Hogwarts was probably our best option. The main problem was getting there. We had a few options, but none of them were appealing. Teleporting was right out given the magic defense, and teleporting into the surrounding forest had an equal chance of getting us spotted or a beast coming out of the woodwork to eat us, bad idea. A car could work, but apparently there were some centaurs who hated the things, and also the woods was usually made so a car didn’t work, but Potter said it was possible. We thought up a few different plans, but everything was eventually shot down because it either endangered the school, or it had too many flaws. Sneaking was thought of, but we said no on the grounds of we would be heard without silenced pistols (Hard to get across the border apparently). Patrick floated the idea of a tank but that was turned down on the principle that there was absolutely no way we could ever drive a tank fast enough to avoid detection, and even if we did, we’d be sitting ducks. That didn’t even mention the fact that it was going to be impossible to even procure one, when Dobby finally spoke up. If we knew where one was, he could actually get one and teleport it over, but we’d need to leave quickly due to the magic signature that would leave. That was thought to be impossible since it was a fucking 30 MPH tank we’d be driving, namely the Challenger. The elf said he’d be right back with one, and even had an idea of how to get it moving, and teleported out. Two seconds later, he came back with possibly the worst option we could have thought of. Namely, he brought the 80 ton brick that was the Tog. He said he'd left a note.
>>96917085See normally a house elf doesn’t get out much. They don’t know what a plane or even a good tank looks like, and given the tonage limit we couldn’t go with him. He had told us a tank was possible, and that we’d be able to handle anything with it. We hadn't expected the fucking TOG. An 80 ton tank with a land speed of nothing and no ability to really move anywhere without destroying the ground it rolled over. We were baffled, why the hell had he gotten this thing, we couldn't drive this. We also were concerned that any wizard worth his salt would spot us in an instant. We didn't have fuel, it didn't have fuel, and we weren't gonna get to Hogwarts quick enough. Dobby said we could overcome that last bit. Yes, we didn't have fuel, and yes, we would be spotted with the tank, but we had one thing on our side, an elf that could fly. We asked him if he could fly 80 tons of British steel across 60 Kilometers, and he told us to get in the tank before we had second thoughts. We bitched, we moaned, and we soldiered up and got everything ready. Our ammo, supplies, and wizards were bundled up in the tank with as much as we could fit, and we prepared ourselves for the 2nd worst flight we'd had in our lives. Our compatriots, namely students, all asked if it was safe when we got in, and while we were considering a speech, Gambion decided to try giving a speech. He began with a noble idea of sacrifice, continued into more ideas around doing what needed to be done, and ended with a final thought of keeping a stiff upper lip despite the odds being against us. We gave him a 9/10, Patrick got in the drivers seat and dobby began to cast his spells, including one that prevented damage to the inside of the vehicle. We asked what he meant by that but before he could answer we launched off like a rocket. Fucking elves.
>>96834619Its generational, zoomers carry their uncontrollable cynicism everywhere. To them every text field is a social media comment section.
>>96917407>Dobby is asked to pick literally any tank>picks the fucking Burger King on threadsAn M1 Abrams wasn't an option?
>>96917476writing up the rest, but we had the choice between british tanks. We had originally picked the challenger because we have a fucking teaboo playing a character if the sharpe references weren't enough. However according to our DM, we had to deal with the fact that dobby had never seen a tank besides maybe ww1 given how long elves lived and also the dm thought it was funny. He did roll a d100 to see how old the tank would be and rolled in the 70s, so we thought we were safe with a ww2 tank until we were reminded that Harry Potter took place in the 1980s. We were honestly happy he decided not to be an asshole and give us a mark one or some shit.
>>96917407Neville Longbottom was having a terrible day. He’d just been informed of potential lack of security in the kitchens and had gone to steal supplies for his fellow rebels in Dumbledore’s army. However, instead of finding an army of house elves in the kitchen working on feeding the student body, he'd found 4 death eaters with wands out and green light rushing towards him. He'd barely dodged the killing curses and made it to a nearby room to slam the door shut, only to open the marauder's map to find there was nobody he could call to help. All the other teachers were too far away to help, and the fucking Carrows were now making their way towards him. He started frantically looking for a way out, and saw a hole in the wall he could hide in for a few minutes while they searched fruitlessly. He thanked every day Harry had been smart enough to leave the map at school, knowing nobody else could access it. He watched the map as the Carrows came to the room, then began to break down the door. He held his breath as the Death eaters broke down the door and started waving their wands around like a bunch of idiots. Seriously what was the point of having Death Eaters if a bunch of students could out preform them. He watched as the Carrows looked frustrated as they scoured the room. He grinned and nearly chuckled, stopped himself, but made a noise. The Carrows got close, dangerously close, and then looked at his hole, smiled, and gathered everyone in one spot. As he prepared for them to start blasting him, grabbing whatever bricks he could to help with his own defensive charms, he hoped nobody else got caught with him and could continue the fight. Then, just as the wands were raised, a Death Eater screamed out a warning. Too little too late, 80 tons of british engineering rocketed into them and turned five death eaters and two of Voldemort's confidants into red mist. TOG 5, Death Eaters 0.
>>96918104>PRECISION BRITISH ENGINEERING>a single story of a commieblock on threadsA KV-2 or a Tiger would work just fine.
and then I somehow recall threads about anal spelunking shifting towards tree ejaculate, followed by someone asking how many spiders a drow can birth at once, dunno if they were in that specific order but it's how things were......that and also making a computer out of skeletons, and also that weird TF2/Elfen Lied fic that got some people teary eyed.now I also wonder...CATastrophe, maybe a new version based off of Ryuutama?
>>96834421I commend your brave efforts, anon. We could use a little less bitterness and a little more carefree spontaneity.
>>96841608That's a pretty basic story of random chance making a decisive moment memorable.But I've had plenty of those, and I know how good they feel when it actually happens. I can hear those players of yours losing their minds over those good rolls.
>>96917407The absolute gigachad energy of using a TOG for any reason cannot be overstated. A thousand Death Eaters T-posing cannot match the TOG for social, cultural, political, economical and military dominance of the mental variety.
>>96834421You're not young anymore. The world you grew up in no longer exists.
>>96918104>>96918419>>96920532Updates gonna need a minute my PC won't start so I'm troubleshooting the ram which is probably the issue.
I did a Mechwarrior campaign with some buddies a few years back. We got into all kinds of wacky stuff over the course of it through carefully balancing our utter insanity and professionalism as mercenaries. Our literal first conversation, after listening to a noble describe a job to us, was "man, that guy has a stupid hat."Here's how it went when we were hired to rescue a noble's niece from his brother:>Be C, with L and G.>Talking about how we're going to do this.>G says "I have a plan" and then leaves.>C and L have no idea what this plan is.>L goes on to start harassing the noble with his Catapult>Does so with missiles.>C sends a message to the noble threatening him to a fight>Not "challenging him," threatening him to it.>Meanwhile, G has gotten inside of the noble's estate by posing as a turncoat>Rolls his way into getting access to the security room>Missile harassment continues>No suspicion on G because of roll reasons>We laugh the attach, C with his Wolverine, L with his Catapult.>G curbs all security alert attempts, so we get full free reign for a while.>Bring down the mech silo>Leaves only a few that were supposed to ambush us>Robot rumble ensues.>Meanwhile, G finds the niece, begins to rescue her.>Runs into the noble's brother on his way out.>Proceeds to execute him while failing a roll to get the niece to look away and cover her ears.>I'veseeneverything.jpg>Noble shows up, pays us extra for taking the duke's head.>Nothing was planned or talked out OOC>All of our characters remain iliterate.>We go for ham omelets to celebrate.
>>96933172Never played Mechwarrior. What's it like?
>>96834619How can we have fun again?
>>96927874I’m banned for some reason so im using my phone for a bit.>>96918104As you might have read, it was only 5 that died on impact. Turns out we'd missed the Carrows, or at the very least grazed them, as it turns out, after about 2 minutes of disembarking, we noticed the two of them nearly bleeding out on the ground. Originally, we were planning on just knifing them and being done with it, but Luna distracted us as we got everyone out by yelling out Neville's name, and jumped the surprised student while the rest of our passengers began to swarm him, swearing that they'd heard he'd been killed. Then Hermione started going green, which prompted Luna to take her to the corner, they'd catch us up later. The Carrows were grabbed and tied up, and we started taking stock of our situation.True to his word, Dobby's spell had actually protected us quite well on the inside. Unfortunately, that spell had only included the interior, meaning the outside of the tank had taken the majority of the abuse. We were fine, if a little shaken up, Dean and Ron had only thrown up once in the tank itself, which was quickly disposed of by the girls refusing to get it on them, and all our ammo was fine, while we helped everyone out and the ladies finally lost what was left of lunch in the corner. The main issue was that now we had an 80 ton ballistic missile in front of the door, and said missile was not flying again. The outside was actually mostly fine, but the turret was wrecked, and the treads had been totaled by the mad bounce we'd had when we hit the floor. We weren't even sure how Dobby expected this to help us, but then we realized that his hero worship of Potter had gone too far. He was clearly of a mind that Potter could fix this with magic, and when we asked the boy wonder, he gave us a quizzical look and asked what the fuck we were talking about. He couldn't fix this. God damn elves.
>>96944796We realized pretty quickly we didn’t have time to run around interrogating. We had just made a FUCK ton of noise so we needed to move quickly and quietly to avoid suspicion. Nevil on the other hand, after being swarmed, told us we didn’t actually need to. The Carrow twins had a hobby of silencing rooms to use their curses on the occupants, and given what he’d been through and how Hogwarts was still under a rather brutal dictatorship, they’d basically been given run of the place. We took his advice and made a quick adhoc circle with the rest of our teammates, and began to ask him what happened before his student friends interrupted us to ask how he was still alive, how he’d managed to avoid the Carrows for some long, and how he’d managed to start Dumbledore’s army again? He said we’d learn in time, but he was much more interested in telling us what happened today, and what our plans were.Neville told us the tale of having to dodge the Carrow twins when he’d attempted to liberate some supplies, how he’d acquired the marauder’s map, and how it had helped him kickstart a new revolt inside the walls. Snape apparently had been absent for a week, and the Carrow twins were one of the highest ranking Death Eaters around. We pointed out we had them trussed like turkey’s, and he thanked us for that, saying he wanted to ask them how to change the barrier to prevent appriation. We asked what he meant. He said the barrier around Hogwarts only let in who was considered “A friend to Hogwarts.” Said friends were now only death eaters, and if an alarm was raised, we’d have people teleporting in to prevent us from moving too far and we’d probably be killed, but that was what our plan had been right? We’d flown in like that because we’d had no other choice. This galvanized us nicely, and we rushed over to our prisoners to immediately interrogate them. It went about as well as one can expect.
>>96944818>HOW DO YOU TURN OFF THE ALARM>Who the fuck are you.>LESS TALK MORE TURN OFF ALARM>We’re not telling you shit.>PLEASE I DON’T WANNA DIE I HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN LAID YET>Well that can be changed quite quickly…Sharp put a stop to Damian's retarded questioning by pointing his gun at the Carrow brother’s testies, and asking quite politely if he was ready to die twice for the dark lord, or if there was a method of convincing we could try. He was told that he’d be dead within the hour if he shot, to which Sharp mentioned that an hour was a long time. He might want to think that over. Carrow gulped, looked at his sister, then decided that his balls were more important. He promised that if we let them go, he’d take us to the controls for the barrier. We didn’t believe him for a second, but since the barrier was down now, we kinda didn’t have a choice. Either stay here and have someone eventually question why there was a smoking tank in the Defense against the Dark Arts room, or try to sneak through the halls to the Headmaster’s office. We chose option twoOur trip up to the office wasn’t even that bad all things considered, which should have been a clue to us something was up. We barely saw anyone, and Neville’s map had come in handy when it came to dodging the one or two Death Eaters roaming the halls. In theory, it was currently past curfew so everyone was locked in the dorm rooms and the teachers kept in their living quarters, but of course our twins were allowed anywhere, granted with no wands and three seasoned snipers watching them. Of course the twins didn’t know that of the said snipers, only one had a chance for a good shot. Sharp and Neville helped us avoid anyone, with Patrick acting as our last resort distraction to anyone looking too closely. Thankfully we only had to use him once, and it was embarrassing for all parties. Somehow we avoided detection after that and got to the spiral staircase.
Bump, keep 'em coming Hooligan.
>>96941710I can tell you exactly how, but you aren't going to like the answer:Delete /tg/Unironically.4chan needs to reset completely. Delete EVERY board except /a/, /b/, a porn board of choice, and /vip/ to maintain pass farming. We already proved that worked during april This Year.Rapeape will never do it though.
>>96949681Just finished a 40k crusade I promise to post more tommorow Custodes relics are bullshit
>>96950224>delete /tg/Good idea, we only need /b/ and /vip/.
I dealt 122 damage with a single javelin as a lv8 paladin in 5e the other day against a fire giant by stacking divine smite and thunderous smite at 3rd level and rolling a nat 20DM told me after the fact it had exactly 1 hp left
>>96945291See the main thing about things going perfectly, especially for our paranoid asses, was that we do not do perfect. Our entire careers at this point had been juggling the various bullshit freebies and the universe deciding to fuck us over. Being paranoid cretins that we were, nobody voiced this our of superstition, as we climbed the spiral staircase to find whatever dodad we needed to stop apparitions. However, when we made our way up the staircase we were greeted by a treasure trove of magical artefacts, a bunch of random scrolls, and a bunch of pictures on the wall that were asleep or pouting when they saw the Carrows round the corner. The pictures on the wall seemed puzzled, some seemed to smile, and yet more started laughing at the two captives. It felt good to have an audience, Sharp and Gambian made a show of bowing as they led the Carrows into the room and began to secure them so we could search in peace. It wasn't that hard, because standing in the far back of the office was a massive safe, and Gambian mentioned magic was clearly coming out of it.We tried a few different options, the wizards casted spells to unlock it, we tried a few words of power, and then we used our 3 remaining braincells to use our own magic words. When that didn't work, we debated using explosives, but that would ruin our cover and while we liked the idea of having a killzone as the staircase, we were told there were multiple ways in and we'd probably need a few minutes to reverse any polarity there. We were stumped at this point, seeing as we didn't have a big ass drill, and brute forcing the combination would take a minute. It was while looking for clues, that we found something Snape had apparently added to the decor. A Single picture of a woman, a person who was clearly her husband, and a small child moving and waving on the desk. Harry looked over, then swore and pointed his wand at the Carrows, demanding to know how he'd had gotten, picture of his family.
>>96834473>he thinks it's fake because he can't pull it offTons of anons have done derails before.
>>96959884Surprisingly, the Carrows seemed as confused as we were. Why did Snape, loyal soldier of the Dark Lord, greatest Dark Wizard of the Death Eaters, and Headmaster of the new Darkwarts (We came up with that last one) have a picture of a filthy muggle born on his desk. That comment earned a slap and a green glow on Harry's wand. While we weren't above killing the bastards, we still needed them as leverage should something go fucky, so we told him to calm down and asked who was in the picture. He told us it was his mother and father, and himself, as the only picture he'd ever had of them before they died to Voldemort. The rest of the students began to speculate, with the most obvious answer that it had been Dumbledore's and Snape had simply kept it out of a weird respect towards a great enemy, but we thought differently. Pyotor asked when Harry's and his parent's birthdays were. Harry relented, and we went to try the codes. We tried, but each just gave us the silence of a incorrect code. We thought on it, looking for more clues, when Gambian asked if anyone had checked the back of the photo.Sheepishly, we took the photo out of frame, and found a date. September 4th, 1969, with a small note apparently saying "Don't Forget". We entered the code, and finally got a click. The Carrows were dumbfounded as the safe swung open, revealing to us... nothing. No gold, no magic items, just a whole bunch of paper and no magic button or lever to pull. We started swearing and even threw shit around looking for something, anything to get us out of this shit. Then we heard a voice behind us. >Oh there you are, I was worried you were taking to long to get up here.We whirled as the students looked confused at our erstwhile ally Alfred Pennyworth appeared out of the spiral staircase. In his hands, he had a wand the glowed a sickly green, and he fired it at the two siblings tied up on the ground. Son of a bitch.
>>96960003Alfred then leveled the wand at us, as 5 more Death Eaters swarmed out of the Staircase, warning us that if we didn't lower our weapons, he'd shoot and kill one of the students. We were so confused. Alfred had been the one who'd actually suggested the sneakier options to get into Hogwarts, and had been helping us for the past 8 months. We lowered our weapons and started asking what the hell he was doing here. He explained that it should be pretty obvious, even to our inferior primate brains. He'd been pulling the strings the whole time, and we'd expected nothing. The targets, the distractions, the obvious attacks on certain elements on the Dark Lords' army. He said we were excellent tools, especially since as of a month ago, he'd told the Dark Lord exactly what our plans had been. Ever since the attack on the mansion, he'd finally made contact, and had promised his soul for the immortality he had promised. He'd made Snape leave by telling him about the Dark Lord's requests, fooled all the expendable idiot Death eaters, now with his loyal new followers Voldemort would turn HIM into a horcrux, giving him more power than we'd ever dreamed of. We had so many questions, but unfortunately Damian got the one question. >Wait, so you ain't Batman's Butler.This caused him to explode at us, and go on a fucking tirade. We'd apparently found his breaking point, as he went on for about 10 minutes about how humiliating it had been to be a butler to us. Meanwhile we looked for a way out, when one of the pictures pointed at the ceiling. Namely a chandelier. Pyotor slowly inched behind Patrick as he then took aim at the chain holding it as the rant continued.
>>96960074Seriously, he was going on so long some of his new allies had even looked at him funny. He kept saying how we were so retarded we'd managed to even kill some of his own allies. We'd used so many explosives we'd caused valuable artifacts to be lost by blowing them the fuck up. We'd killed valuable allies, we'd destroyed so many new summer homes he'd wanted, and we'd even lost GOOD POTENTIAL CONVERTS WITH OUR STUPID FUCKING IDEAS. We looked retarded, we dressed retarded, and he couldn't believe how lucky we'd been. However, he'd say it was all worth it. He said this scheme had been the one way for his true family name, the name Kemmler, to be brought back into prominence. He actually ended up getting some heckling by our wizard friends, with Ron asking why he'd even done all this if we'd basically removed any good will the Dark lord might have. He had smiled at this, and said that we'd caused such a stir that our deaths would bring him such joy he'd make him his personal second in command. At this point we'd had about enough and were ready to just shoot the bastard and be done with it, when Harry asked him what he meant when he said he was a horcrux. He laughed, saying that the Dark Lord had personally told him the locations of the other two Horcruxes, and had given him his blood to become a wizard that was stronger and more powerful than ever. We heard blood and got spooked, immediately planning for plans B through F if shit was about to get as bad as we thought. Fighting another flesh thing was gonna be rough in such a space, so we waited until he'd reached a fever pitch, then Pyotor said a good one-liner, and shot the Chain. He fucking missed. Everyone was confused for a second, then Patrick sighed, and threw a flashbang he'd kept for the inevitable fuck up. We appreciated that sometimes he was smarter than we were.
>>96960248Those wondering why we'd suddenly gotten a tech upgrade, we had ordered a bunch of flash grenades and normal grenades with the ongoing theory that we'd be dealing with large groups of people or no longer needed to be subtle when going through buildings. This turned out to be a good thing as we dove for cover and watched spells whizz around the room as the Death Eaters had been more concerned about avoiding a chandelier than actually hitting us while blind. Interestingly enough, we didn't even get to do shit to Alfred for him to be taken care of. His own spell got deflected, and for once our wizard buddies actually pulled their weight. They managed to stun him, and then one other Death Eater collapsed when Dean did something that made him start spasming. The rest of the Death Eaters had thrown up defense charms and started throwing random curses at us, but at that point, we'd taken up positions and prepared for a siege. Death Eaters began to poor in from the stairwell, and we prepared for blood as our melee specialists ran to keep our charges safe.We only survived thanks to a teacher finally making it to us but it was damn close.
>>96965098We held firing positions in the top floor and covered our wizards, yelling at them to get up to the balcony where we could rain fire down and let our more physically able members handle any wizards that got near. Sharp, Patrick and Pyotor stayed by the lower levels after we took care of Alfred's goons, and we killed the first of the Death Eaters that were attacking us with a clean headshot. Then it went to shit as they started getting more ground and were able to use pillars and desks for cover. We threw what grenades we could, keeping some of them stunned and some of them pinned while our wizards started trying to protect us from the more dangerous curses. It was a near thing, with Gambian getting hit with Curcio through his defenses twice while Damian got his hair singed by a killing curse that whizzed by his head. Our charms were running low and so was our ammo, and Patrick nearly lost his life when a killing curse impacted his armor and threw him back with the explosion. We were like rats in a trap, and the Death Eaters knew it.Meanwhile, Neville had been looking at the map this whole time, searching for answers on how to get the fuck out of here. Suddenly, his expression changed, and he gave us a shocked look and told us we were being rescued. However, just as we began to ask what the hell he meant, the flood stopped, and we heard yells downstairs. We waited for a moment while we took stock, and reloaded. Eventually, we heard a stern and somewhat shaky voice command us to let them in, they'd just chased off the last of the Death Eaters. Harry said he recognized the voice, and that it was his teacher McGonagall. We breathed a sigh of relief as the much older woman hobbled in. She looked around.>Couldn't you have defended yourself with LESS explosives, this is a very important room and we would like to keep it intact.We gave her the Anti-vahlen salute and talked shop.
>>96834619Thank god that stopped. Fun is dreadful.
>>96845233Could you throat a shotgun?
>>96945291what the fuck is thiswhat is this harry potter murder spreeis this a target alice thing?
>>96856745Why do you care so much about convincing this guy? If it doesn't matter and you're not looking to steal content, then you have no real to keep replying to him.
>>96920257FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NIGGER
>>96959983Lol, you made up a reason because you actually have no idea why the story is obviously fake. You're that credulous.
>>96834421waaaay back in the dayi got a character through a pan-necropolisjust a dimension of mostly undeathseriously the seawater would inflict you with level drain it was uglyit was also a game of douche teenagersthe kind where the cleric would just refuse to heal you because hormones told him it was time for being a cuntthe only time level adjusted encounters came into play was when we managed to get ourselves to reasonable safety and the dm needed an excuse to keep throwing monsters at us in defiance of all logici survivedthrough guile and cowardice and diplo-mancy by the time i got out we had iced thousands of class leveled ghouls,pugugly abominations, a spider the size of a town (not exageration, oh and it had air support), a couple epic level encounters, and even a book that rammed crusty socks down your throat.but milestone xp so i was lvl 7 nowcontinued
>>96969011but now.... now i sat on a mountain of genestones and nameless magic items i hadnt had the balls to touch which i could pawn.home wasnt the first alternate plane id ended up on either.so what did i dowell i hired a wizardi got some scrolls maybe half a million in ruby dustand i constructed something magnificanta big ol orb that could cast simulacrumonce per daynow its improtant to rememberthe spellcasting was done by a high levle wizard and it used that wizard as the basis for calculations regarding its powerso it could make things of considerably high level (the math from them days is a bit complicated but basically i could make creatures of up to 23 HD but that would have half health now simulacrum is a fickle spelllike any spell that has expensive components when you make an item with it you gotta pay 50x the component cost during creationhence the moutnain of ruby dust but dont have to pay on use.unlike most spells there is more too ityou gotta have a small bit of the creature you wanna duplicate.that means 50 tonail clippings or something from all the peope youdd want to make coppies of.but me.. i took a feat. most dms dont make casters keep track of their component pouches. but theres a feat MEANT to make the pouch no big deal. eschew materials.anything that doesnt have a gold cost thats listed in the ingredients, is a component you can ignore.well i had that useless little feat and contributed it into the making of the item.meaningi could make a replicaof anyone in reality who had 23 hd or less.continued
>>96969077bringing us back to the other planes i had found myself on during the adventures. one of em had a timelesness quality. anything that took longer than a round there jsut didnt change. you didnt age magic effects didnt end, ect.so i skulked my way back there.and i hid out. i made a mean peice of work wizard. and had him wait outside the timeless realm nd return once the item was charged.he came back and i made another wizard... the same wizard.you can guess what i did next.needing no sleep it was just counting coins and studying strange texts till the wizards returned.now what does one do with a steadily, infinitely growing army of wizards.well one raids dungeons of course. every dungeon. if gods werent watching it my simulacrams cleared it of valuables and kidnaped the monsters within.and there i sit to this day. ageless. glorious. in an out of the way podunk demi planecontributing my meager ability to the army of wizards bringing in more loot to turn into simulacrum factories and whatever the hell else i want.
>>96969112the lesson lads
>>96968955Because he's a stupid fucking faggot and I want him to stop shitting up every thread on /tg/ where anyone tries to actually talk about tabletop games because of some irrelevant boogieman. Why wouldn't I tell him to stop being a retard for making this place even worse?Any why the are you dragging this stupid nonsense up again to say, "don't reply" after two weeks of no fucking replies?
>>96969006At this point, the fakeness of OMH has been vastly outweighed by the sheer faggotry of the idiots that make it their life’s mission to “debunk” it. Mainly because their arguments are always based on speculative armchair psychology as tenuous as the story’s credibility, and I find the smug self-assurance that it “can’t have happened” infinitely more annoying and a big factor to why people hate coming here.TL;DR Nobody cares if it’s fake, you’ve done more to keep the memory of this old copy-pasta alive just by the constant whining over it, redditor
>>96969858If anything trying to debunk it is a waste of time because it's so obviously fake that anyone claiming otherwise is playing into the joke or retarded.
>>96969232lol shut up nigger
>>96834647I've been here since around 2006, and my most vivid impressions of what 4chan was like pre-gamergate is that /v/ was a cesspit of hate where nobody could discuss anything, threads were derailed by gore and cp all the time, and everybody really hated furries.Go trawl the archives for some old threads and see if was as different as you remember it.
>>96969858No it hasn't.
>>96971831Very much has
>>96968929It was actually a weird mix of Hunter the Reckoning and WFRP.Basically using the sheets and stats from WOD but our dm added some shit from mage and made us deal with sanity and wounds and shit. A lot of the deaths we had were random hirelings we used as PCs cause we were resting from bad wounds. Magic tended to be non-lethal and aggravated damage was pretty rare as per usual but we were paranoid about silver so we got as much as we could after our first werewolf encounter.Speaking of I should get back to writing this up.
>>96971950hasn't
>>96965253McGonagall first dissuaded our fears by telling us that the polarity had already been flipped, meaning our whole journey to the headmaster's office had been a simple trap after all. We trussed up Alfred, who wasn't even named that probably, and began discussing what we'd been doing. We told her about how we'd gotten some of her other students out of a murder dungeon, the rescue from dobby and the weird flesh creature, and then the dynamic entry with the tank. She listened to our story with increasing alarm, and the peanut gallery wasn't helping with their commentary. The less scrupulous members of our crew cut into the tale, including Damian who claimed to have handled the beast single handedly, but was quickly ignored when McGonagall saw Sharp roll his eyes. When we got to the part about the tank, she looked incredulous and asked us if we were joking about that last part. We got confirmation from Potter, who was looking through Snapes desk at the time, that yeah, we had arrived in a flying tank. Seamus and Dean commented on how awesome it'd been, and how we really should do it again sometimes. We laughed, then Patrick spoke up about the Dark ritual. This suddenly made every teacher present, including some of the students, turn their heads. McGonagall cleared her throat and mentioned that she should introduce us to the teachers present, and the rest of Dumbledore's army. Then she turned to us and asked if we had any idea what was going on with our current hostage, seeing as how he was the one who had locked them all in classrooms. Our attention turned to Alfred as one.
>>96975346Alfred in the time we'd spent telling our story had been sitting by the desk, simply smiling at us and genuinely just seeming confused. We asked what he was doing here, how had he even planned this, and why he'd done it. We also asked why he wasn't rocking his normal outfit. He smiled, and asked us who we were. We were confused, but Ron mentioned that he might have been hit with a memory charm. We decided that we had liked the bloke, and so went to untie him. Sharp however, had a different idea. We'd seen what he'd been hit by, and we knew this bastard had been waiting a long time for this. Sharp decided to do the best thing he could to make him drop the mask, he fucked with him.He started calling him as if he was a house elf, he called him a spell slinging hog, a mudblood, and filthy with a coat of sheening sweat that he could never wash off. His cover was dumb his name is dumb and more importantly, he had probably enjoyed being underfoot. The mask dropped at that last one, and he snarled at us that he would never give us info, the dark lord was already on the way, and he would rather die than let us get anything from him. Patrick and Pyotor, who hadn't known him from the beginning, shrugged, and shot him in the face before he could even voice a protest. Sharp ended up needing to take a bath later, and the two offenders were told off by at least 3 different teachers for not keeping him alive. Granted, we had gotten everything we needed, namely that we were about to be under siege. We began our preparations and contacted Lupin to tell him to bring as much as he could, this was it. We got a list of who we could call up, and began our planning.
>>96975478This is the last bit for a minute I gotta finish writing up this last bit and also putting together some images, seeing as how i'm gonna have to explain how we defended this shit. Our Dm did hand us a list of who we had available, but also gave us a link to the arcane journals of the Empire and Bretonnia, since those were our potential recruits. Hopefully that keeps yall busy for a minute because the next bit is the final chapter, namely the defense of Hogwarts.
>>96834421Our DM ran a one-shot, a 'pre-murder mystery' where our three-man party were:>the dapper silver fox (brother)>the studly older son>the hunky younger sonof a rich millionaire who'd recently remarried a really, really hot redhead. All three PCs were afraid of being written out his will, so they were there to check out the new trophy wife.It was a super-horny game, everyone kept trying to fuck the girl, or find a way to get all the money.In the end, the older son managed to kill the woman by pushing her off a flight of stairs, breaking her neck. She tried to poison him after he found out she intended to extract the businessman's passwords and drain his bank account via truth serum, and he barely survived.Then Bruce Wayne showed up.Turns out that the redhead was Poison Ivy, and we'd narrowly thwarted her plan. Wayne paid for our hospital fees.Oh and the businessman nearly died from being poisoned, but he survived, gained superpowers, and became a misogynist supervillain called 'Blight'.
One time while playing deathwatch i had my apothecary re-engeneer a latent version of the life eater virus and implanted it in his chapter geneseed so it would instabrly kill all Primaris marines but be harmless to actual marines.Shit was lit.
>>96971088>everybody really hated furriesGood old times
>>96976952based
>>96975556The fact that i could see this being a comic is what makes it, good job lmao.
>>96976952Now super curious where the Apothecary’s grudge for Primaris came from. Like I totally get why, it’s just quite a step up from letting them get into suicidal charges against the enemy to pox blanketing the lot of them
>>96977313Long story short, he saw the acceptance of Primaris as a lack of faith in the Emperor's perfect design for Astartes and an admission of weakness and fear of inadeguacy. So he decided that if his chapter was so weak to welcome Primaris (especially those that undergo the rubicon), he would force salvation on them.He died doing it but it worked
>>96975494So as I’ve said before in the beginning of part 4, we had given up on subtly, and one of the things we decided we needed was potential backup if we needed help. So we called in everyone we’d helped, everyone we’d hired, and even some contacts to see who could show up. We were able to contact Lupin by radio and were asked what the hell had happened at Hogwarts, and were confused what he meant. We’d clearly heroically handled everything and we were fine, we just were wondering if we could bolster our defenses in case someone came by. He then congratulated us on being psychic, because he was on the way with Dobby, and they’d seen a MASSIVE army headed towards us. We were still confused, and even more worried, and decided to see what we could do regarding castle defenses. We took the map from Neville through his protests and started asking him important tactical questions, like what our options were, what holes needed to be plugged, and how absolutely necessary was the bridge if we needed a nuclear option. He stuttered on that last one, but McGonagall took charge at this juncture, telling us “You cannot blow the only bridge into the castle, not when there’s more important things to block! My god is this how you handle everything?” We let her in on the MASSIVE ARMY OF WIZARDS heading towards us, at which point she began to point out hallways and entrances that even Harry wasn't aware of. She looked at him when he asked how she knew, seeing as how he'd never been caught using them, and simply said that not everyone needed a map to learn the castle's in's and outs. We decided this was a topic for later and we got to work. Sharp started by getting our supplies in order, Damian went to go check on something with Patrick, Pyotor started doing first aid on anyone who'd been injured, and Gambian went to talk shop with Lupin. Which was when Flitwick found the tank in his Classroom. He was not pleased when Damian said it was theirs.
>>96969858>At this point, the fakeness of OMH has been vastly outweighed by the sheer faggotry of the idiots that make it their life’s mission to “debunk” it. lol, no.It being fake isn't the reason it sucks. It being fake, forced, unfunny, and complete shit is the reason it sucks, alongside complete faggots like you pretending it was ever any good.You need to be an idiot to think "I faked a 300 page backstory and that made my antagonistic GM have to suck my dick" is anything more than the dumbest fantasy from a guy who's never actually played a game.The only "memory" kept alive is that of how gay some people can be
>>96978259Still more worth remembering over your constant bellyaching, nogaems reditor
>>96978224See the main issue wasn't that we'd destroyed his classroom, that he said was fine since we'd saved Longbottom. The main issue is we'd left the tank just sitting there. We explained that we didn't even know how to fix it, let alone move it, whereupon he waved his wand and the tank slowly began to move upwards, as he struggled to move it to a point where it wasn't blocking his door. Dumbfounded, Damian asked if he could help fix it, but Flitwick said no. Such a thing would need actual materials from the original, not only that, he was pretty sure the components that had broken were unfixable given that the gun had been snapped in two and the rest of the barrel was in about 40 different places. However, he did say we could repurpose the materials, which lit a lightbulb. Damian asked patrick to help him get the plates off, and they began working on their metal monstrosity. Meanwhile, Sharp had been discussing defenses and materials, where upon she mentioned that if we could procure enough materials, we could actually get new rifles, new gunpowder, and more ammo as long as we had enough material for alchemy. He was happy to hear that, and we got even more good news when Lupin arrived. We had called for aid, and it had been answered by an army of our own. We had men, material, and McGonagall had even sourced a few Cannons for us so we could defend at longer range than a rifle. We decided to see who had answered the call. I'm not going to get too into it since a lot of it was inside jokes but i'll say who was relevant to our story along with the list we made with them. Idk if i just post the list here or take a picture.
>>96978309Whoa, shots fired! This guy is really bringing the HEAT.Quit being a gaywad. The only part worth remembering is how queers like you tried to force it here, but only actually found any success on reddit. Throw in that no one who's ever played an RPG would read that story and not think it's complete shit, and we have to ask how many levels of projection you happen to be on.
>>96978493Again, considering all you’ve ever contributed to this site is whining about fake stories instead of contributing, you’ve got no room to be whining about projection. No game losers like you who contribute nothing but bitching are the reason this site is so shit.
>>96973729Now I kinda want to play Delta Green/Harry Potter crossover, with SAS team dealing with magical bullshit.
I could share a lot of stories but they were never against the DM, rather me and my group managed to make a lot of cool stories together that followed a certain plotline, so most of them aren't big "twists".Occasionally unexpected things happen, such as a raid killing an orphan I was mentoring once or a player making such a moving scene happen that their rebellious abomination can't but surrender, call them "Father" and truly mean it.I'm not sure if that's what the people in this thread want, so I'm just sharing a snippet of something fun happening once.
>>96980523Please feel free to share those, anon.
>>96834473based oldfag >>96834619cringe tourist
>>96980535I'll share the abomination one in a classic shitty greentext that the niggers of reddit may or may not steal then.>DM my own campaign>setup a huge plot that's honestly too big to encompass completely in brief>tl;dr cult of an entity that ensure reality doesn't get obliterated got genocided by a guy that got extremely pissed off for some reason>players are tasked to rebuild the cult>half because it is the right thing to do>half because they got coerced into it>along the way they meet a demonic snake who bites two of the players>enslaves them so they take care its two eggs>practically a geas so if the eggs or newborn snakelings get killed players get lobotomized best case scenario>they bring the eggs back to the cult because they're adventurer ultimately and don't have time to deal with egg raising>adventuring happens>they come back to their three eggs>realize there's one egg extra>and the egg is the size of a house>a veteran cultist figures out that there's a giant ancient snake-like deity that occasionally bestow its progeny to cults that venerate snakes to ensure they will take care of themThis was a plotline I put down because of a previous campaign's lore, mind you.>adventurers don't care too much they'll let the cult handle it>the deity egg begins talking and demands to be let out already>adventurers realize that maybe they should converse with the deity egg>deity egg is a brat but even as an embryo can communicate and demand things>the adventurers will now be revealed for who they are and what they try to teach the egg1/2
>>96980657>Lee, a buddhist like monk (actual class was bard) who loathes to hurt others and is content not raising their ranks as a holy person>Victoria, champion of the arena that is finding out that the arena they were the champion on made her win every time for nefarious reasons>Dasher, an absolute dick stabbing thief who sees everyone as tools, not Stupid Evil and still values friendship and other bonds but is an absolutely ruthless monster>Lee tries to teach the egg to make their own choices and be creative as it shows the egg a spell of Creation>the egg immediately learn the spell and causes its resting place to become adorned with several obsidian snakes>Victoria basically tells the egg it should handle things itself and if it wants to hatch so bad it has to figure it out>the egg is annoyed at this but figures he has to if nobody is going to help it hatchNote, of Lee and Victoria I remember a bit less because the campaign was a while ago and they had other plotlines they were more invested in.>Dasher, meanwhile, tries very fucking hard to establish itself as the divine egg's father>Dasher tries to teach the egg that it should listen to him and that he will take care of the egg to make sure it will grow and become strong>the egg accepts that Dasher is the father and that it will listen to him for that is its choice... for now>eventually the egg hatches>pic related>even as a newborn the godling is as big as a house>he is named Endless and is tasked with staying at base and ensure it is well protected>it is voracious and eat greedily of meat and sweet fruits>lessons are still given and Dasher continues to encroach on the godling's mind trying to establish himself more and more as a father figure>however Endless is a bit cross he does not get sacrifices himself as he wants to eat sentient beings>nonetheless campaign continues and eventually the cult base is under attack2/3 a bit longer I guess
>>96980697>party comes back to base and has to setup defenses>where the fuck is Endless>apparently the enemy cult dig tunnels under the base to collapse everyone and everything since it was built on top a mountain>Endless dig down to stop them and keep things stable>however it was a trap>the enemy cult is sending their own to "attack" the godling so he will eat their flesh>like a shark tasting blood they hope to either make the godling sated and unwilling to stop feeding or to turn against its own cult>party goes down the tunnels>finds Endless feasting on living sacrifices>Endless is pretty excited>like a kid holding an hammer after drinking an energy drink>Lee and Victoria try to calm down Endless and get him out of the tunnels to help fight off the incoming assault above ground>Endless seems annoyed at that saying he prefers to stay underground and finally eat the offerings he so dearly wanted>Dasher stays silent>Lee and Victoria continue to say that it is bad and they will give him what he wants after>Endless is getting pissed off and points out his so called 'Father' is being weirdly silent>I bring up Endless sheet ready for a long and vicious fight as they inevitably will have to kill the god child>"He's right to act this way">I put the sheet aside>Dasher claims they haven't been looking for Endless interest's after all>sure it is convenient to have him to their bidding but they are not trying to make him grow in a way that benefits him>they just want to shape him in a way that is most convenient and will cause the least problems>to truly look after his needs is to say his unnatural hunger and to put his well being as a priority>everyone is stunned including Endless (aka me)>Lee and Victoria end up relenting that they could find a compromise after all>maybe give him space to inhabit a village or what have you>grant his followers blessings and services in exchange for sacrifices if he so desireMan 2000 words isn't that much 3/4
>>96980791>Dasher earnestly looks at Endless and apologizes for not having been a good father and not looking after his child's interest>he walks forward exposing himself>Endless approaches silently>Victoria holds her weapon>Lee is unsure on what to do>Endless is onto Dasher then>pic related happens
>>96980834And that's pretty much it, they killed the invading cult, went on the counter attack, saved the day and everyone was happy.Except the people Endless ended up eating I guess but what can you do.
>>96980550>portrays a retarded whiny shit-flinger as the chad and a chill oldfag as the soijakSamefaggot and a demoralizer. Fuck off.
>playing a beer & pretzels commoner game since DCC had just come out>Figured it'd be fun if we're the lowest of the low in an adventurers' guild; instead of funneling toward PC classes, we work our way up, etc>First mission we nearly TPK trying to help a farmer with a mean horse>Somehow ready for our second mission>Looking for survivors (or remains) of another party in the sewers>Find the sole survivor after a couple rough encounters with normal rats>He refuses to leave, so a couple of us try to beat him down to carry him out (more GP if he's alive, after all)>My "mild-mannered wizard's apprentice" has Vietnam flashback and beats the fuck out of him, nearly kill him>The noise attracts a Carrion Crawler who wants to eat our guy>Another near TPK, 3 of us down or paralyzed, just me and my friend barely standing>CC tries to flee by climbing up a wall>Enraptured by wizardly bloodlust, I get the bright idea to throw my club as a final "fuck you" to this bullshit rapeslug>Roll 1>Confirm 1Me: Do I keep rolling?GM: Might as well?>roll another 1GM: Holy shit, Anon. Roll something else or get the fuck out of my house.>Then a 3>We're all red in the face laughing, the GM is hiding his face>A minute later GM narrates how my perfect, powerful throwing form misses the Crawler, hits aand shatters a ceramic pipe, unleashing a torrent of pressurized shit water, which rockets the club back into my face with many times more force and pinning me underwater, drowning meOnly time I've had a 1:8000 roll. Good times.
>>96983038triggered, tranny?
>>96985244I get you love trannie cock, but I don't think calling random anons that works as a mating call
>>96978424Aight imma be vague fuck it.Of the people we saved, we had about three hundred people. It wasn't much, but with the defenses we had, and the weapons we'd gained, we had a pretty good group of men. About a hundred were basic lads, more than likely just able to hold a sword and shield and help us hold the bridge. About twenty of them were actual soldiers, a few of them willing to help lead the groups and keep cohesion, eighty of them we designated as gunners and crew for our cannons. Surprisingly there were even a few equestrians that were able to ride horses and more exotic mounts Hogwarts had. Finally, we had the biggest lads grab some heavy armor and big swords to handle any bigger bastards. Yes this was absolutely railroading, but we were happy since along with this the school had a magic barrier and animated armor to help defend our squishier allies. Obviously, our DM had us build a list in 8th Edition. Surprisingly we saw a few familiar faces. Along with the random tavern goers and actual soldiers, we had Audrey, the witch we'd saved originally, a bunch of order of the Phoenix members including Lupin, his wife, a man named Heinrich who'd run a tavern we used as a hideout, Gregory the old preacher we knew was good with a shotgun, and a few others I don't have off the top of my head. They actually mostly ended up living surprisingly. In all we had,10 Special characters 4 Groups of State Troops with Halberds or spears4 handgunner squads2 Cannons3 Greatsword unitsa knight unit and a Demigryph unitOur squad wasn't counted among that number, we were an extra X factor, our job was to run between all the squads, give ammo, keep morale up, and keep them from breaking the breach. We had a long few days ahead as we did what we could to shore up defenses, build trenches and barricades. We were glad we did, because the army Voldemort brought was way bigger than we'd originally thought.
>>96987635you're the expert on trannies, I'll take your word on it
>>96834473It was board culture and should still be held as such, you fucktard.
>>96990188The morning of the siege, we woke up to nothing but a few death Eaters holding a white flag, demanding to talk to whoever was in charge. We woke McGonagall, and she asked for terms. We were told, in simple terms "All those who have fought against my rule shall perish. Surrender Immediately, or blah blah i will make you suffer blah blah I'm a big evil tool who's assmad he got baited." McGonagall gave Gambian a look as we laughed at the demand. Sharp leaned over, and told the bloke with the flag to do himself a favor and stick his wand so far up his ass he could be considered a writing implement. We got a bolt of green in our direction for that, but Pyotor actually counter-sniped the idiot. We were told we would regret this, as the fog dropped for a moment to show us the horrors on display. We saw skeletons, zombies, dementors and Death Eaters, all along the line, for every Death eater there was about 10 zombies and undead, each of them leading their own little armies of bastards. They may have only had 50 Death Eaters, but that many undead was insane. We'd have to fight and claw our way through at least 20 bastards to even get a shot at the leaders. Then, clearing the fog further, we saw glimpses of those unthinkable monsters we'd seen in the basement, monuments of flesh and bone made mockery of human form. We hoped the rest of the lads had better spines than the rest of us, since while that death treatment sounded interesting suddenly, we still weren't taking it. Telling the students was the wrong decision though, we almost had a mutiny.
>>96969006>you actually have no idea why the story is obviously fakeSuch an incredible, super powerful reason that it can't be posted here or else everyone's minds explode.
>>96834421There was that time one guy had a horrible group and ruined pisonics for them.
live! for the hooligans!
I got a chance to do the "I said I cast Fireball." meme.Was playing the party wizard and started rummaging through a shelf full of scrolls. DM had me roll to see if I find anything good. Rolled well and found a Scroll of Fireball (5).I'm only level 4. I can only cast L2 spells. The scroll is over twice my power level.I search the shelf again, roll hot, and find another Scroll of Fireball (5). Then another. Then another. On my fifth attempt, I fumble the roll and the shelves collapse into a pile of rubble and dust.Next combat, our group is fighting some sort of Mind Flayer. Again, we're only level 4, and Mind Flayers are CR7 in 5E by default. I get incapacitated almost immediately (don't remember how exactly). The Barbarian and Cleric are tagging out each round to not die while I'm trying and failing to break free of the incapacitation each turn.Barbarian goes down. Then the Cleric. Fortunately, they had drawn the fight away from me.The mind flayer advances towards me. I finally shrug off the incapacitation. I pass my Arcana check to cast a spell beyond my level. I cast Fireball (5).Next turn, I pass my Arcana check to cast a spell beyond my level. I cast Fireball.(5).The mind flayer goes down.I pass my Arcana check to cast a spell beyond my level. DM asks why I rolled Arcana. I cast Fireball.(5).
>>96969006>trust me bro it's fakek
Hooligan must finish!
>>96990273See while we and our companions were stalwart men of valor, who didn't run away because they were courageous and not the fact that we were trapped, the students were just a bunch of kids. We'd had a meeting in the big dining hall, and half of the school was either ready to try fleeing, try hiding or giving us over just for the hope they'd be left alone, or even just were manic crying and broken mentally. The size of the army had an effect on them. We had a few ideas on improving morale. Eventually, we had Potter make a speech about being the same as them, scared, but willing to fight. He was like them you see, human, and so were they. They could stand and fight! We gave it about a 7/10, good speech. OOC we gave our dm looks because he just cribbed off Karl Franz for the speech but it was fine. Thankfully, we did have more good news. While not teleporting in, we were going to be reinforced by a few wizards, including more calvary but it would be about 2 days. This along with the speech helped sooth some nerves, but we still had some kids that were either too young to be fighting or just didn't want to. Those who were still mutinous were given to their houses along with some rope to keep them around, and then most of the non-combatants were pushed into dormitories and given a few fighting men in case we needed to make those places our holdouts. This proved to be a wise decision.
Bump motherfucker. That's my thread.>>97000616Hooligan, I'm taking away your cooking license…And promoting you to certified chef.Don't stop.
I have no Made of Win stories. I've been gaming for 20 years and I really have to epic tales of winning.
>>97007475No wins at all, or just nothing that you feel is worth retelling? Cause that feels like me to a T. I love my group, but all of our stuff is "you had to be there" type shit or inside jokes.
>>96834757The purest distillation of the sloppiest of slop that we have been slopping too long
>>97000616>>97004013The nation calls it seems.While we kept everyone busy preparing, Potter had apparently found Snape and had gone off on an adventure to confront him, with our help, he found two horcruxes, killed them, saved malfoy's sons life, and had even found the groudskeeper and saved his life. We even got a nice griffon name Witherbeak so that was nice. Oh and Snape was dead and Potter was apparently sad but we didn't give a shit, Voldemort had a wand who cares. Ignoring small canon deviations, we went to check on Damian's tank effort. He'd made a fucking Steam Tank. The tog had been cannibalized so that it could actually run again, given a set of metal wheels that were just the remains of it's treads we'd accidently smashed on entry. A cannon had been mounted to the chassis and was loadable in vehicle thanks to some magic. It even had a LMG on the gunner seat just to help cut down the chaff. Sure, it wasn't killing wizards, but it could kill some beasts and zombies, and that's what it needed to do. We were happy and all ooc cause, ya know, it's a fucking tank, but we were worried when the other shoe was gonna drop. We wondered who would be driving it when Damian popped out of the gunner hatch, claimed dibs, and threated anyone who dared question him with C4. We said fine, and surprisingly Damian had already chosen the man for the job when it came to setting up the explosives, namely Seamus Finnegan. We questioned this, before we were told he was Irish, and further inquiry made it clear he knew how bombs worked so we said it was fine. He seemed fine with it, but he also wanted in on the tank idea as did Dean. Eventually explosives were just given to Flitwick to watch over, who did a perfectly fine job.
>>97009127Speaking of armor, we decided it was time to actually get our own troops, and ourselves, some good armor. Scavenging for scraps of armor around the castle, we got our essentials in order. Our shock troops had the finer armor, our line troops got enough leather and chainmail to cover them, and our gunners and cannon crews got what was left of the Kevlar we still had to keep their heads down. We on the other hand, decided to forgo the softer stuff and went with some things McGonagall said were perfect for us and one other, and got suited up in knightly armor. Later, we were told these were heirlooms of Hogwarts, but for us it didn't matter as much. Patrick got a set of armor that had a badger's crest upon it, sitting rather comfortably on his frame larger frame, Sharp got a set of armor pieces that once used to belong to an actual knight of the Phoenix (The order originators) and Pyotor got a bunch of Armor pieces from some dude named Salazar (We had no clue who that was but it was cool with snakes on it.) Damian said he didn't need armor, and Gambian said he was fine with just the same armor our line troops had. The rest of the armors went to people who we thought might want it, namely, Neville Longbottom got himself the armor of some bloke named Gryffindor, which made Ron jealous apparently, and any other pieces of the famous armors of Hogwarts got split into enough armor to cover everyone else just a little bit in case a protection spell failed. In all, suiting up, our group looked like a band of fine knights, even though one person was wearing a fucking tank instead but we let him have his fun. Our preparations mostly finished, our explosives set, troops sent to garrison holes we might find in our defenses and troops prepared to hold the main gate, we let everyone get some shut eye before the siege began. At the crack of dawn, we were ready.
>>97009844Our riflemen were posted on walls and wizards were hiding behind our more armored breathern, and we waited as the typical morning fog began to roll out. This wasn't good, but we were sure our lads would hold. We'd already spent a few months recruiting them, and they already knew this was an important battle. There'd be no quarter, and each man and woman would fight as if their soul depended on it. The Tank waited behind doors we planned to open when we were sure it wasn't gonna get sniped by a rock throw, and our cannons were primed and ready for anything. We had Animated armor ready to back us up on the bridge, and any holes were either primed with small groups for things we knew we couldn't mine, and with lookouts with radios for places we could. We waited in our armor, ready to help hold the line anywhere we were needed, our meager weapons given an upgrade, with Sharp holding an enchanted longsword, Patrick given a hammer and a mighty shield, with Pyotor and Gambian ready to support us with protective spells and medical supplies should we get nicked. We were waiting at the top of the battlements, keeping morale up. Soldiers fidgeted as we heard cries and howls in the morning dawn, sounds of scraping feet and marching boots, all ready to pounce when the fog lifted. McGonagall waited for a our signal, and at the sound a great horn, we motioned for her to begin. She began casting a protection spell around Hogwarts, and in an instant, the fog lifted, and every man felt his spirits lift, then they fell slightly at the army in front of it. The call to fire was given, and the great volley of shot began to sing in earnest. The horde began to fall one by one as the menagerie of monsters fell to cannon and shot, and then they were upon the bridge. A great mighty bellow was given as they charged our spear line, and the call was made to hold. We heard the Cacophony of the command given by the whole of the front line, and the wave crashed upon it.
>>97010222We ran to assist as we pushed the doors open to help the boys on the ground, as our wizards and witches ran counter interference on any smartass wizards who tried to fly their way in, apparently some of them could mist walk. We didn't lose too many, but it was a thing to think of later. We joined the main battle at the bridge and leaped into the fray to get our men out of trouble. We cut down zombies, skeletons, strange ghoul like creatures, things called Dementors which apparently terrified the wizards, and then the wave drew back. We stood on the bridge covered in green and purple blood, thankfully none of it got in our mouths. We held the bridge as the next wave came, keeping our men safe as long as we can, then letting the wave dissipate. We watched the third wave approach with grim resolve as the normal tide of zombies was suddenly bolstered by now armored Death Eaters and Werewolves, all sporting a dozen troops each, walking in front of the main line as we watched cannonballs and shot either get glanced off or miss the bastards. We steadied ourselves and prepared to fight the enemy leadership hand to hand, when the tank moved out of the doorway and began firing everything it had. The cannon eviscerated a werewolf and the gun on the top started clearing the chaff. With most of the meat shields dropping like flies, the enemy officers began to pull back. With the bridge mostly secure, we left Pyotor to handle any injuries before the next batch came in, and ran to help our wizards on the battlements. We nearly ran headfirst into a student as he'd been sent to grab medical supplies and the local nurse. We made it to the battlements and watched as the next wave steadily came in with some of the larger flesh abominations. We ran to help man the cannons as we watched spells pepper us, and helped weaken the monsters before they got too close. More waves came, men died, and wizards died, and the bastards came all the same.
Bump for hooligan
>>97010459The next 4 hours was spent running from battlements to basements, doing what we could to plug holes in defenses when our squads guarding other entrances were ambushed. We didn't need to blow any emergency buttons, which we found odd, but we later learned that most of the attacks were actually avoiding our finely honed tracks since Death Eaters were sending ghouls forwards to sniff out gunpowder and plastic explosives. How they did this we didn't know but they just ignored most of the openings we'd made obvious and avoided the explosive traps. We were planning to work on that later, first came blood. We managed to plug the gaps well enough, with our little wizard group giving us info in the Maurder's map and some wizard flares that went up. We fought like men possessed as we went from bloody passage to bloody passage, wizards and dead men we'd hired dead at the passes, men who held for everything died from blasts of magic, claws, and dark swords. For every person of ours that died, we took 20 of theirs. We got Lupin to the back for medical attention alongside his wife, we managed to keep the Weasleys from becoming holey, and even got a few teachers out of a jam when one mad bastard casted a paralyzing spell on our whole column, that one was way too close to the point Patrick had to be dragged out so we could get him medical attention. Even Potter and his pals managed to get a few good scraps in, Neville in particular on the frontline rallied our forces time and time again, his armor covered in blood at the end of the battle, none of it his. Potter and his pals got at least 3 of the enemies important leaders, while Luna helped keep everyone alive and the Tank Trio got their fun in, even with a close scare when a giant nearly caved in the tank's top. In the end, the enemy forces pulled back, and we finally breathed. It was time to take stock, and the lookout was grim.
>>97016690We'd lost nearly a third of our total strength, one hundred Dead, with another forty injured, many of them our own hirelings. They'd volunteered, but it still stung watching them be moved onto cremation fires. We'd actually gotten a few protests regarding burning bodies, but the remaining teachers backed us up, saying any corpses couldn't be left to be desecrated by enemy magics. We were rather somber watching some old drinking buddies get placed on the pyre, and then came the students and teachers. We watched as twenty of Hogwarts finest be lifted and placed next to our comrades, and the pyre was lit. Young wizards who no longer had a future, some teachers who would never teach again, mates who'd never go back to their normal lives. We watched as they all burned, and the hollow faces of the living galvanized us quite nicely, and we decided to do something about it. While many that were left ate dinner in silence, many simply starting into space or requiring comfort from friends and teachers alike, our friends took a different approach. We drank, laughed, and told jokes about the men and woman who'd died, and offered to the survivors to give us stories regarding the dead. After a few drinks and good food, we had quite a few memorial stories to go around, and we poured out drinks for the fallen. Us and our new veterans now had a different idea. We'd give out the beatings, take nothing for granted, and really make them pay. We'd been given the surrender terms again, and we told the offending wizard to drink piss out of his shitty mask. We were well and truly enraged come morning, when after a night of drinking and rest, most of us were ornery enough to kill with our glares alone. Then we got more bad news, Harry had found out that an entrance was possibly open. The Chamber of Secrets had an entrance that Voldemort himself could exploit.
>>97016913We left some men at the frontline as we began to rush down to the deepest parts of the castle. We left Patrick with the medics since he was still under the weather, Damian and the tank crew, and Luna at the front while we rushed down, picking up Potter, Weasley, Hermione and Longbottom to come with us. Gambian ended up grabbing Amy for another potential spellcaster to help handle things, and we got a few animated armors and ten men to aid us, 3 Greatswords, 4 Troopers, and 3 Gunners to just help us deal with potential enemies we might run into. We ran as fast as our feet could carry us to a place that Potter swore was the right place. We were surprised it was a woman's bathroom, and then were even more shocked when a fucking ghost floated at us, demanding to know where they'd been all year, she was bored and Longbottom was late for their talks. We watched as Neville failed several IRL checks to save the situation and keep us from spending 40 minutes trying to deescalate with his new ghost GF. After the fourth time he tried to explain how we were in a battle and how Harry was trying to reopen the chamber of secrets to make sure we could finish closing it, we made an executive decision. We excused ourselves, mentioning the massive battle outside, and with a thankyouverymuchsorrywehaveaholetoplug we ushered Potter back, threw a brick of c4 and detonated it, then jumped down the hole dragging Neville with us as she blustered at us for ruining her bathroom. We fell down the shoot until we hit mud and bones, then rushed to the central chamber. We promised to rebuild everything later or just get her out of the bathroom. Seriously why was she still there.
>>97017628Meanwhile, up top, the battle had restarted, with another few waves of bodies thrown at us while the Death Eaters began bringing out the big guns. Bigger monsters and more giants were brought forward to eat our bullets and cannonballs, while the tank did it's best to cut down as many big bastards as it could. In the end, only a few fleshy exemplars reached the lines as our troops focused fire on the giants before they could breach the walls, which is when the people still at the bridge watched as the front line of Knightly Automatons died in droves. Our Spearmen rushed forward to plug the gaps left by the colossal monsters, buying time for cannon crews and gunners to redirect fire and reload. Men died in duos as the monsters tore into them, and more and more skeletons and zombies began to rush the bridge, hoping to finally break the line of tired soldiers that had denied them once before. We waited and when the bastards reached about halfway, we launched the rest of our C4 out of a makeshift catapult, directly on top of the Death Eaters controlling the horde. The bloody viscera confirmed our hopes that nothing was left, as a thousand of the skeletons on the bridge suddenly collapsed. Then, as the smoke cleared, we watched as the new Arch-Witch Bellatrix casted a single spell, and a bridge of dark magic attach itself to the walls, and a thousand more skeletons began to march directly to the battlements as misty wizards began to arch over the defenders. Someone screamed they were after the children, which galvanized the garrison nicely. The walls were abandoned, as men and woman rushed to the inner walls and the castle to defend the heart of Hogwarts. We just hoped the inner walls would hold. We also noticed Voldemort wasn't there, which worried the defenders. Where the hell was he.
>>97017719Meanwhile in the basement, we were slowly making our way through the tunnels of the chamber of secrets, watching every doorway and leaving lit torches where we could while the wizards kept us supplied with light spells. We didn't talk much, but Potter went missing for a minute, apparently talking to something in the corner when we found him. He mentioned he'd been talking with a few snakes that had been left down here, it was a sort of curse he'd inherited, that the central room was the only way to reach the underground, all the pathways led directly there, and then to the bathroom. They were escape tunnels by nature not infiltration tunnels, as only a true son of Slytherin could enter. We decided this was a good enough explanation as any, and let him lead. We eventually made our way to a large central room, where we decided that plugging these probably trumped maintaining the structural integrity or whatever the fuck was down here, so we began to place c4 where we could. We placed c4 on four out of 5 tunnels, leaving the largest central one for last as we expected it to be load bearing. We were going to place the explosives, bug out, then press the button when we got topside. As we prepared the last batch of explosives, Potter suddenly stood up full alert. Most of the wizards immediately looked down the central tunnel, as Potter told us to all take defensive positions. There was a brief moment of silence as we watched the central passage like hawks. Then, out of the blue, a green bolt shot out of the darkness and went straight for Potter. He'd been suddenly looked at his pendant, then smiled at his friends. Potter took the hit to his chest and fell down limp. Ron and Hermoine screamed out to him, the rest of us stood in shock silence, then turned in anger towards the tunnel and got ready for a fight. Our resolve slowly began to waver as the THING began to slither out of the darkness.
>>97024128It had the head and body of a snake, but multiple boney arms held spears, swords, and axes aloft as the giant serpent slithered to the center of the room, with far more eyes on it's head scanning the room for prey, fangs elongated to look like great flagpoles. It's entourage was a group of silent Death eaters, themselves cloaked with snake heads and wielding executioner style blades and halberds. And riding the snake, looking far more skeletal than any descriptions of him we'd heard, was a noseless man smugly waving a wand that glowed sickly green. >A Pity.Lord Voldemort sighed from his perch on his final horcrux, the thing Nagini had become.>I'd have thought our duel would last longer, but now here I am, playing nursemaid and cleanup.He dismounted and looked at the boy who had caused him so many issues dead on the floor. >Goodbye Potter, I shall send the rest of your wretched friends to greet you in hell.>Now my dear muggle friends do you mind killing yourselves? I'd rather not be dirty to meet my new, pure, wizarding world.Sharp didn't bother playing along, and growled for us to charge. Our lads bellowed in challenge, both sides dipped their weapons, and charged. Blades met wand, Halberds met Executioner's blade, and greatsword met axe in a flurry of combat. Sharp didn't end up fighting Voldemort himself, as Longbottom and the rest of our wizards instead fought the snake and it's master. Instead, he, Gambian and Pyotor found themselves facing a much more armored foe that seemed to be singling them out, slicing through some of our best volunteers to fight us. We obliged him to avoid a massacre, and we began do duel him.
>>97024172Meanwhile above, things had gone from bad to worse. We'd managed to get to the dormitories to keep the bastards out, but we'd had only two options. Split our forces in 4 to keep everyone safe, or drag the wounded and young to a central location to avoid getting picked apart. We chose option B, with McGonagall teleporting everyone back and forth to the central dining hall for protection, keeping the windows blocked with magic, metal, and even some wooden barricades. Meanwhile, the rest of the army posted up in the courtyard, where we still had plenty of room to fire and avoid a general melee. This actually worked well, as we were able to hold the central yard with cannon fire and what was left of our ammo reserves. We took down more giants, more undead, and quite a few death eaters, even watching at least two or three of the clearly in charge Death Eaters get mulched by a cannonball or take a musketball to the the head. All good things fall eventually, and what caused ours was the alpha bitch known as Bellatrix and that fucking cunt Fenrir.I hate werewolves, I hate them as a concept, and we were forced to watch as our left flank was nearly torn to shreds as he and 10 of his werewolf buddies suddenly materialized and began to butcher our frontline troops, killing with seemingly every swing of their claws. Lupin was forced to leap into the fray himself from the sick ward, including Patrick, who now carried a greataxe and helped rally the men to push them back. The main issue was Bellatrix had brought a fucking dragon. The dragon played havoc on us as it blew up one of our cannon crews with it's breath, and then began to play torture on the other flank, it was almost enough for us to attempt a retreat. Keyword almost. Damian had a plan, but he hated the plan, it meant saying goodbye to his pride and joy he'd worked on for the past day and a half. That, and he was starting to feel the pressure as the tank began to below it's last.
>>96837844lmao faggot.but very good
>>96841608literal based retard.very good story.
>>97024222This whole time, the tank had become more of a symbol than an actual combat capable vehicle. It was still able to move, sure, but the last day and a half of fighting had begun to make the thing creak and groan at every movement. They'd already had to replace the armor and some of the wheels when a giant had gotten uncomfortable close to picking the thing up before we were able to give it a face full of grapeshot, and now a day of running around ferrying wounded and children to and from dormitories had drained much of the magic from the vehicle. It was metaphorically and literally running out of steam, and even flitwick was surprised it'd lasted this long. Dean and Seamus put it up to the fact that they'd helped run the damn thing, but really Damian kept the thing running as long as he possibly could, resorting to carrying a wrench on him the whole time just to tighten and fix any issues that might come up driving the thing. In the end however, even he had felt the effects of the thing beginning to break down, so he'd come up with an alternate idea: The Mobile Tsar Bomba.See in his mind he didn't want this thing to be a symbol of despair when some big beasty kicked it down and killed him in it, and he certainly didn't wanna end up like a sardine. So during the last night, they'd stuck a bunch of c4 and bombs on the inside so they could keep the tank out and fire with it, but could abandon it and blow it to hell in case they got overrun. It had been a bit hairbrained and a little stupid, but in the end, we'd managed to get the tank in working order and still have a few c4 packages to make it sufficiently deadly if need be. However, after reports regarding ghouls sniffing out c4, and the behavior we'd seen from some groups flat out ignoring anywhere we kept explosives, we began to question if something would cancel out the detonator if we did things at a distance. Damian told us he had a plan for that, one he was regretting now.
>>97024265See Damian's thought process was that they were preparing to jam any signals we sent to the bombs to prevent any issues, and like the paranoid bastard he was, he decided that the best response was a Deadman's switch. Namely, he was planning on creating a button he could just press and keep things ready to go in case the first detonator didn't go. So, he rolled the tank up to the frontlines along with the rest of us, bombs and all. Then we'd had to quickly attach a cart and move it along, keeping the wounded out of the tank so nothing went wrong. After a while, Damian himself had gotten a bit melancholy. It was as if spending 8 months fighting dark wizards had drained all the normal pluck out of him, and as the fighting had gone on, he was laughing harder and harder at things that weren't that funny. It had worried Dean and Seamus, who seemed to understand that he was beginning to loose his grip on things. In the end, they were partially right. Damian had seen enough, and the death of all those kids had finally caused him to snap. He was regretting snapping at some point, but as the day had worn on, he didn't seem to care. More kids would live to see another sunrise, more kids could grow to be better than him. Better than a basic mechanic that'd just gotten lucky and wound up not dead on the floor cause he was wearing a few more tons of armor than everyone else. And now he had a target. The Bitch.
>>96845082>This monologue went on for about 4 minutes, where upon Hudson was able to recover, and unshackle the prisoner. As Damian finished setting the explosive, Sharp thanked the cult for it's time, and motioned to blow the wall so we could leave. The fact this went off without a hitch was nothing short of a miracle.Speech is infact NOT a free action when you deal with lawless murder hobos it seems
>>97024297At this point, the dragon had landed right on our flank of Knightly constructs, and was about to reach our human squishy troops. Damian, finally seeing her, told Dean and Seamus to get the hell out of the tank, he was gonna roll it in to blow the whole load. They rushed out, knowing we only had a small amount of time, but they looked back one last time, and told him to get out quick after he his the accelerator. Damian gave them a knowing smile, saying he knew what to do, and closed the hatch, taking off at top speed. Bellatrix was laughing, throwing spells, watching muggles die, when she saw a red haired group beginning to help some of the wounded out of the courtyard. What fun it would be to kill them. Make Potter suffer, make the children suffer, let the world suffer. She would kill the children, the parents would watch as she had her new wedding gift eat them whole, then eat them piece by piece to savor the suffering. She shivered at the wonderful thought. Then she heard a strange car horn noise, as a metal monstrosity seemingly jumped off a ramp from nowhere directly at her. Child's play, she thought, as she had her beloved pet pierce it with it's claws, hearing a yell from inside as it's driver suddenly had a few new wounds. She direct herself closer, starting at the man inside, this muggle, this fool. She would enjoy his suffering too.Then he smiled a toothy, bloodsoaked grin. He held up a hand with a single Detonater, pressed down in his larger hands. He let go, and the three of them were engulfed in a fireball.In about an instant, the dragon was torn in half, Bellatrix was dead, and Damian Steinburg was gone. His last thoughts were of those he left behind. He hoped this was enough to save the rest of them.
>>96854894>>96854460>>96854999this is great shit mate.thank you very much
>>96834473I made a GW2 engineer based on Henderson, with a variation of his name: has a mohawk, wears shades, has a toucan pet and shoots a shotgun. Gadget build. P. fun.
>>96876044yes please tell. especially the old one summoning
>>96917085>He said he'd left a note.What a polite young lad
>>97024345Rest in peak Damian Steinburg. He has earned his place in Avalon.
>>96841566>One anon singlehandedly saving an otherwise meh threadBless your soul
>>97029398I didn't actually expect this much traction desuIf i expected people to read this I'd probably have written this better and not rushed it.
>>97024345Before the lines were hit, Patrick and Lupin had been hitting if off in the adhoc medical camp. They'd been swapping stories as Lupin learned what happened to Alfred, how dobby had launched them, and the experience we'd had over the long months. He wished he'd been with us, he said, all he'd done was occasionally help Harry and nearly ruin their relationship. Patrick was confused by that. Lupin looked at Tonks, his wife apparently, then sighed, saying he'd nearly thrown away everything he'd fought for just for a chance at fighting the dark lord, and he was scared. He'd offered himself as an ally to Harry, more of a sacrifice than anything else. Then we'd entered the picture, and basically did what he had done, he admitted he was a little jealous. Then Patrick told him, strangely sagely, that it was because none of them had something to go back to. Lupin had Tonks, the order, and Harry. What did their group have? People to return to? He said nobody in the group had loved oneshe knew of, Sharp's family was estranged, Damian had basically run away from home, Gambian was an outcast, and Pyotor was basically his only friend after he'd left the army, as was Patrick to Pyotor. Lupin asked if he remembered much of his life before the campaign. Patrick put his hand to his chin, then somberly said.>It's 'ard to rememba, ya know, what we use ta be. I suppose I just sorta forgot till now. I don't got much, maybe a missus at home, a lovle daughta, but it's 'ard to rememba sometems. I drink for a reason ya know, ain't the best fatha. >But youz got dat, you'z a fatha roight? You'z got a reason to git home. We'z don't, so we'z get ya home safe wid da missus.He raised what was left in his flask, and drank long gulps before Ms. Weasley rushed over and snatched it from him, citing the drink to cause him to recover slower. Then we all heard the horn, and the two men exchanged looks, got up, and ran to the front.
>>97031180They reached the front just as Fenrir had started rushing the left flank, and so they rushed to help defend. Patrick hadn't had time to really grab any armor or his shield, and had resorted to a large greataxe he'd found. It was more like a hammer really given it was just a stone one he'd torn off a statue, but he was operating off adrenaline and alcohol here. Lupin went Wolf, and they started helping keep the line focused. Lupin tore into a few lesser creatures harassing us as the flank turned to meet the enemy wolves, as Patrick laid into what was left of the chaff. He got a few bangs, but he'd been through worse. The column watched as he and Lupin tore into the enemy line, before turning their attention to the wolves. At this point, Patrick began to laugh, charging the wolves. He'd always been a good melee fighter, but this was exhalating. He was toe to toe with monsters beyond human understanding, to the magic of the fantasy world. He reached the werewolves killing the men we'd been saving and tore into them like a berzerker. At this point, he'd shed his armor to just get a bit more movement out, enough to land a few more strikes, just to save just a bit more. The line was beginning to reform, Lupin had routed another Death eater a few meters to his right as his own group faltered. They laughed as battle brothers and Patrick felt alive. Then came the larger pack, this time with Fenrir at it's head. He rolled up in full war form, and challenged Lupin to a duel, in the middle of the fucking battleground. We were half tempted to let the bastard just get shot, but Lupin agreed. Unfortunately, this is where Patrick cut him off, and said Lupin was his Second. The Big Bad Wolf would go through the Woodsman first, he said. Fenrir grinned, sharped his claws on the ground, accepting with a bloodthirsty grin. The two took low stances and prepared for a fight as the rest of the flank and his pack of wolves watched.
>>97031296The Duel was rather quick, befitting both combatants. Fenrir wanted to save himself for the slaughter inside, especially getting those lovely little children. He didn't underestimate Patrick certainly, he'd seen the big man in action. He'd go for his throat, then tear it out to let him bleed to death and focus on the little wolfling he'd seen grow to much, finally a match for him. Patrick on the other hand was regretting shedding his armor, and finally he was getting tired as hell. He thought of ways to end this quick, but he was just so fogged up from the combat he'd barely finished thinking what to do next after this. Then it clicked. He shouldn't, he should focus on the big bad wolf, the bastard, the menace, he wouldn't let Lupin down. He'd seen too many men die, the little ones and the big ones. He worried for them all. Then it clicked again. He was sober. For the first time in 3 years, he was sober. He focused, and his face turned from a grin of battle into grim determination. He'd go for the head. There was silence as the two combatants watched each other, perfectly still. Things went silent, and then, suddenly, they charged. Fenrir, unfortunately, was just a bit quicker, being a werewolf and all.Fenrir, leaped into the air as Patrick swung low, kicking off his head with a claw that nearly blinded patrick by taking out his eye, and landing behind him just as the hammer swung into the backswing, slamming into fenrir's arm as he blocked. Fenrir then faked going up again, but as our big lad began to swing again, Fenrir feinted, grabbed him by the waist, and drove his snout into his ribcage. There was a gurgle, as Fenrir's snout pierced blood and bone. Patrick began to fall, but, stamping one more time on the ground to steady himself, he lifted the wolf of Darkness into a reverse throw, landed it, and brought the hammer down on Fenrir's head. Then he collapsed.
>>97031387Godspeed Patrick, you earned your place in Valhalla. Anyone up for screencapping this when it's all done?
>>97031387As the werewolves routed with their leader dead, our troops ran after them or went to help the other parts of the line, Lupin ran after the retreating wolves, hopefully to kill a few more, before stopping as he heard Patrick laugh. He rushed over and grabbed him to take him back to our medical camp. He rushed past men yelling that a giant metal monstrosity was on the way, running past a tank as it rushed to defend the other line, running to the Weasleys to maybe get him help. He was rushed to the main med wing just as an explosion occurred outside. He he'd deal with it later. Now he had to get this man aid, some medical supplies, anything. He placed him on a bed, and ran for Madame Pomphrey or Ms. Weasley.Patrick laid on a bed of straw, smiling at the ceiling as things got blurry. He'd done a lot today. He remembered a few things, and was sober for once. He smiled. There was something he was forgetting, something important. It didn't seem to matter now with blood seeping from the wounds in his waist and the big hole in his chest. Then he saw the nice lady that had kept him from drinking more. She looked at him, somberly, and shook her head at the now untransformed Lupin. Lupin knelt down, and spoke.>Do you remember your families names? Should I try and find them?Patrick tried to remember, to think of a face, a name, a home. He saw swirls, small ones and big ones, then finally, one thing stood out to him.>Anna, her name was Anna. He croaked out between bloody coughs, the wound in his chest growing darker as the werewolf curses took their toll.>Hey lookz at dat, you'z got three people to care for, don't go dyin on me.Patrick laughed again, as Lupin asked him if he at least remembered anything else to help him find his family.>Sorryz.>Havin a hard time rememberanPatrick Higglesworth smiled one more time, then went still. Lupin closed his eyes, and sat with the dead man for a little longer before returning to the fray.
>>97031581RIP. He was a good one.
>>97030078>rushedThe thread is dying and your story isn't done. I don't think "rushed" is the word.
>>97031581Meanwhile in the chamber of secrets, things were still going rather poorly. We were holding our ground at least on the soldier to soldier part, we'd picked our volunteers well as each of them gave as much as they got, killing most of the honor guard with surprising ease, it was more the giant snake and big ass not!Chaos Warrior who was giving us trouble. Eventually, Gambian told anyone left to kill the honor guards or the damn snake and let them handle the big guy, seeing as every time someone tried to help, they got cut in half in an instant. Of course along with that came the issue of actually surviving the giant 6 armed basilisk, but that was helped by the 3 wizards throwing hex after hex at it. Neville kept the thing busy and the rest of troops laid into it. Unfortunately, this also left Sharp pretty much alone with the big armored bastard, who was starting to feel very familiar. The fight went on for a while longer, lucky parries and thrusts kept Sharp alive while Gambian kept him buffed and threw spells at the big guy to keep him unsteady. Not that it mattered, no amount of sword strikes seemed to pierce the armor, and we were beginning to suspect the bastard was like the flesh monsters we'd seen above, and his armor was literally welded to him. This left Sharp with very few options. Then the big bastard decided to stop playing around and moved with unnatural swiftness, cutting Sharp's arm clean off. In another instant, he had kicked Gambian in the head, leaving Sharp on his own down an arm. Shit was bad. Then he fucking monologued at Sharp.
>>97036878See instead of finishing us off and helping his master, he decided to go on and on about how Sharp had failed, he had left behind so many dead and dying and now he would die to his mighty blade, his powerful axe. He was so weak and foolish, so naive blah blah blah. He seemed to really personally hate us, but especially Sharp for some reason. Then he said something about being left to die in a mansion of madness and Sharp just asked him what he was talking about. The giant stopped, then dropped his axe. "Perhaps I should show you... the face of your end..."Removing his helmet revealed a younger man with blond hair and blue eyes, a beard glistening with fake light as he let his hair move in the wind somehow. He looked American. Anyone else would have noticed this might have been our first PC death, an Andrew Jones, who supposedly died in an explosion but really had just been recruited after we'd rightfully left him for dead. He thought different clearly, as he asked what Sharp thought. To which he got the reply of,>I'm sorry I still have no bloody idea who the fuck you are, why should I care, you cut my fucking arm off.This apparently stunned the vengeful bastard so much he didn't even bother blinking right as Sharp got the flashbang pin free and threw it directly into his fat stupid face.
>>97036921The flashbang did two things, One, it straight up blinded that dude for life given how close he was to the blast, and two, it kept him from keeping his helmet on. This let Sharp do what he did best, namely shoot the bastard. Given he had only one hand though, he decided on an alternate approach. He ran up, held his gun right in the bastards face as he was rolling on the ground screaming in rage, and gave him a full frontal facial of gunpowder and musketball. The golfball sized hole in his head got bigger when Sharp drew his pistols one at a time and shot him the exact same way twice. With that, he dropped to his knees as the adrenaline wore off, and collapsed. Gambian finally got over his armor-inflicted concussion and rushed to give medical aid, along with Pyotor who had just been fucking hiding in the back I guess. Gutless bastard.He actually had the nerve to ask if he'd let him cut his arm off so he'd drop his guard. Sharp told him to stop being a bloody idiot and just fix his fucking arm the fight wasn't over. Attaching his arm took time they didn't have, so while Pyotor went to work applying some cream we'd gotten Gambian went to go help with the basilisk. He nearly bit it within a few seconds when he got hit right in the stomach by a tail swing. At least he tried.
More. MORE!
>>97037430See the problem with fighting a giant snake is that they can kinda just swing wherever they want. The only people who'd gotten out somewhat undamaged were the more armored troops, and also Neville but we chalked that up to him being ultra focused for some reason, but anyone who even tried to stab at the basilisk kept getting knocked around or stabbed, and then there was Voldemort just slinging spells around. We were honestly happy we hadn't been hit by any stray spell. Ron had gotten his limbs locked, Hermione had gotten knocked unconscious, and only Amy was really up casting spells. If they went down, that was probably it, seeing as we were kinda low on spell casters now. Thankfully, there was an alternate option, which was just fucking killing the snake, which was what we tasked Pyotor with doing, namely by firing a shot at to distract it. We'd learned from his shooting skills he was a fucking abysmal shot, so we just hoped he'd distract it long enough to buck Voldemort or something to get Ron unfrozen or something. Then he actually hit a shot for once, and hit the Basilisk in the eye. It screamed, and began to twist and turn, just enough that Neville was finally able to get a slice into it's neck instead of just dodging. Apparently, 10 rounds of getting poked at by greatswords, halberds, and a magic sword was enough to get the thing to finally die. Voldemort let out a scream as he too was crushed by the thing. Our men celebrated, clearly elated by the fact that we'd managed to kill the dark lord, but we were kinda let down by the fact our leader was missing an arm, and probably needed an actual healer to get through the day given that Pyotor managed to cock up 90% of his rolls. Oh, and Potter was dead. Shit. Before we could take stock though, Nagani's corpse exploded into a fountain of gore. Anyone still standing was suddenly not, and Voldemort showed himself by blasting at least three more of our living soldiers into dust. Fuck.
>>97038042We were just about fucking done with his shit at this point, with Gambian rising from a pile of bones trying to get some shots off, while the rest of our lads rushed him. Voldemort screamed in rage and a blast of magic knocked everyone around him either unconscious or just straight up killed the more wounded ones. Neville managed to avoid the worst of it, but went limp as he hit a wall from the blast. Now it was only Amy, Gambian, Pyotor, and an armless Sharp left to fight the bastard. We did our best to either shoot him, stab him, or just get that fucking wand off him, but to no avail. Looking far more skeletal than before, and now leaking green magic from every open hole in his body, he screamed again and blasted everyone with magic. Pyotor was lucky enough to dodge, but Gambian and Amy just blocked, which as it turns out was a mistake. They instantly fell to the ground, both screaming incoherently as their heads seemed to burst with magical pain, incapacitated. Sharp managed to get a few meager shots off with the pistol he had left, but at this point, Voldemort was just dodging. He walked closer, glowing greener every second, standing before sharp with a discarded sword in hand. Pyotor hid behind a pile, and waited for Voldemort to do something stupid, like monologue again. He did, but not before making sure the person in front of him actually couldn't kill him. He stabbed Sharp directly in the stomach, pinning him to the ground. He then spoke to him, in a voice seemingly made of velvet, of how Sharp was a wonderful opponent, and soon, he would make a wonderful bodyguard. An unkillable undead who would lead his new legions of the shambling kingdom, a never ending horde of men made into bone and rotting meat. They had failed him, he said, all the pureblooded nonsense. Now all would die, and be a part of his new wonderful legions. He left Sharp pinned, then raised his wand. Pyotor charged him, then the room flashed white.
>>97038120Did snake fucker turn into British Nagash?
>>97038120See this whole time, we'd been operating under the procedure that Potter was just fucking dead. Turns out he was a massive coward, and had cost so many people their lives just so he could fucking kill steal. He appeared out of nowhere, right in front of Sharp, and blasted Voldemort with magic. The wands flashed colors unlike any we'd ever seen, and their magic clashed in waves. Pyotor couldn't even get close, and then finally, the beams began to push Voldemort back. Then, Neville finally got back up. He limped over to the magical duel, and finally, we had Voldemort Pinned. He couldn't stop casting the spell, he couldn't just turn and kill the two bastards behind him, and he couldn't finish his divinity without more magic. He finally decided that enough was enough, and deflected the two spells, blasting into the ceiling. He dodged Pyotor's clumsy strike with a club, but Neville caught him. As the sword of Gryffindor sang, Voldemort lost his hand. On said hand, was a ring that had the symbol of Slytherin, his true final horcrux. It burst to dust as he screamed, and then Potter finally got off his disarm charm. We closed in for the kill as he let off one final stream of magic. Then the true kill steal came in as Sharp threw his last dagger at the bastards head. Voldemort's magic left his body with a final scream, and then he collapsed. Those alive collapsed in relief. We'd won.
>>97038130It wouldn't let me upload a picture but yeah basically. Our Dm gave up on subtly when he turned the funny snake into a fucking zelda boss.
>>97038182Funny snake that used to be a chick according to fantastic beasts.
>>97038179Sharp Dickenson breathed heavy as he lay on the ground, a magic sword stuck in his chest. He felt it's coldness seep into him as blood flowed openly from the wound on his arm and his chest. He saw Potter look at him mournfully, looking at a rock in his hand as his breathing got harder and harder. Pyotor was trying desperately to stabilize him, tying off bandages at his arm and trying to get our remaining wizards to get up and help him. Potter held out the stone, but Sharp shook his head. "That's how your alive innit, keep it, I'll sleep this off boy." Sharp coughed again. Pyotor told him to shut up he was wasting precious breath. Sharp gave him a knowing look. He was pretty sure he wasn't making this out. He stared at the ceiling. He'd kept them alive, he'd kept his mission. He'd done everything he could to keep the school safe. Sharp Dickenson breathed again as the wizards and men he saved began to crowd around him. He smiled, and reached out a hand to Potter. He took it in solidarity. "Make it count Potter." Sharp whispered. He let himself begin to drift, to sleep and dream. He saw a white room, a long hallway that eventually began to look like a train station. He picked up a bag he didn't even know he'd had, and began to walk to his fellows. Two figures appeared before him, a large fellow laughing like a viking, and a portly man waving him over. He began to walk, but found himself slowing down... and then he woke on a white sheeted bed, with Madame Pomphrey standing over him. "What, you seriously thought I was going to let the hero of Hogwarts die? I think not."Sharp was quite disappointed when he discovered he'd been hit with at least 15 casts of Vulnera Sanentur by our female wizard friend, who was rather desperate to keep him alive. He felt like he'd made a fool of himself with that showing of acting noble on his deathbed. We eventually made him realize it was for the best.
>>97038241Hell yeah, Sharpe made it! And fuck, Sharpe got cockblocked from his eternal reward
