Notch is rolling over in his grave.
minecraft if he real
>>687758357jason mimosa looks like his ready to groom
>>687758357All that has been done on earth against ‘the nobles,’ the ‘mighty,’ the ‘overlords’ is as nothing compared to what the Jews did against them: the Jews, that priestly people who were only able to obtain satisfaction against their enemies and conquerors through a radical revaluation of the latter’s values, that is, by an act of the most spiritual revenge. It was the Jews who dared to invert the aristocratic value-equation saying ‘the wretched alone are the good ones, the poor, the helpless, the lowly. You who are powerful and noble are to all eternity the evil ones.’
>cashed out rolling around on his stash more like
>>687758357>white passing jewish boy>white looking girl>emasculated adult male>sassy fat African-American womanSubversive.
Has Notch mentioned anything about Minecraft post buyout. The only time I’ve seen him mentioned are troons trooning out over that one dev who made the shittiest song of the game
>>687758726grooming snood <3
>>687758357crying while furiously masturbating for the fifth time today just to feel something again more like
>Your father, herobrine.>He was a cunning crafter, and he was a good friend.>*dies*
>>687758357Looks like average Minecraft players to me
how many giant dicks and swastikas are they going to build?
Who is Notch?
>>687760498Steve's brother who died in Minecraft Part 2
I'm done with Jack Black in video game adaptions
>>687760603Do you think they'll bring him up in the movie?
>>687758972The director of this movie is Mormon.
It will sell billions still just because it has the autistic game's title for kids with autism and manchildren.
This is gonna fail as hard as Borderlands did.
how many more years until y'all accept that black people exist
>the pigmen aren't immediately turning into zombie pigmen when they are in the overworld>they came into minecraft through a nether portal that is blue>They crafted something on the table that isn't a real recipe>the young boy is the only one with a realistic outfit>the birch tree is designed off of a modded treeWere the pigmen really meant to be the main antagonist?I thought they were just gold loving society in hell, just a more judgemental version of VillagersZombies, Skeletons, and spiders don't seem capable being evil, just nature controlling their actionsEnder man are just offended from direct eye contact, otherwise they are passive.... and i guess the end dragon is never outside the end.Pillagers were too on the nose, perhaps.They had to make the White pig merchants evil?Jack black is clearly taking plenty of video game main character roles, its not his fault it isn't bad, but minecraft's audience is much more autistic than Borderlands and mario's fans.
Back in my day you won Minecraft by finding diamonds and hitting bedrock.
>>687760290Rumors are, that to save time they are going to build giant dick swastikas.
>>687760498Steve notch. The inventor of John Minecraft.
>>687760742its rude to dig up corpses.
>>687758357>made lego for adults>sold it for a billion dollars>can do whatever he wantsi'm jealous as fuck of that fat fedora tipper>b-but he's lonely :(so are the rest of us but we're still poor as fuck
>>687761006even if this is shit, it will probably a box office success since kids are gonna be watching it
>>687760728I liked him as Bowser. Mostly because he found the right mix between mennising and goofy. But that should have been it.
>>687758357>western isekai
remember all the times they tried to make a the sims movie. or the rumored metroid movie. but they can pump out angry birds and the mario movie.also this is just concord distraction tactics
>>687761395the west as been doing this shit for years, neverending story, beastmaster 2, he-man. ect
>>687759564i get where you're coming from but come on, that's a disservice to Alec Guinness
>>687758357Good. Fuck notch, as well as the soulless corps who made this.
>Nazi Notch is more progressive than his political incorrect fanbase OH NONONONONONO CHUDBROS... WERE WE MISLED.
>>687761552>>also this is just concord distraction tactics>the microsoft ip movie trailer was released to distract from the sony ip flopyou're retarded
>>687761876>cant tell who is what genderis he retarded? oh wait its twitter
>>687758357>Notch is rolling over in his grave.Laughing into his piles of money*
>>687761876Notch was always woke:>Minecraft releases with a very distinctive "ooo" sound when Steve take damage>Minecraft changed the sound in 2011 to be inclusive>Notch sold Minecraft for 2.5 billion in 2014.He's Swedish, it's to be expected.
>>687758357Some say Notch is still alive
>>687761378>mennising
>>687761876He's having the right opinion right thereWho cares man
>>687760980unrelated to the thread or even your post but wtf kind of surname is Kszczot, are pollacks ok?
>>687761552Remember the video game The Movies?
>>687758357noth probably doesnt give a fuck, he is too busy being filthy rich
>>687758357>Borderlands>thisVideogames movies are starting to be really ass again.Nature is healing
>>687758357AW HELL NAW!
>>687758357They really go out of their way to pick the ugliest niggers possible. A tranny-looking eddheaded lardass.
>>687758357Live from his grave.
>>687762896Was there ever really a moment where video games movies were great?
>>687759157>subversionat this point it's lack of creativity. this is the 9999th time we've seen these archetypes. they're the bald millitary dude of movies and uh, games.
>>687761050How long does a prefrontal cortex development take to evolve
Does anyone here still play Minecraft unironically?Also I believe the entire demographic has changed for the game. Pre 2013 it was a Lego creative game with awesome exploration. Make a new world, make some cliff side city in the side of a hallowed out cliff with a water elevator with your bros. It was about nerds having a journey. That's why Shadow of Israfel from the Yogscast was so popular.Modern Minecraft is an e sports today. It's not about having fun with your bros and feeling great about the base you built, it's about min/max RPG elements to defeat the ender dragon. All YouTube Minecraft videos are zoomers screaming at screens doing Minecraft hunger games challenges and such.Like I still have an alpha account but I have zero desire to play because it's just a different game and vibe.
>>687763078Glad someone else said it. I've been noticing this and it's confusing.There are beautiful black women out there but they never get picked.It's always some ghetto fat bitch who can't act. Why?
>>687763087For a while adaptations were okay.People said "x broke the videogame adaptation" curse" almost every other month.
>>687761006theyve probably cheaped out on everything except jack black. looking at it i wouldn't be surprised if they literally used AI to speed up the animating process
>>687758357Reddit Legionaries arriving to Ukraine
>>687763147you can still do that, who cares what "content creators" are doing. really you just grew up, it's the same reason you don't play with lego any more
>>687758357Ah yes, the classic Minecraft demographic: middle aged black women.
>>687762720it makes sense in their hieroglyphics.
oh my h*ckin Science the diverse cast is just everything. yaaaaaasssssss
>>687763147>reddit spacing go back
>>687763147>oh hey new snapshot or big update lets play guys!>2 friends stop after 1 day>rest stop after 4 days>6 months of not playing>oh hey new snapshot or big update lets play guys!
>>687758357like brooks. like mimosa. simple as.
Why are all trailers basically the same?>obnoxiously loud "epic" music>sudden stop of said music for some """funny""" oneliner>music starts again>depending on the genre/audience some goofy ass shit like the sheep scene at the end of the minecraft trailerArent they getting tired from reusing the same style for every single big movie every single fucking time?
>>687761876minecraft has lore?and isn't steve ambiguously brown anyways
This is pathetic, it's not only ugly, it's gay.
Damn /v/ gonna shill this hard
>>687764249Formulas work, and no way in hell would anyone care enough to do anything risky for a cashgrab kids movie
>>687758357how did notch manage to make the best selling vidya of all time and become a billionare with one of the most expensive houses in the world, but never managed to get over social anxiety, to lose weight, or to get a hot gf? What happened bros
>>687764249be grateful for the things they stopped doing.don't make me bring back the inception BRAAAAMMMM noise, bucko
>>687764249They do what works. This happens with everything, not just trailers. Take a look at the movies themselves. Do you even realize how many times you've seen Avengers? It's different people, different settings, sure, but it's just Avengers over and over again. Has been for a while. Avengers just came out again recently, they were calling it Deadpool & Wolverine. It's coming out again soon, this time they'll call it Red One.
>>687764797If you were a billionaire why would you care about improving yourself when you can afford to fuck a different 10/10 supermodel escort every night?
>>687759564I hate his pretentious acting so much
>>687764797how the fuck is being distanced from 99.999% of humans going to help you with any of that?the first thing notch did was throw a huge party and he hated it
>>687764249THIS SUMMER
>>687760856Mormons are spiritually adjacent to kikes.>Secretive religion>Very rapey towards young children>Immense amounts of wealth they use to silence critics.The Mormon cult gets the rope too.
>>687761050
>>687758357Good, he deserves to have his IP ruined.
>>687758357This is the worst thing I've seen since Concord.
>>687764249IN A WORLD
>>687762896They need to go back to being so bad that they're actually kino.
i think every single poster in this thread deserves to die.
>>687763086>if notch wasn't toxic he had a cameoDodged a huge bullet
>>687763147It's because all the mechanics are shallow and completely isolated from eachother.You also have no reason to build because there are few functional structures and night isn't very dangerous anymore,>>687764828You could hear it, it was just very subtle.
>>687759157>white passing
>>687765586literally anyone who doesn't use 4chan would call that kid white
>>687764249>obnoxiously loud "epic" musicThe last time I went to a movie theater (which was almost a decade ago) the audio volume of the trailers was so high that it physically hurt to listen to them. They turn the volume up in them like 10x higher than the movie now to get your attention, but all it does is make you hate everything they're showing you.
>>687758357while this looks like absolute dinsney kids' channel garbage, you all know full well this shit is gonna make 1b+ dollars because all the braindead zoomers and alphas are going to watch it
>>687758357
>>687761395I am so fucking tired of this shit>"le group of people are transported into a weird magical place and have to fight local evil menace to get back home"It's such an easy cop out so you don't actually have to make believable characters that would exist in said universe. It was shit in the monster hunter movie and it's shit there, the movie should also have been 100% animated
>>687763147what's even wrong with the second screenshot? You got a huge mountain and some waterfalls, a bigass cave on the left as well, looks neat
>>687758357>>687763147Are you ready to realise what truly "ruined" minecraft?Sprinting.Before sprinting you couldn't outrun any enemies, hence why night time was so dangerous and it was completely necessary to build a shelter. If you didn't hide from enemies, you were completely fucked. Skeletons could keep up with you, zombies would cut you off, creepers kept up with you, and spiders were FASTER THAN YOU (!!!!). There's no longer any common enemies who can outpace you in modern minecraft, because you can now outrun absolutely every enemy in the game. Sprinting also forces you to look in one single direction as you travel, you can't walk around enjoying the atmosphere or admiring the scenery, or looking over your shoulder. You end up sprinting everywhere, going from point A to B, through a flat biome designed for you to sprint across. I believe this is the reason why modern minecraft feels so soulless. This combined with the ability to max out gamma and make night time as bright as day time.OLD MINECRAFT>night is falling>i need a safe shelter to hide in at night>if I need to travel outside, I need good weapons, food to heal with, and armour or I dont stand a chance>i need sources of light in order to prevent enemies from spawning, but mainly so I can see them while I'm fighting>i need to avoid getting cornered by worldgen, I may wander into a mountainous dead endNEW MINECRAFT>night is falling>i need a bunch of food so I can sprint around at night and avoid enemies as they spawn>i do not need torches, I'll just turn gamma to 100% and see clearly>i can simply outrun every enemy without running into more danger or getting cornered, world gen has accounted for sprinting and there are few, if any, places I could get cornered
looks fine i guess.
>>687765162SEXOOOOOOOOOO
>>687758357I don't think this is what minecraft late millenials and zoomers wanted to watch
>>687762720Pole here This name is ridiculous even by our standards
>>687758357Notch isn't dead though. He's just rolling around on his sofa I guess.
>>687758357>>687759157Concordcraft
>>687760728Why were you ever into it? Guy’s an insufferable kike
I'm not paying for it but I'll watch it for she.
>>687759157Don't you forget (((STEVE)))
>>687758357Why do you need three adult main characters in a Minecraft move?
>>687766512this, most polacks are named Kowalski
>>687761368Are kids even still into minecraft? I think they are, but I'm so disconnected.
>>687766315god you’re just like the bungie halo fanboys. you hate sprint because you, yourself, can’t sprint.
>>687764249We need to bring back a better era of trailers. Bring back the Zardoz standard.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=198AApQ9Abo
>>687758357>NotchDid he really create minecraft alone?
>>687763135>they're the bald millitary dude of movies and uh, games.Yep turns out leftists/SJW's end up oversaturating their desired design/character tropes too
>>687766687why do minecraft discord servers full of children need adult moderators? chud.
>>687758357>>687761876>>687766664bros I want to fuck snood so fucking bad
>>687766290He doesn't like the image on the right because the one the left looks more like his homeland of China.
>Steve is already a swarthy med man>Whatever the fuck the female PC's name is is an irishwoman with fucking ginger hair>NO, this still isn't diverse enoughAlso holy fuck did they just niggerfy another ginger? Kek
>>687760498notch these ballz
>>687761876>it's not happening>it's only happening in a side thing so it doesn't matter (you are here)>it's happening in the main game but it's just an option, you don't have to choose it>it's no longer optional>making a mod that changes things back to the way they were is absolutely forbidden and will result in your money being stolen>if you don't like it then don't play - wait where are you going
even reddit hates it
>>687762173He's right though. All of these actors look naturally androgynous and the only one that doesn't (the fat indian) is purposely dressed up to make him look more androgynous.
>>687764360Steve is like Jesus Christ of video games. Now sure Jesus was a brown jew, and Steve is a brown man according to his character model compared to alex, but.... but they are white in america where it matters!
>>687758357I want to smooch snood on the mouth
>>687764249https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKQi3bBA1y8I want to go back
>>687758357So it'll probably do fine since kids are dumb as fuck and want to see anything Minecraft. But Jesus CHRIST I pray for any adult forced to watch this
>>687766963So much for that bottomless pit of leftist creativity.
Will he make an appearance?https://youtu.be/zwUeHCe0PW0?feature=shared
>>687767085Hey pal we don't lood the snood here
>>687758357Why is every movie adaptation that isn't based on a book, is an isekai?
>>687768054My mum sat with me for Pokemon the movie.Least then I wanted to watch it cause the show looked like the movie.We'll find out if it appeals to them.
>>687759069If any ip would be easy to not see as "my baby" it would be a procedurally generated storyless sandbox(mc is great not hating at all). He made it and gives zero fucks I imagine.
>>687767584only difference is, if the movie turns out to actually be good /v/'ll still hate it to death.
>>687761876>Can't tell what gender everyone is.Please tell me this is bait.
>>687766315just unbind sprint
>>687768484We actually had fun with the FNAF movie
>>687766290People with autism cannot tolerate change, it's one of their triggers. Even if things are objectively better, things must not change.
>>687768665How can you not?The moment the Jim Henson company were on board for the puppetry work I knew they actually gave a shit where it mattered.
prediction: the movie will be just okay. it won't be offensively bad, but it won't be anything to write home about either. the worst thing you'll be able to say about it is that it's generic.
>>687768086At least if centrist/rightist ideology was dominant instead of california leftism in vidya industry right now we'd have actual attractive black women in western vidya, instead of just that one actress cloned 49282 times
>>687764986Whenever I see this fatso I assume cheap comedy will follow. Fuck, even when I was watching King Kong, I was fully expecting his character to quip/fart/make le funny face in a random scene.
Why is it always piglin as the main enemy in every single spinoff it's so goddamn uninspired. Why can't we get more shit like the wither storm which is actually pretty fucking cool
>>687760856based. might actually be good.
I feel euphoric
GOOD MOOOOOOOORNING /v/ Just wanted to remind you that Steve (yes, THE Steve from Minecraft) is confirmed to star in his own Minecraft movie played by famous actor Jack Black. Make sure to save money for the movie premiere so you can see Steve's time to shine!
>>687762720Look at the last name on that list, is the pic even real?
>>687758357WTF why is Steve working with an enderman?
>>687758357jannies working overtime deleting all the threads
>>687758357why do the boy and the girl look so weirdIt's like they aren't healthy or something idk I can't tellTheir faces are just fucked up
>>687771665they're gen z
>>687761876>Can't tell what gender everyone is.this is the endgame for all rightoid incels. they've secretly consumed so much tranny porn that they can no longer tell sexual characteristics apart.many such cases
>>687761153>swasdickasKino.
Nobody cares about thisWhy are you pretending to care about this
>>687771594>smash>wukong>concord shutting downthat's coo', 60 active threads at a time is ok>minecraft (videogame) movieSHUT THE FUCK UP NO THREADS ALLOWED
>>687771665Snood is cute
>>687761876>nazi notchI know you are just (you) harvesting but the left are the ones who made Notch into a 'nazi', he was always a moderate cuck who turned on the Leftoids after they kept fucking with him.
>>687771665They got vaxxed
>>687763147i've recently picked it up and am playing coop with a friend. it's ridiculously comfy if you just add vanilla+ mods to add gear, monsters, quests, structures, etc, without any of the industry bullshit all of these ridiculous grindyass mods have
>>687758357kek, is it worth it Jason?
>>687763147>Does anyone here still play Minecraft unironically?>playing a game ironically
>>687770208Id really prefer if youd be quiet
>>687772285You could ask the same thing about all the concord and dustborn threads.
>>687770208think of the target demographics and market reach studies anonwe can't risk lowering our profit margins with anything too creat*ve
>>687758357Of course. The sassy fat black woman defeats the Ender Dragon and saves the whiteys while snapping her fingers furiously.Bravo Warner Bros.
>>687762768this game rocks
>>687769208yeah, but he was actually good in King Konghe can be good when he wants to, be he typecasts himself into this shit persona
>>687760856So, he's Christian? As in the most Jewish religion ever?
>>687773113this.. It's sad because he can act but this "le funny reddit man!" is basically his flanderizationat this point in every movie
>>687761876belive it or not notch was against the gamergate era of 4chan, only after he got his riches did he slightly turn alt, he is Swedish after all
>>687767584>locked discussion L M @ O
>>687758357This looks like prime goyslop methinks
>>687773157if this is a joke, then legitimately good one anon. if it isn't, then that's funny for an entirely different reason.
>>687758357I love how they put this fat, comically out of place shaneequa in this and everyone's supposed to just go along with it. This is some Emperor's New Clothes shit.
>>687758357Do you guys think Notch is getting a % cut for this movie?If no, is he even going to get named as "original creator" in the credits
>>687774026>All that has been done on earth against ‘the nobles,’ the ‘mighty,’ the ‘overlords’ is as nothing compared to what the Jews did against them: the Jews, that priestly people who were only able to obtain satisfaction against their enemies and conquerors through a radical revaluation of the latter’s values, that is, by an act of the most spiritual revenge. It was the Jews who dared to invert the aristocratic value-equation saying ‘the wretched alone are the good ones, the poor, the helpless, the lowly. You who are powerful and noble are to all eternity the evil ones.’Does this sound familiar to you? Maybe like a certain religion created by a Jew where God washes lepers' feet and says it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven?
>>687774284he isnt named as creator in his own game. what do u think?
>>687758357Snood is so cute
>>687774284He doesn't own it, the fact that he created it is irrelevant
>men int heir mid-30s getting angry over a movie for children based on a game primarily popular with childrenget a real doll u fucking weirdos
>>687774502sorry, i'm really tired right now, could you please explain in simple words how christianity is more jewish than judiasm?
I like Jack Black, but he needs to fuck off and stop being in every single movie.
>>687769172But anon, all REAL women are unfuckably ugly and morbidly obese. Disagreeing with me means you're a permavirgin racist incel chud, because I'm literally incapable of imagining why anyone outside of my imagined strawman would dissagree with me.
I really don’t see how this would appeal to children, the environments are fine I guess but the mobs look really uncanny
>>687758682This made by jews for jews, and no one else.
>>687760856Okay but who finances it? Director is just an employee, who is the one in charge?
>>687775221Judaism was a trad religion with laws and a priestly class that didn't subvert the order of nobility>commoners. Christianity was a radical religion that inverted the pyramid and made the lowly into objects of worship.
>>687766851hes right doe>get iron>game beatenits a survival game where you dont try to survive
Wasn't Charlie Day suppose to be in this?
>>687761006funny being that jack black was also in the borderlands movie
>>687764249https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAOdjqyG37A
>>687775350Put him in more stuff
>>687758357looked more like a trailer for Yogsventure then MinecraftIt also looks incredible cheap, like you wouldn't expect it to be based on one of the best selling games of all time.
>>687758357Why didn't they get an Italien to play Steve?
he died?
>>687766121It wouldn't be so bad if they had an ounce of creativity and didn't always go the most predictable route possible. I can tell you exactly what's going to happen in this movie.>Le random normies get transported to Minecraft>"Whoa this is so wacky and weird! How do we even play this game? xD">has children in it so one or both of them will explain how the game works to le stereotypical retarded adults>wacky antics loosely related around the most common and mundane events you can experience in minecraft.>"Don't dig straight down" will be said at least once, may even return as the final epic phrase ("Heh, shouldn't have dug straight down!")>le epic pop culture references (woke of course)>Shebooniqua will have a yas kween moment>Ender Dragon won't be referenced at all because working that into the plot would require more creativity than the DEI writing team has to offer.
>>687760980
>>687760728The last time i liked him was in the rock school movie not sure what it was called
They should have made this fully animated.
>>68777875610/10, spot on
>>687772305>game>game>game>movieit's not hard to not be a retard
SNOOD KISSING A PAJEETSNOOD KISSING A PAJEETSNOOD KISSING A PAJEETTHIS MOVIE STARS A POO BURNER
>>687758357Why did they pick a fat and ugly black girl.
>>687780870>kikifag on /v/Grim
>>687758357What in the actual fuck am I looking at?
>>687780837>can't discuss GAME movie because we need more catalog space for culture wars and numbers>laughing at borderlands movie flopping was ok tho
>>687758357this cant be fucking real
>>687780943To be the scapegoat. If the movie flops, they'll blame its failure on "racist gamers don't want to see a strong independent black KWEEN!"
>>687759069he only got a few million in cash and the rest of the billions in microsoft stock and you can't convert all that to cash easily without paying tax and the retard lives in the highest tax state in the US, especially for captial gains.If he doesn't move from the JEWSA hes gonna have his stock seized by madam president Kamala
>>687758357>Everything is starting to look like a /pol/ parody nowHow much longer until those ridiculous dystopian greentext stories start playing out irl? I can't take this shit anymore.
>>687773303Never go full retard, anon
>>687764360Steve is literally a low poly gta character
>>687758357What's with the homeless man and the welfare hippo?
>>687761050When you post actual blacks and not token placements for rage engagement
>>687781315>he only got a few million in cash and the rest of the billions in microsoft stockIf that's actually true he's mega super rich. Microsoft stock has done a 10x since 2014.
>>687773157>>687774502>>687776823Pagan lies.>And he said unto them, Ye know how that it is an unlawful thing for a man that is a Jew to keep company, or come unto one of another nation; but God hath shewed me that I should not call any man common or unclean. (Acts 10:28 KJV)
>>687758357This is just laughable levels of DEI now. In what scenario would these 4 people be together IRL except maybe an elevator? And they all somehow get transported into Minecraft together? Fuck off.
>>687758357I fucking dare someone to make a movie where the white male isn’t a bitch
>>687765405The Mario movie was unironically great. Can't understand why anyone prefers the new one with no character.
>>687775409Lies! I've seen onlyfans, I want more of that in vidya, thank you east asia
>>687781990The Mario movie was a good kids movie.
IAM SNEED
>>687758357this is ghastly
>>687759564Why is Jack Black desperately latching onto any/all video games adaptation?
>>687758357I thought blacks were like 15% of the population. So why does every piece of media prominently feature a black person now?
>>687758357Is that fucking Jason Momoa?How did he agree to do this shit?Was Aquaman 2 really that bad received that he couldn't find any other job?He is in the same level as Jack Black now, how shameful.
>>687781990only video game film thing I've enjoyed since this trend started.
>>687758972Transaltion: The boot is okay as long as it's not a jew.Fucking muppet.
>>687761378>starts a sentence with “But”
>>687770548Oh son of a bitch not this guy again!
>>687758357for once im sad Jack got roped into this shiet
>>687782328Yes, film industy went from over 700 hundred active projects to just a little over 300, there was a strike by SAG AFTRA, more people got fired, CCP started rejecting american films. Animation industry in shambles, streaming services consolidating and merging. This is what being an actor means in 2024. It means nothing, you are a clown.
>>687782189because he's a fucking wholesome chungus gamer!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNJtPFXUnm4
Holy shit it looks so fucking bad. It's literally one of those greentexts mocking animated movie trailers down to a T. How do you fuck up this badly?
>>687758357it's a movie for 5 year olds about a game for 5 year olds, who cares?
>>687758357Bazzxisters.. we're in.
>>687758357>OW MY DIAMONDS
>>687782646>fuck up>he thinks they don't know what they're doingThey even included the token black to blame the bad reception on. They have shit down to a science now.>Movie/TV show that shouldn't exist based on something popular that you know will be carried by name recognition alone>go the laziest route possible with the least amount of effort>add an unflattering minority for rage engagement and so you can cry racism if it flops
>>687780870SHITTED
>>687758357this looks like one of those old college humor animations
>>687781085it's not real, it's aislop, don't worry about it
>>687758357this perfectly encapsulates the state of video games
Oh no no no noOoohohonononoUuuhhuuuhuhuuuuuuhhhhLook at itOohhhohonononBBBFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAAHHHAHAHAHAOH NONONONONO
>>687758357Seeing this black woman today was the shock of my life.I was so hyped for the Minecraft movie. If I saw a thread about leaks or a news article about the movie, I'd look away immediately. I wanted to go into the movie with an entirely open mind, as pure as an Amish virgin. I wanted everything to be completely new and unspoiled upon seeing its first big trailer.When Brooks first came on screen during the trailer, I let out an audible gasp. My entire family looked at me like I was nuts, but I couldn't help myself. There before me was the most Simian creature I'd ever seen in any Overworld. A dribbling gorilla with huge flaring nostrils and big Nigerian chieftain lips.Oftentimes American shows will soften the blow by casting Billy Dee Williams or Will Smith... but not this time. This time you were forced to feast your eyes on a pure-blooded coal black silverback, blown up to massive size on my 55-inch 4K monitor.I looked around, uncomprehendingly, as the rest of my family seemed to accept this monstrosity as a regular matter of course. Then it occurred to me that I was the only person there who hadn't already read an Internet article teasing her appearance.Little by little, they had been led to accept this by drips and drabs of glowing articles and breathless videos. Their minds had been so softened that they were willing to stare unflinchingly, even giggle and smile as she besmirched my beloved video game.Lots of people debate about the exact moment when Minecraft died. I contend it was when that minstrel-looking sweaty jigaboo appeared on my screen and revealed her Lovecraftian face.
>>687783373give me those mages
>>687763135>at this point it's lack of creativity. this is the 9999th time we've seen these archetypesimagine how to world feels about seeing generic white dudes in everything.
>>687758357>"""plot""" is 4 randos get transported into minecraft because reasons>Steve is literally just Jack Black in a blue shirt, didn't even try to make him look like SteveThey will try to Sharknado this shit to save face, bet money. The trailer is so fucking ridiculous even normies in the comments are shitting on it.
>>687783447my condolences
>>687761876It's not ruining something that already exists, I don't give a fuck. He's right.
What are we supposed to be offended at this time. I can never tell with you chuds
>fat nigger They really can't help themselves can they? Concord was the beginning of the end for wokeslop. Pendulum is swinging back bros. Trust the plan. This is a Chud's world.
>>687784086>What are we supposed to be offended at this time.Having actual standards, but niggercattle like you don't know such thing, so don't worry about it
>>687761876jesus christ the right are such crybabies
>>687758357Who is the twink back there? He is hot.
Snood is literally the only redeeming quality and I would very much enjoy giving her smooches and holding her hands.
>>687766315>Digs 3 blocks down and closes the hole
>>687784261What "standards" did you expect for a minecraft movie. I fail to see anything wrong in what is supposed to be a silly kids movie
>>687780870That bitch seems to appear in every tv show and movie those days. And she never interacts with white people somehow
>>687784425Everyone in the comments is saying that it should have never been live action, nor an isekai. I think those are reasonable standard.
>>687784561Can you tell us what is wrong with what they are doing? Sounds like you just throw a tantrum every time you see a black person
>>687760980>KszczotPolacks let Autechre name their families
>7h since trailer released>trannies already projecting hardAlready at DEFCOPE 1 huh?
>>687784236>Pendulum is swinging back broslollmao even
>>687759225>Has Notch mentioned anything about Minecraft post buyoutHe isn't allowed to or he'll get sued.
>>687758357Why does Jack Black keep showing up in television with this fat black woman?
>>687784703>n-n-n-n-no y-y-you're t-t-t-the o-o-o-one w-who's m-m-m-mad *sniff*So pathetic, I won't even bother with you anymore. Rope, tranny.
>>687760498He runs Kiwifarms
>>687784396God imagine hand holding dates with Snood listening to her excitedly tell you about her stuffed animals
>>687784425>What "standards" did you expect for a minecraft movie.I dunno maybe A CGI. YOU KNOW A STYLE THAT MOST OF MINECRAFT ANIMATIONS HAVE USED?
>>687784425Your retarded post didn't even deserve 3 replies. Kill yourself.
>>687784561No one said that, retard. If a kids movie is good that's great but it doesn't have to be because it's for children. You're a fucking idiot.
>>687758357>turned Paul Rudd into a child>random child actor>Jason is a child predator >cameo by one of the Concord characterswhat the fuck is this?
>>687785359>snood>random
>>687758357Holy shit this look fucking TERRIBLE. Unfortunately it's guaranteed to make a fortune even if it's total shite because Minecraft is huge.
>>687785359>cameo by one of the Concord characterskek
>>687758357Jack Black is looking buff
>>687758357>Name my bandTranny Troon sheboon and the Kikes
>>687758357Will Notch get a cameo? Here's my idea;>Post credits scene>We see Notch in his mansion, bent over at his computer>"...and that... is why... Minecraft the movie...is nothing more than DEI...Woke...Girlboss...Slop.">Smirking, he leans back to admire what he has written only to hear a weird hissing noise>Glances over to see a huge stack of activated TNT blocks about to blow>Exterior shot of Notch's mansion exploding (half the film budget will be spent on this sequence)>Cut to the black lady standing next to a line of active redstone and a lever>She winks at the camera>Fade to black
>>687760856>The director is a moronIt's over.
>>687783648i'm not sure how to world either
>>687779920I think it was called “the kids that played rock at skool” if I remember right
>>687758357MOJANG HIRE THIS MAN
>>687758357Notch is still alive and doesn't care.
>>687781301Good morning sir
>literally any western media>niggers
>>687762896Sonic movie 3 out later this year.
>>687758357rolling in his dosh, most likely
>>687758357why are those three walking around with an enderman?
>>687758357Quintessential Gen Alpha vibes
>>687759286hm?
>>687780870>that poo coomed his underwear in that moment
>>687760980>TevanIs that a darky?
>>687758357THIS CAN'T BE REALJUST CAN'T
>>687780870yea that's pretty disgusting, but it's not from the minecraft children's movie.
>>687758357wtf
> Two actors with good public image> Popular franchiseThis is going to be an overwhelming success, right?
>>687780870
>movie has the most godawful CG imaginable >/v/‘s biggest complaint is that it has niggersNever change /v/eddit
>>687788707snood is the character the bitch in the back played in the Wednesday Adams show.
>>687782368Perchance.
>>687784510>why don't the jews ever write scripts where the pretty white girl interacts with white guys? It's a true mystery.
>>687789597/v isn't so shallow as to care about graphics.
>>687780870It was supposed to be me!
>*smacks lips*>ayo>You tellin me it was dem Villagers and they Iron Golems behind da slavery and not the players?>*proceeds to eat watermelon with minecraft eating noises*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE1U8y7fVfY
>>687789597Seeing niggers in your media isn't normal.
AYO STEVE!
>>687789597I played minecraft for years and never saw a single negro in the game unless you count Endermen. They don't make sense to me in the minecraft universe. I bet they left out the big honking nose NPC village merchants though.
what's their obsession with ugly black women?? couldn't they be cute at least?
>>687789597
>>687790581That's the goal, to remove all beauty and to make everything uglyCute and black are opposites
>>687790581white men must SUFFER
>>687782179>>687790419The Minecraft Movie has Jack Bl-ACK!
>>687765063This.
>Okay, we know this movie is gonna be shit, and only kids will watch it. But, if we put a black fat lady, we can dismiss all criticism as racism. -The American Entertainment Industry
>>687789597Someone needs to fan the culture war flames to bait retards into to defending this slop out of spite
>>687761876I mean he has a point. It's not changing what the game is. It's just a shitty movie.
>>687771665They grew up in the west (all food, shelter, education, etc on a silver platter, they never had to scavenge for it like we do) thus they are weak.
>she actually said "What the HELL"How did this get past the FCC? This is a kids move. Swearing is a no no.
>>687771665the boy is obviously a jew, which is why it looks weak and sickly. the girl may look strange to you because you've never seen a non-obese white girl before, or perhaps because she's dwarfed by jason momoa and the large gorilla.
They stole the eliacube from Wakfu.
>>687758357'member how happy you were when you heard Jason Momoa was going to star in the Minecraft movie?
>>687761395At least it isn't an eastern isekai
>>687782189money
>>687764249any time this topic of tropes or stale uninspired writing comes up i link thishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad3SyWNZn_Qi have nothing further to add
the plot seems to be about "saving the overworld from the ender dragon"the ender dragon doesn't exist in the overworld. he can't even path correctly in the overworld because there's no end island. they're writing the wrong movie. billions of kids will see this and think it's retarded and gay. the main villain character should have been the wither.
>>687758357That's what he gets for selling out.
>>687764930Some people have different ways of finding life fulfillment.
>>687794182he gets 2.5 billion dollars
>>687781456??
>>687788845No otherwise he would've won
>>687765063>>687791127Seethe, go suck Trey Parker's dick.
>>687794362I hope it was worth ruining his legacy over.
>>687758357Notch is too busy diving in his money bin to care. That and grabbing an extra handful from his M&M machine.
>>687758357Why there are adults as the protagonists in a minecraft movie? Narnia didn't have that shit
>Terraria tried making a tv series>it was a horrible abomination>Minecraft tries its hand at lore and movies>they're horrible abominations tooIT'S BUILDING BLOCKS AND FIGHTING MONSTERS, HOW DO YOU MESS THAT UP
>>687758357He's probably just greedily counting his money and masturbating
>>687761876he has a point. basically, throw bitch fits when it matters instead of weakening your argument for a quick win
>>687782189His buddy said something political that cancelled his music tour which mostly has adult fans for his music side. He needs to curry favor with the youth so they find him relevant for future movies
>MS has made 100X the scraps they paid Notch for Minecraft What a fat retard
>>687790821Is she balding? There's so much open space in the front
>>687795452Still has 10000x more money than your useless fat ass ever will lmao
>>687795572Lack of prefrontal cortex
Holt shit. Is this real?
>>687797114I'm more impressed over 300,000 people even have the dislike extension on just so they can tell the movie to go fuck itself
>>687758357>put the ONLY good looking person way in the back and the absolute worst front and centrefucking kek, not even being subtle in any way
>>687792301>take tough guy archetype>have him dress as a tough biker type>but dye his hair blonde and make his leather jacket pinkIs this the equivalent of that 2000s era where all the big action movie stars like Vin Diesel and Jason Statham were blatantly forced to star in at least one humiliating family movie where they do dumb shit like be the babysitter for some awful kids?
>>687797114Damn Warner bros can't stop taking the lose over and over.If they keep like this I wouldn't be surprised they go completely bankrupt by the end of the next year.
>>687758357This seems like the kind of movie Kevin Hart would have signed up for. I don't think many people would have complained if he was in it instead of that very large sheboon.
>>687758357OH MASSA YOU GON' MAKE ME SQUIRT
>>687758357I find Jewish girls very attractive
>>687795329That happened like last month, Jack Black has been moving into video game media for years>>687767705>the fat IndianLmao it's Jason Mamoa, retard
Lmao they made Jason mamoa fat and invalidated the ONLY reason why he is a draw: chick's want to see him with his shirt off. Auqaman made a billion dollars just from thirsty chick's who wanted to see momoa frolicking in the water. This movie is a dead man walking.
>>687763147i do a stoned playthru every 6-12 months on either modded 1.7.3 beta or modded 1.7.10
>>687764249investors dont want anyone to deviate from the thing that makes a guaranteed safe return, even if it means making supbar productsthe sooner you realise this the more you'll realise this applies to EVERY industry
>>687799620Will the movie have mods?
>>687798937there are no jewish girls in that image
>>687760980This basically
>>687765405it was honestly a good movie, just it had fucking nothing to do with marioif they called it something else it wouldve been a based generic 80s sci-fi flick>>687766664>i'll watch it for a generic 6/10 white girlman you guys perceptions on beauty have been warped so hard holy shit. is it cuz you're surrounded by fat uggos so much?
>>687759564I thought Steve was black.
>>687763147>Does anyone here still play Minecraft unironically?gf does it on her Switch and laptop, she sucks at it, but yes. normies do still play it unironically.
>>687758357Rollin rollin rollin nookie I did it all for the chucky the cookie the fucky
This movie is going to be as bad as borderlands but unlike borderlands, this movie is named Minecraft so it'll make billions and shatter records.Not much we can do about it. Normalfags and zoomers gonna normalfag and zoom.
>>687797874You can dislike videos without the extension.The extension just makes the stat visible.
>>687787278Unironically too soulful for this movie.
>>687799157doesn't change the fact he needs to keep relevancy in youth so they grow up remembering his as a preferred actor in movies.
>>687795329>Republicans desperately trying to cancel Jack Black for the actions of someone else. Black's only mistake was not telling the right to go fuck themselves and keep on going. Everyone's forgotten what it was about anyway.
>>687758357More like Notch is rolling on a pile of money after snorting coke out of a hooker’s ass
>>687764249This is Hollywood. They do nothing but redo the same trends over and over again because they think filmmaking is a solved art.
>>687797114>>687797874Going broke status: INCOMING
Notch is rolling down a corridor and Indiana Jones is running away while his theme song plays. Because Notch is fat.
>>687795329>durrDo you actually think this movie was conceived, scouted for, filmed, edited, and prepped for release in the past couple months? Do you really think that based on some political event?
>>687799775I know, but Emma Myers kind of reminds me of those pale Jewish girls and then after thinking about them I felt like typing that out
>>687758357>Notch with his Billions>Not my problem lol
>>687767724*Israelite. not the same as "jew". catch-all term to allow edomites to claim they are the original Israelites. >>687773157Old Testament Hebrewism IS Christianity. Jesus is mentioned several times in OT (proto- evangelium, the fourth figure in the fire in Daniel, psalms 22, and many more) Modern judaism is just talmudism, which is essentially the traditions of the elders that the pharisees followed (whom Christ rebukes several times). You guys need to stay in your lanes and just talk about video games lmfao>>687776823what the fuck are you talking about LOL. yeah dude worshipping Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God (who IS GOD) is lowly. keep sucking edomite cock dude, it'll turn out great for you!
This is better than the fucking hollyjew moviehttps://youtu.be/8uyxVmdaJ-w
>>687758357Momoa is the only cool person in this movie. He is such a chad he can play as some goofy garbage man in a pink jacket in a Minecraft movie and have thousands of women begging him to fuck them in the process
>>687800361this day and age, association alone kills you. Better to just end his tour
>>687769172>california leftismmeaning?
>>687793606>implying any of the writers or producers have played minecraft for more than 5 minutes.They probably didn't even hire consultants for this movie. You really think Mincraft ft. Hipponeequa has any respect for the source material?
>>687801370>association alone kills youTell that to everyone in Epstein's flight list.
>>687801570>literally kills epstein
>>687793606"SOMEHOW, it escaped onto the overworld and its our duty to kill it!"You can write anything you want for a movie, that's probably just a notch fuck up on the programming side
>>687801608*literally sends epstein to Israel
>>687764249Because it's all made by the same jews.
>>687758357I can't wait for the tamers12345 episode where Bartleby beats the shit out of Sonic because he won't stop crying about how much the movie sucks.
>>687758357>trailer up for only 10 hours>already more dislikes than likesI'm honestly surprised comments are still enabled. Normies are shitting down the trailer's throat lmao.
>>687772320>already getting wrinklesshe hit the wall and she's not even legal what the fuck
>>687758357I'm really struggling to figure out how this got greenlit. ESG isn't a thing anymore, and you had a guaranteed slam dunk with an animated movie, yet they chose to make this abomination...
>>687801923she is as long as you get her parents to sign a document, worth it!
>>687801923>shitskin doesn't know what dimples are
>>687763147lost 4 years of progress and I dont want to redo my mega project again(draining water levels for a dam).im 28 and I dont have that energy that I had in 2012 plus there is stuff like space engineers now.
>>687802229>ESG isn't a thing anymoreOh no, Anon, it's still very much a thing. It was just renamed to DEI, until DEI started to get called out and now it's SGI
>>687781301So tolerant
>>687802293Why does she look like Daxter?
>>687801490nah i don't think anyone working on this played minecraft at all lmao. 0% of them know what the ender dragon even is. i know licensed slop should never be expected to be faithful to the source material, but a bunch of literal kids who played the game are about to fuck around and find that outif the credits don't immediately roll after killing the end dragon then they definitely have no fucking clue.
>>687802575What does this even mean?
>>687802385some 30 year olds look younger than her
>>687782189he has a son who likes videogames and he's a loud embarrassing dad. it seem simple to me
>>687758357I always expected this shit to happen even before MS bought it.
>>687799867Steve is Jack Black
>>687758357Put me in the screencap!
>>687761876neither of these retards represent the right
>>687758357Why does every black woman in vidya games related movies have to be repulsive. Not every niggerwoman has to be fat with a disgusting hairdo you know.
>make something that's absolutely putrid trash>but braindead NPC normalfag sheeple will still flock to it and throw their undeserved money at it>then they'll claim it was a success and rub it in our facesAnyone else fucking sick of this shit?What can be done?
>>687763358What changed?
>>687783648how to world...
normies will save them in theaters. Here's a thought - the publicly traded AAA publishers should get the fuck out of making vidya, and stick to doing what they do best - make derivative movie/show slop for normies to consume based on the games that only the artists should make
>>687804996>>687804196Why is this allowed?
>>687799157if you cant tell just by looking then youre an actual fucking retard, its not rocket science
>>687758357haha fat joke I get it
>>687785168>but it doesn't have to be because it's for childrenI hope you don't complain about "muh brainrot slop" and "kids these days have no taste" in the same breath.Because that would just be hypocritical.
>>687804996>>687804196>le theatres will save the movieBreh... Theatres are fucking ghost towns.
>>687759564>minecraft has zanzibart lore
>>687805504>underestimating normalfags
>>687805781I'm not, even marvel slop, aka the normiest of all normalfaggot slop is barely breaking even nowadays.(Exception being the wolverine x deadpool movie)
>>687777235That guy made another video which I think fits these video game adaptations morehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PbkxyZfI8k
>>687768157probabky because they can cannibalise the script from the book, whereas the game can not offer that, therefore tropes and creative bankruptcy.i mean RezEvil didnt do that, but people generally hate that movie too it seems.
>>687805504>he says as Deadpool v wolverine and inside out 2 shatter recordsHow out of touch with reality are you?
>>687758357Notch is rolling on top of his grave. He just really likes the lawn
>>687806508Those are two exceptions and you know it.You're the one out of touch if you think that these two movies are the norm.They're the barbie/oppenheimer of this year.Everything else is dead. in the past two years has been a bust.
>>687764249>THIS SUMMER...
>>687761395... Never
>>687760980Yes, we live in a society
>>687758357Is this just Jumanji for Gen A?
>>687764249yeah, it might as well be AI by this point
>>687764249
>>6878036151. Because it's about sending a message2. Because it would cost them too much money to hire good looking ones like Maserati xxx
>>687758357Notch was a grifter who took his billions and fucked off
The CG is shocking
>>687781315what? nigga didn't he buy beyonce's house?
I would sell my dream game for a billion.
>>687806971WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE
>>687758357He willingly sliced it's throat anyway with the sellout.
>>687759564Why does everyone hate Jack Black now?
>>687800647Him ot getting any blood on the canvas is still funny.
>>687768087Right after this guy's cameohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t_1AduQ8OQ
>>687782189a tales as old as time, jew and pedophilia
>>687770548Holy shit, I missed this guy.We need this meme to rise from the dead.
>>687808479He sold out his best friend for no reason
>>687794747>>Terraria tried making a tv seriesFirst time I heard of this.oh wow
>>687801151>my jew cult that worships a literal jew as god where 99% of adherents want to go to war for israel is actually basedlol retard
>>687808479too much of a coward to at least stick with his best friend, despite everyone being aware what his political beliefs areI don't hate him because because he's a hollywood socialist, left wing, anti american, anti white jewI hate him because he's a fucking coward
>>687758357>Notch is rolling over in his grave.laughing on his cash pile and thanking god every day he got out when he didfixed
>>687769208He was the best character in high fidelity and tropic thunder
>>687758357>rolling in billions of dollars and hookersftfy
>>687787348But he's from Earth.
>>687810034That wasn't offical
>>687763147Worst post in this entire thread. Kys sincerely
>>687763147Live yourself, nigger
>>687760728i agree, only milla jovovich should be allowed to act in videogame movies.
>>687770548I love the banjo video kek. Makes me laugh everytiem
>>687764249>>687764828Be grateful they don't have the trailer voice guy anymore and let the film speak for itself.
>>687783406What is the joke supposed to be here thet the sheep look retarded?If thats the joke its shit
>>687758357The fat fuck isn't dead yet somehow.
