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>The.Coffee.Table.2022.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BYNDR
>The.Coffee.Table.2022.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BYNDR
>The.Coffee.Table.2022.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BYNDR
>The.Coffee.Table.2022.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BYNDR
>The.Coffee.Table.2022.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BYNDR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_bkgfaPEzs

>Jesús and Maria love each other, endlessly, magnificently, even though they sometimes just don't notice. But hey, now that their little lump of love is born, everything's going to work out. Sure, Maria still has a bit of a North-Korean streak in handling the household, calling all the shots when it comes to the color of their apartment walls, the name of the baby, the food they eat, the TV shows they watch, the thickness of the toilet paper and their holiday destination. Jesús, to prove to her and himself he ain't some spineless trilobite but that he has a will of his own, gets to pick the coffee table. Halleluiah! A hard-won victory that he's cherishing by picking out the most aggressively ugly little thing imaginable, the furniture equivalent of Liberace getting lost in Ikea. An unbreakable wonder, says the salesman. Overpriced, says Maria. It will bring boundless happiness to their lives, says the salesman. Their worst nightmare, says us....

HOW WILL THE COFFEE TABLE RUIN THEIR LIVES????

THIS MOVIE IS SUPPOSEDLY ONE OF THE MOST HORRIFYING MOVIES OF 2023 AND IT JUST GOT A DIGITAL RELEASE IN THE US.

DOWNLOAD NOW FOR VOD TUESDAY!
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>>199160894
YESSS. I've been waiting for this to leak for ages.
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>>199160894
I watched this yesterday what a cohencidence.
>>
UAU, I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO WATCH THIS SATANISTIC EXCREMENT ON MY 32K SCREEN @120FPS, 240HZ REFRESH RATE!
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>>199162142
yay
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>>199160956
this has been online for like a week. i keep seeing it in the place i use but it sounded completely retarded so i never watched it, and never will
>>
this is the most intense movie I've watched in years, I truly don't know how I'd react in the situation it stressed me out thinking about it
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>>199163768
>but it sounded completely retarded so i never watched it, and never will
close minded retard
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>>199160956
me too
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How is this labeled as a black comedy
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Every Spanish horror movie I've watched uses kids dying violent deaths for shock value.
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>>199167095
You aren't wrong.
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>>199160894
The coffee... is hecking HOT????


AHHHHHHHHH THIS IS ANIGHTMARE FROM HELL
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>>199160894
I heard the sequel will involve a book about coffee tables, that also becomes a coffee table
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>tots sofas
it's actually a catalan horror
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>>199160894
As Jesús builds the coffee table in their apartment, he is visited by their next-door neighbor, a teenager named Ruth who continuously threatens to frame Jesús for pedophilia as he rebuffs her advances. Jesús notices a screw is missing from the table and calls Cayetano to ask for another screw; in the meantime, he places the glass pane right-side-up. María leaves to get groceries in preparation for the visit of Jesús' brother Carlos and his wife Christina, leaving Jesús alone with Cayetanín. Jesús tries to get Cayetanín to stop crying and in the process he accidentally falls onto the glass pane which, despite Cayetano's promise, breaks and decapitates the baby.
In shock, Jesús sits still while staring at his child's corpse before beginning to clean up the apartment; he places the headless body in his crib but is too scared to pick up the severed head which is underneath a chair. He borrows bleach from Ruth, who is suspicious. Jesús is still in shock when María arrives but repeatedly manages to prevent her from coming in contact with Cayetanín. The two get ready for the guests and during the dinner with them, Jesús is very erratic and doesn't answer questions. Christina reveals that she is pregnant and Carlos wants the child to be friends with Cayetanín.
Jesús leaves to record a confession to María, which Carlos overhears. The two plan to tell María the truth and as they head out, Ruth arrives with her dog. As they try to tell María what happened, the dog sniffs out the baby's severed head which causes Jesús to go catatonic, Christina to vomit, and Ruth to start screaming. María takes the baby's head in her hands and opens the door to the balcony.
Some time later, police officers gather outside the apartment where it's stated that both Jesús and María had committed suicide by jumping from the balcony. Carlos sits nearby, only being able to utter the phrase, "The Coffee Table".
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>>199167604
That sounds horrible. Why would anyone want to watch that?
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>>199167871
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>>199167604
Only degenerate nihilistic spaniard cucks could come up with this repugnant drivel
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This film felt like a dark comedy. IDK if that was the intention but I'd recommend it on that basis
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>>199168377
It’s like Uncut Gems
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>>199168377
gonna watch this now
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>>199167604
lol
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>>199160894
i hate babys crying so that didnt last long.
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being a father of 2 kids i have moved away from anything depicting child deaths
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>>199170907
do yourself a favor and move away from 4chinz too
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>>199171023
cant do brother, i have been here since 2004 and i will stay here until one of us dies
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>>199170842
neither did the baby
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Why don't they sue the manufacturer for false advertising and making a defective product?
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>>199171183
made in CHYNA
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>>199167141
Love that film.
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>>199171047
you or the baby?
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>>199173203
me or 4chan
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>>199170907
I feel you fellow dadanon. They hit a bit harder these days.
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>>199165531
>if you don't watch a movie about a baby getting decapitated through mundane idiocy your life is not complete
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>>199161212
So what happens
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>>199173278
Same for me, just thinking about it makes me sick.
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>>199160894
>The.Coffee.Table
what an engaging title
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>>199160894
>Honey.I.Decapitated.The.Baby.And.I.don't.Know.How.To.Tell.You.2022.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BYNDR
There.

I just saved you an hour and a half of your life that you wouldn't be able to get back if you had watched it.

You're welcome.
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>>199160894
wanted to watch this, turns out I have to read for 100 minutes. fuck that
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>>199176475
Retard
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>>199160894
Nuke Spain, filthy disgusting country. They can't ever be anything earnest, wholesome or honourable coming from Spain, it always has to be the most vile, twisted and homosexual post-modernist piece of shit ever.
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>>199176475
Same. I only watch foreign films if they’re English dubbed.
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>>199175893
thanks
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>>199160894
Is this recommendation as good as freddy got fingered?
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>>199177247
Yes
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>>199167604
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>>199160894
wow another film im not going to watch
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>>199160894
I finished watching this movie, and seeing the garbage comments in this thread made me realize /tv/ only cares for media if it's in the context of culture wars.
I sure hope every single one of you fuckers find a hobby cause you all suck.
the movie is good btw.
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>>199181181
Embarrassing post.
>>
>>199181181
This is pretty good pasta.



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